Precious, glorious, wonderful sleep – how I miss thee. Will I ever know what it’s like to sleep more than 3 hours at a time? Sometimes it feels like I’ll never know that feeling again. But I try to remind myself that this will pass. That said, right now is REALLY tough. And many of you have asked me for an update on Molly’s sleep patterns so I thought I’d share where we are today. Hopefully by sharing my experience (and you guys sharing yours in the comments below!) we can help each other and share tips so all the moms and dads reading this can get some much needed sleep.
Waking Up All Night Long
Where to begin? Well Molly has not been sleeping lately – like at all. I don’t think she slept more than a 2.5 to 3 hour stretch in over six weeks. And the last few nights have been especially hard with her waking up every single hour! Last night she just “talked” to herself in bed for almost 2 hours. And when I say talked, I don’t mean she was quietly making coos. Oh no. She was SHOUTING during the conversation with herself. So she wasn’t really crying (although she did that plenty of times throughout the night), she was just wide awake.
Normally this wouldn’t be that big of a problem; however, she sleeps in our bedroom next to our bed so that conversation she’s having keeps me up all night too. The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that your baby stay in your room with you for 6 months to up to a year. So it’s been really important to us to keep Molly in our room. However, I just don’t know if we can do it anymore. I feel like she smells me and knows I’m nearby and wants to breastfeed for comfort. Any other moms experience this? Plus, by talking to herself instead of sleeping she’s not getting the much-needed sleep she needs. Which is making her a lot more fussy during the day.
Sleep Training
And sometimes the talking turns into screaming. To train her for naps we actually let her cry a little bit. Not fully cry-it-out, but a limited cry method. Prior to “nap training”, she was only napping for 30 minutes at a time. But when we started letting her cry and learn to sooth herself, her 30 minute naps turned into an hour to two hour naps – which is great! So we thought we could use the same logic when she wakes up in the middle of the night. So, when she wakes up we’ll let her cry but she DOESN’T self soothe herself. She’ll cry and cry and cry (which breaks my heart) until I pick her up. Sometimes it’s not even hunger, because she won’t eat anything. I really don’t know what to do at this point. We’ll also give her a full bottle of breastmilk before bed to make sure she’s filling up her little tummy before bed.
The Owlet
Our one saving grace in all of this is the Owlet baby monitor. I blogged about the Owlet before and many of you had asked me if we still use it and like it. The answer to those questions? Yes, we use it every single night and we love it! Honestly, the little bit of sleep that I do get is only because of the Owlet. I know that when Molly is sleeping she is breathing and her little heart is beating and that allows me to get much needed sleep.
For those of you who don’t know, the Owlet is a little snuggly sock that Molly wears on her foot when she goes to bed at night. It monitors her heart rate and oxygen levels and sends that information to an app on my phone. If her heart rate or oxygen levels drop below a certain level an alarm on the base station of the Owlet goes off and will alert me and Kevin. We are so grateful that we have not heard that alarm. And I hope we never do. But knowing that we have this safeguard in place gives us such peace of mind.
My code still works btw. So you can use code MOLLY30 to get $30 off an Owlet monitor! It’s truly one of the best investments you’ll ever make. If any of you reading this have the Owlet, please share your stories in the comments below! I’m sure you must love it as much as I do. Get yours HERE.
Let’s Help One Another!
Anyway, thank you in advance for reading this blog and for sharing your tips in the comments below. Ever since I became a mom, I really wanted this blog to be a place where moms and dads can come together and share information. Well that, and share my super fun affordable fashion finds with all of you! Ha!
Now let’s share sleeps stories in the comments and hopefully help each other out!
Luv,
One very tired mom
P.S. Thank you Owlet for everything! Partnering with you has been so incredible. The Owlet is the single most important product we own. We can’t thank you guys enough for creating it!
Baby wise by Ezzo and Buckman is the best read as you bring a baby into your home. We have read before each delivery to brush up on strategy that we started at 6 weeks but can start later. We have age 6 and 4 that sleep 10+ hours and 18 month old 10-12 hours every night! It is worth the work to have alone time with your spouse.
I tried following that book. It didn’t work for us in the first few months because Molly wasn’t napping well. So I couldn’t do feed – wake – sleep. It was more like feed – wake – sleep – wake – feed. But now that she is napping better I should revisit the book! Thanks for the reminder!
I agree! Babywise has been a game changer for us! I also follow the Babywisemom.com blog, and she offers so much information on nap troubleshooting and all the good things. I hope you get Rest soon!
We love babywise! We didn’t follow the method exactly as I couldn’t get my little man to nap each feeding but we tried. At 9 weeks we transitioned our son to his crib as he had been napping well in there for a few weeks. It was never my plan to move him so early but we went for it. He did great and only wakes 1-2 times per night, typically sleeps 6-8 hours at a time. I will say one thing that helped us is to establish a bedtime routine. Every night around 7:30 we read a story, he gets a bath (we only use soap every 3rd day) and then we give him a massage and swaddle him. I think this routine helps him to understand it’s bedtime. Sending you and Molly sleepy vibes tonight!
No sleep is terrible. I have a 6 month old and he started sleeping through the night at 5 months 3 weeks and he is breastfed only and eats every 3 hours during the day. Look into in Sleep Sense Program, it worked for us. It sounds similar to what you did at nap time. I would use the same principle that worked for naps at night time. You need to commit to a method once you start otherwise it can be confusing for the baby. I have friends who used the program and the first two nights it’s was hours of crying and going in every ten minutes (luckily we didn’t have to go through that) but each night gets better. We modified the program a little to work for us and I picked a cut off time and wouldn’t feed him before that time because I knew he wasn’t hungry he just wanted me. I also sent my husband in after the ten minutes, he calmed him much faster. For us we wouldn’t pick him up as that would upset him more we would just rub his head and once he calmed a little leave for another ten minutes. We did it in stages and decided what worked best for us and I think as long as I you do that and are consistent you’ll be happy you did it.
Eat, wake, sleep will probably work a little better now that she’s older! I know in the beginning that is basically impossible with growth spurts and cluster feeding. Also, how old is she? She could be going through the dreaded 4 month regression! We are sleep trainers and are so thankful for it! We all need sleep and babies need it for development. Beat of luck!
P.s. She’s just adorable! ??
Babywise was a lifesaver for me! I did the eat wake sleep method with my first (who is now 2.5yrs) and again with my arcing who is 5 months. Now my second was a lot easier. She starting sleeping through the night on her own at 10 weeks. My first that was NOT the case. She needed a lot more sleep training. I am total believer in sleep training but you have to do what works best for you. Every baby is different and every mama is different. ?
About moving Molly to her own room, I think 4 months is probably a good age especially if she’s having trouble sleeping. We kept my second in with us until she was 4 months and that was probably a month too long. I think that she could smell me and wake up or my alarm going off in the morning would wake her too. Have you heard of the book Happiest Baby on the Block? It’s a pretty good read with some good soothing techniques.
Just remember no one knows what their doing with their first baby. We are all just figuring it out. Molly is happy and healthy and at the end of the day that’s what matters. But I do hope for your sake she sleeps again! ?❤️
We also follow baby wise. We’ve done it with both our daughters (23 months and 3 months). With the first daughter we thought maybe we were just lucky but now with our second we can see it’s really the eat, wake, sleep working. We feed our daughter every 3 hours (ish) 6 times a day. -obviously we adjust if she is hungry earlier or later, etc. But having a schedule has been a lifesaver for us! Good luck Ali!
I had 2 daughters and this book was the best gift ever! Seriously revisit, it’s worth another shot 🙂
I tried baby wise and it had me in a fetal position crying hysterically bc it was just too much for us. It didn’t work and I felt like a failure. I was right there with the waking up every hour for 4 months. I was a bit crazy. It doesn’t sound like she has anything that’s hurting her, like reflux or milk allergy, that could be waking her up since she’s sometimes just talking to herself. I received very good advice from doctors and mothers who said exactly what you are suspecting. She could be waking up bc she smells or hears you. We make noises just like they do in our sleep and she might be a light sleeper. Also, babies are smart and they will train themselves to wake up if they think you’ll come and pick them up. They want to be held and snuggled and they can develop a habit of waking up really quickly. If you have the baby monitor you have I would suggest moving her to her own room soon. I understand the recommendations but those just changed and billions of babies have slept in their own rooms before 6 months. If she was a premie or had any kind of health risks I would be more concerned but you have done everything you can to make sure she is safely sleeping. Now she just needs to sleep! Good luck mama. You’re doing great, even though you might not feel like it
We referred to baby wise with both of ours and we have great sleepers now. Our first one was quick to fall into the pattern and it took a little longer with our second.
Two things that caused my second to wake up around that 4 month age were…1) he was getting bigger and when he would stretch or move and bump edges of bassinet it would wake him up 2) smelling me and thinking he should eat
My first one was in my room 6+ months, but my second moved to his room between 5-6 for the above reasons and it helped!
Every baby and family is different…you will find what works best for you!
Hi Ali, my husband and I went through the same thing. Our son didn’t want to sleep and was super colicky until he was about 4-5 months old. My advice try not to let the baby sleep more than 3 hours total during the day so that she is tired at night. Stick to a schedule that works for you. We found keeping a night routine (bath, bottle, bed at the same time every night) very successful, and also making it dark and quiet at night and lively during the day. It killed me at first to let my son “cry-it-out” but if you know she is not hungry, wait 10 minutes (I always timed it for my sanity), go in give a soother and a cuddle if needed and put back to bed. It was around 4 months where I started the switch to his own room and crib. I started with putting him in there for his nap during the day so that he started to associate it with sleep. That worked for me. I also only brought out his soother and blankie at nap time and bed time, so that he associated those things with sleep. When you have a routine like that they start to know what is coming next. Also you are probably right that she can sense you there, they are so smart! Once we got him out of our room believe it or not things started getting better. The stretches between feeds will get longer and then eventually she will sleep through the night. It was around 11 months where our son started, man was it nice! I also switched him to formula around 5 months and he was so much happier. Anyways, hang in there and remember babies thrive on schedules and routine! Enjoy your little munchkin, cause she’ll be running around in no time. Xo
Molly is adorable!! When my daughter was a little younger than Molly I would put her down for bed in her own crib around 7pm, then go about my evening with my baby monitor close by. If she cried. I would soothe/nurse her, then put her back in her bed. If she was awake at the time that I was ready for bed, then I would bring her to my room and put her down in her bassinet. She started sleeping for much longer stretches, and maybe after a week was sleeping completely in her own bedroom. I know they recommend keeping babies in your room until 6 months now, but this worked for us.
We have used sound machines for our two. My daughter didnt sleep through the night until she was 10 months old and my husband worked nights then. It ws the worst and then i found the Conair sound machine. I put it on white noise, my daughter slept 9 hours that night. I guess she didn’t like that it was so quiet. We also gave them warm baths with the Johnson and Johnson nightime bath and used the lotion too.
That book is great but as you experienced can be hard to do in the beginning. Try it again now that she is older. It may work better.
I am not a mom, but while browsing the app store on my phone I did see a free app called “White Noise Free: Sounds for sleep and relaxation”. I am not sure if it will work for babies but it got good reviews on helping people sleep…might be worth a try.
Wow, I remember! So painful!!
My Sophia is 10 months. She was sleeping through the night by 3 months. I credit it all to one amazing book. “The Happy Sleeper”. I mean, go figure. Just read the name! I totally recommend it. We followed it to a tee and voila! You don’t have to read the whole thing. Just read the part that pertains to Mollys age. It’s awesome. Happy sleeping, Mama!! ??????
Ali,
Will you explain how you tackled the 30 minute naps in more depth? I’m having that problem with our 7 month old who has yet to extend her naps and would love your advice!
What kind of bassinet are you using? My little one is almost 4 months also and sleeps in a bassinet next to our bed. We struggled a TON with sleep. Also do you guys use the Magic Merlin sleepsuit? Any chance Molly might have reflux?
My baby is 4.5 months. Going through the exact same thing as Ali! I ordered the Merlin magic sleepsuit. I am desperate! I’m getting it delivered tomorrow. Has it worked for you? I’ll try anything at this point. We are also transitioning him into his crib so that’s not helping 🙁
The magic suit worked wonders for my little boy at 6 weeks old. He still sleeps in it and is able to soothe himself if he wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s better than a swaddle or sleep suit in my opinion.
My baby is 5 months now and she would wake up in the middle of the night too and she wasn’t hungry but she wouldn’t be able to self soothe herself back to sleep. My pediatrician was a big proponent of letting her cry it out so she could learn to self soothe and I was really hesitant because like you said it tears at your heartstrings 🙁 my pediatrician was sure it would only take 1 to 2 nights to “train” her and she would sleep though the night after that so I tried it. You have to be able to stomach listening to her cry for so long but let me tell u- it worked! At around 4 months I did it and it took 2 nights- each night she cried for a little over an hour (!?) until she fell back asleep and since then she’s been the best baby!! She sleeps for 10-12 hours a night! (I breastfeed/ give pumped bottles except for 1 formula bottle in the middle of the day). My pediatrician said that letting her cry but eventually soothing her myself would just prolong her crying and not teach her to self soothe. Of course you have to do what works for you and every baby and mommy is different and I had the backing of a pediatrician who has tons of experience and I love and trust 100% which helped to get through those 2 nights.. Good luck! I know how difficult and exhausting it can be 🙁
I had 5 children. They are all different. But the fact that they all grow up and sleep through the night does happen. My kids slept in our bed. My husband and I took turns getting up (i breastfed them) if they weren’t hungry. Just hold your baby they grow up fast? One of my daughters was addicted to the telletubbies. Thank goodness she out grew that.
Hi Ali – my daughter is also 4 months. We transitioned her out of our room to her crib right next door at 3 months. We started first with naps in her crib. Then first part of the night until she needed a feed. And soon after the full night. I could not sleep with all of her little adorable noises and talking (I’m a very light sleeper) and it made a world of a difference for her and us. It allowed her to self soothe or just talk and eventually fall back asleep. Somehow I wake up when she’s really awake and needs something. She never cries but I know when she’s hungry or is ready for the day. A friend recommended we use the “Mom’s on Call” which is a short book and a great app written by two nurses. It provides a good guideline/summary of a schedule at each exact age. This has really helped my daughter during the day to manage a better feeding and nap routine. Also at night it’s critical she has a routine- bath time, reading, massage, bottle. I now recognize her cry for hunger, when she needs a nap (rubbing eyes or a yawn) as soon as I see those signs of tired it’s critical to proactively put her down for a nap and it works. I never linger in the room. She goes right in her sleep sack, I turn her shades down, (sound machine during the day only) /’d give her a kiss and walk out of the room. She passes out in less than a minute. The longer I’m in there, the more she stays awake. Also another transition method is to let her hang in her crib when you put away her laundry or just let her play so she becomes more comfortable with her space and room. Best of luck and I always enjoy your honesty and candor regarding Miss Molly. You’re already an amazing mom!!
I would try transitioning her to her own room and see how she does! I know the AAP recommends you keep the babe in your room for 6ish months, but I do think that’s a general guideline and that each family should choose what’s best for them. We put my son into the crib as soon as we got home from the hospital and he was totally fine! Plus with the Owlet I think you would still feel pretty safe. We didn’t try “sleep training” until my nugget was around 8 months so I feel your non-sleeping pain. Hang in there!!! Do you have a swing you could try to put her in so you can catch some extra zzz’s at night? Sometimes that worked for us. Mine didn’t sleep through the night until he was a year old (!) and we somehow survived it. She will eventually sleep, I promise! xo
I know. The ONLY reason I am considering moving her is because we have the Owlet. I wouldn’t feel close to comfortable doing that otherwise. It’s still going to be hard to do though! I’m so used to her being next to me in her bassinet at night!
I agree totally that you should think about moving her to her own room…you won’t wake up for all of those little “conversations” or small noises which means you will sleep more and she will eventually sleep more, too. Another option is having your husband sleep in the room with her while you sleep in another room and trade off with him so that one of you can REALLY sleep at least other than when you are feeding her.
I had one really great sleeper and one that we had to finally let totally “cry it out” at 11 months. I will say that when we finally committed to cry it out, it was over in 2 nights and she slept through the night after that no problem. You may not be quite there yet b/c Molly is still little but around 6 months I would really think about it.
The cry it out method absolutely works and it only took us 2 nights as well. It is hard but it works. Babies will train themselves to wake up if they know you’ll come to them.
How did you do CIO?
My mum is a midwife and it’s fine to move her to her own room if she’s keeping you up at night. My best friend had to do the same thing as her Bub kept making sounds all night. She had a video baby monitor on her bedside table so she could still see Bub in the night. Good luck
Agree 100% about moving her to her own room. I think you know the easy things like maintaining a consistent schedule, lengthy naps (my ped once said, the more they sleep during the day, the more they’ll want to sleep at night, and that was true for us), make sure she’s full before bedtime, white noise machine, and sleep sack. If you’ve checked off all those boxes, I say go for a room change. She’ll be fine, and you’ll *both* sleep better! We moved our daughter to the nursery around 3 months, was so much better for everyone.
Our two month old was doing the same thing but as soon as we moved her into her room she sleeps for about 5-6 hours now. I watch her on the monitor and she moves all over her crib. I personally think that she felt too cramped in her bassinet and needed to move around. She moves 180 degrees and then 360. She soothes herself unless she hits the 5ish hours and is hungry. I don’t sleep through the night because I am constantly looking at the monitor missing her and making sure she is okay. But I say do what is best for you and your family! Momma always knows best. Good luck!
First off, you are one awesome mama! I LOVE reading your posts, and getting baby updates. Molly is so beautiful, and now that I’m a new mom too, I can’t get enough of mom blogs! It’s so nice to read about things that we’re going through as well.
Our little guy moved into his own room at two months, and we haven’t looked back. I agree, every family is different, and different things work for each one, but I think all of us were such loud sleepers that we would wake each other up at night ! The first one or two nights I was nervous, and would check the video monitor a lot, but after those nights went well, I calmed down a bit 🙂
Also, I cannot recommend weebeedreaming.com enough. It is my bible! I follow her sleep schedules for awake times and sleep times according to age, and it’s worked so well for us.
An article about Nightwakings: Habit vs Hunger – a good read if you have time.
http://www.weebeedreaming.com/my-blog/nightfeedings
Hang in there! Sleep will come back 🙂
Hi Ali,
I have an 8 month old baby who isn’t a great sleeper either so wanted to share some things that helped and worked for us. I had a really hard time with letting my son cry it out so I have been really into trying anything else that I thought might help. First thing that helped a lot was moving him into his own room. It was hard for me bc I love having him next to my bed but he sleeps better and longer so we did it. We did it at 6 months. But how old is Molly? It’s great you have the owlet and also we have a monitor that I leave on high next to me so I can hear everything. Do you have a sound machine? I found that the white noise helps. Also sometimes I try putting my son in his crib sleepy but awake and I’ll sit next to the crib and rub his back, legs and then usually after some talking and moving around the crib, he’ll fall asleep on his own and he sleeps longer stretches falling asleep on his own rather than when he’s nursed to sleep. Sorry for the long post but hope any of these tips help even a little!! Hang in there ?
Definitely move her to her own room! We put our little girl in her own room across the hall from ours our first day home from the hospital. She has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks!
Hi Aly.
My husband and I recently married in June after 3yrs of dating. We always knew we wanted to start a family ….as exciting as it sounded, I must admit I was a little afraid. We recently found out in early October that we are expecting. I am 11 weeks and 2 days, due in June 2017. Reading your blog (even the sleepless nights) has actually gotten me excited about mommy life. I had felt a lil sad and depressed due to some bad days/nights. Seeing how you express yourself of your daughter just makes me get gitty and excited for my baby. And because of the blog and your code, I made my first baby purchase… the Owlet. 🙂
Thank you for sharing the ups/downs of mommy life. I shouldn’t say ups or downs… more like the realistic life of parenting.
Totally agree with Julie. We also had the baby sleeping in the crib at night in her own room from day one. I was nervous about SIDS too, but keeping baby sleeping on her back and baby monitor on and everything should be fine. 🙂
We moved our son to his room when he was six weeks old, and luckily that helped us out. He still gets up once a night around 4am for a feeding (he is breastfed). For whatever reason he hated his pack and play, but luckily does like his crib. I was very nervous to move him out of our room, but his room is about 10 feet away from our bed so it’s very close. I have the video monitor right by my head at night and it wakes me up if he is starting to stir. My pediatrician said it was fine, even with the new sleep guidelines. We also use the Owlet which does make me sleep easier. We had some struggles with the Owlet at the beginning. It should be mentioned that the base station needs to be within 10 feet of your baby and the sock or it will not work correctly. Also, the sock comes easily off baby’s foot so the baby will need to wear another sock on top of the Owlet, or will need to wear footed pajamas.
I journal ed both my kids sleep patterns and looked over them as I noticed significant change. What I found was that our daughters sleep patterns changed up with their growth in one way or another. For instance in your case Molly finding her voice. For her this must be exciting. She is heard, she is hearing her voice, she gets reactions. She wants to use this new skill as much as possible. Then for us it would settle, we would get used to our new “normal” and they would learn something new like sitting up, pulling, up and so on… each new skill offered a different sleep pattern for my girls and us. They would “practice” their new skill often especially when they met the safety of their crib. I would just journal everything and see what you find. It’s interesting to put pieces together ypu never noticed before. Just my 2 cents.
First of all, you’re doing great and you deserve some good sleep! My daughter is just a little older than Molly and we did sleep training with her at 4 months old (cry it out) and it was one of the best things we have done. I agree with you that perhaps it’s time to move her to her own room, especially since you have the Owlet! You can have peace of mind without waking up to her every peep. It could be that you’re both over stimulating each other in the current sleeping situation. She may need some space from you in order to learn how to self-soothe. And you may need the space so you don’t wake up to every little noise. I do respect the new sleep guidelines, but it wasn’t right for me and our family. For reference, my six and a half month old daughter Johanna sleeps from 7pm-7am without waking at all at night and naps once in the morning for a few hours and again in the afternoon for a few hours. The sleep and sanity are both amazing. And she is a much happier and content baby for it too!
So amazing that you have trained your daughter to sleep that well. MAJOR props to you! And I think you are right about moving her into the other room. Kevin and I keep saying we are going to try it and then don’t because we don’t want to be away from her. But having the Owlet is going to make it SO much easier once we do make that move.
Question for you though, when you did “cry it out” at nighttime, what guidelines did you follow? I’m still not entirely sure what that means. Or do you recommend a certain website or book for me to read more about it? We did a limited version of cry it out during naps (going in to check on her after 10 mins of crying) and it worked SO well! She naps like a champ now. With almost zero crying at nap time. But when I tried it at night, she will cry for a LONG time and I just can’t take it – it’s heartbreaking. Maybe she really is hungry after 3 hours. She eats every 3 hours during the day – so I guess that would make sense.
Ugh. I don’t know…
I am guessing she won’t self soothe at night because she KNOWS you are in the room (she probably really can smell you). If she self-soothes during the day she can do it at night!
We used Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth and it was AMAZING. So many good ideas about sleep. Especially the early bedtime, which we kept up until they were in school! https://www.amazon.com/dp/0449004023/?tag=mh0b-20&hvadid=4962578477&hvqmt=e&hvbmt=be&hvdev=c&ref=pd_sl_4w56rp64hd_e
We used healthy sleep habits happy child too for both children and still use it for transitions for my kids who are 4 & 6 years old. The book is amazing and guides you at each stage of Mollys journey. You will love it!
I agree. Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is a life saver and based on science. The whole family will be happier and better rested.
Yes! This book is what we have used for our 3 boys! It was brilliant! And it has both a cry it out and non cry it out method. I don’t know what we would have done without it. My first 2 started sleeping through the night in their own room at 6 weeks and would sleep 10-12 hours!! And still take awesome naps! My third we call a “sensitive soul.” He would scream if he wasn’t attached to me. So we co slept which I SWORE I would never do!!! But I’ve learned that you HAVE to do what works for you and each individual child! There are so many good guidelines and methods but each child is different! My littlest has had a hard time transitioning to his own room because he was always with mom. But I had no other option. If we wanted to sleep he slept with us. But seriously Healthy Sleep Habbits, Happy child is amazing! Try again!
Honestly I think she just knows you’re close by and doesn’t want to miss out on anything so she’ll cry so that she can be with you! My little one wasn’t self soothing at night until we did the modified cry it out method. He sleeps in his own crib in his nursery. I am also breastfeeding and like you, I give him a bottle before he goes to bed and nurse him after in case he’s still hungry. My little guy who’s the same age as Molly (7/6/16!) can sleep from 8pm-4/5am. I will say there are random nights now where he’ll still wake up around 2/3 and will want to eat but it’s a HUGE Improvement from where we were a month ago, where I wasn’t getting more than 3 hrs of sleep. Hope this helps! You’re doing great Ali! I love reading your blog.
Great question! We did a modified cry it out as outlined by the Ferber Method at first. You’ll find a chart if you Google it. For some babies, that does the trick! I did buy the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby” and after reading that, a LOT of what he wrote made complete sense to me and so from then on we switched to cry it out. So unless we can see there is a problem on the monitor, or if she is sick, we let her cry. It’s HARD, don’t get me wrong, the training part is hard on mommy (in the book he even advises that maybe mom steps out for a while and have dad handle the cries). But once I realized that it’s safe for your baby to cry and that it’s so important for your baby to learn to self soothe, that was a turning point for me. The one downside of Ferber is that sometimes babies may read the “check ins” as a guide for how long they need to scream for you to come back and they WILL persist until you go in, because they know you will come back. If you give it a few days of a full cry it out method, she should learn really quickly that crying alone won’t get you to run to her side and that she needs to sleep.
I do think both Ferber method or a full cry it out method can be very, very effective. One piece of advice though, I did read that you can switch from a modified cry it out (like Ferber) to full cry it out, but not vice versa because they will just cry longer to get you to come back. So once you start a full cry it out method, be sure to stick to your guns! It will happen quickly, unless you give in! Again, not easy to do, but SO worth it for a well-rested mommy and happy and healthy baby who can put herself to sleep. That was so long-winded! Sorry about that! 🙂
Yes, ditto to Health Sleep Habits. We instituted the 7pm bedtime at four months and never looked back. Having our evenings back was life changing. My husband also did a ‘dream feed’ at 10:30/11 before he went to bed and our son slept til 7am pretty much every night from then on. But I’m also apparently the meanest mom ever because I put my son in his room from night one realizing that there was no way I could sleep with him in our room making noises all night. We also did cry it out starting at 9 weeks to drop him from 3 to 2 to 1 night feeding(s) – it was hard (I even turned on the bathroom fan outside our bedroom to drown him out!) but it didn’t take long and now, at 20 months he’s the best sleeper and loves his crib, so it was definitely worth it. This, too, shall pass. Hang in there, mama.
One more thing! From what I’ve read, nighttime sleep training tends to be more effective than nap time sleep training. Be sure to get her well rested during the day, by any means possible, and then start training at night when she is not over-tired and is the most sleepy. You will probably have great results, especially since you said she doesn’t seem hungry when she wakes either. And since you already have a good nap time routine set, I think the night time one should actually go very smoothly for you! Also, I butchered the name of the book, Sara who commented above had it correctly!
I agree with Melissa! We also did CIO at 4 months and it was the best thing we ever did for our baby and ourselves. Granted, I was a nervous wreck and my husband was the real motivator in our scenario. (it’s just too heartbreaking when our babies cry!) The first night we checked on our baby at 5, 10, 20 and 30 min intervals. Each time just going in patting his back, saying some quick sweet words, and then leaving the room again. he never cried more than 30 minutes and was officially sleeping through the night by night 3! Some friends had warned it could take up to 5-7 nights, so I braced for longer and this was a nice surprise. Our Pediatrician had soothed our fears that he would be ok without food during the night and was absolutely at an age where he could go that long without a bottle and not have a blood sugar drop or anything. It’s also MUCH easier to sleep train when they’re this age, versus older. You’re totally on the right track with nap training, she’ll get the night routine down soon, too! Also, something to think about is, night time routine? Bath, jammies, snuggles and a book with dim lights before feeding? So much easier said than done, but this helped us establish his routine and ours 😉 Good luck!!
Thank you for sharing! I know we need to do this. And the first step is having her sleep in her crib. There really is no reason why she shouldn’t sleep in her crib (since we have the Owlet!). I guess it’s more me not feeling ready. But I need to be strong and just do it!
You’ve got this! 🙂 Simply having her in another room alone is going to be huge. Before we completely moved Johanna to her own room at 6 weeks, I would have her sleep in the crib for a short amount of time at night. So if she woke at 4:00am for a feeding, I’d put her in the crib after she nursed so that I could test out being away from her for a shorter period of time at night. So that was more for me than it was for her! I agree with Jenna as well in saying that the sooner you do it, the easier it will be for Molly to adjust and learn. Best of luck to you, Kevin, and Molly!
Hi Ali
I have been following your journey. My baby is 2 months old. I had a miscarriage before him. That is why i am no where near ready to let him sleep on his own. Dont feel bad if she is still sleeping in your room because we lost a bby we are over protective.
Breastfeeding babies are usually awake a lot more than formula ones.
I would recommend not letting her sleep for long periods during the day. I came to realise they are a lot more tired and sleep like 5 to 6 hours. I realy dont have any fancy gadgets or books. I just nurture him and i let him fall asleep on my chest if i lay him down he sleeps for hours. Some babies love to feel the mothers touch. You are doing good.
I am in the same boat as you. I have a 6 month old baby girl who does not like to roll from belly to back. She’s has been in our bedroom since she was born and I’m too nervous to more her into her crib until I see her flip over. I haven’t purchased the Owlet yet but I am strongly considering it!! I think it may help us both sleep better. However, she has been exclusively breastfed since she wa born until about 2 weeks ago! Ever since she has been on formula it has helped her sleep for up to 8 hours at a time in our room. I’m not sure your feeding plan but 6 months was always my gone with breastfeeding and I think it’s agreed with her too!
Hey Ali. I had loads of trouble with my son and sleep. He’s almost 11 months and only just started sleeping through the night. 7:30pm – 7:00am. This is how we trained him:
Bath and feed. Then put him down in his crib and told him night night. Left him and he’d be crying but we’d only leave him for 5 minutes then went back in and put him back down and told him night night and left the room again. This time we’d leave for a longer period (7 minutes). Went back in and lay him down and spoke to him nicely and kissed him etc. Left room again. Each time we left we extended the period for a little longer. Only had to go up to about 20 minutes and he’d fallen asleep by then. We only had to do this for about two nights. It was smooth sailing after that. Best thing we did. Then no sleep was extremely stressful. Both baby and parents need a proper nights rest.
A progressive CIO approach is the kindest for parents and babies! Ferber recommends for the first night is.. baby cries – check after 3 min. Then cry for 5 min, then check, then cry for 10 and keep going in every 10 min. The baby might take an hour+ to cry, but she will fall asleep eventually! Night 2 is slightly longer intervals and each night keeps building upon longer intervals. Takes 1-3 nights, usually.
I read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth. I liked his book because it gave us different levels of the crying it out phase. So it wasn’t so harsh in the beginning. It talked about stimulation and how when feeding in the middle of the night, no lights and little to no interaction with the baby. He explained the sleep cycle and significance of a nap schedule. Routine was also a key topic. I hope this helps. And I hope the feedback you get from the other Mommies helps as well. Be strong! You got this Mama!
We read healthy sleep habits healthy baby and followed this method for cry it out and my daughter has increased her sleep intervals drastically! I love following your mommy posts and think you’re doing a wonderful job. Oh and Molly is so so adorable!
I put a little bit of rice in all 3 of my kids nighttime bottle at 6 weeks. Also, is it possible she has silent reflux?
We are in the middle of sleep training our son who isn’t turned 4 months old yesterday. We are doing the Ferber method which is a great book to read. You put them down awake at night and check in on them in increments, wait 3 min, then 5, then 10 until they fall asleep. We were so scared to do it but he fell asleep after 25 minutes of crying the first night and 2 minutes the second. It was hard but it’s Amazing how fast he has learned. He still has a few night wakings but now he can put himself back to sleep. We worked with a sleep training consultant and The key is to be consistent. I’m not sure how long Molly is crying for but She said she hasn’t seen a baby cry more than 2 hours, which don’t get me wrong, is a crazy long time but it’s doable and they usually learn within 3-5 days. I’m here if you would like to ask any other questions. Precious to his week our son was waking up every 45mon to an hour and would only go back to sleep if we picked him up and rocked him. Often time he wouldn’t even let put him back down. This sleep training has been a godsend for my husband and I. Good luck!
Do you do this every time your baby wakes up at night? Or do you ever feed him in middle of night?
Yes. You would repeat that process if she wakes again later on. I think babies Molly’s age can do just a few feedings a night so if it hasn’t been a few hours, repeat the process. If it has been a few hours, by all means, feed her and put her back down. I don’t know what Molly’s weight gain is like, but perhaps chat with your doctor to see if she can go down to one feeding or maybe even get through the night without feedings.
I cant say enough good things about Moms On Call. Sumilar to Baby Wise but a much easier read to follow and not as strict. Depending on location, they also have certified nurses who will come to your house and walk you through everything!!! In addition they have tons of web videos, tutorials, etc. it was life changing for us and both our kids were sleeping through the night at 4 months old!
Ok so I got moms on call and started reading it. So do I leave her in her crib ALL NIGHT LONG? And not go in to fee her even once? That seems extreme to go cold turkey like that. Unless I need to read more of the book to understand. I haven’t finished it yet
Ali–I just did a modified sleep training. My son was up and breastfeeding every 2 hours so I felt too nervous to go cold turkey on night feedings. What I did was use Ferber method. For night one we followed accordingly and did a minimum of 2 hours to feed. So we still did cry it out with check ins and then if he woke up 2 hours or later I would feed him and put him back down and continue with the recommended check ins. Each night I increased by 30 mins. So for example next night I would follow the check in guidelines and wouldn’t feed him unless it had been 2.5 hours and so on. We are on night 6 of it and so far so good!!! He has adjusted so well and either sleeps through the night or wakes one time–typically after 7-9 hours. And goes back down so easily now! It seriously is amazing how well it’s been working. I definitely recommend it!
MOC was our lifesaver!!!! I’m like their walking advertisement haha! We followed it to the T and it got my son sleeping through at 6 weeks. It was the healthiest thing we could have done for our son. We also became very confident in our parenting through it all! I also had the unlimited email correspondence with the authors, so anytime I had an issue, I would email Laura….she would tell me *exactly* what to do and it worked. every. single. time. like. magic.
the sleep easy solution is the best book! We had a great routine for naps so I didn’t follow that part of the book but we did do the night portion. It is basically a gentle version of “cry it out”. Once he slept through the night, I felt like I could be a more attentive parent. Here’s a link to the book! https://www.amazon.com/Sleepeasy-Solution-Exhausted-Parents-Getting/dp/0757305601
Hi Ali,
We didn’t do cry it out but controlled crying. I put my daughter down, stroked her head then said goodnight. I would then wait 1 minute (used a stop watch) then I would go in and stroke her head and say “shhh” then leave the room. Then I waited 2 minutes, 4 minutes, 8 minutes and then more often than not she would gradually fall asleep. This was when she was in her own room however. I hope this helps babe!
Ali, if you want to do a version of CIO with interval check-ins, read the Sleepy Easy Solution! It’s a quick read and a super easy strategy. It’s so easy that I couldn’t believe it worked. They say you can start using this method at night once your baby is 4 months old and 14 pounds. Also, when you’re ready to night-wean later, they have a super helpful guide to that as well. All of my friends that I’ve recommended it to have loved it and it has worked for each of them. Good luck! You’re doing great! This too shall pass…
Do you think she’s napping too much during the day? Just had my four month check up and my little one doesn’t nap well but sleeps all night and the doctor said he may not need as much sleep during the day because he gets so much at night. I know most of these books say napping leads to better sleep at night but that may not always be the case. Could be worth a try keeping her up a little longer.
Cry it out means you don’t come to her at all when she cries. It could take an hour or two but eventually she will drift on to sleep. It is so hard not to go to them but my doctor promised me it would only take 3-4 nights. It took 2 and our baby never woke up again unless something was really wrong and of course we went to him then.
I would suggest training her now?with limited cry it out. Go in every 10 minutes and soothe her. Don’t pick her up, just sing to her or pat her back. Sometimes I would do that for five minutes…he would scream for another ten and then I was back in there but after a very long 4 days he was golden and learned to fall asleep. Since 6 months he has been sleeping for 12-14 hours straight. With the hand full of teething occasions or being sick. It’s painful and I cried because I felt like it wasn’t going to work but it did one day and I might have cried again because it finally worked lol good luck! Just keep in mind you are doing her a favor by helping her get a great nights sleep and you too!
Hey, a thought in the cry it our method. It has been awhile for me. It I did a combination of 2 books. I think we ended up doing something we felt comfortable with. We would let her cry it out 2 min then 3 min then 5 min etc. I don’t remember what the book says to do but I did something that worked for me. I stuck to it, really commited (only shushing them and rubbing their head, no picking up in between) and I think it only took 2 or 3 days. I never got to het having to cry 10 min. Really find something that in your gut fits you AND Molly (different things work better for different baby personalities) and commit to it, then it WILL work. Good luck!
Hi Ali,
I have two girls, one 5 1/2 (Emma) and my younger one (Belle) is 18 mos old. Emma was a great sleeper and seemed to naturally progress to sleeping all night on her own – by 3 mos was sleeping through the night. Belle was completely a different story – didn’t sleep through until 14 mos when we stopped breastfeeding! I think a lot of it was waking to comfort nurse and I let her but this meant no sleep for us for over a year. In hindsight I think weaning the night feedings could have helped but I enjoyed nursing her. She went through many sleep regressions as well, it seemed like anytime she was learning a new skill (rolling, crawling etc) she would wake in the night to “practice”! Cute but also exhausting! Anyway, I always just followed what felt natural to me, and for me it was being there for her even if it meant no sleep for me. All babies learn how to be great sleepers. Belle was a serial cat napper, even her naps were 45 mins max. But now
She sleeps solid 10 hours at night and gets a good 2h nap in during the day. One of the most memorable things I read was about how you will never regret being there for you little one – even if you’re exhausted and just wanna sleep longer than 3h for a change, all the times you’re there for Molly is time you are spending with her. she is so loved and will be/ is secure. Hang in there because it does get better! And just go with your heart! Time goes so fast and these moments are so precious! Take care!!
I agree so much! Our son slept in our room until 6m (and by slept in our room I mean really didn’t sleep) – we read a book by Kim west and our lives changed. We moved him out of our room and he slept 6+ hours the first night and now sleeps from 7:30-5 every night. He was literally up EVERY hour before we moved him and as HARD as it was, it was honestly the best thing we did!!! Good luck lady! Hang in there! This season of life is HARD! You’re doing a wonderful job!
Hang in there mama! I have a six month old girl & feel like we are in the exact same place with sleep. Recently it feels like my little one slept better at two months than she is now, which is so frustrating. So I can relate. You aren’t alone! I wish I had the answers for you, for us. Just keep reminding yourself, “this too shall pass” & “the days are long but the years are short”. You are doing an amazing job. Thanks for doing a post about this & keeping us moms united! XOXO
I am so with you! Molly slept for 5-8 hours when she was 2 months old and now I would do anything for even 4 hours!
4 month olds are doing a lot of things developmentally, learning to roll, taking in a lot more around them which often messes with their sleep as well!
I feel your pain. My daughter is 8 weeks old tomorrow and has not slept more than 10 hours in a 24 hour period since we brought her home. She refuses naps most of the day and if she takes one it is only 20 minutes or less. She is a fussy overtired mess by 2pm. Woke up at 645 yesterday and only napped 65 minutes total before finally sleeping at 10pm. I don’t know how I’m going to survive being back at work after thanksgiving with this sleep struggle.
Doing a limited cry it out method really helped us get Molly to nap! I highly recommend trying it! Now we just need to do it at night (once she’s in her crib)
When did you start doing the limited cry it out for naps? My daughter will be 10 weeks old Friday and she is only naps on me. As soon as you lay her down she wakes up. I can’t get anything done because she is always in my arms. I go back to work soon and really want her napping better by then!
Where can I read up on the limited cry it out method? Willing to try anything!
The Sleep Easy Soltution. Awesome book.
I think Molly might be going through the 4 month sleep regression lots of moms talk about. My 3 yr old son never really went through it, but apparently most babies do. Do you have the Wonder Weeks app? It helps me with my 3 month old.
I have the app. It seems to be a little off for me. And you are SO lucky your son didn’t go through the regression!
A friend recommended the book ‘Mom’s on Call’ and it has been wonderful! The schedule is a little rigid at first, but after following it just for a few days our 9 week baby girl slept through the night and now at 13 weeks she consistently sleeps 10 hours! We also have let up on some of the rigidness of naps/playing and just do the feeding part and it still works great! It’s a quick, easy read that I highly recommend!!
Yes it’s the best!!!
Does it work for Breastfeeding moms too? Some books I’ve read suggest measuring how much she eats are night and limiting it each time. But I can’t measure what she eats because I breastfeed her. Let me know! I have SO many books, that I want to avoid getting another if possible.
I meant to say that I want to avoid getting a book that I can’t follow. If this book works for breastfeeding moms then of course I’ll get it!
Yes!! It is for BF maybe moms and bottle fed and formula feed. It’s a great guide line! We used it for out little one who is 5 months now and is sleeping through the night. Hang in there!! It will get better! 🙂
I exclusively BF my almost 5 month old and I use this app. With my daughter I did babywise but it didn’t work for my son. I went through a HORRIBLE sleep regression with him a few weeks ago and it sounds like exactly what you are going through right now. He would do the 45 min naps and wake up every other hour at night and he wouldn’t be hungry. It sucked and I was a zombie. He was just learning so many new things. In the last few weeks he rolls both ways, holds his head up so well, tries to sit. Now he sleeps on his belly in his own room and sleeps 12 hours! Hang in there…it gets better.
I have an 11 month old who would wake me up every 2-3 hours at night since she was 4 months and because I exclusively breastfed her I thought she was hungry too. But she just wanted me for comfort as she would only eat for like 2-3 mins so I stopped offering her the breast.This went on for about a month until my husband had enough. So he would get up and rock her to sleep and then put her in her crib. If she would wake up again she would get daddy instead of mommy and she would cry in his arms but would eventually go back to sleep. And he would place her in her crib as well. We had to move her out of our bedroom. It probably took a month before she finally stopped that pattern. We also didn’t turn on any lights or talked to her at all. Except for humming sounds to soothe her. It wasn’t easy because it would break my heart to hear her cry but It had to be done. At 10 months she would still wake up only ONCE around midnight and I would pick her up and rock her to sleep in my arms and then she would go back to sleep. But then after a while I wouldn’t pick her up I would just pat her bottom or back as she would cry and she would put herself to sleep. It wasn’t easy. And I too felt I’d never get my sleep back again. And now finally at 11 months she sleeps through the entire night! And feeds around 5:30-6am and back to sleep. I live in the LA county area and its starting to get chilly at night… so we figured out our baby was getting cold at night so I started bundling her in a onesie and pjs and then a sleep sack. Im against crib bumpers but I bought her a breathable one to see if it would help keep the cold air out at night and it has helped. It has been heaven for me for the last 2 weeks. I even wake up around 3am in a panic wondering if she’s going to cry any minute.
You could also not have her nap in the same bassinet as you put her to sleep in for the night so she follows the pattern?
I had a rock n sleep that I’d put her to nap in. Now that she’s older I let her nap in the playpen with natural light so she won’t sleep too long. She takes 2-3 30 min naps through out the day.
You should try offering your breast at bedtime over the bottle and see if that works? maybe she would only feed as much as she wants because some nights she might be more or less hungry at bedtime.
P.S.
We created a bedtime routine for her. Bath time(most nights), teeth brushing(sing a song),pj time(sing a song), read a book or two, goodnight kisses and then last breastfeeding.
I hope this helps. Hang in there! You’re doing great! Love your snaps too!
in terms of breat feeding, I counted, literally counted the seconds. he was down to one feeding a night at this point and I kept reducing how long he ate from 3 minutes to 10 seconds a little more every few days. then we cut him off cold turkey.
I tried doing this per another book I read. But if I took Molly off the breast before she was done she would scream! Did this happen to you?
Yes it works for BF moms! I was a BF mom and this book HUGELY saved by sanity. Such an easy read with so much practical, easy to follow advice. It helped me with setting up a routine for the day so that my daughter would know what to expect and so that I could actually start to schedule things around her naps/feeding times. In terms of the sleep guidelines, I followed them for naps and bedtime, however, I didn’t let our daughter fully CIO until she was 5.5 months. It was just too hard for me to let her/hear her CIO when she was swaddled and didn’t have her hands to help self soothe. So we did CIO after she came out of the swaddle and in her own room/crib. Took 2 nights and she has been an amazing sleeper since. She’s had a few small regressions at the typical “regression ages” and my advice for that is to do the best you can to survive and get through it. After 2-3 days of the regression (in my case) she always went right back to her amazing sleep patterns. One more thing (I’m so sorry for this long-winded response), our daughter started to rollover around 4-5 months and I noticed one night on the monitor that she had rolled onto her belly. Of course I freaked out and went in to put her back on her back….pretty much every hour that night as she consistently was rolling to sleep on her belly. After extensive Googling and discussing with our pedi, I was told that is she has able to roll back and forth and is able to hold her head up it is okay to let her sleep on her belly. What a world of difference….she slept SO much better from that point forward. Knowing that you have the Owlet will also give you huge peace of mind too.
Yes it works for both, breastfed and formula fed or even combined! Also, to answer the question about going cold turkey, start with the section Molly is currently functioning at and then progress. It tAlks about how to get the night feeding to be delayed and then eventually cut it out altogether 🙂 Hopefully it helps!!
Please please please look at the book Moms On Call. It’s a very gentle method of sleep training that you advance as you’re ready. We have been doing to since birth and my 5 month old has been sleeping through the night 10-12 hrs for two months. He had a few hiccups with teething and a cold (during the dreaded 4 month regression mind you) but overall he sleeps like a dream. Naps and all ☺️
I think you are right about your sweet girl being in the same room, the book actually says that because they can smell mama. So it may be time to move her out of the room so you can both get some sleep. Good luck!!
See what I commented above about getting this book (and being a breastfeeding mom) and let me know what you think!
I breastfeed exclusively and use this book. It is a bit rigid at first and you are already following it by doing a nighttime bottle. They recommend a modified cry it out as well. It has been a lifesaver for us!
I also agree with the first comment of following BabyWise. I think our key to making it work was not being as struck as the book makes it. My daughter is 14 months old and she does amazing now with 11 hours of sleep a night… of. Purse it wasn’t always that way. We struggled hard. But really nailing down a schedule helped a ton. Also, her nighttime sleep sounds just like yours when she was that age. I had to finally just do full on cry it out because i found that if I went in there it only made her worse because I heard not to pick them up. I just patted on the butt and got her to relax. Like I said, now she does wonderful for naps and nighttime sleep. Good luck! She’s beautiful!
I tried this method once before and it didn’t work cause she wasn’t napping. Now that she is napping well, I need to revisit this book. In fact, I’m going to go read it now!
Have you heard about or tried the Baby Merlin Magic Sleep Sack? My baby was born July 10, so she is very close in age to Molly. She loved being swaddled, but started to roll over so we tried to transition her out of the swaddle. She did not take to it very well, but a friend let me borrow her magic sleep suit and it is wonderful! Bonus: It looks HILARIOUS, so we have a good laugh every night when we put her to bed. The padding muffles her night-time movements so she doesn’t startle herself awake. It has totally been a game-changer! My friend said once her son was able to roll over in the sleep suit, it was time to stop wearing it. Her son was about a year old when that happened (she had a small and large size to let him continue until that point) and once she took it off, he didn’t have any sleep regression. I highly recommend it! My daughter is 12 lb and the small still has room to grow. Good luck! <3
Yes I have. She currently is sleeping/napping in the suit.
Hi Ali,
Have you looked at the Zipadee Zip? This worked well for my son at 5 months old. He had a hard time transitioning off the swaddle and this really helped. I’m also breastfeeding and from what I’ve read it is completely normal for them to eat 1-2 times a night at this age. I keep telling myself it will get better eventually! Hang in there!
There is an app with an associated book called the Wonder Weeks. It explains why babies cry when they do as they are growing and developing and helpful tips to get theough the rough times. I just downloaded the app recently and ordered the book and so far love the app.
I have the app and she is definitely in a “leap” right now. But it seems like she’s still fussy and not sleeping well even when she not in a leap according to the app. So I don’t find it very helpful yet. But glad it helps you!!!! That’s all that matters 🙂
I can’t emphasize enough how wonderful swaddleme swaddles and the Zipadee zip have saved my life. My son sleeps soooo much better in his swaddle and swing until he was 6 months and then transitioned to the Zipadee zip. I hope this helps!
Have you tried diffusing an essential oil? I use serenity from doTerra, but a lavender would work well also.
We put lavender on her feet at night.
I put serenity in my 17 month olds feet at night. He was having night terrors and it’s helped so much! I would try some different oils since Lavender doesn’t seem to be cutting it. Different oils affect each person differently. I hope you find something that works! It’s hard to feel like a human when you don’t get any sleep.
No judgements please. But my first daughter was a terrible sleeper. She hated to be swaddled and was up every hour for what seemed like an eternity. My mom finally told me to try putting her to sleep on her tummy. It wasn’t when she was new but I started doing it around the 3 month mark and our lives changed. She started sleeping really well in that position. You might give it a try – and like others said – because you have the owlet it would give you piece of mind. Plus she could still be in her bassinet. I know it feels like you’ll never sleep again but it does get better. I promise. Then you have one off nights like last night where my 4.5 and 2.5 year old ended up in our bed kicking me in the spleen all night. Haha good times. Good luck Ali. You are a great Mom
My baby had been sleeping on his belly since 2.5 mo. It just worked best for him and our family. He’s 4mo now and doing great. He loves it and sleeps so much better that way (:
my son was the same. it freaked me out to do it at night so we only did tummy naps till he was older. He’s 3 now and is still a total stomach sleeper.
Definitely try putting her on her belly. That is the only way my daughter will sleep. She is now 15 months and rolls all over the place through the night, but she always starts out on her belly. Sleep training didn’t work for us (actually, I never tried it! The thought of it troubled me) and she just recently started sleeping through the night. Molly is just in a stage and it will soon pass.
We didn’t sleep train until our baby was 9 months old but when we did we kind of created our own routine and now looking back I’m so glad we did! Our oldest daughter is 22 months old now and has been sleeping for 10-12 hours ever since we sleep trained.
We started with a bath, story time and feeding and then laid her down. When she starts crying, let her cry for 2-5 minutes, whatever you feel comfortable with. I could only handle 3 minutes lol. Then go in and pick her up kiss her and lay her right back down, and then repeat the process until she falls asleep. The first night it was a long 45 minutes of trips back in to pick her up and lay her back down but with in 4 nights she took less than 10 minutes to fall asleep! And she’s been a rockstar sleeper ever since!
I don’t know if that will work since Molly is quite a bit younger, but keep in mind for the future! For now, I say breastfeed as much as she wants, even if it is for comfort. If it soothes her and helps her relax it’s worth it! I breastfed my daughter laying down in bed, she would eat, cuddle and we’d both fall asleep. If you feel comfortable with it, it worked miracles for my family!
Good luck, hang in there! You will find sleep again, I promise!
She falls asleep at bedtime easily. She just wakes up a ton. Did you do this same method when she would wake up in the night?
Another thought on this (sorry just trying to help you) maybe she is too tired? Like somebody else mentioned above try an earlier bedtime?
Both of my boys are older now but my oldest one started sleeping through the night at 5 weeks and my youngest was at 6 weeks. Both of them were binky babies and I gave them their binky in the middle of the night at first – I did no stimulation – room was dark, very quiet and just softly gave them their binky’s. I can say my oldest we did do the cry it out method at first – if he was fed, dry, etc… then we just let him cry. My husband and I joked that we were listening to the crying baby CD tonight when he would start crying. I’m thinking that she’s just too close to you and can hear you since she’s in the same room. We tried having my youngest in the room with us because I nursed him but it didn’t work for long maybe a month. And then for us both to get our rest – he went to his own room. Do you sleep close by when she naps? What do you do differently? Maybe because you lay her down to nap and then are in another room – that’s why she sleeps more soundly? They do grow up so fast – my boys are 15 and 12 now – so enjoy them while they are young. You will miss this someday – I promise you!
We started a bedtime routine with my daughter at five weeks even when she had no idea what was going on. Bath, pjs, story, bottle, bed. She became so used to it that she goes down now (she’s 11 months) without a problem and stays asleep from 730pm to 5am. We also moved her into her crib at 5 weeks. It was the best thing for her and for us. We have our own space and she has hers. We have a monitor for peace of mind. I also found that once she was able to sleep on her belly (when she could turn herself over) she slept much better. So there’s hope! Hang in there!
I think moving her into her nursery might be the best option for us based on what everyone is writing. Thanks for sharing!
Don’t worry..you have mommy ears!! My kids are 8 and 4, sleep upstairs and I still wake up if I hear them. You have Owlet and parent hearing. You guys will be great! Maybe she hears mom and dad moving around and figures you want to play! 🙂
Hi Ali, congrats on your adorable little girl!! My advice is to put her in her own room. My daughter slept so much better once we moved her. Also its important to establish a routine…jammies, brush teeth, sing songs..same every night. I’m like you and hated the cry it out method, but we kind of did a little version. Go in every 10 minutes and no talking, no lights just rub her back for a few minutes and leave once she’s settled but not asleep. Hope that helps! The sleep struggle is the hardest part of being a parent but soon she’ll be a sleeping champ!!
Yeah moving her to her own room seems like the best option. We do have a bedtime routine and she falls asleep great at bedtime! She just wakes up a ton during the night.
I will try your method of going in her room (once we move her) every ten minutes to rub her back. I’m thinking we will start this at 5 months.
You are most likely in the 4 month sleep regression ? Totally sucks. My daughter did not sleep through the night until 18 months BUT she was a great mapper. We also Breastfed until 18 months so her sleep improved when she weened. Another thing I’ve read is that sleep training should wait until 1. I know it’s so hard because all you want to do is rest and it can get completely overwhelming and emotional. Your an amazing Mom. Go with your instincts
I know the AAP suggests having them be in your room til 6 months or a year but those babes smell you! My son is in his own room (7 months) and sleeps great most of the time. I have a video monitor and thanks to your code am ordering an owlet (belly sleeping stresses me out!!) when we vacation and he is in our room in a pack and play he is up ALL night! I swear they know you are there!! Maybe move her into her own room/crib and continue owelt and video monitor use? You need more sleep momma!! You are doing great though-there is no answer booklet for these crazy little love bugs we call our babies 🙂
So glad you are using the code to get the Owlet! You’ll love it!!! Molly hates being on her belly so I don’t think she would like to sleep that way, but we are definitely going to have to suck it up and move her into her room soon. But it’s going to be hard!
I know that the recommendation is 6 months but that is for a purposefully for SIDS. After 6 months the chances go down that’s why they say 6m to 1 year of age.
I would put her in her crib and try everything else. Your baby owlet will do the work for you in informing if her breathing becomes altered.
A sleep deprived mom can be dangerous to you both. Hopefully you get some rest soon!
A friend of mine has a babysitter come 3x a week for 4 hours while she’s home just so she can go to her bed and rest/sleep. She pumps some milk and such to help then she goes!
Best of luck!
This is almost certainly the famous “4 month sleep regression.” Happens to almost all babies at this age. Google it. I let both of my babies “Cry it out” when they hit this stage and it worked like a charm. The first night or two was horrible then after that they slept all night long (except for 1 or 2 feedings). My pediatrician recommended doing this, for the baby’s sake and ours. More sleep equals happier healthier babies and parents. When we decided to do the cry it out, we just laid her down at bedtime and let her cry herself to sleep. With both of my babies, they cried about an hour and a half before they finally fell asleep. Then, if they wake up in the night, you let them cry themselves back to sleep even if it takes an hour! You don’t go in. The whole point is teaching them to put themselves to sleep. I did have set times I would go in and feed (for example, I wouldn’t feed if she woke up before 1 am, but would feed after that, then wouldn’t feed until at least 3 hours after that feeding). Hope this helps. I am so glad I did it. My babies are amazing sleepers now, and it really only took about 2 nights of hell to get there.
I really think this is going to help us! Thank you! I think I’ll keep her in our room until 5 months and then try this!
Honestly I think she just knows you’re close by and doesn’t want to miss out on anything so she’ll cry so that she can be with you! My little one wasn’t self soothing at night until we did the modified cry it out method. He sleeps in his own crib in his nursery. I am also breastfeeding and like you, I give him a bottle before he goes to bed and nurse him after in case he’s still hungry. My little guy who’s the same age as Molly (7/6/16!) can sleep from 8pm-4/5am. I will say there are random nights now where he’ll still wake up around 2/3 and will want to eat but it’s a HUGE Improvement from where we were a month ago, where I wasn’t getting more than 3 hrs of sleep. Hope this helps! You’re doing great Ali! I love reading your blog.
Hi Ali! My son was born on July 6 so I’m pretty sure we have birthday twins. I just wanted to chime in especially on the co-sleeping/room sharing vs the crib. My son used to sleep in an arms reach co sleeper for half the night, then in bed with me after his first wake up, and my husband slept on the couch. It was working, but it wasn’t working. I was exhausted. My son was up every couple hours, usually with gas (another issue) and sometimes without. Just last week Thursday, I asked my husband to do night duty for me so I could sleep. I prepared a small bottle and headed to the guest room. Baby was in co-sleeper and husband was in bed. He slept 8-3:45!! My husband changed his diaper, fed him, and got him back down till 6am! I couldn’t believe it. Since then, we decided he was ready for his crib. I do believe he can smell me and wants to nurse more. Even when I know he’s not hungry. On Monday night, he slept 8-3:20 then 3:30-6:20 all by himself in his crib. It was absolutely amazing. He’s been doing so much better in there. Everyone is getting better sleep! I thought I wanted him in my room for 6-12 mo but I think he’s really ready to be on his own in a dark room with a sound machine and humidifier. He loves it. Maybe worth a shot for you guys? And don’t give up. She’s come around and sleep more. Hang in there mama!
The first step that you just have to do is get her out of your room. It was the best decision we ever made it changed our daughters sleep completely! . Put her in her crib in her room I don’t care if you sleep outside the door she has to be in her room by herself. My daughter could smell me and just want me to hold her all night. Second is to get the baby shusher app It helped our daughter learn to self soothe. We would plug one of phones up in her room and let the app play all night long so if she woke up it would help calm her back down. And I’m not sure if you do bottles at all but mix some rice cereal with ur breast milk as her last bottle before she goes to bed it help her sleep longer she will feel fuller. She’s plenty old enough for a little rice cereal in the bottle just cut the nipple a little bit!
Hang in there!!! It gets better (even if it takes awhile), I promise. We moved our son into his nursery at 4 months for exactly the reason you are talking about. The four month sleep regression is one of the hardest things we dealt with. Our son went from waking every 3-4 hours to every 45 minutes. I am convinced that being in our room was contributing to the wakeups because he would see and smell me and then want to nurse just for comfort. Once we moved him, we found that he would stretch out his night wake-ups to only every few hours instead of every hour. I honestly gave in because I just could not handle the crying and “nursed” him every wake up until close to a year. I use quotation marks because he rarely ate. When I had finally had enough around a year old (and after a stern conversation with our pediatrician), we committed to a full cry-it-out method – which I had been so against before we did it. We are all finally sleeping. But the road here has not been an easy one. I wish I could tell you there is some magical answer but that’s the tough think about parenting: there just isn’t. You just have to do what feels right for you guys. So maybe you try moving her to her room and if it doesn’t work, then you try again in a few weeks. Or you start with naps in her room and then work up to nights after she is comfortable in the nursery. No judgment. No pressure. Just one day at a time. In the meantime, hang in there and try to remind yourself you will survive this stage!
My two suggestions are: Pacifier/binkie (by far the best thing I did with baby #2! Babies need/want to suck. It is very soothing to them.
After 3 months, started very small amt and slowly, cereal!
Tried everything else and nothing worked except these!
definitely put her in her own room. I firmly believe that babies do not know how to self soothe when they are first born and unfortunately the only way they learn is by crying it out some. I was literally in the fetal position crying myself when we did cry it out but he was tired, we were tired, he was napping all the time during the day that we decided it was time. we got him down to 1 feeding in the middle of the night and that seemed doable until 6 months. then we reduced the amount he ate breastfeeding and then cut him off. the first night was HORRIBLE I felt like the worst parent ever. the second night was a little better and the third night was only a whimper and then he slept all night. he finally learned how to self soothe and get in a new habit of sleeping all night and how to put himself back to sleep. it’s so hard but then we all had energy again to play more, he was more alert during the day to learn new things and everyone was so much happier. it’s hard and I understand every parent has to make their own decisions. keep your chin up, you WILL sleep again!
How long would you let him CIO? Over an hour? I’ve tired this once and she cried for over an hour. I had to pick her up at that point. Maybe she was really hungry? I don’t know! It there a time limit for how long you let the baby CIO?
Our doctor suggested moving her to her own room around 3 months when she wasn’t sleeping well. What a difference it made! The crib mattress was so much more comfortable and she had more space compared to the bassinet. They are so smart..they smell you and know you are around. I of course slept on the floor next to her the first few nights and always popped in to check on her, but it really was a lifesaver for us. Since 3 months she’s slept fully through the night (except with the occasional cold or sickness)
You got this, momma. Remember that and give yourself and Molly some grace to be tired and grumpy. You’ll both figure it out! With that said, I get the necessity for sleep. Swaddling is/was HUGE for us. We used the velcro ones that I could be sure my boys were swaddled snuggly and I didn’t have to worry would come undone in the middle of the night and be unsafe. Once they started rolling over, we switched to the Zipadee-Zip (www.sleepingbaby.com) and it’s been AMAZING! It allows hands and feet to wiggle, but is snug enough to keep them from startling themselves. Magic. At $40, it’s not inexpensive, but we’re still using it 7 months later and he can stand and walk his crib in it. Do you use white noise? This helps!! And, I know how much you love your fur baby Owen, but he may be the culprit! We kept our babies in their crib in our rooms for 5-6 months (and I would have longer for my peace of mind!), but our 2 dogs also slept in our room and we realized that they would get up and shake, scratch or go get a drink of water at odd hours and it woke up the baby every.single.time. even when it didnt wake us. So, we moved baby to his room and with white noise and the Zipadee-Zip, he slept 9 hours. Magic. Within a few days, he was sleeping 12 hours. It took a couple days for me not to pop up and stare at the monitor everytime I heard a squeak, but I relaxed and he did just fine. Even with 2 babies now (3 yrs and 14 months), I still worry, but it turns out a little independencell was what we both needed!
I have a 3 month old, but we hit our sleep regression last week – so I decided it was time to get on a schedule! I started out with strict times that we did things using the E (eat) A (activity) S (sleep) Y (you time) method…. then I was stressing myself out over not doing things exactly when I was supposed to… so I continued using the EASY approach, but let my baby make her own schedule! We wake up and eat, play for a couple hours (or until she gets fussy), then I lay her down for a nap and I get some time to myself while she sleeps! She was really bad about cat napping until we started doing this, so now I just stick the passy back in her mouth and let her sooth herself back to sleep. The swaddle works great too if she just won’t go back down! I love my HALO sleep sacks!! She seems to be getting into a routine now, which has made things much better for us! She typically wakes up once or twice at night, and if she wants to play, I play with her for 15 minutes or so to tire her and usually she will go back down. Nothing is ever perfect, but this seems to be working well for us so far!! Good luck and hopefully we will both be sleeping through the night before too long 🙂
Hi Ali, first off, let me say, all babies are different and YOU alone know what is best for your little one. So feel confident in whatever your gut tells you about when to transition to the crib, etc.
I didn’t read all the comments so forgive me if I am repeating. My kids are 7,11, & 13. My single most important baby item that was essential for sleep was my sound machine. I read that inside the womb, the sounds of the mother’s body are equivalent to you standing beside a moving train (don’t slay me if this is wrong but that is what I read, and clung to) so I ALWAYS put my sound machine close to the babies’ cribs and turned that thing up (reasonably of course, but louder than just the soothing background). I used the ‘static’ mode so it sounds awful but it truly WORKS!! My kids slept anywhere all throughout their baby, toddler years because of this machine. It cuts all background noise. (Conair was the brand we used).
Lastly, a good nap schedule during the day (not too much, not too little, but scheduled times and scheduled lengths) may help to set her little internal clock better.
Good Luck – I sure do miss those baby moments so ENJOY!!!
Jennifer, Florida
You could try infant chiro – since we started our girl has been sleeping great (not sure if it actually has to do with that) unfortunately we were going to treat her reflux which has not improved at all! Ya win some and lose some right?!
Also our family doc suggested moving her to her own room for the exact reason she can smell me and likely wakes up just for comfort (this was at her 2 month check when she was still waking every 1-3 hours) she will be 3months on the 21st and she now wakes once or twice usually doing a 4-6 hour patch then a 2-3 which is glorious!
We use essential oil (highly recommend for sleep) doterra or young living are the brands I would recommend. A tiny bit of lavender on the bottom of her feet with bedtime routine then cover up with pjs or socks! Doterra also has one called serenity that has been working great for calming (also goes on the feet) we took her to her first NHL game last weekend and used that prior and she slept the whole time!
We also let her do her long nap of the day in her crib!
Hope some of this helps 🙂
I feel ya on the no sleep – those patches are rough!
I totally agree with the infant chiropractor suggestion!! It was life changing for us!!
Hi there
My sister in. Law had the same problems with the sleeping! She actually googled and found an Amazing sleep consultant they will work with you for a week straight! You can start as young as 4 months! I was like a sleep what? My kids are 18 and 15 so never heard of this! Well I will tell you after day 3 it worked she slept threw the night with 2 naps a day! You must be consistent no plans for that week basically! Her daughter was waking up allllll night long till 7 months old when she had enough! She is over a year and on the same schedule she has always been since then! She can still contact the consultant for any questions she might have! Her girl is in daycare and the daycare follows the same schedule my sister in law does! The consultant did say co-sleeping is tough cause baby does smell you milk!
I hope this helps, take care!
First of all, you are doing a great job! I myself am a brand new first time mom to Leo, he will be 11 weeks old this Friday. And last night, he slept through the night for the very first time ever!!! I felt so compelled to write you bc I know you have been struggling with sleep also, which is why I stopped by your blog today, only to find this post, so the timing is perfect 🙂
The first two months were definitely the hardest of my life – I wondered if Leo was ever going to take a nap, sleep, or let me even put him down long enough to brush my teeth. I tried everything, read multiple books, asked every mom I knew their secrets. Finally on separate occasions I had two different girlfriends recommend Gerber Soothe Drops – they both swore by them and said it changed their babies completely. When my aunt (who is a nurse at a pediatrician’s office) also suggested I try them out, I ran to Walgreens and picked them up that day.
I exclusively breastfeed but we give Leo a bottle of breastmilk for his “dream feed” so I added the drops to the bottle. That night, he slept from 11 until 4am. He did wake in the night, but I was able to offer a pacifier and he went back to sleep. That was definitely the best night’s sleep either of us had had since his birth. So I made the drops part of his nightly routine, and kept seeing the same results.
Two weeks later, and Leo’s first full night of sleep without waking up at all, and I feel like a BRAND NEW WOMAN so I had to share with you! 🙂
The drops are quite pricey; its a tiny little bottle for about $30 — the bottle should last just about one month….but I am now a believer! The instructions do say it can take a few days to see any results so don’t lose hope if you don’t see results the first night! They are a probiotic drop and I think that is a lot of the reason Leo was having trouble staying asleep – his belly was all out of sorts, he would wake up with gas pains and literally grunt for an hour and cry. But I believe the drops have helped to regulate all of that, allowing him to get the rest he needs. He now even takes naps during the day that have been up to 2 hours long!
Molly is absolutely adorable — you should be one proud momma!
Anyway, just wanted to share with you — wishing you the best of luck, keep up the great work, Ali!!!
I’m going to try these! Thank you!!!
Are these the drops you’re talking about? http://bit.ly/2f0UWqG
I’m not sure what the difference is between the two but these are the ones we have been using: http://amzn.to/2fXYNsZ
I’m sure either would work!
Ali ,
You’re going wonderful !! Have you considered alternating between breast milk and formula ? I breastfeed all day and then at night give her formula . She is fuller and sleeps longer at night . I was going through the same thing . I started alternating and it works wonders 🙂 Keep up the great work 🙂
A dear friend of mine who had twin girls recommended a book called MOMS ON CALL – I was desperate as my son was waking every hour. Her girls slept through the night by the simple instructions! It’s more of a baby care book with sample schedules based on age, I think the sleeping part is only 5 pages out of the whole book and it’s so easy! It tells you straight up what to do!
Every mom who I recommended it to, it worked. The first night of implementing the schedule, my son went from waking up every 1-1.5 hours to woke up ONCE at 2am! Then it stretched to 3am…4am..etc. I couldn’t believe and he was sleeping through within 2 weeks. I was shocked it worked so well, and it was easy.
Give it a try. Promise. The authors even provide additional services. I had the unlimited email correspondence, so anytime I had an issue, I would email the author, she would tell me specifically what to do and it worked. every. single. time. I had my own infant/toddler consultant at my fingertips ?
ok I HAVE to try this!
If you don’t want to get yet another book yet, try the Moms on Call app first! Our little guy is still exclusively BF and we applied the concepts loosely and he’s been sleeping from 7:45-7:15 since four months (with a brief regression in there when he was super pissed that he was out of the swaddle & sleep suit and couldn’t figure out how to self soothe so we had to do two days of Ferber which were terrible 🙁 but totally worked!). Sending you lots of luck!!!
YES to the app! We use it with our 5 month old and it has worked so, so well!
Yes, I waa trying to get to the end of the comments, but I stopped when I saw Moms on Call. I never comment on blogs, and I especially never give sleep advice because it’s so personal mom to mom. That said, she sounds like she knows you’re around snd knows you will get her. I PROMISE, GUARANTEE Moms on Call will work if you stick it out. I have used it for both my girls, snd every friend I know who uses it praises it (it’s a huge thing here in ATL). It’s harder to sleep train after 3 months, but it’s not impossible, and it seems like my friends who wait until 6 months and longer have the worst time because kids start developing habits. For someone who never comments, this is already too long, but please, please do yourself a favor and get these books. Sleep for you and baby is paramount. Teach her to love sleep, and it will be a gift to the three of you!!!
Reading the book Babywise has been life changing for us! I know you have said before it didn’t work for you, but I would give it another try. We finally are on an amazing feed-wake-sleep cycle and she is a much happier baby because of it! Now that she is consistently getting good naps during the day, she is also sleeping better at night! She is 3 months and sleeps in the rock n’ play next to our bed (another life saver…which I bought after reading your blog about it!) and consistently sleeps 9-10 hours every single night!!
I hope you can find some relief soon!!
So glad the rock n play is helping you!!! Maybe I need to start using it at night again. I’m going to try that tonight. Thank you!
Hey Ali! My daughter was born in mid-June, so I’ve loved reading your blog posts as we’ve shared similar experiences within the same time frame. My little one went through the “4 Month Sleep Regression,” too! Her biggest issue was that she had learned to roll over (from both sides) and instead of going back to sleep after walking up in the middle of the night, she would instead roll herself over and preferred to sleep on her tummy. Of course being a paranoid mom, I would feel the need to go roll her back over.. After talking to her pediatrician he recommended to leave her on her tummy (as long as the crib was completely clear.) He said that as long as I was laying her down to sleep on her back he didn’t reccomend flipping her if she rolled over. (Now I know that this advice is controversial, so I wouldn’t suggest it to any mamas without speaking to their own trusted doctor!) My little one sleeps on her tummy for 10-12 hours each night. (I will add that I purchased the Owlet using your discount code as soon as she as born and I use it every night to track her stats.)
Good luck to you and Molly! And as always, thanks for being so open and honest about your parenting experiences!
XO
This makes my heart so happy! I love that you love the Owlet as much as I do 🙂
Molly is in a sleep suit so she can’t roll over in it, but if she does roll over, I will talk to my doctor about letting her stay on her tummy! Thanks in advance!
Hi Ali! My baby girl is just about the same age is your precious baby. But hasn’t quite hit the regression yet, hoping we skip it but I hear most don’t skip ha! We are having trouble with nap time. I haven’t pressed it too hard since she is a good night sleeper though. Where do u have her sleep for naps? I hear it’s good to keep it the same. We had trouble with the baby wise way of things bc she normally sleeps after she eats. Do you use a sound machine? It’s a life savor for us. We use the Dohmn. It’s great.
Anyways I love your blog! You are a great mommy and hope the sleep get better soon!
Oh, and I forgot to mention, I was always a nervous wreck about SIDS. We didn’t have an Owlet , but I did get a Secure Beginnings breathable crib mattress and this helped with my worry and anxiety A TON. Because the “mattress” is essentially an open box with holes on the sides to create airflow with medical grade mesh stretched across the top (it’s much more complete and normal looking than I’m describing it), there cant ever by any trapped air that could cause suffocation like could happen with a traditional mattress. So if you’re worried about moving sweet Molly to her own room, between the Owlet and Secure Beginnings mattress, your worries should be reduced! That’s half the battle of parenthood!
You’re doing a great job & I promise, it does get easier. I don’t have experience with a baby not sleeping through the night because my son started at 2 months. Maybe try feeding her a little more at night? Or ask your ped if you can add cereal to her milk. I would keep her in your room still, but do what your momma gut says to do. Are you comfortable co-sleeping? Maybe get a Dock-A-Tot to put in your bed & see how that works? It’s definitely a game changer as far as sleeping goes.
First I will say that you will hate me because my now 9m old has slept through the night since she was 8 weeks old. From her first night in the hospital til she could roll over, I swaddled her when it was time to go to bed. I wanted her to know the difference between naps and bed time. Molly is a little old to start that now but I would suggest doing something just at night to let her know it’s bed time.
And we moved her from a bassinet in our room to her crib in her room right across the hall at about 4 months (when we stopped swaddling). I know it would be different if her room was across the house. And I can tell she sleeps better there. We travel a lot and I can tell a huge difference when we are in a hotel or our parent’s houses and she stays in a pack and play with us. I totally agree she can smell you and knows you’re there. And if you have the owlet I’m sure she will be fine. I learned early on that a momma’ sanity is worth A LOT!!!!
i would take her and put your hands under her arm pits and turn her clock wise complete around and see if that helps i did that to my second girl cause she would do the same has molly she had her days and nites mixed up
Everyone – I am so happy and crying tears of joy reading all you comments! The support on here is so beautiful!!! Moms helping moms! I love it! I can’t respond to every comment today (Molly is about to wake up forma nap and I’m on mom duty- though I will try to respond to everyone over the next 24 hours), but know I am reading EVERY single one and can’t thank you all enough! I LOVE YOU GUYS!
I definitely agree with all of the other moms and putting her in her own room! You may get a little LESS sleep the first couple of nights (wanting to check on her and such) but once you get used to it, you will definitely get MORE sleep! I have a 7 month old and I still wake up in the middle of the night and just go and check on her and look at how cute she is when she’s sleeping. (HAHA)
also – you may want to just stop offering your milk at night! Then she will hopefully learn that eating is for the day and sleeping is for the night. I think around the 3-4 month mark, we stopped offering bottles in the middle of the night (even if she did wake up) and waited until what we thought was an “acceptable hour” for her to have her morning bottle. At first it was after 4 am, and then gradually 5 am, and now its around 6 am. However, we were bottlefeeding so it was a little bit easier to make sure that she was getting everything she needs to grow during the day=)
Sounds like you are doing awesome though!!! Little Molly is adorable and I love seeing her posts. such a cutie!
Please don’t feel guilty about moving her to her own room- you both will sleep better! Especially if you have the Owelet… my son is 7.5 months and has slept in his own room almost his whole life (we had the owelet too, we didn’t have room for a bassinet in our room) you might be waking her up too!
http://kellymom.com/parenting/nighttime/newborn-sleep-a-discussion-with-elizabeth-pantley/
Read anything by Dr. James Mckenna, Elizabeth Pantley and Sara Ockwell Smith.
I personally don’t believe in letting our babies cry it out… definitely do some research about biologically normal infant sleep. We are the only culture who guilts mothers into moving their babies into a separate room and letting them cry. Not trying to judge, just want to put this out there, because I got all the same advice you are getting right now. Which is fine if that works for you and you are comfortable with it. But I want you to know that these frequent wake ups are normal and won’t last forever. Nurse her, respond to her, and keep her close. The nights are long, but the years are short.
Another good read: http://www.naturalchild.org/guest/claire_niala.html
I personally co sleep – at around 4-5 months my baby started waking up more frequently and I started going to bed with him at his first wake up. We started having the best sleep bc wake ups were so short – easy to nurse side lying! He eventually started sleeping longer stretches. You can do this!
You’re doing great momma!! My son (who’s 3 now) was a VERY difficult sleeper. He went through every sleep regression, so there were various periods where he woke up every hour (lucky me, this started at 4 months when I went back to work). It is SO exhausting. He also suffered from chronic ear infections, so all he wanted to do was breastfeed all the time. I realized early on that being a momma was one of the most physically exhausting things I’ve ever done.
I read every single sleep book. We sleep trained our son over and over, but between his ear infections and his persistent personality, it never really stuck. I was dead-set against co-sleeping early on (I was planning to be a baywise mama), but I learned that every kid is different. Some kids are adaptable and love being sleep trained… they just fall into the routine. My little guy was NOT one of those kids. Once I stopped trying to impose my schedule on him and followed his cues, things got so much easier for the wheels family.
When did so many rounds of sleep training throughout his first year, and none of them ever stuck. Eventually I started letting him sleep in our bed when he woke up in the middle of the night, and it changed everything. We all started getting so much more sleep. He just needed that comfort of being close to me. It’s not for everyone, but it’s what worked for us.
I have a couple of resources for you… have you heard of “Wonder Weeks”? It’s a book (and an app) that describes a child’s brain development over their first two years. Often big mental shifts will disrupt sleep, and it was SO helpful for me to know when it was coming (and to have an idea of how long it would last.
I also have a website that supports working moms and dads, and I offer my favorite resources on a variety of topics. I have an entire page dedicated to Sleep Solutions if you want to check it what worked best for me. Here’s the link:
http://www.WorkingParentResource.com/Sleep-Solutions
I have a six month old and he’s my first so I’m no expert but I thought I would add my experience. 🙂
First, you know your baby best. Follow your mommy instincts…they are real!
Second, I completely understand wanting her close if only for your own piece of mind. I was TERRIFIED of moving our little one to his crib. (We lost our first son so I had nightmares about losing him too.) I started by putting him in his crib for naps at four months. He got used to his crib and got used to him being in his crib. After he and I got used to that I started putting him in his crib at night. Then after his first night feeding I would put him back in our room. Many moms said that wasn’t helping, but it helped me sleep so I did. Slowly he started sleeping longer and staying in his crib longer. Now he is in his crib almost every night all night. Occasionally he will still wake up but usually he goes back to sleep with me just patting his back, not picking him up. If that doesn’t work, I sometimes rock him back to sleep and then put him back in his crib. It seems to be working.
Sorry that turned into quite the ramble! Hope you get some sleep soon! It’s tough!
Oh and we used the Gerber drops too!
These drops? http://bit.ly/2f0UWqG I want to make sure I get the right ones!
Those are the right drops! My pediatrician recommended them as well. I haven’t tried them yet because they are so pricey. My daughter is 11wks old and I’m having the opposite problem. She has always slept well at night, usually 7-8hrs-eat-then back to sleep for another 3hrs. Our problem is during the day, especially this last week! She will only nap if I’m holding her. I will hold her for a long time sound asleep and as soon as I put her down she cries. She has been gassy/colicky since birth. She does not like to play for long either…15min top. She cries (screams) a lot during the day and I know she needs more naps. Just yesterday, I had the day off and the entire day was a viscous cycle of crying, falling asleep on me, trying to lay her down, crying, falling asleep on me, trying…..you get my drift! I couldn’t believe the day was gone!
Theresa, just chiming in here – but my son had the same issue….I literally could not put him down during the day without him crying. He didn’t sleep great at night either. Almost as soon as we implemented the drops, we saw drastic improvements both for naps and at night! He now naps for 1.5 – 2 hours at a time and I can put him down awake and he will fall asleep on his own. I know they are pricey but in my opinion WELL worth it! You might ask your pediatrician if they have any samples they could provide you — our ped had them to hand out 🙂
I completely know how you feel! While at his 4 month check up, my sons pediatrician urged us to put him in his own room, that he was old enough. So after a lot of thought and sleepless nights we finally did it. It was the best thing we could have ever done. He still woke up 2-3 times a night to be fed, but we were all able to actually sleep without fearing each move we made would wake him up. It’s such a scary move though, to let them sleep in their own room, but it was so worth it. He’ll be 1 next week and still wakes up a few times a week, but he’s learning to sleep all night. Hang in there, mommy!
I highly recommend getting a dock a tot!!! It’s has made such a difference in both nap and night time. We also do a warm bath EVERY night right before bed but before feeding. If we miss a bath she is up playing allllll night. She knows that bath time happens right before bed and that her dock a tot is for sleeping. These two together have allowed her to go from waking every 2-3 hours to sleeping 9-12 straight!! Good luck!
We have one. Do you put it in bed with you and have your little one sleep in there? How do you suggest using it?
Ali, I had the same experience with our second boy and have tried so many tactics. Some were ok and some did nothing for us. However, the one thing we figured out was that constant sound worked like magic for him. We bought him a baby classical cd and had it replay whole night. He started sleeping up to 6 hours at a time until one day he slept through the whole night and the sleep pattern stayed that way for most part. Lana
My little girl is breastfed too and I knew that my smell was keeping her awake – she did the exact same things you are saying Molly is doing. Literally as soon as we moved her into her room, we ALL slept better. She slept so much better (less waking up to “talk”, move around, etc) and so did I because I wasn’t hearing every single coo and movement she made. We have a video monitor and can hear her from our room so I never worried about not waking up for her when she really needed me. The first night was hard on me (I didn’t want to be that far from my baby!) but she didn’t mind it at all and I was so happy to have sleep back! I definitely suggest trying that! The first night she slept in her own room, my little one slept 6 hours straight and has increased since and we’re up to 10+ straight now. Good luck mama!
Hey Ali,
I love your blog! More so for the baby blogs than the fashion stuff ? But ive been a huge fan of yours since your bachelor days! So glad to see you happy and with the right “one” ?
I became a mommy around the same time as you (9/2/16) and the best advice or tip I can give you is to put down the books, stop thinking so much, and GO WITH YOUR GUT. This is the best thing I ever did. No one knows Molly better than you. I truly believe babies sense their mothers/care takers energy. If you are anxious/stressed/nervous….she will be too. Even tho this is your first baby you know what she needs better than anyone! Don’t worry about the AAP or what your doctor says or google. You got this. Let Molly lead the way but remember no one can design her routine or schedule but you. Confidence!! ❤️❤️
-Lindsay I
I can relate to your story Ali. I got so frustrated because Sara didn’t sleep and was very fussy during the time she slept so worse. I could realy tell the difference in her behavior when she slept better during the nights.
We made the stransition to her own room quite early because I didn’t get sleep at all and was listening to what she was doing. It’s the mommy instinct that was setting in.
I think it works different with breastfed babies, because they have the breast as sleepassociation so it’s harder for them to learn how to fall asleep by themself.
I feel you in your search for answers.
I stuck to a patern: feed-cuddle-play-sleep and a routine for the night: dim the lights, give a bath or shower, feed, bedtime story or song and tuck her in. When she woke up I did the same as some other comments: sooth her en put her back. Sometimes I wanted to give up, but my husband pushed me to hold on to our system en after 2/3 weeks we could tell a difference. Now she’s 18 months and sleeps like “the book” says??
We’re also so glad we have a camera so we can tell what she doing in her own room. That also gives me a more comfort feeling to let her sleep on her own. We can record stuff as well and sometimes she plays in her bed and I laugh so hard about it that I want to see the footage when she is a bit older or show it to my husband.
Stick to your own feeling, you’re the only Molly experts❤️Best of luck to you guys
Hi Ali,
I know it is so hard I was in the same position just 1-2 years ago. My little guy was the same way, sleeping only 1-2 hours at a time, sometimes 45 minutes ?. I love seeing all the tips from moms on here and we tried ALL of that too, none of it worked (swaddle, essential oils etc.) To be honest he was our first and crying it out was out of the question, my hubby is a huge softie. We were incredibly sleep deprived for that first year. After his 1st birthday his sleep literally got worse ???. We hired a sleep consultant and it was literally the best money we ever spent. She catered to our parenting philosophies and was super helpful/supportive. We did a gentle method because that fit our personality best as well as our sons. I know Molly is still young but I think most will work with babies starting at 4 months. Our son was a new person after learning how to sleep!!! As were his parents ? Good luck and let me know if you want the info of who we worked with.
Did they just help you over the phone and email? Or come to your house?
It does sound like the 4 month sleep regression. I do think its time she sleeps some in her own room and crib. With the owliet and a good baby monitor you’ll have a better peace of mind. As she learns more about self soothing you will also learn with the help of them what’s a cry for my binkie and what’s a I need you cry. Living in a 1 bedroom apartment when my son was born he did sleep in our room mostly. We had a scooped bassinet that vibrated slightly and we have a pack and play with a bassinet. We also had his crib in the front room for him is also used, once he got older we worked it into the nighttime routine too. The start of the night is important where they fall alseep and where they wake up… You can put her in her crib at bedtime, when she wakes up later she can go with you and if you have the strength put her back in bed to sleep. It does get easier.
My son was bottle fed and at 4 months we started introduction of rice cereal. It filled up his tummy and he slept longer periods and thru the night. They say when you are weening a child from breastfeeding that sometimes mommy has to leave for the afternoon because the baby can smell when you are around. Might be true in the case of sharing the same room and being so close. Need some Daddy time.
My son is now 6 and sleeps mostly thru the night except for nightmares and potty time. I was a true believer of having rice cereal and also mixing it in the nighttime bottle. Please do not scold me it worked best for us and my pediatrician said to introduce solids at 4 months. My son was under weight until after he turned two.
I can also relate to asking for help from your support system to give you time to nap or just take a longer warm shower/bath. Mommy’s need rnr too or we break down as well and then we are no good for our family or our babies!! Give Daddy some bonding time or have Grammy come visit for a few hours… Yes mommy you can do this its hard but it gets easier! You need a bit of your time to sleep sound, shower, go run errands or go get some coffee!! She is always in good hands!!
I remember a night he was having a rough night and my husband wasn’t helping much at night because he worked and I felt bad. I had gotten back to sleep and I was laying on the floor of the living room and I just cried… It might have been about this same time! It does pass, it might be a test if wills but it does pass!! 🙂
Ali, how much does she sleep and eat throughout the day? My suggestion, let her take a morning nap…. 1.5-2 hours max and the same in afternoon….. Don’t let her sleep more than that…. Still at 4 months…. Try feeding her every 2-3 hours…… You will need to make sure she is nursing fully every 2-3 hours….. I mean don’t let her eat in between, she will adjust to it, if she is wanting to eat every hour she is not fully eating and is just snacking. So if u make her wait 2-3 hours she will fully drain you and be completely full after a day or so she will be use to it. If she is eating every 4 hours now she is,t consuming enough calories during the day to hold her through the night…. So increasing the feedings during the day will allow her body to rest at night…… Do u have a sound machine or a fan in ur room?? A white noise blocker will help her body relax and stay relaxed and asleep…… I agree with keeping her in ur room as long as she is still small enough and not squirmy if in a bassinet. Once she squirmy enough she may feel insecure in a bassinet if it moves. We moved our son to his crib at 4 months because he was moving too much in the bassinet and wasn’t comfortable. Unfortunantly I couldn’t fit a crib in my room So he had to go to his room ?. Good luck……
She eats every 3 hours during the day like clockwork and I do my best to make sure she is getting a very full tummy. And we give a bottle at night before bed to make sure she gets at least 5 oz of breast milk (sometimes more!) before bed. I think moving her to the crib might be our only option at this point.
Hi! When we went through the 4 month sleep regression the only thing that helped us was an early bedtime… super early. At this point I wasn’t ready for cry it out (although we eventually did at 5 months), my boy was in bed by 6pm. This way he wasn’t super overtired from the day. He still woke 2-3 times per night for a breastfeed but I could count on more than 3 hours of sleep at a time! We used a white noise machine, black out blinds and he was in his own crib as well. I know so many people have commented about crying it out methods so I’ll leave my comments on that to them. Good luck!
As a mom of 5 and a child care giver I highly recommend sleep training/self soothing also. I also breast fed all of mine. It’s so important to teach them to sooty themselves to sleep or you become a human paci all hours of the night. ?
I suggest she go in her own room. Get her a lovey ( small blanket, cloth diaper etc) use that same one every time you nurse her and use it to wipe he chin it your breast as it drips. Your wanting it to smell like you. As you nurse put it in her hand, this will become habit. When she lays down it always goes with her. ( sounds gross but don’t wash it for a few days at a time )
As far as sleep training goes at 4-5 months they should be able to go through the night without waking because of hunger so if they want to nurse it’s ususally to get back to sleep. I always go by the Super Nanny approach you can find her videos for different ages on you tube. Lay her down sleepy but still awake with her lovey, I use a noise machine ( rain, birds chirping) they have a white noise app on your phone also. She will get use to that same sound that means sleep time. You say “night night ” and walk out, if she cries you wait 3 min before going in, pat her back without talking to her and walk out again, now wait 5-6 min and repeat adding a couple minutes each time never picking her up or speaking to her. Once you get to 15 min you don’t go longer go in every 15 min. I promise you she will be sleep trained in 2-3 days! If you mess up at all it’s back to the beginning and it will be longer because your teaching her that you will give in.
I hope this helps you some. It’s like pure magic when you get it! ❤️
Cheri S.
Alabama
Hi Ali,
Briefly skimming through these comments, I will probably end up repeating a lot of the suggestions. But it really truly does get better! My son is going to be a year next month and he sleeps great through the night now. We started sleep training at 4 months with him in his own room. I read a handful of books and my husband and I just did a modified cry it out method. It was only 2 bad nights, if even. The first night he only cried for 45 min, but we went in there every so often to reassure him. So after 5 min, we went to just rub his head and back, then when he didn’t stop, we went in again after 10 min, increasing the time each time I went to the room. By day 3, he was asleep after only 5 minutes of crying. He would still wake up for night feedings between 1-2am, and as he got older, the night feedings became later and later, like 3-5am, and then eventually weaned himself off of it. He sleeps now from 830p-730am.
We also have the Owlet, among other things that give me peace of mind, such as a breathable mattress (he started rolling over and sleeping on his tummy on his own at 3-4 months, the one we have is Secure Beginnings, but there are others out there), and a video cam that I keep on all night so I can hear him in case he does cry. I’m a first time parent also, so I was a little paranoid, but all these things help me sleep better at night and I’m still using them even as he nears his 1st birthday. Good luck to you, parenting is a whole new world and so rewarding! You and Molly will find your own little groove and figure out what works best! Those sleepless nights will be a thing of the past…until they start teething or get sick…but that’s a whole ‘nother blog post I’m sure!
I haven’t read any of the other comments so please forgive if my advice is repetitive! My LO is 5 months (3 months adjusted/preemie) and she’s been sleeping through the night (13-14 hours straight) for 2 months. While I might just be lucky, I’ll share what worked for us! First of all, I read a few chapters of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child at the recommendation of all of my mom friends. This made me feel better about CIO and understanding why sleep is so important for babies. Second, I ditched the swaddle I swore by & started using Baby Merlin’s magic sleep suit (Amazon.com). I started the transition by having her do all of her daily naps in her crib in her room with room darkening shades and Dohm sound machine. After 3 weeks of daytime naps in her crib, I decided to take the plunge and let her sleep in there overnight (even though the AAP recommends against it) and that first night she slept TEN HOURS. I did not sleep 10 hours because I was up every hour checking on her but you get the idea! 🙂 Right now she sleeps 16-17 hours a day total with her day naps. I noticed the most helpful thing for getting her to cry less is to put her down before she gets overtired. In the beginning, the maximum time she could be asleep before hitting the panic button (read: screaming non stop) was 45 minutes! We’re up to about 1 HR 20 minutes of awake time but if I push her past that she cries and cries for no apparent reason(and by then she’s overtired and needs me to comfort her!) Another thing that helped is bottle feeding… I make sure she gets about 25-30oz between 7am & 7pm so I know she’s had enough to eat!
Hi Ali,
I know it feels like you will never sleep again….and you won’t (not like you are used to), you are a mom now, but you will find a new sleep normal that you can live with, I promise! My daughter just turned 10 and she still wakes me up a couple times a week. That being said, when she was 2 months old her dr recommended to me to move her into her own room so we could both sleep better – that helped a lot! turned into only waking up every 3 hours or so. I have always been a single mom, so I’m on call 24/7….so sleep……yeah, I needed serious help. The dr also reminded me that if my girl was soley breastfed (she was)…she would most likely wake throughout the night to feed faster than those babies who are not. Breast milk digests much faster than formula. Those breastfeeding mamma’s who’s kiddos sleep fabulous from the get go…I have nothing but serious envy for you! Anyway, I don’t know what your plan is for introducing solids to her, but my dr said 4-6 months was good if I felt good about it….I started with cereal mixed with breast milk for her last feeding of the night…it helped by a few hours. As every other mamma has said and you already know, this will not last forever…it’s just getting thru this phase without becoming a total zombie. But hey, you will be the best dressed zombie in Cali! Love your blog and your sweet family! Hang in there, you and Kevin are doing a great job.
I am a Grammy, and we went through this with our son. I would definitely put her in her own room, and I bet she is hungry. She looks awfully small, but that is between you and your doctor. Does she have any projectal vomiting? Our son did, and finally discovered he was allergic to all milks. We had to mix a synthetic milk for him to eat. He was losing so much weight, ended up in the hospital, and took everything from him, and started using the new formula. He started gaining weight, and did not have any milk until 2 1/2 years old. Also discovered a hiatal hernia, which many babies are born with this. That created acid. They prescribed a drop of something in his bottle. He became a much happier baby. I had one doctor tell me I had new mother syndrome. I know what you are going through. She is probably feeling your nervousness also. Have you tried swaddling her at night. So many young mothers find this to be very positive. Rub her tummy softly before you lay her down, or anytime you are holding her. This is soothing. She may need a little cereal, made really thin to satisfy her. Prayers for you and your family.
I highly suggest hiring Pam from weebeedreaming. She is a certified sleep consultant and she will work with you, she will help you come up with something that you and your husband are comfortable with as far as sleep training. She is wonderful.
I didn’t read all the comments but wanted to tell you that my daughter (she’s 6 now) never slept well when she had a big developmental milestone on the horizon. She was a great sleeper until it was time to learn something new. Then it would be a few days or a week of waking up at night to practice the new skill. It was cute— but exhausting! So when she learned to sit up and then crawl and then walk, I knew there would be a few days of no sleep. We’d be up half the night and she’d crawl around or practice standing, etc. So maybe all the talking is the milestone! Molly found her voice and wants to use it!
Lastly–google 4 month wakeful! Could also be it for her! hope you get some sleep soon. My 3 yr old still doesn’t sleep through the night, so I understand 😉
“Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child” changed everything for me!!!! Until 4 months old, my now 14 month old ?, would only nap when she was being held and sleeping through the night wasn’t happening either. I was very hesitant to try the cry it out method because I didn’t think I had the patience for it and I felt bad making her cry. But when she started not even wanting to nap in my arms I knew something had to change, because what had been working wasn’t anymore. So we did the modified CIO for naps and then extinction method (full blown CIO no response until crying stops?) at bed time. Don’t get me wrong, it was really hard to listen to her cry, but as her mom I got through it because I knew she desperately needed to be getting more sleep (and so did I) and nothing else had worked for her. I was doing it for her because I loved her and wanted what was best for her!! It also helped that she was in her own room (and Mollys nursery is stunning so she should love it in there)! Ultimately it was worth every moment of her crying because ever since we trained she has slept from 7pm-8am (so for 10 months now). My husband and I get so much more time to be together and we know our babe is getting the sleep she needs. I hope this helps. I’ve never commented on a blog before now, but I feel for you and just had to add my advice, even though so many here have shared the same thing! Molly is beautiful and has a great mom (and dad)! Sometimes it may not feel like it, but you are doing a great job! Don’t forget that!
Ali, do you bathe her nightly? My sister in-law had the same issue for the first 3+ months. As soon as she started bathing her daughter at night accompanied by a feeding, Baby Mikayla would sleep for much longer gaps of time of 7-10 hours. Baby Mikayla is now 6-1/2 months.
Just a thought. Good luck!
Ali,
We struggled with the same problem when Cooper was in our room. We did it for a month before I finally caved and put him in his own room. We have the Owlet and a video monitor, and that was the only reason I felt comfortable moving him. I sleep with the video monitor basically right on top of my face and even if he is awake and stirring, I am okay leaving him where he is because I can see him.
I let him cry it out after about a week of him getting comfortable in his crib. I promised myself I wouldn’t let him cry for more than 20 minutes and he never did. He was able to calm himself down and after those two nights he doesn’t wake up at all anymore.
We have the same pre-bed routine…a bath, lotion massage, a book, and a bottle, then he goes down groggy but still awake. We are now at a point where he sleeps 8-10 hours every night at 7 weeks old.
It’s not easy to separate OR let them cry, but I am SO grateful for our sleep now. He is becoming an independent sleeper and that will help us and him for years to come.
We also use the Nested Bean swaddle and it has been a game changer. I noticed a difference in his sleep right away.
First of all, you are doing a great job! My daughter and I both started sleeping better when I moved her into her own room at 4 months. She is 6 months now.
The facebook group Precious Little Sleep also has a ton of good advice.
my friend recommended trying this book :” The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep”. I have heard it works.
I already posted but I thought I should explain why she is so helpful. It’s very likely Molly is awake talking for 2 hours at night because she is over tired, it also explains why she wakes so often. Babies at certain ages can only handle being awake for so long before their bodies become completely exhausted and you start creating sleep debt. My son had an enormous amount of sleep debt that was taking a toll on him and I, Pam explained all of this to me and gave me a plan specifically designed to him. I hired her via FaceTime and email for 2 weeks and we were waking 2 times a night instead of 6 or more in less than a week. It’s very hard to explain but that’s what she is for!
Hi Ali! My daughter went through this too at 4 months. It was so awful. And I felt like because we had no sleep my husband and I started to argue more! I promise she will get past it. We moved our daughter out of our room at 4 months and it really made a difference. And if you have the Owlet that will hopefully really give you peace of mind. I would also recommend a good video monitor! We did something very similar with the limited crying it out. And if she was just fussy, I let her go a little longer. But if she was really worked up I wouldn’t let her go more than 10 min. I will warn you…this will likely happen again at a year. We are just getting over it now!! Sounds like you’re doing a great job. Love your blog. Your daughter is beautiful!
Not sure how old Molly is, but she looks to be close in age with my 5 month old. I was there in that boat with you a few weeks back, and it is tough. My mommy heart aches with yours! Once Charlotte turned 4 months, we introduced solid foods. I pack her full just before bed. I give her avocados, sweet potatoes, pears, and/or bananas pureed with breast milk. About 6pm, we feed her a serving of solids (roughly 1/4 cup), then put her to bed with a full feeding. (I began to pump for that feeding to monitor how much she was eating – we do 4 ounces). Her little belly is full, and she’s out like a light! She still wakes once to eat, but typically goes about 8 hours without waking. During her night feeding, I – again – do pumped milk, and I add in probiotic to help with digestion.
Molly will get there!
Hi Ali! So I’m not one to ever comment on blogs but your post took me back to my life with all 3 of my kids (now 14,10, and 6) when they were babies. I cried every night around 7 because I knew my night was just beginning! All 3 of my kids didn’t sleep through the night for the first year. Just when I would have one or two good nights of sleep (5 hour stretch!), they would start teething or catch a cold and I was back at no sleep! Exhausting! My only advice to you at the moment is to put that sweet little girl in her own room. Every noise they make, you hear. Every move they make, you hear. She will be fine in her own room 🙂 I am new to your blog but sound machines were my BFF’S! In fact 2 of my kids still use them! I wish you well…I promised myself I would never tell a new parent “this too shall pass” but I promise you it will! ?
Hi Ali,
I’m from Quebec City, Canada. If i follow correctly, Molly is near 5 months old.
Here, in Canada, we have some new research about nutrition and babies. Some doctors are suggesting to introduce real food earlier. Maybe she’s hungry for cereals. Very liquid ones at first. Have you tried this?
I’m Canadian too – The recommendation from Health Canada is actually to introduce solids at 6 months. And also states that first foods do not need to be cereals…
First off, you’re doing great mama! The days (and nights!) are long but the years are short.
I would definitely recommend moving her to her room. All of you will sleep SO much better. Just have your monitor right next to you for peace of mind. From one breast feeding mama to another, they can definitely smell you and want to have a snack! I would too if chick fil a was right beside me 😉
Next, I would suggest implementing Babywise! It helped give me so much structure and know what my baby needed! For instance, if he just woke up from a great nap and ate well and was upset… I would know it was his tummy or something else. I felt like with babywise I was able to communicate with my baby in a weird way. Also, helped the baby self soothe which is huge! Does sweet Molly take a pacifier? If she does, when she first wakes up in the night offer that a few times to try to stretch the feedings out. That will help a lot! Next, cry. it. out! Gooooodness it is so hard! Hurts my heart thinking of it but it’ll save yalls sanity! I couldn’t do extended cry it out, broke my heart just thinking of it. I did the Ferber Method. Simply put, you have them cry for a certain amount of time. Start out small, like 3 minutes. After 3 minutes go in, shhhh and pat but don’t pick up. Stay in for about a minute then leave. Now wait 5 minutes. Repeat! Keep extending the time and have a time limit MAX you’re comfortable with (I think mine was like 12 minutes) and keep going in at that time and don’t increase. Do this until it’s time to feed, they fall asleep, (or when you give in) haha! It took many nights to get this down. Once I was consistent I feel like it only took a couple of times of me going in. But it worked! My angel has been sleeping 12 hours since he was around 4-5 months old give or take some weird nights!!
Sorry this is so long, I hope it helps!
XOXO
Ali,
Because of you we bought the Owlet and we literally couldn’t live without it. Does Molly ever kick off at night? Our daughter is 3 months and lately she’s been wiggling so much it comes off. Other than that it’s fantastic.
Regarding sleep tips – I know they say to now keep the baby in your room for 6 months but the best thing we did was put out daughter in her crib. Once we did that she started sleeping longer and longer. She loves her crib! And having the Owlet had allowed us to sleep since she is not in the room with us.
Starting at around 4-5 months is a good time to start sleep training because if you put it off until they’re older, they are more mature and aware of their surroundings and it can sometimes take longer for them to get the hang of self-soothing. So now’s a good time! Is she can sleep well during the day, she’ll have an easier time at night. You have to learn their window of sleepiness, meaning how long they can stay awake during the day between naps. “Healthy Sleep Habits” discusses this. It says that babies at this age shouldn’t go longer than 2 hours between naps. Some babies can’t even go that long and it’s more like an hour or 90 minutes. At this age, though, they can go longer at night without eating and it’s just fine. You’ve got the right idea about having her in her own room. It will help her learn to be independent and she’ll sleep a bit better. I say, when she starts making sounds in the night, don’t go to her and see if she can fall back asleep on her own. What may work too is to have your man go in there to comfort her for a bit. If YOU do, she’ll smell your milk and will want to nurse. You could still nurse her once or twice at night, but the other times she’s waking, HE ought to go in and give her a little pat or a hug and then lay her back down and walk out the door and see if she can go back to sleep. She’ll get there! You’re a wonderful and loving Mommy and she’s so lucky to have you!
I agree with this! My baby never slept more than 3-4 hour stretches (often less than that) and then between 4-5.5 months he was waking EVERY DAMN HOUR. I work full time and I was about to lose my mind. I started dropping him off at daycare and then calling into work so Ic ould go home to sleep. I took him to the Dr because i thought something had to be wrong with him taht he would wake that often and the Dr said “QUIT GOING IN THERE.” He literally jsut told me quit doing it. This behavior of him crying is habitual. So we started the cry it out method. He would cry for 20-30 minutes (top of his lungs, awful crying) but then pass out. After 3 nights, problem solved. He is now 6.5 months and we have had no less than 9 hours of straight sleep! often more than that! I swear it’s totally worth it.
And I realize it’s the recommendation to keep her in your room but there’s no reason to have everyone sleep deprived. Get a monitor, everyone will be fine.
ps- my husband is a MD and i’m an attachment child therapist– and due to my attachment backround I was not fond of crying it out but frankly, everyone is happier (including baby) since we did it. I promise you, give it a try.
My daughter is 4 months old and we starting using ‘Moms on Call’ since she was about 2-3 weeks old. She has been sleeping 8-10 hours since she was about 6 weeks old! Obviously there has been a few nights here and there that haven’t been near as long. We have been fairly strict with keeping her on a schedule with feeding and definitely having a bathtime/bedtime routine at night every single night. I think that has also helped.
We moved my daughter into her nursery around 4 weeks because I couldn’t handle all her noises! I wasn’t getting any sleep but it is hard for me to sleep listening to the monitor now. I’ve just realized being a mother will never really allow you a great night sleep like it was before baby 🙂
You got this, mama!
Are you following the two hour rule throughout the day? Sleep begets sleep. Also, bed time should be early at night like 7pm. Same routine every night (ie. bath, pjs, stories, bed) Don’t rock to sleep. Get her out of your room as well. When she’s just babbling in the middle of the night do not go get her or go in her room. Hopefully it gets better.
I have a 6 month old and she has been sleeping in her room since she was 5 weeks bc she just was not getting any sleep in our room either in her pack and play. She has slept through the night all night long since she was 9 weeks old. She absolutely loves being in her room, in her bed, in the dark! We also, like you, have a great monitor we love as well! If you’re looking to transition we started putting her in her bed in her bedroom for naps to get her used to it and then started her at night about a week later. She was still getting up once to eat at this point and then we would put her back in our room for the other half of the night. Then the next week we kept her in there all night even after her feeding and she loved it! Hope this may help you some! But we all know every baby is different! Hope that sweet little one lets you get some rest soon!
Saw your snap – didn’t read all the comments but just know you’re not alone. Both of mine did this and while it is maddening it will end soon! Both of mine waited until 14 months to sleep fully through the night… hope you’re able to nap! You’re not alone and you can do this!
Every baby is different but she may need the space of a crib! My son is a little over 4 mos old and has been in his crib since 6 weeks old. Once we moved him he started sleeping better and thru the night! He has occasional nights where he wakes up but for the most part sleeps so good, sometimes 11 hours! His room is right by ours so I can hear him and have a video monitor I peek in on thru the night. You’d be amazed what space does for them! It’s tough moving them out of your room but it’s well worth it for you and for Molly! Also establishing a nightly routine can help too. Some babies easily fall into one and some don’t but give it a shot! I hope your sleep improves!!
Hi! This is off topic, but I’m wondering if you can comment on where you get Molly’s hair bows 🙂 I have a 4 month old daughter, and I would love to get her some!
Moving to her own room would probably help and since you have the monitor it should give you some peace of mind. Not gonna lie, the first couple times I tried to move my daughter to her own room, I missed her and moved her back for myself. Once she was moved to her own room we started letting her cry for a small period of time and then I would go in and give her a binky or rub her back, but Not pick her up. When she learned that she wouldn’t get picked up it only took a few nights and she slept for longer stretches. The key was to comfort her, so I knew she was okay, but not pick her up.
Sometimes I think we throw ourselves into too many books/options and overwhelm ourselves. I think it’s great to get ideas/reminders from them (books) but I also think we need to trust our instincts as well. Any option you chose is going to take some time. Results will be gradual, especially at this age. I think 4-6 months is the recommended sleep training age. I have 3 kids (4, 19months, 6weeks) all of them have been different but I must say transferring her to her own room is a great option, you can always do a trial (there are no rules) and if it’s too hard, move her back. I had to move my second, because he too was keeping me awake with his noises! I moved him at 3 months, and I’m not going to lie, it was hard! But you know what? It helped us 🙂 There are so many stages/changes that are hard and we will need to face them at one point or another. Trust that you are doing the best, we know you are and so does your Molly. Also, I’m not sure it was mentioned, but have you tried “dream feeding” you could use a bottle with some pumped milk and give it a try? I wish you the best and I hope you find something that works for you! (Also, I hope this comment is somewhat coherent, coming from a sleep-deprived momma of a 6 week old 😉 )
Sleep training needs to happen the younger they are the easier. I followed baby wise as have a few of my friends. We have to train our babies how to sleep. My daughter slept in her own room at 7 weeks old. 3 months she was sleeping 7-8 hours dream feed at 10pm or 11pm 5.5 months she slept 12 hours a night. It’s a lot of work but pays off and consistency is key
My little one is the same age as Molly! We went through the same thing! She started waking up every hour when we had to stop using the swaddle (because she was rolling over). A friend recommended he Merlins Magic Sleep suit and it has been a lifesaver! It helps so she doesn’t startle herself awake and keeps her on her back. Added bonus she looks like the most adorable Marshmellow in the puffy suit! We got ours in 2 days on Amazon
Break the rules. Let her sleep on her tummy in her bassinet next to you. We have an 11 week old and has been sleeping on her tummy since she was 5 weeks old. She has been sleeping anywhere from 10/11pm – 6/7am every night. We are working on getting her to bed around 8….she now sleeps from 8 – 1/2, feed, and then sleeps until 7:30 when I have to wake her.
At first we started with naps on her tummy, so I could watch her and make sure she was able to handle sleeping on her tummy. Literally would check on her ever 5 minutes at first. I notice throughout her naps she was able to move her head from side to side multiple times and thats when we moved to sleeping on our tummy at night. It was a game changer for us!
I agree with this! My daughter has been napping on her tummy since she was 3 weeks old. We have a video monitor so I would watch her but her BEST sleep is on her tummy!
Ali, you have received a lot of great advice from many Mothers……
At five months old transition Molly to her crib. And check with your Dr., my children always slept better on their stomach.
She may wake up one or two times during the 8 p.m.-5 a.m. stretch, when she needs your breastmilk. My grand daughter is almost 6 months old, and sleeps from 7:00 p.m. to 1:00 a.m. and then nurses and then from 2-5 sleeps. She also takes a long nap during the day.
My daughter is almost 9 months old. She was just like Molly until we moved her to her own room at 4 months. She started out in our room in a rock n play but to make the transition to her crib easier, I moved her to a pack n play in our room. When she finally moved to her crib at 4 months, I did a very gradual sleep training. Let her cry for 5 minutes, go in and soothe, 10 minutes, go in and soothe..and on and on in increments of 5 minutes. She usually passed out after the 15 minute cry. I was told to soothe any way you can *besides* picking them up (back scratching, singing, sushing) What also really helped was a lot of down time before bed. We do lots of books and rocking/singing lullabies before putting her down. We also have a floor fan and a sheep noise maker for white noise. One more thing, it seemed like she wasn’t a fan of a dark room. I open the blinds and use a nightlight. Stay strong!! I promise it gets easier!! Xoxo
I’m sorry you’re having so many sleep issues. My only recommendation is to transition her to her own room. I have a 7 month old little girl and once we moved her to her own room, we ALL slept better. We didn’t wake each other up with movements, sounds, etc. and she quickly learned to put herself back to sleep when she woke up. I do think babies can smell their Mom’s and I also think when they wake up and can see their parents, they want that comfort and will cry for it. We have the owlet too and that made the transition to her room so much easier because we knew she was ok! Good luck!
FERBER! We have sleep trained twice with his method (sleep training is not a one & done experience). Both nighttime sleeping and naps should be the same so the baby learns the rules about sleeping. My babe is 5.5 months old and she started sleeping this week 7p-7a with no waking. Its a beautiful thing! The first 1-3 nights are freaking brutal but it really does work beautifully. (Read the book completely before diving in yourself.)
I have a 12 week old baby girl and we have used a combination of Babywise and Mom’s on call which is a digital book and super easy to read. It is written by two pediatric nurses who are mom’s of twins. I will say don’t move Molly until you are ready because then you will be up all night worried! We moved our little one to our walk in closet for a few nights before moving her all the way to her room. The first night that she couldn’t smell me, she slept 6 hours. She has been sleeping from 9p-6a for about the past week, naps however are still a challenge. You are doing great and the decision to move them out of your room is always extremely tough! AAP is actually now recommending a full year of sleeping in the parents room and even as a pediatric nurse practitioner, I couldn’t do it because no one was sleeping with her cooing all night!
Poor mommy! I have been there & understand your frustration. You are not alone!! As for advice, mine is, go with your gut. If your gut tells you to put her in another room, try it. She’s just in another room, not another house. I think you are right that she knows y’all are near & wants to be with you. But like you said, she needs her sleep too. If she’s fed, dry & healthy, it’s worth a try of something new to get you some much needed rest. Happy mommy is important. Both of my kiddos slept very well by 12 weeks if not earlier which I attribute to a combo of luck & giving them their own space. I take AAP guidelines with a grain of salt, personally, and do what I feel is best for us all. My best advice is to be flexible & don’t stick to a plan that you don’t feel is working just for the sake of following a plan. You know?
Our baby girl was born one week after Molly. We had the same issues you were having when she was young and at about 6 weeks old I saw a product called a Dock-A-Tot. I ordered a deluxe model which is good for babies up until 9 months old. I thought it would be good for naps during the day and on the go since it is so portable. Ever since I got it my daughter, Savannah, has slept through the night. She sleeps about 10-11 hours and I have to get up at least once during the night to pump milk. I’m very fortunate that she sleeps so well and I can only assume it is because of how snugly she sleeps in her Dock-A-Tot. Hope this helps 🙂
Hi Ali!
My suggestion is that have your bedtime feeding be a bottle. Feed Molly 3/4oz of pumped milk and then burp and put her to sleep. Then obviously you need to pump before bed. I did this with my first baby and it worked out well. Eventually after 8/9 months I just nursed her before bed and dropped that bottle/pump session. Give it a try one night and see if that lets molly sleep longer.
I didn’t read through all of everyone else’s comments to see if anyone else recommended that or if you’ve tried it already. We also use a sound machine and have ocean waves playing for both my girls. My younger one is 5.5 weeks old so Im not getting a ton of sleep either. Good luck, mama!
I don’t know if anyone else mentioned it, but Moms on Call really worked for us. We have 8 month old twins, and we started it at 5 weeks old. By 3 months old they were sleeping through the night! They now get their last bottle around 7:30pm and sleep until about 6:30. Some days they wake up earlier, but I try not to get them until 7. The trick is staying consistent and creating a good routine. Babies thrive on a routine and like knowing what to expect. We bottle feed, and I drop whatever I am doing to make sure they eat at their scheduled time. Moms on Call has a book, but also an app which gives you the schedule recommendations. It was really a life saver for us. Good luck!
Ali,
Please know you are not alone! That was the hardest part for me, I felt like everyone in the world was asleep but me & that I’d never sleep again! (Midnight mom devotional on Facebook helps to?) It will pass! My little boy will be 1 on the 26th and has only STARTED sleeping this month! Before he was awake EVERY hour after 12! We also have the owlet and LOVE it.. I could never go without! Because we trust the owlet (and his room is right by ours) we moved him to his room at 5 months! This helped because he would talk to himself for about 30 mins and go back to sleep (once he was in his own room) we recently took him to the chiropractor & he has saved us!!! He said Gibson was very out of line and that has caused his sleep issues, severe reflux, and colic! He has now slept 10-11 hours every night! Research your area and find a reputable chiropractor who specializes and is up to date on all pediatric certifications! Hopefully it will help y’all as much as it has helped us!!
Much love,
A very tired mama from Louisiana!
It also may be that she is out growing the bassinet. Not having enough room to move around which may be the reason to her awaking so often.
Our second child was a super light sleeper as am I so we had to move her to her own room after 3 months of sleep deprivation and it worked like a charm! We also installed a white noise machine in her room which really helped her not wake up to every single tiny noise and offered her comfort to fall asleep on her own and go back to sleep if she woke up. Try it with one of the iPhone apps and see if it helps. You could even try it in your own room before moving her.
Ali, she might be going through the 4 month sleep regression…it’s a very real thing for some babies. I co-slept but my 13 month old went through a horrible stretch of not sleeping at night for at least 2 weeks when she turned 4 months.
At that time I literally did everything I could to get her back to sleep including playing The Carpenters for her on YouTube on my cell phone…LOL. It was the only thing that put her back to sleep.
I work from home so I had no choice otherwise I would have been worthless the next day. I tried Baby Wise and it just didn’t work for me. My little one had extenuating health circumstances that made it impossible to follow.
I did find “The Sleep Lady’s Good Night Sleep Tight:Gentle Proven Solutions to Help Your Child Sleep Well and Wake Up Happy” by Kim West which appealed more to my own intuition and sensibilities. It offers recommendations for different age groups depending on when you decide to sleep train.
I know my own mother used a similar method with me at 2 which was effective and yet with her second baby (my brother) used the CIO method.
I think to a certain degree you have to take in the advice, and then figure out what works best for you and your baby not being afraid to modify. Not every child and family is the same so just figure out what works best for you all and try not to feel guilty whatever you choose. AND you don’t have to justify your choice to anyone. 😉
Ps. You will sleep again…although it will never be the sleep you had pre-Molly it’s just not the same.
I HIGHLY recommend the book 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks by Suzy Giordano – it worked for both my kids (18 month old and 3 month old) and they both sleep 12 hours at night and are great nappers (my 3 month old naps 2 hours in the morning, 2 hours in the afternoon, and a cat nap before bed time). It not only teaches them how to sleep for 12 hours, but it creates other really healthy habits that I think are super helpful. I recommend this book to all my mommy and mommy-to-be friends and help guide them through it! If you have any specific questions about it, happy to help further! Best of luck!
Have you tried the obvious things? Too light too dark?Too hot to cold ? Too quiet? Swaddle? Pacifier? Prop her up a bit to sleep? Any reason to suspect food allergies?
Ali-
I’m a NICU nurse. Have you heard of The Baby Sleep Solution book by Suzy Giordano? Or a pacifier at night for bedtime? I hope you find something soon that works for you and Molly!
I have a 7 month old, and she has been sleeping through the night since 2 months old due to “The Baby Sleep Solution” book by Suzy Giordano. It is a super easy read, and can be for breastfed babies and formula babies. We even kept her in our room until 6 months old, and transitioned her into crib with no problems at all. She is on schedule to go down for her 3 naps a day, and sleeps from 7pm-7am every night, and has since about 13 weeks.
After my husband bathes and feeds her, I rock her to bed every night, put her in her crib, and she is out until the morning. Some mornings she wakes up around 6:30, and just kind of entertains herself until I go and get her to eat at 7. It only took a few weeks to “train” her, but it really worked. It also got her to only eat 4 times a day, at the same time everday.
It was really worth the $9 on amazon! Hope this helps!
We tried babywise for the first 3 months and it did NOT work! The 4 month sleep regression kicked our butts (up every hour) so we read the Sleep Easy Solution, decided to follow it to a T for a week to see what happens. Our 4.5 month old was sleeping through the night by night 3 (with a dream feed)!
The book is quick and easy to read. All babies are different but it has worked wonders for us!
Hi Ali our little boy didn’t sleep well either!!!! My husband works nights and I work during the day. I finally had to just put him in the bed with me. I always said no to that but hey I had to get some sleep. It worked and now he’s 5. So I just moved him to his bed. It wasn’t hard at all. There is a book called the sleep fairy it’s great to get kids to sleep in the bed (when there older).
Hi Ali!
You are doing a great job as a mom! Getting no sleep can sometimes make u second guess yourself but know other moms are going through the same thing! Keep up the good work:) My little one is 6 months old and I remember making every excuse in the book to not move him into his own room. We also have the owlet monitor so it made me feel okay when I finally made the decision to move him (at 10 weeks) I kept giving myself reason why he should be next to me (he eats a lot, the recommendations, he will miss me) the first night we put him in his own room, swaddled and sound machine on he slept so much better and started sleeping through the night!!!! He stopped hearing my every move or my husband snoring 🙂 and also smelling me like you said:)
Try it! Listen I have made myself crazy googling every little question I have about my lil babe and yes there is recommendations but you gotta do what is best for you and baby!
Happy mommy = happy baby 🙂
So tonight swaddle her put her sound machine on and put her in her crib ! If it makes you feel better sleep outside the door .. good luck momma and it does get better even if you think everyone is crazy for saying that!
First of all, please research CIO before you do it- the long term implications on mental health should be taken into consideration. It’s normal and natural for babies to want to be close to their mommies all day and night. A lot of kids need a lot of nighttime parenting for a long time. I’m still struggling with my 20 month old sleep theif and like you, I could never bring myself to CIO. Certainly co-sleeping helps alot. Good luck and check out evolutionary parenting on facebook, the milk meg and Elizabeth Pantleys no cry sleep solution. Unfortunately some kids are just more high needs than others and there is no magic bullet for sleep. I know plenty of sleep trained kids who still go through regressions with teething, developmental leaps etc so basically all that crying was for nothing. Best of luck- I know how hard it is!!
Hang in there Momma! It truly does get better. My daughter is 2 years old & still doesn’t sleep thru the night every night, but she IS getting better! We didn’t cry it out either. She would never self soothe, she would just make herself sick…. After 6 weeks, I had to stop breastfeeding because it wasn’t satisfying her or agreeing with her…
My son is not even 3 weeks old & we are seeing the same patterns with my breast milk in him, too, so we just supplemented for the first time last night, 5 hours of sleep. WOOHOO!!!
They also had/have to sleep inclined. Any time I put them flat on their back, they were/are up within an hour. I’m sure that’s a huge “no-no,” but we had/have to do what works best for us.
My only advice to you is to hang in there. She will sleep one day. I promise 🙂 …. But don’t forget to take care of yourself! You can’t take care of Miss Molly if you don’t take care of yourself!!!
Our little ones are very close in age! Our little guy is four and a half months old. We moved him out of our room at four months. I thought that I wouldn’t sleep as well because I would be so worried about him and that I wouldn’t hear if something was wrong but we all actually sleep much better because I don’t hear every single little sound he makes, which used to wake me up when he slept right beside me in the bassinet. I think that with the Owlet and knowing it will likely create a better sleep for all, it might be worth even trying for a couple of nights to see if you find it beneficial and then continue from there. we were so blessed because our little fella slept 6 hour stretches from 6 weeks (I have no idea why, I think we honestly just got lucky) but he has been having a little bit of a regression the last few days, waking every two hours or so. Thinking of you and your family and wishing you all the best!
Hi Ali! Just know that you aren’t alone! My son was born on 7/8 so Molly and he are basically the same age. He’s been waking up every couple of hours this past week too! It’s baby #2 for us and I vaguely remember this 4 month sleep regression. He is also in our room. Aside from the new AAP recommendations it’s just convenient to have them so close when they’re always awake! Don’t you think? We will get through this!! And in those moments of exhaustion, just do what I do and remember it won’t last forever. The first few months have already flown by and before we know it they won’t need us as much. Big hugs!! -Megan
I would recommend transitioning her as well. My little one always slept through the night but then around 4 1/2 months old she started waking up more, wide awake, trying to get comfortable etc so we transitioned her right before 5 months old to her own room in her crib(we have the owlet as well so that made it MUCH EASIER for me to do the transition) and ever since, she’s been sleeping through the night 11-12 hours.
I used the sleep sense program by Dana obleman when my daughter was 4 months old because I was losing my mind. It’s the cry it out method but my husband stayed in the room by her crib until she fell asleep for the first week. Now she sleeps from 6:30 pm until 6:30 am!!! I also breastfed and found that moving her to her room helped tremendously.
Hi Ali! The sleep thing is SO tough! I would check with your dr about sleep training. I was really against it but my dr assured me my son 1, wouldn’t remember it and 2, they are getting into the habit of waking every few hrs and if you say you’re feeding her and she’s not even hungry it could be a combo of being hot/cold or just wanting your snuggle.
We finally bit the bullet and let him cry it out. ***best advice I ever got was go sleep at a girlfriends house for the night and let your husband do it! We are wired differently and I couldn’t listen to the crying. When I tell you it literally took one night, the next night my son was sleeping through the night. I heard it takes 3 nights to break a habit!
We did increments of going in, rubbing his belly after 5 mins, 10 mins and then 15, 15 and 15 until he fell asleep. First time is the worst but it does work!
Just check with your dr to make sure she’s old enough!
Being a mom is hard!!!! But worth it! We all try are hardest at providing out child what they need! I did read and used Moms On Call. Which is good for breastfeeding moms or bottle feeding! I liked it because it gives you a schedule to have as a guide line. I’m a big schedule person so it was nice for me. I know a “schedule ” is hard for a new mom but I really really tried. I have a 5 month old and she is sleeping through the night. I try to have her “dinner time ” bottle around 5 and give her 3 hours between her last bottle. I start her bath around 745. And then we put PJs on and feed her her last bottle with no distractions (dimmed lights). Then after that bottle I will rock her a little and put her in bed. Sometime she goes right asleep. Sometime she doesn’t. But once she is she is aslee through the night. Also, switching her to her room is really going to make the difference too!!! We also started a little cereal from a spoon at night around 4 months. It filled her belly a little more!! Good luck!! 🙂 you’ll figure it out!!!!!
Hi Ali!
My little one co-slept with me from day 1 (I know it’s definitely not the best thing, BUT it worked for us and the only way either of us would get any sleep). Around 7.5 months she was waking up every hour and I knew it was time to get her in her crib. I did Sleep Sense with her and they have two different methods, one where you stay in the room and one where you leave. I did the stay in the room one and I was honestly surprised how good it worked! Both methods you can soothe them with key words and pick them up, but only for a short amount of time, so it’s a little easier on you. I honestly didn’t follow it exactly and that’s probably why I’m still rocking her to sleep at almost 17 months old, but it was a good read! I think it did help her get used to her crib though and eventually that was the only place she would sleep. I do think something like Ferber may be more effective, but it is definitely hard to hear them cry. So if you’re looking for something easier, I definitely recommend giving Sleep Sense a try! I would have done some sort of sleep training a lot earlier if I knew it would work so well. I will say I had a very hard newborn. It seemed like whenever she was awake, she was crying. She was breastfed for 12 1/2 months and in the beginning I literally cut out so many things because I thought it was what I was eating. Then found out she had reflux, which can definitely effect their sleep. Do you notice if she sleeps better when she’s more upright? Around her first birthday is when she finally started to sleep the entire night without me having to rock her back to sleep. So there is light at the end of the tunnel!
First of all, way to go mama!
All babies are so different and they love giving you a run for your money lol Getting to sleep a few hours for yourself is hard to come by with babies.
My daughter is 7 months old now and is finally starting to sleep all night which was totally opposite from my son. She always would wake up next to me in her bassinet and make noises and kick her legs and screech which was so hard for my husband or myself to get REAL sleep. I started putting my daughter in her bed at 5 months bc I was sleep deprived and it was the only thing I could think of to do and it was a world of difference. Once I put her in her crib she just turned into a different baby. I would bath her, feed her and lay her down to sleep and she was out for the night.
I would suggest a noise machine of some sort that can help drown out any noises that might disturb her sleep.
She definitely did wake up off and on sometimes in the beginning and be ready to talk and play and I would go check on her and make sure her diaper wasn’t soaked and then put the pacifier in her mouth and leave her in her bed. My pediatrician suggested I not pick her up unless I needed to. Now, if she is hungry or wet , of course I would tend to her . But if she was just ready to play in the middle of the night I would leave her be and let her soothe herself back to sleep and after about a week of getting up and down with her, she sleeps through the night. It really did a world of difference putting her in her crib.
We did go through sleep regression which was just so much fun lol thankfully it only last a month and I tried as best I could stay under the same schedule of letting her sleep in her crib during naps and bedtimes so I didn’t have to start over from the beginning again.
Hope you get some sleep soon! I know it’s exhausting now but enjoy as much of it as possible. Pretty soon she will be in her bed and you will miss it, kinda hehe Good luck !!
Babywise!
Sleep encourages sleep so if she isn’t getting optimal naps during the day, she will struggle at night. Unfortunately, she will have to do some CIO at night since CIO is different for naps and night. She knows you’ll come to her at night so she will keep with it until you come to her. We did CIO with each of our kids at night at 4 months. Took 2 days and it was hard but they got it and slept through. Also, I really think she can be in her crib. American Peds also say that’s the safest place for them to be. They contradict themselves a lot. Hang in there. This too shall pass.
Ps: I’m super good friends with Lisa and Mith!
Oh Ali, I SO feel for you. First of all…you’re doing an amazing job, having no sleep is so difficult.
My daughter is 7m now and we went through this exact same thing at 4 months..had been sleeping 8+hrs from 2m on and then 4 months came along and everything changed.
A few things we did was get rid of her pacifier (not sure if molly uses one) and stop the swaddle. We started a strictbedtime routine (bath EVERY night) and the same routine was used for naps (minus the bath). As well as we did a modified CIO. We would let her cry for 10 min intervals (if she ever stopped or started babbling the 10 min was restarted) and when we would go into her room we wouldn’t pick her up or anything, only say reassuring thingsand lesve again. Sometimes she would get madder when we left but I didn’t feel as bad leaving her to cry when I knew she was still seeing us and knew we weren’t just leaving her on her own. The first night was 70 minutes, so so hard. But the next day she went down for her naps awake within 2 min and that bedtime was 7 minutes only. The following days she would be asleep within 5 min.
The overnight wakes decreased after 2 nights to only once a night, I’m not going to lie, 10 minute intervals feels like FOREVER at 1am (or anytime astound then) so it was hard to be strong then. But it’s worked. Now she sleeps 7-4, feeds and back down until 730.
We also moved her out of our room at 5 months and it was helpful (even though I miss her!!) but I felt more able to not respond to her every noise.
Feel free to contact me/ask any questions! I had a friend help me with all of these strategies and I could not have done it without her!! Us moms have to stick together 🙂
Hey Ali,
I’m not sure if this was suggested already, but we have a little one right now that is about 2 weeks behind Molly and we also have a 3 1/2 year old. We’ve been VERY lucky to have two great sleepers. That being said, I still found it VERY hard for me to get great sleep when they were sleeping in the bassinet by our bed. It’s a catch 22.. it made me nervous to have her away from me but it was keeping me half awake all night too hearing all of her little noises.
We have transitioned her into a pack & play on the other side of her room to ease our way into moving her into her own room with a video monitor. With my first born she was about Molly’s age when she started sleeping in her room too. It’s a nerve-wracking thing but once you get through your first night and realize all is well you will be jumping for joy.
Also, I know this sounds crazy, but I wear a sleep mask that wraps around my whole head which happens to cover my ears.. Not enough that I can’t hear if our little one was truly crying, but enough that it helps block out the baby babbles.
I will caution you to put too much stock into being able to “train” your baby and the hundreds of books/experts that will tell you X, Y, Z will work for your babe. All babies are different. And sometimes you can’t control the uncontrollable. Trust your gut. It’s likely tell you what she needs. No one knows your baby better than you. That being said, I would definitely suggest moving her to her own room. Our gal slept much better in her own room in her own crib (we transitioned at 8 weeks). I think with us close by, we were a distraction. We keep her room as stimulation free as possible, and use white noise.
The lack of sleep is hard. So hard. I mean, its used as a form a torture. Months 4.5-10 were rough for us sleep-wise, with 4-5 and 8-9 being the hardest. Another thing we did was split nights when we can: husband takes wake ups through midnight so I could get a solid chunk of sleep and then we switched. It helped us feel somewhat human. It will get better. I promise. I know its hard to not want to punch people when they say that to you. But you’ll blink and next thing you know you’re two weeks out from her birthday.
Hi Ali. I have a 7 week old son & we had the same issues as you. Two things help tremendously. One was we put him in his own room. He wouldn’t sleep well knowing we were right there and I couldn’t sleep hearing his constant coos and noises. He sleeps so well in his own room. Much better then he did In our room. We put him in a rock and play. Not the crib just yet and play his white noise owl. Also the biggest thing for us that was recommended by our Pediatrician is to swaddle him super tight!! I almost fell over when he went to sleep in her office when she told me how babies love being swaddled. My son likes it with his arms in the swaddle. And as soon as he’s in His swaddle he falls asleep. And sleeps much longer then he did. I hope this helps! I always say this is the hardest job I ever had !Good luck. Your daughter is such a cutie!!
Hi Ali! I have a 9 month old that sleeps well. We did not use Moms on Call, but I have friends that did and their babies slept through the night sooner than mine (all of us exclusively breastfed), so I think there might be something to it. I plan to get the book if I ever have another baby and see if it is truly the miracle book everyone claims it is! I would say that you should definitely give it a try if Molly is having trouble sleeping.
Also, with my daughter, she would sleep much better in the RocknPlay than in her bassinet. We knew this was not a long term solution, but we also couldn’t handle getting no sleep. So our solution was that we would put her in her crib in her own room at “bedtime” and let her sleep in her crib as long as she would. Once she was at the point of no return, we would put her in the RocknPlay for the rest of the night. Gradually over a few weeks, the amount of time she would sleep in her crib increased and we “weaned” from the RocknPlay. But I still credit the RocknPlay for helping us get more sleep as we transitioned her to the crib. She always hated the bassinet and I honestly think she slept better as soon as we stopped forcing the bassinet on her.
Mainly, I just want you to know that I do not think you should feel guilty for putting her in her own room in her crib. The AAP makes recommendations, but you still have to parent based on what you knows works best for your family. Molly’s (and your!) quality of life will be SO much better if she starts sleeping better at night.
Two things…. Babywise!! The best book ever! She should be sleeping in her own room. How all of us survived with babies sleeping in their own room I will never know. I’m sure you have a great monitor. Maybe she’s ready for a little cereal. My son is 20 and by the time he was four months he was eating cereal and vegetables. I don’t know why they keep changing it. She’s adorable and you’re doing a wonderful job
https://www.facebook.com/CBSNewYork/videos/10154326698054024/
Perhaps this video might help you out.
Hope so.
Hi Ali
I think I have seen that Molly sleeps in the Halo Bassinest. My 4 month old hated the bassinest and refused to sleep in it. My husband says it’s like sleeping on a hardwood floor. We moved our baby into the Rock n Play and he sleeps soooo much better now. I know a ton of moms who love the rock n play too. We plan to move him into the crib soon too but I am struggling with him not being next to me, like you are. Hope it gets better soon 🙂
Sleep is such a hard thing. My now nearly 2.5 year old still gets up here and there at night. Sleep deprivation is really a form of torture, so hang in there! I know how much it sucks. My son was up hourly for months and it was so brutal. My husband and I would rotate and each take a 4-5 hour shift. That way we each got a decent chunk of time. The best thing we did was have a sleep consultant spend a few nights with our son. It’s pricey but worth every single penny. We used someone my friend used, so there was an instant comfort. She literally showed up to our house at 9pm and took care of our son until 7am. Not only did we both sleep, but she diaried his sleep and extended his chunks to 4-6 hours. It was so great. Sometimes when you’re so tired it’s hard to think straight. My advice, find someone to take care of Molly at night so you both can sleep until you’re ready to sleep train. Good luck!
Honestly, giving up the fight was he best thing I ever did when it came to our sleep. I quit listening to my pedi and any internet article about what my baby SHOULD be doing when it came to how she slept and where she slept. I realized (by reading about normal infant and toddler behaviors and development) that babies are meant to wake up in the night. They aren’t meant to sleep through the night (although some do). I gave in and put my baby right next to me where she nursed as long as she needed to, whenever she needed to. Now, at 2, she still sleeps with us but only because we don’t mind it. She sleeps all night and only nurses before bed and in the morning. What Molly is doing is NORMAL and NATURAL and she will soon outgrow it. So in the mean time, sleep when she’s sleeping (and close by) and make the coffee extra strong! Oh, and also it’s an old wives tale that a full belly makes a baby sleep longer 😉
My little guy will be 4 months on Monday and has been going through he dreaded “4-month sleep regression ” sounds like what Molly’s doing. Here’s what we’ve been doing – and he slept through the night last night – after 2 weeks of waking almost every hour!!
First, he’s in his own room – right next to ours, shared wall. I know not recommended but we all have been sleeping so much better. We have a video monitor so can see and hear everything. He also sleeps in a halo sleep sack/swaddle, with his arms out
We do same routine every night and try not to feed him to sleep. I also put him down “awake but drowsy”. We have no problem when putting him to bed it was the middle of the night waking that we couldn’t stop.
When he wakes/cries during the night – after verifying he doesn’t need to be changed or eat – I pick him up and hold him until he calms down. As soon as he’s calm, he goes back in his crib – I keep repeating the process until he stops crying when I lay him down. It sucks – I did this for 45 minutes one night but I think it has helped him learn to fall asleep on his own.
2 nights ago he only woke once and last night he slept through the night!!
I don’t have much advice because we were very blessed with a great sleeper. He’s 18mths now and i hope i didn’t jinx myself 🙂
However a few things we did which may or maynot have made him such a great sleeper. We always put him to bed awake. it sucked because we didn’t let him fall asleep on us for nighttime sleep…no sleepy snuggles. But we took those snuggles at daytime naptime for sure! We created a routine and stuck to it. PJs..bottle with books, bed. we use a sound machine and a nightlight. We let him cry it out. He was so good at figuring this out quickly…again blessed!
We also moved him into his own room at 5 weeks. I know super early but no one was getting a good night sleep we were all waking each other up and it sucked. We relied on our monitor. Once he was in his own room he slept all night. It’s hard but worth it. Oh and swaddle me blackets…we relied on those a lot, but stopped using maybe around 6 months to not have a nasty habit to break.
We occasionally have bad nights…again blessed that it’s only occasionally… we will let him go the first 2 times he wakes then get him on the 3rd because that typically means something is wrong. usually not feeling well.
Best of luck to you!!
We also used ‘Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child’. My son is a few days older than molly and stopped sleeping well a few weeks ago. I just went back to work as a nurse and just couldn’t function anymore on so little sleep that we decided to start sleep training him two nights ago. I’ll admit I was terrified and skeptical but so far it’s working. We feed him a big bottle of breast milk before bed so we know he is nice and full and then put him in his crib awake and leave the room. I was never able to sleep well with him in our room so he has always been in his nursery. Honestly though, we have a video monitor on him that I keep on my nightstand and I can see and hear his every movement just by opening my eyes. I actually think I can see him better and more easily than having to sit up in bed to look over into his bassinet. The first night he fell asleep on his own in 12 minutes but woke up three hours later. I knew from previous nights that he barely ate anything at this time so we didn’t go in at all and let him cry it out. It took 50 agonizing minutes of him crying but he eventually fell asleep and slept through til the morning. We watched him the whole time on the monitor to make sure he was safe. I think it would have been impossible to sleep train him if he knew I was right next to him in bed. I also recommend a sound machine. We use the Dohm sound machine in his room and love it.
I think the important thing about sleep training is if you are going to do it you have to commit to it. If you let them cry it out for a while but eventually go in there you are teaching them that if they cry long enough they will eventually be rewarded with you picking them up. It’s SO hard but my husband and I made a plan and stuck to it. We paid close attention to his eating habits for a
few nights before we started and decided that if he woke up after initially sleeping for at least 5 hours he was probably hungry and we would feed him and put him back down (drowsy but awake). If he woke up before that he probably wasn’t hungry and we would let him cry. Every baby is different so you just have to make a plan that works for Molly and stick to it.
We are going into night three tonight and I’m hopeful it is as good as the previous two. Good luck!
Not sure if anyone said this yet but I would try cosleeping. That’s what we’ve done since our little girl was born (she’s 6 months now) and that’s the only way we’ve been able to sleep. It’s the best for breastfeeding moms because your baby is right there, so when they’re hungry they don’t even need to wake up all the way (which means you don’t either!) so they basically just do a little sleep-nursing and are right back to sleep. Honestly there’s no way I could imagine having to fully wake up numerous times a night to get my baby each time she needed to nurse. Plus there’s something so sweet about being snuggled next to my baby at night and knowing she’s nice and safe next to me. I get that cosleeping isn’t for everyone but it might help you on the hard nights or when she’s going through a growth spurt. Best of luck with whatever you decide!!
Oh Ali I totally empathize….it’s like you are describing my first baby. I felt like a zombie for so long and it felt like I would never not feel exhausted.
So, just from being a mom and talking to so many other moms, I want to say that it really is normal! Babies are on a wide spectrum when it comes to sleep and you and I both got the blessing of the non-sleeper ?. I think responding to your child’s needs is a beautiful and good thing. You could try maybe white noise or even sleeping in a different room while Dad sleeps with the baby for a night to test and see if she is super aware of your presence. But if that’s just how she is, like my first, I say set your expectations that’s how this is for now. Ask for help during night from your fiancé or from others during the day so you can rest. Keep taking care of yourself best you can but don’t be hard on yourself…it is a different world when you’re not sleeping!
I didn’t do anything radical with my first and she did start sleeping better on her own. She is five now and still the lightest sleeper of my 3, but she almost always sleeps through :). (Also, she was the easiest toddler/preschooler! Making up for the sleepless nights haha)
I promise it’s normal
And I promise it won’t last forever !
Most helpful book on sleep I read was Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems by Ferber. I adapted it to my comfort levels as a mom who wants to be extremely responsive to needs. Thanks for being transparent….you’re doing a great job and I know you will figure it out ! <3
I feel ya girl- my baby girl is a little bit older than Molly (turns 5 months tomorrow!) and we have also had our terrible stretches of sleepless nights. Just within the last couple of weeks have I felt like we might be getting somewhere (only waking 2x within a 12 hour period).
A big help for me was when we decided to move her into her own room. If you feel like the time is right for you then trust that instinct. If you have a monitor then you’ll definitely still be waking up when she needs you- but you won’t be laying there awake for every single noise anymore.
Something we have tried implementing is a “dream feed”. We give her 2-3 ounces by bottle while she is still sleeping in her crib sometime between 10 and 11pm. This helps holds her hunger off and we usually get a 5 or 6 hour stretch from the time she went to bed until she needs another feed. The book “The Baby Whisperer” was helpful for me with this tool.
It’s such a roller coaster of ups and downs with these sweet babes- and I know all too well the frustration of the sleepless nights. Stay strong girl! If my baby can start sleeping better than yours will too!! Should I mention how jealous I was of you when you blogged about how easy your first couple weeks were with her? Haha my girl wasn’t a sleeper from day one!
Good luck!
Ali, I didn’t read all the other comments so scratch this if it’s a repeat. It sounds to me like she’s getting to the point that she needs some solid foods as in cereal. I can’t remember exactly when I started giving it to my kids but, when you wake up with an empty stomach (not necessarily hungry), it’s hard to go back to sleep and just fluids don’t always cut it. Think their metabolism burns through breast milk pretty fast, hence the constant need to nurse. I tried to feed them a little while before bed (7-ish) and then put them down about 8:30 so it gave their tummy something to keep them going during the night. It helped mine. Personally, I love a bowl of cereal right before bed and it makes me sleep good too. Probably make nap time after lunch a good sleep too. I also remember my brother having colic really bad and they gave him just a little cereal mixed in his milk at 2 weeks old and it helped him calm down too.
You have a million posts to read. But we just purchased the Sleep Sense program! It comes with a 14 day video series which basically pep talks you through each day/night and helps your troubleshoot. Our little guy just slept 12 hours last night. When I woke up in the middle of the night I saw him self-soothing on the monitor and I actually got really sad that he didn’t need me!
Well you got tons of advice already!! But I’ll share what helped me – my baby is 5.5 months old and I was up every hour just a month ago, co sleeping, and all naps in my arms! I was a prisoner. Now he sleeps alone in crib, I plop him down and leave. He still wakes up every 3 hours to feed, but goes right back down and he feeds every 3 hours during day too. I think he just has fast metabolism like I did, I exclusively BF.
I read over a dozen SLEEP books! I knew CIO wasn’t for me because I would buckle….don’t start any sleep training until you 100% commit to it in your heart. Nothing worse then confusing them. Don’t start sleep training until after 4 month regression leap is over (you can tell by wonder week app). Start as soon as sunny days.
For me I combined two book methods & then created my own. “The Happy Sleeper” – loved the 0-4 month approach set up. Sets them up for success. I didn’t love there controlled crying at 5 months though so I opted for “the baby whisperer solves all your problems” – it’s her 2nd book. Pick up/put down method. It worked in three days. No crying. Screaming yes…but no tears, and I love her approach to treating your baby with respect. Talk to your baby, not at him/her, etc.
So once pick up/put down worked I didn’t want to become a sleep association (my presence- since I was sleeping on mattress in his room), so I did The Happy Sleeper method where I had a specific phrase & combined it with the baby whisperer method.
–I go in right away if screaming, put pacifier in/say phrase. As soon as he stops crying I leave all the way. If still crying i go right back in and repeat. If the pacifier/phrase don’t work and he’s really crying, I revert back to pick up/down/leave when quiet. Always leave when quiet. I only feed if 3 hours have passed. I tried 4 hours like she recommends but it didn’t work, he was sick and starving…
Well this is where I am at. I am now in 5th leap, I can tell he’s trying hard to crawl. So naps and shorter and he is fussy.
I read the only thing constant with babies in first year is change. They get better, then worse…all the time. Be flexible & understanding! ?
good luck 🙂
This is the first time I’ve EVER replied to a blog haha!
*their not there. Ugh. Pet peeve.
I’m a first time mom to my daughter who is now 11 months old, a nurse, and a military wife with a husband who’s job tempo is insane let’s just say ;-). When my daughter was born she would not sleep without movement… meaning mommy didn’t sleep. Her dad was gone a lot due to training, so I was becoming more and more sleep deprived. That sleep deprivation is no joke! I kept trying to have her sleep in her halo bassinet, because I thought that if I didn’t try to “train” her she would never learn. One night in desperation, I threw my hands up in the air and just put her in our travel swing next to our bed. We have a big swing in our living room but we bought a travel swing because we travel a lot to go visit her dad. She finally slept somewhat decent thank God! Still waking twice to breastfeed in the middle of the night and sometimes requiring her binky. For the most part though angels were singing let me tell you 😉 However, on my calendar at her four-month old mark, I decided I was going to do cry it out. I made a doctors appointment and got the clearance from him and read every book you can imagine. I kind of created my own little method and if you would like I would be more than happy to send it your way? I just don’t want to send kind of a novel if you’ve already decided on your answer and recieved plenty of advice by this point. It was by far the Best thing I did for my daughter, myself, and my marriage! Now my daughter has I guess you could say the gift of sleep and so do I!
Oh Ali, wait until you have 2 babies. LOL! I have a 3 year old girl & a 6 month old girl. My 1st was an excellent sleeper for naps (sometimes 4-5 hours) & a solid 10 hours a night at 11 weeks old. However, my 2nd is giving me a run for my money like Molly seems to be doing as well. Naps are short like Molly but if it is quiet & we are alone, I can get 2 hours from her. At night we started sleep training at about 14 weeks & it just wasn’t working at all. She would scream as soon as she would feel me putting her down (even if she was sound asleep in my arms). ? Then I just put her in our room to soothe her & to avoid waking up my oldest & that created a domino effect awaking my other girl. Ugh! Long story, short, we started sleep training her 2 weeks ago & it is getting better. We let her cry one night for 40 minutes. I know it sounds awful but she wasn’t screaming, more just upset & I told my husband, we just have to try. She needs sleep & so do we. She has slept in her crib for 8 hours, woke for a bottle then didn’t wake again until almost 7. It gets better every day but sometimes you do need to let them cry.
Hey Ali – I have no advice for you, but I just wanted to comment to let you know that you’re not alone! My 13 week old is up SO soften its ridiculous. The longest stretch he’s gone over the past month has been 2.5 hours, but usually it’s more like 1-2hrs. I really REALLY thought we’d be down to maybe 2 wake ups by now… not 4. It sucks now that I’m back at work too. I’m also with you in feeling like lots of the guidelines/expectations don’t work as well for EBF babies. I’m already anticipating our son’s pediatrician being shocked at our 4 month appointment over how often he still eats, but I don’t know what to do.
I would suggest checking out the Precious Little Sleep FB group and blog. Assuming DS’s sleep is still pretty awful, I’ll probably be trying some form of sleep training around 5 months.
I’m a first time mom going through the exact same thing with my 4 month old girl. So nice to feel like I’m not alone at 1am…then 2am…then 3am…etc! Such great advice from all these mamas! It sounds like I have to move the babe to her room soon. That’s wonderful that your little one goes down for naps! Mine is currently only napping in my arms if that makes you feel any better lol. From one tired mama to another! ?
Hello,
As a 2nd time mom, a daughter this time. Let me first say congrats on Molly, she is so stinkin’ cute! 2nd, throw the “book” out the window, lol. I only mean that because you can literally drive yourself insane trying to follow what you “should” be doing. No two babies are the same, each child has very different personalities, what works for one, will not work for another. With that being said, I think it may be time to move Molly out of your room. She can smell you, every little sound you guys make at night is going to start waking her or distracting her. We moved our daughter, who will be 4 months on the 18th, out of our room at 8 weeks and she sleeps 8pm-7am during the week and sometimes 8am on weekends. We have a bedtime routine of bath, lotion massage and lullabies, and a bottle. She doesn’t really ever wake up to eat but will squirm and chew on her hands around 5am so I will feed her a bottle then and she goes back to sleep. Now granted we are approaching the 4 month dreaded sleep regression which I do believe in. We went through that with our son who was not the best sleeper. He finally started sleeping through the night at about a year and still wakes me up every other night for a drink at the age of 4! Anyway, you have the Owlette sock which we don’t, we have a video monitor that is very clear, I can see our daughter breathing and I have the volume up enough that I still hear her move and squirm in her sleep. I am sure you have a bedtime routine but make sure you’re sticking to it every or almost every night because let’s face it, adults have lives too and sometimes you’re out and about later than expected. Just try to keep with the same routine, even when you travel. Not every night is going to guarantee blissful sleep but hopefully you start getting some much needed rest soon! We went through this with our son but it’s all a blur now. I know in the moment it can make you feel extremely drained and worried you’re doing something wrong, trust me, you’re not. I read an article recently that babies are either born good sleepers or they aren’t, that you can’t “train” them:/ Speaking of training, we tried CIO with our son at about 6 months and it was very, very hard on me. Again, I don’t remember much but I think I just stayed consistent with going in after 10 min or so. No eye contact, no talking, I laid him back down, patted his belly, and left the room. He finally just gave up and would fall asleep. Also, if you’re using a night light, go with RED or AMBER bulbs, no white, blues, or greens, they can mess with the melatonin. We have a red night light in our daughter’s room and it’s very calming. Best of luck, mama and hang in there!
Dear Ali,
I am writing to you from France. I am a French women, mother of a 20 month-old baby girl. I lived in the US when you became famous with the show a long time ago (but I always thought you deserved much better 🙂 and I was a fan of yours! You were the only one I could related to! You were natural, authentic and smart (rare enough on TV to mention it!). I follow you on Instagram and when I saw your last post earlier today, I could feel your pain (due to sleep deprivation) and I would say, the possible guiltiness that you could feel by expressing that pain…And I’ve been there, like many moms & dads.
So first of all, I wanted to tell you (like many people did before me I am sure) that YES, when you cannot sleep, to THAT level, even if it is because of the cutest baby ever, the person you cherish the most, it is the HARDEST thing ever. You discover resources you didn’t even think you had in you. You discover that you can actually go to work after one, two, 15 nights with almost no sleep, do your job (do it well), smile, be polite and professional, and go back home, take care of your baby. And so on. To a certain extent. Because it is SO hard. So please : don’t feel guilty by admitting. Please cry, scream, and complain you have the right to do so :).
Having been there, I’ll give you the best pieces of advice I got, from my older sister, the person I trust the most when it comes to kids :
– Have your baby sleep in her room (with the help of a monitor if it makes you feel better). Because a little baby is the MOST NOISY thing ever 🙂 even when they actually sleep, you can’t!
– From time to time, one night in a week or a month, depending on what you need, take your earplugs, go to the guestroom or any room located at the other side of the house, close all doors, drink herbal tea and … sleep. It’s on your husband this time. You’ll do the opposite next time. Because parents who don’t sleep cannot enjoy the moments with their baby. It’s tough the first time, believe me, but it’s the best thing that I have ever done when she was a newborn.
– try the cocoonababy http://www.redcastle.fr/shop_product_cocoonababy_62.html THE big success in France. We had it from 0 to 5 months, and she started sleeping 12hr nights when she was 2 months, in her bed, in her room… she still does now… the cocoonababy was in her bed. And then all day I would transport it from one room to another. She spent her days & nights in it.
– finally, if she sleeps in her cocoonababy, knot one of your tee shirts with your smell on it and leave it next to her (the good thing is that she can’t move in the cocoonababy, so no risk she puts her head in it).
and as we say in French : courage!!
we all learn and start from zero with babies; we listen to advices, 99% of them won’t be useful to you, but sometimes, one of them will work : my advice is STICK TO IT 🙂
Aude
4 months is the age where I stumbled in an exhausted haze into a bookstore and bought “The Sleep Easy Solution.” Babywise was too long and the print too small for my sleep-deprived brain. My daughter had stopped sleeping long stretches around 12 weeks and when we thought it could not get any worse it did, around 3.5-4 months. She went from being up every 2-3 hours to being up every hour. The first night she did this my husband was away on a business trip and that awful feeling of being alone with a baby who refused to sleep…shudder.
I first went the route of talking to a sleep consultant, who I really liked, but when she told me it was okay to let my daughter cry it out I wasn’t ready so I ultimately didn’t take her advice. A couple weeks later was when I bought that book because I had truly hit my breaking point. We followed it to the letter. I did a scheduled feed around midnight for peace of mind (again, following instructions on that to the letter). A few days after we started she went 7-7, with that scheduled feed. It changed my life.
I should also mention that my daughter is only 3 and the recommendation to stay in the room for 6 months did not exist – she was in her own room by 5 weeks on her pediatrician’s recommendation. It was really hard to move her but after the first couple of nights it was so nice to get our own space back! So, I totally get listening to the recommendations and being nervous, but also recognize that recommendations keep changing and they change fast! My son is 10 months and the sharing a room rec didn’t even exist when he was born in January (he went in his own room at 9 weeks).
I PROMISE you will sleep again and it will all be okay. My heart breaks for you because I know this feeling so well. Especially when you look at your angelic sleeping baby during the day and think, “WHY CAN’T YOU DO THIS AT NIGHT?!?!” Try not to overthink it. Pick one method – one book, one sleep consultant, one something – and stick to it. You’ve got this, Ali. You’ll be great and so will Molly.
First of all I just want to say how adorable your daughter is! She is just so precious.
I can share with you a little bit of advice that I received from my sisters regarding how to help get my now 16 week old daughter sleep through the night.
My sister’s baby didn’t sleep well at all and was kind of fussy and she attributes that partly to breastfeeding and just not knowing if she is producing enough milk. I tried nursing for the first 3 weeks and it didn’t work for me so I decided to exclusively pump. I really like this option because I know exactly how much my daughter is getting.
My sister in law said that she would feed her daughter more throughout the day so her baby is more full when the evening comes around. The more full the tummy the better they will sleep she said. As a new mom I would try anything especially since her daughter started out sleep 4 hours a night right away.
I started keeping track of the ounces per the guidelines the lactation person gave me and feeding her more throughout the day and it has worked. Harper has been sleeping 8-12 house since 8 weeks. My sister has strictly pumped with her second daughter and she has been sleep 4-7 hour stretches at 6 weeks. She also feels like it has helped her a ton to know how much milk her daughter is getting as well.
We also have the Owlet and that has helped tremendously. She has been sleeping in a swing in her room since month 1 and that has been better for our sleep.
Ultimately you are the best mom and it might just be trial and error but I encourage you to maybe try moving her to her room and using the Owlet to give you that piece of mind.
Hey Ali!
I’m so sorry you aren’t getting good sleep and PRAISE you for making it this long. Whew! I would be sleep walking during the day at this point, so you’re doing great! My daughter is 5 months old, but was born a month early so her sleep/eating schedules are that of a 4 month old (her adjusted age). We started a bedtime routine and I SWEAR it has saved us! We start at 7 pm and do bath time, bottle, sometimes a book and some snuggles, and then right to sleep. She’s been sleeping through the night since 3 months and I swear it was because of this. It got her into a routine and she learned to expect it was bedtime and helped her to relax. We did BabyWise too and it was hard in the beginning getting her on a schedule. Now that she’s older she does a lot better. We do the cry it out method too. We let her fuss and cry for about 15-20 minutes (BabyWise method) and then go in every 5 minutes after that and just pat her and talk to her, but don’t pick her up. I think we’ve had to do this maybe a handful of times. I also just started a nap time routine similar to bedtime because she wasn’t napping well. It’s usually a book in her room with the lights dimmed (we have room darkening shades and that’s also super helpful) and that’s helped her to nap longer. Again it just helps her transition from play time to nap time. Sometimes I cave though and let her nap in her MamaRoo. ? I hope some of that helps and good luck! Hang in there mama!
Hey Ali!! I didn’t read all the comments– bc there is too many! Lol! I would try her own crib and see how that goes. I know it’s hard, but she will probably sleep a whole lot better. Mine both did at about 3 months… It was such a change in sleep patterns when we moved them into their cribs! I will say though.. Around 9 months or so they went back to waking up a few times a night… But it wasn’t near as bad as in the beginning.
In the mean time… Can you sleep for a few hours in the evening while Kevin takes Molly? We had that routine going.. And it was wonderful to get a few straight hours of uninterrupted sleep. I felt like a new woman! I would go to bed around 8.. And wake up at 11 or so.. And my husband would go to bed, since he worked days.
It will get better!! Promise!! Your a wonderful Mom & Molly is the cutest munchkin! Take care!
Put her in her own room! I put both babies in their rooms right at 12 weeks. They were swaddled and in rock n plays. I put the monitor so I could see them perfectly and turned it down 2 a two.
But if she’s really wide awake my first thought is she being stimulated enough during the day (I’m sure she is) but maybe she has more than normal energy. Try no more napping after like 2 or 3.
Hang in there, I feel ya I really do!
My baby girl is 4months and she’s been in her crib since she was 8 weeks. I breastfeed and pump. I started giving her a bottle of my pumped breastmilk at aroud 10 weeks because she wouldn’t do long stretches at night either. I think when I breasfeed, she falls asleep quicker as it’s more comforting, so she drinks more by taking the bottle. She now drinks 8oz before bed, and was doing 7-8 hour stretch.. (and actually did 10 hours last night)
This is what works for me now…. hopefully this may help or you’re able to find something that will work for you 🙂
Vanessa
Sleep training is the absolute best thing in the world! I’m not sure what the earliest you can do it is, but I have a friend who successfully did it at 16 weeks! We waited forever with our son (13 months) and he was the same as Molly. Never slept… we kept waiting for it to change and nothing. We got fed up and did it and we were very surprised how little time it took. He was fully trained and sleeping through the night in one week! We couldn’t believe and felt stupid for not doing it sooner! We trained our daughter at 7 months (she was an easier baby)… took 3 days with her.
I know it’s really hard to let them cry, we checked in with both of our kids very frequently, but ultimately let them learn to soothe. It’s really a great skill for them to learn and you won’t believe how it will change your life. Key thing is consistency. Once you start, don’t stop and don’t give in… first couple nights are the worst and then gets better.
Before sleep training we just used Sound machines and swaddles. Helped a little but no sleeping through the night
Hope you get some relief soon!
Please research what CIO can do to brain development. Babies cry for a reason. They cry because they need something. This is the only way they can communicate. It shouldn’t be ignored. Breastfeeding is what feeds and soothes them at this age. It may seem like you breastfeed non-stop, but isn’t it cool that you have the ability to soothe her because of your closeness? You have good motherly instincts. What is your heart saying? I promise you will sleep again. All of this angst is temporary. You are such a sweet mama! I love how your face lights up when you are with your sweet Molly 🙂
Hi Ali,
first, congrats on your precious baby girl. man, there are so many comments here! congratulations if you make it all the way down to mine and read it, all while taking care of a baby and getting no sleep!
I have a 2 year old and a 2 month old. Everyone has so many good suggestions. My favorite blog right now is https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/
She has so much good advice about sleep, so please take a look. I do know with my kids, if they don’t get enough sleep during the day, then we have a bad night. So with my 2 month old, we are obsessed with naps so that she has a better night. Which really means we can’t leave the house and that sucks. So Id say try to make sure shes getting enough sleep during the day for her age.
I do have some questions for you. When you say you nap trained molly, at what age was that? And is she swaddled during naps and night? Right now we have our 2 month old napping in the swing downstairs, cause thats the only way she will nap (and its hard to manage with a 2 year old running around), but I know we should get to nap better upstairs when the time is right. So wondering what you did so I can also try.
Goodluck!
-Zahra
from CA
Baby Merlin’s Magic Sleep Suit… my husband swears it really is magic 🙂 Our little one loved to be swaddled from day1… but when she was around 3 months old she started rolling over so we tried her sleeping without the swaddle. No sleep for several nights led me to overnight a sleep suit! Lot’s of baby’s have a very strong startle reflex, so that would wake her up all night long because she would startle in her sleep. The Majic Sleep Suit helps calm this reflex so that it will not wake them up if it does happen. We used the sleep suit from about 3-9.5 months! Around 9.5 months she was moving around a lot and trying to sleep on her belly so we tried her without and now she still sleeps all night at 11 months old! I have recommended it to many people and they have all loved it! It’s worth a try! (it looks like an astronaut suit on them but so soft and cuddly)
Hey Ali! Mom of a 20 month old girl here:) I had the SAME EXACT STRUGGLE as you once upon a time! Here’s what my fantastic pediatrician advised: 1. Get her out of your room. I know how much you want to keep her close to you, but sometimes it’s really better for both of you! I kept my baby in my master bathroom for the first few weeks just to make the adjustment a little easier and she wouldn’t be in a whole different room… 2. You should never be the one going to soothe her when she is crying. She smells your milk and wants to eat! When she cries, let her cry for 5 min and then have your finance just pat her belly or back and try and soothe her without talking to her. I Was told not to take her out for about 15 min. Every 5 min go and check on her (not you, your fiancé!) and try and soothe her. If that doesn’t work that take her out bec we can’t let them cry longer then that! Especially at such a young age! Feel free to personally reach out to me if you’d like to hear the whole schedule my pediatrician put my baby and I on at that age. It’s worked like MAGIC for me and so many of my friends! Good luck Ali!
Hi Ali!
My little girl is 16 weeks old today. We moved her to her nursery (though still in her rock and play) at 9 weeks and it was life changing. My quality of sleep improved drastically after we moved her out of our room. I honestly think hers did too. I was constantly turning on the flashlight on my phone to look at her. Between that, and frequent bathroom trips between my husband and I, and our pup jumping on and off the bed, I think we were waking her.
We transitioned to the crib around 12 weeks, and all was well until about a week ago. I think we have hit the dreaded four month sleep regression. We are in the middle of attempting to let her cry it out. While it’s easy to let her cry herself to sleep at bedtime, it’s brutal in the middle of the night because we are so tired. I have been told that if you commit 3-6 nights to crying it out, that they will figure out. My pediatrician actually recommended it. I asked him how I would know that she wasn’t starving when she was crying in the middle of the night, and he told me, “A baby with three chins and no neck is not going to starve to death overnight, don’t worry!” So we are in the thick of it. Hoping it works!
I do think moving Molly out of your room will help you both so much! Give it a try! Good luck mama!
Getting a handle on proper distribution of sleep vs wake time in a 24-hour period plays a HUGE role in good night sleep that most parents are either totally unaware of or underestimate. At around 4 months of age, she should be napping three times a day, with about 2 hours – 2 hours, 15 min wake-periods between each nap/bedtime… shorter wake periods will result in her being under-tired, which means a shorter nap, and longer wake-periods result in her being over-tired, which also means a shorter nap. Then, as her daily sleep deficit grows due to messy naps, nighttime can be rough.
I have a toddler and a 10-month old that both sleep GREAT, because I did a ton of my own studying on baby sleep, schedules, training, etc. I’ve also helped out friends with sleep advice, and have more tips and info that I could go into greater detail than above, if you’ve tried everything else and want to understand more about the balance of wake-time and sleep-time!
Also, 4 months is a critical time, because it’s not actually a “regression”…. it’s when their biological cycles actually change permanently to become more like adults. So this is why it’s important to start teaching good sleep habits, because you’re essentially teaching her how to deal with her body’s new cycles.
We also had a hard time with our little girl. I was to a point where I had to put her in her crib at night. It did not work, haha. After 2 months of not sleeping, uncontrollable crying (both of us), cutting foods out of my diet, we found that our baby girl had acid reflux. As soon as they began treating that, it was amazing, lol. However; yours sounds a bit different then our situation.
As far as sleep training, this became another issue as our girl got older, actually impossible. We tried a method that I will swear by for all of my children. We would put Charleigh (our daughter) in her crib, let her cry for 5 minutes, then go in and comfort her, and lay her back down. Continue doing this but add 5 minute each time. It is very difficult, I will not lie, but it worked like a charm. I refused to go passed 15 minutes, but I never had to. I did this for a whole week, and by the end of the week, she was going to sleep all by herself.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel, I promise. Our baby girl is 2 1/2 and now sleeps 12 hours a night, when she was under a year, I honestly thought that I would never get to say that. I promise, you will sleep again!
I have a 6 week old that is opposite, which I guess I should be glad….during the night its ok with her sleep but during the day for about 12 hrs barely naps, it’s car naps. Half hour here, 45 min there.. Lucky to get an hour at a time. Csnt do anything at home or even nap during the day.. And sleep about 2 maybe 3 hr stretches during the night.. So I am also very sleep deprived. My mother in law came today to watch her for several hours while I napped. The baby, laying on her side, fell asleep in her arms. So she put her down on her side and propped small pillows around her.. She slept 2.5 hrs I was shocked. She also made sure she ate quite a bit before being put down.. She got up and fed her a nice portion and put her on her side again, fell asleep herself..not sure it’s a fluke or maybe they just need a change of position when they sleep ?? Although I pump and formula feed (don’t pump enough milk to satisfy her for a feeding) and I know formula digests slower so they stay fuller longer. I tried to exclusively breast feed but it didn’t work out. So at least done breast milk better than nothing.. She gets half breast milk and half formula. People told me when a baby is born its not hard because they eat sleep and poop… Yeah right, waiting for the day with at least consistent 5hr sleeps I will be so happy.
Good luck, being sleep deprived is not fun and to me the worst part of this new baby thing.
I haven’t read all the comments here above but what I can say out of experience it that my little boy (now 14 months) didn’t nap more than 30 minutes at a time while he was just baby almost from day 1 until maybe 8-10 months old. He slept through the night though but I just think he didn’t have any energy left after almost napless day. Well it turned out that he had a very bad reflux symptoms (hope that’s right term in english, I’m Icelandic btw) and he just didn’t feel good when is laid down and that’s why he was always waking up. It got so bad with him that at one point he couldn’t drink, but thank god for good medicine these days. I recommend that you make sure that nothing like that is bothering your little daughter because what my son had is very common, it’s just different how severe the symptoms are. Best of luck to you all 3 🙂
It seems like you aren’t consistent with your night time/sleep routine. Everything is that you tried, it didn’t work and you never tried again. Be consistent. Let her cry. Use Babywise like it’s the Bible. Stick to your routine and don’t change it. She needs to learn to soothe herself and put herself to sleep. She will be ok in her crib in her room. Stick with it.
Well, I may be repeating some of the exact comments others have given you, I just don’t have time to read them all. I think moving her to her own room where she connects to that surrounding and sleep is what you need to try. If you are nervous use the owelet and a baby monitor for the first few nights. If Molly does not do better then it may be a couple of other things. 1.)Maybe the breast milk is not agreeing with her? 2.) Maybe she is not getting enough to eat? Adding some cereal or formula into her diet? My son was 10lbs 2 oz when he was born, so he slept through the night at four weeks and slept in his own room from night one. I did not breastfeed and he was able to take in more formula than a smaller baby so I think it sustained him longer – therefore allowing him to sleep longer. You are doing a great job and like you said this too shall pass, but to this day, lack of sleep makes me as cross as a 4-month old baby! I hope all these suggestions will help you. Good Luck!
What do you have her sleeping in at night? I have twin girls and the key for us for night time sleep was a really good swaddle! Without it we would have never slept. We used the Halo sleep sacks (but there are a ton of different brands out there now) and made sure to wrap their arms really tight (until they could roll over of course, at which time it becomes unsafe). They HATE it at first, but It seriously helps so much. Any time we didn’t swaddle their arms they would wake themselves up when their arms went up over their heads, which for whatever reason is every babies favorite sleep position. Good luck to you! It really does get better! My girls are 2 1/2 now and are great sleepers and still take one solid 2 hour nap per day.
So I see that you’ve had a million comments already, so I’m not sure it’s worth it to add another one to the mix but I’ll add my 2 cents anyway. I’m a mother of 2 (almost 3) and have done a lot of research on sleep.
My first question is what time does she go to bed for the night? 4 months is usually the time when babies need to start having earlier bedtimes and that can help a lot with their sleeping longer. If she is overtired she’s going to have a harder time staying asleep and a late bedtime scan do this. I have no idea what time she is going to bed now but starting around 5 months my kids would start going to bed around 7pm and they still do at 5 years and 2.5 years (and sleep until 7 or 7:30am). So if she’s going to bed later, I say start moving her bedtime earlier by 30 minutes until you hit a sweet spot.
Also, it sounds like you are already doing this but using nursing her as a last resort when she wakes up at night. Let her talk until she falls back asleep or is obviously upset and needs soothing. She’ll be more likely to learn to put herself back to sleep after waking this way instead of learning that she gets fed at every wake up.
Also, I know that it is encouraged to keep her in your room until 6 months but honestly, it’s ok if she needs to transition to her own room before that. It was amazing how much better my son started sleeping when we moved him to his own room at 13 weeks. Actually, 1 week later he started sleeping 12 hours straight. Now, I’m not promising those results but sometimes our noises are just too distracting to the baby and it’s ok for her to be in another room. Sleep is so important for those little brains so do what you can to encourage amthe best sleeping environment for her.
Lastly, if you haven’t already read it, I highly recommend Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It helped me so much with my first, especially when she was going through the 4 month sleep regression. It’s all researched based and very easily adaptable for different parenting styles.
Good luck Ali! It will get better, I promise!
Hi Allie!
So I struggled with the same thing with my son. And I was desperate for help! I had all the books Baby Wise, Happiest Baby on the Block, No Cry Sleep Solution… while all these had amazing suggestions I couldn’t pick what was right for me. It was like Information OVERLOAD! So a friend of mine posted about this Neonatal Nurse and her husband is a pediatrician. Who completely saved my life!!!! Her name is Cara. She has a website http://www.takingcarababies.com
She has a program that was little bits and pieces of all of these books, but the stuff that works! I did everything over the phone! I loved her! Hope this helps! God Bless! ?
Danielle
Hi!
So I struggled with the same thing with my son. And I was desperate for help! I had all the books Baby Wise, Happiest Baby on the Block, No Cry Sleep Solution… while all these had amazing suggestions I couldn’t pick what was right for me. It was like Information OVERLOAD! So a friend of mine posted about this Neonatal Nurse and her husband is a pediatrician. Who completely saved my life!!!! Her name is Cara. She has a website http://www.takingcarababies.com
She has a program that was little bits and pieces of all of these books, but the stuff that works! I did everything over the phone! I loved her! Hope this helps! God Bless! ?
Danielle
Oh mama, I’ve been there! I have 4 girls who are now 13, 12, 7 and 4, and I learned to embrace the dark circles and zombie mom look ? I wanna say around 4 months there was a sleep/nursing strike and it’s SO hard! Also with breastfeeding sleeping in the same room, they do smell you and will tend to wake more often. But I’m with you and all my babes slept in our room and one of mine co slept and she’s 7 now and still will end up in bed with us ? I could give you all sorts of advice, but I’d just say go with your gut, with what feels right for you and your little girl. Time goes by so fast and before you know it she will be running around and getting into everything! You got this mama, I can tel your an amazing one ❤️ love all your posts and snapchats, very refreshing having someone who’s in the spotlight be so real!
I just wanna say that I’m with you, mama! I’m in the same boat with my 6 month old. It’s so exhausting BUT I have a 3 year old too and I can say IT GETS BETTER! Sleep training was (is) sooo hard for me to do. I was super attached and just hurt my heart BUT it worked for my 1st one. Now, im struggling to do it with my 6 mo. Old. Well, because, it’s just hard and my mommy heart hurts lol! Hang in there – it will happen! Don’t feel guilty to nap when she naps during the day. You need rest, too. The house stuff will get done. Always remember “a house is to be lived in.” And one day, we will wish we left the dirty dishes alone and rested with our littles when we had the excuse/opportunity! You’re such a great mama!
Oh Ali how I needed this post today!! My little guy is about a week older than Molly and he hasn’t been a phenomenal sleeper but these last two weeks have been rough? I am a single mother by choice and had my son with the help of a donor. I just returned to work full time right at his 4 month mark and I’m a social worker so pretty intense work. With the 4 month sleep regression and day light savings I have been struggling. He is exclusively breast fed and we have tried almost everything for sleep. I plannned to keep him in my room 6 months or longer but just transitioned him to his own room about a week ago hoping that would help. It’s really only a few steps further but I don’t wake as much to his grunting and snoring. I’ve heard almost all this advice before but it’s still hard. I’ve tried to let him cry but last night it was only 10 min and he lost his mind and got hysterical. It took a long time to settle him after. I get sick of people asking if he sleeps through the night and telling me how great their baby slept!! I’ve worked in child care and helped ferberize many baby’s but it’s not working for us. I don’t think I can listen to my own baby. We may try some of these suggestions too but your post was so validating for me thank you!! Best decision of my life but man do I need sleep
My little sweetie will be four months on the 19th and my husband and I have found a great way to help her sleep through the night. We started this routine when she was about 3 weeks and she has sleep through the night ever since. We rub her with lavender lotion and give her a light body massage also I use the lavender essential oil on the bottoms of her feet and rub it in and massage her feet I also put a little bit on her chest so she can breath it in. Lavender is very calming and helps babies sleep at night. Also I asked her pediatrician and she recommended putting a little bit of oatmeal cereal on her bottle she said 1teaspoon per once of milk. It has helped us so much
Wanted to clarify we started the cereal in the bottle at 3.5 months per doctors recommendation
You should try the Zipadee zip! Was a total game changer for my daughter ! Saw it one night while my husband and I were watching Shark Tank. A mom created this for her babies, started selling them out of her garage and Boom!
Check out the site. Watch the video. My daughter was in hers until she turned 1.
Good luck! I hope she gives you some longer stretches soon.
https://www.sleepingbaby.com/?gclid=CjwKEAiApLDBBRC8oICb9NvKsg0SJAD9yOHsk1BCRQA8U6I6wqx-jpmPAoF75iyVbpZt51QnFR95_hoCkADw_wcB
My husband and I followed the strategy laid out in “12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old” – I think it is a bit controversial, but it has worked wonders for us. Our little man is 5 months old on Sunday, and while he has never actually done the full 12, he does a consistent 10 hours (and sometimes 11 or 11.5!) every night. My sister used it on her little girl who is 5 weeks older than my son, and she does a solid 12 hours every night. Basically there are 4 steps; stretching out daytime feeds, weaning night feeds, limited crying, then nap training.
The first is pick a 12 hour time period (we do 7 am to 7 pm) and stretching day time feeds to 4 times a day, every 4 hours. (So he eats at 7AM, 11 AM, 3 PM, then around 645PM). This way the babies are really hungry and learn to eat until they are full. My son started eating a solid 8 ounces every bottle when we did this. (I had to give up breastfeeding, which was beyond devastating to me, due to an inadequate milk supply, my little one’s tongue tie, and me ending up back in the hospital at 2 mos post-partum due to complications recovering.)
Anyway, the second step is to wean them off the night feeds which you do gradually over several weeks. I think they suggest pumping and giving a bottle for breastfed babies, or you just do it by minutes. Essentially – each night you give a little bit less than the night before and then they make up the ounces they are not eating at night during the day. So, if on Monday night she eats 4 ounces at 2 am…you NEVER feed BEFORE 2 am again, and on Tuesday night you give 3.5 ounces at 2 AM or later…so on and so forth until you are down to .5 oz or 1 ounce and then that’s when you do “limited crying.” I loved the limited crying system because I couldn’t stand to hear him cry longer than a few minutes.
So, once you are done weaning the night feeds -you develop a consistent bedtime routine (we start at 630) and do the same 4-5 things every night before bed. This signals to the baby that it is bedtime. They can be simple – like reading a bedtime story, dimming the lights, turning on a white noise machine, etc. So – I change him and get him in PJS, turn off the main light (I have a dim one on by his nursing chair), turn on the white noise machine, pull down his black out shade, read him a book, feed him his bottle, swaddle him, turn off the dim light, turn on his sleep sheep, rock him a bit, put him down in the crib, tell him I love him and give him a kiss goodnight – and leave the room. The key is putting them down sleepy but awake. Then – you wait. Once they start crying, start a timer or check the clock, and let them cry for 3-5 minutes. After those 3-5 minutes, you go in and soothe them and do NOT pick them up unless they are inconsolable. The book gives you a “night time toolbox” of things to help soothe – rub their belly, give a paci, shush them, move them around in the crib, whisper to them, etc. The second they are calm, you leave. And you do this over and over until they learn how to soothe themselves, with occasional assistance from Mom & Dad. I would alternate who goes in to soothe too…sometimes our boy would calm down for my husband much easier than me.
The 4th step is doing the same thing with Nap training – the book says the baby should be taking at least an hour nap in the morning (usually around 9AM) and 2 hour nap in the afternoon (from 1 to 3PM).
Now – here is the kicker. The book says its REALLY important to keep them awake from 3 PM (or when their afternoon nap is over – they suggest waking them by 330 if its not) UNTIL THEY GO TO BED AT 7 PM. We tried this for a while, and it was absolute torture. Plus – I don’t believe in keeping a baby awake when they are exhausted – it just seems wrong to me. So, we let him have a catnap, which we encourage him to take before 5 or 530 if possible. And he still does his nights just fine.
Highly recommend the book – even if our babe doesn’t do the 12, doing a consistent 10-11.5 is pretty good, and its been amazing to get our nights back for each other. Of course, that means you need to be home at 630 every night to put them to bed (or someone does, at least) but hey – isn’t parenting all about sacrifice? I don’t agree with everything the book says, so we adapted it to fit what we were comfortable with, and the results were life changing.
Lastly, we moved him into his crib at around 10 weeks when we started this – it was REALLY hard, but I think its better for the babies and parents. Everyone sleeps better. I think the recommendation to keep them in your room for 1 year is really unnecessary. I know its hard, but I think that will help you all sleep better! Plus with your Owlet and a video monitor, you’re all set. I stare at that video monitor A LOT. 🙂 Good luck!!!!
She might still be hungry, a full tummy might help her sleep longer. I know you breastfeed but maybe adding a bottle before bed might help!
I have to respond to some of these comments-PLEASE do not give molly solids! She and her system are not ready for it. Most of the people saying to use bottles are using formula and that digests much slower than BM so that may contribute to her waking more at night which again is NORMAL. She has a tiny tummy so waking frequently is normal. If you are concerned about her getting enough BM during the day I would highly advise you see an IBCLC.
I had a baby girl July 2. I wasn’t getting ANY sleep. I know babies aren’t supposed to sleep on stomach. But with the owlet I felt at peace doing so. I had tried literally everything and It’s the ONLY way she would sleep. I eventually just had to give it to God to protect her. Also, have you tried the zipadee zip? Look it up! The reviews are great. It helps them feel secure and not startle themselves without being completely swaddled. Best wishes and good job! It’s hard!
First of all I think you’re doing a great job being a mom! Our daughters are only a week apart so I feel connected to your posts! As a fellow first time mom I hate it when people “tell me to do something” but I’m all about sharing success stories. My daughter has been sleeping through the night since one month and I honestly believe it’s because she has been sleeping in her room since then. I know that AAP says it should be a year but I had to go back to work when she was 6 weeks and I had to figure something out before that happened. We tried a whole host of things but it was actually my pediatrician who I love and respect very much who suggested we try that and literally the first night she slept through the whole night and I think it’s exactly why what you said. She didn’t feel my presence and know I was there to soothe her if she wanted. I also use the owlet which is what made me comfortable enough to do it along with following all the other guidelines to prevent SIDS. We also still use a sleep sack. I know that is also controversial to use at this age but she doesn’t roll from back to stomach so I’m still ok with that. We use the nested bean zen sleep sack and it is a LIFE SAVER also you can use it without putting the arms in if that makes you more comfortable! Like I said I think you’re doing great but every mom deserve some sleep! I hope this can help a little!
Baby wise! Worked magic on both of mine- the first one is always the hardest! People used to think I was crazy for waking my sleeping baby up from naps and being SO scheduled but trust me- it was worth it!!!
My son loved to be swaddled… and the tighter the better for him. I transitioned him to a sleep sack. See link below. He still loves his sleep sacks! They have larger sizes so you can let your children use them for much longer. Now he goes and gets his sleep sack when he is tired!
https://www.sleepingbaby.com
Alli-
I am happy ( and sad) to have read your post. My son Archer is just a few days younger than Molly and this has also been happening. We too wanted to keep him in our room til about 6-8 months, but after a long few weeks with no sleep we finally gave in and put him in his crib. One night down. It wasn’t easy but he did much better and it’s MUCH easier to sleep train with him not right next to me. I think in our room he would wake, smell me and then look for me. It breaks my heart to have to move him already, but I honestly think he’s more comfortable in his own bed and I actually got 4 hours last night! Also, got a lot of good tips off of the sleep baby sleep website with violet. You can also consult with her:)
I found with our CIO method ( checking every 5 mins and doing what we have to to soothe) that Archer did better if I didn’t pick him up. He’d arch and still cry. So I learn over and rub his back and let him hold my arm to fall asleep. Worked last night but let’s see about tonight!
Good luck! This stage has been SO hard. Trying to remember it’s worth it!
Katelyn
You have a lot of great comments so I will keep mine brief! I echo the sentiments of using Healthy Sleep Habits. Babywise didnt work for us either. A week ago we were in your same position, where our son who is within a week of age of your daughter, was waking every hour and the moment we picked him up even 1ft in the air he was practically back to sleep in our arms but wide awake if we put him back in his crib. I got a library card and checked out the book and it has been very helpful and informative. I don’t want to jinx it, but we are now getting 8-9 hours of sleep out of him, feed him a bit around 6am and back to sleep for another hour or two. His morning and afternoon naps have developed as well as the book states. We didn’t completely let him cry it out, we would go put the pacifier back in after 5 mins and see how things went. Each night was better! Also, we have him in our room, but now in his crib slightly further from the bed then the original bassinet was. It takes some time and consistency but worth it for his sake and ours! Good Luck!!
Looks like you have a ton of awesome comments. Like I saw some people mention before, I would recommend putting her in her own room. We have a 6 month old and he started sleeping in his crib at 1 week. Now when he sleeps in our room I can’t sleep at all! He is so loud! I also followed a sleep training book called Moms on Call. It is seriously amazing. You can also pay for consulting. I paid for the unlimited email consulting for 3 months and it was life changing. You can email them unlimited times about anything–flying, time zone changes, naps not going well, starting solids. Our son has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks. I don’t know what I would do without Moms on Call. Good luck!!
Hi Ali!
Just wanted to say I am a FTM and in the exact same position and these comments have been so helpful!! My daughter is 5 months and is having trouble with night time sleeping. Goes down super easy but wakes up frequently and sometimes will be awake 1-2 hours “talking” and playing. She also sleeps in a bassinet in our room and I had planned on keeping her in our room bc of the AAP guidelines as well as my own peace of mind. However, it is getting extremely hard since, like you, my husband and I are getting no sleep!! Her sleep patterns sound identical to Molly’s, short cat naps and all. We are currently trying to “sleep train” her for naps but are kind of stuck at night since she goes down so easy and is a major comfort nurser. She is EBF and nowhere near weaning from night feedings. Anyway I don’t have any advice since I’m in the same boat but just wanted to let you know you aren’t alone! Thanks for sharing, this thread helped me a ton!! 🙂
Hi Ali,
I’m so sorry for your sleepless nights and I do hope you all get a breakthrough soon. A book by Doctor Dobson, ” What to Expect the first year.” Was a wonderful go to source for me and my husband the first year of our son’s life. Wondering if you have Molly on a regular routine each night? Prolly you do being the grrat mom you are! I can tell you are a wonderful mommy to little Molly! I will say children do thrive having a strict consistent daily and nightly regimen. Downtime or quiet time worked wonders for our son Ian. I went and bought children praise and worship lullaby music and it was actually what helped Ian sleep deeply and so peacefully. It also fills your home with such peace. I do believe that with Molly sleeping in your room at night might not be allowing you all to get your best sleep. Another thing, I know that we came to realize was a healthy time for Ian was for him to have his alone time, in his own space at nap time and for bed time each night. It really gave Ian a sense of confidence to him and to both me and my husband because we knew Ian felt safe and secure and confident even when he was in his room alone sleeping or just having a few minutes of time playing, talking, (or ooohing to himself.) Its a huge confidence boost for them. I know its not a fun thing when you all are sleep deprived not able to function clearly in your day, its not fun at all. I do hope you gain much needed insight and Rest real soon. I will send some prayers up for you all.
Best wishes,
And hopefully some deep rested nights for you guys.
Love, Dannabunny
Our son is now 6.5 months old and is a great sleeper, 11+ hours! I can remember at about 4 weeks we moved him to his own room and by 6 weeks he was in his crib and when we swaddles him he slept longer. By 8 weeks he was already up to 8 ounces of formula and sleeping 8 hours and by 10 weeks we stopped swaddling and he started sleeping 10 hours. We also had and still do have the same routine of bath bottle and bed and I feel like that helped a lot with him sleeping longer.
Does Molly use a soothie? We put our little girl in a swaddle with her soothie after her last big bottle of BM, and then make sure she is really asleep before putting her in her crib. If she stirs in the night, we pop the soothie in and she’s right back to sleep. We didn’t have any nipple confusion problems.
Our pediatrician told us to let the baby sleep in her own room, since we had a monitor like the owlet, and now everyone sleeps better.
Finally, a sound machine. We have one and it is a miracle worker for an upset baby. As soon as she hears it she calms down, and in the night it helps us not wake up for every sleep/grunt or yell.
Hi Ali,
I’m so sorry for your sleepless nights and I do hope you all get a breakthrough soon. A book by Doctor Dobson, ” What to Expect the first year.” Was a wonderful go to source for me and my husband the first year of our son’s life. Wondering if you have Molly on a regular routine each night? Prolly you do being the great mom that you are! I can just tell you are a wonderful mommy to little Molly! I will say children do thrive having a strict daily and nightly regimen. Downtime or quiet time worked wonders for our son Ian. I went and bought children praise and worship lullaby music and it was actually what helped Ian sleep deeply and so peacefully. It also fills your home with such peace. I do believe that with Molly sleeping in your room at night might not be allowing you all to get your best sleep. Another thing, I know that we came to realize was a healthy time for Ian was for him to have his alone time, in his own space at nap time and for bed time each night. It really gave Ian a sense of confidence for him and as well for both me and my husband because we knew Ian felt safe and secure and confident even when he was in his room alone sleeping or just having a few minutes of time playing, talking, (or ooohing to himself.) Its a huge confidence boost for them. I know its not a fun thing when you all are sleep deprived not able to function clearly in your day, its not fun at all. I do hope you gain tons of much needed insight and deep rest soon. I will send some prayers up for you all.
God Bless you and your sweet family.
Love, Dannabunny
Lavender essential oil!!! Diffuse it, use it topically dilluted with coconut oil! Helps baby sleep….and mommy sleep! But be sure to use a top quality brand (I use doTerra)
Ali, my son and Molly are super close in age so I totally get how important sleep is, for the whole family! We took a class when my son (Silas) was only 7 weeks and it changed our lives. You can take her class in Scottsdale Az online. It’s at Modern Milk called “Will I ever sleep again?” She gives great tips and strategies to teach your baby to fall asleep on their own without them crying it out. We read Baby Wise but that just didn’t work for us. Her name is Cara and she has been so helpful to us being new parents. Worth checking her out I promise!! He sleeps a solid 10-11 hours a night and has since he was about 8 weeks old. Good luck girlfriend!!
Ali, My only daughter wii b 6 Years old tomorrow and my mother since day one never let her sleep with me. She said just what you wrote regarding Molly smell you and YES! is so true! So my daughter would sleep far away from me but on the same room as my husband and I for her first 6 months or so till she moved to her actual crib. So defenetelty mover as far away from you as possible or maybe on Kevin’s side. Give her a bath before bed (8pm or 9pm), do massage to her back, legs, feet, head pretty much all her body I used to used the Baby Johnsons Lotion Good Night Sleep (purple bottle) then feed her and let her go to sleep on her own. Another thing my mother will make do is to cover her complety and what I mean is on her Bassinet I will put a blanket so she will end up being in a complete dark in there so she learns the differences between morning and night. Also, check to see if your milk is enough for her or she is being hungry a lot or you might be eating something is making her uncomfortable meaning giving her gasses or upsetting her stomach. Don’t take me wrong but I read so much on what to do that nothing work and when I follow mom’s instructions things change. Remember, Molly is learning from you and is your duty to teach her what’s good is what’s not good so lets teach her to sleep so you can sleep. Oh if you ever need a babysitter we love babies and I can help lol.
With lots of love and respect,
Laura
You are doing great,
I will say we put our baby girl who will be 9months old soon in her crib right after she was born. Our house isn’t very big and we had an angle monitor. Lill went through that at 4months but them learned how to go back to sleep on her own. I could see she was fine in the monitor and I just turned it down a little just enough to where I could hear her crying if she started crying.
I also let her cry it out one night. I knew she was not hungry or hurting because she had two really good nights of sleep.
Also, babies can smell their mom’s. She may smell you. (That may be one reason she’s waking up) So for that easy transition and calming from your room to her crib take her Lovie and rub it on you.
Have a routine- eat, bath, bottle, lotions/oils-I use wink naturals and sometimes lavender oil on lills feet. Tell her it’s night night time and out her down.
Teeth- ok, so one of the reasons lill was waking up where her teeth. She got her first two teeth right at five months. I was shocked! My little boy didn’t get his close to a year. So maybe a little Tylenol and teething drops. I also, put a little lavender in coconut oil and rub on her jaw line. I use all natural camila teething drops.
Hang in there- we say a prayer with our kiddos before we lay them down. I pray that God always lill to adjust to us as we adjust to her. And I will be praying for y’all!
Ali! Move that little one into her own room, NOW!!
Molly will be just fine and you will be GREAT!
Look at the large number of supportive Moms encouraging you to do this — success is the reason for all those posts!!
My son is a little over 4 months and is what we like to call passionate. He had gotten to the point where he wouldn’t sleep more than 45 minutes at a time (day or night) without some major water works. Around 2 months our pediatrician reccommend that we “always expect his best” in regards to sleep. He had been sleeping 4 hour stretches before he decided he hated to sleep so if he woke up before the 4 hour mark we let him cry. Thankfully it only took two nights of crying before the 4 hour point for 15ish minutes before he started sleeping close to 7 hours! We chose to not go in every 5 minutes because he seemed to get even more worked up when we did so I just watched him on the monitor.
I have to tell myself all the time that sleep is just as important to his health as eating and snuggles are and it has helped me so much with seeing crying it out (and ultimately sleeping) as the most loving thing for him. Sometimes what’s best is also hard but you’re doing great momma!
Just do it Ali!!! Move Molly into her room NOW!
No need to put it off. ?
My daughter is currently 6months old and exclusively breastfed. She’s been in her own crib since 4 weeks old and has been sleeping through the night since 5 weeks old. The new standard for baby being in your room longer is strictly because mom will be more alert and aware of baby to reduce risk of SIDS if you have the monitor, you’re fine. I personally prefer to make the transition early so it’s not much of a transition for baby. My baby has learned that her crib is her space and her comfort zone. She sleeps great in her room! and mommy and daddy are only a door away and can see and hear her constantly on the monitor. We don’t follow any books.. we allowed her to adapt a schedule naturally and has worked great thus far! She’s not the greatest napper during the day, but she sleeps 13 solid hours every single night so I don’t complain about shorter naps during the day! She’s getting all of the sleep she needs in 24 hours. Do what works for you and your family.
Hi Ali!
I love your blog and reading about little Molly. Our little man is just a little older than her so I sympathize with you a lot.
I know, I know, I know it’s not recommended by the AAP, but have you tried cosleeping with Molly, as in actually bringing her into the bed with you? Since my son was a few weeks old, our routine has been that I nurse him into a deep sleep and then put him in the rocknplay (it had to be a very deep sleep or else he would wake up as soon as I put him down. This could be very time consuming, sometimes it would take him over an hour to fall into a deep sleep). However, once in a deep sleep, he usually has a pretty decent stretch of sleep (anywhere from 4-9) hours and then when he wakes up, we change him quickly and then I bring him into the bed with me to nurse (at this point my husband goes to sleep in the other room because sometimes he is really loud while nursing). We usually both drift off to sleep again. Sometimes if I’m awake when he’s done I’ll put him back in the rocknplay. Other times I just leave him in the bed with me. For naps, I lay down with him in the bed and side nurse him. Once asleep I move him into his crib. He is now to the point where I don’t have to nurse him into a super deep sleep at night or during naps and he’s able to settle himself down when I’m not there. It’s taken us a while to get to this point and I know what I’m doing will not work for everyone. I was extremely hesitant to bring him into the bed with me (I swore I would NEVER do that) but it’s been a life saver. I researched it like crazy and it’s actually very safe IF done properly. Professor James McKenna has done wonderful research on it that I recommend to all moms who are struggling to sleep. My husband and I are also very specific about his bedtime routine and we do the same thing every night. We also really pay attention to his sleep signals. You almost have to catch them in that perfect window or else they become overtired and won’t sleep. Sometimes things go our way and he’ll sleep all night, other times he is hard to put down and then is up in a few hours. It’s all just trial and error! None of us really know what we’re doing, we’re just trying our best. It will eventually get better – probably just in time for the next baby to come 🙂
I don’t know if this helped at all, but take solace in the fact that you’re not alone!
Here’s an article about bedsharing if you’re interested 🙂
https://www.google.com/amp/www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-levine-cosleeping-bedsharing-global-20160916-snap-story,amp.html?client=safari
Baby Wise! My first born was sleeping through the night at 8 weeks old. He is now 7. I also have an 8 week old baby girl! She is sleeping anywhere from 6-10 hours at night right now. She isn’t following Baby Wise as well as her brother did, but she is still sleeping more than the 3 hour stretches.
There is also an app called “Moms On Call”. It basically follows the feed-wake-sleep cycle as well.
Now that Molly is a bit older, she may be able to follow it better. It’s tricky keeping them awake after eating sometimes, but the method definitely works.
Thank you for sharing! Positive vibes sent your way!
Sounds exactly like my son who woke up every 2 hours on the dot, sometimes he would cry, sometimes he would talk loudly, nap time was the same slept for only 30 minutes, there was nothing I could have done. Eventually it passed at 14 months now he’s 20 months and sleeping through the night finally! And he goes to sleep on his own! I don’t believe in books and sleep training and any other method each child is different and my son was ready at 14 months to finally sleep. Believe me I was so sleep deprived but me and my husband did it. And now hes sleeping on his own in his own room. Remember this will pass. Be strong!!!
Hi Ali,
Although, my daughter is 21 now, I did transition her to her own room when she was a few months old and she did great. I think you are right she senses that you are near and wants to be with you and she also will hear every move that you make. That transition is super hard and although the recommendations say to have her in your room for a year I think it really needs to be at the parents discretion and what is best for you and that precious little girl. I would also love to send you some samples of essential oils that help with relaxation and sleep. My cousins little one was not sleeping well and she started to diffuse lavender and it helped so much.
Move her out of your room. You won’t hear everything she does/says and she won’t smell/hear you. That was a game changer for us. Then, determine how long you know, without a shadow of a doubt, between feeds at night and then let her fuss until then. She may not self soothe right away but she will get it. And so she will be tired more for a few days, but she already is so you are no worse off.
-mom of 3 littles
Ali – first of all, this is amazing. Look at all this awesome advice! Thank you for sharing your experiences so openly. Just by looking at Molly’s photos that you share, it is evident that you’re doing an amazing job. What you’re going through is entirely normal. Like you, I spend my nights researching. Jaxon is 4 months and is clearly in the middle of a combo growth spurt + sleep regression. He was a pretty decent sleeper until now, requiring a dream feed + 1 early morning feed around 5 am. Now? Like Molly, he is ‘aware’ and doesn’t fall asleep or stay asleep as easily. I feel 100% better though after reading some snippets from the Wonder Weeks app (download it, it’s amazing, and they have a book which I have yet to read). What we are experiencing is yes, a regression, but truly a maturation of their brains. Their sleep patterns become more adult like. Think about it, when we are up at night, we know how to help ourselves fall asleep. But that is a skill that our babies don’t know yet, EVEN if they have been good sleepers until now. The key is a consistent bed time routine and an early bedtime (between 6 and 7 pm). Apparently this phase lasts anywhere between 2 to 6 weeks. But this too, shall pass. I just read this article which I find super helpful: http://sleeplady.com/baby-sleep/4-month-sleep-regression/.
So when Molly wakes up at night, as tired as you are, remember that this is a sign of maturation and that she is learning new skills. And it’s because YOU have fostered an environment for positive growth. Her progression is right on track.
Since I’ve been missing sleep so much too, I started noticing that I was, well, crumbling. So, I started to make small lifestyle changes that make me feel better, until sleep returns. Since Jax wakes up early, and I have had no sleep, I desperately need coffee, stat. One of my passions is espresso, cafés, travel, etc. So… I created a little boudoir bistro nook in my bedroom. Knowing that I simply don’t have time to make an espresso in the AM, I know that I can at least turn to my Nespresso machine and have a double shot while getting ready, with Jax in his bouncy chair, ready to tackle the day. Sure, I have an espresso machine in the kitchen, but when I get down there, it’s time to feed my other love, my golden doodle Bailey. And poof, it’s already time for a nap. So having a little café/reading nook that is designed to my taste in my bedroom is so inviting to me right now. I look forward to the mornings because I know that there is a little moment of awesomeness waiting for me, which makes me 1) awake – ha, and 2) ready to butter Jax up with cuddles. I recommend that you think about something, no matter how little, that can make YOU happy every day and include it in your mom routine. I also have been giving my new mom friends a ‘Happy Box or Happy Jar’. My sister gave me one at the most opportune time where I was totally sleep deprived and frantic. In this happy box, you can put little notes of things that made you happy that day. It helps to reflect on the good things during this tougher time. Days may be great, but I hear you, sleep deprivation is real and it affects how we process things.
Hoping it gets better for us! Thanks for having this forum and for sharing your stories.
@joellemaslaton (Instagram)
Ali, I would luv to work with you! (See what I did there 🙂 I’m a Child Sleep Consultant and I work with SleepWell Baby. We are a company based in Canada but we work with families all over the world. The advice you’ve been given about reading various books can only so helpful. Assuming you have the time and brain capacity to read at this point, different books will provide different approaches and some may work for your family while others will not. Picking up a book or looking online and trying to sort through information can be extremely overwhelming.
SleepWell Baby customizes a sleep plan based on your child and your parenting style. We work with you over the period of two weeks (because that’s how long it takes to put in the work to making these changes). I’m trained in both sleep science and parent coaching. I’ll walk you through your plan, help you trouble shoot as necessary and provide you with lots of support and encouragement as you make sleep a priority for your daughter and your family.
My company has helped over 2000 families get the sleep they need and I would be delighted to help you achieve that goal for your family. I’d love to hear from you.
Warm regards and restful nights,
Alysa
There is a product called sleepy stick from perfectly posh, it uses essential oils and both my boys have one by their bed. They are old enough to apply it themselves now but if you put it on soles of Their feet, wrists, temple – it really does help them fall asleep and stay asleep. It’s cheap and worth a shot:)
My second baby didn’t sleep more than a 3 hour stretch until he was 14 months old- naps were 30 min- 1 HR tops! I know how You feel!?
Hi Ali, I just want you to know that I’m not the kind of person who usually leaves comments. But your situation speaks to me a lot and I want to help you and other mommies if I can…
Let me just start off by saying that everything will get to normal with time. I know it’s a cliché thing to say but it’s true. I suffered the same thing as you, waking up every hour for my little one. He’s 5 months now and he only wakes up once at night to breastfeed.
At first he slept next to our bed in a moïse. He would wake up every hour or two to breastfeed. When I would put him back in the moïse, he would start moving a lot and making noises. I couldn’t sleep one bit. At 2 months, my husband decided to try and move him in his room next to ours for my sake! And it worked… I would sleep even if my little one would start moving or making little noises but I still woke up to breastfeed him when he started crying loudly.
My little one was sleeping just fine (2-3 hours at night) until at 3 months he would wake up every hour for weeks! I didn’t mind waking up to see him, neither did my husband but it was playing on my tiredness and my stress. I was exhausted. I cried a lot! I wasn’t motivated to do much except taking care of my little one.
Now, how did we managed to have him sleep 7-8 hours at night? I don’t know the real answer because it varies for each person but in my case, here is what I did:
I ALWAYS give him a bath before bedtime (it’s part of the routine). I don’t wash him with soap everytime. Just with warm water. Then I masage him a little bit before putting on his pyjama and then I breastfeed him after I opened his little night light. Every time I do this, he KNOWS it’s bedtime.
What I also started doing at 4 months is feed him rice cereal once in the morning (8-9am) and oatmeal cereal around 5-6pm. My pediatrician said that if he wakes up every hour at night is because he isn’t getting enough calories during the day. FYI she has four kids… she’s a good reference.
After I started giving him cereal, he didn’t sleep right away 7-8 hours. But he did sleep 5hours which was a huge milestone for us, especially me!
Two days ago, he just started sleeping 7-8hours at night and I believe it’s only going to get better and better. He needed me to give him all the essential food and routine so he can have a better sleep. I hope that this finds you well. 🙂
APA is always changing and they don’t know everything. Baby will be just fine if you have her sleep in her own room..if parents are not sleeping either then no one is sane and emotions are high. Babies are smart, they know their parents and what they can do to get your attention even when its not needed like at night. I bet if you put her in her own room, it will prob get better. Its amazing how we want to follow all the “rules” but really your the mom and no one else so only you know what’s best. Go with your gut and throw out any guilt. She will be just fine in another room. Separating her from you guys seriously wont affect her. My first,I did it all by the books and the 2nd, not even. I learned and realized how less stressful the hard parenting times are when I just went with my gut. I dont even freak out if our video monitor is off. I know my little one is safe and I trust God to watch over him which gives me peace ? Do what you think is right and I bet it will work!! Wonder weeks is awesome and I love baby wise too. Babies/kids do amazing when on a strict schedule.
My daughter has slept ALL Night since she was born! I’m an old school mom at 26 and I learned from the best my own mother! First off not that everyone would agree but everyone does things differently so no judging! First thing is ask yourself what time are you putting Molly to bed for the “night”? I did not put my daughter to bed until about 10pm bc babies do not typical sleep all night and so putting them to bed a little later puts them asleep when you would normally go to bed! (my daughter is 17 months now and goes to sleep by 8, so no it’s not hard pulling the time back an making adjustments as they grow an become more active) My daughter only slept in a bassinet next to our bed for 4 months an then moved to a crib in her own room. Was tough on me but she made the transition fine and we did it early. As for tummy or back sleeping we did both, I was nervous but found my daughter slept better on her belly so I encouraged both throughout the night. My advise otherwise would be not to be hard on your self and not read as many books give yourself a break because it can be stressful if nothing you read is working either. Good luck and just think every 3 months babies will go through different phases.
My second son, Max, was up every hour and a half for months. After four or five months I was so tired, I decided it was time for him to sleep in his room. I would then go to him at night if he wanted to feed. This worked wonderful. He slept so much better in his crib, than in the bassinet. I finally was able to sleep and he slept for six or more hours a night. Good luck!
Hi Ali, I didn’t read all the comments, but the ones I did read were all about sleep training. I want to offer another perspective. The way your daughter is sleeping is NORMAL! I know it’s hard – oh I know, but she needs you at night just as much as she does during the day. She’s not ‘just’ feeding for comfort, she’s looking for reassurance and love and safety at your breast. This is the hard, long road, but it will be worth it! I would love for you to read Sweet Sleep by La Leche League or The Gentle Sleep Book by Sarah Ockwell- Smith. They will show what normal infant sleep actually looks like and how to cope. Please also check out the blog Evolutionary Parenting. I read that you said that letting her cry was breaking your heart – that’s your biology telling you that something is wrong. I hope you receive this message with the kindness with which it is intended. You are not alone, and there are ways to manage this gently!
Hey Ali! The 4 month sleep regression SUCKS! We hit it early at 3 months and it lasted about a month and a half for us. That sleep deprivation felt worse than having a newborn! We never co-slept until that time. I did whatever would work to get some sleep. She napped on me. I breastfed her more often in the middle of the night. Whatever worked. Do you have the Wonder Weeks app? There’s so much that goes on during this period of time. I had a hard time thinking about sleep training when her little body and mind was growing exponentially. Once the regression was over, we started sleep training. We didn’t follow a certain method–just did what felt comfortable for us. We’d let her cry for 5 minute increments and would go in and soothe. We found through trial and error what worked for our daughter. It actually made her more upset to be picked up and put down, so we’d just go in and touch her face/back/head/tummy until she was calm then leave again. The third night was the hardest! I would go walk our dog and my husband would have to do the soothing. I’d still meet her needs during the night and feed her. However, once she was able to self soothe and put herself down in the beginning of the night, after about a month or 2, she was able to soothe herself back down in the middle of the night too. Eventually I’d put her down at 7 and she’d sleep until 5-5:30, nurse and then sleep a couple more hours. Good luck mama! You got this!
I know you want to keep Molly near by and sleeping in your room until the recommended 6 months. However, I totally think you may be right that she can smell you and wakes up because she knows you are right there. My daughter is 18 months now and just started sleeping through the night consistently, every night when I stopped nursing at 16 months and my husband started to tend to her when she had her one wake up. When I stopped going into her room in the middle of the night to nurse and my husband started going, she started sleeping through the night within days. I am very pro breastfeeding, but unfortunately a lot of breastfed babies don’t sleep well. So, I have just decided, with future kids, breastfeeding my baby is more important to me than my sleep. Anyway, We moved our daughter into her room at 3 1/2 months because she was sleeping so great in our room in her rock n play. When we moved her to her crib I tried to mimic the cozyness of her rock n play by adding cushion under her crib sheet to make like a little cocoon for her. Of course, there was nothing loose in her crib and I kept the monitor on and watched closely. Once she started to roll over I had to remove everything from her crib and stop swaddling her. During this next phase of getting used to no swaddle I was up probably 3 times during the night walking into her room to nurse. Which is my next point, SWADDLING. I know Molly may be over being swaddled, but it does wonders for baby’s sleeping. When my daughter was very little I could swaddle with a blanket, then I had to move to the swaddleme, then the Miracle Blanket (which is AMAZING!) and lastly the Anna & Eve Swaddle Strap (my absolute must have Baby product). My daughter napped and slept with the swaddle strap until she began rolling over, but I kept her in the swaddle strap for some naps she took in the swing up until 8 months ?! Anyway, beyond swaddling most important things to encourage baby sleep: noisemaker, soothing music (I prefer Rockabye Baby Coldyplay), projector or some type of lights for baby to look at, and the room needs to be absolutely dark.
Hi Ali! I totally feel for you because lack of sleep is so hard and trying to figure out why you’re baby is waking is so frustrating! My baby boy is about to turn 7 months and finally sort of sleeps through the night but still wakes in the middle of the night and I have no idea why. Moving him to his own room in his crib helped because he is a light sleeper so anytime we made a sound he would wake up. I read the book 12 hours of sleep by 12 weeks and it really helped night wean him so he no longer needed to eat. And then my pediatrician said I really need to let him cry it out. She said the studies have shown it isn’t damaging to them and they will never remember. But they need to learn to self soothe and they won’t if you keep going in there. The first night or 2 was absolutely horrible. Had to hold myself back from going in there. But then it worked! His crying time would get shorter. He’s 7 months and I still have to let him cry it out (it’s much easier when he’s in his own room) and it’s still hard for me so I just put in ear plugs and wait for it to pass. And it (usually) always does! 🙂 good luck!
Try the dock a tot. Someone may have already suggested this but it’s pretty amazing. I don’t know why babies sleep so well in them but they do. The material is breathable so that takes a lot of worry away. Also, I followed moms on call. Great book and very helpful
This was me! I have seen every hour on the clock. I read baby wise and moms on call. I got down on myself bc I thought I must be doing something wrong since my baby wasn’t sleeping. It gets better. We used the miracle blanket until about 4 months which was great. There are so many growth spurts that happen every few weeks. The wonder weeks app is an awesome guideline for the growth spurts. I also took my daughter to a pediatric chiropractor and it helped her sleep. I didn’t transition our daughter to her bedroom until 7 months-I wanted to at 6 mos but lingered until 7. Just remember you are an awesome mom, this too shall pass. You will get sleep someday ?
I know that you are sharing about the positives of the Owlet but I urge you to consider this being a factor in her inability to sleep. Our bodies, especially our babies’ bodies are heavily effected by emfs and the signal being sent from it to your phone can cause unease. I know it seems crazy but once I learned these effects and took my children’s video monitors out of their rooms they slept so much better. There rooms are right next to mine so I wasnt concerned but the difference was drastic.
My son just turned 3 months this past Saturday. I booted him out of our room and into the nursery at 1 month because of his night chatter. I keep the monitor volume low enough so little sounds dont wake me but bigger sounds he makes will. He sleeps with an Owlet on and in a Dock-a-Tot. The guy has been sleeping an 8 hour stretch the last little bit and even pulled a couple 10 hours in there. He has a short 30 min morning nap then a long (like 3ish hour) afternoon nap then another short one later on. Hes in bed at 10pm and I get him up for the day around 8 or 8:30. So he has around 10 hours total at night. He has only ever had breastmilk. I’m waiting for the 4 month sleep regression to kick in ?
My little one is almost 5 months and had been in her own room since she was 2 weeks old (she was a noisy sleeper and I was waking at every sound). She started sleeping her nights at 3 months and it was heavenly (sorry I know that’s tough to read) then the last few weeks she’s been waking to feed. She will down a whole bottle then go back down to sleep. So we started introducing food. She eats a teaspoon of cereal a day and we’ve just introduced veggies this week. She could be waking because of her sleep environment (maybe she’s ready for a crib) or maybe she really is hungry – maybe it’s time to introduce some food? (If you haven’t already)
Also for both my kids I used the EASY method from the baby whisperer. So simple to follow and worked for us!
Good luck. You will sleep again. I promise 🙂
Ali, first of all congrats on your gorgeous baby! Let’s talk sleep, I will tell you that my now one year old couldn’t even be put down on her back for one second without crying when we first brought her home. Then I had a night nurse come and teach me all the tricks. First you need to swaddle her and swaddle her tightly. Next you need to take her out of your room immediately that is what monitors are for and put her in her crib!! Last you need to make sure she is following the eat play sleep method of baby wise. But please please take her out of your room!! Put her on a schedule at this stage she should be following a 7-11-1-4-7 schedule that is the times she would feed play and then sleep around 2 hours. She sleeps so well during her naps because you are not next to her, she absolutely sense you.
My daughter did all this and was sleeping an 8 hour stretch in her crib at 10wks! Now at 1 year she sleeps two naps approximately 1-1.5 hours and then 11 hours at night. I literally put her to bed at 8:30pm and she doesn’t wake up till 7:30am. Also you need to have a bedtime routine, incorporating a bath every night helps, even if it just a water bath, it trains them that this is the signal for sleep. Promise promise all this works. Oh and make sure you have a good swaddle!!
Not sure if this was already offered up – but I live and die by “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child”. I started with Babywise but it didn’t work out for me. Then I read HSHHC and I recommend it to anyone new to having a baby. I knew nothing about sleep and that book saved my life. I had a colicky first baby and we finally followed the Ferber method to sleep train. It saved me. Naps were second to improve. But the book has real stories of other parents and their situations and it’s quite helpful.
We are so blessed! Our little Vivianne slept 7 hours straight on day nine! I remember waking up in a panic and calling my Mama to ask if I need to wake her up to feed her, and she said a sleeping baby is a satisfied baby to let her sleep! My husband and I get an okay amount of sleep at night. She wakes about every 4 hours most nights, sometimes she goes 6. It’s the days I’m concerned about. I feel like she is “spoiled” in a sense. She will be 2 months tomorrow and she will cry if I set her down to run to the bathroom. She is the lightest sleeper I know. Every time I try to lay her down for a nap during the day she wakes up crying and as soon as I hold her she’s fine. I’m worried that she’s not getting proper naps in during the day. Any advice on laying her down during the day? BTW, we ordered our owlet with your coupon code. It’s been our saving grace! We did however have a red alert the other night which scared me to death! It read low heart rate but she was perfectly fine that I’m aware of. I wonder if they ever have false alarms? I researched it and everything pointed towards sleep apnea in babies, but when I mentioned it to our pediatrician she told us to transfer to her crib or the pack n play next to the bed. She sleeps in a rock and play which is at an incline and with that and the owlet is the only way I can somewhat drift off to sleep. I’m so scared to put her flat on her back.
I’m not here to offer any advice because I’m not an expert but instead here are some words of encouragement! You can do this! I have twin boys about 7.5 months old. This is definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever done but it’s all so worth it. Eventually you will get “some” sleep and look back on these days and wonder how you ever survived those sleepless nights. Because you’re a mom. That’s how. We do everything we can for our little one(s). I remember some of the worst nights, thinking there is no way I can do this. And then the sun rises, and your baby greets you with the biggest smile. And the ringing in your ears from hours of crying have faded away and all you can hear is the little giggle from your angel. You’re strong. You’ve got this momma! Keep up the great work!
This babycenter group has some tagged info about sleep schedules that worked for us.
http://community.babycenter.com/groups/a199215?scid=ddigest_body
It’s called Teaching Your Baby and Toddler to Sleep if the link above doesn’t work.
Make sure you read the pinned information that is at the top of the page after you join.
It is also a community to ask questions in and get support from others that are in the same boat.
I followed the schedules 1 month ahead of my son’s age bc that schedule was what seemed to work for him. We also hired a sleep specialist who came in for 3 nights and 1) helped us get some sleep for those nights and 2) helped us understand our son’s sleep patterns and quirks. After she left, he was sleeping through the night within a month and is the best sleeper to this day.
I also shared the babycenter info with a friend of mine and she was able to get her son sleeping through the night too.
All babies are different – wishing you the best of luck. It is a really hard thing when you are sleep deprived.
It looks like you have had a bajillion responses so I hope you found something useful!
Mom of two kiddos here – now 3.5yrs and 17 months – and I am proud to say both are happily sleep trained. I never push it on anyone, but I will absolutely recommend it to everyone struggling.
We did extinction for both really early on (3.5 months) and both moved into their own rooms because we all were not sleeping well. They cried (in a controlled environment). They both survived. And they have no developmental issues from it.
We used eat, play, sleep during the day and then a solid bedtime routine. I made sure we did the same routine around the same time every day to set their circadian rhythm. Makes a huge difference. For naps, I did crib hour with them (leave them for an hour from the time they fell asleep regardless if they wake up early to allow them time to fall back asleep). Nap training def takes longer than nights. Keep feedings at the beginning of bedtime routine, make sure she goes into her bed awake (but within age appropriate wake times for her age) and allow her to get to the “drowsy” stage on her own as this is the first step of sleep.
We use a noise machine, blackout blinds (complete black room).
I joined a Facebook group for healthy and respectful sleep training which was really supportive and offered amazing step by step help.
Regardless what you choose to do, just remind yourself that you are an amazing mommy and she will eventually sleep. Teaching her the ability to fall asleep on her own is such a valuable asset and will pay off in the long run for you and for her. Good luck mama!! ?? praying the sleepy dust fairy pays you a visit soon!
“Sleep training” makes me laugh out loud. What other mammals have to train their young to sleep?!?! None. None of them do. So why do we feel like we have to? Your baby has only been on this earth for 4 months?!!! She lived inside you for 9 months. She has never known hunger or been alone for 9 months. But you expect her to just sleep by herself, all night long within 4 months of arrival?!?!?!
Our baby sleeps with us in our bed and has since she was born 8 months ago. It’s GREAT! I breastfeed so it is 100% safe that she is in our bed as we sleep. By bedsharing with our little one, we are building her trust, security, and meeting her needs. It also allows me to get as much sleep as possible. Does she wake frequently to nurse? About every 2-3 hours which is totally fine because she is doing it for survival and I usually have to pee by that time. “Where’s mama?!?? Oh! She’s right here!!! Awesome!! Let me get a snack, ok back to sleep.” “Going through a developmental leap, gotta get me some milk to help me through that!” “This world is pretty scary to this new soul, I need to be comforted and feel the love from mama. Give me those boobies!!” I whip out the boob, she latches, I go back sleep.
By bedsharing with your little one, you are reminding her to breathe which leads to less SIDS. More cultures around the world bedsharing than those that don’t. Putting your baby in another room…….it’s your choice but again, she has only been on this earth for a mere few months!!! She is still trying to figure everything out.
If you, or anyone, is interested in how to safely bedshare, get the book “Sweet Sleep.”
I should note that I work full time (about 9 hours a day) with developmentally challenging, sometimes aggressive, children. Which means, I gotta be on my toes and ready for action. Bedsharing allows me to get as much sleep as possible while still meeting my little one’s needs.
Oh! And as for when you will sleep again, when she’s a teenager and sleeps in until noon.
Mama of 2 girls. Ages 5 and an almost 2 yr old. My first slept all night at 6 wks an 2nd one didn’t sleep thru the night till 8 mo although she would only get up once or twice. So I believe you are exhausted. I do recommend putting her in her own room since you have a monitor you can hear/watch her with. It will take you a few nights to adjust but trust me you will be so glad you did. I rocked at bedtime to put my girls to sleep an still do some for my 2 yr old. I don’t regret it at all. There only little once!!! You have a very sweet little girl!!! Good luck!!!!
http://www.whattoexpect.com/blogs/parenting-three-when-can-i-pee/letting-your-baby-cry-it-out-really-bad-idea
Girl, you need sleep! A lot of other people recommended this already but you should probably just move her into her room. You have the Owlet for peace of mind while she’s not right next to you, and of course a video monitor. You won’t sleep the first night she’s in there because you’ll be watching the monitor the whole time (I did it with both my kids!) but I think in the long run, it’ll be for the best. Also, what’s Molly’s schedule like? What time is she up for the day, what are her wake times, what are the durations of her naps, etc? Sometimes daily wake time can have a huge impact on nighttime sleep. Also, she could just be having one doozy of a 4-month sleep regression. I hope you get some relief soon…you all need it!
I have a 13 month old. We did not believe on the cry out method so he is sleeping in our bed since he is 4 months, it’s so much easier since I breastfeed and I don’t pump…. I thought he will never sleep during the night , I used to cry almost every day thinking that he will never sleep and all of the sudden he decide to sleep all night… my only advise is do what’s best for you and your family, keep in mind that every baby is different and they grow SO FAST, enjoy every second with Molly!
She might be going through the 4 month sleep regression. When my little one went through it it was the hardest thing in the world especially since I didn’t even know that was a thing! Lol took her about 3 weeks to get through it.
I was opposed to sleep training and crying it out before but it’s really the only thing that worked on our little one. The constant checking in always made it worst and eventually I would just give up out of exhaustion. I finally committed to the “extinction” method one night after a full month of no sleep and honestly I wish I had done it sooner. The first night was brutal but she actually slept through the night 12hrs!!! I was speechless she had never ever done that! So it gave me the confidence to do it again the next night and she’s been sleeping through the night ever since! Took her about 2 weeks to go to sleep initially without crying but after the 2nd night she’d only fuss for a few minutes and sleep all the way through. I was so relieved I thought it was magic lol the respectful sleep training group on Facebook really helped and has some really good info! I definitely recommend it!
Also, I moved little one in her room at 6 months but again I wish I had done it sooner because even the first night was a game changer. She slept longer and better without us waking her up while we moved or snored in our bed lol
It’s so hard I know! I feel like for me that first regression is truly when I thought I’d officially lost my marbles lol I read so much about sleep training and all the methods and so many books and information! I swear it drove me insane there for a while until my husband told me to stop reading and just work it out together. I know it seems impossible right now but you’ll get through it! Even if you have to nap while she does there’s no shame in that! 😉
Hope it gets better for you guys! It’s lucky they’re so cute 😉
She is so adorable! I have a 5.5 month old. We have been going through the same thing for about 2 months. It’s so incredible hard. I went into some serious depression cause I wasn’t getting any sleep, I’m getting better 🙂 We have the owlet and have moved her to her room in her crib. She did SO much better than our room. But still not “great”. My ped told me to try rice cereal in her bottle and that works a bit but something that has helped her tremendously is a tight blanket across her (not too tight lol), so when she wakes up she can’t start wiggling like crazy and she ends up going back to sleep “most” the time. I wouldn’t put a blanket in there of course if I didn’t have multiple cameras and the owlet. And she can not get the blanket un-tucked so I feel ok about it. Try talking to your ped and see if rice cereal would help Molly. Good luck girl. No sleep is the hardest! Let us know if you find something that works for you and Molly! Xo
My daughter is about a month younger than Molly and while her sleeping at night wasn’t terrible, her naps during the day were not happening unless we were on the road or she’d take a cat nap for 20 minutes. I was loosing my mind so we decided to start letting her cry it out a little. She had been sleeping in a swing as a newborn and then a rock n play but we wanted to move her to the nursery to sleep flat on her back and let her cry it out a little. She liked to be swaddled but moved too much to stay asleep and would break out of it. We got Merlin’s Magic Sleepsuit and put her in it for naps and bed time and she started taking 2-3 hour naps and sleeping flat in her crib for 5-6 hours at a time. Not sure what Molly sleeps in but it may be worth looking into!
Wow! I completely feel for you! My son is 11 months old and he still has sleep troubles! He sleeps in our room because like you it’s best and will start transitioning to his own room in a month or so. Anyway, have you read up on sleep regression? It’s what some navies go through when they are going through growth spurts or learning new things and their little brains don’t shut off for sleep. My son does this ever few months for like 2-4 weeks. He wakes up every hour and because I need my sleep so much I just nurse him every time and he doesn’t really even eat. He just basically uses me as a pacifier. I have no idea how I’m going to wean him now! Teething is also a culprit and tylenol before bed seems to help. When he is sleeping good he sleeps about 5 hours straight then wakes up and eats then goes back to sleep quickly and wakes up about 2-3 hours later for comfort. He sleeps about 10-12 hours a night. If he doesn’t get that he’s a mess all day. He naps about 2 or 3 times a day…1 long one (1-2 hours) and 2 short ones (30-45 min). All I can say is nap when she does! If you can of course. I try but sometimes I can’t. I just at least try to go to bed when he does or shortly after. But you’re right…it won’t last forever. But could possibly be awhile. As I said…my son is 11 months old. He is my 4th and my other babies were so much easier. Amazing sleepers!!! Sorry I couldn’t help much but wanted to share yoyr frustration. Hang in there and try to rest when she is. ?
You should try infant massage
It’s great for everything including sleep
Get that little nugget to the chiropractor!! I garuntee your babes will be sleeping in no time. Here is a link to the international chiropractic pediatrics association. Many research topics on this exact subject. Chiropractic is safe for all and has 100% worked for thousands upon thousands of babies, just like sweet Molly. 🙂 wishing to sleep!
http://icpa4kids.com/research/published_papers/index.htm
My little dude never slept through the night until he was a YEAR old. Ugh I was so desperate right around Molly’s age. No sleep was making me tired, cranky, and neither my husband or I were functional during the day. My dude was like Molly, wanted comfort, not food and somehow managed to work himself into a more awake tizzy when we tried to let him cry. The only thing that worked for us was separation and co sleeping. We decided it was best that one of us was well rested at the very least and took full weeks, I was “on” one week and “off” the next which meant 7 full nights of sleep. Max only slept more.than 5 hours when he was in bed with us. No blankets, mattress on the floor in his room, but it was life changing. I fully felt a fog and weight lift off of my shoulders, and, he eventually started migrating to his crib for 4-6 hour stretches around 7 to 8 months. He now sleeps 10-12 hours in his crib. But I fully remember being in your shoes thinking that day would never come. My dude decided he needed attachment parenting, even though I was NOT an attachment parent, but it helped. Good luck!
I should also note, my 15 month old is still breastfeeding but I stared giving him a bottle of formula before bed at night – it takes longer for them to digest so they sleep longer. I sobbed the first time I gave it to him because I felt like a failure, but the relief when it totally worked was worth it!
Hi Ali, first time commenter! I have 3 kids 24,19,13 yes all five years apart but we wouldn’t change anything.
My first bit of advice would be to stop reading all the books. I was so overwhelmed by all the books and there only like 4 out back then. I talked with my friends and family(your mom knows best or his mom) then my husband and I decided what we would do and tried our very best to stick to it. (Side note it changes with every kid). Follow you gut. It never fails you. I would also move that child to her own room ASAP. You are a doing a disservice to her, Kevin and you. She will be fine especially since she is hooked up and prob watch via baby monitor every minute. Maybe she needs Molly time to talk and play and figure things out. As long as she is dry and full. Finally I would suggest you give her A tiny bit of rice cereal just from a spoon and maybe 3-5 bites at her last feeding. My son was 3 weeks when my mom gave him cereal, of course I about died bc they say no cereal before however long, but it was just what he needed. He ended up sleeping thru the night ever since. That’s why I say don’t take a book, friend, or family as bible bc every kid is different and needs different things. I hope some, any, all helps. Good luck nothing you do break her you are learning as you go. You are a great mom to ask for and want help and ideas. Pls let me know what works.
I know you are trying to follow the guidelines with keeping her in your room but both of my girls (one adopted and one biological) would NOT sleep in our room. I finally got to the point where I needed sleep so we moved them in their own room in a crib (2 steps from us just a wall divided us) and they started sleeping through the night. I also read a blog don’t remember where it’s been a while that you make everything bright when she’s supposed to be awake and dark when she should be sleeping. We always made noise no matter what because we have kids that just can’t be quiet when their sibling is asleep haha!
Another thing I know workes is Essential Oils. I wish I knew about them when I had babies maybe then I wouldn’t feel so defeated haha!
Hey Ali! My son is just a few days younger than Molly and we just started sleep training on Sunday night and last night we saw SO much progress! He put himself to sleep with ZERO tears and only woke up twice to nurse. Before that he was waking up 4-5 times and couldn’t put himself to sleep at all! Obviously, every baby is different but I’ll share with you our approach.
1. He is in his crib in his own room. We use white noise (LOUD) and a cool mist humidifier (he’s been stuffed up for weeks from a cold.) He’s also in the Merlin Sleepsuit which gives me a little more ease because he can’t roll over to his belly in it (yet).
2. As for sleep training, we are using a modified version of the Ferber Method. Our pediatrician said the timed checks are sometimes too frequent with Ferber’s time charts so we stretch the time a bit. I don’t have “planned” time in between checks, but I’ve been using a “Types of Cries” file from a Sleep Training FB Group that has been really helpful! This way I can try to read where he is in the “process” and don’t go in to check on him if he’s actually starting to calm down. We only go in to check on him when he’s in the “Peak Cry” phase. Below is the link to the post. Scroll to the bottom for the Types of Cries. http://community.babycenter.com/post/a5417415/how_to_successfully_teach_a_baby_to_sleep_-_3rd_ed
3. We aren’t trying to night wean yet since he’s breastfed and still young. So, my limit is if he wakes up after 3 hours then I’ll nurse him, but if he wakes up before that then we do the cry/checks method until he falls asleep. He’s never gone longer than 10-15 minutes of crying thankfully!
4. Also, I just read yesterday on https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/ that it’s ok to nurse them to sleep in the middle of the night. But, it’s MOST important to put them down awake at the beginning of the night. So, this made me feel much better because he’s zonked after I nurse him so that made it easier for me.
5. Make your husband do the checks. This way Molly won’t think you are coming to nurse her. That has really helped us!
So, we are 4 nights in and last night was SO good! I am so proud of our nugget. 🙂 Best of luck!!!
Hi Ali! I’m a first time mom as well, so I’m definitely no expert & I’m trying to figure all this “mom” stuff out, too. I’ve heard that formula keeps little ones fuller longer, and I believe it–my little one has slept so much better ever since she’s had a bottle of formula at night. She eats about 4 ounces & is 2 1/2 months old. I know that you’re breastfeeding, but maybe one bottle of formula at night would help? But I know it’s totally a touchy subject, so do what you feel is best for you & Molly 🙂 I hope that this didn’t offend! I’m hoping that you and Molly get more sleep soon!! It seems like you have received loooots of good tips!!! Crossing my fingers for you 🙂
Hey Ali. Not sure if you will read this bc I see you got so many comments and I couldn’t read them all to see if I duplicating the same advice. But e went through this same exact thing. We tried it all. Sleep trainer. All the different outfits. Magic suit. Zipadee zip. Magic suit. I mean EVERYTHING. I would just cry at night time bc I just wanted to sleep. We did the same thing by putting her in her own room and I was so sick the first night that my husband slept on the nursery floor so I could feel more comfortable and sleep (I didn’t but bless his heart). I realized the ONLY thing she wanted when she woke up was to be asleep. The more we tried to “help” her the more mad she would get that she wasn’t asleep. We like you had to just let her cry it out a little and figure it out. She would do the same scream talking thing too lol. One day it just clicked and she just slept. I can’t say it’s anything we did or didn’t do. Hang in there. When I read your posts it brings me right back to that time. I know that feeling of thinking it’s never gonna change. We dealt with it for 3 looooong months. Hugs!
Hey Ali. Not sure if you will read this bc I see you got so many comments and I couldn’t read them all to see if I duplicating the same advice. But e went through this same exact thing. We tried it all. Sleep trainer. All the different outfits. Magic suit. Zipadee zip. Magic suit. I mean EVERYTHING. I would just cry at night time bc I just wanted to sleep. We did the same thing by putting her in her own room and I was so sick the first night that my husband slept on the nursery floor so I could feel more comfortable and sleep (I didn’t but bless his heart). I realized the ONLY thing she wanted when she woke up was to be asleep. The more we tried to “help” her the more mad she would get that she wasn’t asleep. We like you had to just let her cry it out a little and figure it out. She would do the same scream talking thing too lol. One day it just clicked and she just slept. I can’t say it’s anything we did or didn’t do. Hang in there. When I read your posts it brings me right back to that time. I know that feeling of thinking it’s never gonna change. We dealt with it for 3 looooong months. Hugs!
Hi ,
So my little one had a hard time when we moved her into her own crib. And I was getting zero sleep. Anytime she moved she would wake herself up. And she liked being swaddled but I didn’t feel comfortable swaddling her in a blanket, cause she moved so much. And she always wanted to roll to her stomach. So my doctor told us about a blanket called the miracle blanket !! And it was a miracle ! It kept her still on her back, and I wasn’t nervous about it becoming undone. And it kept her tight and snug which she loved. And from that night on she slept like a pro ! And this mommy was finally getting some sleep 🙂 I don’t know if this is something that would help you but it helped me, and when it comes to sleep us moms got to stick together ! Little molly is adorable 🙂
Oh Bless Your Heart…my son is now 18 years old and I am still haunted by the sleepless days and nights. I have a friend that had the same issue and tried using essential oils. Young Living has one called Gentle Baby that you rub on the bottom of their feet…she said it worked wonders. You can order online from their website. Good Luck…it does eventually get better!
I can recommand osteopathic therapy..my son (now nearly 7) didn’t sleep through until the First therapy sessIon and IT helped also with other issues.wish you the best.Nadine
We had a very similar problem with our daughter. She was “sleeping” in our room in her rock n play right next to our bed, but none of us were really sleeping. Because every time either of us would move, she would stir, and every time she would stir, we would wake up. We were zombies and starting to really feel the effects of sleep deprivation, and finally decided-around her 6 month birthday-we had to move her into her own room. And our little baby that only ever took 20 minute cat naps and would wake every hour throughout the night began taking a three hour nap and sleeping 8 hours through the night before she’d wake to eat, and then would go back down for another three hours! It was life changing! I still had to get up for my MOTN pump but could finally do that without disturbing her.
After the big move I realized that the real reason I had not wanted to move her to her own room was because I was too scared to lose that illusion of control. I wanted her close so I could make sure she was breathing if the anxiety over that appeared, or so I could pick her up and comfort her or protect her should the need arise. But I had to remind myself that it’s impossible to control everything, and know in my heart that no matter what I’d do my best at being her mommy, and that, alone, was enough. Every situation is different, but for us, the best thing for her and for us was for her to have her own space. The first few nights were hard and very sleepless for me, but like with most things, you adapt and keep moving forward (We have a nest cam in her room, so I can still reassure myself that she is ok and still breathing). She is a completely different child now that she is sleeping. Everyone is so much happier.
Best of luck to you! No matter what you decide, just remember that you’re doing great, mama! ?
I would definitely put her in her own room. Think of all the working moms then have to go back to work after maternity leave I need to do that transition before they go back to work. I did the transition at two months old. It makes it a lot easier to let them cry for a little bit longer. You have to understand the babies are very smart and manipulative. They know exactly what they are doing believe it or not it’s hard to imagine that because they are such little beings but trust and believe they know. I am a psychiatrist and human behavior is very interesting. I was never one to let my boy cry but he was in his own room and I did the best I could knowing what my own limitations were. good luck. It will happen I promise
Hi Ali!
I was also blessed with a crummy sleeper. No one knows how truly hard parenting a bad sleeper is unless they have been in your shoes and I can tell you (after 18 months of it), it sucks! I know a bunch of people suggested it but The sleepeasy solution was the only book that worked for us. We tried doing a more gentle sleep training approach and it didn’t work and then we tried doing Ferber (i.e. Controlled checks, no feeding) and my girl is so stubborn, she would cry for HOURS (and so would I). Finally at 9 months, we used Sleepeasy solution to nightween since my daughter was waking up at the 3 hour mark like clockwork and she started sleeping through the night! It didn’t last very long since she then had 7 consecutive ear infections but it was glorious at the time!! Good luck, Mama, I feel your tired, tired pain.
P.S. My crummy sleeper is also a really funny, smart, strong willed toddler now and I wouldn’t have it any other way!
I had the same problem with my little guy. Started sleeping through the night at 3 months then at around 5 months he was up a good 75% of the night. I researched everything then finally someone had mentioned spa music. We had previously tried different baby music and even white noise which didn’t help. That night we tried spa music and it worked! He’s now 10 months and still sleeps through the night with his spa music! Good luck, I hope everything works out 🙂
Ali I would love to know about your nap training. I currently have a miserable 11 week old 30 minute napper and I don’t know what to do!
My baby is 5 months now and she would wake up in the middle of the night too and she wasn’t hungry but she wouldn’t be able to self soothe herself back to sleep. My pediatrician was a big proponent of letting her cry it out so she could learn to self soothe and I was really hesitant because like you said it tears at your heartstrings ? my pediatrician was sure it would only take 1 to 2 nights to “train” her and she would sleep though the night after that so I tried it. You have to be able to stomach listening to her cry for so long but let me tell u- it worked! At around 4 months I did it and it took 2 nights- each night she cried for a little over an hour (!?) until she fell back asleep and since then she’s been the best baby!! She sleeps for 10-12 hours a night! (I breastfeed/ give pumped bottles except for 1 formula bottle in the middle of the day). My pediatrician said that letting her cry but eventually soothing her myself would just prolong her crying and not teach her to self soothe. Of course you have to do what works for you and every baby and mommy is different and I had the backing of a pediatrician who has tons of experience and I love and trust 100% which helped to get through those 2 nights.. Good luck! I know how difficult and exhausting it can be ?
I would start with food allergies especially if your breastfeeding. For my son this was nuts, eggs and gluten. Gluten can stay in their system for over 6 months so you wouldn’t necessarily see changes overnight. Also, check your beauty products for these common allergens.
Hi Ali!
I don’t have a ton of suggestions, but I do have a few. I think things will get better when you move her to her crib and out of your room. I know it’s hard! We did it at 8 weeks because we got the AngelCare movement monitor so I was okay with it. She wasn’t able to smell me that way and started sleeping through the night! Molly is too close to you and is able to smell you right now. Also, separate feeding from bedtime when you first put her down. Meaning feed her about 20-30 minutes before you lay her down, and most suggest laying down awake.
Also, do you still swaddle? My baby girl is 8 months and we use the zipadeezip! It’s loose enough she is able to roll around but still helps with the startle reflex.
There is also a sleep group on FB you could join (or someone in your family could join for you so you aren’t bombarded) that you can ask questions and get some help from! https://www.facebook.com/groups/troublesometots/
I hope you get some sleep soon!
I feel your sleep deprived pain. It’s so crazy though- you’re so so SO sleepy but yet so so SO in love with your little one who is causing it all! I’ve never been so in love with my little boy. We have an almost 1 year old (blog (December 3rd) and a 2 1/2 year old boy… Exhausting!!! But so worth it. Our littlest guy has FINALLY dropped to 1 middle of the night feeding. He has only slept through the night 3 times ? Just make sure to get as much rest as sweet Molly allows. She is adorable. I watch your snapchats with my littlest and he giggles and smiles every time he sees her. So cute how kids have their own little language. There is a group on Facebook- Respectful Sleep Training that has helped a bunch (not sure if someone has told you about it) that you may want to check out. Sending warm thoughts your way and wishes of sleep filled nights for all of us?
Have you ever heard of or looked into aware parenting methods?
The concept it that babies need to process their days and emotions just like we do– we have the capability to talk it out with friends, our spouse, have a glass of wine, etc. Babies only have crying. So if you hold them in arms and help them talk through this processing it helps with more restful sleeps, less crying, etc.
If you google “aware parenting” you should find their website and they will certainly explain it better than me!
It’s a great alternative if you aren’t quite ready or up for “crying it out”
Hi Ali,
I have a 9 month old who has slept through the night since we sleep trained at 6 1/2 months. At about 6 weeks old, she went through a phase when she would NOT sleep unless she was being held. Not good for mama’s sanity! We were desperate during that phase and bought a Dock-a-Tot. It was a life saver. It simulates being held for the baby. We used it until we sleep trained (we employed the rip the band-aid off method of making all our big sleeping changes at once and she was getting kind of big for it). When we traveled, we just brought the Dock-a-Tot, plopped it in a crib or pack n play and she didn’t know she was sleeping anywhere different.
Other suggestions: sound machine, lavender (we use a lavender lotion after bath but I’ve also heard of people putting a couple drops of lavender essential oil on the crib sheet or in a diffuser) and a bedtime routine (we do bath, get dressed in pajamas, I give her a bottle while daddy reads 2 books, then bed).
It’s a personal choice for your family, but we moved our daughter to her own room at 8 weeks old. When she was in our room, I would hear every little movement or sound and didn’t get any sleep. We had an Owlet but couldn’t use it because she had to wear a harness for hip dysplasia that covered her feet (hips are fine now). We have a video monitor and at first I kept the sound turned on low but that kept me awake (I’m a light sleeper even when I’m not worrying about my baby). My OB/GYN told me not to worry about not hearing her cry and just turn the sound off. Finally I did and I slept so much better. If I wake up and want to check on her I can check the monitor next to the bed or walk down the hall.
Best thing I ever did was buy those night time diapers put desitin on my kids and put another diaper over the nighttime diaper.(to prevent leaks) She may be waking up because she is wet. Bath time only happened at night, it relaxed them after daddy played with them in the evening. After I did this and added a little cereal to a bottle my kids slept through the night. And, yes I added cereal at 4 months old. Didn’t hurt her one bit as she is now in college on the deans least;)
I had the same trouble with my first child.
I had ten years until my second and I watched my sister and learned about the Montessori methods.
With my second daughter, I made a bed for her which was a mattress on the floor. We made it cute, like a trundle at the base of her twin daybed. I would nurse her to sleep and lay with her until she went into deep sleep at 7:00 pm. She would always fall asleep at 7:00 if I was careful not to let her nap after 5:00 pm.
With her bed being on the floor I could easily sneak away and turn on the monitor. When she would wake up, I would either go back and lay with her, nursing, or I would bring her to my bed and let her nurse while we slept. Yes sometimes she nursed all night and that was hard but not as hard as no sleep. At least I could sleep and burn calories at the same time. ☺️
With this method she nursed until 27 months and I weaned her after just two nights of refusing to nurse.
She never cried herself to sleep. Now she is three and she usually comes to my room in the middle of the night. But her dad and I are not disturbed by it. She just crawls in and goes back to sleep.
I have a baby girl who is a couple weeks younger than Molly. Right now she sleeps in a Pack N Play in our room. She cut out her overnight feeding awhile ago but still would be wide awake at night and wouldn’t sleep. She was this way from night one! There were nights she was up until 3 or 4 AM but then would sleep all day. I feel your pain. She now will fall asleep after a long nursing session. She usually does that about 10:30. We started using the Halo Sleep Sack. It is colder where I am than where you are, but it helps her feel cozy I think. We used to use the swaddle blankets with the Velcro but she’d get mad if her arms were swaddled and is moving around too much now. I like the Sleep Sack because she can still move around but there are no loose blankets. She still wakes up several times a night but as soon as I give her the pacifier she’s out again. But she does this about 5 times a night. My husband thinks the bedtime bath stuff has helped because the nights we used it she fell asleep on her own after being put down still awake. Good luck!
Wow all the love and comments on here are amazing!! I’m expecting right now and LOVE reading your mommy thoughts, Ali 🙂 thanks for keeping it real! You’re an amazing mom and doing a beautiful job. Re: sleep – when she is talking/fussing/awake at night and seems to want to feed, perhaps just for comfort, have you tried just doing that? Sounds silly, and I know there’s a zillion sleep systems and such out there that many have found helpful, but I think sometimes babies do truly just need some comfort feeding and a little skin to skin time – it’s actually incredible good for babies, biologically! Have you tried skin to skin to help soothe her to sleep? It’s such a wonderful thing for babies of ALL ages, not just new newborns. Sometimes little ones just want to be close and know you’re there, and that’s all they need to soothe and fall asleep 🙂 Every baby is different, but maybe this strategy would help sweet little Molly!
All that to say – trust your instincts, and trust hers too. Sometimes I think we need our babies’ closeness as much as they need ours 🙂 YOU GOT THIS, MAMA! Hugs to you, and I’m hoping y’all find some great solutions for everyone to get more sleep; I can’t imagine how you’re feeling!
Hi Ali,
Welcome to the joys of Parenthood, I promise it gets better, sleep is in your future. My son is 18 months and finally sleeps thru the night. It wasn’t till he hit a year that he started to do that. Of course teething, growth spurts, colds can all disrupt that. When I can get at least 6 hours I’m so thankful! Here are some tips that help my husband and I.
*Sound machine, Im sure Molly has one. Babies like background noises.
*We do the cry it out method and encourage self soothing, our son loves his pacifier
Bedtime routine, bath(which I think helps a lot, really relaxes them) pj’s, book, dim lighting
*Make sure they are well fed and have enough liquids before bed
We didn’t transition our son to his crib till 10 months, we were late. Now he loves his crib. Sounds like you are doing everything right and do what works for you. Also being a first time parent the first year is such a learning experience. Your not alone, Molly is so precious!
I just wanted to echo what everyone has said about babywise. I started using this method with my daughter when she was about 2 months and she responded very well to it. I didn’t follow it perfectly but just took away some ideas and catered it to my daughter. I moved my daughter to the crib at 4 months and it was life challenging for both of us. She did really well in her own room and is a great sleeper to this day. Do you know if she is showing any signs of teething? My daughter was an early teether and I remember her being so cranky and not sleeping for weeks before she actually got a tooth in. Once I established this pattern everytime she teethed it finally all made sense to me. I know and remember how overwhelming this stage is but hang in there because once you establish healthy sleep patterns at night I can promise you there will be long sleep stretches again.
Hi Ali,
I feel you! I remember when my daughter wasn’t sleeping (she’s almost 9 months now) and now…she just is. It sounds like you guys have hit the 4 month sleep regression; I remember dreading night time because I hated all of the wake ups. I just wanted to comment regarding the AAP sleep recommendations. It’s a little odd that they just started to emphasize the rooming in recommendation. The studies that were done on that were in the early 90’s, BEFORE the back to sleep recommendation that dramatically reduced the incidence of SIDS. If you feel like you all would sleep better with Molly in her own room, do it! We planned to keep our daughter in our room waaay longer than we did. We also have the owlet, and a video monitor that we keep on all night, and a bunch of other anxiety monitors, but she totally sleeps better in her own bed.
The other thing I would suggest, and I think other people said this too, is pick something you feel comfortable with and stick with it. There are so. many. sleep programs out there. Many, many moms in one of my mommy groups used the Happy Sleeper and loved it. My brother in law is currently using the Sleep Easy Solution and it is working well. I’ve heard Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby (I think that’s the name; it’s by Weissbluth) recommended over and over. Of course there’s also the famous Ferber; I have had many friends use him with success. If you prefer no-cry, you could do the pick up put down method or No Cry Sleep Solution (but keep in mind that cry methods are typically way faster). If you choose a CIO method I think you need to commit and remind yourself that you are teaching Molly a valuable skill and you all will be happier and healthier for it! Hang in there!! Lack of sleep is sooooo tough. You guys will make the choice that’s right for you!
Hi Ali!
It’s tough being a mom for the first time. Our son is 12 yrs. old now and I still remember the sleep struggles we had with him the first four months like it was yesterday! It seemed like everyone else’s baby was sleeping except ours. We used the book “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Marc Weissbluth. It was recommended by several friends who had successfully used its cry it out method successfully. It saved all of us! In just one week, we went from having a baby who had slept only 3 hours at a time to one who was sleeping 10 hours a night. It was incredible! He cried for 2 hours straight the first night and it was one of the hardest things we have ever had to do, but it worked! He remains an amazing sleeper and we continue to be a well rested family. Many of the hardest things we do as parents are what is best for our children. Training our baby to sleep was one of the most important skills we have taught him. “Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” is worth the read. It was a life saver for this family from Canada! All the best Ali!
Hi Ali! Love your blog. My son, Austin, is two weeks younger than Molly and we’re struggling with the exact same challenges. He’s fine going down for bed but wakes frequently. We EBF as well. I’m thinking about a very light cry it out method for sleep training but I struggle with knowing the right time and when cutting night feedings is OK. I found this article helpful as I work through the practical and emotional side of the challenge!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.buzzfeed.com/amphtml/patricksmith/its-evolution-baby?client=safari
Good luck!
Best,
Ally
Ali, has Molly been to the doctor lately? It’s possible she has an ear infection. My son is a week older than Molly. We assumed he was in the sleep regression but turns out he has a double ear infection. He was fine during the day, but I guess laying flat can cause pressure while they have an ear infection so that’s the only time he was acting differently! He’s on meds now and hopefully back to himself in a few days
Wow, you have a lot of comments on this write up!! Hi Ali! I know this is the hardest time you honestly will ever have…. I remember people saying to me, “ohhhh just wait till she is a toddler then parenting gets really hard” NOPE. Having a baby that does not sleep was the hardest time of my life!! I truly believe it is just who the baby is, not anything that you are doing wrong. We had a lot of the same patterns as you, my daughter, Luca slept next to my bed (or coslept with my boob as a soother…..ugh! Once I just couldn’t do it anymore I tried moving her into her own room, and that made it worse because she was up every two hours and i had to walk!! haha…. geez, it’s just so hard. One day, Molly will miraculously sleep through the night. NOTHING anyone said to me worked, I just followed my heart and woke up with her for a year and was a walking zombie. It was different for me because I was a single mom, and on maternity leave for a year so i napped with her everyday, had nowhere to go, and no one else to please! The only advise I can give you is to meditate, drink lots of coffee, and KNOW that this will end and you will WEIRDLY miss it. Good luck mama.
Disclaimer: Luca is 6 now, and still wakes usually once through the night! But she is beautiful and so caring and worth every single yawn. xoxo
Hey there!
I don’t know if you’ll see this comment but I have such a heart for other moms going through this that I just wanted to jump in.
I have two girls (2 and 8 months). My 2 year old did not sleep through the night until 19 months old. She would be up three, four, five times a night. I felt like it must be me (I felt like a failure) and we tried everything. Nothing worked on this child. One day she just started sleeping and that was that.
When my second she came home from the hospital and began sleeping through the night immediately and still does. Immediately I realized how much the personality of my girls played into their sleeping habits.
My oldest is more high strung and does not want to miss out. She has series fomo and she actually is able to function on very little sleep.
Anyway all I’m trying to say is sometimes it’s not you and sometimes it’s not about a method. Some kids are bad sleepers and it’s the worst. Parents who have not had one of these just don’t understand.
Hang in there! They do eventually sleep!
PS. I moved my girls at 1 month and 2 months and it worked out fine. ?
My sister was having the same issue. She took out all the bright colors and toys in the nursery and noticed a difference. Good Luck!
Take her to a pediatric chiropractor! Adjustments have worked wonders for us! ICPA4kids.org is a good place to start when looking for one.
Have her sleep in a zippadee-zip. Amazing product and will help her self soothe. https://www.sleepingbaby.com
Hi Ali!
I had a similar experience as you with my firstborn daughter. She slept with us in our bedroom and constantly woke up at night. It was to a point where I was so exhausted, I had to quit my full time job and become a stay at home mom. She too was waking up every hour. She is now three years old and looking back in retrospect, I think it really was her sensing me and wanting to nurse for comfort. As I’ve seen her personality develop over the years, I realize she’s somewhat of a needy child. It’s very sweet and endearing but as an infant it drove me nuts! Perhaps Molly too has a similar personality where she wants to stay close to those she loves?
Best of luck!
I have an 8 week old that sleeps through the night now. It is in big part to a company called Moms On Call. LIFE CHANGING! The schedule is so key along with their special way of swaddling. They are from Atlanta and big in the south. I tell all my new mom friends because I feel like I can’t keep this to myself.
Hey Ali! I am dying to know where you bought the bow headbands from for Molly? She is a doll!!!!!
My LO is a July 4th baby so same age. She has been in her room sleeping all night since 7 weeks. Baby wise is for the birds! Ha! Buuuttt… one thing I took from it was the dream feed. HIGHLY recommend! Basically, put baby in bed at normal bed time and then get baby out of bed for feeding 3 to 4ish hours later. If baby is in bed at 9, get baby at 12 for dream feed. Don’t change diaper and don’t actually fully wake baby. This prolongs the sleep. It’s easier to stay up and feed baby at 12 vs going to sleep and waking up tired at 2. When dream feeding baby wakes up between 4am and 5am and eventually 6 and so on. After a while, ween baby from dream feeding.
Obvi, every baby is different. But it worked for Hazel and. (Hazel is my babe) 🙂
Ps. Hopefully you’ll see this and it’s something new to try.
Hi Ali! I have no advice, as my little one still isn’t the greatest sleeper.
However, may I ask where you got this adorable onesie?!