Will I ever sleep through the night again? Back when Molly was a newborn, I thought for sure I would get to sleep with a 6 month old – only newborns get up all night right? WRONG! I was so so wrong. I guess that’s a big pat of motherhood, learning as you go. I often find myself sitting in Molly’s room in the middle of the night and asking myself if I will ever sleep again. I know I will, but right now it doesn’t feel that way. Anyway, I figured now would be a good time to give you guys an update on Molly’s sleeping patterns. In hopes that other moms reading it this can get some insight into their baby’s sleeping routine or offer some advice for me! And as always with all my motherhood blogs, I’m hoping we can all help each other out in the comments and give each other advice on things that have worked for you and your little one.
So here’s what’s going on with Molly. She’s still regularly waking up 2 to 3 times a night. Sometimes 4 to 5 times a night. We are working on sleep training but it’s so hard for me to listen to her cry and not go to her. And even when I do try to let her cry, I usually break down after 15-20 minutes and go in and feed her. I know that’s the worst possible thing I could do because it just reinforces that if she cries for a long time, I’ll eventually come. But I’m working on it and I’m hoping that with a little tough-love I will get Molly sleeping better soon.
We were actually doing pretty well a month ago and she was sleeping up to 8 hours straight at one point (ok this only happened that 3 or 4 times, but it was AMAZING!). But then she started teething. Oh the dreaded teething! We figured that she was going to cut a tooth soon because she started drooling so much! And of course she wanted to put everything in her mouth. When we went to the pediatrician, she confirmed that Molly was in fact teething. She knew this because Molly’s gums were a little puffy and red. And sure enough a week and a half later Molly cut her first tooth. And soon after her 2nd tooth!
While we were at the pediatrician, she asked us about Molly’s sleep schedule. And we told her things weren’t going so great. She suggested we try sleep training, which we sort of have been on and off for the past month or two. But the doctor also told us not to do sleep training while Molly was teething. I’m not so sure if this is good advice or bad advice based on what I’ve read online. But I took the advice and really stopped sleep training all together for the past 2 weeks. Looking back, I think that was a mistake. When Molly wakes up in the middle of the night she’s not screaming in pain. She’s really just whining because she wants me to come in and be with her. And since we left doctors office, Molly’s sleep has gotten so bad. She averaged waking up twice a night before that and now she’s waking up anywhere from 3 to 4 times a night. I think it’s because she knows if she cries I will go get her. She’ll usually eat but I don’t think she’s actually hungry. I say that because last night went like this…
She went to bed at 6:30 PM. She usually goes to bed at 7pm, but she was sooo tired last night. Then she woke up around 9:30 and I fed her. And then she woke up again around 1 AM and I fed her again. After that I decided I wasn’t going to feed her again until it was time to get up for the day around 630 or 7 AM. She woke up twice between 1 AM till 6:30 AM and I didn’t get her. She put herself back to sleep after about 10 mins of whining each time. Then, at 6:30 AM I woke her up for the day but I didn’t feed her right away just to see what would happen. Was she starving and did she need to eat? And that’s why she was waking up so much? Or did she just want me around. I learned that she wasn’t starving at all. Because when she got up for the day at 6:30am, I put her on her play mat and she was totally content for 30 minutes until I fed her at 7 AM. So this let me know that I definitely don’t need to be feeding her every three hours throughout the night, she’s not starving, she just wants her mommy.
With this new information I’m really going to try to let her put her self back to sleep when she wakes up in the middle of the night. Yes, it’s really hard to hear her cry. But I know that she knows how to soothe herself and I have to help her learn that she has to do it herself and mommy is not always going to be there. It’s my job as her mother to not only be there for her but to help her be there for herself. I think that’s one of the most important lessons we can teach our children and it’s never too early to start.
And the thing is, I know Molly knows how to soothe herself. I always put her down drowsy but not asleep and during her naps in the daytime if she wakes up too early she will suck her thumb and put herself back to sleep. If she can do it during the day with her naps, then she surely should be able to do it in the middle of the night. We also have a great bedtime routine that last about 3o mins. Bath – massage – lavender oil on feet, nurses, bedtime song, sleep. She also sleeps with white noise and gets PLENTY of food during the day.
I also need to transition her out of her Merlin Magic Sleep Suit soon. We loved using the sleep suit as a transition out of the swaddle, but now Molly is starting to rock back-and-forth in the middle of the night when she wakes herself up and is almost flipping over to her stomach. I know that that means it’s time to transition her out of the Merlin. Any moms out there have advice for how to do this? I have this sleep sack for her to sleep in (let me know if you’ve had experience with this kind of sleep suit post Merlin) and I did try it one night a few nights ago but she didn’t sleep well at all. And she sleeping so bad in general right now that it terrifies me to take her out of the Merlin Magic sleep suit. Any advice you guys could offer would be so amazing!
Anyway, that’s what’s going on in my world. It all revolves around Molly and her sleep schedule! I know you parents out there can relate. Will we ever sleep again? I think we will, but for now I’m just gonna have to remember that the sleepless nights won’t last forever and my nighttime cuddle sessions with Molly are something I’m going to look back on and miss. So I’m just going to soak it all up and enjoy every moment while I can.
And since SO many of you are asking me on instagram, THIS is where I got Molly’s play mat. Figured this blog post was a good place to share because it’s all about Molly and babies! Also, SO many people ask me about Molly’s bows when I post a picture of her. Most of the them are from THIS SHOP and THIS SHOP – both small businesses owned by women! Woot woot! Both women messaged me recently and said that code ALI20 will get you 20% off their bows! Just thought I would share đ I love Molly’s bows! She’s wearing one from one of the shops below đ And she’s in her adorable teepee own by THIS small business owner!
Ok now I am shamelessly asking for all your advice!!! Can you get sleep with a 6 month old? What sleep solutions worked for your little one? Let’s discuss in the comment below!
UPDATE: Here is my main question. Do you guys think I should put her in her room at 7pm and not go back in until 7am? Or feed her at least once in the night? Or is that confusing? Like if I go in sometime but not every time so she will still cry every time because she doesn’t know if I’ll come or not. Let me know your thoughts!
While you are here, read all my other motherhood blogs HERE.
We used a Zippadee Zip after the Merlin sleepsuit for our son who is now 7 months. He has been sleeping in it since he was five months because he was able to roll. He loved it and the arms and feet are made so that they can roll easily in it
same here! we love the Zipadee Zip! My son and daughter both loved it.
We used the ZipaDeeZip after my son outgrew the Magic Merlin, too. It helped, but my son was also a terrible sleeper. His sleep got much better at around 11 months, and he’s now 14 months. He was very similar to Molly- waking 3-4 times a night. I felt like a zombie 24 hours a day. I don’t have any good advice because I couldn’t find a way out of it either, but I can say that it will end and that I empathize with you! We liked the ZipaDee and used it for a couple months. Hang in there! PS I’m a longtime fan and enjoy reading your blog!
We used the Zipadeezip as well!
Zipadee-zip helped for my 6m old daughter too. I still go in once a night or so because she gets stuck on her belly.
We used the zipa dee zip as well. Worked like a charm! Babies still feel confined but it is safe to roll and move around in.
Zipadee-Zip!
I just bought a zippadee- zip on the recommendation from a friend, so I am stoked to see all of the positive feedback in here. My daughter is 5 months and has almost the exact same patterns as Molly, so I am taking some of this advice as well!
Our little guy is 18 months now and was just like Molly. We started the zippy zip at 7 months old and he still sleeps in one to this day. Amazing and a total gift from above!!!
Yup, the Zipadee Zip def works. My 5.5 son used to wake up a few times a night after we stopped swaddling him in the Halo sleep swaddle at 4 months. We tried the Merlin suit, but that didnt really work too well for us. We just got the Zip, and now he’s back to sleeping through the night again! I used to have to nurse him back to sleep each time because that’s the only way he would sleep again, but I knew that he wasn’t hungry. It was more of a comfort thing. You should try it!
We love the Zipadeezip!!!!
Mom life can be tough!! Sounds like you are doing everything with love. Stay strongâ¤ď¸
If molly sucks her thumb she already has the self-soothing concept down . She just misses you at night. Maybe try letting her cry it out all night (each time she wakes up) except for around 4 am. She will find her thumb they know how to do that when they want to!! Also, have you tried taking her out for fresh air in the early evening. That may help??
I’m a mom of a 4 year old and a 7 month old girl. Around 5-6 months the baby went through a growth spurt, which caused her to wake up more often in the middle of the night to eat (not fun for a full time working mom, lol). That lasted about a week, thank goodness!! Neither of my girls cared for swaddling, they both are tummy sleepers. Have you thought about putting her on her stomach and not in a swaddle/body suit? My thoughts are they aren’t going to be in those long and need to get used to being ‘out in the open’, if you want to call it that. My 7 month old is sleeping through the night now bc we quit going into her room every time she started fussing. We knew she wasn’t hungry, needed a diaper change or hurt, so we just shut her door and let her cry. It was heart breaking but I knew I had to put an end to it since I get up at 4:30 every morning for work. It only lasted that one night, which she cried on and off for about an hour but she finally put herself back to sleep and hasn’t done it since! Good luck!!
I was going to suggest trying putting her on her tummy too. I have a 3 year old son and an 8 month old daughter. I can totally relate Ali because my son woke up frequently during the night until he was one and still woke up 1-2 times until he was two and then finally started sleeping through the night. I, too, had such a hard time with sleep training/letting him cry it out. With my second, I was lucky that she started out a much better sleeper than my soon but at 4 months, when I went back to teaching, she started waking up more and was up anywhere from 2-5 times a night, depending on the night which was tough. I was always lying her down on her back but lately she was rolling into her stomach at some point in the night and one night about a week ago, she did it early in the night and ended up sleeping the whole night from 8:00 to 7:30. I couldn’t believe it and thought maybe it was a fluke but tried laying her down on her belly the next night and sure enough she slept through again. I’ve been doing it now for the last week and she’s sleeping through every night. I hear her stirring from time to time on the monitor but she self soothes and goes back quickly, never crying or needing me to go in. Hang in there. It may not seem like it right now but, as I e learned, the time goes by SO fast and before you know it she’ll be sleeping like a champ and you’ll be looking back wondering how you survived.
I was going to suggest the Zipadee Zip too! We have 6 month old twins and love them. Hang in there!!
We just started talking to a sleep consultant and she said we are going to have to ditch the Merlin asap. I don’t know what she’ll say about the Zipadee Zip. I’ll ask!
She will love the zipadeezip! My 6 month old son gets so excited when he sees it. I’m going to have someone use the fabric to make a pillow or lovey out of it when he has outgrown it because he loves it so much!
Thank you so much for recommending the Zipadee-Zip, Karly! I am so glad it is working well for your little one! That is great to hear! If you have any questions about the Zipadee-Zip, Ali, I would love to answer them. Please send me an e-mail at support@sleepingbaby.com. Thank you so much! đ
We never used the zipadeezip, although I know lots of people who swear by it. The Merlin suit only worked for us for less than a week – once my son could roll over onto his stomach, he was trying to do that in the suit and would just get frustrated. We didn’t have a zipadeezip or sleep sack on hand, so we just put him to bed without anything and he rolled onto his stomach and has slept pretty well like that for the past month or so (he’s 6 1/2 months old). Our doctor said it was fine for him to sleep on his stomach as long as he could roll to his stomach and back again on his own. Starting solids has seemed to help his sleep too.
Don’t worry what the trainer says. Our sleep trainer wasn’t keen on any type of “sleep sack” but we trusted our gut and now he actually points to it when he’s ready for bed!
Hey Allie, how did the sleep therapist work out? Did it help?
I would love to send a baby jack lovey to help her self soothe. Babyjackco.com
OMG everyone loves the ZippaDeeZip thingy! I have 3month old twins and am going to buy 2 now! Wow! Good luck Ali!
Hi Ali!
First off I never reply to blogs or even write comments, but after reading this post blog I wanted too! So a friends friend used the Merlin Sleep suit, long story short their baby was at the same place as Molly (as in close to rolling), however one night she got completely over…. thank the Lord her parents saw on the monitor. From what I was told when they went to the baby she was blue from flipping over and not being able to use her arms (bc of the Merlin) to get herself over. Parents got to her just in time, and she survived!!! It made my heart stop when I heard this, so I’d really consider getting Molly out of the Merlin asap bc it’s only a matter of time when she will roll at night.
I recently purchased the zippidee zip, in a adorable floral pattern…. my daughter who is 5 and half months seem to really like it! She can still suck her hand through the material and get her wubbanub in her mouth!!!
Best luck!! PS I’m so dreading Ella (my sweet lil one) teething! Ugh!
Thanks for the blog! There are my 2 cents, hope it helps!
Hi there ! Normally I don’t reply but since our little are around the same age I thought I’d give my two cents.. take it or leave it of course :). My girl started dropping night feeds when we transitioned her into her crib at 3.5 months , we hit a sleep regression at 4 months and she was waking 4-5 times a night which lasted a month! She also was sleeping in Merlin suit . She is now formula fed (we nursed at the beginning) so some ppl think that makes a difference others don’t . I just don’t have anything to compare it to as she’s my first . Anyway… we started sleep training about 5.5 months and we did timed check ins to sooth her . So if she cried go in after 3 mins , then 5, then 10 every time after. With consistency it took us three nights before we had improvements . With sickness and teething she does wake here and there but nothing like before . We also introduced a lovey ( TINY square blanket with a stuffed owl) she uses it to self soothe , rubs on her face etc
This month we transitioned out of sleep suit starting with naps and then to sleep sack and then slowly started to wean off of that. She now sleeps in just her onesie ! It’s harder on us than them
But yes I’ve read lots that say sleep training isn’t wise if they are sick and teething.. but also you have to stick with one method and be consistent . It’s hard!! For me the timed checks were the compromise . Also my little does have a soother which she only uses to get to sleep and often takes it out herself when I lay her in the crib drowsy.
I think your instinct is right that your girl doesn’t need food it’s learned behaviour. She gets her calories during the day it’s just fine .
It does get better ! But I’ve learned to try and go with the flow cuz every two weeks is another loop!
Good luck !!
Try the Little Lotus sleep sack. I’ve given this to every one of my friend’s who has had a baby recently and they’ve loved it. They use NASA technology to help ensure the baby is at the right temperature so that they sleep better. Awesome!
We also use the Little Lotus sleep sac! What a life saver! My baby sweats like crazy when she sleeps. She always wakes up looking like she just took a bath, poor thing. Once I started using their sleep sac, she stopped waking up from being all sweaty. Love their fabric and their mission to help preemies around the world!
She will eventually sleep! My daughter was so hard to get to sleep forever she woke a ton pretty much until she turned one it changed from 2-3 to once per night and then it alternated between 1 time and none at all,.. it worked for us and now she consistently sleeps through the night she’s almost 2 and now weaned. Now my husband getsbher down at night which is great as well. We let her cry more as she got older but after 1 closer to 18 months. It’s so hard…. to hear them cry esp when they’re young. I can’t believe my girl is almost 2 I seriously can’t even remember what it was like waking up so often at night. Cherish the night wakings as weird as that sounds and don’t get too obsessed with it because it passes and changes so quickly! The zipadeepe is great as everyone said! Good luck!
Sounds to me like it’s time to really be strict with yourself about sleep training. I know it is so hard when they cry! In my experience, it will take a very few number of nights (as little as one or two) before she self-soothes. Don’t start until you’re ready to really stick with it, because you’re right that giving in after 20 minutes is the worst thing. And remember, it’s not that you’re not there for her or are being selfish; one of the most important things we give our children is good life habits, and sleep is a big one. Adults who have trouble with sleep deal with the consequences constantly. It’s for HER.
Also, when you’re through it, then when something is off you’ll be able to tell. A child who routinely sleeps through the night but then one night wakes up with gum pain, growth-spurt hunger, a fever, etc. is easier to help, because you know something’s different.
Good luck!
I think you are right. I HAVE to be more strict. It starts tonight!!!
Our pediatrician told me to stop the midnight feedings and start sleep training when our little one was 6 months. I tried it for a couple of nights but it just wasn’t sitting right with me so I couldn’t commit. I decided to keep feeding him just once in the night and if he woke any more than that to just go in, give him his binkie and a reassuring pat (no talking or stimulation). By around 10 months I just naturally loosened up and felt good with letting him cry a bit more so I quit the night nursing at that point. I was amazed at the difference a few months made in terms of my feelings and readiness. In summary, my advice would be to follow your own schedule and listen to your instincts. Eventually everything works out đ Best of luck to you.
Agreeing with this almost exactly. With my first, I took away he night feeding at 9mos and it was so hard. My husband would go in every 5 mins or so and give het a calming pat to let her know she wasn’t abandoned. But no talking or eye contact. It took a few nights and was so hard, but we got through it. I now have a 4 month old and if he wakes in the middle of the night and wines, I let him get himself back to sleep. If he starts wailing, I go give him a little pat to let him know I’m there, but don’t pick him up. I’m still feeding him once around 2am, but will most likely eliminate that at 6 months if he hasn’t done it on his own.
Also, we didn’t use he Merlin, but he was sleeping in his swing until a week ago. Getting him to sleep flat was awful. Three nights of a lot of waking up, but now he is used to it and will actually roll to his side to get himself back to sleep. Good luck. You’re doing great.
Oh my gosh I am going through the EXACT same thing right now. My baby girl is 6 months old today. Hubby says it’s time to sleep train because she wakes 3-5 times every night. I’m exhausted and have tried letting her cry but I can’t last more than 5 minutes! I always worry that she thinks I’ve abandoned her or don’t love her! Please update us on how the sleep training goes and how YOU get through doing it. I think ultimately you’ll have a harder time than Molly. Good luck…To both of us!
I am in the exact same boat! My son is 6 months old and his sleep has been so bad lately. It’s such hard because he CAN sleep through the night and used to up until around 4 months old. Then last month I tried transitioning him out of the swaddle and it did NOT go well, so he’s currently still swaddled. My husband and I have decided we are “ripping off the bandaid” and eliminating the swaddle cold turkey and sleep training him at the same time… which feels mean but he CAN sleep without his swaddle — he does it for naps. I’m so conflicted on the what sleep training method to use. I think we are starting tomorrow night and really committing to it. Good luck to you both!
Hey Ali….you can definitely get better sleep at this point but in order for sleep training to be effective and quick you need to make sure you have all your sucks in a row…nap schedule..sleep environment..nutrition..connection during the day. I’ve had two babies and both are pretty good sleepers. Its a lot of info to write here so you can reach out if you want kingship82@hotmail.com
And I ‘ll put some tips below. I’ve worked with many sleep consultants and belong to an amazing sleep Facebook group !
Hang in there mama! I have a toddler and a little one too (5months).. he still wakes up 4-5 times a night. I worried a lot with my first child about everything that I was doing at night and if it was negatively impacting sleep habits. I drove myself nuts!! Just trust your instincts! When my oldest was a baby he woke up every two hours on the dot until he was 9 months. I fed him each time he woke and all of a sudden when he learned to put his own soother in, he slept through the night and has ever since!!! Sleep training or not, they all get there! Do what works for you and your family. Believe it or not, you’ll miss the nighttime cuddles soon enough!!! Good luck!!
I’m dealing with the same thing! I’m going to be more strict (starting this weekend when I don’t have to wake up for work) in hopes it works! Our babes are 2 weeks apart đ
Don’t be so hard on yourself! My daughter is now 3, but when she was a baby I never let her cry it out. It just broke my heart too much. Everyone parents different and no ONE way is right!
You’ll get there, just be patient with yourselves. She’s only a tiny baby once!
The precious little sleep website, podcast, and Facebook page helped a ton! Did you post her daytime schedule? Our son is 5.5 months and he takes a morning nap, afternoon nap, and a short cat nap in the early evening that lasts about 30 minutes. We used to put him to bed about 7, 7:30 but I learned from the website to let the sleep pressure build up between the last nap and bed. So we put him to bed around 8:30 and he does one feed at 4 and then sleeps till 7:30. He sometimes wakes up at midnight but we turned the sound off on the video monitor so just like you said with naps, he will fuss around and fall back asleep. We only go in if he’s screaming but not if he’s just fussing. Anyway the precious little sleep website helped a lot!
I never could let my babies cry. Believe me when I say this phase is short lived and you will miss going in and feeding your sweet girl. Embrace this time. She will out grow it faster than you think. My kiddos are 11 and 8. I would love to go back in time and enjoy all those moments a little more. They fly by.
I agree with you! My 3 kids are in their 30s/40s, married and with their own children. And yes, I had many a sleepless night….2 of mine are very close in age. ‘Sleep training’ wasn’t a thing and I did not let my babies cry it out. I would go in and pick them up and/or nurse, comfort them, or bring them to bed with me. They need to know they can count on you. Babies all get there in the end, but training them to sleep? Sleep consultants for infants? Call me old fashioned but I think that’s ridiculous. Don’t be so hard on yourself, Ali, she will get there in her own time, when she is ready,, with or without sleep training and Trish is right. It flies by.
OMG! Finally a comment that makes sense!! Thank you! I have a 5 year old and 6 month old. I made very bad decisions trying to “sleep train” my oldest. Now I know better. Bottom line is this Ali: we are moms all day. That includes the night. When kids are alone in the dark they get scared… they need mommy at any time. Not just during the day. My oldest is almost 6 and he has been sleeping through the night in his bed, in his room ever since he was 2.5 years old. However I got my 6 month old to sleep through the night in his crib at 8 weeks. But i never stop myself from soothing him if he needs me. Every night he needs me at least once. I go to him, I pick him up, I feed him if he’s hungry, if he’s not I will just put him back in his crib, once he is asleep. Believe me sweetie, you will start to sleep better once you realize she just needs some comfort and to know you are there. Once they have the reassurance that you are available they stop having to constantly check. Love is always the answer. Don’t torture yourself.
It is best case that you’re ready to transition to a sleep sack and also sleep train! My son started rolling over at 4.5 months and was waking up several times a night. My husband and I were exhausted. So one night, we dropped the swaddle, put him in a sleep sack, and let him cry it out (killing two birds with one stone). Don’t get me wrong, it was awful to hear and watch…we held hands and stayed strong for each other. But after 30 minutes he fell asleep and slept for 6 hours, the next night he cried for 10 minutes and slept for 7.5 hours. This is how quickly it works! After that it was easy peasy, asleep in just a few minutes and sleeping 8 to 10 hours, typically waking up between 4-5am to nurse and then back to sleep for a few hours. We too had attempted sleep training (multiple methods) on and off for 2 months, and we just knew one night that it had to be THE night. It sounds like you are at that point…you can do it mama!
Just think it’s way easier to be strict now, then when they are older! The older they get the more they understand. I have a 1.5 year old, that has always been a decent sleeper but now for the last three or so months started waking up , an wants to stay up for 2-4 hours. When I let her cry it out she gets so upset she pukes! It’s horrible. The problem is I’ve mostly put her in bed asleep đ worst idea ever. So now I’m trying to sleep train a 1.5 year old, and she can pretty much tell me no mom this isn’t going to happen. Or I will puke! Help!!
We just recently went thru sleep training our 5 1/2 month old…. it definitely is about being strict and consistent and although very very tough, its worked like a magical charm! We used the Sleepsense program and it worked wonderfully! The manual is a very easy read and gives great pointers. Is Molly in daycare, because our little girl is and daycare babies can take a little longer with nap training because they have 2 sleep environments. Before we did the sleep training I thought my little girl was happy- but wow did she get even happier after getting good sleep! Just remember its only for her benefit! If ur nap training too then the down side is that you really should do training at a time when she will be home for at least 4 days in a row. the fact that Molly already has put herself back to sleep is a great sign that she will train well and quick! Hardest and best thing you will do!! You can check out the sleepsense program at sleepsense.net
I agree!! As hard as it may be, let her cry it out. DO NOT go in at all, in the night or it will confuse her. It will be hard for you the first few nights, but you will see, Molly will adjust, more quickly than you think she will. If you can, try to turn down the volume on her monitor. Assuming you have a camera, you can always check in on her by looking in the camera. I have 3 children, it worked for all of them! Good luck! Stay strong!
I never comment on blogs, but this caught my eye because I’m obsessed with helping moms teach babies to sleep!
One thing that helped me when we sleep trained my 6 month old was having my husband do the first night or two. I would get in the shower so I couldn’t hear the crying as much. Because you’re right, she knows how to self soothe and she’s just crying because she wants mommy. I genuinely believe teaching our babies to sleep is one of the best gifts we could ever give them! Wishing you all the luck!
Hi Ali,
Have you tried the Ferber method? I am not a fan of cry it out, but with the Ferber method you go into the room, do a little pat, pat..give a binki and leave the room….don’t take Molly out the crib…repeat this, extending the time you let her cry by a minute…eventually she will know you are there for comfort but not taking the little rascal out of her crib. You may not even need the binki and a little snuggly animal she can hold works! If she’s really wailing, then she’s probably hungry and take her out, but usually this method works! I just went thru this with my 6 month old son and he’s doing much better, he’s also going to daycare so he’s zonked out. I’ve also been giving him organic oatmeal and fruit before his bedtime spa routine, bathe, book, boob! Best of luck!
Hey Ali,
I used the Ferber method too. My sons are now 23 and 17, so I am likely the old lady on this blog. Yet to this day, they remain champion sleepers and I really believe the Ferber method was the best way to teach them how to sleep all those years ago when they were infants. The process wasn’t easy and as others have suggested, let dad take the reins for a week or so. Also, any light in the room is very distracting and not healthy for our bodies, so in case you are using a cute night light or digital i Home etc, you may want ditch it for a bit. Glad you are using white noise. It is the best! Good luck. Molly is a smart and cute little miss, so of course she knows how to get mama’s attention and love!!! Just remember you are the boss! for now anyway… : )
It takes 3 days and then your little one will be good. Since you are starting sleep training a little late she will probably cry a lot but be strong. Put her in at 7 and come back in the morning at 7. After three days she will adjust. Also, I would say no sleep sack or anything. It hinders their development and milestones in movement. Just put her to bed in her pjs and go in the morning. She will be okay. It is hard but works. We did it at 12 weeks and my son has slept through the night ever since unless teething or sick. I followed moms on call which helped. I am sure you get a lot of advice. This has worked for many of my friends as well. Good luck! Remember she will be okay.
My best parenting advice for ALL things raising children…..CONSISTENCY! Easier on everyone. A word of caution, be very mindful of what you do and say as you will be forced to stick to your word/decisions! #noidlethreats
I had three kids and my third (and only girl) was NOT a good sleeper. Sleep training sucked. She cried so long the second night (after I had committed) I climbed in the crib with her? But I was NOT getting her out to nurse. I called that night a tie.
It goes by fast, now my kids have kids. Sure didn’t seem fast at the time though!
I totally agree with Katie and think in your blogging you already answered your own questions đ It’s time for tough love sister! If you know she’s getting plenty to eat during the day, then she will be fine. If you can suffer through 2 to 3 nights of her still waking and crying, I promise it will get better! I also think now is the perfect time to ditch the Merlin suit cold turkey. Others will disagree with me here, but my kids did fine when we had to quit swaddling. Plus, if she’d already waking up multiple times a night anyway, it can’t really get worse right?? So I say just go for it and see how she does. Good luck Mama!!
I totally feel your pain! Sleep training is HARD! My little girl will be 5 months old next week & I’m trying to get her on a schedule & it’s so hard! Best of luck to you with Molly!! I hope you get some good advice đ
I’m so glad you posted this!! My son is a week older than Molly and going through the exact same thing. I think the worst thing I can do is compare myself to all the other moms who’s babies are sleeping soundly through the night at this age. I do think a big part of it is because of breast feeding… They are doing it for comfort and not so much food. When I feed my son in the middle of the night he usually starts to doze off as I’m feeding him… He is definitely tired and not really hungry, he just needs to to calm down. When I put him back in his crib he falls right back to sleep. The other night I had my husband feed him a bottle and when he put him back in his crib he cried for 30 minutes!!! I think becaus he didn’t need the food, he needed the comfort. I’m trying to sleep train too but it is hard to hear them cry, especially when the quicker/easier to just feed them and they’ll be back to sleep quicker. I don’t really have any advice for you, just that I’m in the exact same boat. Looking forward to reading the comments
Just came across your comment and could have written it myself! Just wondering if things have gotten better and what tips you’d have since my little guy is the exact same way! Thanks so much!!!
Hi Ali!
So my 7 month old was a horrible sleeper until about 5.5 months.. waking up a lot during the night. I read a bunch of books, I feel like the closest thing to a sleep expert but honestly it’s all about what works for you. If I were to be brutally honest, cold turkey is the best. Take her of the Merlin, put in a regular sleep sack and just tough it out. The Merlin at this point may actually be inhibiting her sleep because in order to soothe she might want to wiggle around, and if rolling to her tummy and back again is what she needs, thay may help. My son is a stomach sleeper and we knew this from early on. When I finally hit my wits end, we took him out of thn I swaddle into a sleep sack and sleep trained. It took 4 weeks, I thought something was going horribly wrong. Don’t always trust what you read, I know it says sleep training takes up to a couple weeks but in our case it did not. And we were so incredibly strict. Only going in if we knew he was in pain (he never was)… I also learned his cries. This helped. Honestly, my best advice is to switch to swaddle and buckle down on sleep training. Get ear plugs. Sleep downstairs. The mommy guilt is unreal but the long term goal here (sleeping) is SO IMPORTANT. This is a big parenting priority for me and we struggled for a while. Stick with it, it’s not easy but now that my son sleeps through the night 7p-7a I know it was so worth it and he’s genuinely SO much more happier. Good luck :). I’ll be interested to see how it goes! You can do it!
PS Halo Sleep Sacks are the best! They make fleece and cotton for all weather. My baby is breast fed and was teething during the process and I’ve labeled my baby months 1-4 as the toughest they come. It can be done, I promise!
My friend took her 6 month out of his Merlin and that night got a full night sleep. Turns out he loves to sleep on his side but couldn’t with the suit on. Perhaps taking Molly from her suit will allow her to find other positions that will soothe her back to sleep. My little girl is 4 months and we still use our Merlin so it’s easier said than done đ but worth a shot for your sweet Molly!
I agree with this post. We went cold turkey with the sleep suit and started using Halo sleep sacks around 4 months old. After one or two bad nighst, she has slept through the night ever since! I think she likes being able to wiggle, turn to her stomach or side, and get comfortable in different positions while she sleeps. Think about it – we like to move and sleep in different positions while we sleep, right?! Also – sleep training is terrible, but after a couple bad nights, it will be SO worth it!! I haven’t had to feed my daughter in the middle of the night since 4 or 5 months old. Good luck!! Sweet Molly is precious!!
My daughter is 4.5 months and I’m going crazy getting up so much. Have you sleep trained your 4 months old?
“Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child,” was my bible. First child was a horrible sleeper. Slept exactly 59 min ever day during morning and afternoon nap times –not a minute more,– and completely abandoned naps at a year. He was easy to put down at night after a simple bath, book, feeding routine, but was up multiple times throughout the night to feed. At approximately 6 months –when I knew he wasn’t hungry or wet,– I found myself sleeping on the floor next to his crib, popping in his pacifier every time he woke up –which was increasingly often, since I was right there at his beck and call. At my wits end, I took him to my mother’s house where I slept in her bed with her while she practically held me down so I wouldn’t go to him. The crying and attempted self-soothing lasted the weekend –45 min the first night, 30 the next etc. It was all steps forward from there. Today, he’s an early riser, but a joy to put to bed and easily sleeps through the night. 2 years later, I had a lot less patience and sympathy with my second child. Although a great sleeper –when she slept,– she was impossibly unpredictable and stubborn. Any routine I attempted was pointless. I gave up being home for morning and afternoon naps since I spent an hour trying to get her to go to sleep to no avail, only to have her fall asleep in the stroller for 3 hours on her way to, from and during her older brother’s soccer class. She slept when she wanted, where she wanted and for however long she wanted. We did the “Healthy Sleep Habits…” sleep training earlier with the second because I was ready earlier –and so damn tired! One night would be great and she’d sleep through the night. The next, she’d cry for 2 hours. It was exhausting, and certainly not helpful for our 2 year old son who had to share a room with her. I finally decided I’d never heard of any child dying from crying, put her bassinet as far away from all of us as possible, –we lived in a big, open loft with the bedrooms in the back,– checked on her around 11pm before bed and went to sleep. My husband was up around 5:30am daily. Sometimes he’d find her sound asleep, sometimes whining as if she’d just awakened and other times wailing as if she’d been up for hours. He’d bring her in to me if she was awake where she would nurse and be all smiles in no time. For my part, I was well rested and ready to tackle the day with 2 little ones. Today she is the world’s best sleeper –Olympic caliber. Can sleep around the clock, anywhere and through anything. When you reach your wits end and can no longer function as a rational human being –sleeping on the floor is a sure sign,– it’s time to bite the bullet. You’ll get there. Only masochists and martyrs don’t.
Hi Ali! I feel your pain! I have a 7 month old little girl (Giselle) and she still wakes up 2 to 3x a night! Hang in there! You are doing a great job! đ xo
I’ve never heard of the merlin sleep suit but after looking it up it truly looks uncomfortable and i would definitely leave her in a sleeper pajama outfit only at night. I have 3 girls all under the age of 5 and i had 1 really good sleeper out of the 3. She slept through the night at a month old. The second one was difficult. She would wake up 2 to 5 times a night for 6 months and once dr confirmed she shouldn’t be hungry at night and is good in her weight we had to do the let her cry method. It was hard at first but it worked after a few nights. My youngest one I was actually guilty of co sleeping w her which i have nevet done before but she only woke up once during the night doing this. After 6 months she went to her crib and I did the cry it out method and she sleeps from 7pm to 7am and takes 2 naps during the day. She is now 18 months old. It WILL get better. Make them comfortable at night and give orajel for her gums right before bed it will help with the teething problem. Otherwise at 6 months you can rest easy they are not hungry and unfortunately in order to regain your sleep back you have to bare out the cry it out method. It is hard but after a few days.. it usually works! Good luck!
Hi Ali! I’m with you! Granted I have a 4 month old and by 2 months we thought we were golden…sleeping through the night!! But his sleep patterns changed and now he is waking up 2-3 times a day. I nurse him constantly throughout the day but him and at a certain weight (I forget) they say they don’t need to feed at night. So ur Molly is certainly feeling lonely at night. I would do the same…can’t stand to hear him cry! Do u have a mobile or sound machine? I have a mobile from my 4 year old and we use the same one. I think the songs help soothe him back to sleep (at least last night they did after having a few rough nights not sleeping in his crib). I am guilty of having him sleep on me so I can get some sleep. He’s been battling a cold so keeping him upright not on his back has helped. Maybe the same with teething? I think they just need a little extra TLC. It’s rough because during the day he doesn’t sleep all that much anymore either. Just know u r doing a great job and that they go through so many phases. Molly today may not be Molly tomorrow!!
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Weissbluth. Miracle solution. And don’t be afraid to go all in with sleep training. Go to a hotel and let your husband handle it if you can’t take it (which is understandable!). We finally did it at 11 months with our daughter and it was SO magical. After just two nights of crying it out for 15-30 minutes she was sleeping all night. I only wished we would have done it sooner.
Good luck!
I have an 11 month old I need to sleep train. He has a tough time falling asleep, we feed him or hold him, and he wakes up 2x a night usually. Wasn’t always this rough but he gets sick a lot, has had ear infections several times, and each time he gets sick it’s s big setback.
Any advice on sleep training? How’d you do it with an older baby?
My baby is almost 7 months and I’m dealing with the same thing. We transitioned out of the Merlin suit and my son immediately rolled on to his belly to sleep. He sleeps so much better. It was a tough transition for me, can he breathe l, etc but luckily I use the owlet for reassurance. I too haven’t had luck sleep training, although, I haven’t truly tried. Since rolling onto his belly he wakes 2 times a night. Even then some nights like lastnight he refused to be put down from12:30-2:30 and we were up for two hours straight.
I suggest transitions out of Merlin at naps and see what she does. I also just put him in halo wearable blanket. I tried the zipadee but he didn’t like it.
Thanks for sharing!
Ah this is so relatable! I have an 8 month old who woke every 2 hours until she was 7 months…..just recently (at 8 months) she started sleeping from about 8-5, I’ll feed her at 5 and then she will go back down until sometime between 6 and 7:30. I identify with this entire post-my pediatrician told me at 4 months she didn’t need to eat and to sleep train. This is my third child and my other two just got the whole sleep thing so I never had these issues in the past. I was doing the same exact thing as you–would try to “sleep train” but just couldn’t do it and would go in and nurse. Then I started going in and nursing sometimes….the only advice I have is to maybe choose one thing or the other–either sleep train or go on and feed her bc the one thing my pediatrician told me when I was feeding her “sometimes” is that that was confusing for her. Makes sense to me actually!! I don’t have great advice about how to get better sleep because I was a terrible sleep trainer and she finally just started sleeping better on her own around 8 months. Best of luck to you and Miss Molly and I will tell you that in the future when one kid sleeps good (like my youngest did last night) then another one will undoubtedly pee the bed or come in your room because they are scared–so no, I’m not sure if we really ever get to sleep again:) But it sure is worth it!!!
Hi! We kind of went through the same thing but our little girl is 4 months old. Like Molly, she was in the Merlin suit and to be honest – that was the problem. She was trying to get comfy but couldn’t because the Merlin suit is so restricting. We went to the Halo Sleep Sack Swaddle. The “swaddle” part is a piece of velcro that can be velcro’d around the belly but with arms out. We also put her in the dockatot in the crib. I know they say it’s a no no but I’ve tried suffocating myself in it and can’t because the fabric is breathable. At this point, I would suggest the Dockatot Grand for Molly. Good luck!
While I don’t necessarily have advice I do want to say you are not alone! My Lily is a week younger than Molly and it’s almost like I was reading my life story with this blog post. Lily does the same thing! We began sleep training and I am with you.. it’s so hard! But we stuck to it, my hubby and I found ways to keep ourselves distracted which helped and I think we are making excellent strides. She’s only waking once a night. My Lily does roll to her stomach at night and when I thought it was a bad thing and would wrestle her back to her back.. it turns out sleeping on her tummy is what she wanted! She sleeps so well on her tummy. Maybe it’s worth a try with molly.. who knows! I’m learning that you can do all your research.. ask as many moms for advice as you can but in the end it’s about really listening to your baby, some trial and error and eventually consistency! Babies love routine. Keep at it, mama, you’ve got this!
This is one of the hardest things to do, but she’s going through a growth spurt and she wakes up probably a tiny bit hungry and hasn’t had to self soothe yet. When you get tired enough, which it sounds like you are, you will let her cry it out for a few nights. You will still be awake but the crying time will get less and less and then she will figure it out.
Love your honesty
I have two girls
Addi is 6 and Averie is 2.5
I know exactly where you are coming from, esp when it’s your first, you are so nervous and worried when they cry! So we gave up too easily on going hard core with sleep training our oldest and she still wakes at night!!!! She’s 6!!!!
When Averie came along I said no way are both going to be up all night lol
So we never offered food at night and she has always slept through – could it be she’s just a different kid? Possibly
Anyways, I would stick with sleep training but don’t ever give in once started. They know lol they are smart little people
When Molly is crying and you go in, don’t pick her up just rub her back and say I love you and walk out
ITS KILLER but I swear she will start sleeping through
Averie our 2.5 year old started wanting us to sleep with her when we came back from Mexico as she was in our room when we traveled and it took a week of sleep training to get her back on track
Just know you aren’t just doing this for you to get sleep, it’s for her too! She needs to know how to “self sooth” and she will be getting the rest she needs
Hugs momma, she’s beyond adorable and I hope my novel helps a bit lol
Xo
My son slept well until 4 months and then it was horrible. Usually up 4-5 times and screaming, not just whining. Nothing real helped but a bottle or even one night I had to go drive around until he fell asleep so I could get a little rest and go to work I think it was part teething, part learning new skills (crawler at 5 1/2 month) which keeps their brains going, and actual part hunger. They also go through growth spurts on and off and this can interrupt sleep. He was def not ready to sleep train until close to 9 months. We tried and it just didn’t work and then around 9 months something changed with him and we were able to put him down for a nap and he would fall asleep and put him down for bed. He switched to getting up usually 1 time, sometimes 2 and a few days none. When we know he’s getting teeth we do a little Tylenol before bed and that seems to help ease him overnight. He still isn’t sleeping through the night every night at 11 months, but it has gotten better-most nights only once and we do a bottle and he’s out the rest of the night. I do feel like they need to be somewhat ready. Our pediatrician also said, and I agree, that if he’s waking and eating and then going right back to sleep it is okay to feed. It is when they are up and sort of interested in a bottle but are more interested in playing when you just need to let them cry it out for a bit, or babble a bit, and they will eventually fall asleep.
I did the cry for 10 mins, go in and reassure with a pat On the back and then leave. We did this every 10-15 mins and it’s and easier version of “cry it out” that seemed to work well for our family.
Every child is so different and you have to do what is best for her and your family, but also make sure to take a little time away for you. Go get a facial or massage and stay an extra 30 mins to rest, or go shopping by yourself and get a coffee and enjoy your time away, or whatever you like to do (wine helps). It will get get better, but it definitely is an adjustment from the life you had before a child, that’s for sure!!
I have a 6 month old and we are in a similar situation! He was sleeping good (not great) but then got sick which threw off everyone’s sleep for a few weeks so I feel we are back to square one and need to sleep train again!
We did the Sleep Sense method, which is essentially letting them CIO but going in at different intervals (every 5 min for example) to calm and reassure them, but not picking them up! Which is extremely hard on a momma. It definitely worked but it takes consistency which is hard in the middle of the night when you are exhausted and know you can easily nurse them back to sleep. Whatever method you choose is only going to help Molly (and you) in the end!
Also, our little one sleeps in a sleep sack and it did take some getting used to but now he loves it.
I feel like our girls are the exact. same. baby. ? Everything you write, I’m like “yep! Me too!??”. We will sleep again, one day!??
Same here! My baby girl was born the same day as Molly and I swear it could be me writing this blog post. Good luck, mama.
Ali, my biggest advice for you is go with your gut! I personally feel sleep training can’t work if they’re teething/going through milestones. It’s too hard! It’s too hard to know if she needs you bc she’s in pain so I would just go in there and comfort her if you need to. Someday all her teeth will finally come in and she will sleep fine through the night and you will be looking back missing those sleepless nights, holding her/nursing her in the quiet of her nursery, wishing you would’ve held her or nursed her a little longer and comforted her. It’s so hard as you’re going through it but it will all seem like a dream someday! So try as hard as you can to enjoy every moment (as I’m sure you are!) and do whatever YOU want to do for her and not what others are doing for their babies or what your doctor says you should or shouldn’t be doing. Great job mama! You’re doing awesome. I have two now and my second I could tell he really just wanted to sleep on his belly at 3 months so… I started laying him on his belly (gasp!) He is fine and he is happy. As far as her sleep sack, she can wear that until she starts pulling up, as long as her arms are out, it’ll help her too to prevent her from getting her legs through the rails ha!
I hear you but I fee like babies are ALWAYS going through a leap or teething or SOMETHING! Right? But I totally have to trust my gut! đ
Yes haha it seriously seems like it lasts forever!! But yes, go with your gut! Sounds like a lot of people have success with sleep training. But, then I know some who haven’t really! So do what’s best for you and works for you and don’t put too much pressure on yourself by doing what others recommend or you’ll go crazy! Especially when you start comparing to other people’s babies and wonder why what you’re doing isn’t working like what other’s are doing. Every baby is different!:) Good luck and hang in there!
I did sleep training with my son around 4 months. The first time I let him cry it out, he cried for nearly two hours. It wasn’t easy, but if I gave in it meant he was winning. It got better each night and within a week or so he was sleeping 7p-7a. When he woke up in the middle of the night he knew how to self soothe. Fast forward 12 months and I can count the number of times he’s woken up in the middle of the night on one hand.
I realize I’m lucky, but I also think his good sleeping habits have to do with the sleep training I did early on. By no means is sleep training easy. But it pays off!! Good luck!
Was he on formula or breastfed? I just started trying to get my 4 month old in his crib two nights ago and it’s been rough. The first night he cried for an hour and 45 minutes and last night for an hour and 15 minutes. I would go over every 10 minutes to soothe him but I don’t pick him up.
I did the same, but at three months and my girl is exclusively breast fed. She went 2.5 hours the first night ? Then half of that the second night and then the time just kept cutting and now she loves her space. Stick with it and follow your gut Meghan, especially since the time of crying has already gone down.
We have an almost 7 month old and we co-sleep. Some nights she nurses for what seems like the whole night, but for the most part she’s only up 2-3 times. She does two naps a day in her crib and is also in her crib for the first bit of the night (around 7-9pm). I honestly couldn’t imagine getting up and out of bed at __am in the morning. I love my sleep. I know that’s total opposite of sleep training. But maybe on nights (like the one you described above) just bring her into bed with you for a bit so you can get some sleep? Every babe is different though, and I recognize this may not be the solution for you. ?
Same here! This is what we were meant to do biologically! Babies aren’t “supposed” to sleep from 7-7 without an adult… some do, yes. But it bothers me that mothers feel like their babies have sleep problems if they wake up at night. It is biologically normal for a baby to wake up and want comforting. They are not “manipulating” you… Ali, sleep train if that’s what your gut is telling you. But also read up on biologically normal infant sleep. Elizabeth Pantley, Dr. Sears, etc. Society puts way too much pressure on these perfect ideals.
Thank you for saying this!
So agree with you. Nothing wrong at all for little ones to wake up and want comfort. And they should GET comfort. This is when they learn they can count on you and I don’t call that manipulation. It bothers me, too, that moms think they need to ‘train’ a 6 month old to sleep for 12 hours. It’s not natural and not right.
By the time my son was 6 months (he’s now 9 months) I started to let him cry when he woke at night. I didn’t want to go from 3 feeds a night to none so I slowly started to cut one at a time. So I’d put him down at 6:30pm and wouldn’t feed him before 3am. If he was really crying my husband would go in and gently pat him on the back so he knew he wasn’t alone and then leave again. By 7 months I was down to one feed a night (anytime from 2-4am) and then around 8 months he started sleeping through until about 6am and then I would get up with him fo the day and feed him.
Good luck! It does get better!
Consistency is absolutely key! I always kept my girls on a pretty strict sleeping schedules for both napping and nighttime and worked my life around it. It’s not always that easy, I get that, but it is very important. Also consistency in your approach is absolutely key. You seem to be realizing that now and I think that will help you in the long run. Babies are SO much smarter than we realize and they know how to manipulate us mommies to get what they want. Tough love is tough on mommies too but so important in your child’s growth. Hang in there mama! I have zero advice on sleep suits. My girls are now 15 and 10 and we didn’t have any of this stuff back when they were babies. Onesie pajamas worked just fine and they survived and slept great! lol
My son, Oliver, is almost 6 months old and has been sleeping through the night (11 hours straight) since he was 7 weeks old. I found that sleep training and ‘cry it out’ didn’t work at all! He did better when we just put his pacifier in and gave him a blanket to snuggle. His last feeding is at 7:00 and he’s in bed by 8:00/8:15. I make sure he gets oatmeal before bed to fill his stomach more. If she’s waking up and eating two times a night, she may not be getting enough milk for how fast she is growing. Don’t be disheartened! My son eats 5 times a day at 7 am, 10 am, 1pm, 4pm, and 7pm. This schedule, roughly, has worked wonders! I hope that Molly will get over this stage of infancy. I love your family and your blog!
http://www.thebrunettefactor.com
I’m thinking singing a bedtime song after your nursing sess is likely not the best idea. I feel like it would wake her up a bit and get her excited. Maybe try the bedtime song just as you begin nursing. I obviously don’t know what the song consists of but just my two cents. Also, what about Kevin putting her to bed with a pumped bottle of milk? Anytime my hubby put my girls to bed they seemed to sleep way better. Whereas each time I did it they would nurse forever and never easily go down – I usually nursed them to sleep. I’m adamant with my third baby due in June that Daddy is going to be the bedtime doer. I just think they totally know how to use us! I never did sleep training at 6 months with my girls but wish I had. What if you went in with a night time sippy of water and offered her that when she wakes? That way she may soon realize it’s not worth making noise for. And another trick is I always turned my monitor sound off at night because I’m such light sleeper I would wake to any small whine or sound. Once I started doing that I realized that the nights I likely went in to ‘save’ her she would actually talk herself back to sleep and it wasn’t necessary for me to go in. I only would go in if I could hear the crying from the other room and peek in for 5 mins to see if she went back down. If not I would go in and nurse each time. Terrible habit hahaha. Good luck. Not to discourage you but my girls are 4 and 2 and still waking at least once most nights. I’m not sure when I’ll ever sleep again. I guess when they are teenagers. And it seems the nights they do sleep peacefully each night then it’s the pooch keeping me up!!!
I don’t think the song is the problem because she goes to bed just fine at the beginning of the night. It’s the waking up that I need help with đ
I also need help in getting my daughter to bed easily.
She is turning 5 month next week and was never easy in bringing her to bed. Most time we ended up with three tries and were done around 10 pm.
She used to sleep pretty good in her 2nd and 3nd month. (Most of the night 6-8 hours straight). Now we are back with three feeds per night and an uneasy, fitful sleep in between. Sometimes I wonder if she is really hungry.
Oh by the way, she is also an awful napped, never sleeps in her crip during the day. Mostly just in the car or when I’m walking with her in the baby carrier or stroller.
So three sleeping problems now: super hard in bringing her to bed (even though we do have a routine), awful at naps during the day and waking up at night 2-4 times. Please help!! Why is my baby not going to bed? And why is she not sleeping during the day like babies her age?
I just wrote an update to the blog at the end with a specific question! Please let me know your thoughts!!!
Hey girl!
I can relate. I have an 8 month old Molly. We JUST transitioned out of Magic Merlin. It was a little rough but now she seems to sleep SO much better! We transitioned to the nested bean sleep sack. It has a little bean pod to imitate your tough on their chest.
At 6 months, breastfed babies will still get up 0-2x to nurse. So I wouldn’t go 7-7. But, if you put her down at 7, she shouldn’t need you again until closer to midnight. And maybe one other time. Teething is tough! BUT, she’ll be teething now until she’s nearly 2. I use essential oils on her gums for teething. And if she’s still crying out ALOT, I’ll give her a small dose of Motrin. Once I know for sure its not teeth, I feel better about letting her self soothe. It’s really tough but consistency is key. Naps, bedtime, etc.
Keep at it mama! You’re doing a great job! â¤ď¸
I have slept trained many babies. To start I would suggest feeding at 6:30. Bed time at 7. Then let her self settle after first wake up. Then fed second wake up. If she wakes again self settle. Second wake up fed. This will decease. The the option is instead of offering breast at second wake up offer sippy cup of water. You need to disassociate breastfeeding with settling.
My son was the WORST with teething he was horrible during the day and at night. His daycare provider bought him an amber teething necklace and it has CHANGED OUR LIFE!! He slept all night, was less fussy and drooled less, I have never taken it off of him. It’s like witch craft magic and I don’t understand it but it was a life saver for us!! When you don’t sleep it’s worth trying anything!
http://www.amberjewelryglam.com/index.php?productID=1&gclid=CjwKEAiA2abEBRCdx7PqqunM1CYSJABf3qva-PIklMVzC5nIDZUU5SaB6XPFU6xABYJ-dMkAHrvEvBoCRuTw_wcB
We have one! But I don’t think it’s safe to sleep in. Is it?
No. Wear it all day long, but don’t sleep or nap in it.
Ali, I don’t love the necklaces (how they look or the fact that it’s around their neck) so I decided to get anklets, works the same and you can’t see them, and I feel better about it! She wears them tucked in her socks inside her sleeper, and wears a sleepsack. I haven’t given her Tylenol since we got them! I think you should try letting her roll to her belly and figure it that it can be super comfy- when my girl realized how to do this nights got much better… I don’t know about you, but sleeping on my belly is where it’s at!
We used an amber anklet for our daughter at nighttime. We put it on her ankle and then she wore her footy pajamas and then zipped up. She couldn’t get to it at all. I swear by the amber necklaces for teething. Also, loved halo sleep sacks and consistency, consistency, consistency with sleep training is the key! Kiddos can and will self soothe if you give them the opportunity. Good luck!
You really have to eliminate all sleep props. So no pacifier, no merlin. Our sleep consultant said that a regular sleep sack is ok and not considered a prop. You could also ask your pediatrician if its ok for her to use a lovey? I dont use one, but I could they help with self soothing.
Oh, I totally get you girl! Those mom’s who say “my baby sleeps thru the night” …nope, I need pics/video or it didn’t happen. Like a Yeti sighting. I’m not sure any advice I can offer will help but take what you want from it đ My little guy just turned a year this month and it took him until shortly before Xmas to sleep thru the night. Like you, I would just run down the hall anytime he would wake and start to get agitated …I wouldn’t even give it a minute -I was there before he could get too frantic. This would happen probably two to three times/night. I would automatically just nurse him -whether he was hungry or not, b/c I knew it was a surefire way to get him back to sleep …until the next time! I honestly didn’t mind this routine b/c I really enjoyed the quiet time just the two of us had together and I was still able to be a functioning adult the next day …it worked for both of us. At his 9-mos. doctor appointment, the pediatrician strongly encouraged my husband and I to let him cry it out. This way, once he was sleeping thru the night, I would be able to know the difference between a real “I’m in trouble here mom and I need you” cry versus an “I’m bored and just looking for some company” cry. With that advice, I eased into the whole sleep training method. I started with still continuing to go to him when he’d rustle but instead of nursing him I’d just snuggle him and rock him back to sleep. Once we were both comfortable with that, then I would let him cry for 10 minutes before going to him …and not just a whimper but legit crying. After a couple weeks, I’d give him 20 minutes and so on and so on. Don’t get me wrong -it was absolutely excruciating to hear him crying for those longer periods of time but I knew eventually he’d tucker himself out and go back to sleep. And he did. And it got easier. And now, he usually sleeps from about 7:30 to 5:30’ish or 6 the next morning. Does this happen every night?! Absolutely not -this week has been particularly trying and early morning snuggle sessions have been frequent …but, more often than not the kiddo is sleeping through the night. Did it take us a little longer to get there?! Yep, you betcha!! But, it happened the way it did, when it did, because I think we were both ready for it and not forced into it. Trust me …many a friend and even my hubby pushed me to sleep train early on but I did it when I felt it was right for me and the little guy. And since I was the one getting up with him in the middle of the night, it was my call. Hang in there -you’re doing great momma!! Besides, sleep is totally overrated đ
Around 4 months is when babies go through a sleep regression. Then again around 9 months but in between that stage their learning how to roll over possible crawl and their teeth are coming in as well. Normally, they say that when a baby is learning something new they have a hard time sleep- such as rolling u till they can roll with it being noticed. The teething stage was the hardest for both my boys and they both woke up many times a night. Have you tried to give her a little Advil or Tylenol before bed to help with teething? The upper teeth are always the worst because the bone is more dense. Have you tried giving her a small blanket to hold ( my youngest always wanted to hold to burp bob so we bought extra and made those his blanket to hold) I would always have my scent on it so that way it smelled like me in his crib. Have you tried a small teddy so she feels comfort or that someone is holding her or she’s holding the teddy? At night you could also go in when you normally do and just rub her back in her crib don’t pick her up- or pat her butt back to sleep. If you have to pick her up rock her to sleep and place her back down to bed. If your nursing maybe have the soon to be hubs do it so she doesn’t smell the milk on you. I’d like to say it gets easier with teething but molars are the worst. Trust me , once all their teeth come in that’s when they usually sleep all night.
It sounds like you’re doing everything right on. And sometimes you know what’s better for your baby than the doctors. I think it’s great you let Molly fuss when she wakes especially if you know she isn’t hungry. I’m in a similar situation and just transitioning my four month old to his crib. He’s waking twice in the middle of the night. I don’t let him fuss yet, this too will be so hard for me to hear, but even more so because I am worried he doesn’t know how to soothe himself. He sucks on a pacifier but when that falls out… then what?
Also, he hates when he leaves me arms for naps and takes forever to fall back asleep. Big of course not without me patting his back.
-mom of much needed sleep!
My son is almost 7 months now and we went through the exact same thing between 5 and 6 months and now he is sleeping through the night every night! I also would just get up with him because it was easy and quick to just nurse him back to sleep… plus I couldn’t stand letting him cry! Let me note that he has two very different cries, one is a whine (wants mom) one is a cry with real tears (actually needs something). Finally one night I put him down for bed, he woke up shortly after and whined… I decided to ignore him (actually sat there miserable watching him on the monitor) finally after 25 long minutes he stopped and fell asleep. When he woke up again, that time it took 3 minutes.. and so on. Each time he learned to self soothe quicker. The next night he only cried the first time for 5 minutes and never woke back up that night!!! Ever since he has slept through the night! Some random nights he will wake up and whine but he is just trying to get comfortable. I haven’t had to go back in his room ever since! He goes down at 7PM and gets up somewhere around 7AM! Good luck! Stay strong, it’s hard to hear our babies cry but they do know how to self soothe and it will get you guys sleeping more soon (hopefully)!
I have a 7 month old little boy, Ezra, and I’m in the same boat of waking up still at night with him. He wakes up at least twice at night but I’ve started your same routine of only going and feeding him once and trying to let him soothe himself back to sleep on his own. My advice for the transition out of the merlin sleep suit would be to transition to a Zipadeezip. I have a 2 year old as well, and I used this with her and my little guy. He started rolling over very young and he’s always slept so much better on his stomach, so this allows them to be able to roll over and crawl even safely. Find one here: https://www.sleepingbaby.com/
It gives them some freedom in movement but is designed so they still feel somewhat swaddled. I love them.
As far as when will your baby sleep….girl, I wish I knew, because I want to sleep too! All I can say is I felt like this with my first as well, but it eventually got better and it is such a short phase of their life that will seem like nothing once they are out of it. She’ll get there!
Hi Ali!
I am the mom of 9 month old spitfire of a little girl, I have a degree in early childhood education, and I own my own dance studio! Elliot has always been a great sleeper since we brought her home from the hospital. Most recently (after she cut 2 teeth) she would wake up in the middle of the night usually 2 times and seemily want to eat, as she wouldn’t stay asleep after I laid her down once she fell back asleep in my arms and would only do so if I fed her. It was crazy because she usually sleeps through the night! Her doctor suggested that she most likely is not actually hungry in the middle of the night, she just wakes up and isn’t quite sure how to get herself back to sleep. (Side note: we have almost always put her in her crib when she’s sleepy but not fully asleep, so she is able to put herself to sleep.) Her doctor suggested that once we put her down for the night, to not pick her back up until it’s morning time. After the first few nights of me not being able to stand her crying for more than 10 minutes, I would go in and pat her back and shhh her. I learned that this wasn’t for my Ellie and it just made her even more mad. So I would just let her fuss it out. It never usually lasted for more than 20 minutes and she would fall back asleep. She did this for about 3 nights and since then, she has slept great! And if she has woken up, she is able to get herself back to sleep within 5 minutes or so.
As for the swaddle, she would not sleep well without it for the first 4ish months. But when she started trying to roll over, her doctor said we just need to “rip the band aid off” and not swaddle her. We tried it, she was not happy! So I gave in and swaddled her a few nights. But eventually, we just stopped doing it at naps and she became use to it.
Bed time routines are a huge thing for sleep training. Ours is very simple, we nurse and then cuddle in the rocking chair in her room with the lamp on and then I kiss her good night and lay her in her crib, turn out the light, and shut her door. I tried reading books and stuff, but it was too much for her. It didn’t make her sleepy at all! She wanted to play with the book.
I hope you find what works for you. Every baby is different! Doctors are truly great and we are very lucky to have such an amazing pediatrician.
-Jill
Thank you go this! This is what I needed to hear. That I CAN’T pick her up from 7pm to 7am. I am going to try this tonight. I don’t even think I will go in because I know that will just make her more upset.
Ali — Our pediatrician told us that if you know she is not hungry and can make it through the night then Daddy will be better to go soothe if needed or to alternate randomly so that she can’t predict who will come soothe. Also go in about every 10-15 minutes (not the same interval every time or the smarties will figure it out) and reassure but not pick her up. He said to go in and tell her your thinking in a calm voice. “Daddy and mommy are here. We love you. It’s time to go to sleep.” This worked for us and our little 5 month old. I liked how it didn’t seem harsh…but she also didn’t get more worked up when she saw us. I hope you find something that works. â¤
Took the words out of my mouth. My 9mo is going thru a sleep regression because she’s about to walk, so the milestones keep her up + cutting 3 teeth. Last night was rough. I also came to the conclusion at 330am she is not hungry, just “up” and awaiting me.
I did try to feed her dinner a little later than normal by a half hour to keep her full but didn’t work, or I didn’t see a difference I should say.
It’s definitely a challenge. Like you said, follow your gut! You know her cries inside and out so if they seem “off” of course, go in and see what’s wrong but if they sound whiney, breathe it out and know it really is for the best not just for you but her too! I have the same emotions too because we also want #2 soon!
Hang in there mama, you can do it đ
Hi! Get the book Babywise … excellent resource for helping your little one get on a sleep schedule.
Hey girl. I feel for you. It’s so hard. Here’s my story: my little girl is 8 months old and she started sleeping through the night at 5 and a half months old when we started giving her oatmeal before bed. Then it seems like the day she hit 7 months she started waking up 4-5 times a night again and she also was taking almost 2 hours to get to sleep at night. It was brutal. We blamed teething, growth spurts, and developmental milestones. One night my husband and I had gotten her down and she woke up 5 minutes later and was crying. We decided we were going to see what she did if we didn’t go in there to pick her up. I went in there every 5-10 minutes and just rubbed her back and let her know we were still here but, never picked her up. The first night it took 45 minutes but, she went to sleep. The next night it was 30 minutes, and then the next night it was 10-15 minutes. Now she hardly cries at all and if she does it’s 5 minutes the absolute most. And she sleeps all night. From 8-7:30 most nights. Sometimes she wakes up at 6:45. But, rarely. It was hard for a week but, now it’s so much better for ALL of us. She’s happier and we’re rested. I do feel for you though. It’s hard to hear them cry but, I knew that as soon as I went in there and she immediately stopped crying that she just wanted to be held and wasn’t in any pain. It was tough but, sooooo worth it. I hope this helps. I know how hard it is to not get sleep. But, sleep training was the best thing we ever did.
Does she take a paci at all? I have a soon-to-be 7 month old and when she does wake up in the middle of the night we give her her paci and she’s back off to dream land! Also she has started rolling onto her belly while asleep and sleeps so much better that way.
Check out the blog Precious Little Sleep. A lot of good info based on actual science behind sleep cycles and baby sleep. I would suggest changing up your bedtime routine by moving her feeding to the beginning of the routine before bath. You don’t want her to associate nursing with sleep. Also, the blog I mentioned above says that daytime sleep and nighttime sleep are very different so although she can self soothe during the day, it may take something else to help her figure out how to self soothe at night. Six months is a great time for her to learn these skills! I hope she starts sleeping for you soon!
I second this. I love that blog!
My 7 almost 8 month old has been sleeping through the night for awhile. I’m a first time mother so I am not a baby genius but can possibly offer some advice? Obviously this works for us but possibly not for you but I’m sure you are willing to try anything?
You could be possibly putting her to sleep to early? My daughter takes a nap at 530pm for about an hour then wakes and I play with her until putting her down for bed between 9-10pm. If she cried during the night I would wait a couple of mins, go in there to let her know I was there but did not feed her. Each night gradually extend the time you would go check on her. It took 4 nights of this then she started sleeping through the night. I also use essential oils of lavender in her room with a diffuser and make sure the room isn’t too warm. I also make sure she eats a ton before bed so she stays full all night long. Even if she “dream eats”.
Again I am not a baby genius but this worked for us! I’m sorry, sleep training is not fun. But your sleep is just as important! Hopefully this helps! Good luck.
Hi Ali, as always I love reading your posts! My daughter Everlee is just a couple days younger than Miss Molly, so I really relate to a lot of your posts. I highly recommend the book Baby Wise, the first edition. It talks about creating schedules, structure, etc.
Everlee has slept through the night since about 4 months until recently. She now is up constantly and has actually been in our bed since Sunday! Something I never thought would happen, but I think she is teething so for now I’m allowing it. I also just started using the Merlin and love it! But know that I only have another month or so in it. I used it because I could not get Evey to nap!
Anyway, I do love the book and it’s only $13 on Amazon.
Do you have any advice on teething? I feel like Everlee had been drooling for months excessively but recently has been chewing non stop but her gums do not seem red hut she is extra fussy!
Thanks in advance and best of luck to you!!
Ali – we went through this exact same thing at 6 months – wake up multiple times a night and Matilda was also in a Merlin too. She’s now almost a year old. My advice is to read Sleep Easy Solution, and get a hard copy. It Was recimmended it by multiple mamas and I loved it bc it’ a quick read and really pushed us to use (a version of) cry it out. After reading, we put her in a sleep blanket similar to the one you posted above and did bedtime routine then laid her down sleepy and the first night she cried for 53 minutes. We used the tactic explained in the book which is basically going in at intervals, reassuring but not holding or feeding, and then leaving, etc, etc… Second night did the same thing she cried for 20 minutes, third night for 5 then after that nothing. I def needed my husband for moral support otherwise I prob would have picked her up and given in!! I would also recommend starting during a 2-3 night span when you don’t have much going on. I hope this helps! The book is key! Remember that everything is temporary! It was so so hard but she’s truly slept amazing ever since and now loves her crib and putting herself to sleep. Also makes it way easier to get a babysitter knowing she won’t wake up a ton for them đ I hope this helps or encourages you even just a little!!
Ali, although I can’t offer much advice, I will tell you that you are not alone. My guy is a week younger than Molly and it sounds like he sleeps just like her. We have not done any sleep training though… I just am not strong/brave enough to let him cry. I believe (and hope!!!) he will sleep longer stretches when he’s ready. The good thing is that when he does wake, I pick him up and nurse him and within 6 minutes we are both back in bed and asleep again. With my first baby, who also had similar sleep “tendencies”, I missed it terribly when he started sleeping in his own room in his crib through the night. My arms felt empty and I missed him! Soooo basically you can’t win… You’re either exhausted and spending all your spare time researching how to get her to sleep, or you’re missing her and sad that she doesn’t need you much anymore. Molly will be sleeping through before you know it and you’ll forget all about how exhausted you were ? But goodluck in the meantime ?
Letting her cry is sooo hard, but if you stick to it then it can be so worth it. Our daughter wasn’t quite waking up as much as Molly is, she was about 1-2 times per night but when she started rolling over to her tummy and sleeping on her tummy she started sleeping so much better because it’s so much more comfortable for her and now she sleeps 11&1/2 – 12 hours every night without waking up. Transitioning out of the sleep suit and letting her get into more comfortable positions for sleeping could be a really good thing for her.
This may not be the best advice but you need your sleep so you can function the best you can as a mommy—- sleep her with you and transition her to her bed later! Both my babies slept with me and I have no regrets about it. đ
My son is 6 months old and we made a rule to start that he only could eat every 3 hours at night. If not, he had to cry. 3 hours is really even too frequent, but he was waking so frequently we had to start somewhere. He went from waking up 5-6 times a night to 2 times. My ped said the average for BF babies to sleep through the night is 9 months. Yes, they don’t NEED the calories, but 2x a night is very reasonable for a BF 6 month old. So for now, I’m ok with the 2x a night, I may work on night weaning at some point. Decreasing the amount of time he eats and see if he will drop the feedings on his own. When he does wake those 2x he REALLY eats, so I do know he is hungry. Hoping he will sleep through the night someday! đ
We have a 7.5month old who just started sleeping through the night. I had a hard time with the crying it out and thankfully didn’t have to do that. Here are some things to consider (but all up to you and every mom is different)….
1. When we took Harrison(my son) out of his swaddle and he started rolling onto his stomach he was up non stop. We started putting him back on his back but then realized he needs to get used to being on his stomach. So when he’d wake up crying on his stomach, we’d put his pacifier in and rub his back with sush-ing sound but not lift him up unless it wouldn’t work. Took a couple days and sleepless nights but worked. We used zip-a-dee or whatever it’s called but he didn’t like that and just kept him in the sleep sack with his arms out (he still is in it as a blanket).
2. If you are nursing, perhaps have your fiancĂŠ go in there. She can probably smell you and why she wants to eat. I know it’s hard as a mom, I loved waking up and feeding him and some days i’d give in but it’s worth a try. And again…don’t pick him up if you don’t have to, have him try to just rub his back or pat his back. Sometimes harrison would go back to sleep easier with my husband than me in the middle of the night.
3. She could be too hot or too cold…which then we were opposite. We bought the baby safe heater- Vornado. We are able to see his room temp on the monitor and found that if his room is between 68-70 he sleeps through the night. We live in WI and our house goes down to 65 for us to be able to sleep (with fan). He wears either fuzzy pjs and a cotton sleep sack or cotton pjs and a fleece sleep sack. They say the baby’s hands will get cold and you can check their chest or back to see if too hot or too cold.
4. I believe you are nursing but if she is taking a bottle during day…is she getting enough during day that she’s trying to compensate at night? One day it was like a switch for Harrison where he stopped sleeping 8hour stretches and waking up constantly. We realized we needed to give him more milk during the day. So at 6.5months we upped his bottles to 6oz a feeding. Also while I am pro-nursing….perhaps a bottle before she goes to bed to make sure she is getting enough? Then you’ll feel more comfortable letting her cry it out if it gets to that point.
5. Also…my PED says babies have different sleep cycles. So why she is waking up and crying, she may still be sleeping. When she first starts waking noise, instead of feeding, help her sooth herself back to sleep with back rubs or shushing instead of waiting until she is full blown crying.
Hang in there…I never thought I’d see end but the last 3 weeks he’s been sleeping 7pm-6am! Sometimes 5am but i’ll take it as a victory!
To answer your updated question….7pm is a good bedtime and she should be able to sleep until 5-6am. We start our bedtime routine between 6&6:30. Mine has never slept 12hours. Sometimes I wake up with him at 5 if he wakes that early and act like it’s still nighttime, stay quiet, feed him and put him back to bed and he falls asleep again.
Also…are you putting her to bed awake or is she falling asleep in your arms every night? The moment Harrison rubs his eyes we finish his bed time routine (if we have started it). Our routine is Diaper, PJs, Sleep Sack, nurse, then go upstairs, read a book, put him in bed, turn on sound machine (turns off after 23minutes) and turn off light.
Hi there!! I have a 5 month old baby girl who is teething as well. I wanted to ask you if you had tried using an Amber teething necklace? We absolutely love ours! I don’t leave it on her at night though, so I guess that really wouldn’t help you. To answer your question about leaving her in her room from 7pm to 7am, I’d say she might still be a bit young for that. I have two suggestions for you. One, have you read the book titled “The no cry sleep solution”? It’s amazing. It really helped with my middle child. I was able to get her to sleep through the night in a very peaceful manner. No long nights of hearing her scream and cry. I can’t say enough good things about it. I’d be happy to send you my copy if you’d like! The other thing I want to suggest is using essential oils. They are absolutely amazing and have really made my bedtime routine with my kids so much easier. And better. There are some really great blends out there! Young Living has a blend called Gentle Baby. I use this on myself and my baby, to calm us both down before bed! There are many other great ways to use oils too, such as in a diffuser. It has worked so well for us, I just want to share this info with all mommas out there!! ???
Ugh I feel like you’re writing about my life! My 7 month old is the most inconsistent sleeper ever! I know I need to transition out of the Merlin suit but I also know he is going to startle and not sleep nearly as well. He’s not a belly sleeper (we’ve tried). He wakes at least once to nurse and I want to start trying to phase that out but I’m unsure how. Do I just let him scream himself back to sleep? It seems quicker/easier on both of us just to nurse him back to sleep for 15-20 minutes vs letting him scream bloody murder for hours. I have no advice but I can definitely relate!!
Me again … I just watched this segment this morning …
By Angela
Breakfast TV Segment – A Sleeping Baby
1/26/2017 1 Comment
Hi, all! Yesterday I did a segment on Breakfast TV Montreal on getting your baby to sleep. If you missed it, you watch it here. I have also put all the information into a bit more detail in this post.
ââI hate the fact that I know so much about baby sleep issues. I don’t know why wishful thinking I guess…but I always thought I would have a good sleeper. It must be because I need my sleep to have a productive day, or so I thought. Since little Liv was born though I have gotten used to the no sleep thing, and there was a point where I think I felt worse if I got a full night sleep.
Thankfully those days are behind us for the most part. Liv is now a pretty good sleeper, but it was something we had to work for. âToday’s post goes over all the gadgets and techniques we used to get Liv sleeping through the night. I covered everything from newborn through now.
Moms on Call is a life saver!
Hi Ali!
I really appreciate your posts about Molly because as a first time mom they are very helpful for me too. I have a daughter two months younger than Molly. My daughter never liked being swaddled so since the hospital she has never been swaddled and has slept in a zip up nighty or button up nighty similar to the one I often see Molly in for play time. I would say it doesn’t hurt to try something like that to put Molly in or even a sleep sack from carters. Molly may just want more flexibility or she may hate it. I have read that once they are rolling over it is okay for them to sleep on their belly as long as they are still put to sleep on their back to start with. As far as her sleep goes, like you said, it isn’t good to give in to her crying. I know it is SO to hear them cry. The comments from your last post about Molly’s sleep really motivated me to sleep train my girl at 3 months. Mostly because she was already sleeping through the night, but in her rock ‘n play like the one you use with Molly and we didn’t want her to get used to that, we wanted her to find away to soothe herself. It was difficult, but I knew if I gave in it was only going to be harder and take even longer. Every night got better and she now sleeps great in her crib, waking up only one time. So I promise you it does get better and if you see no change after a few days, then sleep training may not be for your girl. My daughter does go down later than Molly does. Her last nap doesn’t go past 6pm and she usually goes down around 8:30, then wakes up to nurse around 9-9:30 pm and then stays down til about 4:30 am sometimes even 6, then we let her sleep ’til 8. When we sleep trained our daughter, we also had to kind of nap trained. So we made sure she was awake at least two hours before going down for a nap again even if she was absolutely tired (from sleep training the night before) and wouldn’t let her sleep more than an hour and a half. My pediatrician also told me if she made it a habit to wake up more often at night, to not give in because I know that she can go longer with out. I have been shamed and felt shame for sleep training my daughter, but it worked for us and now we all sleep wonderfully. We have to do whatever works for our babies and us! Taking care of ourselves is also taking care of them. It really is the hardest job being a parent, especially when we have no idea what’s going on in their sweet heads! Sorry my post is kind of all over the place, I just wanted to be able to give some advice and tell you a little bit of where we are so that it hopefully helps you. You’re doing a great job with sweet Molly!
You are doing well Mama. Now that you know she isn’t hungry you can be sure it is just a habit for her. I did sleep training with both my boys and they are the best sleepers. My first son we sleep trained st 4 months for naps and night trained at 5.5 months took two nights of about 20 mins of whining and we have never looked back he is 6 1/2 now and is still an awesome sleeper. My second was a bit of a different story. He had reflux, colic you name it we dealt with it. So for him we still sleep trained for naps around 5 months but until he was about 7-8 months old I still nursed him around 4:00 a.m. and he went right back to sleep.
You got this! As hard as it is, stick to your guns and don’t go in!! Consistency is key with sleep training actually consistency is key with anything that has to do with children. She will figure it out and you will all be sleeping through the night in no time.
You’re doing everything right! My experience is to put her down at 7 p and don’t go back in until 7 a! It will be 2-3 rough nights of crying but after that she will be sleeping through the night! Hang in there momma!
Ali, you NEED to read The Sleep Easy Solution. It addressees exactly what you’re experiencing and how to deal with it. Basically you need to not wean her and the key to doing that it going in and feeding her a little before she wakes up. This teaches her that she doesn’t have to cry to get you/milk. And then you slowly cut back the times and feedings. It seems so simple when you read it, but it seriously works. It worked for my 6 month old and I she was sleeping through the night in 6 days. Then I recommended it to 4 other people and it worked for all of them too. Trust me. If you follow the steps in that book, you will have sleep very soon!
That’s really good advice! I also have a 6 month old waking up at least twice to nurse. We tried the Ferber method which has helped to get get down, but not with the nighttime wakings. I’m guilty of nursing her, but who wants to hear a kid scream at 3am? I’m trying this tonight!
Thanks for posting Ali! Love hearing from other 6 month old mommies!
Get her* down ?
I am in the same exact boat with an almost 7 month old! You are not alone!
It sounds like you are on the right track! We chatted back and forth on your last sleep-related blog post about trying the cry it out method and it sounds like aside from the teething setback, it was going well! I agree with you that you should give it another go. When I sleep trained my daughter Johanna she had just started to roll over so we had to no longer swaddle her and being that she wasn’t swaddled, she also was pulling her pacifier our constantly. So we went cold turkey! No swaddle and no pacifier. It was a BIG change for her, but after a short rough period, she learned to sleep without any sleep “crutches”. Given that Molly is going to struggle with crying it out anyway, it maaay be a good time to also ditch the merlin and get two birds with one stone. Just an idea! If you don’t think she is warm enough, socks and a onesie under her sleeper will do wonders. đ
Does she use a pacifier? My daughter is 6 months old as well as we have always used the soothie. When she wakes up at night (which isn’t often) I give her the soothie and she falls right back to sleep. There will be times when she’ll nurse in the middle of the night, but I’m able to distinguish the cries from hunger or just the need to get her pacifier back in her mouth so she can go back to sleep.
Good luck!
Oh man I was in your same exact situation with my daughter when she was 6 months. Quick back story-she was never a great sleeper, despite trying EVERYTHING. She’s now 14 months and is sleeping 7pm-6am which to me is great. I was the same way though, going in some nights, but then being firm and letting her cry it out other nights. She was determined though and would cry for over an hour sometimes and I just couldn’t take it.And if I went in, I fed her, every.single.time. But then I realized by baby was basically eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, and multiple snacks before most people woke up in the morning hah! What eventually worked for us was setting a time that she had to sleep/stay in her room before I would go in. At first it was 2am then I pushed it back to 3, 4, 5, and now it’s 6. I knew she couldn’t be hungry at 2am so I felt ok letting her cry. And eventually she stopped waking up as much. It’s so hard, but I promise you from one tired mama who didn’t sleep more than 4hrs at a time until her baby was 10 months old, you will sleep again! And honestly, sometimes I miss those middle of the night wake ups when it was just her and I. So don’t be too hard on yourself. It’s so cliche but it’s true when they say you will miss all those sleepless nights.
we’ve been using the zippadee zip for 2 years now. https://www.sleepingbaby.com/
but nothing replaces consistency and sleep training. but my girl looooves her zippy. we’re on the 6th one. she’s almost 2 and we started at 3 months.
Oh Ali i could have written this whole blog! I too am going thru the exact and I mean the exact same thing and my daughter Edie is 7 months. It’s hard and we start sleep training again on Sunday evening when I’m having someone come in. Kimberley Walker is her name and she is well known in NYC so I called and booked her, we had to cancel numerous times due to colds, teething and what nots but this time I have to be tough and start because it’s crazy and like you no sleep but I have 5 year old too. My nurse didn’t help with the sleeping where my old nurse with my eldest did. So tough and I feel you and let’s just hope with the training we will be sleeping more in a few weeks. Edie is now in the Aden and AnaĂŻs sleep sack and loves it. When you start the training swap the suit to sack and do it all at once. Kill two birds with one stone. Sending hug positive vibes because hearing them cry is horrible. I never had to do that with my eldest she just slept and still does! Good luck xxx
We use the love to dream swaddle and also wink naturals lavender chest rub. My daughter loves her sleep sack and sleeps 10-11 hours at night since she was 4 1/2 months.
Hi Ali,
We are in a very similar boat with our five month old babe. We recently went to a seminar with a paediatric sleep consultant, which provided us with some helpful advice. My son, Simeon, wakes between 3-6 times a night and doesn’t go back down unless I nurse him. We recently moved him to his crib and stopped swaddling him. I am trying to get him down to 2 feeds a night, however that’s proving to be quite difficult. Our doctor always told us to let him cry and I do know he is comfort nursing because he falls asleep quite quickly. I have been trying to not feed him before 12am (he goes down at 7/7:30) but he’s always up and crying by 11. Many of the moms in the playgroup I go to did CIO sleep training and said within a weeks their babes were sleeping through the night. I think you just need to commit to doing it? I keep telling myself at night “tonight will be the night” but I always cave. Sorry, haha this isn’t helpful and I don’t have advice… just solidarity!
Hey Ali!
Love reading your blog and seeing all the nice photos you put up :). I have a six month old as well born on July 12 and I’m also a first time mom! Thank god for forums and being able to share with other moms I don’t know how I would do without it! I should start by saying I formula feed (my supply never really came in) not sure if that actually has an impact or not, anyways… since Christopher was about a month and a half he has been sleeping through the night and I have to say that I had to work on it, HARD! Lol. I had noticed that he would wake up and not be extremely hungry so I started giving him his soother (now not sure if Molly takes a soother or not) and he would fall back to sleep right away and then wake up again probably an hour after and I would repeat until he would no longer fall asleep (after 3 hours). He eventually stopped waking up (after maybe a week) so I extended his 3 hour stretch to 5 hours then I did the same thing stretching to 8 hours then 10 and 12! Since then he’s been sleeping 12 hours at night. Now a month ago he started waking up again but for different reasons which vary every night (farty, crying in his sleep, wants to turn on his side, wants to turn on his belly, just talks to himself!!) I just went in and soothed him when he was actually crying (never did the CIO) must have been a mental phase he seems to be over that now (thank god!) so maybe Molly is still in a similar phase? As for the sleep sack we use one and it’s been great! He’s able to roll over back and forth so we’ll keep on using that :). I hope you find your answers soon, sending you positive vibes, babies are mysteries sometimes!! đ
We were in the same boat and got the Dock A Tot and I swear by it. It really is the greatest thing. It comes in two different sizes and it helps your little one feel more secure. For my little one, the crib was too big for her. When she would come in and out of her sleep cycle, she would move too much and it would fully wake her up. The Dock A Tot helps her not fully wake up. She is now 7 months old and dropped down to one nighttime feeding. I only wish that I purchased it earlier.
My son is 7 months and I transitioned him out of a sleep sack two months ago and I realized how much of a little heat box he is. Babies really don’t need blankets or sleep sacks to keep warm at night, just Jammie’s will do. He also sleeps cuddled up with a tshirt of mine because he went through a period where he would wake up and just want me. My scent on the shirt helps soothe him. At first I was freaked out about SIDs with having the shirt with him, but he’s been fine with it. Hope this helps!
Hey Ali! So This might be long but bare with me. As you know Emma and Molly share a birthday. Up until about a week and a half ago Emma was really struggling at bedtime and I began to really dread it and it was getting pretty hard. Our routine was bathtime and then into her room get her jammies on and her halo sleep sack and then rock her in the rocker and feed her a bottle and then put her in bed asleep/ almost asleep. They got to the point where she would just cry for up to three hours and was not going to sleep and it was seriously making me crazy. So my friend suggested the cry it out method which didn’t work because Emma is very persistent she sounds like Molly and I couldn’t stomach the fact that she was just crying and crying and I just kind of felt like it didn’t work for her which is fine because every babies different . So I decided to switch up a routine and now I feed her downstairs around 8:30 (she wakes up around 7, eats then sleeps until 9 usually now) in the living room with the lights on and then we go for bathtime and then normal jammies and her sleep sack and then I say night night and turn on her white noise and I put her on her stomach and with a few pats on the but she normally goes right to sleep in sometime she’ll wake up a few times in the night but her Binky will do the trick. I think the huge kicker for us was changing her routine and also letting her sleep on her stomach because she’s much more comfortable and sleep like a rock. So now when I put her in her crib I literally physically put her on her stomach first and pat on the butt I say night night love you and leave the room and if she cries and wines a little bit I’ll let her for a few minutes when I go back in there and readjust her on to her belly say night night love you and it’s seriously works like a charm. And since Molly can roll now it’s OK for her to sleep on her belly so maybe give that a try and see if it works !! Also sorry I used voice text đ let me know if it works!!
Sleep training and listening to your baby cry is hard! If you have a hard time waiting her out, I would try going in at intervals, but don’t feed her. For example, let her cry for 10 minutes (or whatever interval you’re comfortable with), go in, let her know you are there, rub back, etc and then leave the room. Let her cry for 15 mins and do the same thing, etc.
I would think a baby at 6 months does not need to eat during the middle of the night. My little one was sleeping 7pm-7am by 6 months.
Good luck!
Be strict! Stick to it. Don’t play with Molly’s emotions by not being strict with the training. It’s only making things worse. You can do it!
I did keep one feeding at 1am for about a month until I was comfortable with getting rid of it completely. It did not confuse my daughter at all BUT I did that because I sleep trained at 5 months. So until 6 months I fed her once at night. You’ll be fine with cutting it off completely since Molly is already older.
Also I noticed you said, you woke her up in the morning? Don’t wake a sleeping baby!
The biggest thing I always follow is eat, play, sleep! My baby girl has been sleeping through the night since 8 weeks old. By not feeding her to sleep it really helped her learn how to put herself back to sleep. It will be one bad week to sleep train her but all of a sudden it totally turns around and it’s better for both of you ?
We had the same problem with sleep associations. My daughter is 5.5 months and would wake 2-3 times during the night and it would take almost 45 minutes to put her back to sleep. She knew that every time she cried, I would rush in there. Well, that was just awful. I was exhausted, my husband was exhausted and my daughter was also exhausted.
I was desperate and of course told myself that I could never let my daughter cry. My cousin actually told me that she did CIO and it worked wonders for her son. My daughter now sleeps 11 hours at night and maybe only fusses for a bit.
We’re all so much happier.
My 6 month old sounds the same as Molly for naps. He easily falls asleep and puts himself back to sleep during the day, but there’s something different about the night. It helps us to send in Dad to try and help calm/soothe the baby when I don’t think that he’s actually hungry. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. I also will let him cry a bit during the night but have a hard time letting him go more than about 10-15 minutes. Again, sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. During rough stretches, I always say I’m going to sleep train/CIO but then ultimately change my mind. Between teething, possible illness, developmental leaps, I feel like there’s always something during the first year, and you’ll just end up having to sleep train all over again, which sounds awful. My daughter was similar to my son. She learned to put herself asleep but struggled to consistently sleep though the night on her own until she was weaned around 1 year. She’s now 3 and has been an amazing sleeper since than. So there’s hope. đ And I think if Molly is putting herself to sleep, then you’ve already done a great job of teaching her to fall asleep. And it might be a while before she sleeps through the night on her own, but you’ll eventually get there and won’t remember the long nights. (All these things are easier to write after we had a good night last night. Last week I was ready to sleep train and exhausted đ )
Ali- I love following your blog and your daughter is so adorable! You had said your daughter is in a Merlin suit, she might even sleep better if she sleeps on her stomach. (I am assuming the Merlin suit doesn’t allow the baby to roll over.) I know this improved my little guys sleeping. Even though I was completely terrified when he started to do it! I love the Halo sleep sacks we have used them since he was born. I was also in the same boat as you with nursing in the middle night. I nursed Lucas every night at 2 am until he was 8 months old. I realized it just turned into a habit. Eventually I just let him cry it out and within two nights he was fine. Every baby is different and crying out is so hard to do, but I am glad I did it bc I put him to bed at 6:30 and he sleeps about 11-12 hours through the night. Believe me you will sleep again!! Good luck!
Totally agree! My guy loves his tummy & we loved the Halo.
Hi Ali! I have a 2.5 year old and a 5 day old, so having a newborn again is bringing back all sorts of memories! We sleep trained our first and it was so hard but worth it. We used the sleep sack like the one in your blog to help him still feel secure. Also what helped me resist the urge to go in his room was ear plugs. It’s what I needed to try and tune him out. Also head under the pillow and crying happened as well :/ but after 2 nights he was sleeping 9-10 hours. I knew he was ready just needed to stay strong. My husband helped me resist the urge to go in as well. Good luck!
Feed! Feed! Feed! Before bed – give oatmeal in a bottle at least 8oz of milk
Have a regular bedtime – same time each night and depending how often she naps like every two hrs make sure her last nap still gives her a good two hrs if not more before her bedtime sleep – the last thirty min before bedtime she might be cranky and want to eat and sleep but try to stretch out till that feeding mark. Keep lights dim and don’t interact.
Thsn put in bed and walk away and if cry have her cry it out for a bit till you sooth and if tou sooth don’t take out of crib and if that doesn’t work feed more.
If she wakes up at night try to let her sooth herself to sleep but if having trouble go in room and sooth her in crib for 20min or so but no lights or interact and if that doesn’t work just feed her 2-4oz and put straight into bed again. You might have to do this for a week or two but if you feed her before bed good she should not be waking up for food but cuz of bad habits or she wants to play do try to break her out of habits and show her it’s bed time boy play time.
Good luck!!!!
My daughter is 15 months but she went through this from 4 months old until she turned a year old. She had several ear infections so I never knew if she was hungry or in pain. After she got ear tubes we decided to do the cry it out method. That was around 12 months old. I would nurse her, lay her down, and not go back in until the morning. The first 3-4 nights were the hardest. I think the first 2 nights she cried for 1-2 hours ? It was so hard. But now my only regret was not doing it sooner. She sleeps for 10-12 hrs a night now. Also, the pediatrician I work for said not all babies are ready for self soothing at 6 months. Some babies aren’t ready until 9 months. Good luck!! I hope you get some good sleep soon.
My son is 9 months old and a breastfed baby since day 1. Everyone I know that feeds their baby formula, has a baby that sleeps through the night. ? Breastfed babies I swear are spoiled. My son was seriously the worlds worst sleeper up until 8 months old. He was waking up just like Molly about 3 times per night. I don’t know how I was functioning. I definitely was a mombie. But I do think you’re right about teething. It does make them sleep 10x worse. My son has 8 teeth already and cut all four top ones at the same time. It was horrible times. But Motrin got me through most nights. I literally gave it to him every 6 hours on the dot (unless he was sleeping) and it really helped. Once my son got all his teeth through like a light switch he started sleeping all night. ? Another thing that helped was when he decided to roll over and sleep on his belly. He didn’t do this until 8 months. And I swear he sleeps sooo good on his belly compared to on his back. He sleeps from 8-5 almost every night and then I wake up and nurse him and he goes back to sleep til about 830-9. I feed him dinner at 630pm and nurse him on both sides right before I lay him down so he has a really full belly to get him through the night. Also he is a thumb sucker so he sleeps in a halo sleep sack so he is able to self soothe back to sleep if he does wake up and move or roll over during the night. Definitely transition out of the sleep suit sooner than later. You have to do it sometime so why not today? That’s what I kept telling myself when I transitioned out of his swaddle. We switched to a zipadeezip at 4 months but it ended up not working out since it enclosed his hands and he likes to suck his thumb. So we switched to the sleep sack and although it did take about 2-3 days it was worth the effort. Also keep in mind letting a baby cry it out after 6 months of age is not harming. I only had to do it a total of 3 days before my son starting sleeping better. I told his doctor he was still waking up 3 times a night and he basically shook me and said let him cry, he’s waking up out of habit not because he’s hungry at this age he only needs 1 feeding a night at most. And ever since I did that it was the best thing that I ever did for him. Baby’s need their sleep too. What gave me comfort was my video monitor. Even though he cried I was able to monitor him and give myself peace of mind that he was truly ok. If you don’t have one do get one. It’s a total game changer. That is my number one favorite baby product. I have the infant optics one off amazon. Anyway, I hope some of these tips or tricks will work for you. Don’t forget you’re not alone. I went through all of the same things your going through. Everything got better once the teeth came through, he started belly sleeping and I let him cry it out a few nights. Good luck!! You’re almost there! -Brittany from Missouri
I’m right there with you, mama! I would caution against strict rules like not going in the room for 12 hours, because there will be times that she is going through a growth spurt and actually NEEDS the food, and you don’t want to deny her. Also, not sure how you feel about giving pain meds like Tylenol for teething, but sometimes the ole nip is soothing enough and that’s just what they need.
Last night my daughter had the EXACT same timing as Molly. I was laughing while reading your post. She sleeps with me in my bed, so luckily it has helped me to differentiate her cries. The night before, I fed her at every waking. Last night I was able to hear that the 930 was just a whine, for whatever reason, so it was easier to ignore. I fed at midnight (I’m happy to feed once a night to help keep my supply up), and then the 430am was a quick whine, which I ignored, and then she was up at 7. I’m not a fan of denying the comforts of mom when a baby is suffering for any reason, but I agree that we need to help them self soothe, and if that means working a burp or a toot out on their own, without mom picking them up, so be it. You’re doing a great job!
I have a 10 months and she is sleeping through the night, if she cries I go in there once give her a pacifier and her blanket lay her back down and walk out. I also saw you use lavender oil, before bed I will put a little lavender oil on my fingers and message a little along her jaw line, supposed to help with teething.
So my son will be 9 months in a week and we went through the same thing around 6 months. We had started sleep training around 5 months using the Sleep Wave method from the book The Happy Sleeper (which I can’t recommend enough!) All of a sudden around 6 months we realized he was suffering from reflux, and teething, and getting colds, so we stopped being strict on the sleep training because we thought he really needed comfort. So I ended up feeding him 2-3 times a night because it was the only way to get him back to sleep. Once we felt he was in a good place again we started the sleep training again. I was afraid to cut out the feedings cold turkey, so if it had been 3 hours I would feed him and put him back down awake. The book recommends gently weaning off feedings by reducing them by 30 seconds every other night. Once you get down to 1:30 you can cut that feeding out. Once I had weaned off the feedings he stopped waking up (or at least needing us) within a week or so. The book recommends 5 minute checks while they’re crying saying a consistent sentence every time and then leaving without soothing them. So once I stopped with the feedings it really could be a consistent response every time and wasn’t confusing to him, so he knew he was responsible for self-soothing to sleep. I hope you figure it out! I think the biggest thing is just consistency and sticking with whatever method you choose.
We were forced to move her out of the Merlin in the middle of the night because she rolled over, after never even showing signs of rocking! We put her into the halo sleep sack, and it has been smooth sailing ever since. I actually think she sleeps BETTER in the halo. At that age they are starting to move a bit more and they want to wiggle around. You may find it easier.
Also, I see you say you nurse her before bed. I found that my daughter did better with a pumped bottle before bed because then I knew 100% that she was getting X amount of ounces (we did about 5-6). Knowing her belly was super full eventually led to her not waking up quickly (like that 930pm time). Might not be an option but could be worth a shot!!!
First of all, you rock mama…remember that. You are doing things right!! I’m not a blogger or a celebrity, just a new mom that understands what you’re dealing with. I have an 11 month old, planning our Valentine baby’s first bday party now! *insert heart eyes Your approach and story sound sooo familiar. We had high hopes for that 6 month mark. We had taught him to put himself to sleep around 5 months & he did great. We would set a timer for 10-12 minutes, my husband would keep eye on the monitor while I buried my head & then after the timer went off I went up to tell Oliver night night, pat his back and walk out. By the beep of the third timer, he was sound asleep! Wahoo!! Couple nights of that & we felt proud! He was still waking up in the middle of the night though so at his 6 month check up, I asked the doc about night feedings. Once we confirmed Oliver was where he should be on the growth chart, my pediatrician said, “Oliver doesn’t need to eat, he just has really good room service.” That’s all we needed to hear! He also said they are smart enough to stop crying and listen for footsteps. Couple more nights of some crying and were getting sleep again! Every baby is different, every family is different. That’s what worked for us. The teamwork with my husband helped me so much! You’ll get there and then time will really fly. đ Good luck mama, your family is adorable!
Hey Ali- we were in the same boat. My son just turned 10 mo, and we just got him sleep trained. (Like 13 hrs a night!) Actually, he was sleep trained at 4 months, but that didn’t last long. Teething, crawling, etc. Everytime my son Jace learned a new skill, it would also interfere with sleep.
We also had to transition out of the sleep suit. I would go ahead and do it now before you get Molly sleep trained, bc then you’ll have to start over again.
We use a sleep sack. Jace loves it, and we realized he’s a tummy sleeper.
It took three brutal nights of crying it out. But my the third night he would cry for literally two seconds and then fall asleep. It helped him learn to soothe himself at night and during naps.
Honestly, I planned the CIO around my work schedule. I travel a lot, so I made my husband do it while I was gone. I knew I couldn’t handle hearing him cry.
Good luck momma!
Hope everyone’s tips help! I was not good with crying it out, but I did let her whine a bit so she could learn to self soothe. If her whine turned into a cry, then I would wait a couple minutes and then go in. My friend suggested (which worked for me) that if you hear them cry/whine a bit, wait a couple minutes and the go in and rub their back, and then do it again. The next time wait a few more minutes and go back in. That way they know you’re there, but it gives them time to try to self soothe đ Also, we used the halo sleep sacks and really liked those đ Good Luck..its a hard transition period but you’ll get through it.
We used Baby whisperer method on both kids. It’s a cross between crying it out and not crying it out. I couldn’t stand the fact of letting mine cry it out so we settled for this and it worked wonders. Read those books for the method. And hint, I sent dad in for the shh-ing and patting. Bottom line, she’s old enough to make it through night without food. Training time! đ
So first off… I love your blog! I read it often but this is the first time I am actually commenting! Mainly because my 6month old is napping while my 2.5 year old is content playing (which rarely happens simultaneously ?).
Anyways I just wanted to say that I am going through the exact same thing right now with our baby, Caden. Our first, Grady was an amazing sleeper. Like you could lay him down with noise, in a quiet room, well lit, or pitch black, didn’t matter. He would fall asleep in 20minutes and sleep through the night. We started sleep training him around 4.5-5 months and let me tell you, it was not easy for me. My husband was constantly reminding me that this was for him and improving his ability to sleep for his future. We would of course always roll out that all of his needs were met, and if they were… we would let him fuss. It only took a few nights for us to see great improvement! Grady sleeps like a champ now and I am so greatful for those nights my husband would talk me out of running to his side to feed him.
One would think I would be a pro at this whole sleep training thing by now, but our second has proved to be much more challenging. My husband is deployed currently so I don’t have his voice beside me saying “He is fine. We have met all of his needs and this is good for him.” I have had such a hard time not running to his side during the night. Reading your blog has helped me just know that I’m not alone in this! It’s hard stuff but I’m really going to make a bigger effort towards sleep training this sweet boy! I know it’s going to not only help him develope a healthy sleep future, but also help me to not be a zombie for my 2.5year old during the day. âď¸
Thank you for being so transparent with your experiences with Molly and hopefully we’ll all get some sleep soon! ?????
I would start sleep training. We did at 4 months and have been getting average of 11 hours sleep per night since. The method we used involves putting baby down at night and if they fuss give it an hour and then you are allowed to go in and access the situation. Same goes for any middle of the night wakenings, give it an hour and then go in. Tough the first few nights but SO worth it!
Hi! After reading your post and comments my suggestion is to let her self-soothe. She’s definitely not hungry, just knows she can get you to come pick her up. Or you can let her whimper for 10 minutes, go in, pat her butt and reassure her she’s fine and leave. It takes about 3 days for them to realize they are okay. I didn’t use a magic sleep suit or anything because at that point my son could roll and he loved sleeping his way. Make sense? Sometimes restricting their movement makes things a lot worse. With that being said, my son slept through the night from 5 weeks old and sleeping is still his favorite thing and he’s now just about 6. Best of luck! Stay strong! Being a mom is the hardest job ever and doesn’t come with a manual.
This sounds exactly like how my son was at 6 months! He was a terrible sleeper, he never slept longer than a 4 hour stretch at that age. He was also breastfed. I ended up buying the book “Solve your child’s sleep problems” by Dr. Richard Ferber. It was a LIFESAVER!!! By 7 months my son was sleeping 12 hours straight, 8pm-8am! He’s now 16 months and still a wonderful sleeper! Good luck, you’re doing a great job!!!
My 8 month old was up 2-4 times until she hit 6 months and we started her on solids. We feed her oatmeal 30 min before bed. Then after a book, I nurse her to calm her down and she usually falls asleep. Then I lay her down and give her a bottle that I pumped that morning. She only drinks an ounce of two, but it really gets her sleepy. She sleeps 8:30-8:30 now! I know it sounds like a lot of eating before bed, but she usually falls asleep while nursing and she doesn’t drink much out of the bottle. It’s more just a comfort thing. I think what really helped us is the oatmeal to really fill her up before bed. She’s also a tummy sleeper, which I know is a key factor. After her bottle, I roll her over to her tummy (she can roll herself but she’s so tired after the bottle that I just do it) We still use her owlet to give us peace of mind. We will use that thing until it no longer fits! Good luck!
Call a sleep consultant! We had similar issues and the sleep consultant really helped us! My daughter is now an amazing sleeper!! Minimal crying too!! She can help anywhere (she did it all by phone-email-text). Let me know if you’d like her info đ
Hi Ali! Something I learned with my first son and was breastfeeding…I would start to send his Daddy in because if I was there, he would definitely want to eat! He would soothe him/rock him. Eventually we were able to phase out the night feeds. Try sleep training, it definitely works. But don’t make yourself crazy! I always just followed my heart and intuition. I always transitioned out of the swaddle cold turkey and would put him in PJs and his sleep sack. It’s risky because baby may hate it but worth a try?! I just did that with my 2nd, who is 3 months. It’s all about trial and error. Good luck, it definitely gets better I promise!!! đ đ
Sleep training is one of the hardest things to do and yet so very rewarding once it’s over. With that being said we waited until 13 months with our son, because I, like you, could not listen to him cry and felt awful. When we finally got fed up (at 13 months), we discovered that the process was not as hard as we thought and were amassed with the results. We did not ignore our son’s cries, however, we did not help him go to sleep. But we would check on him and give him hugs, then put him back down. Consistency is KEY! You have to be 100% ready for the process and not back down. They actually learn very quickly, but there are a few painful nights of listening to them cry. It gets better, I promise!! To answer your question, no, I would not put her down at 7pm and leave her alone until 7am. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, let her cry a few minutes and then check on her, tell her you love her, hug kiss and walk away… if she cries for a really long time, check in again after a while. But again, do not feed her or put her to sleep. She will learn to self soothe and fall asleep on her own and that’s a very important skill to master. We sleep trained our second baby at 7 months and I can tell you that it is the best thing we have done with both kids… we have 2, 12 hour sleepers in their own rooms…. it’s a wonderful thing!
It is very hard, but all 3 of you will be better off once it’s done. Babies need sleep to grow…
Good luck mama!
Also, the transition out of the sleep sack shouldn’t be so bad if she’s rolling over. We kept our daughter in it forever and thought she’d never sleep without it, but once we took it away, she quickly figured out she could sleep on her belly and they love that!
First of all, you’re doin a GREAT job! Molly is clearly a happy and healthy little girl and what a blessing g that is! Good job Momma and Daddy!
I would absolutely get stricter with sleep training. I didn’t sleep train my first daughter and it was bad! I was determined to do it with my second daughter and it was HARD(listening to them cry is pitiful!!) But…..she is to this day a much better sleeper than my older child and I know that’s why. She’s also a bit more low key than my older child. I know that sounds awful!! But, it’s true and I credit it all to sleep training.
For your specific question about the 7pm to 7am thing, I would gauge it. If she goes to bed at 7pm with a full belly then she truly isn’t hungry in those wee hours of the am. But, if she wakes up by 5:30 or after I’d say she is and to go ahead and get her up for the day. I wouldn’t feed her and then put her back down at that time. She needs to know that she eats before bed and then again once she’s up for the day. Hope that helps! LOVE your blog!!
Side note- I bought that red jumper you blogged about a few monrhs ago and I LOVE it! Super cute!
I have twin 2 years olds, and we were lucky, at 3 months they were pulling long stretches of 6,7,8 hours. That doesn’t mean they didn’t wake up in the middle of the night ever. Having multiples, we attended these “Great Expectations for Multiples” classes at Northwestern where our guest speaker was Dr. Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Baby. One of the things he was strongly against was a baby monitor. Babies are LOUD when they sleep, and they will wake you up, and you will sleep less listening to every movement and stressing over everything. We did not use one at all, and today only our nanny uses it for nap time, it saved us and we got way more sleep by just keeping our doors open and letting cries wake us. Is there a chance you might prematurely go in because you hear everything? My only other suggestions would be the following. You know the cries best, the hunger vs. night terrors vs. hungry. If she is hungry feed her, otherwise, let her try and soothe herself. Secondly, when the did/do wake up, we tried not to pick them up, we rubbed their backs and sat by their cribs so they knew we were there and helped them settle down. Also, what if you sent Kevin in so she knew that their would be no feeding. Listen, there is no perfect solution, and we all try our best. Keep up the good work.
My son is about a week older than Molly, so I’m no expert–but my son is sleeping 11-12 hours a night so I’ll take it upon myself to offer my non-expert opinion đ My advice is to take her out of the Merlin suit. I was so nervous to do it too, and we had 1-2 hard days/nights after we took him out of it, but then he figured out how to sleep on his tummy or side and since then has slept like an absolute dream!! We always put him down on his back and he immediately rolls onto his side or tummy (while sucking his thumb, of course). He’s so much more comfortable and happy that way. Good luck!! (And also, I found that going in to rub his tummy and reassure him every 5-10 min when he cried and then letting him cry made me feel better, and we didn’t have to do it long at all.)
We follow precious little sleep site on fb Alexis has a book that is what the fb site is based on. When putting baby to sleep at night after bedtime routine making sure to separate last feeding and sleep at least 20-30 mins. So we do feed, bath, pj, stories or songs and then bedtime. Once in bed if they cry we don’t go in until at least 5 hours from start. Then anytime after they cry to eat we feed. Weaning feeding should be separated from sleep training . Hope that helps !
Lena was the same way, around 6 months we decided we had to do sleep training. We went with the Ferber method, which made me feel better because I wasn’t leaving her to feel abandoned. She was getting up constantly, so I wasn’t sure it would work. But after 3 nights of it she was doing so well and would put herself back to sleep before our check time!!! The longest we had to let her cry was 45 minutes…which was hard, but SO worth it. It’s the best decision we’ve made. It’s better for Lena, and better for us! You can do it!!! I wouldn’t feed her at all during the night, it’s more for comfort than hunger like you said.
you find something that works and then it’ll change a couple weeks later. We have 2 kids, 16 months and 29 months. I am still nursing my youngest- but always cut out night time feeds around 6-8 months. Instead we use a pouch of food if need be in the night. I find good/great day time sleep, consistent leads to wonderful night sleep. Sleep begets sleep. We do every nap in crib in room, always. Also, routine at night and try mom and dad so she doesn’t get use to one or the other. (This will help if you have baby #2). Also, CIO is personal taste but we did this… the first wake up we would wait 5 mins then go in. We would say love you, go back to sleep and run back or give kiss and not pick the baby up. Then if baby cried wait 10 mins now. (Adding 5 mins each time). From what I took from all the sleep training books we tried so hard not to take our kids out of their cribs but would go in and comfort them. I couldn’t handle the extinction method of leaving and not going in again. We also broke some rules and bought a little light up owl from Amazon that was plush and soothing. That way our son could turn in on without us and have something soothing to listen to.
Best wishes, good job momma! I’m still not getting good sleep…. now we have 2 year old molars and night terrors.. it never ends
Oh how I feel your pain and have been in your position except a little one that woke every hour and wouldn’t go back to sleep without nursing. I finally hired a sleep trainer (WORTH the money)that help guide me on what was BEST for my baby based on our situation and baby. We quickly found out we we’re putting him to bed to late (recommend between 6-6:30pm) and we knew he was getting enough food so we didn’t enter the room until between 6 to 7am. So hard, but OH SO WORTH IT!!
I’m a mama of 7month old twin girls (I’m 47 btw) and an almost 3 year old, and the sleep loss is brutal. I am not cut out for CIO method but have considered it sooooooo many times! I know I’ll never do it though đ One of my girls is a great sleeper, the other is not. They get the same of everything but pri)oves all babies are different.. my Mia needs more cuddle time. I breastfed my son and used to be up all night with him, comfort eating. Unfortunately I couldn’t BF my girls beyond 3 months. I find my little angel troublemaker will go back down easier if my husband does it. Solids has helped fill her belly (they were hungry for food) and I found success with mommy bliss calming drops and oragel… She’s cutting her second tooth now and She’s miserable. Get help for the night (using a bottle given by someone else) if you can to give yourself a break. She will be just fine! I promise when she sees you in the morning she will light up like always :). You know what’s best for her, but I will say you’ll be stronger with the second one! My girls are company for each other so I think that helps too.
Hi all.
My baby boy is 4 months. He wake up once at night around 3am for a bottle and then again half past 5. When he wants to play and talk. Some mornings he talk himself back to sleep.
If u can say something… Sometimes all these fancy stuff make the babies fuzzy. I know my friend had all the stuff on the market and her baby would not sleep at all. Ever tried just put her in pajamas rock her to sleep.and lay her down.
My boy is already turning in his tummy so at night i wake up to see if he is ok. He is ‘crawling’ moving forward so he is very busy. My baby take a powernap at around 6-7 pm after his feed (he is eating already doctor’s order) He then wakes up after half an our and i play with him until his eyes cant stay open anymore. He then goes to sleep 8.30pm (which is not a problem because im still awake then) how later he sleep how longer he sleeps.
I dont do.sleep training at all i refuse to let my booboo cry for so long (they only babies once) I rock him to sleep at night specificially because i work and i want him to feel his momma at night. He is a dream sleeper during the day he sleeps from 8 am (after feeding) till 9.30am. Then plays for an hour go to sleep again. Wake betwen 12 -12:30 am for his feed. Go to sleep 2 o clock till half past 4 am. Then he is awake for feed and bath time then.its his powernap.
I dont have any suits or any fancy stuff. I just do baby feed and sleep.
I hope this help.
I also have a 6 month old baby girl. She was sleeping 8-9 hours straight as a newborn then around 4 months she started waking up multiple times a night. I knew she could sleep through without eating so I did not nurse her during the night. But I mistakenly would pick her up and rock her back to sleep. Soooo she got used to using me to get back to sleep. She was also in the Merlin but we stopped using it at 4.5 months when she could roll in it. Anyway, she’s in a sleep sack now. We do bath, lotion, diaper, pjs, owlet, and brush her hair. Then sleep sack, 8oz bottle instead of nursing (to make sure she’s FULL) and then sing one song and lay her down. She was waking up crying and I was exhausted so we did cry it out. We tried the gradual one but it just hyped her up more. So one night we picked a weekend to stay home and do cry it out strictly. She cried for a while the first night, let her cry when she would wake up during the night, and whatever you do don’t go in the room bc it starts it alllll over again. The next night she cried 15 minutes before falling asleep and didn’t wake up during the night at all. And the 3rd it was only 5 minutes and hasn’t woke up in the night since!!! It is seriously a life savor. But you have to be strict about it. I sat in the bath with wine and gave my husband the monitor so I wasn’t tempted to go in! Good luck!!
When we did sleep training we still went in once a night to feed since he was only 4 months. He is 6 months now and technically he should not need to eat during the night and sleeps through the night plenty so showing he doesn’t need to eat. Every now and then if he just won’t settle after 30 min of trying to put himself to sleep we will feed him. If we wakes you can try the Ferber sleep training where you go in in increments so for examples wait 5 min then go in a shh her and rub her back for 1 min only then leave. Next time wait 7, then 12, then 15. And 15 for the rest until she puts herself to sleep. It’s really hard to hear them cry but if she has that skill she can do it it’s just easier for us to but it’s a super important skill for her to have and will help everyone in the end! If your going to do the sleep training you have to be strong and consistent and cannot go get her unless to feed! Otherwise she is learning to cry longer periods and then u will come. I know easier said than done. We had a sleep coach who trained and helped us through the process so we have a ton of experience with it. Let me know if you have any questions. Our boy is a much better sleeper now!!!!
Ali,
Every parent goes through this difficult time!!! I have a little boy 2 months older than Molly. Right around 6 months he also started getting up more at night. We decided at 6 months that we were going to put him down at 7 and let him figure it out until we got up between 6:30-7 the next day. The first few nights were rough. I made my husband sleep in the guest room with the monitor so I didn’t have to hear the crying…I highly suggest doing this! I also couldn’t take it for more than 10 minutes! After the third night, our baby was sleeping 12+ hours. He has been a great sleeper for the past two months and we feel amazing as well. I would only change one variable at a time when sleep training. Try leaving her in the Merlin sleep suit for the next week and sleep training with letting her soothe herself back to sleep this week. Next week, if she begins sleeping through the night, I would transition her into a sleep sack of some sort so that she is able to roll over. She may really like sleeping on her tummy! đ
Good luck. You are doing an amazing job! Molly is so lucky to have parents who love her so much.
Maggie
There are so many comments here so this may have already been said… apologies for any redundancy.
Here’s what worked WONDERS for us with our now ten month old:
– separate nursing from bedtime by 20-30 minutes. Your routine looks great- id just recommend moving nursing to the front of the bedtime routine. This helps remove the nurse/suck-to-sleep association so that when babies wake up they don’t feel the need to nurse or suck to fall back to sleep. This is very likely why she is waking up so much.
– set a time that you won’t go into her room before to help her elongate her first stretch. For me that time is midnight which is 5 hours after bedtime. That means if he wakes up before midnight I won’t go in. When you go in before 5ish hours it just reinforce the nurse to sleep association which results in more wake ups. It took several nights for my little guy to completely figure it out but he pretty much never wakes up before midnight anymore. (Maybe three times in the past three months)
You can make the call about whether you want to completely night wean or not. Everything I’ve read online (check out the website presciouslittlesleep.com – so much good info!!) says to focus on the sleep training first before completely weaning at night. At almost ten months, my little guy is waking up once a night between 3:30 and 4:30 and I’m totally okay with that.
Hope this helps. Sleep is a beautiful thing!!!
Look up the PRECIOUS LITTLE SLEEP blog and Facebook page. It has so much amazing info. I have a 4 month old and it has been the most helpful for us. I feel very prepared for when we have to start sleep training because of all the resources they have! And lots of other moms with very helpful advice with kids of all ages!
From what you said, I would move the feeding to the beginning of your bedtime routine. At 6 months babies develop object perminance. If one of the last things she remembers is feeding before she goes to bed that will be THE ONLY THING that she wants when she wakes in the middle of the night. Make sure she eats 20-30 min before she goes down and the night wakings should be less! Good luck mama!
Precious little sleep is. the. best.
Oh man I feel all this pain!! I remember EXACTLY how hard this all is. And so tough to because as new moms I feel like we have no clue what we’re doing. So here’s my advice and I hope it’s helpful.
We went to our dr around the same time, 6 months bc of the same reasons, he was up all night still nursing. The dr said they absolutely don’t need to be eating all night, it’s totally out of habit. So yes, I think it’s totally fine to not feed her all night. The hardest part about sleep training is hearing them cry. I actually slept at a girlfriends for the night and my husband did it, it was the best thing ever. And there are a few different ways to do sleep training. You don’t have to leave them by themselves all night. We tried the pick up put down method which made things worse. So instead my husband would go in after crying for 5 mins, rub his belly, and leave the room. He then did 7 mins, 10 mins, and then after that it’s every 15 mins. The first time took an hour and the second time he woke it only took 30 mins. If your hubby can handle it I would recommend letting him doing it. Literally my son was sleeping through the night the second night.
As far as teething here’s the thing, they don’t stop teething for 2 years, so I wouldn’t worry about that. I would just give some Tylenol to relieve the pain. I used to feel guilty about this but as long as you follow the correct dosage, it’s safe. We lived on tylenol for the first 2 years.
Ah the dam magic Merlin suit, I wished we never used that thing! I will be honest, it’s a tough transition. My best advice is to rip off the bandaid and just the sleep training with the sleep sack all at once, rather than having to do 2 transitions.
With anything else you have to be consistent and give it at least 3-5 days (takes 3 days to break a habit) as hard as that is you can’t give in. Or it’s never going to work. Same goes for toddlerhood but you have a year or 2 before that! Good luck!!
I second the Tylenol or Motrin. It worked wonders for my teething baby and I hate giving her medicine. I hate seeing her in pain more though, so we lived off of this for the first year as well!
And this sleep training method sounds like Ferber, which I have heard so many success stories! My friend has twins and she did Ferber and they literally go down so easy and sleep through the entire night. So if you or your husband can do it, definitely give it a try! Also, I say don’t transition from the Merlin to anything either, I think in the long run it will be so much better for the both of you! đ
Girl, teething suuuuucks! My daughter started teething at 3.5 months and pretty much had all her teeth by her first birthday! She would constantly wake up throughout the night because of it, so I know your pain!! I was late in sleep training (co-slept for 7.5 months), but when I started it was so hard! My little one is a high maintenance baby (who knew that was really a thing?!) and I honestly didn’t think she was capable of ever sleeping throughout the night without waking up. After she turned 1 is when she really started sleeping the whole night. I honestly think A LOT had to do with her teething. Some babies have a hard time with it and some aren’t bothered by it at all. Mine definitely was!! I can say that the best thing for me to do when she did wake up at night was to give her at least 20 mins. The majority of the time she would put herself back to sleep within 10 mins. It is the worst feeling in the world to hear them cry (and wait until Molly can say mama while she’s crying.. it’s the worst!) but in my experience, it always makes it worse if I have to go in the room. If I do, it can take at least 2 hours to get her back to sleep, so I definitely recommend giving her a little time before going in. When I first started sleep training, I did Sleep Sense with the stay in the room method and it was a lot easier on me. I didn’t stick to it though and now I continue to rock my little girl to sleep at 19 months! But she does sleep 12-13 hours through the night, I just have to break the rocking to sleep thing! She does still wake up occasionally some nights, but the best thing I do is let her put herself back to sleep. Molly will eventually get there so don’t be hard on yourself! I neeeeeever thought mine would sleep through the night without me, but she finally did. It may just take longer than you want. Also, I nursed my daughter for 12.5 months, so I think when I weaned her completely from that it helped a lot too. Hang in there! You got this!
Ali – I think it’s fine to still feed once in the MOTN, and I don’t think it would confuse her. But as far as sleep training in general, you should always let baby self-soothe for the first 5 hours after bedtime, just to make sure you break any sleep association. Also make sure that nursing ends at least 30 min before bedtime. It SUCKS hearing them cry, but with those rules I got my 5mo down from being up 4-6x per night to only twice, and I think we should be down to one wakeup per night by 6 months.
We also transitioned from the Merlin, but decided to just start using footed PJ’s instead. It hasn’t been too bad because now my son sleeps on his belly, which he seems to prefer.
Ali,
I can relate to a lot of what you’re going through. My baby boy is a week older than Molly and we’ve gone through good and bad sleep stages. We transitioned him out of a swaddle pretty early (around 3 months) and have only slept him in a Halo sleep sack since then. As soon as he could roll to his belly, he started sleeping better (~5 months). We still lay him down on his back but he always rolls to his side or on his belly and sleeps so much better. It was scary at first, he literally would sleep face down, but our ped told us after 6 months there’s no need to roll them back over if they prefer to sleep that way. He was sleeping through the night (11 hours) for about a month and then got sick and has been on and off since then. Prior to sleeping through the night he was getting up 2x to eat. I started weaning him off the second feeding by giving him his paci when he woke up whining to eat. And eventually I did that with the first night feeding to fully wean him off of night feedings.
I am in no way an expert, but here is my advice. Take her out of the Merlin cold turkey. It may be a few bad nights as she adjusts to a new sleep sack, but you might find that she prefers to sleep on her side or her stomach. Whenever you start sleep training again, consistency is KEY. It’s heart wrenching to hear them cry, and way harder on mama than baby, but regardless of how long they cry they will still wake up happy to see you in the morning. If you do decide to do Ferber method or another where you go in at incrementally longer times, send Kevin in instead of you since she associates you with food/comfort feeding. Whatever method you try, I would give it 3-4 days to see how it works with Molly. And maybe try not to do too many new things at one time (ie, new sleep sack and CIO). We moved him to his crib and unswaddled in the same week and it was a disaster. There is a lot of great advice on this feed and hopefully something will work. You are doing a great job mama!
I see some others have mentioned Zippadee-zip sleep sacks and they really are great. My advice with night times and especially feeding is, if she sleeps past a normal feeding in the night but then wakes up later obviously she didn’t need that feeding and it’s all just because she wants mommy i.e. She typically wakes at 9:30 and you feed her but tonight she makes it until 11:00 do not feed her. Honestly at 6 months she shouldn’t even really need to nurse at night it’s more of just a comfort for her. Once you get her off feedings at night then hopefully she will soothe and just go back to sleep. And get into a good routine.
We used the chair method after using the Sleep Sense program by Dana Obleman. It was literally the best thing ever. My kiddo had a hard time putting himself to sleep but it seems like Molly can do that based on what you said. The Sleep Sense program comes with two weeks worth of videos and she covers everything that might have happened the night before and how to address it. She also discusses night time feeds and how to drop them if you think your baby will be fine without eating in the night. It was literally the best thing for our little guy. The great thing about using thenchair method is you sit in the room with them and can soothe by talking or rubbing their back/head. I could never do cry it out! I couldn’t handle it either. So glad we did sleep training! I always tel everyone I wish we would’ve done
Hey! I think you just have to suck it up ( in a good way:) and just realize Molly is just not going to be a good sleeper. No new gadgets or books have been too helpful so when she cries for you, like really cries just go be with her. You don’t have to talk. Comfort her, pat her perhaps even rock her. Babies are very clever little beings and all she’s telling you by crying is she needs her mommy. Most likely just for comfort. When you look at it as a whole. This isn’t forever Ali. Maybe you could take turns with daddy but she wants to be close to you. That is natural. Not “naughty”. She spent 9months in the womb so close to you and suddenly she has to do this on her own which clearly gives her anxiety/stress and as hard as it for you please try đ Can’t your mom or soon to be mom in law who I know live far away come for a week or two and help out in the night? It’s not failure asking for help Ali. With sleep you will be a better mom for Molly. Or even how bout finding the best of the best night nurse for maybe 2 or 3nights. Where you know every week you will at least get a full nights rest. Also if you one day decide family or night nurse have a scarf or something that smells of you so she doesn’t freak out and has something for comfort and you know what? She will be just fine with someone you trust wholeheartedly. She will get used to that person and it will be fine. Sometimes babies play up for MOM đ So that would be my advice. She isn’t in the newborn stage anymore. You can still do your bedtime routine and even show her that the night nurse or granny is here and they know for themselves too. You will all wake up better people for it AND you get to spend some quality time with your fiance đ đ
I have a 9.5 month girl who is a decent sleeper, but still has her ups and downs with sleep. We have found that sometimes she can whine herself back to sleep, but never when she starts crying. Every family is different though and you do what’s best for you. 1) We found once she was old enough to sleep on her belly, she slept much better. 2) If you don’t already, send daddy in if she wakes up. I would always just do it bc I figured she needed nursed, but I found that she’s just going to nurse for comfort if you go in (and that’s fine too!). But sometimes daddy can sooth her quicker bc she’s not nursing or waking up when she stops, etc. 3) I know I may get some criticism on this and Molly may still be young, but we let her sleep with a small, thin burp cloth or washcloth. I’m very much into the American Academy of Pediatrics guidelines and cautious with babes, but she won’t take a pacifier but can soothe herself with the cloth. Since we let her have that, she wakes up significantly less or at least gets herself back to sleep very quickly. Again, I know this isn’t recommended, by works for us and we watch her very closely on her monitor. Is there something else you have that soothes her like this?
That all being said, you’re doing a great job momma! Thanks for putting it all out there for the rest of us Momma’s who are going through the same issues!
We have a 6 month old little boy and just had our pediatric visit. Like Molly, Will was waking up 2-4 times a night and I was feeding him every time. Eek!
So our pediatrician suggested we work to wean those night feeds and get him sleeping better. She didn’t want us to go cold turkey, but down to one time a night for now and then work on cutting that one feed by 9 months. So we talked about when she typically wakes up and a common theme is 1-2 am. So she said, put her down at night (For us it is 7:30) and set your alarm for 1:30. Then you go to her, get her out and do a dream feed. You want to go to them when they aren’t fussing so they don’t learn that their fussing gets food or you. After that 1:30 am feed you don’t go back in until they’ve been asleep for a minimum of 11 hours.
So for us our night last night was: bed at 7:30…dream feed at 1:30…quiet until 5:30. Then we let him fuss and he put himself back to sleep until 7:45.
And like you we are in the Merlin for now…tackling one problem at a time!
Aw Ali this mama definitely feels your pain! I have an almost 3 year old and an almost 10 month old. We sleep trained them both so I can totally relate to how hard it is to listen to your baby cry. You just want to go in and snuggle them up and make them all better. But what I quickly learned is that by going in to snuggle either of them I wasn’t making them better at all. I was creating a sleep crutch. We hired a sleep consultant with our oldest and went back to that sleep plan while sleep training our baby. At four and five-month-old both our sleep consultant and paediatricians assured us that neither of our daughters needed to eat during the night. They were both using breast-feeding as a crutch to fall back asleep. As long as molly is gaining weight at the rate her paediatrician is comfortable with then she will be totally fine to not eat for the 12 hours that she is sleeping. What our sleep consultant told us when we were sleep training our first is that if I did want to feed her once during the night to pick a time say 3 AM and anytime she woke up before that let her put her self back to sleep if she woke up around three I could go in and feed her and then again not go in until the morning we decided against this because like you I thought it would be a bit confusing for them to differentiate between why I was coming and sometimes when they cried and not other times. When we started to sleep train them the first few nights were pretty tricky listening to them cry but we stuck to it and after 2 nights for our oldest and three nights for our youngest they were fully putting themselves to sleep and have been ever since. Like you said in your post you know that Molly is able to do it because she does it during the day. Consistency is definitely the key. They are smart little babies and they catch on quicker than you think they might. When we sleep trained our oldest I put a sign on her door that said stop she is safe you are allowing her to put herself to sleep to give myself that extra reminder anytime I wanted to open her door I also made a point of going out with my friend for dinner the first night and letting her daddy put her to bed because it was easier for him to not run in every time she cried that night I slept downstairs with the TV on and left the monitor beside her daddy so that I didn’t automatically hear her every time she cried. It sounds like you’re on the right track you just need to trust your instincts and know that she knows how to put herself to sleep. I would definitely recommend hiring a sleep consultant to give you that extra boost of confidence that you’re doing the right thing. Another great thing that the sleep consultant taught us is that The more children sleep before midnight the more beneficial that sleep is because of their circadian rhythm’s. so you were right on track with the 6 to 7 PM bedtime. Keep up the great work. Being a mom is the hardest but best job in the entire world. Oh and I’ve also used a sleep sac similar to the one you posted since they were four months old. They are both able to roll around in it but it still keeps them warm during the night.
We started sleep training when my son was around 4 months old, and I felt like I had SO many questions about how often to go in, what to do when I went in, and how often to feed him at night. So, I went to the book store and read through all the sleep trainjng books I could find and settled in this one. I felt like it’s the sleep training bible! Since you’ve decided to let her cry it out a little I feel like this book will answer any question you could possibly have! Good luck, momma! For us it only took about a week of being very consistent and following the instructions in this book to the T. No our son is 21 months and has been sleeping through the night since 4 months! http://www.barnesandnoble.com/mobile/w/solve-your-childs-sleep-problems-richard-ferber/1115231359?ean=9780743217668&st=PLA&sid=NOK_DRS_NOOK+EBooks_00000000&2sid=Google_&sourceId=PLGoP25491&k_clickid=419×25491&utm_source=Google+PLA&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=&utm_campaign=NOOK+EBooks
As a first time mom myself I understand, although I had premmie who by three months was sleeping thru the night. Then one night he started waking himself up cause he was rolling. Little did we know this was the start of him trying to sleep on his tummy. Once he could sleep in his tummy he was back to sleeping thru the night, or so we thought. Teething started at 4 months but the his teeth didn’t cut till he was seven months. I broke down and started giving him Tylenol only at bedtime cause that seemed to be the time his teeth bothered him the most. Poor was chewing his binky to death. So once we got that figured out and his teeth finally broke thru he was back to sleeping almost thru the night. I know everyone has their own ideas of what works and doesn’t. Here’s what we do. Food I notice is very important in getting a baby to sleep for longer time periods. My baby wakes up at 745 I give him a 8oz bottle. He plays and goes down for a morning nap around 900-930. I keep all his naps to hour or hour and a half tops. Around 10-1030 he gets fruit mixed with oatmeal cereal. More play and then a 5-6 oz bottle at around 1130 12. A 1 o’clock nap for an hour to hour and a half. Bottle again 3-330. No the key is no more napping after 4pm. I know it’s hard but he is so sleepy by the time I put him to bed is an easy night time routine and he plays so much during this time. He makes himself tired. Around 6 I give dinner and bath and last bottle I make sure I give him 8oz so he has a nice full belly for sleeping. Also I be been using a sleep sack. It’s great for them. I throw two binkys in his crib so when he rolls around he can find them. So far it’s working and mom and dad are happy to be getting a full night sleep. Good luck and hang in there.
Hi Ali!
When you initially put her down at night are you putting her in bed awake or asleep? In my experience putting her in bed awake and doing the cry it out at that time will yes be hard on you but it will go a long way in helping her establish longer stretches of sleeping through the night. FWIW neither of my babies slept through the night completely at 6 months either. People always commented “oh 6 months old, you’re sleeping through the night now right” no. Not my kids. You know what’s best for you and her, but I think there’s nothing wrong with a middle of the night feeding at this age. And I think with the bedtime sleep training she will naturally drop it when she’s ready. Good luck girl!
Hi!
I have been going through the same with with my 7 month old girl. And I have had so many other mom friends reach out about how she is sleeping so they know they aren’t alone ha! I have been all over google searching what to do. I hate letting her cry too long. Because she doesn’t calm down she only get more worked up. 2 things I read and thought made sense and made me feel comfortable. To set a timer for when you let them cry. Maybe start with 5 mins then go in pat them on the back and walk out. Then 10 then 20. You can really start with whatever time. The other thing was to send your partner in the room in the middle of the night. Because the baby will smell your milk! My daughter is addicted to being nursed ha!! When she was a new born I had to do everything to keep her awake while nursing. And I worried about it so much ( when I shouldn’t have) and I feel like I ruined her ha!!! So if you decide to cave and comfort her in the middle of the night send in Dad! Doesn’t hurt to try. We are all just figuring this out ha!!
If she is taking good naps and getting the recommended ounces for her weight during the day I would not feed her in the middle of the night. It’s so hard but I find turning the sound off on the monitor (but still watching/hearing her through the door) helped me when she was crying! The love to dream swaddle up was SO helpful in our transition!! If her naps aren’t great (or even too long) I would take a look at her schedule as that can affect night sleep as well. I followed a combination of babywise and moms on call schedule at that age. My little girl is 10mo now…I promise it gets better!!
Not sure if this has been said. But that poor baby probably wants to sleep on her side or tummy! Once they can roll and hold their heads up they can sleep on their stomach if they position themselves that way on their own. I place my 8-month old down on his back for every nap and bedtime and he immediately goes to his tummy. We transitioned from the swaddle to the Zipadeezip at 5 months and maybe used that for one month. From 6 months on just a footed Jammie and most nights 1 wake up and he IS hungry because he downs a 4 oz bottle. In the AM it’s the same- he will play for a half hour before he’s hungry but I’d rather that than him wake up starving bc he’s had nothing for 12 whole hours!
PLEASE don’t leave your poor baby 12-hours straight! I still get up 1X/night to feed him but it’s not so bad. Doesn’t take longer than 15m and he goes right back to sleep. 12-hours is a long time!! And get her out of that suit she’s too old for it and will be more comfortable putting herself back to sleep when she can position herself however she wants.
You think no sleep blanket at all? I thought the sleep suit (not the Merlin, the only one) was a safe way for the baby to have a blanket. No?
No, no blanket just footed jammies. We live in FL so his room doesn’t get too cold. But for chilly CA nights, I would just get the fleece footed jammies. He wears cotton footed jammies. I adjust his ceiling fan to the weather.
Sorry he does have a small blanket in the crib- he cuddles with his 16″x16″ breathable blanket/”lovey”. Doesn’t provide warmth of blanket but assists with soothing. He will chew on it throughout the night. I have 4 of them and change all the time bc they’re soaked with drool from teething. I can’t help but think this helps his sleep too.
https://www.adenandanais.com/blankets/security-blankets/high-seas-classic-issie-7516
We use non restrictive sleep sacks from Carter’s or Baby DeeDee. Still has warmth and the same ritual, but without the restriction.
My best advice is to go cold turkey and take the magic suit away! I tried the suit with my 6 month old when we transitioned from the swaddle and it helped for about an hour and then she hated it. That’s when I just put her in a sleep sack and let her cry it out and now she goes down without any issues. Molly might be waking up more often bc she wants to move and get comfortable but the suit is restricting her. It’s hard to let them cry it out but stay strong!
YOU ARE A STRONG WOMAN AND A GREAT MOM. YOU CAN ABSOLUTELY TEACH YIUR DAUGHTER HOW TO SLEEP. I HAVE TOTAL FAITH IN YOU!!!!
I had recommended Dr Weisbluth’s book to you and I think you said you bought it. It was really my bible when my now 18 and 15 year old girls were babies. I also sleep trained my first baby at 5 1/2 months. My pediatrician told me and from everything I read, babies can sleep through the night at 12 lbs. It sounds like Molly can absolutely do it, and is on her way, but hate to say this, you are actually holding her back. It only takes 3 nights!!! And I would count last night as your 1st night. Also when teething I gave them a small does of Tylenol before bed. You are strong and I know you can do it. If you don’t, she will be waking up when she is older which is so much harder to sleep train. Also, sleep brings sleep and and she will have an amazing nap schedule which you will LOVE!!! Let me know how your next two nights go. After the third night you will absolutely asking yourself why you didn’t do this so much sooner!!! Good luck!!!!
I have so many books. I need to re-read them now that she’s older. And thank you for the word of encouragement!
How did last night go? (Thursday night)
Hi, I love this post because I have twin almost 4 month old boys (and a 3year old daughter) so sleep is something we are not getting much of in our house either. I would say yes do not feed her anymore in the middle of the night- she does not need it and you have to break the cycle at some point. Sleep training takes a good two weeks so you may need to go in to soothe her but then after the two weeks is up and you see progress, you don’t need to keep going back into her room in the middle of the night. Self soothing is so important- she will get it don’t give up! We sleep trained our 3 year old and while it was very hard (you do have to listen to them cry) it was the best thing we ever did! We plan to sleep train our twins as well. One twin is sleeping great- through the night and the other twin is not & is still up 2 times a night to nurse- he doesn’t even seem that hungry but rather a comfort thing or habit – it’s so hard to tell. But we keep praying every night he will sleep longer stretches! It’s been rough so as a mama thanks for the realness of your post. Your daughter is so lucky to have such a wonderful mother.
Best,
Kate
I don’t think you should cut her off cold turkey. Maybe don’t feed if she wakes up before 1am, etc. not all babies are alike and some might need more nutrition or just more comfort time.
I also have a 6 month old baby girl, so I’ve been following your journey! Our daughter was a really good sleeper until she hit 3/4 months. At about 5.5 months we were going into her room over 10x per night to put her pacifier back in or for me to nurse her. After I got a cold and my husband was in charge one night, he finally understood the need to sleep train her! So he has been leading the effort. We decided he would put her down and then go to her all of the times she didn’t need to eat, that way I wouldn’t be tempting her with my boobs… And I wouldn’t give in to nurse her. I picked two time ranges 11-2 and 3-5 to go in to nurse. IF she cried during those times, I went in right away and fed her once during that range. If it was outside those times or I had already fed her, my husband went in to soothe her for a minute and then leave. He did intervals, starting out at 5 min and increasing each night. Also with my feedings, I decreased the minutes of feeding by one minute each night to ensure she wouldn’t go from eating a lot to starving. Eventually after we got to 3 min on each side she stopped the first one. I’m still doing a 4 am feeding for a little while longer but eventually plan on eliminating that as well. She now sleeps from 7 to 7 with that one feeding! She will usually wake up one other time in the night, cry for a few, but put herself back to sleep before we have to go in. It’s so hard to hear them cry, but recruit Kevin to help and you can be strong for each other!!
Ali – you’re doing great, so don’t beat yourself up. Sleep is HARD, and luckily, there are many different approaches that you can try. The key is remembering that sleep training is not a one-size-fits-all approach and that you have to find something that will give Molly the consistency that she needs while still keeping you guys in your comfort zone. I personally had a hard time with “cry it out”, so we did the sleep shuffle method. There is still some crying, of course, but it’s a lot less difficult to deal with. The method was really effective for us and it set a good foundation for when my kiddo would go through various sleep regressions. There are some great resources on the web on this method (and please feel free to email me if you’d like more on our personal experience with it).
Also, we used the Swaddle Up 50/50 Transition sleep sack. Totally awesome and Molly can grow with it.
Good luck! You are doing great. Sleep is mystifying, but every baby is different and NO season lasts forever. đ xo
Hey Ali!
Sleepwear: we used the Halo Sleepsack and my son loved it.
Night feedings: Have you tried the dream feed? Instead of waiting for her to wake up the first time (9:30-11pm), go into her room and feed her while she’s still sleeping, then put her right back to bed. I did this right before I headed to bed for the night and then that would usually buy me at least 5-6 hours of solid sleep, and also meant my son was really sleeping for 8-9 hours straight.
If you are confident that she’s eating plenty during the day, then pick a sleep training plan and stick to it. It is SO hard, but you know your little one best. You know her “hungry” cry, her “I need something STAT” cry, and her whimper/”I want snuggles” cry. If it’s one of the first two, then go in. If it’s not, stay strong and let her self-soothe. You might have to start back over with short crying periods and gradually extend the time before you go back in.
Good luck–I promise you will (someday) get a solid night of sleep!
Hi Ali!
I hear you!! It is your first baby and everything is new for you as well. So many things happening!!
I have two kids. When I had my first, I found a GREAT book for new mom and it inspired me a lot especially sleeping part. When I found the book my first was already 5 months and I was a bit behind for training but I tried and it worked. When I had second one, I started to try when he was 1 months old and he started sleeping through night by 2 months old. You might know already this book but if you haven’t read it I recommend!
Good luck and I hope you can get beautiful sleep soon…….:)
I went through the same thing through 4-6 months with my daughter. She was an amazing sleeper until 4 months and than btwn 4-6 months was waking up probably 3- 4 times a night on average and needing us to rock her back to sleep, and she would only go down if she was fully asleep. At 6 months I broke and realized we needed to do something- a friend had Skype with a sleep trainer and they did the Ferber method (checking on them at intervals but never picking them up) and it worked within days for them. I was skeptical but after being strict with it for 3 days she started sleeping through the night and at 18 months now is still an awesome sleeper!! It’s heartbreaking to hear them cry but after 2 really awful nights of crying (and one night of just crying when getting herself initially to sleep) it worked!! Hope this helps and good luck! I thought the same thing but I promise you will sleep again đ
The best analogy I’ve heard on sleep training, is that if your baby was crying in their car seat while you were on the freeway you wouldn’t take them out, it’s not good for them. Same with sleep training, don’t cave, it’s not good for them. When I was sleep training my little guy at first I’d cave and then he’d cry longer and longer. Which actually made him hurt worse in the end. I was hurting him unintentionally.
Now I lay him down, say goodnight, rub his head and then leave. He falls asleep within 10 minutes (usually cooing himself to sleep not crying)! When I was first training if he cried I let him for 10 minutes, then I’d go in to tell him mommy is here and I love him, then I’d leave. I’d wait another 10 minutes and repeat. It never went on for more than 30 minutes and usually never past the first 10 min mark.
The hard part is actually listening to them cry. So take the monitor downstairs away from their room, and turn off the volume and picture. Watching the lights is all you really need to make sure they are safe. Every 5 min. check the video to be sure they are safe but turn it back off so you don’t cave!
And don’t start with night time! Try a nap when you aren’t exhausted and have other things to do to distract you. And if you still cave because it hurts you too much, then maybe leave to run errands and have your hubby or a grandparent do the training đ
Good luck mama! You need sleep, don’t stand in your own way! I say that with a smirk bc for me once my little one was sleeping through the night I suddenly got insomnia and couldn’t sleep! Figures. Ha. Dr. said to take a benedryl and it really does help!
Best of luck Ali! I love your blog and your adorable mom fashions.
I can totally relate. My daughter recently started day care and of course got a stomach bug the first week. This threw off her whole schedule and she began to wake up in the middle of the night. Once the stomach bug had passed…she continued to wake up and that’s when I learned she was going through the dreaded 4 Month Sleep Regression. I started researching on ways we can get through this(there’s only so much coffee can do, especially for a mommy working full time). I learned its all about sticking to a routine and made sure that not only I but her day care teachers stuck to that routine. She has to be fed every 3 hours during the day. When she gets home, I give her a bath followed by her final bottle at 8PM…lights are dim…soothing noise maker is on…and she falls asleep in her crib. First night, this worked like a charm…the second night she began to get fussy around midnight. I tried giving her the pacifier to help her self soothe but after multiple tries, it wasn’t fully working. I finally gave in and held her in my arms with the pacifier in her mouth. She fell asleep within 5 minutes for the rest of the night. I tried my best not to feed her b/c I knew she wasn’t hungry(my mistake in the past). If Molly is fussy from the pain, I would definitely recommend giving her Tylenol before bed time(especially since there’s so much controversy on teething gels/tablets). Also- have you tried freezing some fruit for her to eat during the day now that she’s on solids? As for sleep sacks, she’s usually fine in the regular Carter’s sleep sacks. I really think it’s all about the routine(letting her know it’s bed time) and letting them self soothe(yes even though I’m guilty of breaking this rule). Good luck- this is my first baby as well…best feeling in the world but it’s also non stop stress hahah.
My daughter slept not bad between like 3.5-5 months (up once in the night) and as soon as she hit 5 months it was a nightmare. I slept worse at that point then I ever had with her. She did cut a couple of teeth and I’m blaming a possible sleep regression? We tried all sorts of different things but nothing worked. We eventually just let her cry it out and she figured it out. Sometimes we would go in and give her her soother so that she knew she wasn’t getting a bottle just to be put back to sleep. Currently she goes to bed at 7pm, gets up for a bottle between 530-630am and typically goes back to sleep until 8am. She has and still does sleep in a Halo Sleep Sack. Have you tried stomach sleeping her? I was always so paranoid but my daughter rolled there on her own and slept a million times better when I didn’t try to keep her on her back all night (I still always lay her to sleep on her back and she always rolled over) It does get better and listening to them cry is terrible, but all that worked for us! Good luck mama!
I had an amazing sleeper until teething started, as soon as that started – which was around 8 months for us, it was terrible. Things finally got better around 15 months, and I did “sleep training” by letting him cry for 15m once I knew nothing was actually wrong, then going in and giving comfort. Did that for two nights, then started extending it out by 5m each time and it took four nights or so but we got back to sleep.
First, sorry you are having a rough go of it! It will get better đ my 3 month old sleeps through the night and it is amazing!
When he was newborn we only got up to feed him once a night (every 4 hours) as we would feed at 11pm, 3am and 7am. I think it makes a big difference to start that early on. He now sleeps in his crib in his own room and sleeps from 9:30pm-6:30am. I honestly think 6 or 7pm for bedtime is too early if you want her to sleep all night. Our son was waking once at night when we had 6:30 bedtime. Now we feed him at 6pm and let him play and he will nap between 7:30-8:15 and then sort of chills out on a playmat in the living room with us until his 9:30 bottle and bedtime.
We use the love to dream sleep sack and it has been amazing. Easy to transition as the sleeves unzip. We do baths in the morning so our only bedtime routine is diaper change, love to dream sack, bottle in the rocking chair by his crib and he falls asleep while drinking and goes down for th night. We do give him 7oz to hold him all night. I also removed the tubing from my dockatot and placed in the crib so that he doesn’t hit the spindles if he moves during the night. It gives him that comfort he needs too bc he was used to the dockatot in his bassinet before transitioning to the crib. He is also used to crying it out some during the day if he wakes from a nap and I am showering etc and can’t get him right away.
You obviously have to do what works best for you and all babies are different. Just trial and error and wine! Hang in there!:)
Hey Molly!
It’s totally normal for a 6 month old to feed twice a night. At this point, if you could get back to feeding her just twice a night (nothing more) that would be fabulous for you! I sleep trained my 6 month old, as well. I read a sleep training blog called ‘Precious Little Sleep.’ They say when you start your night and lay them down with a full belly, don’t go back to them until midnight. Any wakings before then they need to put themselves back to sleep. I remember at that age my daughter had 2 feedings, 12 and 4.
I live in Sweden and there seems to be a huge difference in how we do in these situations. Here it is not that common to let your baby cry her or him self to sleep, since it’s been researched a lot that it does damage to the child, emotionally. If the child cries and nobody comes he or she will learn that there is no use in crying. And a child has to be able to show his or her emotions and to be heard. BUT I am not judging, I know how hard it is when you don’t get any sleep. I just could not bare to hear my baby cry and not pick her up. I also don’t have any good recommendations since my girl (1,5) wakes up at night and then gets to sleep in our bed. Would love a solution that doesn’t involve letting her cry her self to sleep đ
Yes I am a little shocked how the majority of posters are saying to do this when there is so much research out there saying it doesn’t teach a baby anything other than not to trust their parents will come for them. It breaks their trust. If it goes against your instinct to let them cry alone- don’t!! Because they should not!:/
A 6 month old has still been outside your body a shorter amount of time than it has been inside your body- so young…
Even Science Agrees You Literally Can’t Spoil a Baby
http://www.scarymommy.com/even-science-agrees-you-literally-cant-spoil-baby/
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Hi Ali!
You will sleep again, I promise! Across the board in almost every parenting topic the biggest theme I see is consistency! I know lots of other ladies have said that as well, so whatever you decide to do you just have to stick to it. What helped me the most, and a few other people I know, was sending dad in. I always had such a hard time waking my husband up to go in there, but it works. Dad doesn’t have the milk to feed and Molly knows that. Listening to your baby cry is one of the hardest things to deal with as a mother especially. So sending dad in can give your baby some comfort and show her that she is loved, but also makes the point that she isn’t going to get to eat and needs to go to sleep. We set a specific amount of time that we would let our son cry before going in there, but we would only go in there if he was really crying, not just whining. It can be so hard for a few days but it usually only takes 3 to 4 days for them to learn BUT it’s totally worth it if she sleep through the night (almost) always! You know your baby best, if you know she is eating enough during the day then it is perfectly okay for her to go without eating all night. Hang in there!
Read the book, sleep sense. It’s sleep training, but once you start doing it… There’s no turning back. Just let her cry it out every time. We sleep trained our baby at 4 months (45 minutes of crying the first night), she has been sleeping 12-13 hours a night since then and she is now 9 months old. She occasionally cries for 5-10 minutes but 99% of the time she falls asleep before that without me going in there. She occasionally wakes up in the night and puts herself back to sleep without me going in there. If I go in after she cries for 10 minutes, I don’t pick her up, I stay for less than a minute, I check her diaper for poop, and/or pat her head to calm her down. Day time is for eating, nighttime is for sleeping. She sleeps in a sleep sack and rolls onto her tummy all the time (every night), doctor said that is fine! Seriously, sleep training is worth it if you stick to it. I don’t regret it one bit even though it was hard. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be for both you and Molly. Good luck.
I have a teething seven month old (June 16) and we sleep trained at 5 months. The one advice she gave us and you get is that they are ok. She’s not hungry or dirty. She probably is just used to the comforting. What we do is a sleep schedule from 8-8 so you could do 7-7. The only time we go in from 8 pm-8 am is if he has been full on crying for 15 minutes. We even set an iPhone timer. Then we go in quietly try to soothe him and don’t pick him up if possible. As soon as he quiets we leave. If he starts again we start timer over. It has been really hard bur super effective for us! Good luck I know it’s rough our guy was just sick and we are starting over to some extent….
Hi Ali! My son is 6 months, named Owen (like your fur baby!). He is breast fed.
Owen goes to bed at 6pm and has been sleeping until about 4:30-5 am. I then nurse him and he goes back to sleep until 630. He was NOT always like this (was waking 4x a night 3 weeks ago) and sounds a lot like we went through the same struggles you are experiencing. He usually cries at 9:30 pm but I know he’s fed, changed, burped, and just fine…so I let him cry. He cries about 15 minutes then goes back to sleep. It’s very hard to hear him cry and not instinctively do something, but as a mom you know you’re baby has to learn to self soothe! When i started sleep training he cried for longer periods, but my heart never let him cry longer than 45 min. And that was *hard*. My advice: let her cry if it’s under, say, 4 hours since her last feed, to start. And feed her oatmeal or rice cereal an hour before bedtime (or whenever supper is).
We have a Zipadee Zip sleep sack. If Molly is a comfort thumb sucker, this sack may not work for her because of the arm design. My son sleeps better in his zipadee than any other, and he sucks the little arms to sooth himself, which makes for wet stinky zippadee arms in the morning, but it works for him! Lol. I think the arms may be a hard transition for us to break, just as the Magic Sleeper is for you.
Also, I notice if Owen has terrible naps or not enough sleep durring the day, night sleep is bad too. He ends up overtired and wakes more often. So make sure naps are frequent. đ
The comforting technique of going in baby’s room to shhh him when he’s crying at night has never worked for me. Owen just gets more upset when i come in and leave without feeding him!
Do what works best for Molly đ
Ali, you are doing a great job! At the end of the day, you are there for Molly and that’s all that matters. I have a 15 month old son, and let me tell you… There were MANY sleepless nights. At 6 months I also felt I would have had a baby who slept through the night as most of my friends babies were… Boy was I wrong. My little one was up 4-8 times a night until he learned to walk around 8.5 months old. They certainly test your sanity! I exclusively breastfed, and he ate like a champ throughout the day. We did the lavendar oils, baby massages and some cry it out sleep training. He took a soother which did help some but when he couldn’t find it in the night, it did not make much of a difference. At 7 months I decided I wouldn’t feed him unless it was after 4 am as I felt this was an appropriate stretch to not be nursing.
It is horrendous hearing your child cry, and we just couldn’t stick to our crying it out method (aka mom couldn’t). Eventually he learned that I would come comfort him but not pick him up… That made a big difference, as he still knew I would come if he needed me, but wouldn’t be cuddling or playing when I came in.
It’s all about self soothing and truly every child is unique. Some need more attention from their moms, as they just seem to be more sensitive. I promise this is not going to last forever and eventually miss M will figure it out too… Maybe not before making her mommy go a little coo coo, but she will.
Society also leads us to believe babies should be sleeping the night… In fact they truly aren’t hard wired to do that… “Sleeping through the night” actually means 6 hours…
Our little man sleeps 10-12 hours straight now! And I promise Molly will get there too!
Just keep being the best mom you can and nap nap nap! All the best
In my opinion, the BEST sleep sack is the Premium Bamboo Cotton Sleep bag by Wee Urban. It is a Canadian company and I order them online. You can get their normal sleep bags on Amazon, but the Premium one is the best because it unsnaps and unzips to flatten out so that you can put the baby in it while she is asleep if necessary. It also has an extra zipper to unzip from the bottom so you can change a diaper etc without fully removing the sleep sack. It is also super soft and warm and comfy! My 2.5 year old daughter still sleeps in one! Sleep sacks are also great long term for keeping toddlers from trying to climb out of cribs! đ
Hi Ali!
I also sleep trained my little girl using the sleep sense program by Dana Obleman (which I’d be happy to share, book in PDF form). We decided to sleep train at 6 months because my husband was going out of town and I worried that I wouldn’t keep my sanity, haha. Anyway, it was three nights of letting her cry it out (there’s a second method in this book if the crying bothers you). Night 1 almost an hour of crying, night 2 30 minutes night 3 20 minutes. After that no more than 10 minutes of crying. Now she usually plays. My little one is 11 months now and she loves to go to bed, sleeps 10-12 hours a night and naps twice a day. She has a little nap toy and one for bedtime.
It was hard at first but you’ll be so grateful to have you time, time to be with your spouse and the coveted sleep you’ve been missing! Best of luck!
I forgot to mention that my doctor said if your baby is eating well, gaining weight and more than 13lbs, generally happy then they are ready to sleep through the night.
For teething, I use Camilia (homeopathic medicine)… It works!
I found the simple solution was letting my boys cry it out unfortunately. But boy did they learn quickly! After a couple nights only it corrected their sleeping. Of course every child is different and what worked for mine may not work for others. It is not causing psychological damage to the child like some people may say. That’s just not a fact. Crying is a natural human emotion. Kids will cry. Adults will cry. As long as you know she is not hurt/sick/hungry then you know she is just fine :). And yes you will sleep again! Maybe sooner than you think đ
I agree with this. Our pediatrician told us she needs to sleep and we need to sleep too. If Molly has slept for 8 hours before, then hold her to it! The first 3 days were ROUGH. Like, painful. It’s not easy to let your baby cry, and mine cried for over an hour for probably 2 nights. But within a week it was much better, and she rarely, I do mean rarely, wakes up in the night. She’s almost 15 months now. I felt like an awful mom at the time but I was tired, cranky, and had the green light from the pediatrician. I assure you my Lia is a happy child and is not psychologically damaged.
No intervention at all is what I would recommend to you (for 8 hours at night, since you know she can last that long). It will be tough (very tough) but I think it will resolve your issue quickly. Do what you feel is best, good luck!
I also do footed pajamas for him to sleep in bc he rolls all around now
I have a 18 month old who has struggled with sleep since the beginning. The best advice I can give you is so what you feel is right- don’t over think it. Every time my son would cry in the middle of the night, we gave him a few minutes to go back to sleep himself, and if he didn’t we would go cuddle him in the recliner in his room, then put him back in bed. We were really consistent about his bedtime routine and putting him back in his bed over night. Now- he is sleeping though the night 90% of the time and if he does wake we cuddle him for a minute or so and he is back to sleep. Every baby is different and you are her mom so go with your gut!! Good luck! Losing sleep sucks and I have totally been there thinking will I ever sleep through the night again!!!???! And you will. đ
Hi Ali, thank you so much for posting this! I’m a first time mama too, my little girl was born 7-11-16 and it sounds like her and Molly have similar sleep habits! We have had such great success with the Baby Merlin’s Magic sleep suite and having her in her own crib. Now that she is rolling over so much in her sleep I know its time to transition out of the sleep suite, but as soon as we did she cried all night! I don’t know what to do!
Does anyone know where I can find the zipadee zip? Or is the sleep sack a better option?
I wish I had advice but mostly I just wanted to let you know how helpful your posts have been or me and my little girl. Thanks!!
Through their website – https://www.sleepingbaby.com/
It’s another swaddle transition that allows them to roll over in. It has a restricted wing span to help them feel swaddled more than a typical sleep sack. I transitioned my daughter from the Merlin to the Zippy to a standard sleep sack with no issues!
Thank you!! We’ll give it a try!
Hey Ali! You will sleep again! I have two kids ages 4.5 and 2.5. My youngest slept awesome the first couple of months and then became a nightmare. It’s perfectly normal for a breastfed baby to wake at least once at 6 months to feed. In response to your updated question, I don’t think feeding her once is a bad idea. You’ll be able to know if she’s nursing for comfort or hunger…if she falls back asleep right away and she’s not actually drinking, its comfort. For the other times, I sleep trained my son at 8 months. I did it by going in every ten minutes, laying him down and gave him his blanket and paci, told him I loved him and walked out. I did that every ten minutes until he was calm and ended up falling asleep. At that age, they don’t know what ten minutes means and that way I didn’t feel like I was abandoning him, he knew I was there but i wasn’t giving in. He sleeps 12-14 hours a night now and is the snuggliest kid in the world (so crying it out didn’t damage him). I also used a zipadeezip as many above mentioned. Good luck! Trust your instincts…being a mommy is so hard but so great all at the same time.
I think you already answered your own questions! She’s getting plenty during the day she does not need it during the night. Ditch the suit and sleep train (and get ready for a couple rough nights). It’s hard but SO WORTH IT. I have friends who never sleep trained and their 3 year olds STILL do not sleep through the night! Seriously though, you won’t regret it and she is the perfect age!
Hey Ali! I’ve been following your baby story since you had Molly, and our babies were actually born on the same day, so I can really relate to all your blogs. They are Very helpful so Thankyou for that! In my opinion, I think your putting Molly down too early for the night, my little guy usually goes to bed at about 9pm and doesn’t wake up until 9:30am the next morning! We stopped feeding him during the night at about 3.5-4 months. He will occasionally cry at night for a couple of minutes and finds his soother in the crib and pops it back in his mouth and he goes back to sleep! For his last feed I usually give Lucas a mixed cereal with water(2 teaspoons) and a 7oz bottle and that keeps him full for the entire night??! Every baby is different though, but you’re doing a great job as a first time mom and just remember they grow so fast so enjoy her! I love all your posts and advice you constantly blog about, Thankyou! Xo
Hi Ali,
I have 3 kids. My youngest is 20 months and has been sleeping 8-10 hours a night since she was about 7 months old. Don’t feed Molly during the night. If she’s eating and sleeping well during the day then she’s getting plenty of nutrients to sleep through the night. My other two kids were horrible sleepers. It took until my 3rd to get the sleeping down. Remi, my youngest, loved to be swaddled when she slept. As soon as she was older and started trying to get her way out I stopped swaddling her. She still continued to sleep through the night. We used a pacifier but since Molly has found her thumb you have nothing to worry about because by that’s her way of soothing herself. I found keeping Remi up a little later at night helped a little bit too. Every child is different. It might take a few nights to know what will work for her. Just hang in there. It does get better. My youngest now sleeps 11 hours at night.
You will get so many opinions on this but i absolutely don’t think she needs to eat in the middle of the night. I have 3 kids; the youngest being almost 4 months. All babies are different but I have gotten all 3 of mine to sleep 10+ hours by 4 months. First I would say make sure she’s getting good naps and not getting overtired before bedtime. Keep with bedtime routine and I personally put them down at 7 then do a dreamfeed at 10. So go in and feed her with lights off and no talking or anything. Put her straight back down. This may take a few nights to make a difference but it works great for mine. Then you can be confident she doesn’t need to eat at 1. Keep pushing back the time you feed her until desired wake time. If she’s on solids she is fine. She doesn’t need to eat at night but I know it’s hard to listen to the crying. If you’re not right beside her then the monitor off and set your alarm for 30 min. I know it’s so exhausting!! You’re doing great and you will sleep. But being consistent is key with sleep training. You could give her a little Tylenol before bed to be confident she’s not in pain. That’s my advice!!
To answer your question, you should first think about if she is truly waking from hunger or habit? Here are two good sites that can help answer your question.
http://www.babysleepsite.com/sleep-training/baby-night-feedings-when-necessary/
http://www.weebeedreaming.com/my-blog/nightfeedings
When I realized my son was nursing just for comfort to help himself fall back asleep, I decided to cut it out. FYI: Once he was sleeping through the night, there were a handful of times that I did need to go in and nurse him, usually during growth spurts. I made that decision when after x amount of time crying, he was not calming down. I knew he was hungry because he nursed voraciously and fell back asleep easily for the rest of the night.
It sounds like from what you are describing Molly may be waking from habit.
As a medical professional and mother, sleep training is hard and all babies are unique. While sleep training my son, I tried several methods… soothing after x amount of minutes and extinction. I realized that if I went in after 10, 15 minutes I was actually disrupting his ability to self soothe, therefore making it worse. So in the end, extinction worked best for us… which is not going in. It was a hard few nights. I had my husband take the monitor and sleep in a different room so that I wouldn’t hear him crying. After 3-4 days, we were in a much better place. He is 7 months now and has been sleeping 12 hours at night for the past 2 months. Best of luck!
I have a 4 month old who still sleeps in our room and is starting to teethe. I do not judge parents who do not believe in sleep training or are still nursing in the middle of the night…
HOWEVER, for MY sanity I had to sleep train this little one. We started early, a little before 3 months. She usually sleeps from 9-7 however, the last few nights she has been waking up between 4:30-5am! yikes! The first morning, I gave her 10 min to go back to sleep but she was wide awake. So we got up and I fed her and we started our day. The next two nights however, I didn’t go to her and it’s harder since she’s in our room. I was like a character of our Jurassic Park lol Don’t move, don’t make any noise! This morning she woke up at 5:15 and I didn’t go to her and she fell back asleep at 6 until 7:15. The lesson for me? When it comes to sleep anything will become a habit if it continues on repetitively, whether that’s sleep or no sleep.
Babies need their sleep and we need to be able to let them do that. My little one’s sleep started getting better once I stopped intervening so much. As for nursing, now that she has teeth, you definitely need to stop the night nursing. My pediatrician told me that a 4-6 month old can go 10-12 hours without feeding. Plus since breastmilk has sugar in it, continuing this routine without brushing her teeth after can lead to cavities down the line. Again, this all comes from our pediatrician and I trust what she has to say. As for my little one, I think we need to transition her into her room ASAP because I also think that the noise we make during the night doesn’t really help her sleep.
If you do decide to sleep train, do it now. The older she gets the harder it will be because she is becoming more aware and smarter everyday. Good luck, being a mama is the toughest job there is!
Hi! First of all, hang in there! You are not alone! We used a halo sleep sack to transition out of the swaddle with a piece that velcros across the chest for a little compression, but heard great things about the zipadee zip! Every baby is different but what worked best at night for us was for my husband (or me but I prefer him at night) to give baby a bottle of milk to ensure she is taking in enough. We also dream fed to transition through that first sleep cycle, but stopped around 5 months. A LOT of babies still need that early morning feed between 3-4am until 9 months or so! I could never do cry it out completely, but did sort of a Ferber method where we went in at incremements. Also, I tend to send my husband in at night. Mostly because I’m a wuss but also, she will want to nurse otherwise. You’ve got a great bedtime routine! Someone just told me that being a parent is like taking a test you didn’t study for haha- so true! Trial and error. You will sleep again! I remind myself that no 18 year old needs to be nursed to sleep soooo surely it will all work out ha!
I know I’ll get a ton of backlash for this one but I’m not in to the sleep training thing, just not for us, and to each their own. But safe co-sleeping was my saving grace.
Us too!!!! The best!
Hi! I never co slept after 4 months BUT I did have a baby who woke up every 2 hours until he was 8 months. Each time he cried I would go in his room and try to soothe him without breastfeeding and it worked (SOMETIMES) but most of the time he nursed then went back to sleep. At 8 months Jase slept through the night for the first time and it was amazing! I work full time so those first 8 months were SO hard but there’s no way I would let him cry it out and not go to him when he needed me! But each to their own. You will sleep again, I promise!! Now he is 2 years old and sleeps like a champ! No crying it out needed.
Oh and the Zipadee Zip was a game changer! So awesome!!
So…… I’m going to go against practically everyone here, our first is 8 months old, and still waking through the night some (2-5 times), mostly after he figured out something like crawling or clapping, or if something is bothering him like ears or teeth.
I really feel like if he’s crying at night, he needs me….whether it’s for food or comfort (we’re breastfeeding too), and both of those needs are important (and exhausting). I’m a full time working mom and a full time masters program student, so to survive, we put Cooper in bed with us. He wakes up beside me, I half asleep turn towards him, he nurses about 3 min back to sleep, and we all sleep a few more hours and do it again. It’s the only way I’ve been able to feel rested and still meet his needs. I know lots of people will completely disagree with this, but they’re only little for such a short period of time, and it works really well for us! He’s the best, happiest baby, and super independent during the day because he knows if he needs us, we will come! Good luck!
Same here. Glad you posted this. I was in shock at at all the people encouraging her to be strict with a 6 month old baby… they are only babies and this dependent once.
What time is she napping? I have two boys, and there schedules went like this at six months – wake by 7 am, bottle and breakfast. I’m crib at 820, asleep by 830, and wake no later than 1030. Bottle at waking, lunch at 1130, in crib at 1220 for nap. Sleep 1230-230. Catnap around 330, and I didn’t let him sleep past 5! Bedtime should be moved up to no later than 630.
Her bedtime may be too late? It’s amazing what just thirty minutes can do.
Since she is still BF, I would nurse only once – anytime she wakes between 12-4 am. 7-11 pm is restorative sleep, and anytime after 4 am is their lighter sleep, so it’s much harder for them to fall back to sleep.
Generally babies follow the same circadian rhythms – they have a switch in sleep cycles 45 minutes-1 hour post bedtime, then again at the 3-4 hour mark.
At six months she is able to take Motrin/Ibuprofen – that works wonders for us with teething.
Does she take a pouch yet? If our boys are teething badly, we’d take them a cold apple sauce pouch in at night too!
I’ve heard ground ginger is a great anti-inflammatory too. To be mixed in with their purĂŠed foods.
You will sleep again!
Consistency, dark, cool room (69-72 degrees), with a sound machine is key. We use the Aden and anais sleep sacks – chenille is so soft – but I bet she’s getting too hot in the Merlin or a sleep sack with Chenille.
XO
I’m not the perfect mother, but I have two, and they both slept very well for us (thank goodness). This is what we did… and/or my suggestion to you:
If she’s super tired at the 6pm/6:30pm… let her take a snooze. Like 30 minutes. Then wake her and try feeding her (if she didn’t have anything before the 6pm snooze). Include a cereal/oatmeal type food with some milk. Do some light play and your bedtime routine… then try putting her down.
I definitely don’t think she needs to be fed multiple times in the middle of the night… once tho?? Maybe? I do feel if you are breastfeeding her in the middle of the night — do you know how much she’s getting? Or does she just like the Momma ‘touch’??? Maybe do a bottle – and have Kevin assist. (again, not sure what you are doing already).
The essential oils thing is awesome that you are using… including the oils on her feet and/or back – have you tried diffusing oils in her room?
and then as other Momma’s have said — stay consistent – for a good, hard 4 days. She’ll figure it out. But right now, I think you are right, she totally wants her Momma. đ
GOOD LUCK!!!!
I also have a six month old, and just went through alllllllll of this with her. Ali. Do the sleep training! I struggled sooooooo much, would cry every time my daughter cried, but it took TWO nights, and she went from waking/eating 2-4 times, to sleeping 8p-7a CONSISTENTLY every night. Our issue wasn’t falling asleep for the night, but waking up 1-3 hours after she had gone down for the night! The first night we did the “Ferber method” when she woke through the night, where we went in at different intervals, but found us going into the room was just working her up more. Night #2, after talking to some friends, we decided to try to let her cry, she cried somewhere between 25-30 minutes, fell asleep, and SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT. She woke a few times for just a minute or two, but would go right back to sleep. She woke up SO incredibly happy (I was sure she would hate me the next morning ?) and has been doing wonderfully ever since. Honestly, as far as transitioning out of the sleep suit, I would say just go straight for a normal, simple sleep sack (we use the halo sleep sacks) that you know you’ll be able to use/size up with for the long haul. We had been using the zipadeezip for a while (prior to sleep training) but our girl likes to roll allllll around her crib at night and kept getting twisted up in it. ? So, we decided with sleep training to just get all of the transitions done and over with, and we made the switch to the simple sleep sack the first night of sleep training. If you can get through a few rough nights, it will be so worth it. You will all feel SO much better! Put in some headphones or go take a shower while your partner keeps an eye on things if listening to her cry gets too tough. Hang in there mama, and good luck!
Hi Ali! Your daughter is beautiful. I have 2 of my own. With the first we finally did let her cry it out and as hard as it was to let her cry she cried for 10 minutes and then stopped and this lasted maybe 3 nights and then she slept through the night after that. The more you go in there to feed her the more it becomes out of habit vs. necessity. Both of my girls slept through the night around 5 months old which I know I am so lucky because us moms need our sleep too!! Try to be strong and if you know she is not hurt or in trouble, know that she will be fine if you let her cry. Another thing my doctor said is you can go in to check on her, but don’t pick her up. Pat her on the back, let her know you are there and then leave the room. Good luck!
We bought the Munchkin projector and music machine. If my son woke up crying, it kicks on and plays music and projects images on the ceiling. It works so well that he sometimes makes noise now to get the music to play and he falls back asleep, he is 20 months. But when he was around 6 months, we also let him cry it out. It’s hard and he would gradually cry longer at first, for up to an hour, before he got the hint that he was fine and to go to sleep. My husband had to stop me from going in there continuously. Just keep at it, because they are smart…you keep giving in and they will know they can get what they want.
Hi Ali!
I have a 5 month old girl and was in the same boat as you about 6 week ago when I cracked down on sleep training. I would highly recommend this book!
https://www.amazon.com/Sleep-LadyÂŽ%C2%92s-Good-Night-Tight/dp/1593155581
She has amazing tips on sleep training and goes through every stage and the in’s and out’s of their typical sleep schedules/patterns. This is my second child and I still reference it on a monthly basis! One tip I implemented was to choose one time I would go in and nurse during the night. Hailey would go to bed around 7 and then wake up around 11, 2, 5 & 7. I decided I would only feed her after 1 am and all other times she could whine/fuss and soothe herself back to sleep. I would have to remind myself of this goal every night & I told my husband so that he could help to hold me accountable to it! Her nights have gotten considerably better & I have to remind myself that most babies will wake up at night until they are at least one. I was spoiled with my first daughter who slept 12 hours straight since she was 6 weeks!
Keep up the good work and know that it will get better!
Annie
Hi Ali! I commented on your Instagram post too but if she can roll from tummy to back and you and your fiance are comfortable with it maybe consider trying to let her sleep on her tummy. It was night and day for us when we started putting our son down on his tummy. He went from a tight arms in swaddle to a Merlin to a ZipADeeZip and when we took him out of the Merlin he would roll to his side or tummy and sleep sooooooo much sounder. He was waking up 4-5 times a night before hand and when we went with the tummy sleeping it dropped to 2 times and then 1 time very shortly after. He was still waking through the night for 1 feed until we transitioned him to his crib at 6 months. I know the whole tummy sleep thing is all “OMG CLUTCH MY PEARLS HELL NO” these days but our moms were told to put us down on our belly when we were babes so that gave me a little comfort while I was trying to get used to him really preferring to be on his belly and sleeping so much sounder and longer that way
Oh my goodness I completely understand you! My daughter just turned 9 months old and she had her first ear infection about 3 weeks ago. Prior to the sickness she would have bouts of sleeping for 5-11 hrs a night waking about 1-2 times. Than the sickness so we held her and rocked her and that became her new normal again. After she was well she was waking every hour, every 2, 3, etc. we were getting no sleep and she was screaming every time she woke which wasnt like her. Anyway I found preciouslittlesleep.com and I couldnt have found it at a better time b/c we were about to lose iur minds. Running on 3-4 hours sleep is not fun! ? We started sleep training all over and the first night she only woke once!! She only cried for about 10 minutes, it was a miracle! I know its hard to not go to them when theyve been crying but stay strong. Slowly theyll get used to their new normal. My daughter is still only waking once or not at all and I feel like a normal human again. This site gave me the best advice and it worked so I hope it helps you, Kevin and Miss Molly finally sleep ???
https://www.preciouslittlesleep.com/6-9-month-baby-sleep-guide/
Hi Ali! My daughter is almost 6 months old and has been an amazing sleeper since day one, I am no expert, I just think we got lucky! We have never done a sleep suit, just straight to footed pj’s, either cotton or fleece depending on the temperature. We also give her a little nap at night then feed and play before a later actual bedtime. I always rock her completely to sleep then lay her down, this has worked amazing for us. We use a humidifier at night as well. She is still in our room in pack and play because her room is on another floor and we aren’t ready to move her yet. American Association of Pediatrics recently said 6 months min in room and they would like up to a year, so we’re fine with it for now. She sometimes rocks and wakes herself up but I just pat her or talk her back to sleep. When she does wake to eat my husband and I take turns with the bottle, sometimes pumped milk, sometimes formula and that helps us take turns who she sees and who gets sleep.
From an attachment parent (and from what it looks like you are too – baby led weaning, breastfeeding, baby wearing) but we also co-slept until he was 9 months old – and I’m telling you now, if you can – sleep train her now. We didn’t sleep train our now 18 month old and he is a nightmare at night. Best kid in the world and naps just fine, but at night he is a monster. I don’t nurse anymore (weaned at 16 months) but he just wants to sleep next to someone. Do it now! xo, a very, very tired mom of a 1.5 year old đ
Decide what you can do consistently and then stick to it! It’s what’s most fair to all of you! We went cold turkey and didn’t got back in before 7am and it took 3 nights for our then 5 month old to start sleeping through the night.
The first night we did it I also explained to him exactly what we were doing and why đ
is she very active?(maybe has fast metabolism) Or silent reflux? (where smaller more frequent meals are better)
She might have tummy ache if eating solids too close to bedtime too.
If Molly goes to sleep alone, and self soothes herself alone….then when she cries for you, she just might need you. Even if it’s just a tummy ache, or bad dream, or she startled, or hunger…or just misses you. It’s not a bad thing to comfort our babies – and they ALL sleep eventually. I think sleeping through night is a developmental milestone.
Try to not rush in (give her a chance to resettle), and then try just picking her up and talking softly to her. This works for mine. Just say you are in next room, you can hear her, you will always come, to go back to sleep….then make sure you are out of her room before she falls asleep again – or she’ll wake up crying because you are missing. If she cries when you leave – just go back in and out (repeat every minute or two).
She WILL sleep! I think it’s just western expectations and pressure we put on ourselves!
Oh last thing: weaning night feeds – time each one. Then chose one to drop and decrease by 30 seconds every other night. This is gentle for baby & your boobs!
Hi Ali, first thing i have to say is that im not an expert or something like that. But im a mother of three kids and my third kid is a baby of four (soon to be five) months old. I remember when i had my first child my god everything i wanted is to be perfect same as meny of us. Putting baby to sleep at 7pm and so on… Same kind of it was with my second one. Sometimes it worked some times not at all. But now with my third one im more relax and not paying attention to all those things. What time we should put are babys to sleep, what time to eat, how much to eat and so on and on. And guess what it works better then ever. Lol. So my point and advice to you is just go with the flow. Relax and enjoy with your baby. So dont put her too early to go to sleep thats why she keeps waking up even though she is not hungry. Yes you should get up and see why is she crying. And remember babys can feel how we feel. For example my baby is with me sleeping in her playpen during all day later when its time for all of us to go and sleep i take her in our bedroom and i put her in her cribe. If she fall asleep at 7pm or 8pm. I let her. Once she is up and i need to go to sleep i carrie her for a bit make sure she needs to eat and i put her to sleep. And she would wake up only once and that would be at 4:30am or5am. Then i would feed her and with no problem she goes back again to sleep. I feel no stress at all with her sleeping issue. My point is just relax and do what works for you and what is easy for YOU. Believe me you are going to enjoy more with Molly and you gonna feel less tired. My daughter takes a couple of naps during the day time. Some of them are shorter then others but so WHAT!? They are little babys and they do what works for them. Dont feel stressful which you shouldn’t feel. Good luck. Also i hope that my own experience and my own example will help you as shared with you.
I recommend switching to sleep sack and try having her sleep on her belly. My daughter is a few weeks younger and once we did that (doctor approved) she slept through the night. Now we get 12-13 hours a night. I also would recommend not waking her in the morning. I used to do that but it didn’t help. Hope this helps and good luck.
Ali,
Sleep train ASAP!! Because if you don’t she’ll be hitting 9mo regression between 8 and 10mo it’s going to be HELL if she’s not sleep trained by then.
We hired a professional and did sleep training with her when my son was 4.5mo best money we’ve ever spent!!!
You supposed to dreamfeed her at 10pm and 2am at this age. Everything in between if she wakes up, your hubby should be soothing her (as he doesn’t smell like milk) She NEEDS to learn to self soothe and put herself back to sleep. I know it’s hard, but it’s a LIFE SKILL you denying her by going in and feeding her. And making sleep associations that you’ll pay for for a loooong time in sleep deprivation for both of you.
Also, consistency is key for kids. You have to be strong and consistent for her to learn. Typically, it takes 3-7 nights of consistent sleepy training for babies to either start sleeping through the night or sleep well.
Good luck, mama!!
Been there! Lol. I have a 7 year old & a 2year old. Know what you mean. In my opinion, your babe doesn’t need to be fed in the middle of the night. They are so smart & she knows it’ll get her close to mom. I let my kids cry & they always grow tired of it & fall asleep. Always worked great for me. If it got hard to listen to or if I wanted to check & make sure they were ok, I would go into their room & check them out, tell them it’s ok, time for night-night & leave. Rip it off like a band-aid. My son used that Merlin suit too. It was amazing until we couldn’t use it any longer. It did take a week or so of crying at night & waking but he got used to not having it. I didn’t use a sack, I just put long pants, long sleeve & socks on him but I think a sack is worth a try. Good luck.
You are doing great even if you feel like you are stumbling at times. I have a 3.5 month old that I had to start sleep training for naps. It was starting to affect his night sleeps where he wasn’t napping during the days on his own. Key is to be consistent! It is VERY hard to hear our babies cry, but sometimes you have to do what is best for YOUR family and for Molly. Best of luck!
My husband and I are were in the EXACT same boat with our 5 1/2 month old last month! We were up against the dreaded 5 month sleep regression, a cold, pacifier, night feedings, pacifier and the Magic Merlin. For our family, sleep is such a big priority as we are all early birds and we decided we’ve had enough of the 5X + a night wakings. (Ari has slept in his own crib w/ Angel Care/video monitor since 2 months.) I read tons of reviews on Amazon and listened to about a bazillion other Momma options and felt like the three bears… Ferber, to hard for me, Dr. Searsesque meant baby cried in my arms instead of crib. So we settled on the “Sleepeasy Solution book” and it was just right!
Although, the first 5 days were the hardest thing I’ve probably ever done, after that I noticed our little guy was not only self-soothing at night and barely waking but also had a easier time self-entertaining during the day. The key is consistency, consistently, consistency. Don’t break and I promise babes will be sleeping through the night in a few days. We’re now gone almost a solid month with 7:30-5:30/6 sleeps (+ 3 naps) and we’re all a happier family because of it.
P.S: Mommas be passionate over this subject…good sleep is so important for a healthy lifestyle!
At 4 months, I sleep trained my son. I did the gradual thing, where I went in after 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes. It was the worst the first couple of nights but got progressively better and after one week, he was sleeping through the night (11-12 hours). It was the BEST thing I ever did for him or for me. I became a better mom and he was more well-rested and in a better mood throughout the day. We had him swaddled until then, and when I sleep trained him I gave him a lovey by Little Giraffe. He never sucked his thumb or took a pacifier, so this was his soothing mechanism.
I feel your pain! Sophie was a great sleeper until 4 months then she would wake up twice a night. We swaddled her religiously until about 3-4 months when she was learning how to roll. We used and loved the zipadee zip for about 2 months to transition her and then now she sleeps in a Halo sleep sack with her arms out. At 6 months I started researching sleep training and I followed Emily Henderson’s blog post about sleep training. https://stylebyemilyhenderson.com/blog/got-baby-sleep-night. I also introduced a “lovey” for her to sleep with when I transitioned her out of the zippy since I felt she needed to cling to something. I always check her monitor to see where her lovey is when I go to bed. And I read at 6 months, they are able to remove the blanket part if it ends up on their head. We use this lovey. https://www.bunniesbythebay.com/shop/it-s-a-girl-gifts/girl-security-friends/blossom-s-buddy-blanket. I followed Emily’s blog post other than I let Sophie cry for 15 minutes before I would go in, rub her back, say a few words, and then step out. The longest she cried one night was 1 hour total and I went in every 15 minutes during that hour. It did take about 4 nights but each night she woke up less. On the fifth night she slept from 7p-7a and continues to sleep 12 hours a night at 7.5 months. Now it is really easy to tell if she is still hungry or teething since she only wakes up if something is wrong. You are doing great with Molly! Go with your gut and what works for you guys! Good luck!
Hi Ali,
I recently sleep trained my 8 month daughter (this is the second time). It’s much harder thebolder they get, their cries get stronger and they become more stubborn! Also they put up a better fight before giving in and going to sleep haha.. so this second time around was harder on my Mama heart. Good news, it took one day/night of sticking to the plan completely and the next night she slept 13 hours without waking. It’s been 2 weeks now and still going strong, with the odd wake up where she puts herself back to sleep within 5 minutes. We found the daytime schedule very important in making the nighttime successful. We also had been up 3-4 times per night, never having slept through the night, when we started. (The first round of sleep training was to get her falling asleep on her own and not needing to be nursed to sleep at 3.5 months). I would be more than happy to share our day/night schedule with you for comparison – waketimes vary based on age so where as we are down to two naps you may just have an extra catnap in there. But whatever plan you decide to go with, commit to sticking to it. The smile on her face after her first full nights sleep will be worth it – and you as a mom will have so much more to give during the day, with some much needed shut eye.
Materials required for Sleep Training:
– A plan â
– Wine â
– Supportive Spouse â
– Cute Baby, who will be even cuter with more sleep â
LOL I totally agree with that checklist 100%!!
Hey Ali! I also have a 6 month old daughter that was sleeping 13 hours a night from month 3 to 5 1/2. She recently had a regression where she’ll get up sometimes 2 times a night, but the number one thing I make sure not to do is feed her. I don’t even pick her up when she gets up. If after 20 mins she hadn’t fallen back asleep, I’ll go in very quickly and put the pacifier in or rub her belly for a minute just so she knows I’m there, then leave. I never talk to her bc I don’t want to stimulate her. This has seemed to work well, but of course is hard! I’d love to pick her up, but I know that will just make her want that every time- these babies are smarter than we think! And I believe routine and consistency are key. My husband has to give me pep talks to let her cry! Hang in there!
My daughter is 7.5 months. We were in the same situation. Whine/cry 2-4 times a night and we would go in and put the paci back or pick her up or feed her or WHATEVER it took for her to go back to sleep. Then around 5am she would wake up and we would put her in bed with us.
I wanted to do cry it out/sleep training but I was a wimp. Well about 8 nights ago I went to bed and accidentally didn’t turn the volume on the monitor. I woke up at 6:45 the next morning and she was still asleep. I KNOW she cried some during the night even though obviously I didn’t hear her b/c the volume wasn’t on the monitor. But she was asleep at 6:45 and alive and was well rested and happy when she woke up. And she still loved me even though I felt like the WORST MOM IN THE WORLD.
Fast forward to today….she has slept through the night (7:30pm-at least 6:30am) EVERY SINGLE NIGHT SINCE THEN. And I’ve found she sleeps regardless of how much of her last bottle she takes. Sometimes she takes the full 5 oz and a couple nights she has only taken 1 oz. She sleeps regardless. The first couple of nights I heard her kind of talking to herself once or twice but she hasn’t even done that since then.
So….I know crying it out is hard but I really think it worked for us and she is sleeping 11 hours or so a night.
It’s not for everyone but that has been our experience.
I never did sleep training. I felt it was cruel and I wanted to be there for my baby. Co-sleeping with my baby was perfect for our family. We both got lots of sleep and it was easy for her to breastfeed at night if she needed to. She felt safe, loved and happy… which made me confident that it was the best option for us. Now at age 9 & 11 both of my daughters sleep thru the night in their own!!! They started doing so around age 2 1/2. They are both happy, healthy and well rested. The time goes by too quickly. Enjoy Molly while she is still little. The baby phase doesn’t last forever. The days are long but the years are short. Motherhood is hard, hang in there.
My suggestion would be to skip any alternative transition to just pajamas. If you are already waking up several times a night just work to get as much “transitioned” as possible during this time. As soon as we started sleep training our six month old, we stopped the Merlin’s Magic Suit and stopped pacifiers. We knew the process was going to be rough no matter what, so we tried to make it rough all at once instead of spacing out. Just a thought…Molly is adorable. Good Luck!
My daughter is the same age as Molly, and we had the same thing going on but are slowly getting better. We got a dock-a-tot and that actually helps her feel more secure in her crib. We realized she would lift her feet and pound them back down in her sleep, which would wake her up. (She was also in a magic sleep suit at the time)… I recommend getting rid of night feedings ASAP. One night I just decided I would soothe her, but NOT feed her until it was time at 6am. After that first couple nights, she stopped expecting to be nursed. She still will wake up and want to be held, and my husband also helps during the night (his shift is 10pm-2am and my shift is from 2am-6am) Most of the time if she wakes, it is because she wants her paci back in her mouth, so just getting up to put it back in puts her immediately back to sleep. For the times she is staring up at me wide awake, we will rock/snuggle her back to sleep until she is sleeping and RELAXED because if she isn’t deep asleep, the transition back to her crib wakes her up and we have to start all over again. đ Ever since we started breaking the night up in shifts between my husband and I, we have both gotten much better sleep because of it. Before that, we took turns every other time she woke up, so both of us always felt on alert. It is amazing how much more patience you have in the middle of the night when you know you are only responsible for half of the night. đ
“Solve your child’s sleep problems” by Richard Ferber changed my life! It help gave me a clear plan. If I didn’t stay consistent it wouldn’t work, so a clear plan helped me. I also adapted his plan to less time between checks when my babies were crying , and I didn’t night wean til a year. But the training was rough for a few nights, got better, and then worked!!
Mollie is totally normal đ and she is so tiny it’s ok she wants her mama so much! Also ok that mama needs more sleep and wants help her get there !
Ali- it’s so hard to know right?? I’m a mum of 3 and my bub is 5months old. She is our last and has definantly been our trickiest sleeper! But I’m going to offer you another perspective- I am trying to ‘sleep train’ but not so strictly. My girls routine is pretty similar to mollys- bed at 7.30, resettled once, feed around 10.30, usually resettle again, feed 4.30ish. These of course are general but that seems to be the usual way. However this is a vast improvement on the very 2 hour or so feeding/settling we have been doing the last month or two! When I say settling in let her whinge for a while until she gets really cranking the I go in and shush her and pat her back. Usually this only takes a minute or so to work. Because they don’t need feeding. My hope is that I will be able to cut them all down and not have to resettle. The thing is- sleep training is hard and if it takes awhile it is emotionally draining for you being unsure if you’re doing the right thing that’s why I’ve taken a different approach this time. My other two are fab sleepers-never have any issue so I know it’ll be alright in the end? and I also know how quick this time will be over….although I appreciate that it’s hard to remember that when u haven’t slept more then 4stright hours?. Also like molly and teething there always seemso to be one thing after another upsetting the sleep- teeth, immunization, growth spurt. I just found I was always sleep training anyway.
But my most firm rule of thumb is you have to do what you are comfortable with- babies are all different and theready isn’t a golden rule. If Molly is happy and healthy- which I’m sure she is? you are doing a fabulous job Mamma (and daddy)!!! I know it’s haRd to see but it’s over in the blink of an eye? my son is 5 and I feel like it was yesterday I was unsure of every move I made with him!! Good luck and best sleep wishes to you!
I did not breast feed at all so I cannot relate to a breast fed baby feeding schedule. My first baby had a stomach issue when he was born and threw up almost immediately after eating and cried and cried. He had to have surgery at 1 month old and after they fixed the problem he slept all night long. My second son also slept all night long as a newborn. I’m so thankful as I’m so grumpy with no sleep! LOL I can say that back then they would start formula babies on cereal at a pretty early age that helps keep them full longer. Have you thought about maybe adding cereal around dinner time to her diet? Also, I noticed you put her to bed pretty early at night. Maybe try putting her to bed a few hours later? If you feed her around 9:30 maybe don’t put her down for the night until after that feeding? You could give that a try and see if she sleeps better through the night. She may just be waking up because she has had enough sleep being that she goes to bed early. Just an idea. Mine never went to sleep that early and after I fed them around probably 10 or 11 they slept through the night.
Hi Ali! I love your blog and have never commented but I just so relate to your struggles and the sleep battle. I HATE to see my babies (4 & 1) cry or struggle but I have to say sleep training is what worked best for both kiddos (very different temperaments). My pediatrician assured me that by 4-6 mo if they are healthy weight they are eating plenty during the day. Both kids picked it up very quickly but it required consistency on my part. I would try and let her stay in there from 7P – 7A without feeding. (Or if she’s super tired go for the 6:30PM but know she may be up at 6:30AM). The first time she wakes up/first night will be the longest and hardest but it is sooooo worth it. And I wouldn’t go in unless she truly is hysterical in which case wait at least 15 min and pat back and shhh (don’t pick up). It shouldn’t take more than a few days. I know friends who have even spent the night away the first night. And maybe turn the sound off on the monitor but not the screen (if you can still hear her from your room). This helped a ton because I didn’t hear every peep but obviously knew when they were crying. And I would transition to sleep sack. I promise you she will be ok. Putting yourself to sleep is a learned trait so you are just teaching her a new life skill. Ear plugs and wine!! ? You are an incredible mom and it’s so fun to watch your journey with your sweet family!
This has probably already been said and I will admit I didn’t read through all the comments bc there are so many. My son is 6 months old as well and about a month ago he was sleeping horribly. I broke down and decided to do cry it out. I started checking on him in 5 min intervals and discovered that only made him more upset. So then I just stopped going in. He cried for a long time that first night and I sat in my room with headphones on really loud. But after that night he only cried for 15 mins the second night and then never cried again. He did wake up once in the middle of the night for the first week and I was feeding him but after that first week, I dropped the feeding and just let him cry himself back to sleep in the middle of the night. It was sooooo soooo hard but now he sleeps from 730-630 every night. I promise it’s worth it.
Hi Ali,
I sleep trained my 6 month old just three weeks ago and we are doing soooo good – and she’s a strong willed baby!! To answer your question, yes you can still do strict sleep training and incorporate night feedings. My little girl is a tiny one, so I wasn’t prepared to drop the night nursing but desperately had to do something about our horrible sleeping situation. I worked with a sleep consultant and she said by 6 months they should be able to sleep 6-7 hours (or longer…) for the first stretch of nighttime sleep and then approximately 3.5-4.5 hours for each stretch after that. Therefore, if you last nurse Molly at 6pm then you will not respond to any night wakings (or use whichever sleep training method of your choosing until that time) until 12pm. If she wakes up at 12:30am for example you should respond straight away and nurse her and put her back in her crib immediately when she is done. If she falls asleep during that’s fine, but if you can avoid it that would be better (my baby is usually very drowsy but never fully asleep). If there are night wakings before the next feeding cutoff then you don’t respond until that time has passed. I know it sounds like it will be confusing to them but it really has worked for us and several of my closest girlfriends have followed the same technique with success as well (I was just helping one over the phone today!). If you want just one feeding then I would do it at the first cut off of 6-7 hours passed the bedtime nursing session and then she is done for the rest of the night.
As for your bedtime routine, I was told that nursing needs to be at the beginning of the bedtime routine so that it is disassociated with going to sleep. I know that sounds counterintuitive to the middle of the night feeds, but trust me it works.
Let me know if you have any questions. I’ve been there, with 2 kids now. Sleep is so important! Good luck!
Hi. My daughter is 10 months old and didn’t sleep from 6 to 8 months old. I did the sleep training method my pediatrician recommended. I read “The sleep lady’s good night, sleep tight: gentle proven solutions to help your child sleep well and wake up happy.” After reading this book, our daughter was back to sleeping 10-12 hours per night.
We would give her infant Tylenol before bedtime for teething if needed and also started using a white noise machine and Halo wearable blanket.
Hope this helps!
Ok LETS DO THIS! My baby is a few days younger than yours. She went from ooook sleep (up a few times) to UP EVERY 2. Yikes. Im so so so ready for that to stop. My doctor suggested an earlier bed time. Im going to try 630. I swaddle her, I see your commenters suggest a zip-ee-doo thing. I will be googling that next ;). My little one cried off and on for 1.5 hours and then I cried, fed her and threw in the CIO towel. I will try again TONIGHT. Im not sure though how long I will let her cry before giving her a bit of a pat? When I go in to her she gets mad. She knows I have the goods. I am going to give her some tough love. Her room is near mine (well pretty much in my room). Is Molly near you? Will you just lay there when she cries? Try to sleep? Ear plugs? What do you think?
Ali, we are in similar boats! My 6 month old boy rarely sleeps through the night. He is very inconsistent when he wakes up too. I always wait at least 10-15 minutes to let him self-soothe… and sometimes he does! Every time I put him on his play mat recently, he flips over to tummy time and starts trying to crawl. Sometimes in his Merlin Suit he would wake up and look like he was trying to get on his tummy. So I tried to transition him out of the Merlin, but it made his sleep worse! I’m actually planning on ordering the bigger size Merlin – I think 6-9 months. I’m going to keep him in that thing as long as possible! I feel like it just comforts him more than having free arms. It’s kind of like how I have to sleep with a heavy blanket or comforter. If I only have a sheet on, I feel exposed and uncomfortable! That’s my theory at least. Are you feeding her anything during the day besides breast milk? I started doing half a jar of baby food in the evening along with nursing and it seems to help him stay fuller longer while he is sleeping. Good luck with Molly! đ
I think there is WAY too much pressure on us moms today to get our babies to sleep through the night. The hard truth is that sleeping through the night is the exception, not the rule. There is so much going on at 6 months between teething, developmental milestones, growth spurts, etc so don’t beat yourself up! I personally couldn’t stomach the cry it out method. I think if our instincts are telling us something (to go to comfort our child who is crying), it’s probably for a reason. Yes, it’s your job to help her become independent, but it’s also your job to let her know you are there for her and give her the confidence that comes along with that. Did it take a little longer her for my daughter to sleep through the night? Probably, but she eventually got better and better and now she consistently sleeps 11-12 hours straight. Being a mom is hard and every kid is different in what they need – you just have to find what works for you!
I completely agree with you! So many other cultures around the world don’t keep their babies in different rooms, which is what the norm is here. With my first, I was SO concerned about sleep, and how to get her to sleep better, but she slept through the night when she was ready. That was at 18 months, and while I was tired, I look back at all the sleepness nights with a smile. My 2nd daughter is now 16 months, and only just started sleeping through the night last month. She nursed during the night, but not because she was hungry; she just wanted her mommy. Do what you feel is right, but you’ll never regret snuggling your baby đ
My little guy is almost 8 months and we sleep trained early. We do follow babywise (I know you mentioned it before) and I credit that and sticking to it. I think you need to be consistent, whether she is teething or not. You can always adjust things if they are sick, teething, etc. But stick to the main focus and schedule. Some things we did that worked well: Cluster feed at night. So if she normally eats at 3:30 and 6:30. Maybe adjust your feeding schedule so she eats at 2:30, 4:30, 6:30. Also, if you are pumping, you could pump and bottle feed before bed. Then you know she is getting a full feed and fully belly. To figure out if we could stop night time feeds, when my little guy would cry, I’d go in, give him a bink and give him a couple mins. If he didn’t calm down and go back to sleep, I knew he needed to eat (he was about 12wo when I stopped feeding MOTN). One day he just took the bink and went back to sleep, so I knew he didn’t need to eat. A good night time routine is also key. I’ve heard some sleep consultants say to feed first, then do the bath, books, etc. This really enforces to not associate sleep with the bottle. And then it sounds like you have a good wake time schedule. Getting her up at the same time every day (within a 30 min window) and feeding in a bright room (daylight or lights) and talk to her so she knows it is the start of the day. At 6mo, she probably doesn’t need to be fed at all at night. It’s just a matter of getting her to be able to put herself back to sleep. You can do it!! Just stick to it, be consistent, and hopefully soon, you’ll get more sleep đ
Oh and we didn’t use the Merlin suit. We just went right from swaddle to sleep sack. If Molly is better at naps, you could try with naps so she gets used to it during a time she is more driven to sleep. We use the woolino sleep sack and love it! But my guy LOVES his little giraffe blankeys. Needs one every night. That may be a sleep prop but I’m ok with it. He only has it in his crib, but he sure loves it!
Hey Ali,
My 2nd baby was waking up every half hour sometimes every hour at one point, he was almost 5months, his teeth too and bottom 4 teeth had come out and I was a walking zombie during the day because I had a 3 year old so I could nap during the day. I don’t even remember what I did in those days when I think back lol and then one night I was so done and I went cold turkey on him and let him cry his sweet little heart out for almost 50min and he fell asleep until the morning. I slept 4 glorious hours in a row. It was amazing. Next night I didn’t wake up at all to him I would just sort of keep and eye on time to see how long he cried for and he cried less and less with each time he woke up. 3rd night he woke up once and then after that he hasn’t woke up and sleeps 8-8 every night, his 10months. Hang in there mama. You really have to make yourself think that it’s for the best for baby and you and let her cry it out few nights. You will be so grateful you did.
Hi! I know you have SO many comments already but here’s my two cents:
1. Definitely do not go in her room between 7-7
2. Take her out of Merlin and put her in the halo sleep sack or similar and sleep train her this way (2 birds 1 stone!)
3. When she does wake up and cry I would force myself to watch a tv show to help distract me. Laying there in silence listening to your baby cry is like Chinese water torture!
4. Our daughter cried for three nights, by night 7 she was sleeping like a champ! It will happen just be consistent.
5. If she sleeps with a lovie or wubanub, you and Kevin should sleep with it a few nights then she will smell your scent and feel more at ease.
Hope this helps! You will get through this!
Hey Ali,
In 2 weeks my lil girl will be 6 months old,(can’t believe where the time went), but 1st what I’ve always been told since we brought her home was “never wake a sleeping baby “, from my mom, my aunt, heck anyone I talked too and let me tell you it was hard to swallow since I exclusively breastfeed, but it worked out and till his day, I never wake her, sometimes she goes 5 hrs between feedings! She does sleep during the night, roughly 930pm-4or5 am and honestly got herself on her on schedule. She is on solids and her last feeding of solids for the day about dinner time i put cereal in. Now there are occasional nights she gets up once but it’s more so for a drink not to eat so I’ll give some water. That’s just my story as all babies r different. To answer ur ? And my personal opinion keep her up till she’s sleepy and then put her in her room. I’ll be curious to hear your thoughts! Love reading ur blog
Meant to also say we don’t use a sleep sack at all, never did , always just a Onesie or a footy onesie now in the winter… she does sleep with a white noise machine too
it’s totally doable at 6 months! trust me! i had the worst baby and thought she didn’t have the temperament to be sleep trained but we were proven wrong one desperate night when we gave in (after getting her multiple times in the night – almost every hour at 6 months!) and just let her cry it out. she cried for about 10 minutes and slept through until the next morning. granted, it was late in the night when we let her cry it out and she was already exhausted, so i guess she was just so tired she slept through. the next day, we started sleep training her for naps and bedtime. i took away the swaddle, pacificer, stopped night feedings, all sleep props. not gonna lie, it was tough, she cried during her entire nap time and a little over an hour at bedtime. her naps were difficult to conquer, but her night sleep changed quickly. the trick is to be consistent, don’t go in there until the time is up (for naps), and both parents need to be on board.
oh, and she started rolling in her sleep. my god the agony!!! the first time she rolled in her sleep was i think around 3am. man did she cry, but we didn’t go in. the book i read said to let them be if they first roll in their sleep. they need to learn how to roll back. oh and the teething thing. honestly, babies go through sooo many milestones within the first year. if you keep postponing sleep training cuz of teething, rolling, whatever, you’ll never end up doing it.
i read the book by weisbluth, healthy sleep habits, healthy baby…something like that.
give it a week max, and you will see the results. i thought it was magic. also, with my daughter, we put her to bed at 6:30 and we still do! shes 2 years old now. we do not get her out until 7am no matter what. your baby will learn one of the most important skills which is to sleep unassisted. and she will learn to love her crib without mama and play in her crib if she wakes up early before mama is ready to take her out.
be strong, you are doing a great job mama. you will see that it is like magic when they learn to sleep properly.
Put her to sleep at 7 and then go in at 11 and feed her (keeping lights off and noise machine on) and then don’t go back in until morning. ?
I have a Molly too! And this story sounds so familiar đ
Sleep training sucks but I feel like it’s a necessary evil. I had to do it with both of my kids and did find it harder in the middle of night than bedtime (I had to do both)….but I do believe sadly the key is to hold strong. If you need to go in, try not to pick her up, rub her back, tell her Mommy loves her, stay for a minute or two and leave. This may make it easier for you but still make the point for her. And I don’t know if this is an option, but you could also Try sending daddy in.
Hang in there – my Molly is almost 4 now and we actually DO sleep. I didn’t sleep train her until 10 months and my biggest regret was waiting so long
I followed the ferber method almost exactly and it worked great. I liked having a plan and a schedule of knowing what to follow when i couldn’t bear to hear him cry. It was comforting (to him and I!) knowing I could go in in increments and not just let him cry. He was an amazing sleeper but now he’s 15 months, smarter, and up once a night and we just bring him into bed and he goes back to sleep – but not ideal! The good thing is, nothing lasts – bad sleeping habits, and good ones!
I’m sure I’m being repetitive here cuz I honestly didn’t read everyone else’s comments because there’s sooo many haha but I did read your whole post and it sounds like my life a month and a half ago. We sleep trained our son around 6.5 months. It took me A LOT of convincing
because I hate hearing him cry. So many people told me it worked and I knew my son and I were both not getting enough sleep but i kept making excuses for why I would do it later. Finally when we were driving home from Mammoth and my son woke up in the car and cried the last 45 mins of our drive and it basically hit me that if I can “make him cry” by having to be in the car just because I wanted to go to Mammoth, I can listen to him cry for that long to actually teach him something beneficial. He slept great for a couple months early on for like 8 hours then would eat then would go back to bed and then around 4 months he started waking more and more and more and I finally realized he was barely even eating at those times but he wanted me to soothe him to sleep whether I held him, rocked him, fed mainly, etc. It only took ONE night of sleep training and I was shocked. He cried for 45 mins when I first put him down and then woke up at midnight for an hour and 10 mins and since that night he’s never fussed for more than a couple minutes. We basically followed the Ferber method for how often we would comfort him, you can just google it. It has been amazing. But I’m also glad we didn’t wait too long because now he’s 8 months and crawling and pulling himself up, etc in his crib so I will lay him down and he plays around for 10 mins then just goes to sleep but I think if he could get all around in there like he does now, he would have been way harder to sleep train. It sucks but it’s the BEST thing we have done. Just keep comforting her now and again without picking her up and she will learn. Good luck with whatever you end up doing!!
Moms on Call was the best sleep training book. A combo of letting them cry it out but not all night. You let them cry for a certain amount of time 5-15 minutes depending on where you are in the training. Then you go in and shush and soothe and put back down. She either falls asleep or cries for another 15 minutes and you repeat. It’s a rough few nights but she’ll get the hang of it. The main thing is you are soothing her, but not reinforcing the crying by feeding her, until it’s time for her morning feed. Check out the book though, it explains it much better.
I have a 2 year old and a almost 7month old. Both have been sleeping 11-12 hours (8 pm -7/8 am) since they were both 10 weeks old. I read the book ’12 hours by 12 weeks’ . It was my bible . It helps and guides you through sleep training. It talks about letting them cry, and i agree it is so hard , I would pray until it stopped, however every night got better, and after 5 nights they never cried again at night. Even during teething . I also believe in a strict nap schedule , both my girls nap 1-4 everyday. All my friends told me a baby that naps good sleeps good at night . I think having Molly cry only is hurting you listening to her, not her, she won’t even remember .
Hang in there , it will all work out .
Small babies need their mother. They need comfort and love! There are periods when they need more, often when they are around 6 months.
I do not understand why people do sleep training. Research had found this to be undermining their instincts and causing the babies’ hearts stress!! It is not recommended anymore i Norway.
The babies do not understand what is happening, and their only voice is crying. Would you be the one that was ignored? When all you need is someone to hold you? Why do you think they stop crying? Because they give up! My heart aches.
And you are even suggesting to not go to her from 7pm to 7am?!
She is this small only once. Small kids can never be spoiled by love!! They will grow into happy and confident kids if you give them this feeling of safety both day and night.
Buy a bedside crib! My babies have slept all night.
We transitioned our previously sleep trained daughter (we did it at about 3 months) out of her merlin suit and it was rough. She went from sleeping through the night to waking up several times and needing to cry it out to go back to sleep. It took about 5 nights, but she adjusted to sleeping in a sleeping sack and immediately became a tummy sleeper. In hindsight, I would have cut the arms off of her merlin suit and given her a few nights to adjust to the arm freedom, then transitioned her to her thick sleeping sack. I chose a think one to mimic the feel of the merlin. She also sleeps in pitch black with white noise.
With respect to the feeds, a sleep psychologist told us to put her down for the night and leave her for a minimum of 11 hours (so long as they are a healthy weight). Anything after 11 hours is fair game for wake ups đ
You may want to bite the bullet and do sleep training and the sleeping sack transition all at once. It’s going to suck for a few nights. But the long term gain completely outweighs the horrid couple nights (where I cried as much if not more than she did). But trust me when I say this, it’s WAY easier to hear them cry now than when they’re older. The longer you wait, the more aware she is. She’ll learn quite quickly that the harder and louder she cries, Mom will come running. They’re so smart. The younger you teach them this habit, the easier it will be on everyone I promise.
We were consistent through teething, sickness etc. (of course with the occasional help of advil or motrin).
Good luck! Hope the ramblings offered a different perspective đ
You need to be a strong mama! Listening to your baby cry is the absolute hardest thing to do. However, half of the work is already done… you know she’s not hungry! Personally, I need sleep. My husband actually has a name for my alter ego that comes out in the middle of the night. Like you, I didn’t want to hear either of my sons cry. With my first son, my husband stuck me in the bathroom with the exhaust fan on as I wept. The first night sleep training with both of my sons was a solid two hours of crying. Many people would say that is horrific to leave a child crying for that long! I was one of those people! However, after the first night it went down to just an hour. By the third night we were down to half an hour. By the fourth night, both of my sons were sleeping from 8 PM to 7:30 AM. It would be easy for me to say just do it, but I know how hard it is. If you truly want your sleep, I believe that the cry it out method is the only way to go about it at this point! Good luck!
I am a mom to a now 7 month old but we just transitioned out of the sleep suit about a month ago. I tried a sleep sack thinking she needed something else but in fact it made it worse so one night out of frustration I just put her in a fleece sleeper and threw a light blanket over her and walked out. I watched on the monitor until she fell asleep (I know you are not suppose to have anything in the crib) and sneaked in and removed the blanket. She rolls around and if she ever wakes up she just grabs her wubanub and puts herself back to sleep. I will say sleep training is so so important one night the monitor battery died when I put her to bed and I literally had no idea I was on the other side of the house in our bedroom and I know she cried but I didn’t hear her and I fell asleep. Woke up the next morning and freaked out she was of course ok but after that night she slept sound from then on. Praying you get some sleep soon!
Hi Ali!
Let me preface everything I say by letting you know I am a certified sleep trainer.
Sounds like you are a great mom! You know that she needs to self soothe and that at this point she does need to sleep through the night, and although you do not like to hear her cry (no one does!), you know it’ll be best for her (and for you!) when she has a full night of sleep. At 6 months she does not need a middle of the night feeding (check with your pediatrician if her weight is good). Like you said, when you go in to feed her and then again but the next time she cries you’re fed up and done with it she will cry longer bc she’s confused – why did mommy come in the last 2 times but not now?! So the feeding needs to stop cold turkey. 7pm is the idea time for bedtime AND being put down tired but awake is perfect, so you’re on it!
This the technique that has always worked for me and is science based:
When she cries after being put down, give her 20 min to herself. Usually the first 20min by itself will go by and she’ll fall asleep. If she doesn’t, go in and soothe her, pat her back, shush her, anything but PICK HER UP. After 30sec leave and restart the 20min timer. If she cries again, repeat. However if you notice that during the 20min she pauses her crying (to yawn, or look around), reset the 20min then. The pause is her realizing that crying isn’t so much fun and recognizing that she is tired. Trust me, this technique only takes 3 nights and she’ll sleep through the night. If she doesn’t, take a look at her Day time napping. She could be sleeping too long during the day and confusing the day and night.
Any more questions I’d love to hear from you, advices free of charge! Btw, the white noise machine is amazing! Make sure it’s running through the night and not on a timer.
Patty
Here’s what you don’t need: Advice. Kids go through different growth spurts and sleeping patterns in their first year. You put out one fire and another one starts. First, they’re hungry, then they are teething, then they just want to see Mama. It’s impossible to know. The best thing I heard as I was still waking up 2-3 times a night with my 10 month old was this: Sometimes babies don’t sleep. That was it. Just, sometimes they just dont want to to it. And it’s ok. Forgive yourself for this thing that you CANNOT control.
But if I could say OOONNNE THING, it’d be this: if you have a monitor with a speaking function, use it to shush her back to sleep. Sometimes just hearing your voice helps. Plus, you don’t have to get out of bed.
Sleep training is so hard but it’s worth it. My three girls were all sleep trained, each one a little earlier than the last. I learned with my first, that the longer you wait, the harder it is. I waited until she was 9 months, but by then, she was able to pull herself up and cry “mama” which just made it harder for me. She also had a hard time figuring out how to lower herself back down from standing without help. Now is the time for you do sleep train if that’s what you’ve decided to try. Waiting just makes it harder on everybody. Good luck!
We sleep trained at 6 1/2 months. It really only took 3 nights and our daughter has slept 12 hours through the night ever since (she’ll be one next week). It is SO hard to hear them cry but it is in their own best interest! They need to learn to self soothe. What helped me was feeding out of a bottle instead of breastfeeding for the bedtime feeding. That way I could see exactly how much she ate so I knew when she woke in the night she was not hungry. Consistency is key. Once you start, you should not stop because babies crave routine. Molly fell back into her mommy will come when I cry routine when you stopped sleep training because of the teething.
We used a Dock-a-Tot in the crib and the Merlin suit prior to sleep training. We ditched everything at once so we would only have to do one big sleep change. Since Merlin, we’ve used footed pajamas and a Halo sleep sack.
Good luck mama! You can do it!
Try using a sleep sack for naps during the day first before using at night time sleep, that may help her feel more comfortable before staring at night time! I agree with all points above, sleep is SO hard and SO important. My daughter is 8 months old and she just went through a sleep regression where she’s up multiple times a night needing to be rocked back to sleep. And then all of a sudden when we hit our breaking point, she snapped out of it and is sleeping 12 hours straight again. Sometimes babies just DONT SLEEP this is the hardest thing for me as a mother to understand, feel OK with (like there’s not something wrong with me or her) and that I’m not a selfish person in wishing I had more sleep. The only thing that gets me through is to remind myself this stage is a sliver in time over my entire existence and that sometimes she’ll need me more than others, and to do anything I can to survive and get through it. Good luck, you’ll soon find a rhythm!
Ok Girl,
I have twins and they are almost 6 months. Both sleep 12 hrs 7-7. Here’s what works the magic Merlin sleep suit worked wonders for my girl but my boy just couldn’t do it so I made sure they were eating plenty 28oz a day of formula plus one solid feeding. Then I let him
Cry it out and I mean never going in there and it’s worked he sometimes still wakes and cries but it’s for 5 minutes at most. It was so hard though I hated hearing the crying so I turned on white noise and off went the monitor. It’s so hard but I swear it works!
My 5-6 month old finally started sleeping after I stopped nursing him in the middle of the night, and gave him a pumped bottle instead. He was falling asleep on the breast, so he kept waking up hungry because he was falling asleep before eating enough. He’d wake up a few hours after bedtime, then sleep the rest of the night after the bottle. Then we started giving him the middle-of-the-night bottle in the evening, and when we did that, he didn’t wake up anymore. We also used this soother (http://www.target.com/p/baby-einstein-sea-dreams-soother/-/A-13951116), and he learned through sleep training that he could push the starfish and play the music/lights, which would lull him back to sleep. But that didn’t happen until he was 9-10 months old.
I agree that you may just have to be more consistent. I did not breastfeed, so my advice may be totally useless, but I will give you my routine for sleeping. (My baby is 20) so it has been a long time. My husband and I worked, so my son was with his grandparents all day. We would get home around 5:30 and we would keep him awake. Bath was at 8:00 and then Dad would feed him his last bottle at 9:30-10:00. He would fall asleep in Dad’s arms and he would put him down for the night. He slept until 6:30 – 7:00 and would get his first bottle with Grandma after we dropped him off there for the day. He slept in an sleeper that was footed since we didn’t have all these sleep training items to put babies in. I was always told that you should go by Mom’s comfort level – for example, if you find the house warm then baby probably finds the house warm. If you are cold then maybe baby needs to be dressed warmer. This could be a wives tale, I don’t know, but maybe Molly needs less clothing? Pajamas seem to be enough and maybe leave these sleep sack things off completely. I think letting her soothe herself is most important. One night my son did wake up crying and I rushed to him because he NEVER woke up during the night. I picked him up and could not soothe him and he would not stop crying. My husband finally told me, just go put him down again and see what happens – I was ready to go to the emergency room! I did what my husband said and I am telling you, my son stopped crying and went to sleep. Hindsight, he probably would have soothed himself back to sleep. We laugh about that now. I sure hope you find some helpful advice from these other much younger Mom’s but sometimes us older Mom’s may remind that the old ways of doing things actually worked. Hope you can sleep soon!
It looks like you already have a ton of comments, so you may be over reading them all now & taking a nap! ?
We used the Zipadee zip for transitioning once our kids started rolling. I will say that my oldest (my daughter) didn’t start sleeping all night until she could roll onto her stomach.
You’re doing all of the right things & researching with other moms is the best thing I found with my kids!
Good luck!! It’s so tough, but remember (with everything) that it’s only a phase. You will tell yourself that a LOT over the coming years to keep your sanity. Ha!
We transitioned to the Zipadeezip. The first few nights were rough but it eventually got better. My lo is 18 months old now and we’re STILL battling wake ups. From 4-8 months, he was waking every 1-2 hours. Around his first birthday, he was waking about 4 times per night. Now there really isn’t much of a pattern. A good night is 2-3 wake ups. I’ve read countless books and articles and asked for lots of help in mom groups. But what I’ve learned is some kids sleep… and some don’t. He is the happiest baby and always has been. He rarely cries and rarely gets fussy even when he’s super tired. I think Molly’s early bedtime is great. I’m sure you’ve probably read it all, as have I, and there’s just no magic answer. When my lo gets overtired, things are MUCH worse. He’ll wake up 6+ times because he’s just too tired to sleep soundly. He’s also never slept in the car. Naps, bedtime, midnight… doesn’t matter. I think going in and feeding molly once a night is not a bad thing. Even if she isn’t hungry, she could be thirsty. Maybe set a time and when/if she’s awake between 12-2, feed her. Otherwise, I would stand by her crib or in the doorway and tell her it’s ok, mommy is here…. but let her go back to sleep on her own. I wish I had the answer but it sounds like you’re doing a great job! Good luck.
Hi momma!
I believe our littles are just about a week apart! I had my little boy Dawson June 24th. 1 also have a 3 year old little girl. With her I didn’t use any formula just BM and so far the same with him. I find that even the second time around I am looking at Pinterest, books and different websites for advice! One thing I can tell you is that as mommas we are always wondering if we are doing it right. Take a minute and give your self the amazing credit you deserve and remember they will sleep eventually. This is just a moment in time and one day you will look back and miss all of these sweet moments.. because they grow TOO fast! With both of my kids I have done the baby wise books. My daughter was a little easier ( every baby is different) my boy.. not so much. 8 finally have him sleeping about 11-12 hours and he has done that since about 6 months( my girl was 3 months they all get it eventually?) but one thing I found with him was I was putting him to bed too early. So now our typical schedule looks like 7:30ish wake up BF then about 8 or so breakfast, 9:15ish put down for a morning nap. Up around 11 BF then lunch around 12-1230 then down for another nap around 1:30ish. Sometimes he will sleep till about 4( yay for momma right;) ) wake up BF dinner around 5:30/6 ( sometimes babies still need a cat nap here maybe 30 minutes) I start bed time routine around 7 and I take him in his room to nurse at 8 then I put him down for the night. I go back in at 10:30 for a dream feed for about 15-20 minutes ( no changing) then back down for the night. He is teething pretty bad so sometimes he starts to wake up around 3 or 4 and I go in and put the paci in his mouth and he falls back asleep. These are just some ideas but everyone has to find what works for them! She is happy, healthy and loves her momma ?
Oh! And I have 2 crazy loud Labs so I keep a box fan on high in his room to drown out the noise.. that fan saved my life! We did swaddle and magic sleepsuit.. turned out he wants to sleep on his tummy! Did sleep through the night at ALL in December because he was still in the suit and wanted to flip. My doctor said as long as I put him on his back it was fine if he flipped over. Of course that freaked me out for a week and I went in constantly to check on him! Anyways!! She will sleep soon so don’t worry too much! You got this!
Hey Ali! I’ve definately been in your shoes! I have two girls who are now 7 and 10. I â¤ď¸ my sleep so when they were babies I was determined to make sure they became good sleepers! I did the same thing with both girls and from about 6 months through to today I have rarely had to get up in the night. At 6 months babies do not need to eat through the night and they are old enough to start sleep training. The trick is to let them cry and learn to self sooth. It’s hard and you have to stay strong but consistency is key. Once you decided to do it don’t give in. It only took a few nights for both girls and they are the best sleepers to this day! Good luck, you got this!
I couldn’t do CIO, it just wasn’t for us. I talked to my mom, and grandma and none of them had ever heard of it, so I figured if they didn’t need to do it, then maybe I didn’t either, and between the two of them they had 6 kids. It’s taken a lot of patience, and trial and error but we are getting a lot more sleep these days, she usually only wakes to feed once (except when she is teething :$, cutting a tooth right now) The expecting them to sleep 7 to 7 thing, I know there is a ton of controversy on this one, and to each their own, there is no ‘right way’ when parenting, just a lot of options, but that just seems like such a LONG time to expect a little one to last…. heck, I get up a few times a night to pee, or drink water… I even got up last night to get a snack!! đ So how can we expect our little babes to last for 12 whole hours? Each baby is SO different, and like a pp said, some babies just don’t sleep! I’ve started trying to look at it as quiet time where I get snuggles and enjoy it rather than looking at it as, WHAT, awake, NOT AGAIN! haha. I just drink more coffee on those days she’s up more often đ Hope you find something that works for you soon đ
Well I’m not a new mom, but a “seasoned” one (in my 40’s with 3 sons) – my youngest son (now 11) was the WORST night sleeper ever. He was up 4-5 times a night, sometimes more, until he was one (and I nursed him that whole year). What made it extra difficult was that I had two other children to wake, feed, and drive to school on time. Let’s just say The Walking Dead could have been based on that year of my life, as I was a complete Zombie. Due to my desperation for sleep, I would just put him on the boob in my bed and doze off. For your sweet girl, I’d say feed her/top her off when she wakes up till maybe midnight (or whatever time you deem suitable), and then let her self soothe back to sleep till morning. Since she goes to bed relatively early, you can be confident she’s not hungry, while still helping to teach her to rely on herself. Just my two cents – this too shall pass. You’re a great momma, hang in there!!
Hi there! My son is now 10 months old and sleeping, but I know the struggle :/
I never used a sleep sack…we went from swaddling to just some cozy footed pajamas. And we keep our thermostat at 72…but a friend of mine has a little heater for her baby’s room.
We also did sleep training and I agree it was tough at first, but it is SO worth it. I started out leaving him crying for 3 minutes, then 5, then 10 until he fell asleep. Then increased each night after (much like what you will read online). For many people it takes a week to work, but for us it took 2.
A couple of times he would get hungry, so I would feed and then put him back down immediately after.
You seem like a great mom! I’d say come up with some sort of plan, with your night time routine, and then just stick with it. It might help to turn the monitor off for that each night and listen to music…something so the crying isn’t making you feel so badly. Good luck!!
Ali first I’ve been such a fan of yours for so long and second I think Motherhood looks so natural and beautiful on you – I have loved watching your bond with Molly -it’s beautiful!
I am just sharing what has worked for us, in great hopes it encourages you and maybe something here works for you and Molly too! Our kiddos are now 5.5yrs and 3.5yrs. They both still sleep 8pm-7am and they both ALSO still take naps (my son doesn’t nap the 3 days he’s at school) but he still naps the days he’s home with us and on weekends. Having happy sleepers has been one of the biggest blessings in my life and I believe has truly helped their little bodies not get sick as often because their getting that vital restorative sleep.
They share a room currently. This was key when the oldest started sensing he was alone. Our 1.5 yr old went into his room and they go to bed right away.
My son was sleeping through the night at 3months old. He was breastfed all day, he would also get a small 2 ounce of formula bottle to top him off right after I breastfed him for the last time and Daddy would give him that bottle. It was important from early on that our babies could go to bed by either Mommy or Daddy. We have the kids rooms pretty darn dark (now that their older there’s a night light). We have total black out curtains -so crucial! We then have a sound machine also. It’s actually just an alarm clock that has those built in sounds -we put it on waterfall -which sounds like water noise. We put the volume of it louder than quieter. We bath our kids right before bed and start the wind down process -if they skip a bath for some reason we still hot rag their face and necks. Might sound silly but it gets them relaxed! When keep our kiddos room nice and cozy warm – most them time there is a space heater on in there room. They each have these super flat kid pillows and they both have blankies. I worked to get them attached to a snugglie or lovie right away – it makes ALL the difference. I did this by trying to swaddle them in the same blanket at night -if they weren’t the swaddles kind then I would take that blanket and lay it in the crib with them every night anyways, and throughout the day I’d stick that same blanket with them in their car seats, next to my boob when breastfeeding, playing peek a boo -etc. -thy eventually associated that blanket pretty quickly as their “lovie”. (You might want to purchase some extras of that exact lovie before hand -so once they’re attached you have backups of it)!
I also started reading to the at 6 weeks old -sounds crazy but true! I’d read the very same book (it was the Itsy Bitsy Spider) and sing the very same song to them every night for like a month before switching it up. This created a sense of “wind down” “consistency and routine” and “comfort”. So it went 1.) bath them in low lit bathroom and then lotion them up and put pjs on. Side note we always put our babies in socks for the night! Get the baby it’s blankie or lovie and keep it with the baby for all the next steps -Then read baby a book. Then 2.) breastfeed baby in darkened room with sound machine on 3.) Daddy comes in and topped baby off with a formula small bottle after I breastfed and then kiss baby 4.) then Daddy hands baby back to me and I rock him/her and sing to them the same song their use to hearing from me every night 5.) I put baby in crib awake but sleepy and put their blankie right next to them.
I hope this helps some!? Our kids sleep well anywhere we go and travel too! We do pack that sound machine when traveling! I kee my babies in a crib till right at 3yrs old too! Then I transfer them to a trundle crib like twin bed -because it still feels half way like an enclosed cozy crib! Once they get into their big beds we do lay with them for a bit. But our kids are self soothing and they have each other in their rooms! I had them purposely 2yrs apart at most so they’d have each other to lean on -it’s the most amazing bond. I also felt like I could be pregnant again by the time my son was 1yrs old because I had been getting sleep for a long time. My girl was sleeping through the night at 5months old 7pm-7am. We did they very exact same things for her and it all worked again! They love their cribs and now beds and they love nap time. We worked really hard to try and make sleep time and rooms a sanctuary for them. I am pregnant with our last -and the only way I knew I could do 3 is because of sleep! I think it’s SO crucial. We did it without having them “cry it out” too! I am not strong enough for that method -not that I don’t agree with it -I’m just a weenie. But our steps and routines did the trick somehow without having to use that method!
I hope this made sense and helps some! If you have any questions I’d love to help if I can. She’s still young enough you can do this! But (and I say this not trying to put fear out there) there is that key age that they just became bad sleepers if it doesn’t get set in stone early. I know many who say kids should be awake up to a year throughout the night -those kids are still waking 3-5 times a night and at the age of 5yrs! Don’t do that to yourself -your kids will be fine -but us parents must put ourselves first! The parents who really commit to a routine at all costs by the age of 6months have awesome sleepers! We are currently trying taking help some desperate parent friends of ours who’s child is in their bed and up 5 times a night and 2.5 yrs -it’s put a strain on their marriage. Anyways I know we’re all different so there’s no right or wrong! Your doing such a hard work and amazing job -and it’s so fulfilling! Bless you! Much â¤ď¸
We also struggle with sleep (my daughter is 9 months). It was the worst around 6-7 months. And teething nights are always bad. Honestly the only thing that helps when a tooth is cutting through is Motrin. That’s really the only time we give it, but we’ve tried everything and that’s all that works. We only give it 1-2 nights when we can see the tooth almost pushing through and she is extra fussy. Our baby monitor plays lullabies and so when she stirs in the middle of the night I push the music button on the monitor and most the time she will go back to sleep. If she doesn’t, I know she’s hungry. What we’ve been doing as of recentl is having my husband go in and feed her a bottle rather than me going in to nurse. She doesn’t like that because she wants the comfort of nursing but if she’s really actually hungry she will eat. I think it also makes her realize that if mommy isn’t coming in then I’m not going to wake up for a bottle with dad. This seems to be working for us! Also, maybe molly wants to sleep on her tummy and can’t because of the suit. I was totally freaked out at first when my daughter started sleeping on her tummy, but this is absolutely her favorite way to sleep and she rolls over almost immediately when we lay her down. She was a baby who hated tummy time, so that surprised me. I sleep on my tummy so I think she got that from her mama. Last thing, we tried the zippee-zip and that also helped. Now we just do jammies, and a sleep sack. Good luck. You aren’t the only one who isn’t sleeping. One thing that helps me on the rough nights is thinking about how one day I might really miss the extra snuggles at night!
Honestly, I think you’re being too hard on yourself. Give yourself a break. You’re doing a wonderful job. Molly is beautiful, growing & healthy. That’s what is most important. Every mom can write about their experiences or what works for them and their kids, but ultimately it has to be what works best for you and Molly. No one knows Molly better than you. So if you think she should eat during the night, feed her. If you want to let her soothe herself, go for it. No book or blog post knows what she needs. Only you do… My daughter is 2. She is going thru a sleep regression right now. However, From day 1 she’s been an awful sleeper. We went about 6 months after her 1st birthday of her sleeping soundly all night and then not again. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong with her, but she just doesn’t sleep. Ever. What I’ve learned talking to other moms is this.. They will grow out of it. I’ve taken her to the chiropractor. We do the oils.. I just quit blaming myself & reading about the “norm” & I just roll with it. She’ll sleep someday……… Which brings me to this. My husband & I talked about having more kids and my BIGGEST concern was how would I function with 2 kids not sleeping?! I gave birth to my son shortly after my daughter’s 2nd birthday. He slept thru the night at 6 weeks. Some nights he gets up once. Most night he sleeps from 9:30-5:30. God answered my prayers!!!… I see on your Insta that you and Kevin might try soon for #2. Go for it. Don’t let Molly’s lack of sleep stop you. Every baby is different…..
*Your baby will make up for the calories missed at night during the day*
^If there’s any advice you take from my post let it be that! That’s the most comforting thing my pediatrician told me that helped me while sleep training my little babe, who is a week older than Molly! So, Cole is my second sweet boy and very different than my first. My first slept through the night at 9 weeks. 9! It just literally happened one night and it was smooth sailing from there. I knew I was spoiled but I had no idea how much until my sweet Cole came along. So we had almost an identical timeline with sleep training. We started the Wednesday before Christmas then a tooth cut, and completely derailed our progress. And the sleep training was BRUTAL. Our approach was full on CIO. My friends had prepared me and advised us to get ear plugs. I didn’t wear them because I wanted to be in it with Cole but my husband did and said they didn’t muffle much (he is a strong crier). So for 4-5 nights he cried a total of TWO hours. An hour straight, a little reprieve, and then cried again for 45ish minutes. I wanted to die, but once we had committed, we were in it and I had to see it through. I had friends who said it only took one night of CIO and their kid was sleeping 12 hours. Others maybe a handful of nights until they achieved success. I was so disheartened, so broken that sleep training was not working. He cut another tooth a week after Christmas and we gave up sleep training. We went back to it two Friday’s ago and slowly but surely we’ve made progress. The last week he’s been going 7pm-6am. We’re holding out breath waiting to see if it truly sticks, but we’re committed to not feeding him before 6am anymore. He can do it and so can Molly. She will learn. If you can’t stand hearing her cry then yes I would recommend having someone else come in while she’s sleep trained. I think it’s the most effective approach, but it’s so hard on the mama heart. It’s for the best for YOU and her. We must take care of ourselves. I wouldn’t have been ready to do it before we tried so I’m glad we waited until right before his 6 month birthday. You can do this. She can do this. Be strong! And THANK YOU for sharing your journey. It has helped me feel like I’m not alone in my sleep deprivation. We’re warriors for sure đ
http://kidspluspgh.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/04/KidsPlusSleepHandout.pdf
I have a 9 month old. We followed this plan at 7 months (should have done it earlier!) and it has been fantastic.
My almost 5 month old only sleeps well on his tummy. He sleeps great in his Merlin on his tummy and can lift his head up when he wakes up. I am currently trying to find another swaddle but not even sure what to try with him only sleeping on his tummy. He was waking every 1-2 hours cuz he was always hungry.
Dear Ali
I love reading your blog! I have a 3 month old boy and I love reading about your experiences as a new mom! I was thinking that maybe Molly is approaching her next developmental leap (23-26 weeks) that’s why she’s having difficulty sleeping at night. I have this book called Wonder Weeks which explains baby’s leaps, it’s really awesome. It has a lot of advices tooI hope this can be at some help
Here is a short explanation
http://www.babysleepsite.com/baby-sleep-patterns/wonder-weeks-chart-baby-toddler-sleep/
Book you can check out here
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/9491882007/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1485476862&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=wonder+weeks+book&dpPl=1&dpID=51xJRFfI3eL&ref=plSrch
First know that most moms have gone through this at some point so you aren’t alone and it does end. Mine are 12, 10 and 5 now so I’ve been out of the baby stage awhile now. The first things that come to mind are making sure she’s getting full feedings during the day and not snacking and spaced apart far enough that she truly gets full. More calories during the day mean less needed at night. I’m guessing she doesn’t take a bottle? You could try having Kevin feed her for one feeding to make sure she’s getting enough and to give you a break. Motrin is great for teething so you could try to give her a dose of you think that’s what’s bugging her. Also with sleep training, it’s not that you can’t go in at all but I’d aim for every couple of days waiting longer and longer until you go in. Good luck!
Hi, I’m a mother of 4 and I only started sleep training with my second kid onwards. I was such a noob back then with my first kid. After all the methods I’ve tried, I think cry it out is the most efficient way to sleep train. No doubt you have to endure the incessant crying but trust me it’s the fastest way to sleep train a baby. Give it time and I’m sure you can tell the difference between whining and serious crying.
Hi Ali
Not sure if you will see this with all the comments but we discovered this transition sleeper on Shark Tank and it worked amazing. Baby can move, sit and crawl in it but feel comforted by feeling their edges. It’s also owned by a women/ mom: https://www.sleepingbaby.com/collections/zipadee-zip?gclid=CjwKEAiA2abEBRCdx7PqqunM1CYSJABf3qva373Y2OpcfUEwrejPNMypp-tyTcyQrVb7HlKv3-43dRoC_qvw_wcB
What really worked for us was having Daddy more active at night. For the first 7 months I always got up and fed, but you’re right they don’t need to eat. We let our little guy cry and if we decided we need to go comfort him it was dad who went in. He usually left baby in crib and rubbed his back (they say if you’re sleep training you shouldn’t pick baby up). That way he didn’t associate the comfort w food and learned to sleep through the night on his own!
Good luck! I finally got my boy spring through the night and now we’re having another- let the lack of sleep return!!!
Ali-
I SO feel your pain. I have an almost 10 month old little boy. I love this little man, but he has NEVER been a good sleeper. Literally, he has only slept through the night (straight until 5am) once in his life, and ill never forget it. It was a Saturday night, in August. He was about 5 months old (which was a good month, he slept decent back then). What I’ve learned, is that it’s ALWAYS something. Growth spurt, teething, milestone. You name it. I always had a reason to push back sleep training. And part of me wasn’t ready to give up the snuggles. My son is breastfed, and breastfed babies LOVE the boob. Its nourishment but SO much more, it is so incredibly soothing and comforting to them. I made the mistake of reading every sleep book under the sun. When he was about 4 months old. The CIO books have a strong campaign, that makes it sound like you will wreck your kid and they will have a lower IQ because you didn’t sleep train. The attachment parenting (which is what I considered myself to be, nurse on demand etc) say breastfeeding whenever they wake is the best thing you can do for them, the comfort they get from it is exactly what they need. And that they will learn to sleep when they are ready (a milestone). So I was left feeling like damned if I do and damned if I don’t. Im sure you would agree. Ethan, my son, at 6 months was waking up 2-4 times every night, like every other hour. I nursed him bc it was a quick fix. That always worked. Now, we are approaching 10 months and I am giving sleep training another go. You’ll be surprised how different you feel in a few months. At 6 months I hired a sleep coach, and I gave it a shot. But I wasn’t ready. At all. Now, I feel more ready. Ethan is very similar to Molly, knows how to put himself to sleep at night and knows how to self soothe- so why do they still call us? A good friend ensured me that no matter what I chose (sleep train or not) I will not mess up my kid. Sounds crazy, but it helps and I try to remember it. Anyway, Im letting Ethan cry more tonight. I think its time. And I think when you are ready- it’ll feel right. In the mean time, just enjoy the night time cuddles. xo
ps- just put him to bed, awake. Currently, he’s sitting up and practicing crawling in the crib. See- always something to mess up their sleep đ Good luck! You are not alone!
Hey Ali, I am a 23 year old mom with a 2 1/2 year old boy and a daughter who just turned 1. I cannot function without sleep so this whole topic was something I really struggled with. Currently both my babies sleep in their own rooms and mostly through the night. When my son was a baby (about 9 months or so) it was so hard for me to sleep train some nights I would sit right outside his door and cry cause it killed me listening to him cry, but within a week or so with consistently putting him in bed awake and not getting him until morning he started to get the hang of his schedule. With my daughter I started doing the sleep training sooner probably closer to 7 months. She is so set on her sleep schedule now that every night around 7:30-8 she gets extremely fussy so I make sure she has a full tummy and put her in her bed.
To answer your questions I do think you should try putting her in her room at your chosen bedtime until a certain time in the morning. If she wakes up during the night I suggest listening to her give her a certain amount of time to see if she goes back to sleep. I had to do this with my daughter I would give her 30 min or so if she was still crying I would feed her and put her right back in her bed. After a while the nighttime feedings ended. If she is truly hungry during the night she’ll let you know by not falling back asleep. I also recommend starting sooner rather than later. The longer you wait to start the harder it is on both of you and the longer it takes. It was so much easier with my daughter. Once you put her in bed the worst thing you could do is go back and pick her up this is because she will think you will come get her when she cries. If you consistently leave her she will learn to put herself back to sleep. The more consistent you are the quicker she will catch on. It’s def not easy but it will be worth it in the long run. I hope my story and tips help you guys out! The most important tip would probably be to just go with your instincts and do what works best for you and your little one. đ
Hi Ali! Question… how close is her room to yours? Do you hear her in the night bc of a monitor or bc her room is close? We started sleep training (baby wise) super early; mainly bc that’s what my older sister did (who has 4 girls) and it worked well for her. Once I got the ok from her pediatrician to drop night feedings I turned a noise machine AND fan on in my room so I couldn’t hear my daughter those couple of nights where she would fuss/cry bc she was used to getting up. My husband slept in a room closer to her those nights… just in case something was really wrong HE could hear her! That way her crying didn’t drive me nutty and I wasn’t tempted to go in. Once she was sleeping through the night I went back to sleeping with the monitor next to me :). I agree with you… it’s definitely time for some tough love!
One thought from my own experience with nursing- when my daughter FINALLY slept thru the night at 10 months (after I started cutting her off from nursing in the middle of the night), my boobs were ready to explode in the morning. You will probably need to pump at least once right before your bedtime to not be in extreme pain. Your supply would probably drop some too if you feed or pump for 12 hours.
Hey Ali! I have commented on your blog a few times in regards to Molly and sleep training. I am also a first-time mom and my son is about to turn one years old. Sleep training is such a difficult thing for us moms to go through because we love our babies so much, and we can’t help but want to soothe them. Trust me when I tell you that Molly will be just fine if you close that door at 7 PM and reenter at 7 AM. She will give you smiles, and will not remember a thing. I used this exact sleep training method (Mom’s on Call) with my son and it worked wonderfully. Night one he cried on and off for almost 2 hours. We did not sleep, and I was also crying watching him on the monitor cry. The second night he cried for 45 minutes. The third night he woke up for 15 minutes and put himself back to sleep. Fourth night he slept through and never looked back.
It is definitely OK to sleep train while a baby is teething. Your baby is going to be teething until she is at least two years old.
Let me know if you have any questions and good luck! She will do great. This is 10x harder on mom and dad than it is on baby.
Hi Ali,
I love that you are being so open and honest about being a mom-not enough moms are! I am the mom to an almost 3 year old and a 5 month old. Life is crazy, but of course I wouldn’t trade it. I also became super obsessed with my 5 month old’s sleep because I did it all wrong with my first kid. I never let him cry enough and would just feed almost every time he woke up. Nightmare.
A couple of things that are helping with my new babe…
Naps are important! Are you following appropriate wake times? If they’re overtired they tend to wake up more during the night.
Sleep train. At this point I would just say do extinction. She doesn’t need to eat at night if your pedi says. Put her to bed and don’t go back in until your desired wake time. Don’t put her down drowsy. That is heir first sleep cycle. She needs to learn to get herself to that point independently. Put her down wide awake. It will be a hard couple of nights but totally worth it.
When the crying is hard to listen to, tell yourself that sleep is just one of the many things you need to teach her as her mom. Teaching her to be an independent sleeper is not easy but it is so important for her (and you)!! Good luck!!!!! ?
Don’t have any experience with sleep training, but I did use the Merlin and when I took my son out he slept SO well! I thought about putting him in a Zipadee Zip sack, but then I was like this is one more thing I’m going to have to transition him out of later so decided against it and just used a long sleeved zip-up footed sleeper. Out of the suit he immediately rolled over onto his stomach and has been a stomach sleeper ever since (sometimes side sleeper) and it’s easier for him to soothe himself with his thumb this way too. Good luck you’re doing great and I know you’re super close to getting those precious zzzzzzz’s đ
Don’t have any experience with sleep training, but I did use the Merlin and when I took my son out he slept SO well! I thought about putting him in a Zipadee Zip sack, but then I was like this is one more thing I’m going to have to transition him out of later so decided against it and just used a long sleeved zip-up footed sleeper. Out of the suit he immediately rolled over onto his stomach and has been a stomach sleeper ever since (sometimes side sleeper) and it’s easier for him to soothe himself with his thumb this way too. Good luck you’re doing great and I know you’re super close to getting those precious zzzzzzz’s đ
My 2 cents-
Yes, put her to bed at 7 and don’t get her til I would say maybe 4 am? It depends on he baby but I feel like 7 am would be a stretch. I feel like my babies would get hungry around 4-5 and hopefully you could feed her and get her back to sleep for a few hours, until 7 or so. Obviously, you have a monitor to check on her. If you strongly suspect her being sick, check on her. If you teething ointment (oragel) just go in for that. And if you have to send someone in, I’d recommend your fiancĂŠ. Because he doesn’t have the milk. And typically dads are more firm and less sympathetic than mom’s (at least my husband is and the kids know it).
The best thing you could do is put her to bed and LEAVE. Like let your fiancĂŠ stay and make sure she is ok but you physically go for a walk or a coffee shop or target or whatever. We have a basement where I can’t hear the kids in the bedroom upstairs if I’m watching tv so I would hang out down there when I put them to bed while sleep training. My husband would keep an eye on the monitor to make sure they’re ok. Then he’d let me know when they were asleep. This advice doesn’t obvi work at night when they wake up, unless you can sleep somewhere where you can’t hear her. Or you just have to listen to the crying which will be torture but don’t give in! Make sure your fiancĂŠ knows he has to help you keep strong! Support is crucial.
All kids are different, and mine were worlds different in sleeping. (2 boys ages 2 and 4). Some kids will take longer with the training with others but it’s a good sign you put her down drowsy, not asleep, and that she does soothe herself with the thumb.
I remember thinking the same thing with my first…will I ever get a full nights sleep again?!?!? And you will. This is such a short time in the grand scheme even though it is awful. Good luck and stay strong!!
Also, we used Aden + anais sleep blankets for awhile and the just wore a onesie under fleece footed pjs to stay warm. She probably will be happier to sleep on her belly! And I saw your comment on someone’s reply that aren’t babies always going through something (teething, sickness, travel, etc) and it’s true. You will have to constantly re-train her and it’s annoying but worth it in the end. The first year of life is just about survival! For you and her and your fiancĂŠ!
My niece and her husband read the book Babywise and used the techniques…little Rosie sleeps like an angel. They also used one of the weighted suits (I called it the flying nun suit) for a few months.
Hope this helps?
Listen to your mommy instincts!!! There is no need to let molly cry, you are not teaching her bad habits. She will learn to sleep on her own with time but when babies wake up in the middle of the night alone in the dark all they want is comfort and you are doing the right thing by giving it to her! If she knows she can depend on you she will be more independent in the long run đ ive heard a lot of mamas say a side car crib works really well for them. Baby wakes up and sees their mama and can go back to sleep comforted with that fact. I have (safely) co slept with my baby since day 1 and we sleep great through the night! He never has to cry. Other mamas with babies the same age at our church wake up 4-5 times will we wake up twice! It’s ok to be there for your baby and so so normal. Look into the No Cry Sleep Solution I’ve heard lots of great things about it! I hope this helps. So many moms feel pressured to bear hearing their babies cry- you don’t have to. đ sending lots of love to you and Molly!!
Agree!!!
Hi Ali! Sorry if this is a duplicate response. Babies need a certain amount of milk in a 24 hour period. If they aren’t getting it during the day, they will wake at night to eat. If you know she is getting enough to eat from 7am – 7pm, then she is is not hungry in the middle of the night :). I have a 6 month old girl too that I am transitioning out of a swaddle sack and I let her whine at night — it doesn’t last long! Good luck! I know everybody says we will miss the middle of the night snuggles, but I’m not sure I will ;).
Oh boy I have so much to contribute and I’m not sure where to start. My daughter is 15 months and we’ve intermittently had problems all throughout her life. Good night, sleep tight by the sleep lady is an excellent resource to start with. My friend had a lot of success with her daughter with the techniques from that book, and her daughter is now 2 and loves naptime and bedtime. The tips worked well when my daughter was younger but ever since she hit what we’re guessing is a sleep regression around her first birthday we’ve had a lot of rough nights. At Molly’s age she probably doesn’t need to eat at night, but the book does suggest a couple techniques to eliminate frequent night feeding. You could either wake her before you go to bed and nurse her quick, or you could nurse her the first time she wakes up but set a time limit, for example no feedings past 1am. Another thing is if she takes a pacifier and is coordinated enough to put it in her mouth you could try scattering 5 or 6 around the crib so there’s always one within reach. One more thing you could try is having Daddy check on her instead because he doesn’t have the milk đ A lot of reading I’ve done says babies are more likely to go back to sleep faster for Dad because nursing is not an option. I hope some of these tips are helpful! We’re at a point where crying it out is our only option because our pedi said she’s essentially throwing a tantrum in the crib at this age so our only option to extinguish bad habits is to let her cry which absolutely breaks my heart and makes me feel so mean! But I know ultimately we are teaching her good sleep habits and overall she has been sleeping better during the night. I guess the advice I wish I’d been given is this: Try to use gentler methods with Molly to create good habits now so you won’t have to resort to the heartbreaking cry it out method when you find your toddler still isn’t sleeping well ?
It is so hard to sleep train, I totally get it. It was a necessity for us as we have a 13 mo (adopted) and a 5 mo. So we sleep trained my first at 5 mo and then again my 5 mo a month or so ago. We do babywise method, but babywise doesn’t really tell you methods in the middle of the night when you’re having to listen to your baby scream. My second seriously has he loudest cry ever so it was hard. But we turned off the monitor and went in first after 10 minutes and then after that every 15 mins. She usually never makes it to the second check, she tires herself out. It seriously only takes a few nights but I know it is so hard. It is important tho to have a good daytime schedule to make it work at night. I would hire a sleep trainer at this point to help, totally worth a couple hundred dollars for your sanity. We also have a group of babywise mamas all around the same age (the babes not the moms) that have a group on Facebook that talk schedules and help troubleshoot what’s going on. It has been so fun and really helpful at times. Good luck mama, you’re doing great and she will eventually sleep and letting her cry hurts a few days but is so good for her in the long run!!!
Oh and we use the zippity zip with both girls and love it!!! They know it’s time for bed when they get in it and it is totally fine with rolling, standing and all the stuff in the near future đ
If she’s starting to roll around at night, put her jammies on and let her roll. Back is best, but since she’s rolling on her own, she should be fine. AND if she rolls onto her stomach, she will sleep LONGER.
Also, do you do a paci? We didn’t want to forever, and the day I decided to, E slept 5 hours straight. She seems like she may do ok with one, since she sucks her thumb. Which, BTW, I don’t recommend. It’s terrible for their thumbs – their skin gets ugly and the shape changes. And let’s not mention that her teeth will be very messed up. Give her a paci. You can always take it away later, but you’ll never be able to take away a thumb.
Lastly, hang in there mama. Remember that every kid is different. I did what you’re doing- I let my kid cry it out. But you’re right- you do have to be very, very strong to make it through. But you will. If I did, anyone can! And it works. It’s kind of controversial, but lemme tell you this – no kid died of crying. She’ll be ok!
Hang in there!!
I have a 7 month old (born June 29th) and she’s up 3-4 times a night since birth. Never has slept through the night yet. Very uncomfortable sleeper and does a lot of tossing and turning all night. Even see it during nap time. And she has no teeth yet at all so I can’t blame that! You’re not alone! Tried sleep training only once and she screamed for an hour with me calming her in between her screaming. Didn’t work and I just let her get up to eat. I’m just thankful she’s healthy and always say hey it could be worse. Figured it will be over soon enough but yes it is very hard!
Ali – I cannot relate more to your sleep issues (or lack thereof). My daughter is a month younger than Molly (born 8/6), and we have been struggling with the whole sleep training biz for some time now. Last week I spoke to another nursing mom at work while we were pumping (inbetween a curtain that is), and she has 1+ year old that still has extreme sleep issues/sleeps mostly in bed with them. In that moment I said to myself – no more. I cannot keep up with this for an entire year, and then some! I just so happen to also follow Jillian Harris on Instagram/Twitter, and saw that she recently invested in a sleep consultant through a Canadian company called WeeSleep. I live in Boston, so I wasn’t sure if they worked with us US folk, but turns out that they do. They offer a virtual plan, so all consultations are done via the phone/Skype/email. So, after some back and forth – my husband and I officially decided to invest in our and our daughter’s sleep. We have our plan, and we start tomorrow night (eek!). In all honesty, I am overwhelmed by the plan and dreading night 1, but we cannot keep this up, and something needs to change. Also, most of what our sleep consultant said and prescribed to us is what we expected to hear (i.e., the brutal truth), but I am equating this whole thing to a personal fitness trainer. I know how to get into shape, I just don’t have anyone barking at me day after day to get my arse in gear. We are paying for a service, it will hold us accountable, and – if we stick to the plan – it promises results in 10 days or less. It may be worth a try for you and your fam. They provide a free 15 min consultation over the phone (mostly a sales pitch, but also nice to speak to an unbiased party/pro about your sleep issues), and then you can choose to invest from there. I can’t even tell you if this program is going to work for us, but we will and have to try. Sleep is in our futures – I have faith.
I wish you lots of luck and some tough love.
Good luck!
I haven’t read the other comments because there are so many, so hopefully this isn’t repetitive. Have you checked out Precious Little Sleep? Their website and Facebook group are SO helpful and supportive. The Facebook group particularly. I’d recommend joining ASAP! You need to request joining by going to the website first.
Download “Moms On Call”….it’s a short helpful read with great sleeping, napping and schedule advice. It’s been a miracle for us!
Our daughter is 7 months and we transitioned from the merlin sleep suit to the zen sleep sack. She did so much better once in the sleep sack because she was able to freely roll onto her tummy to sleep. She sleeps so much better being on her tummy or side.
My son is almost 8 months and has been sleeping through the night since 6 months so this is what we have been doing…
– firstly my sons pediatrician said that to ensure your baby is getting all of the ounces they need during the day because feeding at night at this age isn’t required
– my son wears a footed onesie (no undershirt) with a sleepsack. This gives him mobility because he loves to sleep on his stomach. He puts himself in this position and sleeps on his stomach the entire night. So it could be possible she wants to move onto her stomach as well but can’t because of the Merlin sleep suit
– lastly as hard as it is you have to allow her to self soothe. It took a few nights of whining and tossing and turning but they eventually learn this skill at night and the crying and whining will stop after a few nights
Just what works for us!
Being a Mommy I so hard! Just know you aren’t alone with baby sleep problems. We could never do sleep training with our son (my husband and I could not let him cry), so we ended up cosleeping and it has been great. My son now sleeps 11 hours straight a night. Someone once said to me that I would never want to be left alone to cry if I was scared or in pain, so why would I do that to a little baby? Just do what feels right to you. If you don’t want to leave Molly alone all night there are other sleep training options out there. They may take a little longer, but are more gentle. If you decide to cosleep, Dok a Tot might be an option. Also, the Sleepy Littles group on facebook is great for giving advice. Good luck!
Hi, my daughter was born July 4th and hasn’t been sleeping well for the past few months. Last night I googled the best books to try to help me teach her to sleep and found two articles that I found very helpful.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ava-neyer/i-read-all-the-baby-sleep-advice-books_b_3143253.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/topics/health-concerns/sleep-problems/31-ways-get-your-baby-sleep-and-stay-asleep
I’ve decided to keep trying different solutions until I can find what makes her the most comfortable…fingers crossed it doesn’t take too long.
Good luck!
Hi again! I could not find my previous comment so I am leaving a new one. I just wanted to add that if you do decide to put Molly to sleep in a footed onesie, I add socks and a short sleeve onesie underneath (a white tee shirt would work too) because I found that the extra warmth helps her sleep. Also in response to your new question, I would say yes as long as she is nursing well throughout the day then she should be able to go that long. One thing I would say is if she is still waking up at the same time after 3 or 4 nights, that it is a need more than a want. We tried going cold turkey with my daughter because every time I put her down, 30-60 minutes later she would wake up wanting to nurse again, so I ignored her for about a week and then realized it’s more of a need than a want so now I nurse her and she’ll sleep 7 hours straight, nurse again and then sleep until 8 AM. Hope this helps! Good luck tonight!
I’ll try to make this short… I HIGHLY suggest you purchase The Sleep Sense Program. It’s about $50 and it will take you through 2 weeks of sleep training step by step. There’s a short ebook to read, and videos as well if you don’t want to read the book and then there’s a daily coaching video that gives you tips and let’s you know what to do next. It also comes with a work book that helps you establish a solid day time routine, night time routine and commit to what you will do and not do when you put the baby down for bed and for night wakings. The workbook is key because it holds you accountable. My son is 5 months and before we started sleep training I had to hold him for EVERY nap and he slept in bed with us. To get him to sleep each night I would have to rock, bounce, walk, etc and he had to have the pacifier. It took me over an hour every night to get him to sleep in my arms and then at night he would wake up 3-4 times. He was not capable of soothing himself at all! The first night of sleep training I was in the room with him by him crib and I pat his stomach every 5 min. He cried for 3 hours and 40 min!!! I was dying so I had to leave for a couple of minutes. Well he fell asleep when I was out of the room. Fast forward to 3.5 weeks later and he cries for hardly 15 min each night, I put him down at 6:30p, awake but drowsy and I walk out of the room, and most nights he sleep all the way until 6a without waking at all! I was feeding him once during the night before we started the program but I realized he wasn’t hungry… He was just using me to soothe himself back to sleep. I did start cluster feeding after his last nap so he’s nice and full before bed and that has helped. Oh and he got sick and started teething during the sleep training but we pushed through and he did just fine. I hate hearing him cry but I know he’s not in pain, he’s just protesting because he wants my company, but he needs sleep more. You just got to be strong, you can do it and your little girl will be just fine. If anything the disruption in her sleep is worse for her and most likely she woke grow out of it if you keep reinforcing the night wakings by going to her.
Sorry meant to say she won’t grow out of it.
I think you just need to bite the bullet and do cry it out- as you say she knows how to self soothe. Just cut the chord and do it- it’s NOT easy but you just have to commit to it. We have let our daughter cry for like 30-40 mins- she wouldn’t be hysterical- but would cry, whine, cry and finally slow down and go to sleep. Hang in there!!’ You are doing a great job!
I did not read all these replies so sorry if it has already been suggested.
My daughter is now 27. But I run a very popular daycare here in San Diego. The parents call me the “sleep whisperer”. LOL.
At this point you are really doing Molly an injustice if you don’t let her learn to self soothe. She is training you ( and will continue to do so as she will just keep getting smarter) rather than you training her.
Put her down at her bedtime. If she starts crying wait 20 minutes. If she doesn’t stop go to her room and let her know you are there. Pat her back. Leave. Do it again if she cries again. The next night wait 25 minutes. The next night 30 minutes and so on. But unless she is sick do not feed her or pick her up. Just let her know you are there and leave. This is the advice one of my daycare parents sleep trainer (they hired one) used and it works beautifully. It takes about 2 weeks and then Molly will love her bed. It works. I have used it with all the infants that start with me after they turn 6 months. Good luck!!! Jodie
Hi Ali,
I have a 4.5 month old and I haven’t started sleep training yet but I’m so glad I follow your blog for when I do!! I love reading it and loving all your fashion finds! Also, What kind of oils do you use for Molly’s massage?
Hi I’m a mom of 3 little ones (4 yr, 22 month old and 4 month old) so what worked for us for our first is we would do the bed time routine (bath, books, nurse then bed) and once he was asleep and would wake up 3 hours later my husband would be the one to calm him down and put him back to sleep. We realized that our baby just wanted me to nurse him back to sleep and if Daddy came in he knew that there was no milk. It took about a month or so for our baby to finally sleep through the night. Our first was a terrible sleeper. He woke up 2-4 a night until he was 18 months. I was still nursing then so anytime he woke up I would get him he just wanted to nurse. I was exhausted so finally my husband took over and worked like a charm. Good luck on the method you decide to choose. Hang in there. Trust me I know how you feel! I haven’t slept in nearly 4 yrs! ?
OMG, we moms love to talk about sleep! I’m a mom of two (2.5 yr and 7 mo), I didn’t sleep train my first but just did with my second and it went better than expected. One important tidbit I would add is, if you choose to sleep train, do so before Molly starts pulling herself up, or even worse, starts saying “mama.” I waited too long with my first and then these things started happening and it made it so much harder (I ended up waiting for her to sleep through the night naturally, which eventually happened around 11 months). Sleep training is the perfect time to get out of the merlin suit (starting with bedtime). It will be easier for her to self soothe if she can roll onto her belly.
Another side note, I love the swaddle designs sleep sacks (they can be found on amazon too). This one looks and feels exactly like the one the little giraffe but is almost half the price and washes so much better.
http://www.swaddledesigns.com/pastel-puff-circle.html?colorswatch_color=204
In my experience the little giraffe blankets lose their lush feel after the first wash, which is disappointing when you are paying a premium.
Sleep training is so, SO hard for moms. But it has huge benefits. Can Kevin handle the crying? We sleep trained both our kids, and the crying didn’t bother my husband too much. So when we put them down for bed (around 7pm), I HAD to leave the house. Go the grocery store, see a movie, go shopping, work out….whatever! And I wouldn’t come home until they were asleep. Then in the middle of the night, I actually slept in the living room without the monitor and ear plugs to sleep through it. Yes, you’ll feel guilty and horrible — but the reality is that babies need sleep, and teaching them to do so will help them as they grow too. And it does get better! Give it a few nights, and it should get easier. Best of all, they’ll cry and cry and break your heart….but then in the morning they’ll wake up so happy to see you and go about their day like nothing happened!
There’s also a method (ferber method) where you let the baby cry it out, but go in and basically say hi in timed intervals. Just don’t ever…EVER pick the baby up đ A little rub, shhh, and then leave.
There are so many rules for us moms now…it’s impossible to feel like we’re getting things right. But just go with what you feel is best for your baby, don’t get too caught up in what other moms say is the right/wrong way, and trust your body to take care of your baby.
YOU’RE DOING A GREAT JOB!
I swear by the book ” healthy sleep habits happy child” it has worked for my two other children and I’m starting this now for my 3 month old. I was super strict like the book said to be. It was very hard with our first child to do it and hear her cry whichnin turn would cause me to cry. I knew I had to stick with it and it worked after 4 nights. The first night I remember she cried for 50 min, the second night was 30 and so on. By the 4th night she was sleeping from 6 pm to 7 am every day and let me tell you it was the most amazing thing. We were all happy lol. We did this then for my son at 4-5 months and again worked for him just the same. It’s hard for sure but it pays off because the older they get they understand that if you keep going into them then they will keep waking up more bc they are getting the response they want. For us we realized nipping it in the bud early on was the key. My Dr always said around 6 months they are no longer hungry at night and it just becomes a soothing routine for them if they keep waking up. Of course sickness and teething this got thrown out the door and we would have to retrain again for another couple days to get them back on track which is hard but they get it quicker. To this day our 5 year old and 2 year old are still sleeping 10-12 hours at not uninterrupted (excluding illness and teething) but I truly feel for us this book worked wonders and enforcing the strictness early on was the key. We will see how it works here with our 3 month old lol. Good luck and hang in there!! The first child is the hardest because it’s all new and scary. You are doing awesome and are an amazing mom!! Love your blogs and enjoy reading them!!!
Transition her out of the merlin suit! I have a 7 month old and as soon as she got out of the suit, she learned to sleep on her tummy and that was the game changer! I was the buggest skeptic of sleep training but it worked like a charm for her. We didnt go cold turkey, we dropped one feeding at a time but do what feels good to you! Our pediatrician told us if you stop sleep training because they are teething then you wont sleep for 2 years ? What Ive learned is that every baby is different and you have to figure out what works for your family. Good luck! Cant wait to see what you decide to do!
I don’t have any advice because my son is now 3 and just started consistently sleeping through the night, he will still wake up if he doesn’t get a bed time snack. It has been rough to say the least (especially since his older sister had no issues sleeping through the night at an early age!). It’s so hard to hear them cry – I would go in and tell him it was still night night time, rub his back and leave. Listening to him scream for 20 minutes felt like the longest minutes of my life. But he got through it, you guys will get through it, just know you’re not the only ones!
Good morning Ali from Toronto!
I know Kevin wakes up early for work, but can he help with the sleep training? If the crying is too hard for you to listen to when you put her down drowsy, but awake at bedtime then say goodnight and leave the house for an hour or two. I find Jodi Mindell’s Sleeping Through the Night a softer version of the crying it out method. Molly does NOT need to eat in the middle of the night. If she knows how to self soothe to sleep at bedtime then when she wakes up in the middle of the night and is crying (not whining) then have Kevin rock her back to sleep. He may be up a few times rocking her, but then she won’t smell you and want to soothe by breastfeeding. Ignore the sleep sacks/gadgets unless she is used to it (i.e. We still semi swaddle our 9 month old boy). Teething sucks and I would recommend a little Tylenol.
We have three boys who all learned to sleep differently. Remember sleep training is a gift to Molly. She needs good, solid unbroken sleep. And it is a gift to yourself, since being the best parent you can be is impossible with continued broken sleep. There will still be nights you may want to quickly nurse at 3am to get her back to sleep quickly and that is fine, I do it, but remember lack of sleep effects everything: work, temperament, parenting and your relationships. Short periods of crying doesn’t hurt. Hell, we can cry for 20 minutes and are fine. It is simply Molly’s way of saying I love you and would much rather hang out with you then do this silly thing called sleep. đ
You’re doing awesome! Keep reminding yourself that. You’re doing awesome!
This is so hard and frustrating and I don’t have a ton of advice for you. But once we came to the conclusion also that our son wasn’t hungry/didn’t need to eat every 3 hrs at night my husband would go in t him if needed and the settle down time was so much faster. I really think our son knew that mommy had the goods and daddy didn’t. good luck, I promise she will sleep thru the night and this will be history đ
I have three kids all of whom are now sleeping 12 plus hours at night. When we first started sleep training my pediatrician said if you cannot listen to your baby cry for more than 20 minutes don’t even bother doing it cuz it Doesn’t teach them anything. She obviously can go long enough without food and she’s just waking up out of habit not because she’s hungry. Do your bedtime routine, give her lots of hugs and love, put her to bed and say I’ll see you in the morning! When we are working on sleep training I saved tasks that I would normally do during the day for the night when she was crying. I knew I couldn’t lay in my bed and listen to my kids cry so I got up and I paid bills or mopped the floor or got some chores done for those nights of training. Once they figure it out they’ll be sleeping through the night and so will you. If they are teething, I would do the same thing but if I felt like they were in pain I go in, give some ibuprofen and a kiss, and then leave. You’ll get there!
Thanks for that advice about keeping my mind busy when she’s crying.
My son is 6 months. I sleep trained at 5 months and he now sleeps 11 hours at night. The key is to put down the same time every night and same time for naps. Pick 11 hours. If you want her to wake at 7am you shouldn’t put down to sleep until 8pm. Start bedtime routine at 7:30pm. At this age they do not need food in the night. When she wakes you need to not pick up or feed. Do checks but only stay in for max a minute. Increase the time you go back in. It is so hard to hear them cry but think of it as helping her. She will learn to sleep and be a much happier little baby for it.
Hey! Your doing great! My little one is almost 2 and I still put her in a halo sleep sack. She sleeps mostly on her tummy but will not keep a blanket on.
As for sleeping. I would say at 6 months feeding once a night is totally normal (both of mine I would feed until 1 yr). But any other time you have to go in offer her a bottle of water. She will quickly realize you aren’t going to feed her and she will sleep.
I personally can’t let my youngest at almost 2 cry for more than 15 min. But at this point she only wakes when something is bothering her so I always go in. Use your judgement and always trust your instincts. All babies are different but it sounds like last night was a great test!
I only fed her once last night. But it was hard listening to her cry the other times. I don’t know if I can do this!!!! It’s SO hard not to go to her EVERY time! But I know it’s what’s best for her. But I still think I’ll fed her at least once a night fr a while.
Listen to your heart! Obviously it says go to calm her down. Every baby needs it, letting your baby cry it out makes no sense for it! If you want to read something really helpful, informative and scientific proven go to safe-programm.de (you can switch to english). It is awesome!! Would love if you let me know if it was helpful for you, I bet it is <3
Ali – thanks for the post. My son is a couple weeks younger then Molly and we go through the exact same thing! To be honest, I kind of love the snuggles and breastfeeding. but on nights when that doesn’t work and he just cries no matter what it breaks my heart. And actually my husband has a harder time letting him cry then I do. It really never feels like the right time to sleep train. We leave for Florida on vacation tomorrow! and I know when we are there we will just do anything to get him to sleep. To make matters worse, I work full time – 3 days in the office and 2 from home. On the days I am not with my son, he hardly eats, maybe 10 ounces, so I can’t not feed him at night because I want to make sure he makes up for not eating a lot during the day. I know one day he will sleep and I will miss my little cuddler, so part of me is ok with him waking up, but the other part of me is not because I am worried he is not getting the rest he needs. On top of this, he is teething too. I think when we get back from Florida it is time for some really really tough love and we will let him cry it out. By the way, my pediatrician doesn’t seem concerned at all about the lack of sleep, lack of food on days I am at the office, and insists on not giving any solids till he is officially 6months old – I already broke that by adding rice cereal about 2 weeks ago.
Thanks all for the good advise. Overall I do think we all have mommy instinct and every baby is different. Lets all encourage one another and keep up the good work. Agree that they grow up so fast and I will take this hurdle of no sleep over other “grown up” issues any day!
Hi Ali! First congrats on continuing to stay positive through this whole parenting process! It’s refreshing to hear your perspective when I’m at a breaking point. I love your blogs, so thank you! My best advice is what you already know đ The fact that Molly was able to sleep 8 hours straight during the night (even if it was just once) is proof she can go that long without food. I told myself that the first time my daughter and son slept more than 6-8 hours that would start my sleep training and tough love. If they woke up I would let them cry it out. Consistency and routine are key. There will be setbacks as they approach new milestones but if you stay consistent they’ll go back into a sleep schedule. For teething have you considered tylenol at night? Some parents may not feel comfortable but it helps relieve the pain so at least you can go to bed knowing she’s more comfortable. Good luck and thank you again for your positivity!
Go with your gut….Trust yourself!! And what works best for you đ
I remember being a naive (yes it’s true lol) first time mom, thinking my baby wouldn’t cry and would sleep great. And then my son was born. He was collicky and didn’t sleep through the night until 12months!
I recently had a daughter who is now 14months old. She isn’t sleeping fully through, but I’m not as concerned about sleep second time around. I know it will come! And I know she can do long stretches. They are just so busy growing and changing, it’s a constant roller coaster with sleep. So I just take each day as it comes and sooo relish any long stretches of sleep. It will end, I promise!! And try not to stress about it.
Good luck xo
If she’s slept through the night without eating multiple times she’s proven she doesn’t need to eat. my pediatrician said to me of my now 2 year old “if someone offers you chocolate cake in the middle of the night, would you say no?” it’s hard but be tough and after a few days all will be well đ only go in during the night if she’s sick. Also once she rolls on to her belly in the crib she will sleep much better – kids sleep better on their stomach so once they can roll it really helps. I would just go regular sleep sack from the merlin. quite frankly it doesn’t sound like your Merlin is working anyway đ Good luck though, i’m sure you’re a wonderful mom and your daughter is very lucky to have you taking such good care of her!
We did middle of night feedings with Reid until he was about 7-8mos. He would typically wake around 3am and I would feed him 3-4oz. Initially he would still wake up (out of habit) but we let him self soothe and he after about a week slept right through the night! He didn’t start sleeping through the night consistently until he was about 10 mos old. All I can say is keep the routine in place- same time, bath, book, feed, bed or whatever you do and eventually she will adapt! No sleep is terrible especially when you’re a working parent and feel like a walking zombie but it does get better! I know for Reid, he is big into his routine and if we travel or do anything, he totally knows and doesn’t like it when we aren’t home and when he isn’t in his own room/bed! Keep on truckin, mama!
Hi Ali! First of all, your little Molly is so cute. That “bah” video is one of my favs. At 6 months old, Molly is perfectly capable of making it through the night without eating. She just has to break the habit. I have an 8 month old and we put him to bed between 7-7:30 and if we hear him make any noises or start to wake up through the night we just go in and put his pacifier back in his mouth and leave, or rest a hand on his chest so he knows we’re there, until he falls back asleep. We never make eye contact, never say anything to him, and most importantly we never ever pick him up (except one time when he had gas and was screaming bloody murder.) Our rule is he doesn’t get out of bed until 6am. So even if he wakes up at 5:50, we wait the 10 minutes and soothe him until it’s time to get him out of his crib. Also, I don’t know what Molly’s nap schedule is like, but the more sleep my son gets during the day, the better he sleeps at night. So we never wake him up from naps. The more he sleeps, the better. He’s only awake for 2-3 hours between naps and this works for him. It means he’s never overtired, so he goes down easy for naps and bedtime. Hope you managed to get some sleep last night!
Hi Ali! Molly is the cutest and always has the best bow headbands! You should check out my friends Etsy website who makes bow and flower headbands that I know Molly would look adorable in! âşď¸ https://www.etsy.com/shop/MintedTulip?ref=pr_faveshops
Always love reading your blogs as I’m a first time mom with a newborn and love the bachelor and bachelorette!
My daughter woke up at least once a night for her first 14 months. As she got older it got harder and harder to get her to sleep during the night. I couldn’t take it any more and knew she should be able to sleep through the night so I decided to find a sleep consultant and it was the best thing I did. Nothing she told us was earth shattering but it kept us accountable and she helped make me feel like I was doing the right thing. As soon as we started with her she started sleeping through the night. It cost about $450 and was worth every penny! She will be 2 next month(tear) and sleeps 11-12 hours straight each night.
hope that helps!
The best thing our doctor told us at 6 month appt is that babies don’t need to eat during the night – they may be hungry that night when you don’t come in but they will learn quickly transfer their calories to the day and just eat more then so they can last 12+ hours without. I was also glad to know that at 6 months is when babies can and will try to manipulate you, this is what she is doing (not in a mean way, she just knows what she wants and is trying to get that out of you), I know letting her cry is so hard but after a little time you’ll see it is SO worth it. We even stopped going in to give her her binkie because she would get more upset seeing us and wanting to be held. So when we put her down (not specific time but ends up being similar timing – I let her play after her bottle to see if she’s tired, and she will fuss when she’s tired and done playing so I know to put her to bed. We were so glad we stopped going in at 6 months because she self soothes and it’s what’s best for her. Side note – she slept 12 hours straight before 6 months then wanted to add a feed during night which showed us that’s when she really could manipulate. Good luck and stay strong it’s worth it!! Also helps if you and hubby decide to commit to it together (in hopes of getting back your beauty rest!) because chances are at times one of you will be stronger than the other and it really helps.
At beginning when I said dr said babies don’t need to eat during night – I meant after 6 months!!
I love your blog & your mommy realness!
I have a 5 month old and she has been a great sleeper until the dreaded 4 month sleep regression. She also was in a zipadeezip at this time after the swaddle, which is great. So, when she decided not to sleep through the night anymore I decided that if I am not going to sleep for this time I’m going to go cold turkey on everything. No zipadeezip, no pacifier, no feedings. So I did not have to be sleep deprived again when I transitioned her out of those things again. My mommy heart totally relates, the crying is so hard, SO hard! It makes me tear up but when I was giving in and I would pick her up it’s amazing how she was totally fine. During this age that your baby and mine are at they are in a leap where they learn the distance between mommy and baby. It gives them a little separation anxiety. I use the “wonder weeks” app to let me know what leap I am at. This specific leap is around 4-6 weeks I believe, check it out! It’s helped me understand her a little better. Obviously, no baby is the same but it’s nice to read something and know your not alone.
I have 8 month old twins, so I just went through this times two, and can totally commiserate! We found that sleep training is not as straight forward as the books make it sound and it’s so frustrating trying to figure out when they need you and when they don’t.
I really think every baby is different and following your mommy instincts is the way to go. One of our twins is teething really badly, and as you said I can tell the “pain” cry from the whiny cry, so I go in if he’s in pain and nurse/give Tylenol. Aside from that, what we’ve found works for us is to put them down when they seem tired (usually 6:30-7) and don’t go in until around 11-12 when they usually start their first cry. Then I nurse them again and don’t go in again until 6-7 when they wake up happy-ish (unless they seem like their in pain). I also go in if they cry for more than 30 min (which after the first week they usually didn’t).
Hope that helps! Bottom line, it’s not as easy as some people make it seem, and you’re not alone! Through trial and error you’ll figure it out. Just remember, it really is cruel to be kind, and no baby ever died from crying đ đ Best of luck!!!
I strongly believe that she’ll sleep through the night when she’s ready! I’m a peds nurse and my husband a doctor and we don’t let her cry it out. At 6 months she was doing the same waking as Molly. But it gets better! She went from waking 4x to 2x to 1x, now at 11 months, she sleeps 7-7 without crying. If she just wants mama in the middle of the night, just remember she’s a baby, and you are her world! ?
I feel you!!! My two sons started to sleep trough the night at 2 years old!!! The only thing I can personally recommend is to follow your heart, that is the only right recipe for success, no kid is the same or sleeps the same and only you as a mom know what is best for your little one. It will happen sooner or later, besides when they start to sleep through the night is you that wake up to check on them! haha. Hang in there, you are the best!
Holy moly you have a ton of comments on here! I saw people are recommending a zipadee zip, but if she likes to suck her thumb and have her hands free then I doubt that will work. My son was frustrated by the lack of access to his hands plus for me that was ONE more tranisition I would have to do. So, I would just pick a slew sal, I prefer halo, and go with it. Consistency is key. Make a plan and stick to it. Doesn’t matter what plan you choose just be extremely consistent. That is the only way it will work!
We did sleep training with my daughter, she is 3 and is STILL an amazing napper and sleeper. My son is 6 months old and wakes once to nurse at night, and I’m ok with that bc he is truly hungry. I think you also need to trust your instincts. If you feel she will need a nighttime feed, I don’t think you can just go cold turkey from feeding 3-4 times a night to nothing bc she’s used to getting some calories. I would set a time (say you aren’t going to nurse her before 1 or 2 am) and if she wakes before then let her cry. And then if she wakes between that feed and morning then let her cry.
I think the big point is consistency! And doing what is best for you and Molly! And only you know that! Good luck!
Download the Wonder Weeks app on your phone it helps you know if something developmental is going on,… like a growth spurt etc.
We had to sleep train my 2nd baby jack. I had him at 40 and was way too old to not sleep for months at a time. I couldn’t listen to the crying without going crazy so I started leaving the house. I would put Jack down then get in the car and drive for an hour. I knew my husband would never let anything happen to jack, but I couldn’t listen to the crying without assuming the worst. We did this for 4 nights and on night 5 I put jack down and no crying. It was so amazing! We sleep trained him at 5 months old.
Hang in there, I know how tough it is! It gets better, I promise!!! My daughter is is 5-1/2 yrs old now and an amazing sleeper thanks to the hard, strict effort my husband and I (I say “I” lightly because he really made the decision for us). It was hard to hear her cry it out, but after 3 days, it was great! We had a similar bedtime routine as you, and I kept doing the same thing, going in every time she cried and needed her pacifiers. It was awful, but like I said my husband really stopped it and disciplined me, glad he did! Trust that your truly doing the best you can and when your ready to move forward with a method, just commit. Time flies, before you know it you’ll look back at this as a very long memory and think “it wasn’t so bad” lol! Good luck! ???â¤?
Hi Ali! I have a six month old right now as well. Her name is Allie (never knew a bad person with that name! Haha). She is my second child, so I have learned a few things. My first didn’t sleep though the night until 18 months, so with this one I was DETERMINED to stick to a routine.
I read tons of books and really did my research, and Allie was sleeping 8 hour stretches at 2.5 months! Here is my top advice:
1. Always keep her bedtime routine and TIME the same. If you think 7pm works for your family, perfect. But as much as you can, try not to change it! Obviously life happens, but for the most part, keep it at 7pm.
2. At 6 months old, babies have no need to eat during the night. At all. So do not feed her until 6:30 or 7 in the morning. As a fellow breastfeeding mom, I know this can be just as hard on the mom. I love that bonding time! But it’s necessary to stick to that so you don’t confuse Molly.
3. If/when she wakes up fussing, let her CIO. If it takes longer than about 15 minutes for her to work herself back down, have your husband go in there to rub her back. DONT PICK HER UP! Once she is calm, have your husband leave the room. If she cries again, give her another 15 minutes. Repeat. The reason I say husband is because 1. You gave birth. Let him have some not so fun roles haha. And 2. She will smell your milk and get teased and become wide awake thinking its time to eat.
4. Lastly, I know lots of people are going to disagree with me, but let Molly be free to roll! Both my daughters slept better once I stopped swaddling and confining them. They were able to find a comfy position that way. And at 6 months, they are strong enough to lift their heads so the chances of suffocation are lower. Allie rolls to her side as soon as I put her down, and sleeps that way. By morning, she is always bustled in the corner of the crib, on her tummy, little toosh in the air. She is comfier that way. So I let her do it!
And remember… A better rested mama makes for a happier mama during the day, when it really counts! I am such a happier, less stressed mama with Allie than I was with her big sister, who never slept. My biggest mistake with the first born was I tried so many different methods, but stopped because of teething, or a cold, or a growth spurt. Babies crave order and schedule. How upset would we be if we didn’t know when our next meal was coming? Good luck to you mama! You are doing fabulous with Molly, and she of course is perfect.
There is definitely a light at the end of the tunnel. both my kids have been complete opposites. my son didn’t really sleep through the night until around 1 year old and he has ALWAYS been an early riser, but it has gotten better (from waking up at 5:30 every.single.day to no 7ish, he is 3). My daughter (about to be 2) was so bad as a newborn, she wanted to always latch on, like every 2 hours, day and night until around 5 months. I moved her to her crib and that was a life changer, she started only waking up once or twice to nurse and go back to sleep. she also likes to sleep in til around 8ish on the weekends. Have you tried a pacifier? I was totally against it from the moment i found out i was pregnant, but i learned to love it a month into motherhood. My son was drinking bottle after bottle (he never latched, so i pumped :/) to the point where he was throwing up he was so full, turns out he was just trying to soothe. So i gave the paci a try and OMG game changer right there. He weaned himself as soon as he got his first tooth at 9 months. With my daughter i didn’t even think about it, it was paci from day 3 and she is still obsessed with it (i know). Now as a baby she would lose it and cry in the middle of the night, so i tried the wubbanub because it has the little stuffed animal, so she could find it herself and i didnt have to go in and give her the paci and that worked.
Also, one thing i learned while sleep training my son was to turn down the volume on the monitor and just leave the screen on (mine has a sound indicator that goes from green to red if they cry – not that you cant hear it anyway). that way the crying is not as painful coming from the monitor. This helped to not wake up at every little noise they made, because we have this “mommy ears” that we hear every little thing and immediately get up to check. But we all make noise when we sleep, so do babies, doesn’t mean we have to get up and go check.
Just stick to whatever you chose to do for at least a week (i would say 2), and if you dont see any improvements, try a different thing.
hang in there mama!
Oh Ali! I totally feel for you. I have been there. Lack of sleep is so hard and the baby and on us moms. Couple questions for you, when she wakes up can you tell it’s an “I’m hungry cry” or is it just a whining cry that turns into a bigger cry? Also when she eats in the middle of the night is a full feeding or a quick little snack and then back to sleep? I ask because it could be that Molly has developed a habit of waking up at night so that’s why she does it. Not cause she’s actually hungry. If you are going to sleep train I would suggest the Ferber method for cry it out if that’s something you want to do. Cry it out isn’t for every parent or every child but that method worked for both of my girls. I also would suggest having her on a set schedule for wake up, naps, and bed time. Babies need that consistency. If you haven’t read Babywise I highly recommend it. But again that isn’t for everyone. You have to do what you feel comfortable with. Molly is happy and healthy and she will eventually sleep and so will you. You are doing great mama!
I have an almost 6 month old that was going through the same issues right at 5 months.. Waking up multiple times a night just to be held. I started rocking him to sleep or almost asleep and started putting him on his tummy. That seems to be helping a lot, I think since he likes to sleep on my chest; sleeping on his tummy gives him that same pressure on his front side. Now he is almost 6 months old and waking up 1 MAYBE 2 times a night.. Not ideal (I’d love for him to just sleep all night), but it’s a lot better than it was!
I’ve found that giving him a bottle before bed helps him sleep longer too. I will usually breast feed at 6:30-7 then we will play for a little and give him a bath, read a book and then I will give him a 4 oz. bottle or breast milk around 8:30 and he is usually asleep by 9. That will usually tide him over to 3 or 4 in the morning then I breastfeed him and put him back asleep until 7.
Sounds like your doing awesome and she is too adorable for words! I think you are right on and should go with your gut and let her cry it out. You gotta love thumb suckers…it’s amazing! We had to let my son cry it out…the girls were always good…but my son just wanted me, and he definitely didn’t need to eat! ? It always helped me if I looked at my clock and would give myself a time frame. I would let him go 5 min., then if he was still crying I would go in…not pick him up say it’s night, night time give him a pat and leave…then 10 min., go in say nothing maybe readjust him then leave, then 15 min. My Dr. suggested this it lasted 2 nights and we never made it 15 min.! Just another option/plan. As always you are the mom though and you know your baby best! â¤
I think I hit the jackpot because I didn’t have to sleep train for the evenings, Finn sleeps really well, but it’s nap time that’s sometimes a struggle. Bedtime is 8pm and we just put him in an Aden & Anais sleepsack and leave him for the night. Usually wakes at 7am. This has been since 3 months old. He’d make a sleepy cry sound sometimes in the beginning, like fighting sleep, but I’d only go into the room if it’s a full blown cry (hunger, wet diaper). We breastfed during the days and gave a bottle of formula before bed to get him through the night. Now he’s on formula and solids and soothes himself for the most part. A friend recommended Dr Ferber’s sleep training but I didn’t end up reading it. She said her 1st son took 2 days to train, but the 2nd took a week and that was really hard… no one likes a crying baby. She also created a sleep training app to time how long you wait between cries and tracking nights etc. Might be useful. I wish you all the best, and remember this too shall pass. Keep posting Momma topics, we love hearing about you and Molly (and Kevin & Owen)! Could you do a post about Vaccinations?
You are doing the right thing by letting her self soothe at night…putting her down awake and letting her put herself to sleep this is monumental training for when she is older!
We have a five month old little boy and were going through just this! He went from sleeping OK/pretty well, to waking up every 30-60 min because he wanted me to soothe him. He wasn’t eating which told me he was ready for sleep training. I read 12 Hours Sleep by 12 Weeks Old and started on Step 3 as we had already accomplished the other two. While LJP is already 5 mos, it has been working really well the past 5 nights! The first two were rough and there were mommy tears and wine BUT night 5 was awesome. He adapted really well and slept in his own room from 8pm until 7:45am. We only had to go in there once around 7am to pop in the paci so he would calm down a little and he put himself back to sleep. We will celebrate the small wins with one night down! So many positive vibes coming your way for a restful night tonight!
On the sleep sack… we love this one and it’s really helped with his sleeping. That and nighttime diapers. Totally worth the $$! https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B003FVB7SA/ref=br_it_dp_o_nS_ttl?ie=UTF8&colid=18KXV1IO5YHK0&coliid=I35S41NBEAHPGO&vs=1
My son is a bit younger than Molly he will be 5 months next week. He is breastfed and they say that BF babies usually don’t sleep through the night .. and sure enough he does not! I also found that at 4 months he had what I researched as being “sleep regression”, so his pattern of sleep changed and for about a week he was waking up constantly 4-5 times a night. It changed, and now he just wakes up maybe twice.
I find a night routine helps a lot – he’s always in bed at 7pm, and now that he is into puree food I try to feed him a bit before bed to keep him full for longer.
I can’t sleep train him I really don’t have the heart to listen to him crying, but I do let him whine a bit and 5/10 times he whines and babbles himself to sleep..the other times it escalades into a meltdown and I go to him.
Have you thought about possibly putting her crib in your bedroom, at least for the time being? I noticed my 5.5 month old likes to sleep on her side or tummy. She usually goes down at night between 8:30-9:30 and doesn’t wake up until 5-6am. She’s been doing that for a few weeks now. Sometimes I’ll hear her whine bc she can’t roll back on her stomach or her foot/arm get such between the crib rails (lol) but she’s still sleeping. Since she’s right next to me I’ll just roll her over, pop the pacifier in her mouth and she’ll continue sleeping. đ
Hi Ali! My son, Jack, shares the same birthday as Molly! We did the Ferber method at 3.5 months and it was the best thing we’ve ever done. Of course it was SO hard to hear him cry, but by night 5, he slept 8 hours straight. He now sleeps from about 7-7 which is a dream!! My advice is consistency. Make a promise to her that you are going to help her sleep better and then follow through. I’m part of a mommy and me group at the Pump Station in SM and hearing other success stories really helped. Hope this helps you!
Oh and regarding the sleep sack, we use the Halo microfleece sack. Keeps him cozy!
If she can roll, I would eliminate any sleep suits. As of mom of 3 babies (now 11,8, and 4), all of mine slept better once they could roll and sleep on their tummies! Also, I used the book Good Night Sleep Tight for all of mine! In the end, I have learned that most things we transition from are harder on the mom then the baby, sleep training, taking away the pacifier, etc. This will not be your first hurdle! Good luck I hope my mom advices helps.
I had two under two, and it was exausting. But I followed a book recommended by a friend and sometimes my mother said I felt like a sergeant. But I needed sleep for my sanity, everyone said it would get easier and it never did! So I did the following, no lights in the room, same bedtime routine everyday, dinner/cereal at 6, fed them both a full bottle at around 7:30 (pumped or formula) this way I knew exactly how much she was eating and didn’t worry afterwards, did not use anything extra to help her cover (guess what, afterwards your going to have to take that away too.. it forms a habit!) and did not pick her up. Took a couple of days and that did the trick. But any tool or help we add to their routine we are going to have to take away later! This works the same way, now they are 4 & 5, when we transitioned to treir big girl beds I did NOT stay in there with them. They needed to learn to put themselves to sleep and be comfortable with that. We still do hugs, book reading, and prayer.. but I do not lay in their beds, or do anything that they may come to expect everyday. This has made my lofe so much easier, and they will test you. They are still filled with cuddles and love, that just does not mean I have sleep next to their bed! Get ready girl, you can do it!
We do the same routine! My daughter is 9.5 months old now, and sleeps 12-13 hours a night (she started this at 6 months using this). We have dinner at 6pm, calming play, story book, and pumped milk at 730. She’s asleep by 8pm. She does wake at 6am to eat, but then goes back to sleep until 8am. We have the room dark with a white noise machine– however, she does use a lovey. đ
We do the same routine! My daughter is 9.5 months old now, and sleeps 12-13 hours a night (she started this at 6 months using this). We have dinner at 6pm, calming play, story book, and pumped milk at 730. She’s asleep by 8pm. She does wake at 6am to eat, but then goes back to sleep until 8am. We have the room dark with a white noise machine– however, she does use a lovey. đ
I vividly remember this time with my daughter who is 4 now. At 6 months when she was learning to roll over, she was a TERRIBLE sleeper. Waking up every hour it seemed. She was still sleeping in our room, but in a little “side car” bed next to me. At that point, I caved and did the sleep training thing. We put her in her own room, in her crib (she took great naps in her crib so it wasn’t totally new for her) the first night and she cried for 45 min or maybe even more! It was awful. Then the next night it was just as bad, then it got down to 20 min the following night, then 11 min. It took about a week, but we finally got there. She has been an amazing sleeper since. I do think though that whenever they are learning a new skill (like learning to roll over) they digress in their sleep patterns. Looking back, I’m so glad I did the cry it out thing and at 6 months I felt she could totally handle it. You guys will get there!
What I’ve learned about night weaning is to pick a time they normally wake to eat that is a good few hours after bedtime and don’t go to her to feed until that set time. We tried this with my LO and she went from waking two or three times to none in about a week. That told me that she wasn’t really hungry but just needed soothed back to sleep.
Love your honesty and rawness! Being a new mom is so hard!
We started giving our almost 3 month old a bottle of formula (breast milk through the whole day) right before bed and he now he is sleeping for 6 hours straight. We put him down at 8 and then usually around 2 he’s up again. We change his diaper in the dark and feed him again, without talking to him (which was really hard at first), but I read that not engaging helps them realize it’s still time for sleeping. He goes back to bed until 6 or 7 then.
Hi Ali! Our little ones are a week apart and we seem to have similar sleepers so our situations seem pretty close. I exclusively breastfeed as well.
We actually bought a sleep consultant package from babysleepsite.com which was REALLY helpful! They provide a very personalized sleep plan for your child and depending on that you are comfortable with. They can also help you with what to do during teething.
We used the Ferber method of sleep training and have gotten down to 2 night wakings. Currently working on trying to get down to one. : /
We also just cold turkey-ed out of the Merlin suit after sleep training. I didn’t want to change too much during that. Then one night just put him in a halo sleepsack and he slept on his side all night!! He looked so comfortable!
Good luck. It totally sucks and I fear I may never sleep through the night again either. But we will!!!!! I hope. đ
I have a 3.5 month old who sleeps 12 hours a night (9pm-9am) with one night feed at 6am. I credit a lot of it to a good day time nap schedule and the DockATot. I’ve written about how I got her to sleep through the night in this blog post: http://culinarycents.com/featured/how-i-got-my-baby-to-sleep-through-the-night/
Record a video of yourself to yourself when you’re in a good head space reminding you that she’s ok. Our rule? If it’s after 1 am and she’s upset, feed. Before, she’s probably fine. Good luck!
Totally feel your pain! My little one is 5 months old, we parted ways with the Magic Merlin suit as soon as he started rolling both ways consistently, I thought maybe he was waking up because he wanted to roll but the bulky suit was preventing him from doing so. Truthfully, I think the suit helped a bit when transitioning out of the swaddle, but I would read reviews where the suit was “actually magic” and all of these babies were sleeping through the night, but not mine (happened maybe once or twice)! As soon as he started rolling both ways (1-2 weeks before he turned 5 months), we cut the merlin suit cold turkey and put him in a halo sleep sack. To my surprise, he didn’t try rolling until this past Sunday night, and now he’s literally all over his crib and has semi-slept through the night the past two nights (totally just jinxed myself). He’s woken up once at about 3:30am, my husband goes in to put in the paci, and he goes right back to sleep. He’s also been wearing Pampers baby dry 12-hour diapers the last two nights.
We tried a zipadee zip after hearing great things about them (as seen in multiple comments here), but my little one needs his hands free (zipadee covers hands) to grab his paci. I also find them to be a little pricey, especially if you like to keep a spare. But believe me, I totally get the frustration, my little one was waking up anywhere from 2-4 times a night shortly after he hit 4 months. I was reading EVERYTHING on the 4 month sleep regression, but we were already doing everything recommended, not everything works for every baby. However, we noticed when looking at the monitor, when he would cry he would turn his head back to the door like he was looking for us…totally playing us! But that cry! Ugh, it’s the worst! I had to start turning the sound down on the monitor and closing our door. As soon as we started getting tougher, he started eating much better during the day and now that he’s figured out how to change sleeping positions and he knows we won’t tend to him at every cry, he’s sleeping much better. I’m sure we’ll go through another rough patch once the other teeth start coming through and whenever the next “wonder week” is, boy do those turn his world upside down! For reference, we do a similar routine, solids, bath, lotion, nurse, put him down awake by 7pm. The past two nights that he’s semi-slept through the night, he’s been waking up an hour earlier (at 6am), which 11 hours is normal for his age, I’m hoping to get to 7pm-7am though! Good luck, stay strong, and you’re definitely not alone!
WOW, love all the Zipadee-Zip love! If you have any questions about the Zipadee-Zip, Ali-please send me an e-mail to support@sleepingbaby.com. I would love to help! đ
Ali- I love following you and I rarely comment, but I feel you need some support. I have a 9 mo. old and I can relate, sorta. I was determined to get my baby to sleep through the night at 3 months. I got her to sleep through the night at 3 months and 1 week and I haven’t looked back. You should set up schedule during the day for both you and Molly. Babies like schedules, they like routines. Plus, it helps you as a mother realize that babies like patterns. They have patterns in the day and at night. Also, after about 4-6 months, babies do not need to eat in the middle of the night. They might want to, but they don’t need to. Babies also need to learn how to connect their sleep cycles. You need to help her with this by not going in to soothe her. You might try turning off the baby monitor or go outside when she’s crying (try focusing on something else). It’s really not mean, you are helping her. Bringing Up Bebe is an excellent resource. Check it out! I hope you find the strength! Good luck!
Instead of feeding her, maybe offer her water instead. If she not getting milk, maybe it won’t be worth her while to get up. May sound simple and maybe even silly, but I did this with my daughter when she was 6 months old and it seemed to work for me.
Please don’t use white nose anymore. There’s growing research it can be harmful to brain development. Google it. Better yet, pick up the book The Brain’s Way of Changing by Norman Doidge which talks about it.
White *Noise*
Ferber Method! I can’t recommend it enough! We also have a 6 month old (born july 4th!) and she went through a major sleep regression a month ago. After two weeks of getting up every 2 hours we re-read the Ferber Method and after 1 night, she was back to sleeping 11 hours per night. It’s basically a modified cry-it-out method but you check in on her at regular intervals. Don’t pick her up, just let her know you are there and you love her. Our daughter would get more angry and cry harder when I would check in, so it was really hard not to pick her up! but then she would calm down a minute or two once I left the room (still crying sometimes but not as hard). The first night it took 1.5 hours of checkins before she fell asleep, the next night 30 minutes, the next night 5 minutes. Now she sleeps like an angel!
We had also used the Merlin and transitioned her into a sleep sack! There is usually a sleep regression when you transistion so if you are already sleep training – ditch the Merlin now and get it down in one fell swoop! Good luck! It gets better! 11 hours of a sleeping baby is AMAZING!
I’ve had 3 babies and nursed them all for a year. I am definitely not an expert in any area, but I will tell you what worked for me! With my first.. I was told that they need to nurse every so many hours… the first couple nights home with her, I was waking her up to feed her and my mom thought I was crazy! She never cried to eat… even up until we were done nursing. I stopped waking her up and let her wake up to tell me she was ready to eat. She woke up 1-2 times a night till about 8 weeks and never woke up during the night again! My other kids followed suit and are excellent sleepers! I always lay them down and let them put themselves to sleep or let them cry it out, but obviously check on video monitors to make sure they are truly ok! I would say do not feed her at night! She really probably doesn’t need it but she needs to learn that she doesn’t need it! You’ve got to train her at some point that she doesn’t get food during the night or she will continue to wake up wanting it! Good luck! Stay consistent is my best advice! It sucks, but you can do it!
I come from a family of people who swear by sleep training. I’m no different. However I know one size does not fit all so you can take or leave my advice. SLEEP TRAIN!! It’s my personal belief that even though you think you’re going into the room for the baby, it’s more for you. I know, crazy right? All you want is sleep. And your baby is crying! But I think parents do a disservice to their babies by going in with the exception of when the baby is sick or has special needs. You’re going in bc you can’t handle hearing her cry anymore but you’re conditioning her to cry and whine bc she wants to hang out with you. And she knows now by crying she gets what she wants. Molly slept 8 hours a few times. That’s amazing! Guess what, she can still do it. I had an amazing mom’s group leader give our mom’s group advice to not take steps backward after we’ve made them forward. If she’s proven she can go 5 hours don’t go in after 3. We are the ones who create their schedule and condition them to be independent little beings.
My baby boy is 7 1/2 month. He was almost starting to sleep through the night on a regular basis between months 3 and 4. But he ended up having to get heart surgery at 4 months so the whole ordeal completely screwed up his schedule, understandably. He woke up every three hours and needed to feed more bc he couldn’t eat much during his regular feedings. But once we saw he was eating more and we just couldn’t handle the lack of sleep anymore we decided to just let him cry. I heard horror stories from my sister and friends that they once let their baby cry for an hour and a half before they finally put themselves to sleep. I was shocked and didn’t know if I’d be up for it. He started crying at the 3 hr mark and we let him cry. He put himself back to sleep after 10 mins and the rest is history, again with the exception of he’s sick). I think it’s provided him with a lot of confidence in himself and time to just be by himself. Now he’ll wake sowntimes and roll around and look around at his crib and his room and he loves it. Then just goes back to bed.
Again, I’m not saying this works for everyone. It worked for us and all of us sleep better bc of it.
Good luck to you and your husband. Being a new parent is so hard and I think you’re doing great. And Molly is such a cutie.
Been a fan for a long time. Thanks for being so relatable!
People have probably said all of these things already…
We sleep trained at 6.5 months and it SUCKED at first (for me more than my hubby) but it was so worth it. Look for a gradual extinction chart or email me and I’ll send you the one we used. The first night we put our guy down and went in every 2, 4, and 6 min just to rub his back for a minute. The key for me was trading off visits with my husband and being out of ear shot when it wasn’t my turn!!! It took 25 min before he was asleep.
The next night the time between visits got longer and it took 10 min. The 3rd night didn’t even take 5 min. Be consistent and trade off with Kevin.
If she is rolling back to belly, try putting her on her belly for bed. Most babies prefer that!
Hi Ali – you are doing an amazing job. I’m a first time mom as well and tried many things from mommy friends. What worked for us with my little man was transitioning him into a Zipadee Zip when he started to roll over on his tummy. That was so helpful. We did the sleep training as well to help him learn how to soothe himself back to sleep. Our bedtime rountine starts around 6:30 pm for him to be in bed by 7 pm. Bath, read book, nursery songs and put him down. We stayed consistent with telling him his night night time and we will see him in the morning followed by I Love You. It took us about a week and a half with him crying at night and we let him cry it out which some nights it lasted 45 mins but he always goes back down. If you think about it after we have a good cry we are pretty tired. Same for them as well. His cries end up narrowing down as the later nights went on. Now my guy is 19 months and sleeps through the night until 6:30-7 in the morning. Continue to stick to the plan you and Kevin set and stay consistent and you guys will get there. Good luck ?
Hey! So my son hit a sleep regression/growth spurt from 4-7 months and I thought I was going to lose my mind. Finally we let him cry, but the first night waited 5 min, then another 5, then 10 min after that until he went to sleep. We just patted him and walked out. We added time each night. It took 3 nights and he put himself to sleep in like 15 min with no real crying. We basically googled a CIO method we could agree to and stuck to it. If he wakes anytime throughout the night I set the timer to 20 minutes and didn’t go in until then, and repeat after you go to reassure her. He sleeps in a halo sleep sack which serves as his blanket and still does at 19 months. Again, just for warmth. Another thought is we didn’t put him to bed in the 7 o’clock hour until he started sleeping 10-12 hours. His bedtime was like 9-10 and then he’d sleep 7-9 hours in the beginning, and shortly stretched it out. My pediatrician gave me the ok that he didn’t have to eat so around 7.5-8 mos I no longer nursed at night. The sleep training at the beginning of the night cured the nighttime wake ups for the most part but see above to what I did if he woke throughout the night. It stunk but was so worth it to get good sleep habits. Good luck! I feel you.
My daughter was always an awesome eater and sleeper but right around 6-9 months she threw us for a loop and started waking up again. It’s hard, but it passes. Enjoy it while you can. Now I go to bed at night Andy hunk about all the nights she woke up in the middle of the night crying because she needed me. I need her more now at night than she needs me. The sleep is wonderful, but you miss being needed. I promise though… it passes.
I have a 6 month old as well- and were almost getting there with sleep! Got rid of the merlin around 3 months because he just never slept that well. Something i learned from my reading is the difference between sleep training and night weaning (so keep in mind if shes used to nursing at night)- we also have a thumb sucker which happens to be our only saving grace!:)
Omg, it took me so long to scroll to the bottom of this email to type my comment that I question whether you’ll see this. ? But anyway, my son was born on the exact same day as sweet Molly! He is my second born,and we’re also finding it difficult to get him to sleep through the night. It has been super helpful having him start on purees and work up to those three times a day. I have also started ignoring him the first 10-20 min when he wakes up for anything, especially naps during the day when my tolerance for cries is higher. It has helped BIG TIME. He has learned when he cries out for me that it is not urgent, and I will come. But delaying my response time has allowed him to figure it out and actually fall back asleep in some instances. Good luck y’all! I can say from experience, everything is a PHASE! And you will miss it, I won’t go as far to say you’ll long for it, but you might miss it. đ
A lot of 6 month olds still need fed several times a night and I see nothing wrong with that. Or she may just want comfort and know you are there; she needs to be able to count on you and know you will come in and check her if she needs you. Nothing wrong with that either. I did not let my babies cry it out…..I waited till they were ready to go longer periods of sleep on their own. And yes, I had many a sleepless night with 3 kids close in age. But my kids are now in their 30/40s and there wasn’t such a thing as ‘sleep training’. The more I read about it, the more I would say no to it, but that just my opinion. All babies are different and some just take a little longer to develop the longer sleep patterns. And comfort, cuddling and security are important to her, too. She may just need a little more through the night hours. She will be through this stage before you know it.
I have a 9 month old and she sleeps through the night. She might wake up once to cry (usually just for a couple seconds) and then she’s back to sleep. That being said, she has always been a good sleeper from day one, but we did go through a couple sleep regressions. The worst was at 4 months. We barely slept for two weeks and this is when we started researching sleep training. Everyone baby is different so, what works for one may not work for the other, but here’s what we did:
1. Nightly routine… bath, bed time story, bottle with music in the background. We use the rocking chair when feeding her.
2. We lay her down when she’s not completely asleep, but pretty well asleep (if that makes sense).
3. We always have a fan going in her room and a nightlight.
4. Fisher Price Soothe and Sound giraffe (there are different animals)… our daughter loves it… it’s safe to cuddle and she can easily squeeze it to provide soothing music. In the morning she sometimes sits in her crib and plays with her giraffe (she doesn’t cry… we will see her on the monitor playing and talking to her giraffe… totally content). Highly recommend this product ($15, I believe).
5. If she cries then we give her 10 mins (set the alarm). Typically she doesn’t last 10 mins and soothes herself back to sleep. This was hard to do in the beginning. As a mom it is so hard to let your baby cry, but it’s so important for baby to learn to self soothe. It’s important to stick to this so she doesn’t learn that every time she cries you’re good not to come running.
I used to swaddle her when she was a newborn, but she’s very long and she started rolling over at 3-4 weeks (no joke). She didn’t like being restricted so, I’ve always just used sleepers/footed pjs and if it’s cold then I place a blanket from the waist down. I used to have a tendency so do the bounce/sway when feeding her and soothing her to sleep, but I read that this essentially gave her a crutch so, I stopped that and I truly believe that helped her also adapt to self soothing.
I hope the sleep training improves for you and you get some rest soon. I know it’s really hard when you’re not getting enough sleep. Be consistent and keep teaching her to self soothe. It does pay off. Trust me đ
Molly, My daughter who is now 9 months slept through the night at the end of her being 2 months old. Read Giving your night the gift of nightime sleep. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CLKEUVM/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1
I also think you are getting on the right path now but yeah read the book. It’s great. If you got the feeding down, the diapers are not wet and she is not sick, trust me after 1 or 2 nights of crying, she will get it. đ
Ali, no advice here as I’m dealing with something similar with my 7 month old, just commiseration! It’s so hard to function when you’re so sleep deprived day after day but millions of people go through it and come out on the other side, as will we. I found this blog post refreshing and validating: https://www.coffeeandcrumbs.net/blog/2017/1/16/sometimes-babies-dont-sleep?utm_content=bufferc077d&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer. People can offer all kinds of advice and it’s hard not to think you’re doing something wrong, but it’s true that all babies are different and some just aren’t good sleepers. It’s also true that this time is fleeting and although it’s hard to focus on the bright side when you’re bleary-eyed and exhausted, I like the message that it’s a precious time of bonding with your baby. Hope things turn around for you soon. Hang in there!
My daughter Olivia was born 7/11/16 so I’ve been closely following you and Molly’s journey! Olivia goes down at 7pm every night. My favorite book is Baby 411 and when they said I shouldn’t feed her in the middle of the night at about 4 months I stopped and she’s never cried for it since then. They also said at 6 months they can self soothe so I took away her pacifier like they recommended and she never ever has cried for it since I took it away. Sometime she cries in the middle of the night but we use Ferber method and let her cry it out and it never lasts for more than 10 minutes. We sleep through the whole night almost every single night. We’re just consistent in never ever feeding her after she goes to bed except until 7am. She gets her bottle every three hours during the day and eats two meals of solids at 10:30am and 3:30pm. She’s 50th percentile for height weight and head.
Ah man, waking up in the night with a baby is the worst! I seriously never comment on anything, EVER, but I want to help if I can because it is so miserable (and kinda depressing) when you don’t get sleep. I started checking your blog while I was pregnant and my baby is 5 months old now. She has been sleeping through the night since she was 3 months, like 6pm-7am. She is also my 5th baby;) I read healthy sleep habits, happy child when I was desperate with my first (13 years ago!). It helped me a ton, just to understand the kind of schedule they need and have an idea of when bedtime and nap times should be. It seriously only took one night of letting them cry to make a HUGE difference. I won’t go on about every little thing that worked for us, but if you want to ask me anything, please do!
Ali,
My little girl is almost 8 months old and we were facing the same exact thing! You are definitely not alone!!! I do have to say your blog and posts have been such a blessing for me to read! So many times I felt so alone with the sleep struggles we have had and it is so nice to know another new mommy is facing the same things! You are such a great mama!! Keep up the great job!!
I can relate to the lack of sleep. My 3yo still wakes multiple times per night and I have a 6mo old as well. It’s hard. I am anti sleep training but you gotta do what works for you and your baby.
I love Molly’s bows! You gotta check out this etsy page (Splendid Bee). It’s another work at home momma who is AMAZING to work with. She does a lot of custom orders as well.
https://www.etsy.com/shop/SplendidBee
Hope you get some quality sleep soon. And thanks for being always real about the parenting game. đ
Hey Ali! I am not sure if you are still reading comments on this, but I have been thinking of your post in my own sleep-deprived haze for awhile. I have a 3-year-old and a 12-month-old and I haven’t slept through the night in 1.5 weeks thanks to vacation followed by a never-ending run of illnesses. FUN. Anyway, my daughter was an awful sleeper as a baby. We had to sleep train her at 4 months b/c she was up every hour and while things were soooooo much better after that they were never perfect. I have been thinking of a couple things that might help you:
1. When I had my son I was concerned about comparing his sleep to his sister’s (awful) sleep. So I kept asking my pediatrician – what is normal for his age with sleep? She said that all babies are different. Some sleep. Some don’t. That kids are who they are. This advice actually made me feel better because it made me feel like there was nothing I could do or not do to inherently make my kids sleep better. Yes, I sleep trained both to help give them the skills to sleep but at the end of the day, just like people, some kids and babies need and want a lot of sleep to get by and some just don’t (my daughter). Which makes sense because neither my husband nor I require a lot of sleep.
2. My three-year-old girl, the terrible sleeper as a baby, will now get up at night for the following reasons:
-I don’t want to sleep any more
-I don’t know how to go to sleep
-I want to sleep in a new room
-Mommy, can you cuddle with me?
-I need a drink of water (her water is right next to her bed, she can easily get it herself)
-I have to go potty (she wears a pull up to bed and never wakes up for real to pee)
-I want another stuffed animal (she already has approximately 10)
-I lost my blankie
I was thinking how, when she was a baby and couldn’t talk, it would have been so amazing to know why she was getting up. Now that she can verbalize all of these things, 98% of the time she is fine and just choosing not to sleep or trying to manipulate me to play with her or be with her. I wish I had a time machine and could go back to myself three years ago and say, “it is okay that she is crying. She is fine. She is being stubborn (an admirable trait for life, a terrible one for now) and doesn’t like change. But she is FINE.”
I tell you all of this to say, Molly will be great and you are a super Mom who clearly cares and loves her so much and puts her needs before your own. Molly might be one of those kids who has a ton of energy and doesn’t require a lot of sleep to get by! But it is still so worth it to teach her these skills. At the end of the day you are giving her and yourself a gift. When she is 3 and wakes up at 2am to tell you, “Mommy, look at this really funny thing I did with my stuffed animals,” you will laugh to yourself as you tell her that you love her and to go back to bed. Hopefully its going better since you posted this!
Hi Ali! It’s been a few days… Can we get an update? Have you been strong this week?
I have an 8 month old son (first time mom as well) and he still wakes in the middle of the night. It took so long for me to train myself NOT to go in the room, and he now he self-soothes himself back to sleep. Hopefully the past few nights have been better for you!
6 months is too young to start sleep training. Babies that young cry because it’s healthy for them to eat and need comfort in the night. Don’t let the fad of sleep specialists make you assume something needs to be changed.
http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/us_58719d34e4b0eb9e49bfbc4a
My daughter spent the first 7 months in our room next to our bed. In the beginning it was to make nursing easier, then I got super attached to her being right there. At our 4 month check up our Pediatrician recommended we start moving her out of the room, my husband agreed too. I was not ready..5 months…I was not ready, 6 months, I was not ready. 7 months came around and one night I told myself, I have to put her in her room for her own good. She did amazing! I cried, but she was so happy and content. I know that you already moved her out and your probably thinking, why is she talking about this…Point of the matter is, you have to be emotionally ready. I understand that all babies are different. I nursed my baby for 13.5 months. She would wake up in the middle of the night from time to time, but I would never nurse her after 5 months. All doctors have their own views and being that my child was a healthy weight, my doctor did not recommend me feeding her through the night. Don’t take this offensively, but it seems Molly has you trained! You have her in a routine and that is all she knows, its not her fault, she just thinks that she needs to be eating around the clock. You are right, she probably is not even hungry, she just wants you! I know you are reaching out for advice and you are going to get mixed views online (as every child is different.) I think it is important to talk to Molly’s doctor about the issues and listen to her advice, after all you must really trust this doctor right? She/He has known Molly from the beginning, plus not to mention this doctor is going to be a part of Molly’s life for the next 18 years right?
Hi Ali, you may consider this: Molly cries because she wants her Mummy. She is too young to cry “intentionally”, she simply needs your comfort and warmth. She was in your belly for nine months and still needs that feeling of secureness. Breastfeeding is much more than feeding a baby, it gives her the comfort she needs! She is too young to understand that she has to “learn how to sleep”, it just confuses her. Try to put yourself into her ahoes. “Why is Mummy there for me during the day, but not at night, when I need her? I cry and cry, but noone comes? It is dark in the room, I am afraid, where is Mummy to hold me?” She is too young to KNOW that you are just in the next room. Studies show that letting a baby cry releases a huge amount of stress- even if it is just for one minute – and it destroys the deep trust she has in you. This trust is the basis of her self esteem one day. The best thing to do is to not let her cry, but soothe her every single time she needs you and being the most reliable person in her life. This is extremely important in the first year of life. By doing this, it will get so much better because she will build up su much trust and security that she WILL sleep (“I can sleep well because whenever I need my Mom, she will come immediately!”) My daughter is seven months old, just one week older than Molly, and never had to cry at night, and I get enough sleep!!! Of course, to get there, in the first three months she was almost constantly in my arms (she would cry otherwise) and she slept beside me almost every night. Now, I put her in her crib and she sleeps fine, knowing that whenever she needs me, I am right there for her. Does she wake up and cry? Yes, she does, but onle 2-3 times a night and it takes me only a few minutes to get her back to sleep. Of course, there are also rougher nights (teething) where she needs me a lot. I simply take her into my bed in these nights and breastfeed her, and so we sleep well the both of us, all cuddled up đ Don’t ruin her trust in you, Ali!
In regards to transitioning out of baby Merlin, when we did it I read it’s best to give them something for comfort so I gave my little guy a lovey, and he just slept in the sleeveless sleep sack. Took about 2 nights but it worked and it LOVES his lovey and it helps comfort him in the middle of the night now.
Hi! Not sure if you will read this because there are SO many mamas commenting but you cannot just not go in after 7pm. I know some methods advise this but I dont think its fair to a child. They have to know you are there for them. Seriously, pick up a copy of SLEEP EASY. IT’s the best book ever. Super straightforward. I have seen two friends in the last week read it and sleep train their babies in a matter of ONE night. Good luck
I am sorry to state the negative but I feel compelled to share— babies wake in the night to protect themselves. SIDS rates peak from about 2-4 mos of life but is a concern through the first year. Their neurological systems are immature and being near mom is a comfort but also regulates breathing….. From an anthropological standpoint babies being in a separate room is a very new phenomenon.
Hi Ali,
I would feed her in the morning when she wakes up for the at 6.30/7. This creates routine and she will be hungry. Also it is time to introduce a dream feed at around 10.30 pm in the hope that she will last the night. If she wakes before, go into her room, shhh her and give her the dummy. Then when it is 10.30, scoop her up still asleep and feed her then out her back in. You may need to change her first. Some people change afterwards but I found that the feed puts the baby back into deep sleep. You have to be repetitive about this because babies thrive on routine. I understand that you may want to go to bed before this time but it is worth it in the long run because you can eventually phase it out and he will sleep right through. Don’t be disheartened though. Make sure the room is comfortable (19 degrees C) and she has a good feed before you put her to bed. The routine is important too: bath, story (I read the same one each night) with the lights dimmed and then sleep time. I found that my daughters feeding was sometimes sporadic through the night but when routines are implemented, everything else falls into place. Gro bags are excellent and I highly recommend them. I do no like those weird ones where their arms are up etc. I hope this helps x
I would also agree that they wake and so do adults but we fall back to sleep very quickly. Try not to be too focused on the sleep issue
Ah, sleeping! I have three kids and I remember those nightmare nights like it was just yesterday! I can’t see if it was mentioned here before, but has your daughter started on solid food yet? My doctor advised me with my twins that if I gave them cereal (we did baby oatmeal) before bed that it would fill their tummy enough that they would sleep more deeply. And it really did work. Best of luck!!
Hey Ali – you have so many great comments already, but just thought I would add a quick one. I was having a similar issue, my little dude was waking up regularly and I was told by many people that between 6-8 months, kids often learn how to self settle better, and that this is the time period in which they naturally become better sleepers. Every kid is different, but my son slept through for the first time on his 7 month bday! So just wanted to let you know that there is some hope for Molly to naturally learn these skills (along with the great work you’re doing too). We are a month later now, and sleeping through is hit and miss.. He has his 5th tooth coming through, so that can unsettle him, but even on the bad nights he is only up once! So fingers crossed for you that gorgeous little Molly picks up a couple of these skills on her own as well.. Sometimes they surprise you! Good luck, Your Aussie fan x
Hi Ali!
I believe our daughters are a couple days apart! My daughter was born July 3- just shy of the 4th of July!
We went through very similar sleep issues as you. I took her to the doctor because she was up one night, when she was 4 months old , about 6-8 times. The doctor recommended sleep training. We read healthy sleep habits, happy child and pulled parts that we liked. So here’s what works for us and allows my 7 month old to sleep from 730-7am and sometimes 8am !!!!
While we were sleep training we allowed her to cry for 45 min tops for naps. She only made it about 20 min before falling asleep. At night we kept the same routine. Bath, bottle in her room with sound machine on and lights off, and then cuddle for 5 min and place awake in bed. We had a lovey blanket that only stays in her crib so she knows it’s time to soothe. It took her a while but now she loves using the blanket to rub her little face on to fall asleep.
The book warns you that they test to see if you will come back in their room, even after you have successful sleep trained . She tested us twice and it lasted about 3 days where she would wake up and whine but I never went in because she would get herself to sleep. I would have gone in if I thought she was hysterical.
Again, this worked for us and I was desperate. I could talk for hours about what we did because it has worked so well and I just remember needing some sleep so I feel for you! Good luck and keep blogging đ
Has anyone recommended “12 Hours of Sleep by 12 weeks” by Suzy Giordano to you? Super easy read (very short and succinct) and a wonderful resource for sleep training. It’s also very generous because the most it recommends you letting your baby cry is 3-5 minutes. I HIGHLY highly recommend it. It’s been wonderful for me and my 3 month old. I remembering being on the verge of tears when I ordered it online and I saw results immediately once I read it (in a day haha). In her book she says that she has never been unable to successfully train a baby- so it can be done!
Dont sleep train! I do not understand this method. Dont you want your baby to know when she cries mama comes? Isn’t that a good lesson? I know you are tired- I’m a mama too. Pump/bottle feed if you can a bit to let the hubs help overnight, and just cuddle that baby when she wants! Imagine how frustrating to be so upset, and your special person doesn’t come for you! Or, they come stand beside you but Dont make eye contact or speak to you! I wouldn’t accept that kind of treatment from my husband ( or anyone in my life for that matter) so why should I expect my precious innocent baby to?
Remember mama, the days are long but the years are short. You will both sleep again one day đ
Totally agree with you! Wrote a similar comment further up…!
Kathrin
Hi Ali,
you will probably not read this anymore but…I love your blog and I think you are a wonderful mother… so please, if you have a minute, just read this…
Letter From a Sleep-Training Baby
Dear mommy,
I am confused.
I am used to falling asleep in your soft, warm arms. Each night I lay snuggled close to you; close enough to hear your heartbeat, close enough to smell your sweet fragrance. I gaze at your beautiful face as I gently drift off to sleep, safe and secure in your loving embrace. When I awaken with a growling stomach, cold feet or because I need a cuddle, you attend to me quickly and before long I am sound asleep once again.
But this last week has been different.
Each night this week has gone like this. You tucked me up into my cot and kissed me goodnight, turned out the light and left. At first I was confused, wondering where youâd gone. Soon I became scared, and called for you. I called and called for you mummy, but you wouldnât come! I was so sad, mummy. I wanted you so badly. Iâve never felt feelings that strong before. Where did you go?
Eventually you came back! Oh, how happy and relieved I was that you came back! I thought you had left me forever! I reached up to you but you wouldnât pick me up. You wouldnât even look me in the eye. You lay me back down with those soft warm arms, said âshh, itâs night time nowâ and left again.
This happened again, over and over. I screamed for you and after a while, longer each time, you would return but you wouldnât hold me.
After I had screamed a while, I had to stop. My throat hurt so badly. My head was pounding and my tiny tummy was growling. My heart hurt the most, though. I just couldnât understand why you wouldnât come.
After what felt like a lifetime of nights like this, I gave up. You donât come when I scream, and when you do finally come you wonât even look me in the eye, let alone hold my shaking, sobbing little body. The screaming hurt too much to carry on for very long.
I just donât understand, mummy. In the daytime when I fall and bump my head, you pick me up and kiss it better. If I am hungry, you feed me. If I crawl over to you for a cuddle, you read my mind and scoop me up, covering my tiny face with kisses and telling me how special I am and how much you love me. If I need you, you respond to me straight away.
But at night time, when itâs dark and quiet and my night-light casts strange shadows on my wall, you disappear. I can see that youâre tired, mummy, but I love you so much. I just want to be near to you, thatâs all.
Now, at night time, I am quiet. But I still miss you.
From http://www.alternative-mama.com/a-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby/
Love,
Kim
I so agree!!
http://wqad.com/2016/02/01/new-research-ends-age-old-debate-will-you-spoil-your-baby-if-you-pick-it-up-each-time-it-cries/
I am so glad that you talk about the hard, trying times of being a parent. I feel that people all too often only talk about the joys of parenthood and make it seem like it’s all rainbows and butterfly’s. When in reality it is truly the hardest thing you will ever do in your life, and sometimes you just need to vent and get stuff off your chest (or take an uninterrupted nap). And that doesn’t mean you don’t love your child with every fiber of your being, but instead just that some days are hard and the more we talk about those days gives other parents confidence that they aren’t alone and that other people struggle too. Sleep deprivation is no joke ?
Hi Ali,
I had my first baby right around the same time as you – same age as Molly! We had planned to have her in a cosleeper attached to the bed, which we tried for at first… the most sleepless nights ever. Eventually what gave me some sleep? Letting her sleep in the bed with us (very carefully.. look at UK sites for safe bed-sharing tips). When she wakes up to eat (or for comfort), I’m right there.. I barely have to wake up, just nurse her side-lying and we both fall back asleep. I don’t have to get up at all, and therefore can get back to sleep easier. Some nights she wakes up a lot, some nights she only wakes less. Either way, being able to stay in bed, quickly nurse and comfort her has pretty much made nights soooo much better. There is rarely any crying, she wakes up and squirms – I half-wake up and either pat her back to sleep or nurse her back to sleep, and fall back asleep doing it. Sometimes we both only wake up for a minute or less. Of course the sleep is not the same as without a baby in the bed, but it’s far better than having to get up out of bed, or even reach over to the cosleeper (though I think that a cosleeper attached to the bed is the next best option if that makes you feel safer). The earlier I go to bed, the more collective sleep I get.
Sometimes I feel frustrated and another friend with a now 2 year old said – they are only this helpless and dependent on us once. That helps me get through it.
During all this I’ve done a ton of reading about sleep/cosleeping/bedsharing and sleep training. And the more I read the more I see research saying letting babies cry is harmful. That is natural that they want to sleep close, or want comfort, etc etc.
And that babies sleeping alone is a strange phenomena. A new one, as through time with both humans and animals, babies and kids always slept with their mother/parents/family. They can’t do anything else on their own, but for some reason the US pushes it like it’s a skill to learn now, when they are the most helpless and most dependent on their parents. They’re building trust in us and the world!
https://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/
Also now the AAP recommends having babies in your room to a year old.
I sense from your posts you want to hear people tell you to be strict with letting her cry (and you certainly got a ton of people saying that)… but follow your motherly instinct. It hurts us to let them cry alone because we should not let them cry alone. We are designed to comfort them and be close – and they are designed to cry to bring us close. I read many boards with mothers seeing emotional differences between kids they let CIO vs kids they did not, and they are filled with regret… you seem to be a fairly natural mother with breastfeeding and other stuff so I’ve identified with your posts so far, both being first time moms with babies a few days apart! Hope you find a solution with Molly (though I’m hoping you find a natural, intuitive one, not one that goes against parental instincts). Good luck Ali…
Dangers of âCrying It Outâ -Damaging children and their relationships for the longterm.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
And also from what I read here and other places: “giving babies what they need leads to greater independence later”.
Cry It Out â 6 Educated Professionals Who Advise Against It
http://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby-sleep/cry-it-out/
Zipadeezip….sleepingbaby.com
Ahhh this has been our saving grace!! My son is still in his at almost 2yrs old!! Ali you are doing amazing, every single mom on earth has these same questions!! Bottom line is do what is takes to survive!! I even coslept a ton at this age….my son is very peacefully sleeping all night is his crib and has been for almost a year! Just do whatever is takes to catch a few zzzzzz’s!! When this stage got to be to much night after night my husband would get up if he was home!! Don’t be afraid to toss in some ear plugs and put him in charge for a little bit! That was the hardest part for me!!
You do exactly what you feel is right for you and right for your baby. Toss the books, steer clear of the internet sites, and just do what works for you,
I say this as a mother of two horribly sleeping babies. My first baby who is five now, is sleeping soundly in her bed as she does every night. My second baby, who is one is sleeping beside me… because I need to sleep. The books, the well intentioned advice, the gadgets, it’s all too
Much. I just go with the flow. The hours are long , but the time is short. All babies will develop into sleeping humans.
After far too many sleepless nights, I decided to follow Gina Ford’s method of sleep training. She’s a little hard core, so we didn’t follow it to a tee, but even following it loosely, I can honestly say her method worked. With baby #3, we also fell in love with the Little Lotus sleep sack. It regulates your baby’s temperature so they don’t wake up hot/cold which has been pretty awesome bc regardless of how well Gina’s method works, if your baby isn’t comfortable, they’re still going to wake.
Hi Ali,
I feel the same way about ever getting to sleep again. I have actually had dreams where I get to catch up on my sleep lol. My daughter will be 6 months on April 1st and we are having a hard time getting her to sleep through the night. One of our biggest issues is that she doesn’t sleep in the crib for more than an hour. This is only when she is put down in a deep sleep. She sleeps in a swing that we have or a napper. She has never liked flat surfaces from when she was born which is one of the issues with the crib. We bought a wedge which seemed to help but she doesn’t know how to soothe herself to sleep in the crib when she wakes up. She also seems to be teething and doesn’t take the soother for comfort. We have tried to let her cry it out but my husband and I are big softies lol. She also tends to pull on her hair which is also upsetting for us in addition to the crying. One weekend I decided on a Friday night to go cold turkey from the swing but that was extremely frustrating for all of us and she wasn’t sleeping properly. The only sleep she was getting was on me. I’m also guilty of feeding her sometimes just to soothe her to sleep. Anyways we have to figure something out any suggestions? We were thinking of trying to transition her into the playpen and then into the crib.
Thank you for sharing your struggles as a new mom. I think it’s so important to help each other out.
Ali – as an update, what do you guys use now post-Merlin?? My daughter, Harper is just a few weeks younger than Molly – we still use the Merlin because she stillll isn’t rolling but it’s getting tight and hopefully she will eventually roll…. I’m trying to figure out what’s next. I was thinking maybe a sleeveless sleep sack, I don’t want something too heavy/hot as we’re approaching summer. I bought the zipadee zip and used it twice but I don’t think it’s for us – she likes having her hands out. Just curious what you are using now and if you’re happy with it!!
My little angels love to eat my amber bracelet while sleeping. I know it is quite dangerous for kids, so I ordered teeth biting amber bracelet from Amber Hand Made Jewelry (https://amberhandmade.com). Now me and my kid can sleep peacefully..