Hey guys! Many of you have asked for an update on how Molly is sleeping since we completed sleep training. I am super happy to report that she is still sleeping like a champ 11 – 12 hours a night! We completed the sleep training about two weeks ago, and today’s blog post is what we have learned since then.
First, if you haven’t read my first blog post about how we sleep trained Molly you can read that HERE. It’s definitely worth a read and I’ve been so happy and overwhelmed with joy by all the emails I’ve gotten from mom’s all around the world saying how my blog helped them sleep train their own baby! Other emails from moms expressed relief that my blog finally convinced them to hire a sleep coach and just like it was for me, it was life-changing for those mothers too! To all of you that have emailed me, I’m so sorry I haven’t been able to respond to all of you. I’m much better at responding to comments on this blog! But know that I received your emails and I’m so glad your little ones are sleeping better!
Anyway, I’m happy to report that two weeks after we finished our sleep training Molly is still sleeping through the night. In fact, she hasn’t woken up in the middle of the night once since we finished our sleep training. Honestly, it feels like magic! I was so sure that at least once in a while she would wake up in the middle of the night. Especially because she’s actually been sick with a cold for the past two weeks. So I for sure thought she be waking up in the middle of the night because she’s sick. OK maybe saying she hasn’t woken up it’s a little bit misleading. Because all babies wake up at different points throughout the night. All adults wake up at different points (even if you don’t realize it) throughout the night! The difference between waking up & crying and waking up & putting yourself back to sleep is a huge difference! So yes, when Molly was sick, there were times when she did wake up. She woke up coughing and would maybe wine maybe 5 seconds and then put herself right back to sleep. Sleep training her allowed us to teach her to put herself back to sleep instead of crying for mama. What a valuable lesson that is for a little baby to learn! Baby are so smart! And catch on quick!
1. PINK TEE | 2. WHITE JEANS | 3. SNEAKERS | 4. MOLLY’S JOGGERS
Some of you have also emailed me or posted a comment asking about my milk supply since Molly is not nursing through the night anymore. Keeping my supply up has been the one tough thing since Molly has been sleeping so well. Because yes, my supply definitely dipped now that I’m not nursing her throughout the night. On top of that, I got really sick with the stomach flu 10 days ago and didn’t nurse her for a 24 hour at one point because I couldn’t get out of bed. So I guess I’ll never be sure if the not nursing throughout the night or the stomach flu is responsible for my drop in supply. If I had to guess, I would say it’s a combination of both of those things.
I’ve been able to keep breast-feeding Molly but it’s taking a lot of work and I almost gave up at multiple points! I’ve had to do extra pumping sessions when Molly goes to sleep at night (which I’m so OVER doing!) and while waiting for my supply to go back we went through a TON of my frozen stash that I’ve saved up over the last 10 months. There was even one point where I was only pumping maybe 1-2 oz at the most during my pumping sessions (I used to to 6-8oz regularly early in Molly’s life. The last few months it’s been closer to 3-5oz.) and Molly was drinking 5 ounces per pumping session. I would pump when she would eat and as you can see pumping 1-1oz and her drinking 3-5oz was not going to work the long run. I would eventually run out of frozen milk.
At that point I started researching formula and thought I was going to have to start supplementing formula. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with supplementing formula. It’s most important that our babies are fed whether that’s with breast milk or formula! I guess for me, I just had it stuck in my head that I was going to make it to the one year point. And it’s so bizarre because I’ve had all sorts of mommy guilt since I started considering giving formula. I find myself texting my sister or my girlfriends telling them that I might have to start supplementing. I feel like I’m telling them because I want them to tell me it’s OK. I’m seeking their approval. Isn’t that so silly? But mom guilt is a real thing! Kevin keeps telling me that I should be proud of the fact that I’ve nursed her 10 months. And he so right! I should be proud of that because it took a lot of hard work to get here. Anyway, I haven’t given up quite yet! With all my extra pumping sessions and a little bit of determination (and thank goodness for that frozen stash), I’ve been able to get my supply back up. I’m going to do another blog post about this once I actually do stop breast-feeding because there is so much more to the story but I want to focus on sleep training for today’s post.
So back to sleep training…are there downsides to doing it? Kind of, to be honest with you. But the the upsides far surpass the downsides. I would say the one major bummer since we started sleep training is that Molly is on such a rigid schedule that it’s really hard for us to do anything anymore! We are so worried to take her out of her nap routine during the day. Basically because her good long naps are a huge part of the reason why she sleeps through the night now. She used to be a horrible napper. But as soon as we got her naps on track, she started sleeping throughout the night!
This is what her schedule looks like:
6am – Wake up
6:10am – Nurse
7:10am Solids
8:40am – Nap routine starts
8:50am – In crib
9:00am – Nap usually starts.
As you can see the spacing between those things is very tight (we repeat the routine 3 times until bedtime). So we barely have any time to leave and do anything. We don’t want her napping in her car seat because she only naps for 30 minutes when we do that. I heard of mom’s doing sleep training and it working great but then they go out too much during the day and totally throw their baby off their schedule. So we’ve been SO nervous about that happening to us so we never deviate from her schedule. Well actually we did twice her second nap of the day and you know what, she totally slept through the night still! But we haven’t gone out for a full day yet. So maybe that’s just me being crazy and we need to go out and do stuff on the weekends just to see how she naps at night. She might be totally fine! This totally could be a mental thing for me. Once we start going out again on the weekends and doing stuff I will let you know what happens. But ya know what, I will take staying in most weekends over being up ALL night with her ANYDAY!
Any other downside? Nope! Sleep training was and still is the absolute best thing we ever did for Molly (we used Weesleep coaches to train her BTW). She is such a happier baby since she’s been getting good sleep and I really feel like her development has sped up! She still isn’t crawling, and she’ll be 10 months on May 6th. But I honestly don’t think she’s ever going to crawl. Because she’s already walking! She’s not walking on her own yet, but we bought her this baby walker and she just cruises around the house. We put soft bottom shoes on her when we take her outside. In fact, she’s not happy unless she’s walking! She loves it! I really credit her making huge leaps in her development in the last two weeks because she’s sleeping so well.
I hope this blog posts helps answer some of your questions on things I may have left out in the last blog post! And I just wanted to give you guys a general update on how it’s going! Here’s to well rested babies AND parents! Oh and happy Mother’s Day MONTH!!! He he. Read about how Kevin totally already started spoiling me for my first Mother’s Day HERE. And check out my Mother’s Day gift guide HERE.
If you guys have any questions, let me know in the comments below! I was so happy to see all of the conversations on my last sleep training blog post! So many moms out there are helping each other and it makes my heart feel all warm and fuzzy inside that my blog is serving as a community for moms to get together and learn from each other! Love you guys!
UPDATE: Adding the newest episode of my digital talk show Love Buzz in case you guys want to check it out! It would mean sooo much to me if you would watch!
Thanks for being so honest about this process! Along with the breastfeeding, mom guilt for sure if real, but you know you’re doing the best you can for your child in whatever fashion that is 🙂 And that’s going to change month to month, day to day…and minute by minute honestly haha. Thanks again for thoughtful insights on topics a lot of bloggers stray from!
Thank you for reading!
Yes I read your first blog I’m in the stage of getting my 1 year old to sleep thru the night I got down the putting her down the same way you do I just need to change a couple of things but she wakes up crying sometimes I let her cry & yes I do go in & pick her up?! But I’m still nursing cause I don’t want to give her milk so I like to hear you theory on what to give her after she turns 1 if you plan on still nursing or transferring her to whole milk?
Hi Ali! So happy that Molly is sleeping well – and you are, too! One thought for your currently diminished milk supply (and this totally gets TMI) but at around 10 months (of exclusively breastfeeding and purred solids only), I got my period back and the weeks leading up to this and a couple weeks afterwards, I totally thought that I would have to supplement, which I really didn’t want to do. I BF my first son to 19 months (by then his diet was lots of small bite foods, cow’s milk for the added DBA and BF) and I had hoped to do the same for my 2nd son…. and then the drought started! I have a gf who is a lactation consultant and she recommended I let him nurse more often sporadically for a week or two (and I’m a schedule momma usually! No pulling on momma’s shirt – he knows when he gets milk!) just to encourage my body to amp up milk production. She also recommended I start drinking as much water as possible by carrying a water bottle around the house… and of course, when pumping, to imagine holding my sweet baby boy. Just thinking about them is supposed to help. The great news is that after a couple weeks, my body settled down from having my period back and my milk production was back to normal. He’s 20 months now and he still nurses in the morning and before bed! You’ve got this! Keep it up! (Oh and my friend’s lactation consultanting Instagram is full of really useful tips, tricks and the latest must have equipment! It’s worth checking out – she always has the best advice and she answers questions in the comments! @milksprouts This wasn’t meant to be a plug for her, but I’ve found great women don’t hesitate to share the great resources we find!) Good luck!
I got mine back at 4 month PP. But it didn’t affect my supply luckily. I’ll check out your friend! Thanks!
I’d relax about the milk supply. It’s a natural progression of your supply decreasing because she is eating more table foods. I have nursed all three of my kids well over one year, but of course they are getting increasingly more solid food, so don’t NEED as much milk. It’s a healthy milestone to celebrate. You don’t NEED as much milk as you had before when it was her only sustenance. Be grateful!
Babies that sleep through the night will get off their schedule during the day sometime, and then just sleep at night. It’s not like you going out during the day is going to UNteach her everything she learned. You’ll have days you stick to your schedule and days you don’t. But now she knows how to sleep and self-soothe and will use it whenever. It’s not like her memory is gone. Go out. Enjoy your life. Remember YOU are the parent and make decisions, and thankfully, she knows how to sleep now. I have 3 kids and one on the way. It all works.
Thank you! I really needed to here this. Ali, your tips in your blog post really helped us! We actually are in the process of sleep training and it has worked well for us. I too get overwhelmed and a little stressed when we have to deviate from being home. Can you describe your nap routine, please? I know you said it was the same as bed time except no bath. Does that mean you read her stories and then give her her lovey before putting her down? Thank you! You’re doing great momma!
Oops – it’s EXACT same as the bedtime routine except I DON’T nurse and no bath.
Loving this article. My little is 9 months. For naps do you do check ins? My little one only likes to sleep 30 mins-60 mins!
Great, thank you for your response Ali! One more question, I know for you you said that Molly took two hour naps the first day of sleep training. My girl took 3 30 minute naps instead, but by the next day was taking two two hour naps. That lasted a few days and since yesterday she is back to 30-45 minute naps. Did they make any suggestions for extending the nap if they do wake up too quickly or will it just vary? Thank you!
Totally agree with this comment. Once they start eating solids, they will naturally nurse less. They sometimes also lose interest because they’d rather be down on the floor playing. This is especially true with a second child, my son wanted to be playing with his Daddy & brother.
I disagree that it is a valuable lesson for a little baby to learn. Teaching a baby to not need their caregiver so young has proven psychological effects. It hurts my heart to hear people say they need to learn how to self soothe. They are scared and vulnerable.
I’m sorry but having a child and mother so so sleep deprived is what’s so unhealthy. Before I sleep trained I was up every 1-2 hours throughout the night and naps were 40 minutes max so no sleep for me ever. A lot of nights I slept 2-3 hours total (and those weren’t consecutive either) I can’t even begin to explain what all this was doing to my body and then on top of all that my son was so grumpy all the time from being so sleep deprived. There aren’t physcological affects, do your research before you post stuff like this please.
Agreed! Ridiculous. Very true on the research as well. I’m a happy, sometimes tired mom of 3 happy and healthy little ones. Speech-language pathogist with background in child development and family counseling. Also exclusive breastfeeder for all 3, so I understand how that effects sleep. I’ve never sleep trained… I have night weaned when I felt they were ready, which helps. They sleep eventually.
I’m usually one to say “do what works for you and your family” and for those who choose a form of sleep training, each to their own, but when it’s a self appointed expert talking about how her sick 10 month old whined for 5 minutes after waking up coughing and she’s so proud her baby learned a life skill to soothe her darn self ??♀️ … /semantics / this mom has been brainwashed when tired by “sleep trainer expert”/… um,it’s because you’ve trained her that no one is coming! Even when she’s not feeling well. It’s sad. Of course she seems fine the next day. What choice does she have.
Love the fashion updates & pretty photos but this is walking a fine line.
Ali never said she was an expert and for someone who usually says “do what works for you and your family,” you’re laying on the mom guilt very thick.
Ali and countless other moms, myself included, are doing what we feel is best to stay sane in caring for and loving our little ones. If that means sleep training in order to be a happier, more alert, more present mom, then that certainly seems worth it to me. Shame on you for passing judgment. Take your righteousness elsewhere.
Ali, you’re doing a great job!
Also, She did not say she let her whine for 5 minutes when she woke up coughing. She said 5 seconds. Sleep Training was the BEST thing we ever did for our son. And he doesn’t think hes unloved, uncared for or anything like that. He cries when hes hurt and he knows momma or dad will pick him up and console him. When he has unusual nights and wakes up crying and we can clearly tell something is wrong we go in and check on him.
Where do you get Molly’s headbands? My daughter has a lot of hair, not sure if she’ll wear those cute headbands tho. i often put tiny soft bows in her hair but theyre hard to find and i want more colors/styles!
I get them form a bunch of places. Mostly ETSY shops!
Ali, check out funnygirldesigns.com. Headbands galour!
Hi there! We started sleep training with Wee Sleep with our little dude due to your success. Thank you for that.
Quick question… did Molly seem a little melancholy or not herself for the first few days after starting the 10 days? August hasn’t seemed himself and it’s bumming me out.
Awww sorry to hear this. Molly was actually much happier the VERY first day!
My LO was definitely lethargic the first day or two after ST. Our sleep consultant said it was pretty normal being that the baby was pretty sleep deprived before we started. It makes sense–I know I’m always more tired the more sleep I get! By day 3, he was back to normal.
Listen to your instincts, mama. Trust your gut. I hate that many tired new moms have read these posts by a new mom fashion blogger and decide that’s what they should do, because some children are more sensitive than others. There isn’t a one fits all recipe. Be cautious of who calls themselves experts. All babies are resilient, but whether or not “training” is good for them is an ongoing debate for a reason. Studies have shown high levels of stress hormones in some babies who are left to figure it out for themselves during infancy. They won’t remember but it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Training is exactly what it means. Training the babe that you’re not coming. It will get better. It goes so fast and even without training, they will sleep and you will enjoy and wonder how it went by so fast… then maybe want to do it all over again:)
Trust that your body is adjusting for how Molly is nursing now! My Daughter is about a month younger than Molly and usually sleeps through the night, sometimes up once. I’ve exclusively breastfed too, and actually she hasn’t even had a bottle ?. I worry about my supply often, and at times would cause me terrible anxiety. I notice when I’m ovulating or have my period my supply dips, but I drink nursing tea/eat oatmeal and know that it goes back up. I’ve also had stomach flu but somehow I was able to nurse through, but again supply temporarily dipped. It’s hard not to stress about it, we never truly know how much is in there! I’ve never been a big pumper.. although I do have frozen milk. My goal is to not have to introduce formula,(a year) and thinking I may upsets me so I totally get it. We are all doing a great job! Sometimes we need other people to tell us that (even though you may not believe it) 🙂
Be proud of yourself for breast feeding for so long… I tried and when breast feeding didn’t work out, pumped but never enough since the beginning and had to supplement. As of several weeks ago (at 6 months) weaned from pumping. It was butter sweet, my original goal was 3 months. I would have stuck to it if maybe I got more ounces. You never realize how much pumping takes out of your day till you stop. The extra free time has been nice.
Hi Ali! My little guy was born in May of last year, so I feel like I’ve been going through a lot of the FTM stuff with you as you post!
My biggest problem is that my baby goes to daycare during the day and doesn’t nap very well there – like you said about Molly previously, he only takes 45 minute naps most days!
Do you think sleep training would work at night, even if I can’t control anything during the daytime? He doesn’t go down easy at bedtime anymore, and he wakes up crying in the middle of the night.
I think it could! But I would DEFINITELY get the help of s sleep coach who I’m SURE has a solution for this. I just don’t know it since Molly doesn’t go to daycare yet
My son takes 2 naps during the day, one 1 hour nap and one 2 hour nap at the same time When he is ar home. He is at day care four days a week. At daycare his naps are all over the place sometimes just 1 one hour nap and he still sleeps through the night. I had my son a few days after Ali had Molly and have been following her blog. Sleep trained him after I read her post about it and he has been sleeping 12 hours the past 2 weeks! Even with the inconsistent schedule at daycare.
Hi Ali,
My baby girl will be 3 months on Wednesday and I am stressed out about sleep training. I still have a few months but I want to be a good mother and do the best I can for a smooth transition. Your experience is very helpful. Thanks for sharing! And one more thing, your blog is awesome!
Thanks Sarah!
My husband and I always made sure our 10 month old was awake after her last bottle when we laid her down. She would go to sleep after a few minutes of playing. She would wake up a minimum of 1 time, but sometimes 2-3. We started giving her water in the middle of the night instead of formula hoping she would increase the amount of food she would eat during the day. After reading your blog, we made one adjustment. We made sure to give her her last bottle with the lights on and lay her down with her bedroom lights on. In the last 2 weeks she has only woke up one time where she “needed” a bottle in the middle of the night. ? She now sleeps from 7:30 (give or take) until 7. It’s amazing. All the praise hands. ?????? I would definitely say the key is enough sleep during the day! Over tired = all bad things. Thanks for your help! Now I need one of those hats Molly was wearing this morning! I have a 10 month old that refuses to crawl and will probably go straight to walking as well!
I’m currently pumping as I read this post! My Son is a week older than Molly and i also have it in my head that I’ll make it to a year but have wanted to quit MANY times. I had the same hesitation and guilt about formula. It’s totally normal. I’m proud that I haven’t had to supplement yet. I keep telling myself that at this point I only have two months left and he’s eating sooo much less than he used to (since he’s eating solids) that I can make it. But we’ll see. It’s nice knowing other people struggle with the same stuff!
Thank you for sharing because it helps me to know I’m not alone too!
Hi Ali,
Thanks for the update. I’ve been struggling with the CIO. We let her go for 15 minutes the other night and she just got more and more upset. There were no 10 seconds+ of self soothing. Do we need to go longer? Go in and rub her back? That seems to upset her more!
And I totally get the mommy guilt!! She’s 11 months now and my supply is dipping! I do not want to use formula but may have to supplement with whole milk (ped. said it was fine to start at 11 months) while I’m at work. I just had my heart set on EBF for the first year. Maybe I can make it!! Fingers crossed!
Oh and my little miss didn’t crawl until just after 10 months!! She’ll get there!
Hi Em! I’m currently sleep training also.. I’ve noticed the exact same thing as you. When I go in to soothe her she gets more upset. I tried putting her down 10 minutes earlier and it has really helped for us! Speak to your consultant, mine agreed and said to try a bit earlier. Also I noticed that topping my daughter up with food made a huge difference. I feed her an ounce or two more than I usually would and it has really helped us. Keep up the good work! You got this!!
Wow! I feel like I could have written this myself!! Once we started our method of sleep training.. we were scared to leave our house for the same reason, she would only nap for 30 short minutes in the car seat!! Now at 20 months, she’s the same.. only gives me a good nap in her crib but we work with it!
Good job mama!!! You’re doing a great job with your little girl!
We have a 6 month (almost 7 month) old boy and we just started moving him back to his bassinet. Early on we moved him into bed with us so Mama can get more sleep, but now we are trying to get him back to his bassinet. It has been hard. He’s used to having me right there and even though the bassinet is right next to the bed he still gets mad and wants to be with us… So, we are working on that. Once he’s been in his bassinet for a bit and things have been going well we will move him to his nursery (in his crib) and start the sleep training. We want to do things slowly. As far as the napping goes, that’s a hard one to keep track of. We are both working, so he goes to daycare Monday-Friday. So, he’s not on a rigid napping schedule and not sure how to get him on one. We’ll see if it affects the sleep training. It’s all a work in progress… Haha.
Thank you so much for sharing! We have been “sleep training” our almost 10 month old since he was 4 months and clearly haven’t been consistent enough for it to work. He still wakes up 2-3 times a night. I’m about to lose my mind! We did hire a sleep consultant from Baby Sleep Site and I just sent her another email explaining your success and approach to see if she can tailor one for us that is similar. I’m ready to SLEEP!!!!!! Lawd help me! 🙂
Hey Ali!
Thanks so much for being so honest with your troubles with Molly’s sleep and breastfeeding. I think my husband even thanks you because you’ve kept me sane! My daughter turned 7 months today and is/has been on the same paths as Molly with sleep and development. But I’m starting to try your sleep training advice and trying not to go out during the day(she won’t nap in her crib) so that’s my next task as for the past week she’s only waken once at night and has self soothed a few times back to sleep.
Thanks again! I love your blog! Enjoy the rest of your day!
Hi Amanda! It means so much to me that my blog has helped you. Thank you for sharing that with me! I glad things are starting to get better for you!
Your baby won’t nap in the crib either?! My 9 month old sleeps like a rockstar in his crib at night but for some reason REFUSES to nap in there!!!
It’s totally normal for your supply to regulate around 9 months with starting solids and sleeping much better at night. I am still nursing my 9 month old and I started my first period since having her which I noticed another dip in my supply! We can do it! Keep it up 🙂
Totally. My issue right now she she still wants to nurse for a long time even though shes getting a lot of solids! I think that’s because shes been sick though. Sick = wanting more milk.
Yes! My daughter also. I work part time so when I’m one she’s on me constantly. Especially when she’s teething she could nurse all day!
I breastfed all 3 of my girls for 2yrs. Two of my girls even after a year liked to nurse for a long time. I think it’s just a comfort, cuddle with mommy time. At times it felt like a pain or they shouldn’t be nursing that long but trust me it doesn’t last forever ? Mine are tweens and teens & I miss it!!!
H!
I’m wondering how long does she nap for now and what time do you put her to bed?
We are in the process of doing this as well. And our program stresses getting them to take longer naps is one big key to night time sleep, so we are trying to stretch his out.
She usually naps 1:15 hours. But sometimes we get 2-2.5 hours out of her. Just depends. And she goes to bed 3 hours AFTER she wakes up from her 2nd nap. Always between 6-7pm
So does she do 2 or 3 naps a day? We do 2-3 hours after he wakes up and then 3 hours from the time he wakes from morning nap. We only do 2 naps and bedtime at 7:30. I’ve been trying to get him to bed earlier.
I’ve read all your sleep training blogs and I am happy to hear Molly is sleeping. BUT, I think it is important for your readers to know that all the information you received from the “sleep consultant” can be found in books. And I put sleep consultants in quotes since in Canada there is no governing body, no regulations, for people to call themselves sleep consultants. If you look at joining the Weesleep team, it is a business model, just like getting a real estate license ,except that is highly regulated. ANY ONE, can start advertising as a certified sleep consultant and who is to say they aren’t? They certified themselves.
Instead of paying hundreds of dollars, a tired parent can read Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by DR. Marc Weissbluth or Sleeping Through the Night by DR. Jodi Mindell. I emphasized that both of these authors are doctors who are thoroughly studied sleep and children. They are the true experts. I get it, nobody wants to read. Everyone wants a quick fix, but an aware parent means constantly reading (not just the internet) and constantly growing in their methodology to parent the best for their child.
Sleep consultants provide moral support and coaching which books do not.
Thanks for your opinion but I have read EVERY book and follwing them NEVER worked for me because there were too many one-off scenarios and I needed to have my sleep coach answer. And like Brittany said, I need the moral support of sometime experience telling me that what I was doing was OK. I LOVED using Weesleep and I couldn’t recommend them more. That’s my experience so I’m sharing it 🙂
We were the same way with our 8.5 month old. I had read every blog out there and my baby was still waking up 1-2 times a night and only taking 30 minute naps. We contacted weesleep after Reading your blog and now after starting the program she is sleeping through the night and taking 2 naps a day totaling 3-3.5 hours. It was just little things that we changed to get her sleeping as she should. Thanks Ali for your recommendation! We have been very happy so far!
Thank you for sharing your story Ali. Your daughter is beautiful. Just wondering where did you buy that little helmet hat that she wears when she is using her walker? I have a 9month old and we need that in our lives lol 🙂
I got it on Amazon!
Great post Ali! We slept trained our twins with WeeSleep and it has been the best things for our family. Keeping the nap schedule and early bedtime can be hard. We found that as long as we were doing least 1 nap a day at home and not trying to go out and skip too many crib naps in a row, night sleep would still be good. A few late bedtimes and short naps have caused night wakings so we try and be selective!
Love reading your blog. I am also a new mom and some of the tips you have given have helped me. I have an eight month old and am a new mom as well. Keep up the good work Ali!
Hi Ali,
Thanks so much for writing these blogs! Gives me hope for the future that sleep will be possible again! (My daughter is 4 months old now).
Just wondering what the differences are between Molly’s nap routine and bedtime routine?
Thanks so much 🙂
Thanks for addressing the breast milk supply topic! I can’t wait to read your blog post about that. I have a 6 month old that is sleep great (thanks to sleep training at 3 months) but I am up every night to pump to keep my supply up! I am EXHAUSTED but she is exclusively breastfed so I want to try and keep it that way if possible. I was considering sleeping through the night myself soon but right now I feel like I’ll be up in the night until she is a year (also my goal to breastfeed a year). Love all your updates! Thanks for being so honest and sharing your life!
My daughter will be 9 months on May 9 and still isn’t crawling either! We have that same walker as well and she loves to walk! I read some articles that because babies sleep on their backs all the time now that a lot of babies aren’t crawling. When they slept on their stomachs they developed those muscles differently making crawling more of a natural progession. I found it interesting so I thought I would share!
You are TOTALLY fine to go out… even if it messes with her nap time… I promise! Your baby may not sleep as much during the day, but she will definitely sleep at night. The reason? Because you TRAINED her on how to go to sleep without all the fanfare anymore. ? That’s the beauty of sleep training! Obviously, you wouldn’t want to do too many days of short naps, but you can definitely live your life and she will be just fine! And if she’s fussy since she didn’t take her naps, you can even put her to bed a little early if needed. It won’t cause her to wake up earlier. I’m a momma of a 14 month old and a 2 month old and getting my second baby on a sleep schedule is super important to me. A sleeping baby = a happy momma and daddy! Good luck, but seriously go out and enjoy your days and enjoy the fruits of your labor at night!!!
A well-rested baby on a schedule is definitely inconvenient, but it’s temporary. We still have babysitters comment about how well our kids go to bed, and they are 6 and 8! We had a few years where it was tough to be out and about but I’ve never regretted it. Stick with it–the long-term benefits far outweigh the short-term inconvenience. And when people criticize because you stick to the schedule, just remind yourself that they also won’t be around when your baby’s sleep is all outta whack. So their thoughts and opinions don’t count unless they want to rock a baby at 3am. ?
Can’t agree more! Sometimes I feel like others judge me because keeping my son on a schedule is super important to me. But it’s important to me because it’s so beneficial for him and for me and my husband. I always say the same thing — they won’t be the ones up at 3am with us! Babysitters also say how “easy” bedtime is with him. It’s because of all the hard work we put in!
Ali, they’re all in Canada. Did you use a wee sleep consultant virtually?
Yes, I did it with my coach all over the phone and email. I wouldn’t want someone coming to my house. I’m weird about that.
Hi Ali
I feel the same about some people coming to my house. (No offence to WeeSleep)
It’s not weird at all or maybe I’m a bit weird, too. ?
If you wrote a book about your experiences being a new Mom i’m sure it would be a best seller!
I’m glad Miss Molly is sleeping better. Babies look so adorable when they’re asleep.
Hey Ali!!!
Thank you for your posts about sleep training they have helped me and my little one who is 7 and 1/2 months sleep so much better! We did have a hiccup last night because he woke up at 0330 after sleeping for 8 hours and cried for 20 minutes I felt he was hungry so I gave in and fed him! We were out all day long and didn’t stick to his nap schedule so I am not sure if that was a factor or not? Otherwise all has been good and we will continue to see what he does! But thank you!
Hi Ali!
I read your first sleep post a few weeks ago and have tried the adjustments, but admittedly haven’t been able to stick to it yet due to my sister’s wedding and a few other big things that I knew would hinder starting it. Now that I think I am able to really stick to starting I do have a question for you.
Does Molly, or has she ever, slept with a pacifier? My husband has been having to go in to my 5 month old sons room sometimes more than once during the night to put his pacifier back in. He will go right back to sleep if we do this, so I know he’s not hungry at those times. But it’s still frustrating to be awake at those times to do that! So I was wondering if you had any experience with that?
She never took a pacifier so I have no tips for that. Sorry!
I’m currently doing sleep training through WeeSleep and we had to eliminate the pacifier completely from night 1! Apparently it causes them to not sleep as well. Without their pacifier, their quality of sleep is way better! Pacifier can cause early wakings according to the consultant. The first night and 1st day of naps were hard but she’s getting better without it!!
Baby #3 is 6 months old today. I was able to have a tight schedule with the other two and we never missed naps, but unfortunately with a almost seven and four year old now it’s a different ballgame. Between two carpool lines, soccer, tball, and church activities with the older siblings our sweet little caboose lives in his carseat. It makes scheduled naps in the crib impossible some days. Hoping things will calm down during the summer and we can get a better schedule. I’m a firm believer good naps equal great sleep at night. Definitely was true for my older two! Time goes by way too fast!
This is such a good point. First time moms obsess on sleep and routines… I did too. People make a living off of it. Then, you see how fast it all goes and you just do your best. The schedules and home naps in a real family with more than one or two kids, just isn’t possible. My third (8 months) is on the go because of the other two and while her nighttime sleep isn’t perfect, she’s happy, thriving and ahead of the curve without any sleep obsessing! It will all be okay.
Thank you for being so honest! I did the same thing when switching to formula like I think I give myself the MOST mom guilt out of everyone. Why is that?! seeking approval from friends and family like ‘is this okay?! ‘ but it is. I nursed for 5 months and was super sad when my supply just dropped and I would pump and get like .5-1oz so not worth all the hard work and tears! But my little girl adjusted fine so I’m sure you’ll find the right time for you to supplement or stop all together but 10 months is amazing!! Good job!!
You should be so proud for nursing her as long as you have. It’s a great accomplishment! You have already given her such a gift and just do whatever is best for you. A happy Mama equals a happy baby. I had problems breastfeeding and ended up exclusively pumping. I finally weaned from the pump about a week ago, when my son turned 6 months old, because going back to work made my supply drop so quickly. It was so bittersweet and I definitely had so much mom guilt (first for not being able to nurse and then again when I stopped pumping). But we should celebrate our successes thus far! (I know, easier said than done) I also want to add that your sleep training blog is what gave me my final push to sleep train and after one night my son slept through the night for the first time ever in his 6 months of life! So far, he’s done it every night since. Hallelujah!
I supplemented with formula from 9-12 months for the same reasons you outlined. I still nursed, but made sure my son was getting enough with a little bit of formula at night, and OMG the mom guilt is real. I did eat a lot of lactation supporting foods though during that time (popcorn, oatmeal, beer) The wave of both relief and sadness I felt with that first bottle was hard. BUT, I quit pumping at 12 months hoping he’d wean, and he ended up nursing on his own until 17 months. Which was not in my plan at all, but the little bit I was producing was all he needed at that point, and is totally the reason his immune system is so great these days. Last week my husband and I both got Norovirus and the baby (now 2) was totally fine. So don’t feel bad – supplementing doesn’t mean you have to quit. Nursing for 10 months is something to be so proud of!
Hi Ali! I have to say, I totally enjoy your posts, your blog is awesome and what I took away from your 1st sleep training post has made wonders in my life!!! I too need moral support when I’m doing something with my child, (1st time mom here also)… the day you posted about sleep training, that night I just did it with my lil one, she will be 9 months next week… i too have a much happier baby and her development has improved soooooo much!!! Thank you for your posts!! Sorry I was ranting a lil, but I’m so excited for sleep training and how it has changed the WHOLE vibe in our household 🙂
I feel like a crazy person responding on a blog to a person I do not know but we had our first babies so close together (my daughter is 14 months and a KickeePants obsessed baby as well!) that I have watched Molly grow with such joy that I weirdly feel like she’s a friend of my little girl’s!
When you had trouble with her sleeping I was desperate to reach out and encourage you about sleep training but my husband talked me out of it so I would not seem like a stalker. That said, I am overjoyed that you are finally getting your much-needed sleep! Molly’s rest is key but so is yours!
So despite looking like a crazy person, I could not help but comment and leave you a virtual hug and some encouragement about schedules. The great thing about a baby who is on a strict schedule is that once they’re really on it and well-rested, they are incredibly resilient. In other words, if you are out and about on a weekend, and miss a nap, are late for a nap, etc., she will barely miss a beat. It will astound you! So do not feel trapped. The pay-off for this kind of discipline on your part is so worth it. I promise it only gets better from here! Mine is now on a 2 nap schedule and she is a DELIGHT b/c she is so well-rested. Sleeps 12 hours a night and puts herself to sleep in seconds. It’s a special kind of magic and we are grateful!
Good luck to you, Mama. I appreciate your vulnerability on this blog and on social media. You are such fun to follow & Molly is a joy to see show up in my Instagram feed.
What size shirt are you wearing?
I had a similar drop in supply recently due to my 9mth old sleeping more (hurray!) and a stomach bug as well. I also went through most of my freezer stash and worried about not making it the full year (despite knowing she’d be fine with some formula). I just wanted to let you know our ped said at this point we could just give her milk and dairy products as a supplement which I thought was a great/easy option!
Ali, thank you so much for writing your posts about the sleep training. I have my third child who is 7 months and has really struggled with sleeping through the night. We did not sleep train our other 2 children as I had a pre-conceived notion of what that was and felt like it would be something “mean” I would be doing. With the third, we were actually told by our Doctor it would be a good idea to do and then within days of that, I came across your blog. It finally gave me the motivation to try it. SOOOOO happy we did! We got him sleeping through the night by night 4 and has been great since then. It has made our whole family happier and our little guy has been so much happier too! Thanks again for showing us how positive sleep training can be!
Hey Ali!
I loved reading your blog about sleep training. So many good tips. Thanks for being honest and sharing some of your vulnerabilities. We are all doing our best. I like what one comment said that you may not be able to control the schedule every day in the daytime, but at least the baby now has the skills to self soothe and put herself back to sleep in the nighttime!
My question is, when do you find time to work out? Has sleep training affected your exercise routine at all?
Hi Ali!
Thanks so much for your blogs and info- it’s so helpful! I’m wondering how you approached Molly’s naps? We’ve been working with our little guy (~10.5 months) sleep training throughout the night which is going very well, but he will NOT nap in his crib- only on us….which presents difficult as he goes to daycare! Did you approach napping the same way that you did the sleep training?
Thank you <3 <3
Tara
Hi Ali! Thank you for always posting about things that I’m wondering about and struggling with myself. I’m a first time mom and my daughter is 6.5 months old. We sleep trained her at 4 months and she’s been a great sleeper (I’m knocking on a big piece of wood here, because I’m always terrified when I say it out loud that something will change!). Her schedule is now pretty rigid as she naps every two hours, and now that she’s older, she doesn’t sleep long in the car, so it’s been making the idea of going out during the day a bit stressful. When she’s missed naps or they get delayed, she becomes a completely different little person, so I’m trying to figure out my plan for when the nice weather arrives, as I want to be out enjoying the warmth while it’s here.
I struggled with breastfeeding in the beginning and had to supplement with some formula for about a month while pumping and increasing my supply. I now exclusively pump, which I’ve been doing since she was just over a month old, and have quite a bit stashed in the freezer. It makes for quite the routine during the day and can be time consuming and exhausting, especially if I’m pumping while she’s napping and don’t get any rest, but I’m a good multitasker and even while pumping, I sit beside her and play, make breakfast, etc. There have been times where I’ve wanted to give up, but I figure I’ve made it this far, why not continue for a few more months, and if I were to stop tomorrow, I’d be really proud of how long I was able to do this routine for. I’m struggling a bit with feeding her the bottle right now when we’re not at home. She seems to not want to eat when we’re outside of our house and away from her comfy environment. I think I’m just going to have to deal with the fussiness and get her used to being out for some meals, so I don’t feel trapped at our house. She’s always such a happy baby, so dealing with the fussiness when we’re out has been a bit hard, but I’m trying my best to get through it.
My supply dipped quite a bit when I got sick, so I used some of my frozen milk, and started taking Fenugreek, as recommended by my lactation consultant and doctor. The increase that came with taking it was unbelievable. Once my supply came back up, I stopped taking the supplement and haven’t had an issue since.
I look forward to reading more about your experience and what works for you and Molly.
Ali you should do a blog post on breastfeeding/pumping. I have a 2 month old and I just came back to work and started pumping, I dont want my milk supply to diminish
Was hearing her cry tough? I tried your tips and was beside him the whole time- yer my boy reached for me and sad cried. I just can’t do it 🙁 so many failed attempts.
I wanted to ask this too. I’m about to start sleep training again, this time with We Sleep.
I had to stop a few weeks ago as the crying was so hard on me. We tried for close to 2 months.
How did you deal with the pain of hearing her cry?
Ali, please let us know how you were able to handle letting her cry it out. My sister’s baby is 9 and 1/2 months old and doesn’t sleep well at all. I would love for her to try sleep training but I don’t think she would be able to let him cry it out. Thank you so much for writing all about your experiences! It’s so helpful to all the new mothers out there!
First of all I want to say what an inspiring mommy you are!!! Sleep training is so hard, but so rewarding in the end!!!! Secondly, check out this article about babies who “skip” crawling: http://www.parenting.com/article/do-babies-need-to-crawl
I think you might find it insightful. Let me know if you want any tips/encouragement for helping Molly crawl.
Erin (Mommy of 2 boys and Pediatric Physical Therapist)
Mommy guilt is TOTALLY a real thing! My daughter, Daphne, is almost 9 months and my supply has been dropping slowly. I make enough to satisfy her between that and solids, but it’s hard! Im working 10 hour days, 4 days a week, and am only pumping 12-15 oz/ day now at work… before solids it was over 24oz! So, I too, have been contemplating formula… but I’m sooo close to a year! Hoping I can maintain for the remaining 3 months!!
Also, question on the sleep training… Do you have Molly in her own room now? I’ve been going back and forth on if I should ST Daphne.. my only concern is that she’s still in our room (her room is on a different level and I not comfortable with her being that far away yet) so I didn’t know if it would be harder on her in the same room as me? She wakes up once to nurse after 5-7 hours, eats hungrily, and goes right back to bed… I just have so much anxiety on if it will work or not with her being so close to me… #breastfeedingmomproblems
My daughter is 9 months on Wednesday and we thought we had sleep training down but now she’s so thrown off she refuses to nap in her crib she won’t put herself to sleep in it so I’m usually standing there trying to get her to sleep for a long time and then lay her down or else she screams.. my back is killing me she wants to be nursed to sleep. She mainly sleeps through the night but wakes up super early like 3:30-4 am wanting me to come get her and bring her to our bed. I can not afford the wee sleep because we are on one income, we have a bedtime routine which she seems to now hate. Any advice please. This would be so helpful I don’t get any alone time ?
Hi! My little one is 9 months and I contact weesleep but we couldn’t afford it. I loved that you laid out your new night routine cause mine is exactly like your old one! I am starting the switch today to the one you said you are currently doing. She (usually) only wakes once to feed at 4am but in the past month has been sleeping really bad, I think it’s due to her learning to walk and also she has a sinus infection.
Any tips on switching her routine to more like yours that weesleep suggested and have you noticed her sleep chances when she learns a new skill?
Love your blog!
I love reading all of your posts! My 5 month old was also not sleeping through the night, you were my inspiration to move her out of our room and into her crib. I followed some of your ideas and she is FINALLY sleeping through night, I’m up to about 5 days! WOO!!
So one thing I wanted to share, ironically most people think it sounds crazy, but my mom (a recently retired PE teacher) has seen it very often first hand with her students and has done a lot of research on it. Try and teach your daughter to crawl! Crawling is a huge brain development thing and correlates with reading skills down the road. I know it sounds crazy and I’m not trying to be negative, but my mom reminds me this with mine all the time. Just thought I would share.
How do I teach her? I’ve read that they will learn on their own and not to force it? I’ll google ways to teach her but let me know if you know any!
I was going to say the same thing! My husband and brother in law are chiropractors and they always said that babies should crawl before they walk. I would have her spine checked by a Gonstead chiropractor. I know it sounds scary because they’re so little but my 6 week old had his first adjustment at just 8 hours old! I love following your posts about Molly now that I’m a mom, too! Just thought I’d share this info 🙂
I dont know any secrets, just lots of tummy time and every now and then I left her off her belly so she see what it’s like to be on all 4’s. Truly don’t know, but i find myself on the floor at eye level for her a lot with mine…when I hold her she’s all about standing up. Maybe it’s just trying to keep her from standing I don’t know…you know it might not matter if she walks first as long as she crawls too.
Dont let it worry you though– i hate when other moms tell me something I’m doing is not the best way or the right way– definitely not trying to do that! PS I love reading your blogs and find you to be SOOO inspiring! Keep it up! Molly is adorable!
Ali- How did you keep up your or have such a high amount of milk supply? I had an emergency c section with my angel so I’m not sure if it had anything to do with it? I’m currently 4. Months pregnant and want to try and master breast feeding bc last time I didn’t get to due to only pumping 6 ounces a day. Please share your routine for it or anything you ate to help me? Thank you! Ashley from TX
I just have to tell you that we started sleep training a day after I read your blog. Our 11 month old sleeps 12 hours a night now! We’re still working on a good nap schedule for the day but at least now I can think straight and get real sleep! Thank you so much! Your blog was a huge help.
oh my gosh! Yay! SO glad it helped!!!
I’m happy that you’re happy with your sleep now. While I will never do sleep training with my kids, I respect the right to choose how you parent. But I must say that a schedule like that will only work for baby #1! 😉 I’d like to know how the cry-it-out experts talk to non-rookie moms! Now that I have 2, my 2nd baby is most definitely not getting even a regular morning nap at all, especially not multiple morning naps!! We are out all morning entertaining her big brother and driving him to preschool, etc. She gets whatever nap she will take in a car seat or stroller. So yeah, I’ve found that even though I can be exhausted, I’m most happy as a mom when I’m free and flexible and trying to go with the flow. Because that’s how it is with #2….for better or for worse. 🙂 And I know that one day I will sleep again….:)
No idea how it works for two kiddos! I guess I’ll know one day 😉
Teri, your post is spot on. My 3 kids are grown now and there was no such thing as sleep training back then. I’m not in favor of it but I do also respect others’ opinions and what works for them. However, without any so-called sleep training, my kids learned to sleep just fine and slept through the night when they were ready. I also needed flexibility. My first two were very close together and then I had 5 years before my last. So when she was born, I was hauling kids to and from school, Scouts, sports, friends’ houses, CCD, and she was along for the ride. I always said she was my baby who never finished a nap. She literally had no schedule, no regular bedtime, and slept anywhere she could. And she was the best baby! I could never have been on a a rigid schedule! Everyone has their own opinions, but you have to be flexible and go with the flow. Yes, I lost a fair amount of sleep over the years of babyhood, but babies do learn on their own, at their own pace, and without having to cry it out. Again, I respect your opinions, for those of you who do these new methods. But it would never be for me. And Teri’s right. Not for a second or subsequent baby.
Do you like those white pants better than the Hue ones from Nordys? You suggested the Hue ones and I got them. I like them.
I LOVE the hue ones! The Hue ones are jeggings and these are jeans. I honestly like them both equally – Hue are slightly more comfy because they are so stretchy. So glad you like the hue jeggings! I love them!
Hi!
This is such a helpful post- I really appreciate it!! What breast pump have you used? I have seen you take it to work with you throughout the day to pump etc. I am looking for a reliable one to invest it!
Thanks!
I was so happy to read this update and hear that molly is still doing amazing with her sleep! I too had the mom guilt with breastfeeding when I had to go back to work when my daughter was 11 months old and didn’t have enough supply in the freezer for her to drink while I was at work during the day. I talk to her doctor about it and she said that anytime between 10 and 12 months you can introduce them to homogenized milk so that’s what I chose to do instead of introducing formula for two months. About two weeks after her first birthday she totally weaned herself off of breast-feeding in the mornings and at night.
Thank you so much for posting about your success of sleep training! Thanks to you and Jillian Harris I too decided to hire Wee Sleep! The change has been AMAZING for our whole family. Our little guy sleeps through the night like a champ and naps are getting better every day. We feel so thankful that we did this and our little man is the happiest he’s ever been! I have also started to worry though about going off schedule and going out and having him “nap on the go” instead of at home in his crib. I worry that it will ruin our new sleep success. I also worry about being out at a family’s house for supper and having to put him to bed there and having them all think we are nuts for sticking to this super rigid schedule that he can’t even stay up to visit with them. I know the comments and looks we will get! Please update or let me know if you’ve had to put Molly to bed anywhere else besides home and how it went? For now we too are living it up at home with not many outings but we also appreciate the new sleep we are getting and wouldn’t trade it for anything!!
I totally had the same mommy guilt around 10 months when my supply started to dip. I felt like the more my son ate solid foods the less he wanted to nurse and I really needed to find that balance. I ended up supplementing with formula from 11-12 months and felt like such a failure. Thanks for your honesty and I’m looking forward to your blog about breast feeding as I am about to start nursing again baby #2 in a week or so!
So I also had the stomach flu and my milk supply had really diminished. I haven’t been able to get it up and have gone through most of my stash. Would love to hear your tips.
So glad to hear sleep training with WeeSleep worked for you as well! It did for us as well and my baby girl who is a month youger than little Molly is sleeping through the night. I was wondering if you’ve come across any comfortable bedding for travel purposes? We have a pack and play but I find it so uncomfortable! Even with its matteres! We also have a Grand dockatot but we haven’t used it since sleep training!
Hey Ali, do you have any advice on order of eating throughout the day? Our daughters are the same age and I feed her every 3.5 hours typically. I usually do solids, (cereal with a fruit or veggie) then a bottle. Sometimes she doesn’t take the bottle right after eating bc she’s full. Should I do solids then an hour or so later a bottle? And keep that schedule throughout the day? Does molly eat/drink right before naps? My daughter has had bad sleep issues the past month and after reading your post I read 5 books first before trying the sleep consultant. She gotten much better so I’m happy but I’m just nervous about messing something up through out the day. I’m like, ut oh… is this going to mess up her naps therefore messing up her sleep at night too?! And it’s so true about not wanting to venture out for the day! I started to laugh bc that’s how me and my husband have been haha. I feel like people are like, why is she being so ridgid?! But you have to be for awhile once they learn this new lifestyle of naps and bed, then over time you can get more flexible. I’m just nervous to interrupt her says routine! Anyway, thanks for all your info!
I your other blog I read that you use a sound machine at night. Did the sleep training consultant say to leave it on all night or turn it off after baby is asleep? I’ve read soo many comments on this topic just curious what you do?
What about a pacifier? Is this allowed during sleep training? We typically let her cry for 5-10 mins then give her the paci. Not sure if we should stop doing that! Thanks for sharing!
We have nap time down, now if I could get my little one to sleep through the night 🙂
. I was telling my husband about sleep training and we might need to try that! It is very hard to do things during the day with two nap times in there but making sure baby girl gets her naps and stays on schedule is so important! One question: where is Molly’s helmet from. I would love to order one for my little babe! Thanks!!
Well, now I feel 1000% better about my life- is it okay to say that?! This mom stuff is SO HARD, love every single second- so much so that I became a stay at home mommy but sometimes think I’m losing my mind or doing it all wrong and reading your blog posts on this has me feeling so relieved about EVERYTHING. From sleep needs, to nursing, to non crawling (relax grandma it’s fine if she skips it)! My sweet girl is just a month younger than your Molly and I am so grateful to feel like I’m not alone with these scenarios!
I am going to try your sleep training suggestions tomorrow when hubs is home- FF wifey here so that’s another fun factor. But I was wondering if Molly has had any teething issues interfere with her sleep? I wonder what the suggestion would be… my baby now has 8 teeth and I may have been using those as our excuse for terrible sleep…
anyways, thanks so much Ali. I knew I loved you on Bach and have followed you for years but right now I feel like we are bffs and I want to share a bottle of wine with you mama ?
Do you think it would still work for 16 month old? My son went to sleep so well without us in the room and often would sleep through the night. He made a sudden change over night! He now screams his head off when we walk out and cries for half an hour of we don’t go back in. He’s also up a lot during the night now:(
How often do you feed her and how much? What types of finger foods or foods do you feed her? I am working on trying to put my baby asleep through the night it was going great now she is fussy with swollen gums from her first teeth growing in. I’m wondering if I should feed her more or what not
A couple of thoughts (as if you need mine ha!)
– I have a 9 yr old, 5 yr old, and an 8 month old – all girls! We have sleep trained all of them (and shocker I am a birth doula and I feel like I would be burned at the stake if I said that at a doula meeting). It can be such a controversial thing (what isn’t in motherhood/baby world) but the blessings we have seen from it are so substantial that it is just undeniable for us. And even still when I read your last blog I thought some tips were great to learn from…every momma can learn! I totally get what you are saying in this post about the good and the bad. The amazing thing is when you want to put your baby down for a nap you don’t have a whole charade to get them to sleep, you just lay them down because of the schedule…the bad thing is you are on a schedule. We went losely by baby wise and one of the things they say is let the schedule work for you not you working for the schedule. This has proven to be harder and harder as we have had more kids, and because of our spacing we have to do all the school activities (and just regular drop off and pick up) so the schedule has to work with a lot more people. Anyway, I was just going to say I tend to live by the thought of 80/20. Meaning, 80% of the time we stick as closely as we can to the schedule so that 20% of the time we can do whatever we need to and it won’t throw everything off. With our third baby (Collins) it’s more like 70/30 at best just because of the business of a bigger family…but because of the consistency she has slept through the night since about 2.5 months.
– Another thought – breastfeeding… First of all, awesome job. I cannot imagine balancing all that you are and keeping up a supply. You are doing a fantastic job!!! A fed baby most definitely is best, but isn’t it so hard?! I get it. It’s also hard to figure out if your feelings are more about guilt or because it is something your heart really desires to do, or some combo. Do what you think is best for you and Molly! I do think that if you keep at it, you will see a leveling out. Our sleep trained more gradually (just be they were younger) so my supply was able to gradually drop just one feeding at a time. Because she changed so quickly to sleeping through the night (I am not suggesting that was bad :)) that is likely (along with being sick) why you had such a sudden drop. Even through all of my many drops in supply, somehow it would end up working out. Only once during my over a year journey with each baby did I have to supplement just an oz or two after each session for about a week until my supply returned after a terrible run with mastitis that made my supply plummet.
Keep on keeping on momma! You seem to be doing so well as a first time momma! It’s been fun to watch you do this.
How long do you keep your breast milk frozen for? I have some from 5 months ago but read conflicting things on how long it lasts in the freezer.
Hi Ali! My LO is only a few days apart from Molly and very similar, EBF, no paci, no daycare… so I have really enjoyed your blog. Thank you so much for sharing and being so honest. I have been extremely blessed because mine has been sleeping 12 hours at night since she was 4 weeks old. However, I have always nursed her to sleep at night, even though I always knew that wasn’t recommended but it was just a sweet moment for me and it meant she was sleeping at night! However, now I am trying to sleep train so she isn’t dependent on nursing or a bottle to fall asleep. I used to easily be able to lay her down for a nap and she would put herself to sleep. But now that she is crawling and pulling up in her crib, I have found it to be more difficult now. It’s like, I put her down and she is tired but she pulls up and gets another wind of energy and she hasn’t figured out how to lay herself back down yet once she is up. So I constantly have to go in and lay her back down which just makes her more upset because she sees me. Does this happen with Molly at all or any advice?
Hey Ali!
Will you be posting your outfit details from Love Buzz? I love your outfits in this clip!
Thanks,
Sara
So happy to hear it’s working for you!! My son just started rolling over in his crib last week so things have changed a little bit for us. Does Molly sleep on her tummy or her back? If her tummy, do you start her on her tummy or let her roll to it on her own? When my son rolls over to his tummy, he starts to cry so he wakes up a few times a night when that happens so we’ve got that to work on. 🙂 Always something!!
The owner of WeeSleep is not longer the regional director of the Association. So glad to see that the Association takes unprofessional comments and slander towards other sleep consultants and other training seriously. I am glad Molly sleep well but there are some other great consultants out there. WeeSleep is overpriced!
How do you soothe your baby when you did have to go in to comfort her?
Thank syou for your honesty, us moms need to be more honest and not compete with who’s baby is dong what! Can you post you entire day schedule. Just a rough outline of times like you did for your morning. I currently nurse before each nap and bed. I do not nurse to sleep but am thinking of switching the before nap nursing to after. I am wondering then what his solid food eating schedule would be. Thanx Ali! Love your blog!!!
Yes!! The naps! We’re sleep training our 5 month old and I feel like a prisoner in my own home because of naps. If I need to go out to run an errand, I time it so that we leave right as she wakes up and we’re home before her next feed. It’s crazy! Please keep us updated with Molly’s napping. I’m really hoping to have a bit more of a normal life sometime soon.
Also, I read a book instead of hiring a coach…are you done with the training part once they can wake up and put themselves back to sleep without crying? My daughter wakes up like clockwork 45-50 mins after we first put her down at night, cries on and off for a bit, then falls back asleep. She’ll usually wake up and cry/whine once during the night too.
Thanks for keeping us updates! Good luck with the nursing and please post more breastfeeding friendly clothes, if you can!
Just wanted to say it was most likely the stomach flu that caused your dip in supply! I caught it when my daughter was nine months and my supply TANKED. I did nurse her still while I was sick as much as I could. Though it wasn’t much! But she also might fed too.
Once I got better we had a couple days where we stayed home and I just nursed her as much as possible I help get my supply back up.
Anyways, the point to this is I too thought we were going to have to do formula because my supply was okay but still not normal. I tried some lactation granola bars from Oat Mama I had seen on instagram and they totally boosted my supply back! My favorites are the nut and berry and apple cinnamon. They are a bit pricey but I was desperate to not quit nursing after making it so far. And I couldn’t get past the taste of the mothers milk teas. (Gag me).
Any suggestions for sleep training twins? I have 9 month boy/girl twins, which my girl was sleeping 9-10 hours through the night at 3 months! She started waking up in the middle of the night at 5 months. My boy has always woken up to eat, although he will randomly sleep 8 or 9 hours some nights. Having them in a room together I feel it would be hard to sleep train and especially now that they sit/stand up when they wake up.
P.S. I’ve followed your pregnancy and I was just behind you and Catherine! ?
Chandra
We are having an awful time sleep training our five month old. We just finished our first week and she still isn’t napping or sleeping great. We would put her down to sleep around 8 o’clock and she’ll wake up again at nine and 10 and then sleep in till about 3:00/4:00am when she’ll nurse and then she’ll never go back to sleep. Well let her cry and she’ll sleep maybe 10 minutes and then get up and then cry and she’ll sleep 15 minutes and get up. She does the same things for naps as well. Any suggestions? What time do you normally put Molly to bed?
I also have a six-year-old son with autism and back to work so I’m going a little crazy with no sleep. Thanks for any suggestions you have. I love following your blog.
Hey Ali! Thank you for your original post about sleep training! My son was just a great sleeper on his own, so my daughter, also Molly =), was a whole new ballgame. She’s finally sleeping through the night after following the suggestions you guys used, so thank you! I have a quick question about naptime. Does Molly usually take the same length of naps each day? Did your coach say anything about how long each nap should be and what to do if she wakes up too early from a nap? Are you supposed to let her settle herself back to sleep or go ahead and get her up and continue the schedule from there? My Molly will sometimes wake up early from her naps (like a good 45 minutes or so earlier than she usually does) and it throws off the rest of the afternoon, what time she goes to bed, etc. Just curious if this was a question that came up with the coach you used. Thank you!
At she’s 2 and 4 we are still home for naps most of the time. There are special occasions we deviate, but routine is key! As she gets to that 18 month Mark you should be able to transition to one nap and that’s soooo helpful. So just hang in there. As for BF, the guilt is real but be proud of yourself for 10 months, really awesome job mama.
Ages* 2 and 4
Ali, I relate so much to this post. I was an exclusive pumper for five months. I wish I could have lasted longer, but after numerous clogged ducts, blebs (which I would take a hot needle to), cracked nipples, and full days where I could barely pick up my baby because of the pain I realized that my son was getting a miserable version of me. I’m happy I made it as long as I did, but also so relieved that that is behind me and I can try and be the best mom I can be. Mom guilt is for real! I’ve been so impressed reading that you’re still breastfeeding. Go you!!
Also, my son was born a week after Molly. He has been sleep trained since he was five months. We’ve struggled with getting out of the house and our days definitely revolve around making sure he can nap at home and on time. It’s obviously very limiting and I’m hoping to experiment with how flexible he can be soon, but I definitely don’t regret being so strict when I hear my mom friends complain about how their little ones are still waking up several times a night!
I love your fashion and motherhood posts! I’ve followed you since the bachelor and we were prego at the same time 🙂 Jackson is 10 months and EBF, I was nursing him to sleep with the same routine as you had and he was waking up to nurse back to sleep 1-2 times a night. I knew I needed to sleep train but didn’t know what to do, THANK YOU!
My question: I’m not sure what to do about nursing during the day… Jackson will want to nurse before and after naps (He would nurse all day everyday if I let him) … what is the nap time routine if you don’t bath and nurse? Read a book, kiss, sound machine and lights?
Hi! How many extra pumping sessions did you do at night and how long did it take your supply to come back? I’m currently going through the same thing and I’m hoping I can build my supply back up too!! Thanks!
Hi Ali
You will probably never see this since there are so many comments but I want to say that my story about breast feeding is very similar to yours. As soon as I sleep trained (and got pregnant again) my milk supply dropped- my son was about Mollys age. The Dr said as long as he was at least 11 months old and getting about 15oz of breast milk a day, that I could suppliment w whole milk. W a lot of effort I was able to make it work, and it eventually made weaning from breast milk to whole milk so much easier.
Keep up the good work!
Hey!
So it’s 1am on the east coast and my little guy just started crying in his room. He usually sleeps all night (he missed his afternoon nap so that’s def an issue today). So I went back to your original post and reread about sleep training. I went in twice and rubbed his belly (but when I left he proceeded to cry harder). But one really important thing in the post that I overlooked the first time was 10 seconds of no crying in a 10 minute period. He finally started calming down, and staying silent for 20+ seconds so I didn’t go in again.
Thanks for the tips! My little guy turns 10 months (right now!) and my supply has seriously dropped in the last month as well. I have a big freezer stash so I’m not worried about making it to July but I loooove our nursing sessions so I don’t want to lose that. I think it’s normal for it to drop but I feel like mine was so drastic/quick.
Have a great night!
(And the cries start again. Don’t… pick… him… up… lol)
To all the mummies out there, listen to your heart…
Letter From a Sleep-Training Baby
Dear mommy,
I am confused.
I am used to falling asleep in your soft, warm arms. Each night I lay snuggled close to you; close enough to hear your heartbeat, close enough to smell your sweet fragrance. I gaze at your beautiful face as I gently drift off to sleep, safe and secure in your loving embrace. When I awaken with a growling stomach, cold feet or because I need a cuddle, you attend to me quickly and before long I am sound asleep once again.
But this last week has been different.
Each night this week has gone like this. You tucked me up into my cot and kissed me goodnight, turned out the light and left. At first I was confused, wondering where you’d gone. Soon I became scared, and called for you. I called and called for you mummy, but you wouldn’t come! I was so sad, mummy. I wanted you so badly. I’ve never felt feelings that strong before. Where did you go?
Eventually you came back! Oh, how happy and relieved I was that you came back! I thought you had left me forever! I reached up to you but you wouldn’t pick me up. You wouldn’t even look me in the eye. You lay me back down with those soft warm arms, said “shh, it’s night time now” and left again.
This happened again, over and over. I screamed for you and after a while, longer each time, you would return but you wouldn’t hold me.
After I had screamed a while, I had to stop. My throat hurt so badly. My head was pounding and my tiny tummy was growling. My heart hurt the most, though. I just couldn’t understand why you wouldn’t come.
After what felt like a lifetime of nights like this, I gave up. You don’t come when I scream, and when you do finally come you won’t even look me in the eye, let alone hold my shaking, sobbing little body. The screaming hurt too much to carry on for very long.
I just don’t understand, mummy. In the daytime when I fall and bump my head, you pick me up and kiss it better. If I am hungry, you feed me. If I crawl over to you for a cuddle, you read my mind and scoop me up, covering my tiny face with kisses and telling me how special I am and how much you love me. If I need you, you respond to me straight away.
But at night time, when it’s dark and quiet and my night-light casts strange shadows on my wall, you disappear. I can see that you’re tired, mummy, but I love you so much. I just want to be near to you, that’s all.
Now, at night time, I am quiet. But I still miss you.
From http://www.alternative-mama.com/a-letter-from-a-sleep-training-baby/
Kim
I wrote this in response to the first post on sleep, but guess I will post it here since that one is older. My thoughts on all this:
The AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends infants sleep in the same bedroom for one year (minimum 6 months) as their parents “to decrease the risks of sleep-related deaths” for babies this young.
From AAP website:
“Recommendations call for infants to share their parents’ bedroom for at least the first six months and, optimally, for the first year of life, based on the latest evidence. ”
“Room-sharing decreases the risk of SIDS by as much as 50 percent.”
So why are sleep consultants recommending methods and training that have babies not in their parents rooms? Especially at such young ages? This doesn’t seem appropriate or safe. Nor does presuming all babies can go such a long time without eating. (Or a diaper change. Or comforting. Or something else that might be wrong!).
Lack of sleep stinks. No doubt about it. But:
a) there are gentler and safer ways to get more sleep rather than attempting to “train” a baby so young and helpless.
b) It is normal for babies to wake up in the night – they are biologically wired to do so – as we are biologically wired to comfort them when they cry. And, they are biologically wired to sleep near the person they were just sleeping INSIDE for 9 months. All this “training” goes against nature.
c)I am a first time mom with a baby born within a week of Molly.
During all this I’ve done a ton of reading about sleep/cosleeping/bedsharing and sleep training. And the more I read the more I see research saying letting babies cry is harmful. That is natural that they want to sleep close, or want comfort, etc etc.
And that babies sleeping alone is a strange phenomena. A new one, as through time with both humans and animals, babies and kids always slept with their mother/parents/family. They can’t do anything else on their own, but for some reason the USA pushes it like it’s a skill to learn now, when they are the most helpless and most dependent on their parents. They’re building trust in us and the world!
Sometimes I feel frustrated and another friend with a now 2 year old said – they are only this helpless and dependent on us once. That helps me get through it. And there are ways to get more sleep that do not involve leaving your child in another room, letting them cry alone (VERY stressful to a baby – floods the brain with cortisol, which is damaging long term. Crying in arms is something different).
Anyone thinking of sleep training should read these articles first, to make sure they truly understand that babies waking up is normal. And “sleeping through the night” is not typical…
Dangers of “Crying It Out” -Damaging children and their relationships for the longterm.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/moral-landscapes/201112/dangers-crying-it-out
Human Babies Do Not and Should Not Sleep Alone
https://neuroanthropology.net/2008/12/21/cosleeping-and-biological-imperatives-why-human-babies-do-not-and-should-not-sleep-alone/
The West’s Strange Relationship to Babies and Sleep
http://www.incultureparent.com/2011/08/the-wests-strange-relationship-to-babies-and-sleep/
And also from what I read here and other places: “giving babies what they need leads to greater independence later”.
Cry It Out – 6 Educated Professionals Who Advise Against It
http://www.bellybelly.com.au/baby-sleep/cry-it-out/
Also Ali is a new mom who shared her experience with something that is working for her right now (and with only short term results so far). Ok, that’s fine. You can ask her details about her schedule and methods, but you shouldn’t be asking her for advice on what to do with your baby! (again I guess this more applies to the other sleep training post that was filled with people asking her advice! I’m sure she wants to help but asking her for anything other than her own details doesn’t make sense!…).
One more thing – try organic moringa/malungay tablets to build your supply back up. It’s natural – a leaf. My lactation consultant advised them for me (I had a really low supply)… that coconut water, oatmeal, pumping and lotsss of nursing built my supply from barely anything.
I also had a stomach virus not long ago as well, and just letting her nurse a lot to build it back up. I let her nurse through the night whenever she wants though. Cosleeping helps with that, and also helps me get more sleep (not having to get up means I go back to sleep much faster). Btw, when you have a virus, just bring her in bed with you and let her nurse lying down. I stayed in bed too, but just had her in with me a bunch to nurse and she napped with me.
Good info here (and the whole site is useful) for that:
“Should breastfeeding continue when mom is sick?”
http://kellymom.com/bf/can-i-breastfeed/illness-surgery/mom-illness/
Thanks for sharing this! It’s important to note that sleep is really important for baby but ALSO for parents! That gets overlooked often in this step. Great post!
Hi Aaliyah,
Thanks for all your information on your experience with sleep training! My husband and I have just contacted wee sleep! I am nervous to start to be completely honest. This is our second and he is three months old but I don’t want him to have the sleep habits my daughter had and they have said it’s not too young to start but I am still a bit anxious!! Anyways the first night did Molly have a really tough time cutting out those night feedings?? I am worried I won’t be strong enough to keep going and not give in!!
Omg auto correct it should say Ali!!!!
Check out Milky Mama LLC. They are based in CA. Their Lactation cookies and Lactation lemonades have greatly helped my milk supply a lot since my 7 months old has started sleeping through the night. It’ll help you restock your freezer stash in no time!
If you download their app, you should get a coupon code to redeem on your order. The first time I placed an order, I got their sample starter pack. I wanted to make sure it actually worked before investing a lot into it. Their Emergency Brownies are delicious and truly helped me a lot during my cycle. (Con to my daughter sleeping through the night is I started my cycle again boooo!)
Good luck!
I am glad that it worked so well for you! 🙂 We had success with Hipp Goodnight formula from organicbaby.la/hipp-german-formula. Since we give our girl this, the nights are much longer. 🙂
Lovely greetings
Sandy
Hi Ali,
A friend of mine just sent me your article to read because I am am having so much trouble with my daughter and her sleep habits. Once I started reading your article I honestly feel like I could’ve written the first few paragraphs. I am having those mental breakdowns because I am down right exhausted. My daughter is 7 months old and EBF. Your entire article has really resonated with me and I am going to take your advice and try the sleep training method you used and pray it works. I have always said I didn’t want to sleep train because I do ANYTHING to not hear my baby cry it’s awful but she is up crying for a few hours a night anyways with my husband and I trying to soothe her until she falls asleep, or I nurse her until she falls asleep which I see is a big no no. Thank you for opening up and sharing your story!
I used my sleep training method for extending naps too and now we have just 2 longer naps instead of 4 catnaps and it’s much easier to manage through the day. We sleep trained with Hold with love method, followed this book: https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=susan+urban+guide+in+a+nutshell. First we did it for nights (worked faster than expected!) and than the same for the naps. Since naps were longer, we cut the quantity. My babygirl is a heavy sleeper now, so I need to go out at naptime – I just take her with me and she falls asleep basically anywhere!
I decided to start sleep training because of the naps. My baby wouldn’t nap longer than 30min – the catnapper they call it. What a disaster! He was not able to sleep but not rested eighter… We sleeptrained with Susan Urban with this HWL method and it was great! Worked for night in just few days. And naps became longer at the same time. We’re having 3 1,5-hours naps a day! Cannot believe it.
I used this method too! I remember being totally surprised how fast this was!
I remember using HWL method before vacation – great plan it was! I’ve read that after that baby will asleep everywhere. And you know what? It works! We sleeptrained (4 long nights) and in 2 weeks went for a vacation. Baby slept in a stroller and we were totally free!