Hey folks! It’s Kevin. I don’t know if you saw it, but I wrote a post for Ali’s blog a couple years ago right before Molly was born. I really wanted to give Ali at least a day from off from writing, so I figured I would fill in. Well last week, and I’m not exaggerating when I say this, she had her computer out and was working on upcoming blog posts while laying in the labor & delivery room. In between contractions, she was working on her website. I realized that I should probably do it again! Especially now that Riley has arrived and she’s up feeding him every couple hours at night. She’s exhausted and I want her to rest, so I am once again your guest writer!
I want to write about an unexpected aspect of bringing baby number 2 home from the hospital. I was honestly full of mixed emotions during Ali’s pregnancy. We had built up such an incredible bond and rhythm with Molly over the previous 22-months, and I felt a little weird about disrupting that. Don’t get me wrong, we were trying for a second pregnancy and we were beyond thrilled to know that we would soon be a family of 4… but a part of me knew that when we brought him home, he would steal a good amount of our time away from Molly. It was a weird feeling. I was obviously super anxious to meet him, but I was a little sad that our days as a family of 3 were coming to an end. 
1. MOLLY’S HAT | 2. MOLLY’S SUIT | 2. ALI’S TOP | 3. ALI’S PANTS
The thing I wasn’t prepared for, was how much his presence would immediately age Molly! Have any other parents experienced this?? It’s kinda mind-blowing honestly. Ali & I were in the hospital for about 50 hours, which is by far the longest we’ve been away from Molly. It seems that in that time, she went from our little baby to our huge kid! We’ve been telling her for months that she’s “no longer a baby” and she’s “a big kid now”, but I never actually felt that way. But then as soon as she came stomping into the hospital room to meet her brother, I finally saw that big kid. I mean I guess it’s possible that she physically grew a noticeable amount in the time we were away. Another part of it is obviously the comparison to the little newborn in the room. But there has to be something beyond that. Something subconscious. She seems more mature, her feet look bigger, she feels heavier, etc. Those 2 and a half days in the hospital feel like 2 and a half years. Again, I can’t say this enough, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to have a wonderful wife and two beautiful children… but there is something very sad about no longer seeing our first baby as a baby and I wasn’t prepared for that. Please let me know in the comments (or on my Twitter or Instagram) if you can relate.
Congratulations, congratulations, congratulations to your family, Kevin! I love the first photos of baby Riley. Sweetest family! ❤️❤️❤️
Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog
http://charmainenyw.com
Such a sweet post! So happy for you and Ali you both are blessed with beautiful children! I love seeing Molly on the Instagram stories she is a doll! May God Bless!
Such a sweet post, and it’s great to hear your thoughts & perspective on everything, Kevin. I have two boys at home, they are 7 and 4, and we are expecting our first daughter in about 2 weeks. I can definitely relate when you say that the new baby instantly ages your other child(ren). My youngest now is definitely my little ‘baby boy’ and I know it’s going to be a huge shock seeing him next to his tiny, new baby sister in a few short weeks after he’s been our baby for the last 4 years! It was the same when we brought him into the world and his big brother came to meet him for the first time. Such a special, but very bittersweet moment. Glad you were able to give Ali a little break. Hope you all are doing well & adjusting to life as a family of 4!
Congrats on your new addition! We recently had number 3 when #1 was 7 and #2 was almost 5 so don’t eliminate your options yet! 3 is amazing! Enjoy your special time and what a wonderful hubby to give your wife some time to rest. She should rest even without you writing. We would all understand <3
Hi Christina! We also had baby number 3 when my oldests were 7 and 5. It is a wonderful age gap. They are 9,7 and 2 now and we love the dynamics within our family, much less fighting and lots of help around. I feel like I went back to having one baby, not 3. Kevin, it’s 100% normal to want a vasectomy in the first few weeks, with the sleepless nights, and 2 kids under two (I also had my second when my oldest was 21 months) but please give it some time. It gets easier and then you miss that precious time when they were little 🙂
We just had our second a week and a half ago (our first is a month younger than Molly) and I 100% relate- she seems huge now. I keep saying her hands seem so big especially. I want her to stay our baby forever though 😭.
Ok. This made me cry! I totally get this. Amazing how your heart instantly opens up for another one! Here’s hoping your vasectomy is an easy one’
Absolutely normal! I felt this impact BIG TIME when we had our second. There’s definitely a period of mourning the way things were and how they’ll never be again.
We have 4 boys- vasectomies are as common in our house as peeing while standing up. I would highly recommend a Dr that’s also a Mohel. With our first, we allowed the Dr at the hospital to take care of it and he cut too deep resulting in a rough year of healing for our baby. The last three had a Mohel and they healed beautifully.
Congratulations on your new addition! Rest assured that a new normal will soon be in place and imagining your life in reverse would seem like such a loss. Their bond will be unshakeable. Nothing in this world will give you and Ali peace more then knowing that they have each other.
I think you might be confusing vasectomies with circumcisions.. or at least I hope you are!! 😉
Pahaha totally did! That’s a major oops!
LOL!
I thought the same and said….eeks!!!
I’m gonna guess he’s 100% seriously talking about a vasectomy. I’m pretty sure they only want two children. So….chime in Kevin!! 🙂
I didn’t even catch that! Poor guy. Hopefully he’ll correct it soon!
He did say and write vasectomy. 😊
I think he meant vasectomy. 😊
Yes I hope so too
I just read that and thought the same thing. What is a Mohel?
Jewish person, and/or Rabbi that does circumcisions.
I’m glad you caught that because I was like what is she speaking about.
I doubt it they only want 2 children!!
… umm, I’m pretty certain baby Riley was circumcised BEFORE they left the Hospital like MOST baby boys, except the Jewish? Then again, I’m not really sure if Kevin IS Jewish? Forgive me if I’m wrong…
Lol, I thought the same thing. I read it a few times with a puzzled expression on my face.
Kevin!
Thank you for sharing your perspective! Your feelings of going from one baby to two are completely normal! It is a major change, but in all of the best ways possible. I have two boys 18 months apart and having the second was terrifying and we were sad about losing the dynamic of the three of us at first too. But, watching them become best friends has been the biggest joy in my life. I believe a sibling is the best gift you can give a child.
As far as vasectomies go, my husband had two 😂 The first one he was a very unique case and it didn’t work. So, he repeated the procedure. Everything worked like it should have and it has been a great thing for us. He said it was uncomfortable (as you can imagine), but it wasn’t anything too traumatic. It was the best solution for birth control for us and I’m grateful he was willing to do that for me. Just make sure you are 110% certain you’re done having babies 😉
AMEN HALLELUJAH to that!🙌🎉
I can completely relate to what you are saying about how having a new baby ages the baby you have at home. Our two older girls were 6 and 9 when we had our third daughter however our youngest daughter was only 2 1/2 when we had our son. I struggled so much with how I was going to love him as much as I loved her, if I was going to have enough time for her when he came, and if I was cheating her somehow because in my eyes she was still my baby. We had planned my son as well so it is not like his pregnancy was a shock or anything but I think those feelings are normal. When we had my son and my kids came to visit, my youngest daughter seemed so old. She just seemed like she wasn’t my baby anymore but this big kid like her sisters. It was a very bittersweet moment. I will tell you, she is definitely a daddy’s girl now. She is 11 now and while she loves her Momma, she is 100% a Daddy’s girl. Thank you for writing to us Kevin!! Congrats to you all!
Yes! This happens! But I was fortunately prepared because everyone told me it would happen, but still nothing kikecehrb it does. My son was 18 months when we brought my daughter home back in February, and I swear he looked like a five year old! Congratulations to you guys!
Such an adorable family you have!! How does your wife still look like a million bucks right after giving birth?!? I haven’t experienced what you described with kids of my own, but I’ve seen it with my nieces 2 years apart- the older one seemed like such a full blown “person” compared to the newborn if that makes sense.
Congratulations on the sweet new addition of baby Riley and you tell Ali that she should not feel guilty about taking as much time as she needs away from work and this site to take care of herself and the babe, she’s earned it!!
Oh Kevin that was beautiful. So nice to see a loving husband and father. And even if Molly is no longer the baby she will always be your baby. And if your serious about being done with 2 kids. I totally recommend vasectomy. It is such an easy procedure with little to no recovery. My husband had one after our family was complete and I remember going into the office and the Dr saying “drop your pants and we’ll do it right here”. I watched the very quick procedure and then we were off shopping the rest of the day. He even built a storage shed that evening and back to work the next day. Best decision ever! Congratulations on your beautiful family!
Wait a year on the vasectomy. You may change your mind and want another baby. It really does happen! lol I had a boy and girl and by all accounts our family was complete. We now have 3 amazing children (another girl). They are all best friends. If at the end of one year you know you are complete then have the procedure.
Yes! Agree to wait at least a year if not longer! I had a girl and a boy 16 months apart and thought that was it. But six years later we had another girl. They are all grown now and I have grandkids and one great, and honestly can’t imagine life without #3! It’s way too soon to know if you are ‘done.’
Congrats on your family of 4! It’s great hearing the man’s perspective on how your family has changed over the past few days. You guys are doing a great job!
Well I’m finally posting to Kevin!
Hi Kevin, My name is Diana short for di!
Let’s see since I’ve been posting to Ali I refer her to “my Blog friend” Molly is Jolly Molly, now Riley is Smiley Riley and Kevin, is
Devin Kevin.! You seem like you would be a
Poet! Ha!
Knowing that you must be Irish by your name and now you named your son Riley..
How exciting and to be blessed to have a healthy baby boy! What a gift he is for all of you!
I do understand on how you must feel with now bring Riley into your family as once you were a triangular, but now your a full circle!
As I had posted to Ali a few days ago when at the time I was 189 post, ( never got to be number one post yet! ha!) don’t know if she got the chance to read my post, but she herself as you must know felt how can she love someone as much as she loves Molly.
Well you can it all comes natural and your even given more love to love! Let’s face it Molly will always be your first born and daddy’s little girl and that will never change.
She’s now the big sister that will watch over her little brother!
Now you both start to see her next stage of life growing up to be the big sister. Another exciting step of her life.
Your going to be surprised on how Molly will take over and be able to love her brother as much as you both love her. I had mentioned to Ali that I feel that Molly will be inquisitive. Always being around mommy and baby Riley and she will want to be able to hold this little life in her arms and give him her love since she’s been around so much love ❤️💕 💙 to give!
It’s been nice posting to you. You should give yourself a pat on the back! Your a great husband and now a loving father of two!
When you take one day at a time and live for that day it seems like it goes the way it’s supposed to go in life. Enjoy each day we all have cause we don’t know what will come tomorrow!
🤗😘 to my blog friend, Jolly Molly, Smiley Riley and Devin Kevin! 💕💙
Can’t forget Fuzzy Owen! Wags!
di🙂🤗💕
This is so sweet of you to do for Ali! I love hearing your perspective of bringing baby home. My little guy just turned one last week and my husband and I were talking about when to start trying for our next bundle of joy! And even just talking about having a new baby made our little guy seem so much older! I fell like he has grown up so much just since turning 1! It’s so crazy how fast it goes but so fun watching them grow!
Congratulations! And yes! I can totally relate. My girls are 24 months apart and I’m in constant disbelief that my oldest used to be my youngest’s age!
If you’re serious about the Big V, like my husband would say, do it!!! He said to say it hurts like hell for the 2 days, then it’s alright. Manageable. But if you’re done having kids, it’s been a huge relief (for me!) HA! We had our daughter 3/3/2016 and our son was born 3/7/17 so during my 2nd pregnancy we both knew we were done (assuming 2nd baby was a boy and he was!) And I completely agree with the 1st baby looking huge once the 2nd baby comes. It’s almost heartbreaking. Feeling like you missed out on something. But trust, it’s fun! Congrats to you guys!!!
Kevin, the pictures you shared are so precious! Through Ali, we all know you are an incredibly loving and supportive husband and father, and I’ve concluded, a delightful, kind, laid back man anyone would be lucky to call their friend.
Our sons are 29 and 34 now and I have no memory of worrying about being able to love them both after the birth of #2, but I’m sure we had those fears. Change is much more difficult for adults than children. I taught kindergarten and 2nd grade for about 10 years and through raising our sons, I loved witnessing how smoothly most children adjust to change. The new normal is accepted pretty easily, especially when the adults don’t impose their struggles with adjusting, i.e. lamenting to the child about missing your life with just the 3 of you, not having time to…,etc. Molly appears to be a perceptive little girl. Most pictures and videos indicate she is assessing her surroundings, trying to figure out what things are and what is happening. You two will do great parenting her, I’m certain. She’ll love her 1-1 time with each of you and both of you together when Riley is sleeping. She’ll love helping out and feeling important and needed and she’ll soon enjoy play dates with friends, away from home for some “big” girl fun. Ask for help from family and friends, rest when you can and take that dear wife of yours on a date, even if just for a walk around the block, at least once a week!❤️
So nice of you to fill in for Ali. Always love to hear your perspective too. 🙂
It’s been almost 20 years for me since bringing home a second daughter, but I will never forget that instant “aging” that happens to your first baby. And it is so bittersweet. Molly will always be the older sister now. And for me, I always see the younger one as so much littler, even when she hits the same ages as the older one. Make sense? lol
Enjoy your new baby and your big girl. They grow sooo fast!
Yes, this! Our son was just shy of 3 years when we had our daughter and were completely thrown by how “old” he seemed when we brought her home. It was like he had matured in every possible way and we didn’t expect that at all. Your experience is totally normal!
First of all, Kevin is the sweetest Husband to say all of those kind things about Ali as a wife, mother, and woman, in general!!! Those words of affirmation are priceless!!! 🙂
Second, oh my gosh…Molly does look so much different! Maybe it’s because Kevin said something before I saw the family picture in the hospital room but when I saw the picture she looked so much different. So, I cant imagine how you must be feeling as parents! I take care of kids at our church and we take a break over the summer. When they come back to the nursery after summer break it’s incredible how different the kids are!
Last, but not least lol, all I know is vasectomies are reversible and a much better recovery for men than women getting their tubes tied. My Husband has claimed that if we ever are Blessed with children (through our journey with infertility) and decide we are done, he’ll opt for it. I would describe my Husband as a great decision maker and really thinks out his decision, does a lot of research, etc. Decisions are different from everyone but I tend to think that when my Husband is for or against something it makes me pause and take his view into consideration because I know there was a lot of thought and research into it. However, I don’t think he has really done research INTO Vasectomies but I think him knowing the recovery would be easier for him than me getting my tubes tied made a good case for him so far…
Hope this helps!
Congratulations to the Manno Family!!!!! 😉
Also, Ali is my Husband…he is a teacher and I could see him grading papers while in the hospital for something LOL. Hopefully he wont be grading papers if I am ever in labor having a baby but maybe if there is down time and I am sleeping HAHAHA. Great work ethic- but Ali, you deserve a break (even though you love your job!!!) We’ll all be here when you get back 🙂 🙂 🙂
The Bachelorette is on so if you plan on doing blogs for that (which I totally understand if you don’t because you just had a baby!) I will be a faithful reader, as always!
Super sweet post and congrats to you and your family! It is definitely hard when you no longer see your first as a baby but also wonderful that she has a sibling so close in age to grow up with.
My husband had a vasectomy after our second was about four months old. He was sore for a few days but it’s nothing compared to what women go through with pregnancy and labor/delivery! It will be a gift to Ali so she won’t have to worry about birth control for years to come.
Yes I can totally relate! In fact, our situations are very similar albeit a couple years apart. My daughter, Katie, was 20 months when my son Jake was born. She was also a late walker (16.5 months), so to see her walk in the room to meet her baby brother, it was like I had fast forwarded time by 2 years. I also truly think having a girl first makes them seem so much older because they have that innate sense of nurturing. At only 20 months old she would put a blanket on her brother if he kicked it off or go over and kiss his head when he cried. I pretty much made sure to always have tissues nearby because as my hormones were going crazy and I was seeing how sweet my little girl was to her new baby brother I was in a constant puddle 😭 Congratulations on your beautiful family and I commend you for being such a supportive husband and awesome father. Enjoy this crazy ride with two!
Literally teared up reading this! It’s so sweet for Kevin to be writing a post for Ali because he knows how much she loves her blog and knows that if she thinks it’s being neglected, she’ll overwork herself to get something done instead of taking the rest she needs. <3 I can feel the love through the internet!
Your relationship is something to be admired!
And Ali, please take all the time you need to rest. We'll miss you, but you and your family are most important! And we'll all be here for you when you get back 🙂
I can totally relate! Our daughter turned 2 in March and we had our little boy 3 weeks later. I suddenly felt like our daughter looked like a 5 year old! We had never been away from her overnight and she must have grown in the 24 hours we were in the hospital. It was so sad. Just like you said, she felt heavier, lookeked older and acted more mature. Now 6 weeks later, it is even more so. Her language has taken off and she is so helpful with the baby (like actually helpful) and she even talks to him in a baby voice. It’s been sad but so exciting to see her in a new light.
Congrats on your precious family!
Kevin, you are the sweetest man to write for her. I don’t have any input on bringing home baby number 2 since I have 1 child (15 year old daughter) but my husband had a vasectomy years ago. He said it’s the best thing he ever did.. We never have to worry about contraceptives. Good luck to you two! You are a wonderful family and Ali is a wonderful mother! She always writes about her love for the children and you can feel it in how she writes.
Yes! Yes! Yes and yes! My son was older than Molly (he was three and a half) when our daughter was born. And I had all those same thoughts. Overnight, he just went from this toddler to full-blown little boy – he even basically potty trained himself when his baby sister was 10 days old. It is the most insane yet amazing feeling to have this transformation happen. Enjoy it! And get as much rest as you can – both of you!
Such a sweet post! Loved hearing this from a daddy’s perspective. I really enjoy following your family’s adventures.
As for a vesectomy, I would look into essure for Ali. I am currently expecting my 3rd in 3 weeks and then I am going to do essure. I have had friends that have had complications from vasectomy—essure is an in office, non evasive procedure that is supposed to be just as effective. I had never heard of it until my doctor suggested it, now I think it’s the only option for us!
I am a nurse working in Womans health. Essure is a good option for some, but not all and it’s success and complication rates are small, but still far greater than those of a Vasectomy. It is invasive and is often done in the OR although some office do offer it as an in office procedure. It’s efficacy is not at good at as a Vasectomy and if there is a complication with placements, major abdominal surgery is required to fix it. This is just a small bit of information
“When choosing a method of permanent birth control, itís important to look for proven long-term effectiveness. Since the 1960s, vasectomy, a safe, simple, and highly effective procedure,has been one of the most popular forms of contraception in the United States and worldwide. Couples who want highly reliable birth control options and permanent forms of contraception often choose vasectomy, for which the success rate is more than 99%.1 Although some newer “permanent” contraceptive procedures are now available, you may be surprised to learn that the success rates of these types of birth control may be lower than that of vasectomy. One new permanent contraceptive procedure, Essure, has only been proven effective for up to five years, and very little is known about how well it will work beyond those first five years.
The Essure procedure
In the Essure procedure, a micro-insert (a tiny metal coil) is delivered through the vagina and uterus and placed into each of the woman’s two fallopian tubes. Once in place, scar tissue gradually forms in and around these micro-inserts, creating a barrier that blocks the fallopian tubes so that sperm cannot reach the woman’s eggs. The procedure is done via hysteroscopy on an outpatient basis (cost ranging from $1300 to $3500) and is usually an in-office procedure. In comparison, vasectomy, which is also usually performed in the physician’s office, typically costs in therange of $500 to $1000.
However, in Essure clinical studies,not every woman achieved success with the micro-inserts. In fact, the Center for Women’s Health reports that as many as one in seven women did not achieve successful placement of both micro-inserts during the first placement procedure,although some of these women chose to undergo a second hysteroscope procedure, wherein both micro-inserts were placed successfully, and subsequently were able to rely on Essure for contraception. By contrast, birth control for men by way of vasectomy is over 99% effective.”
If you’re certain your family is complete than schedule an appointment with a good Urologist. If there is even the slightest question, I’d suggest using condoms, the mini-pill or an IUD for a year, until you’re certain.
Don’t forget about Owen! So you are a family of five! Lol. No seriously…this is so sweet. Congratulations to you all. ❤️
Definitely get the vasectomy if you for sure never want to have kids again. It’s a lot safer for the man than it is the woman. My friend got one and he said it made everything so much better now that he no longer has that paranoia that he may accidentally knock up his wife.
I mentioned this feeling in my comment to the blog post “Letter to Molly” on May 21st. But until you truly live it, you cannot understand the bittersweet emotions & realization that your first baby is no longer a baby.
Also, so it’s not unexpected, Molly is at such a sweet age, she will hit the terrible twos soon, which are not too terrible, its the threenager you need to worry about! Yikes, I’m living that now with an almost two year old and 3 year old…. hold on for the ride & Good luck!
Oh how this post made me cry! Kevin you are so amazing to write this about your family, and I love how honest you are. My daughter is a week younger than Molly and my husband and I are contemplating if we want baby #2. My main concern is about losing time with our daughter and her feeling left out if a new baby comes. Thank you so much for being so relatable and honest. Congrats to a new family of 4!
Oh , Kevin…amazing post! Thank you for recognizing what the mamas of the world go through. My daughter arrived 3.5 yrs after my son (I throw up for 9 mos and lose 20#), so I needed space between children. My son was huge when I brought baby girl home at one day old. We have him on video calling her “poop head”…sounds like a toddler boy. Ha….my kids are so close, almost 34 yrs and 30 yrs…..go figure. All I wanted for Christmas 1988 was a vasectomy. …I got it and felt nothing…lol. best thing ever….husband did well, drove himself, had pain meds which weren’t needed, but I used them for my headache after being solo with the littles (j/k). You have a great team there, blessed with healthy children, and all will be OK! I think most moms are tough on themselves, I still am and have a toddler grandson! We’re our own worst critics. When I’m needing a boost, I watch an oldy, Everybody Loves Raymond, and I count my blessings, I had the best MIL, may she RIP. Keep doing what you’re doing, your troop of 5 (Owen too) are just terrific! Best to you always.
What a sweet husband you have! It is truly a beautiful thing when men can embrace and love every aspect of what happens during pregnancy, labor, and delivery. You have yourself a keeper!
And it’s so true— your first baby always ages so incredibly fast once you bring home another new blessing.
Congratulations!
Kevin – my husband and I have a 23 month old little girl. I follow Ali’s IG and blog and regularly smile in recognition of the many experiences we share (joys, frustrations and truly hilarious toddler moments 😂).
We are trying for a second and the apprehension you describe is something I also struggle with — and we’re not even pregnant yet! I’m sure our hearts only grow with the arrival of #2 and seeing our first kids in a new light as they take on the role of older sibling (at least this is what I tell myself!).
I’m no expert on the subject, but a friend told me that March Madness vasectomies are a real thing: https://www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/news/early-lead/wp/2017/03/17/the-other-march-madness-a-rush-for-vasectomies-during-the-ncaa-tournament/
Maybe timing the procedure around a major tv event will soften the blow??
Congratulations to you and Ali – love seeing your family grow 🙂
So happy for you guys!!!! Congrats to the fullest! Yes, to answer your question, it is a phenomenon – to say the least. It happened to us 3 times! Our oldest is the big sissy to 3 and each and every time, (sometimes after only being away fro the ‘big kids’ for 12 hours )- in they walk and they are bigger, heavier, smarter! The hands and feel always got me! It’s incredible! Never ceases to amaze me! You are blessed….as far as the vasectomy – if you’re both sure – then go for it. It didn’t hurt me one bit (wink-wink). Blessings to you all! Such beauty to behold! Love your stories, videos, blog – all of it!
Vasectomy no big deal my husband had it done on a Friday with a great Urologist. Back to work on Monday. It was nice of my husband to do this for me. A much easier process for men than us moms.
This is SUCH a real feeling! My kids are 20 months apart, and I remember the first time I changed my one-year-old’s diaper after the baby was born, his legs felt like tree trunks! And I swear, he started talking more and listening better when the baby came, too. There were obviously also some growing pains and there still are, but I’ve honestly been astounded by how much my toddler loves his baby sister! From both of your Insta stories, it seems like Molly is taking to Riley in the same way <3
Best of luck in this transition! It’s far from easy, but there’s absolutely nothing like it!
Kevin, thank you for this! I’m delivering baby #2 tomorrow and I woke up today with an unexpected feeling of sadness about the fact that my first baby (who is Molly’s age) won’t be my only baby anymore. It caught me off guard and seeing your post makes me not feel so bad! Don’t get me wrong, I also feel incredibly excited and blessed to be growing my family, but I can’t help but feel a pang of sadness too. I’m glad to see this is a normal feeling. Thank you for sharing! Also, congrats on the arrival of your gorgeous baby boy 🙂.
Such a sweet post! We had our second baby almost 4 months ago and can SO relate to everything you said! When our 2.5 year old son walked into the hospital room to meet his baby brother, we also immediately thought he suddenly looked huge. We felt like he was talking a lot more and more matured as well. It’s so weird. Adjusting to life with two littles is exhausting and challenging, especially trying to split time with them both, but your new normal will fall into place!
I agree with others saying to wait at least a year to get a vasectomy. We thought for sure we were done after this baby and now I’m not so sure. I had a c-section and could have gotten my tubes tied, but I didn’t want to. I sometimes feel like I might want a third. My husband also said he’d get a vasectomy, but we aren’t doing anything permanent until we are FOR SURE we’re done. For now I have an IUD. Congratulations to your beautiful family!
You two literally are the cutest couple I LOVE that you love her so much that you’d write such a sweet post for her so she can get a few more zzzz’s in!!!! Two blessings are wonderful! I have a 14 month old daughter and 9 year old son and their bond is unbelievable!!!! Can’t wait to watch them grow up together cherish every moment and yes a vasectomy is not too bad! My hubby just had his done May 4th and I got to watch it all go down! Very interesting but the recovery isn’t bad if you stay on the couch for at least 48 hrs!!!! But if you know you are done for good with having kids then it’s a great option for birth control!
I experienced the exact same thing!!! My 22 mo went from baby to legit toddler overnight. I think there is a physical comparison thing at play, but you also are more acutely aware of their developmental differences and your older one is suddenly so impressive compared to a newborn. Good luck over the coming weeks – it’s both easier and harder than you imagined!!
Great post!! So nice of you to give Ali a break and it’s also nice and refreshing to hear it from the man/dad’s point of view 🙂
We have a larger age gap between our two kids (5yrs) – so needless to say my son looked huge when his baby sister was born haha. But even with the age gap, they are best of friends and he is great with her. Having a boy and girl myself, it’s the best!!!
My hubby had a vasectomy after our second -about a year after she was born. He had a couple of days of discomfort but for us it was the best decision since we were both happy with our 2 kids and it’s way easier than what’s women have to go through. All in all, he said it wasn’t too bad lol.
Anyways, try and enjoy these early days as a family of four. It will get easier and a routine will start to come.
All the best. You are blessed and have such a beautiful family!!
Congratulation to you both! What a beautiful family you have! I remember feeling very similar to you Kevin when I was pregnant with my second daughter. I had loved the 22 months that my husband and I had spent with our first daughter and I was honestly a little worried that I wouldn’t love my 2nd daughter as much. But the second she was born- my heart opened up wider than I could have ever thought possible.
And as far as Molly goes- I read an article that said that the best gift you could ever give your child is a sibling. Coming from a family of 6 girls, I KNOW this is true! Molly will have a BFF for life! Watching my 3 daughters friendship blossom has been the pleasure of my life!
I can agree with this 100%. My oldest daughter was 21 months when I had my second. Like you said, it seemed like she grew into a big kid over night. It’s funny after changing so many newborn diapers and then going to change my toddler’s, they seem massive. The best part is watching her become a big sister and see how much love she has for her little sister. Congrats to you and your family! You have beautiful children!
Speaking from experience, I had an 18 month old little girl when we brought home our second daughter….I know Molly suddenly feels big these days, but I promise you she’s not. When you look back at these photos I swear you’ll say see she was still such a little baby! But I completely understand the shift you are experiencing. It doesn’t go away. Now our girls are 11 & 10. Our oldest still seems so much older and more mature than her younger sister. But, I know in a few years when I look back at our photos of today, I will see how little they both still are.
Enjoy both of your babies. ❤️
Totally can relate! I’m a mom to 4 now and with each one I had some sadness on the change of out family unit. I also physically didn’t feel like I could love another human being as much as I did my husband and other kids. I was so wrong! It’s amazing how unconditional love works and how much space we have in our hearts! Congrats! P.S. my husband just had a vasectomy. A few bad days but nothing like what your wife experienced 🤣
Congratulations! Your family is beautiful & I love watching your family grow. My husband is a PA at a Urology clinic by the way! Haha! I’m sure he’d love to share some info with you about those procedures. 😉 ✂️
My husband had a vasectomy after our surprise 3rd baby (he’s only 13 months and 3 days younger than his sister) and it was quick and easy. He was off work for a day and he was fine.
YES! I have a 3 year old and a 2.5 month old and everything about my 3 year old was SO BIG KID after baby was born. The way he speaks, the way he acts, even the way he plays was so advanced after baby brother was born. And then of course changing his diapers after changing a newborn’s was just insane. Realizing how big he was, we potty trained right after that. 😜
Kevin, loved you as a guest writer!
I can 💯 relate to what you wrote word for word when you said “her feet were bigger, she felt heavier, etc.” we had a baby girl and my son was 32 months old. I felt the EXACT same way! KJ was a big kid the moment Chloe was born and when he walked into the hospital room to meet her for the first time!
Hi Kevin!
Congrats on your beautiful family of 4 now. It does get a lot easier as time goes by…It’s nice to have a mans perspective on this topic and it’s nice for you to take over for Ali while she rests, even though we would have understood her being out of commission for a few days….I hope all of you are doing great since Riley’s birth. As for The vasectomy please, please, please make sure that both you and Ali are done having children first….if there is any doubts please don’t do it…you two need to be 110 percent sure that your done having children….make sure the vasectomy is what you both want. I can’t stress this enough..I’ve seen so many people regret having The vasectomy after words, and it was to late….Enjoyed your post…thanks again…….
Congratulations to your beautiful family of 4! I cannot agree with you more about how the first born has grown and matured so much after the second one comes ago. I was away from my 2 year old daughter for almost 72 hours while giving birth to our baby boy. And the minute she walks in to visit us, she was no longer our baby girl but has become a mature little girl and older sister (it felt like). It was so strange for us and made us very sad as well. It feels like they grow up even faster after the second one comes along, so enjoy every moment..the good and bad. Wishing you all adjust to the new addition and a quick recovery for Ali!
I laughed out loud when I read the first part about working on the blog during labor. But was also deeply inspired. It is so amazing to witness (or hear about) people with that kind of passion & dedication for any aspect of their life. Just know that no matter how long it takes to get a blog post up, we’ll all still be here waiting when you get back 😊 Congratulations!! Relax & enjoy time with your fam.
PS your husband seriously rocks
That post was absolutely the most sweetest thing I’ve ever read ! What an amazing hubby you have Ali! So happy for y’all and your new family of 4 !!!! You have a gorgeous family !
Thankyou for this lovely post Kevin. Absolutely understanding where you are coming from. Re vasectomy – too early to be thinking about this. Things change and you wouldn’t want to regret it.
Omg! You 4 are the cutest family ever! I swear 😍😍😍😍
It was remarkable to read your remarks as I was just having this conversation with my daughter who is expecting her second. Her little girl will be 19 months when her little brother is born which is the same age difference between my two girls. I remember having the exact same experience as you. Now looking back I have some regrets that I put that on my oldest. Nineteen months is still a baby. Let her be little too. There are times you will need her to step up and act older because you are overwhelmed but let her be her age. Cuddle her, baby her and cherish this age with her too. Believe me, this time is fleeting! Enjoy your beautiful family. I enjoy following Ali’s blog.
I completely agree with you! You will look back and see how little indeed she is – even as smart as she is, she is not yet even 2, potty trained or in school so to let her be little is indeed good advice! – another older mamma
What a sweet post Kevin! Yes, your feelings are entirely normal and I felt that way even after having much more time than you did between kids – 31 months! I think a benefit of having them closer together as you did was they they are less aware of the attention being divided as my older son never “forgave” us for having someone take that attention away! I don’t know if it’s bc of having 2 boys as girls defintely have that gene that makes them more into caring/nurturing it seems than seeing a sibling as someone who is just going to knock down his LEGO tower lol! I had entirely different experience than you and Ali are having – not the 2hrs between sleeping and a toddler walking at 5am! – that was same – but I turned out to not have an amazing partner which became much more apparent after children. So it makes me so happy to see the beautiful babies being brought into the world by 2 beautiful parents who can model and provide exactly what children need: an excellent role model of 2 people who love each other and in doing so can provide a loving, secure, and safe upbringing full of joy and delight – and yes amongst the hard parts of living. The number one thing I can recommend having raised my boys – all on my own – is don’t overcommit! Keeping sane and having time to keep an eye on the priorities is the toughest things these days. Getting enough sleep as you are letting Ali do and saying “Thanks, but no” are the most important things you can do imo. Being present for these days while you’re children are growing up are the only thing that can’t be redone! You two seem to already know that. Congrats on the most beautiful addition to your family and if you need any elder advice on boys, I feel like I’m an expert! Even had male dogs!! #completelyoutnunbered
PS: yes to the V! It seems child rearing doesn’t get any easier – just “different hard” and I think 2 is perfect! But that’s just me
Congratulations Manno Family and welcome Baby Riley. Molly is now a big sister and she’s so smart. She’ll be able to teach her brother many of her milestones.
Kevin you wrote a beautiful post from your heart. Ali is so lucky to have you as a husband and father to your children.
Enjoy your children as you probably already heard they grow up so fast. I’ve experienced myself and now I have grandchildren they are so precious to me.
All the best to your family!
Kevin,
This is so sweet!! Congratulations again enjoy the new memories and being a family of 4. Ali is the best and great post.
Beautiful insight and post.
Congratulations Ali, Kevin, Molly & Owen! Baby Riley is absolutely adorable!
Kevin– my husband had a vasectomy after our 2nd. He was nervous, but it went very well. I was in the room when he had it done, and it was an easy, quick procedure. He took it easy for 2-3 days. Iced the area a little.. And was back to work. My advice– MAKE SURE you go to the follow up and have it tested to make sure ALLL the swimmers (ha!) are gone. A lot of people don’t, and then.. Here comes another baby! Good luck!
Such a sweet husband you are and remind me a lot of mine. And he’s Cubs fan also from Chicago area😄. Your kids look so much alike! They are beautiful and congratulations!!
What a thoughtful and loving thing to do for Ali. I enjoy reading her blog and the love and respect you have for each other. Enjoy this time with special time with your family.
Kevin Manno, do you mean Circumcision ?
Kevin is such a great husband and I was holding back tears. I’m not a mom but I am an auntie to a beautiful little girl named Riley. It wasn’t even weeks inbetween and she went from being a little baby to a toddler and it blew my mind. Where does that come from and it’s so unexpected and almost shocking when you notice. It’s amazing to watch them grow and man does it happen fast. I felt the same way about my niece Kevin, you’re not alone! Little humans are such an incredible blessing in our lives no matter the relation.
I just had my third child on March 10th. My husband and I joke that each time we get home from the hospital we look at our older children (currently 5 and 3) and ask them when they are moving out and getting a job. They go from babies to big kids in a manner of days. The good thing is that they become babies again anytime they get hurt or are sick, so don’t worry baby Molly will be back. Sometimes I think it is kind of nice because I get to see them in a whole new way. And it makes the transition from baby to big sister/brother more real. My kids have responded well to that (so far).
As for your other question, my husband had scheduled his surgery next month. I don’t respond well to birth control and my hubby doesn’t want me having an unnecessary surgery. I look at his decision as being another sign of how he protects me and our family. He’s nervous, but says it will be worth it in the end. Plus we are terribly irresponsible about using protection and don’t want any new surprises. Three is enough for us.
Congratulations!!
I just want to say I completely understand what you had mentioned about how much more of a big girl Molly seemed to be.
I recently had a baby and my kids are also 2 under 2 and what a difference it was.
My son seeemed soooo much older, not a ‘baby’, seemed to suddenly weigh a ton, and I was sad to see him not as such a little baby anymore.
It’s amazing to see the bond they have everyday and the look my daughter, gives to her older brother. She adores him and he adores her.
Yes! A new baby definitely ‘ages’ the one(s) you already have. In more ways than one. My two oldest were 16 months apart and I remember how big my daughter’s cheek seemed, her whole face actually, when I kissed her when she came to the hospital to see her baby brother. From that point, she just seemed so much older, and did things early, too. And then when #3 came along 6 years later, my two oldest were SO old! They are in their 40s/30s now! Hold up on the vasectomy; I was the one to have the surgery after my 3rd and regretted it a few years later. I found that I really would have liked to have another baby, even though I didn’t think it at the time. Now I enjoy my 14 grand babies!
Where is Ali’s nursing tank from in the hospital pic? And congratulations!
Such a sweet post. I’m tearing up as I read this. We also have a baby Molly and another on the way and I sometimes get so sad thinking that she won’t be our only baby anymore but what a great blessing it is to have two babies! And to give Molly the chance to grow in her role as a big sister and watch the bond that siblings share. Congratulations Kevin and Ai!
Kevin-YES! I couldn’t agree more. Our second born, Cole was born 3 months ago and when his big sister walked into the hospital room to meet her little brother, her 17 month old baby body magically turned into a 17 month old adult body in the matter of hours. That newborn diaper next to that size 5 diaper are quite significant. This post is very sweet and I hope you and Ali try to enjoy this time. It’s such an adjustment but you will get into a new rhythm with two children with time. Those last moments as a family of 3 are beautiful and bittersweet. Now your family of 4 is complete and with a little wine and assistance from the grandparents to let you sleep here and there, this will be the greatest time of your life. Sending prayers to you and your sweet family!
My kids are 23mo apart to the day and my husband and I felt the SAME about our first born. He all of a sudden morphed into a big boy right in front of our eyes when he came in to meet his baby sister. I couldn’t believe how huge he felt when I picked him up after holding his peanut sister and how enormous his diapers seemed lol Very emotional for us too! Good luck – you two are wonderful parents and you will find a groove as a family of 4! It’s tough at first but when they start bonding and interacting, nothing compares and makes everything worth it!
Such a sweet post Kevin. I throughly enjoyed reading your perspective for a fathers side. You should fill in for Ali more often !
You have an amazing Family and congratulations to all of you on the birth of your son. He’s so adorable
Congratulations on sweet baby Riley! And I completely agree about the first baby feeling like they grew overnight when you bring the new baby home. We just brought our third baby home 3 months ago, and I can say that it happened both times! When our daughter was born, my son seemed like he grew a foot and got 20 lbs heavier when we returned home from the hospital. Same with regard to our daughter when we brought our youngest son home back in February. The older kids seem so much more mature, too, compared to the new baby. It’s very bittersweet. Enjoy every second with each of your kiddos. Life with two is definitely a game changer, but seeing your kids bond and innately love one another is such a beautiful thing to witness. Just wait till Riley starts looking at Molly like she hung the moon. Trust me, it’s coming, and your heart will burst. Congrats again!
Oh my goodness, I can sooooo relate to the aging of your first one when your second one comes along! Harper was 18 months when Hudson was born, and when she came in with grandma and grandpa were born she looked like she was 5!
Congrats on the birth of Riley! 2 under 2 is hard, but now that Hudson is 10 months old, Im loving they they play together and are creating such a special bond ❤️
A very sweet post!! Two is NO JOKE. But it will get harder and then one day it will incrimentally get easier. At about 2 and 4 yrs old (maybe half the year in), it got FUN! They are besties (older girl and younger boy), and adore each other. They go in the other room and play! And the older does age rapidly at first (to me), but that slowed down too. As far as vasectomies go, if you are set with just two kids like we were – best.decision.ever. It’s honestly fantastic not worrying about a form of birth control. My husband had a little tougher recovery than most, and even at that, it was not bad at all. Well worth it and he tells everyone to do it.
Hi Ali!
My oldest 2, now 23 and 21, were 21 months apart. My youngest is graduating from high school….a whole other story. You need to be sure to sleep and take care of you. :). It is so rewarding, and honestly, challenging. But what a blessing. You have a wonderful husband who is a great supporter.
Kiss those babies and get some rest. Stay hydrated and take a minute for you.
What a sweet post. Thank you for writing this and for showing up as a man and husband.
You are not alone. I had my second when my son was 4. I cried so much because I was sure I wasn’t going to love my newborn daughter as much as I loved him and I was also certain that my time alone with my son was gone. Just the two of us days were over.
Ohhhh Kevin how wrong I was.
I love them both more than my heart can handle sometimes. I have had more time alone with my son than k could imagine, although I will be honest. It comes with effort and planning lol.
Basically, you aren’t alone in your feeling of Molly now being a big kid and their being some sadness. But I am here to tell you what I know you already know…wow how amazing it is to have more than one child. You guys have given Molly a best friend for life!
Congrats to you both
We experienced the same thing when our 2nd daughter was born and our oldest came to visit us in the hospital! It happened again when our 3rd was born! It’s crazy how much they seem to grow up overnight. Hang in there, often the hardest thing about baby #2 is actually your first born! At least from our experience. The stuff that seemed so scary with a newborn the first time around it’s so bad with the 2nd, but then your first needs so much from you and juggling it all is hard! Which brings me to my next point… why we went for three is still crazy to me. So ya start looking into getting that vasectomy! Haha
Congratulations on your beautiful family. Yes, yes, yes to the vasectomy. My hubs had it done in the dark ages with no complications. No offense but I think it’s unfair for folks to put birth control onto the woman. Isn’t carrying the fetus/baby and giving birth enough?! Go for it! You can do it!😍
Kevin & Ali
For so long I have been reading your blog, following your journey and loving you experiences since everything seems so similar to mine! I have a 2.5 year old and an almost 3 month old and yup two kids was a game changer! I especially wanted to comment on what you said Kevin about brining Riley home and Molly aging! I thought I was the only one who thought that!! My 2.5 year old went from my 2 yr old toddler to an adult in the 3 days I was in the hospital !!?! Which was also the first time I was ever away from her… all of a sudden she says 100+ words, knows everything and just shocks me with the changes … I just wanted you both to know your not alone and that the family of 4 is awesome and Ali although I cannot say it gets easier it sure get more manageable and as a super mom like you .. you got this!! Congrats on Riley and good luck with your almost toddler Molly ❤️
Same thing happened to me! When my daughter was born my then 3 year son seemed huge and so much older. I know exactly what you’re talking about, but I can’t put my finger on what exactly it is. Congratulations to you and your family!
I feel the same way about our baby due in six weeks. Our other son is 8 and it’s been just the three of us for 8 years. This was planned and we are so very happy but a part of me will miss just being the 3 of us.
All your feelings about your first baby not being a baby anymore are exactly how my husband and I felt when both the second one and the third one came. They just grow right before your eyes and it’s so bittersweet. Congrats to you all! Beautiful family!
I don’t have children but I distinctly remember my Mom saying how much my older sister looked when she visited Mom and I in the hospital. Her little 3 year old was suddenly a grown up to her and I think she struggled with it a bit at first. Congratulations to all of you! There’s truly nothing better then a new baby in the world! 🙂
The moment I had a second alone with my first born I could not stop apologizing and sobbing to him for the unbalanced amount of time that his new brother took in my day. I couldn’t stop reiterizing how much I loved him and that it will only get better.
Hi, Kevin! Your two little ones are gorgeous and look so much alike. I must agree with your observation. What I remember is that the older sibling’s head looked enormous, like weird and out of proportion. That impression didn’t last long. I think it’s just like you said about the comparison to the baby’s smallness. Also, I went through a little sadness with each baby thinking I would neglect the previous one. I remember thinking I only have two hands. So when I was expecting my daughter after two sons, I panicked thinking, how can I hold all of their hands at one time?? So silly. Never really happened. Plenty of time for all of them!! You are such a sensitive and loving Dad!! I just love that you think the way you do. Keep it up! And congrats to Ali!!
What a wonderful post! It actually brought tears to my eyes. We will be welcoming baby number two in July and our son will be 23 months. I am so thankful and excited to become a family of 4 but I also feel a bit of sadness at the same time! I know our son will seem so grown up once his baby brother or sister arrives.
My girls are also 22 months apart and it is the BEST age gap!! They get along SO well and I do agree that the older once suddenly seems like a huge kid. Best of luck as you adjust to 2 under 2!!
Kevin,
This is such a sweet gift to give Ali, this blog post moved me to tears. I am a mother of three beautiful girl’s and I can relate 100% my oldest was almost 4 when I had my second so I didn’t really feel like she was any bigger just because the age gap was so big but my middle daughter was only 15 month’s when we got pregnant with my third. My pregnancy was EXTREMELY rough I had hyperemesis and other medical issue that led to picc lines and so on. So I felt like I had missed so much of my middle daughters toddler stage and when my youngest was born my middle daughter was now 2 years old. I never really got to hold her during my pregnancy because of all the health issues so when I held her for the first time after the baby was born my heart was kinda heavy… It felt like my baby girl was gone and I never really got to enjoy her… Ya know? My mom took care of my girl’s most of my pregnancy so it was extremely hard to see them both so much more mature than before I was pregnant. But now that our family is complete I try to soak up every moment! Congratulations on baby #2 you guy’s are AMAZING parent’s!
Congratulations on your baby boy! I have 3 kiddos and pregnant with #4 and I can completely relate to the mixed emotions about adding another little one into the mix. It’s totally normal to kinda grieve what was while still appreciating the new addition. It takes a couple months to adjust and then you get in your new groove and love the dynamics again. I wish people were more open about the adjustments. It’s completely normal and part of change. Blessings on your beautiful fam! I think your wife is such a beautiful soul and obviously gorgeous as well.
Congratulations
Your family is beautiful 💙💗
Yes absolutely…that totally happens. It’s all bittersweet when u r bringing home a new baby. I am a single mom of 3 boys. 7, 3, and 13 months. I noticed it way more when I brought my last baby home. My then 2 year old was my baby and had so many changes happening around him and then I blinked .. he was this big independent talker and doer and he needed different things. He wasn’t as glued to me or as needy as I thought he would be. Don’t get me wrong going from 2-3 was absolutely hard and exhausting but after a year as a mom of 3 I have learned to just accept that he will be my big baby who loves to cuddle if I just ask. And as for my youngest I’m already very sad that he just started walking. As little as he is he already seems like a big boy. 💙💙💙
I’m not sure if you Kevin and Ali actually read all the posts but trust me in a couple of years you will look back at all pictures and realize Molly was still a baby too. I think most parents think the first born is so grown up as I did feel the same. I laugh at myself now for thinking the very same thing. Thanks for sharing as you always seem to bring a smile to my face !
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
Congrats you have a beautiful family love he name
Congratulations! This is so sweet. Ali is extremely dedicated, it’s obvious how much she cares. And that’s sweet of you to support her through it. I know it might sound weird because we don’t know you personally but your posts and insta stories bring joy and inspiration. Thank you for sharing your lives with us. It’s such a bright spot.
We just had our third baby about 1.5 weeks ago and had the EXACT emotions about our second, who is 23 months (so almost the exact gap between Molly and Riley). Especially the feet… his feet seem so much bigger, his legs, his diapers.. everything. It’s crazy to see the difference between “babies” and newborns!
If you’re done having kids, my husband said, “take the factory out and put the playground in”. 😀
Love the post by your husband…what a sweetie.
Also, wanted to say, I also have a newborn boy and almost 2 year old girl. We are just alike in the family dynamics. We just did our newborn photoshoot as well and while I was sooooo excited for it with such high expectations, it was horrible. My almost 2 year old was so incredibly fussy (even after bribing her with candy when she NEVER gets sugar), my newborn was also fussy (which is very rare), and I was just very discouraged. I also agree it’s impossible to rest with second child. With my first I slept everytime my newborn slept, but it’s literally impossible second time around when you’re changing around a busy toddler. You’re not alone and it felt good to hear literally the exact same experiences. Mama life with 2 under 2 is tough work but amazing. Love to hear other encouragement from other mamas as we all need to stick together and be there for each other. Congrats on ur sweet babyboy. What a beautiful family!!
First of all, CONGRATS!
… and I can completely relate! My first Daughter was also born July 2016 and I just had our second Daughter on May 18th. Seeing my oldest for the first time since having our 2nd gave me the same feelings. All of sudden she was so much older and bigger than I ever felt she was.
How is Molly doing with Riley?? Our’s is still learning the concept of ‘gentle’ lol .. it’s a work in progress 😜
I’m hoping Ali is recovering well and love seeing any updates from you guys since I’m in such familiar shoes. Congrats again!
Lovely post! All of it’s true. My daughter was 23 months when my son was born. She was my baby then bam it’s like she was 5. Everything you’ve written was true for us. My husband is also looking at getting a vasectomy
This was Such a sweet and true post. I had my two oldest 19 months apart and felt the same way as he was brought into the room after having our second. Also having 2 kids close together is a challenge yet they will be the best of friends. Mine are now 8&6 and still stand up for one another and have each other’s backs. We waited 5 years and then got twins!! Ps vasectomy after the twins and the hubby reports it wasn’t that bad. 😏😉
Congratulations on your beautiful family. Love how down to earth you both are and relatable.
Hi Ali! I have two boys, 20 months apart. They are now almost three and 14 months. The first month I felt like I was drowning. It was the hardest thing I had ever done. My oldest was super acting up, decided he would only take naps if someone was with him and was just so naughty! I was really just going hour by hour and hoping we would all survive. But around a month, month and a half we all got in a groove and we lived! Now they play together (mostly well!) and are so fun! I love having them so close now! You can do it! You’ll find your groove and rock this thing!!!
Yes! Definitely felt this when we had #2! Our first was a week shy of 2 when his little brother arrived, and instantly went from being our baby to our big kid! What I love now (4 yrs later) is looking back on videos and photos and realizing how little #1 actually was! Enjoy this time with both of them!
#1. Congratulations on becoming a family of 4! What an accomplishment and such and incrediably journey 💕
#2. You are so sweet to allow Ali to rest. It is awesome to read your perspective every now and then on things!
#3. I completely agree on feeling a little sad about your baby (Molly) no longer being the baby! Although my husband and I only have 1 baby right now, I felt the same way when our neice was born. Our nephew had always been the baby and it was so bitter sweet to welcome a new “baby” into the family! He seemed bigger, more grown up, I noticed more teeth! It was wild – you are not alone!
#4. Please write more often! And thank you for sharing your story ☺️
Not sure why anyone would stay home more than a day after a vasectomy, but definitely go. No husband went with 3 of our friends, all had different doctors and all were back to work the next day.
Such a sweet dedication to your new baby, your first baby and your wife. My girls are 15 month’s apart. My baby was just a baby when her sister was born. It was honestly the most difficult but most memorable time of my life. 2 babies under 2 in diapers, both 100% dependent on me and their daddy… At times I felt like I would loose my mind, and others was pure joy. It’s an amazing journey, enjoy every moment. Having as sibling is an amazing life experience and both Molly and Riley are so blessed. Enjoy!! 🙂 I promise it gets easier! Lol
Beautiful post! I don’t have any comments about the questions because I only have one child (21 months) and still trying to mentally plan for #2!
Omg, so true!! It’s a strange transition with the firstborn to view yourselves as parents, and then with the second you already are, so not such a big deal… Second time around to view your firstborn as the big sister/brother is something you don’t really prepare for… Maybe just being busy with a toddler, and worrying about how they will react to the new baby, it never really crosses your mind of how you will react to seeing the oldest in a different light… Either way, seeing them love each other as siblings as the months go on is amazing!!! Trying for a third soon, wondering what surprises are in store if any, lol!
My daughter and son are 2 years and 5 days apart so I can relate to your story! I felt sad she would no longer be our “one and only” but excited for Baby Boy to come. Our hospital stay was the longest we’ve ever been away from her and when she came to visit she had changed, everything had changed. It aged her, like you said, and I missed her as “the baby”. But Baby Brother made our family while and complete… there are definitely challenges with the two so close in age but we love it (despite lack of sleep). One year later- it goes by way faster with the second! Enjoy every moment with those two cuties. ❤ Molly is sooooo similar to my daughter btw! The singing, personality, love her😊
I remember coming home and changing my sons diaper right after I gave birth to my daughter. It was insane – those legs, his bum, it all was huge compared to when I left the house 24 hours before! My kids are 21 months apart. My son is 3 and daughter is 1…. it’s freaking hard but so worth it. Side note – my husband got a vasectomy Friday and his balls still are sore… tmi? But so freaking worth it!!! DO IT!!!!!!!
Congratulations on the perfect family of four!
What a sweet blog! Ali is so lucky to have you! Yes it’s crazy how your youngest literally seems to grow up over night. We experienced this as well. It does seem strange going from a family of 3 to a family of 4. You eventually get into a great rhythm and cannot imagine it any differently. That’s once you get over sleep deprivation and your youngest has adjusted to having a sibling. I watched my sweet daughter (about Molly’s age back then) start biting and pinching her baby sister. I could not believe it! It was an adjustment phase for her too. She was just so use to getting all the love and attention. I soon figured out including her in as my little helper and praising her lots really helped. I remember asking my mother-in-law (before 2nd birth)… How will I ever have enough love for them both. I just loved my 1st so much. She just told me “You just do”. Well she was right! They are now 21 and 19. Parenting has been very challenging at many different stages, but thankfully you learn to just take it day by day. Ali… get as much rest as possible. Your family & fans will love you through it all. I promise it gets easier!
As for the topic of the vasectomy…I told my husband it was his job to get a vasectomy, as its much longer for women to recover and I had two difficult pregnancies and extremely exhausting natural birth’s… so the best gift he could give to me was for him to get looked after. He did…and I took care of him for a few days in bed with a big bag of pees, lol. Best gift ever!!!
Congratulations to you both on your sweet little family!! Wishing you all the best!!!! Xo
Congratulations!!! We too just had our 2nd. We have been almost on the same schedule with you guys- our daughter was 20 months when we had our son who is now turning 2 months in the next couple of days. We definitely felt the same way. I felt so guilty during the last few months of pregnancy that I wasn’t going to be able to give her 100% of my attention anymore. Our daughter is super attached to me and I was afraid what she would feel seeing my nurse our son and not be able to hold her all the time or play with her as much as I do.
It’s a normal feeling. It’s crazy though because it is a mixture of emotions. Now she is our little helper. She loves helping and she isn’t our “little baby” anymore, I mean she’ll always be our baby, but like you said, she seems like a big girl.
Congrats again and enjoy them! So nice of you for doing this for Ali and Ali, hang in there. Our daughter woke up to feed every 1.5 hrs to 2 hrs round the clock. Just remember it’s temporary. I eventually worked real hard to cut the night feeding to finally sleep but it was hard and took awhile. Thankfully our son sleeps and is super chill so it’s a huge difference.
Thanks Ali and Kevin for sharing your lives with us. It reminds us that we are not alone. You guys are doing a wonderful job raising these little ones. Keep it up!
What a beautiful and very relatable post. I’m currently on maternity leave withy 3 week old and have a 16 month old. There were so many nights I cried about how my 16 mo would not get the love and attention he gets now and I told my husband that we have got to make sure that things don’t change when the new baby arrives. The worst was the night before my induction and I couldn’t stop crying thinking about losing my baby- I really, even at that time didn’t think I was ready for another child.
When I got home from the hospital my son came up to the car and just sat in my lap before I could even stand up, that just filled me with joy after being away for a few days. That night I checked on him in his crib and couldn’t believe the size of him- when did a toddler arrive in my life. When did he get so big?!
I thought it was just a mom feeling and it’s so nice to hear it from a dad. I’m sure my husband has felt the same thing and you just spoke his words.
Congratulations to all of you and enjoy the moments, crazy watching your oldest begin the interact with the baby.
We have a 22 month old little boy and we just had a little girl 5 weeks ago. We completely feel the same way you guys do as far as struggling with our oldest not being the “baby” anymore. He grew up over night and definitely looks so big now. Two is great though! Our 22 month old is still our baby though, just in a different way now.
I love this post. What a GUY writing on your blog! I love your honesty and keeping it real Kevin. Congratulations to both of you. I love following your family. I’ve been married for 29 years, and I’m a Mom to girl and boy twins who will be 24 in July! I can’t even believe it or how fast it went. Going backwards first, my husband decided it would be a good decision for our instant family if he got a vasectomy. I had an emergency c section and almost died. It was hard for me initially to get on board with this decision, but I can honestly say, I’m glad I did. We have an amazing family of four. Be absolutely sure you two before you make the decision. I also want you guys to know you’ve got this parent of 2 thing!! So much love shines through. Going forward, I wanted to share with you my daughter got married last July and my son is getting married this July (twins birthday month) and we just found out a few days ago my daughter is pregnant. We’re just reeling with joy from all of these blessings in our family. Looking forward to you guys helping a rusty young Mom to becoming a hip awesome Grandma ❤️
Kevin, this is such a sweet post. It brings tears to my eyes every time you write a post for Ali, like that for her birthday I think a couple of years ago. You must be one of the nicest guys out there and I am so happy you and Ali found each other and now have this beautiful family.
I can’t relate as I only have one baby for now, but when I think about having more a part of me wonders how could I possibly love someone else this much and worry about taking time away from him.. is that weird?
Congrats again for the birth of baby Riley (beautiful name btw)
Kevin OMG your one AMAZING HUSBAND/DAD ,
IM so glad You and Ali crossed paths you two are just perfect for each other , and I would be so sad to see either one one of you sad in a relationship cuz both of you are awesome. Its so nice of to write for Ali , you two are such a great team together. Riley is such a cute name I love it , he’s such a handsome fella , I wish your family all the best , and hope Molly doesn’t feel left out . Looking forward to seeing more pics. Thanks for being such a great
Husband/DAD 💙
The same thing happened to me when my husband and I had our second boy when our oldest boy was 21.5 months old. He seemed so big right away. My advice would be to remember how old Molly is, she is still young. I made the mistake since my oldest looked so big that I treated him like he was older and expected more of him. I didn’t realize I actually did that when our second was around 2 years old. Congratulations on your growing family!
To be a guy and not only HAVE these feelings, but be able to so beautifully express and communicate them?! Ali is very blessed indeed! Your lil ones look SO much like you it’s unreal! (Especially their sweet eyes!) You seem like a wonderful husband, and a hands on, fun, very cool dad! Enjoy every stage of your lil ones, it flies by.💞
This made me cry! I definitely agree with the “aging your first kid” feeling. My second was born 3 weeks ago and I have a 2 year old (25 months apart to be exact). I was putting my oldest to bed and he felt sooooo heavy! It made me sad but proud at the same time that my husband and I raised a perfectly sweet first son, and now blessed with another healthy baby boy! Congratulations to you 2!!
Chrissy
Hi Kevin! You’re a great husband and father! In regards to the vasectomy, after having 2 boys, my husband had it done and it was a very simple procedure (outpatient) and the recovery was very short. My husband got painkillers, which he only used right after the procedure and the day after. He did not experience any major pain or long recovery. It was quick!!! He would recommend it. Our agreement before we got married was, I’ll give birth to our children and you’ll do the sterilization (in his case, a vasectomy). And that’s how we did it. Hope this helps!!
Congratulations! Yes!! Your first born from here on out will always, at every age and stage, feel more mature and older than your baby ever will. Not sure why but it is definitely a thing. You will expect more of her and she will rise to the occasion. Allow yourselves that moment to grieve that your time alone with Molly has come to an end, it is ok and perfectly natural to feel that way. It does not take away from your love for Riley.
Also — vasectomy — if you are truly done having kids — is the way to go. Minimal recovery with fantastic results. Just make sure to go for your checks to make sure all swimmers have been eliminated ;). Enjoy this time and allow yourselves to admit that it is damn hard but short-lived.
Such a sweet post. Ali deserves a break and should take the time to rest. So thoughtful of you to write a post for her. It is very true what you say about Molly looking huge to you now. I remember feeling the same when i brought my second son home. I would hold my first born and think, you are so tall now, so mature… it made me sad sometimes. These first few weeks with two are tough for sure. But i promise it goes by so quickly and gets easier. Congrats to your beautiful family, you guys are both doing great! With respect to your vasectomy… i would suggest waiting…. its common to think about this when you have a second and feel completely drained… but i would wait it out until you are 100 percent.
You never realize how much the heart can love until these moments. It has been just about 21 years since I felt this exact same about my first born when #2 came along. Right when she entered the hospital room after we had the baby, I couldn’t get over how big and old she looked and I, too, immediately missed my baby. I always tell this to friends who are about to have their second child too. Then 7 years later and we had a little boy and the day we brought him home , my oldest daughter said “ I couldn’t imagjne life without him” He completed our family❤️ So happy for you and your family!
Hi Ali! I’m a surviving mom of 2 under 2! My kids now 2 and 1 and 15 months apart. Some days are hard because you technically still have 2 babies! Most days my oldest also wants to be carried so you figure out carrying 2 around eveywhereeeeee and thankful for not having to go to the gym because your constantly working out 😉. BUT those days come far and few between and as their bond grows it’s an amazing thing and makes it all worth it. YOU CAN DO IT MAMA!!! Congrats on your new little Prince 💙
Congratulations!! I know the feeling, our babies are 15 months apart and we were away for 3 days because I had a C-section. Being so close I felt like I was robbing my oldest, but once she met her little brother there was an instant bond that is still evident now that they are 2 and 3. She took on the role of big sister and never looked back. We did make time for Mommy and daughter\daddy and daughter time to ensure she was still getting one on one time. When we would run errands we would take her, and yes the errand took longer, but it was worth it to have that time, it also gave the other parent more time to just focus on the other one and build that bond.
It goes by fast and the first 3 months are the hardest to get in the groove and find that balance, but it’s so fun watching them build their bond and friendship. So excited for your family of 4!!
Also my hubby got a vasectomy when our son was a month, just make sure you have someone there to help because you won’t be able to lift for at least 3 days if not a week, and Ali will need help!!
Way to Go Mr. Guest Writer! You expressed yourself & your feelings with such warmth & charm.
You are a GEM of a Husband & a Father!
Please give Ali a gentle hug from me.
one for Molly & Riley too.
xo
p.s and an extra treat for Owen. 🙂
CONGRATULATIONS you two!!!So excited for the both of you! Your children are absolutely adorable. Wishing you all the best.
Love,
Ashley
Such a sweet post! It really is amazing how a new baby makes your other kids age so quickly! There is nothing more special than watching the bond between siblings grow though. Also, look into the scalpel-less vasectomy technique. It’s so quick and easy and mostly painless. I was actually a little mad that it wasn’t more painful for my husband because I felt like he earned a little pain after I delivered 4 babies! Haha!
Congrats on your beautiful new son and becoming a family of 4. I recently gave birth to my second and 1st son almost 6 months ago. I however have an age gap of 4 years, but you still frel the same and see your first born grow up instanly. My daughter wasnt my baby anymore, she was a very big girl and great helpful big sister. Its amazing how much your heart grows when you have a second.
Hi Ali
Congratulations for you and for your husband on the arrival of Riley. Happy that you are safe.
I love the look of Molly turned to her little brother… It promises tasty moments of laugh :))
Je vous embrasse !
Oh my! So many comments and so much love for you guys! I have two boys 20 months apart. From the moment we found out we were expecting our first son we knew we would have one more child and be done. It was never a question. When it was close to the delivery date of our 2nd son, we made my husbands vasectomy appointment for two weeks later. We figured we would heal together! We were at peace and happy with our decision. Fast forward 4 years and I constantly ask him if he will get a reversal so we can have two more babies! Haha! He says no way and he is still 100% happy with our decision to cut it off at two – literally! 😜 His healing process was easy and fast. Congratulations on your beautiful family!
Love. ❤
My children are 20 months apart (now 19 and 17 😞) but I remember thinking the same thing about my daughter when we brought my son home. Congratulations to your beautiful family!! 💙 Enjoy every minute, trust me it goes by so fast!!!
I went through the same thing. Suddenly she looked taller and weighed more too. And she was one who always walked around in just a diaper, and after I brought home sissy I now saw her as a toddler not a baby, and that wearing only diapers wasn’t okay anymore. But like you, I was sad for my oldest. Till this day, almost a year later, I still feel sad. I have been struggling with getting into a new groove of dividing time up along with being what feels like a single mom. Before she was born I told my husband that on my weekends off I wanted to take a couple hours to spend with just the oldest to keep our relationship strong. NOT once did I get that. I hate it, I resent him for not being there to support the needs of what she needed and what I needed. Our relationship is not the same, and it truly saddens me. I hope that you read this and if it hasn’t crossed your mind before that it does now. Please, dedicate alone time with Molly!!