Today is Molly’s 1 month birthday! I can’t believe it. Some nights have felt long, but overall the month has flown by. As Kevin put it this morning, she’s 1/12th of the way to a year old! Ha! We already feel like she’s growing up too fast.
This month has been a mix of emotions. Mostly happy ones, but some tears too – both Molly’s and mine. The first couple weeks were exhausting but I was running on adrenaline so I really felt like I was on cloud nine. They were the most exciting and wonderful weeks of my life. My first two weeks as a mom and the first two weeks of our family of four (we still think of our poochie Owen as our first child). I will always remember those first couple weeks as some of the happiest moments of my life!
The 3rd week was probably the hardest yet. Molly was cluster feeding a lot and she was waking up every 1.5-2 hours to feed during the night. I could barely keep my eyes open during the day I was so exhausted. I would force myself to get up and get ready some days – just so I would feel like myself. I had two breakdowns that week. One night I broke down in tears over vaccinations. I just wish there was a “right” answer when it comes to when we should do them. I cried my eyes out to Kevin while watching Molly sleep because I just wanted some “all knowing” doctor to tell us what to do. To tell us what’s best for Molly. Unfortunately that almighty doctor doesn’t exist. I know vaccines are a polarizing topic and I’m not going to share what Kevin and I decide for Molly because I don’t want to be judged and ultimately we are going to do what we feel is best for her.
The night after that breakdown I had a second breakdown. But this one was about Owen. I love Owen more than I can explain and having Molly around has been a huge adjustment for him. He loves his sister so much! Really. It’s adorable how he ALWAYS has to be next to her. When he comes home from a walk with Kevin, he used to sprint into the house to greet me. Now he runs right by me and goes straight to Molly. He is so protective of her. That said, I can tell he misses getting all our attention. It breaks my heart when he looks at me with his puppy dog eyes while I’m feeding Molly and I can’t go to him. I have to put Molly first and to be honest it’s hard sometimes. Not because I don’t want to completely care for and love on Molly, but because I want to give Owen the same attention I used to and can’t. If you’ve never had a dog then you might think I’m crazy. But all you dog lovers out there are totally going to understand where I’m coming from. The weird thing is that SO many of our friends with dogs and children told us that we wouldn’t care about Owen as much once Molly came. That couldn’t be more untrue for us. We love Owen more than ever because we see how much he loves Molly. He is as big a part of our family as ever. So my point is, I had a little breakdown for Owen one night. I want him to feel as loved as he did before Molly came into our lives. I think he is slowly adapting, but it’s still hard.
Since those two breakdowns were two nights in a row, I was a little worried during that 3rd week that it would be a nightly thing. Thankfully it wasn’t and I haven’t cried since. But I’m sure there will be more tears in my future as we grow with Molly. Generally, we have been super happy! Week four was a great week for us! Molly slept 5 hours a few nights in a row!!! Getting those 4 hours of sleep (we don’t fall asleep RIGHT when she does) was such a game changer! I am hoping she continues to move in this direction but I am ready for anything to happen. I think trying to stretch out her feeding to every 2.5-3 hours has really helped. I used to feed her EVERY time she cried. Now we try to figure out if she needs something else before feeding her. Maybe she needs a diaper change or just wants to be cuddled and comforted. We are all learning every single day what works best for Molly.
Overall I find that being a mom doesn’t mean that I can’t do the things I used to to. In fact, Kevin, Molly, and I went to a Dodgers game last night because Kevin’s work got a suite so we figured – why not! I still put on makeup most days and get dressed if I’m leaving the house. A lot of people have criticized me on Instagram (and A TON of people have supported me! Love you guys!) saying that I am not portraying what it’s like to be a “real mom”. Well, I really don’t understand those people because I am a real mom. Just because I was on a reality show and run a fashion blog doesn’t mean that I don’t go through all the things that other moms do. We don’t have a nanny, I don’t have a trainer to get back in shape, heck we don’t even have our parents out here in LA to help us and babysit. Kevin and I are really doing this alone and I am so proud of us for still LIVING! Just because we have a baby doesn’t mean we have to walk around in PJ’s (although if you follow me on snapchat you’d know I do go on walks in my PJ’s sometimes. Ha!) and we don’t have to look like a hot mess all the time just because we’re parents. So in the end I hope I don’t make moms feel like I’m showing them a life that isn’t real. I hope I’m inspiring moms and helping them feel like they can still be themselves and not “just” a mom. I love my new title as mom but I love plain old me too 🙂 Also please know that I choose my prettiest photos for instagram. Of course that’s not me ALL the time. Follow my instagram story or follow me on snapchat and you’ll see the everyday me. Both dressed up and looking “hot mess” 😉 Follow me on snapchat at AliFedotowsky.
So thank you for following me, Kevin, Molly, and Owen on this crazy journey. We love you guys and can’t thank you enough for all the love and support! Happy 1 month birthday Molly! In the words of my niece Lennon, “We love you as big as the world and bigger!”
xoxo Ali
As I do in almost all my blog, I am going to end this post with some of my must have products! Since the Nordstrom Sale ends tomorrow I thought I should share some of my favorite baby picks form the sale! So here they are:
I wrote about the Zo-Li Nail trimmer before. I would NOT be able to cute Molly’s nails without it for fear I would cut her little fingers! We use the Zo-Li buffer every few days to buff down her nails with no chance of a boo boo! I love that it’s part of the sale! But the sale ends tomorrow so get yours now!
My friend who is a chef recommended the Babycook baby food maker. I guess you can steam the food in minutes in there and then blend it up for the baby. We bought it from the Nsale but haven’t used it yet because Molly isn’t eating regular food yet. Just breast milk for now! To get any of the other items I love from the Nsale. Just click on the photos!
Hi Ali! I can absolutely, totally relate to your love for Owen and Molly. We adopted our four legged baby (Hurley) about a year before our daughter (Eliana) was born. He also got out undivided attention. When I was pregnant, I had a HUGE meltdown because one of my biggest fears was that Eliana would have an allergy to dogs and I would have to make a very tough decision. I was so scared!! Most people, even some dog owners, might not understand unless they love their pets like we do. They are family!!! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your journey as a new mom. I remember those cluster feedings and sleepless nights. My daughter just turned 2 in June and the amazing adventure continues, with a little more sleep! 🙂
Going to be that person- I know you are in California and it’s become a huge trend there to not vaccinate (hence the outbreaks) but please vaccinate Molly. Don’t put her at risk. Don’t put other children at risk. Your family is very lucky and if something happened to Molly you would be able to afford the best care. Other families aren’t. Vaccinations are all they can count on to fight off many disease.
Thank you for this.
100% agree. A decision to not vaccinate doesn’t just affect you’re baby, it affects other people’s precious babies who might not have the option to vaccinate due to other health issues.
Sorry! *your
She didn’t say whether they had decided to vaccinate, space them out or not vaccinate at all. Why do you asume that they decided against vaccines?
Obviously she’s struggling with the choice or she wouldn’t have been upset. I’ve vaccinated both of my sons and it wasn’t something I cried over. It wasn’t even something my husband and I had to even discuss.
Totally agree!
Great post Ali! I love your snaps and know you aren’t always done up! I am due in two months with a little girl and we have a dog too so I have a feeling we will feel the same way about her when the baby is born! Glad the first month has been mostly good times you for four. You give me hope for my first month!
Hi Ali, I love reading your blog posts! Like you, I had my beautiful daughter on the 3rd of July so she’s a few days past her 1 month mark
It’s been such a joy for us but a challenge especially at nights as she feeds about every 2hrs plus I’m trying to get her to put on a bit more weight as she weighed 6lb9oz at birth
It’s such a tough job being a mum but I still try as best as I can (clearly not as much as before) to take pride in my appearance.
If you don’t mind me asking, How much has Molly gained in her 1st month?
Molly is beautiful! You’re doing an amazing job! Don’t worry about what anyone says! 🙂
Ali,
I totally feel you on not giving Owen as much attention. Zak will be a month tomorrow and I feel like our dog Tyson really misses "puppy and mommy" time. It makes me sad that when he brings me his rope while I’m nursing & I can’t go full out and play with him. But he totally loves his little brother!
Love your blog and love seeing Molly grow! 🙂
Hi Ali,
My daughter Remy is 3 and half months old and I relate SO much with this post. Goose is my first born dog son and it has been a rough transition. We love him so much! I also LOVE that you are showing that you can STILL BE YOU and be a mom too. One of my biggest fears was losing ME in the process of having my daughter. It is hard. It takes effort and energy and intention. But it can be done. I think you are doing a great job with both of your kiddos, and I love following your little family via the web. XO
Mandy
Love the blog! Vaccines are definitely a tricky subject! Read up on the blood-brain barrier and that may help you decide when it’s right for you. Also, if you’re worried about the autism/vaccine issue, you can have her genetically tested. People with the mthfr mutation are predisposed to many conditions, including autism.
There’s so much about vaccines, so you guys are doing the right thing by deciding what’s best for you all.
And from what I can tell, you’re a great mom! Only you can love Molly like you do too! Congratulations on your little girl! She’s a doll!
Hi Ali!!!
I have been there with the breakdowns over vaccines. Just know you are Molly’s mom and whatever YOU and Keven decide will be what’s best for her!! You are doing a great job!!
Usually 3 weeks is a growth spurt btw ? She’ll be going through another one soon. My son is 7.5 months and is still up at least 3-4 times a night ??
Ali, I haven’t ever commented on your Instagram but love your posts and blog. I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant and it’s been fun and "real" to see you go from your pregnancy journey to a mom. I’ve never understood women putting other women down for getting ready and doing things that make them feel good. I’ve always gotten ready prior to being pregnant and people would tell me just wait you’ll stop wearing makeup and doing your hair. And guess what THAT hasn’t changed for me and I don’t plan on it changing after my little girl is here. I don’t get ready for others I get ready for myself and it makes ME feel good. Keep being your authentic self we love you for it. Your little girl is adorable! Congrats to all of you!
You are gonna worry about every single decision you make for her for the rest of your life. I always second guess myself bc I look at my daughter and feel so overwhelmed making these important decisions and I just want the best for her. I also felt so much better when I spaced out her feedings more. Some hardcore breast feeding people made me feel bad about that but my lactation consultant who I loved and totally trusted was the one that suggested it. Of course if no other soothing method worked I would feed eventually but I felt so much better when I felt I had more time in between feedings. You’re doing great.
As a mom of 3 almost grown sons….we were married for 12 years before that 1st one was born. And we had a very spoiled toy poodle. Our true "1st born!" I totally understand where you’re coming from. And you are spot on doing and feeling the way you do. Trust your instincts❣
Hi Ali, I’ve never read your blog but wandered here tonight and I’m glad I did… Our pups were our family long before our sweet boy MacAllister (4 months) and they’ll always be our first family. It breaks my heart to hear people say, the dog becomes just the dog… We just go on family walks, family toss in the back yard and I can’t wait for Mack to love them as much as we do. Secondly, I completely agree- get up, get dressed.. feel normal. We are lucky to have good babies that allow us to do that so take advantage of it for your sanity! As far as vaccinations, organic and synthetics.. it’s sad that we have to fear like this but that is another issue. Do the best you can as often as you can. You can’t be perfect, there is so much out of your control so let go of those things. I actually have a friend whose full name is Molly Elizabeth Sullivan, I love your little ones name. Keep on moming!
Oh Ali, you’re doing a great job! It must be so hard being scrutinised by strangers for the smallest things. Thanks for sharing your journey. The third week is definitely a wake up call, and when they have a growth spurt at around 6 weeks. You’re doing great! Totally understand as dog-mummy too ☺️
And yes the vaccination thing brought me to tears too initially.. It’s a hard situation with so much conflicting information out there. In the end we all have to do what we believe is best, and I respect you so much for keeping your decision personal.
Happy 1 month bday! Lots of love to the 4 of you ❤️❤️
This blog made me really sad. Why in the world would you not want to protect Molly? I hope she wont get sick.
Hope you rethink this.
Where in the world did you get the idea she didn’t want to protect Molly? Nothing even remotely said gave me that idea. Her blog made me smile and appreciate what a good mom she is
Ali, love seeing your pics and reading your blog. You’re still my favorite bachelorette!! First of all, please don’t listen to the naysayers and the people who want to criticize, no matter what you do they will always be there.
As far as vaccines, I agree with Adria. Do your research and atleast space them. It was not an issue when my kids were little, but shortly after I got three vaccines to go out of the country, I developed an autoimmune condition. I understand your hesitation!
As far as the crying goes, give yourself a break, your hormones are just adjusting, and lack of sleep doesn’t help! Sometimes it gets harder before it gets better, but just remember it does get better. My daughter had colic, so the hardest part was the first three months.
You have a beautiful family! Enjoy this time
Dr Sears has an amazing alternate vaccine schedule…and it only gives our sweet one 1 vaccine at a time once a month…def. check it out. DO’s are very holistic in their approaches towards such subjects. I feel your pain with those decisions! I’m a SAHM and you are so totally real. Continue blessing us with your life….and having only a S.O and no family near you IS hard. Keep up the awesome work!
Hi Ali!! Love your blog a lot! I’m a dog mom and I really undestand you about your feelings for Owen. Listen, babies go by some periods of fast growing and the third week is one of them. You will see others to come, so try not to strees because it is normal to happen an Molly will breastfeed more frequently. Love that you are trying to be your best! Take care!!
Thanks for being real and sharing your beautiful life! Mom of three not parents to babysit or trainers to get in shape either haha.
Awww Ali. You said this perfectly. I love your honesty. I had tears as well. Exhaustion and hormones can make you have moments. My son is almost 2 now and it flies. He didn’t start sleeping through the night until 19 months. When you are comfortable taking her in public, go out as often as possible. Once she starts walking it is not as easy.
Thank you for sharing and being real! Please don’t listen to all the mom-shakers! You are doing great and every baby is different. I breastfed my son for 14 months and I had so much mom judgement and shaming because he was colic for 12 weeks and woke every 2-3 hours for the first 11 months of his life to nurse. I felt like a horrible mom because j was always told you aren’t doing something right. My son refused a bottle at daycare so he nursed all night to make up for it and I was okay with it. Whatever you do for Mollie is okay. You are her mommy and you know her best! I applaud you for being so open as I quit talking because I hated being told what I should or shouldn’t be doing! Great job momma! It does get easier but those first 3 months are rough 🙂
I struggled with what to do with vaccines as well, but then we talked to our doctor about spacing them out so he wouldn’t get them all at once. They were so supportive and I felt so much better about it. You just have to go to the dr a little bit more in the beginning but worth it. Also I always (and still) need to leave the room when he gets his shots, my husband can handle it way better than me!! Good luck! You have so many hard decisions to make ahead of you and just do what works best for YOU!!
Ali I’ve been following you since you were on the bachelor and have always been a fan! You’re real and down to earth. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to wear make up and feel yourself again! My baby girl is almost 12 months and for us the first few months were relatively easy (for US) and I wore make up almost every day because I could and wanted to, and then she became mobile and that seemed to be a game changer ha ha. Every baby is different, and every mom is different. All that matters in the end is that you love Molly and do whatever for her to feel that love. And let the haters hate! You’re doing a good job momma!!
Get her vaccinated. Plain and simple.
No judgement, but I was living in the Bay Area when I had my boys and I had this same conversation with my new pediatrician after the birth of my first…vac (yes or no) delayed or on recommended schedule… Her words to me were "we live in the Bay Area…a place where people come from all over the world…and the chances of ababa getting a terrier illness that they could have been vaccinated for is very high. I recommend vaccinating on schedule. If you were in some small town with few people coming in and out of this country, then, your risk is different. But, I have seen babies who could have been vaccinated suffer unnecessarily…and some of them died." This information made my decision 100%. No question and no regrets here! Good luck, always hard to make the right decision for you! She’s a beauty!
Store bought baby food actually doesn’t have preservatives in it. It is crazy regulated and if you read the ingredients list you will see that it’s literally only the ingredient (i.e. carrots), water and vitamin c. In the spirit of not mom shaming – don’t shame those that buy store bought by saying making it at home is SO much better. Just my 2 cents. 🙂
Thanks for saying this! Nothing wrong with store bought baby food!! I made a lot of food for my first but this time around I simply don’t have as much time. (He eats what we eat when it’s appropriate) otherwise, enter: store bought baby food! Haha
Agreed! There are healthy store bought options when time is not on our side.
Didn’t know! I will look into good store options.
I used to steam vegetables for my baby and at the same time for myself so I would eat what she ate. It really tasted good!
An article came out that the doctor that linked autism and vaccines admitted to fabricating his story and publicly apologized. Millions of dollars were spent because of this man and the end result.., no link between the two! Therefore, protect your babies!! Here is what I’m talking about… http://www.upworthy.com/16-years-ago-a-doctor-published-a-study-it-was-completely-made-up-and-it-made-us-all-sicker
Hey Ali! First, I just want to say that I love your blog! I’ve always thought you were so sweet and relatable ever since I watched your season of the bachelorette. I know you don’t want my opinion on vaccinations, but this topic is too important to not say anything. I really hope you do decide to vaccinate Molly, whether it’s with the typical vaccine schedule or a different schedule that fits your family. I only "push my opinion" about this because it affects other children. Not as much healthy children, but children who cannot be vaccinated. I’m sure you’ve done plenty of research on this but children with certain medical conditions that compromise their immune systems are unable to be vaccinated and are therefore put at risk when heathy kids aren’t vaccinated. So not only are these children battling devastating diseases like leukemia, but they now are at risk for getting measles, which due to their immunocompromised state can lead to death from serious infectious complications associated with the disease. Bringing it back to your little girl, my patients whose parents chose not to vaccinate them have far more ear infections and/or pneumonias than vaccinated kids. I obviously have never done a research study to prove this but in my 15 years practicing medicine I’ve known this to be true. Sorry for the long post. Your daughter is beautiful, just like her mommy!
My baby girl is just two weeks older than Molly and I have loved following your journey! So much to relate to. You are such a great mama!
Do what’s best for YOU and your child not what’s best for everyone else. It is so hard and you will worry whether you do and whether you don’t. Either way as moms we have to face the consequences of the decisions we make but it doesn’t make them any easier. I have read so much on vaccines and get so tired of the bashing on both sides. Get over yourselves people! I’m assuming everyone on here saying to get vaccinated plain and simple are all up to date on their boosters too?? You can always wait To vaccinate. Your newborn won’t be contracting hep B anywhere. Hang in there.
You can wait to be vaccinated? Where are you getting that data from? So if a child gets epiglottis, meningitis, pneumonia or measles you can just give them the vaccine that day and it will cure them? Funny, they didn’t teach me that in medical school.
I don’t know why I can’t paste a link here, but, Google "parents fear of vaccination nearly killed their son".
Ali, you have given me so much hope for what being a mom looks like. One of my fears for being a mom in the future is losing part of myself. I know of course that in becoming a mom you gain so so much with the joy of a little one, but I still want to be myself and not "just" a mom too!! I love to see that despite Molly being your first priority (of course!), you still take time to care for yourself. I think self care will actually make you even more amazing of a mother for Molly:)
I also can relate to your struggle with Owen. Pets are part of the family in my eyes! And they can sense and feel emotions! But I do believe that in time, Owen will get use to the "new normal".
Thank you for being real with us! I love reading this blog and following your journey! Xo
I know your feelings all too well! You will cry many more tears. Mainly from pure joy. But being a parent is tough no matter what anyone says. Congrats to your family! I enjoy your blog as Im a new Momma too. 8 months have flown by.
Hey Ali,
I can completely relate with the fur baby and human baby situation. I remember when my son was a couple weeks old and we took my pup to play fetch and I bawled as I felt like I’d been neglecting her. My son will be a year next week and I can say first hand that Nayla now gets more love then before James was born. He absolutely adores her and I know the feeling is mutual. At first it feels like such a change but it grows into so much more love all around. I promise.
You’re awesome, Ali! When I first watched you on the bachlor with my mom and saw you in the yellow dress I thought you were the most beautiful girl ever. My mom and I have always been team Ali-on and off the show!! I am 20 now and nannying for 4 little monkies and am so happy. It’s made me excited to be a mom…. Someday. Anyway, it has been so fun to follow you all this time and I hope we can connect at some point!
Please, please, PLEASE vaccinate Molly. Not only her health but so many other children’s could be at risk. It hurts my heart when people fear vaccinations cause Autism or think it’s best for the kids. ;(
I truly hope you decided to vaccinate. You live in the state with the most vaccine preventable disease breakouts because people are refusing to vaccinate. Not only are their whopping cough outbreaks but measles outbreaks now. Vaccines are the single most important public health intervention ever. Please read the science. Vaccines are NOT linked to autism. Any other small adverse events such as fever or redness at injection site FAR outweigh the risks of not vaccinating. Google "baby with whooping cough". It’s horrible and so sad. You are also putting others at risk by not vaccinating, people who don’t have a choice because they have an immune system disease. Women in developing countries walk MILES to get their babies vaccinated because they see the devastating diseases still; these mothers don’t always have acces to vaccines – you live in a country where access is not an issue. PLEASE choose vaccination. And a delayed schedule is NOT ok either. You wouldn’t put her in a car without a car seat so don’t let her start her life without vaccines.
Hi Ali,
I’ve never commented before and love how real your blogs are, and I always found it disappointing that you couldn’t blog without having to defend yourself or receive criticism from others. But I am so shocked that you would he one of the moms questioning whether or not to vaccinate your child. Please do, the anti-vax stuff online is cult-like and not evidence based. I am a family physician and I feel so confident telling you to vaccinate Molly (on schedule). Vaccinations have helped this world in drastic numbers. An all-knowing physician does not exist, but I’ve never met a doc who recommended against vaccines…
I love reading your blog and think you are showing a true picture of motherhood! It is what you make it, and this is your choice. She is your baby, and you can do it how you want to! I also love what you said about Owen. My pets are my family, and we are trying to have a baby and I often tell my husband I’m afraid I won’t love our baby as much as I love our dog!! Keep it up, and thanks for sharing.
Hi Ali! This picture of Molly is the cutest one yet! <3 The crying spells you had were the postpartum blues where your hormones are changing from being pregnant back to not being pregnant. So it is normal to have those crying spells.
In the same boat as you, I have a 3 yr old dog (Wilson) and 3 month old son (Finn). At first I felt bad that I couldn’t give him the same amount of attention, especially while trying to establish breastfeeding (slow eater). I finally came to the realization that I’m home with my pup more than I was while working, so any cuddles, walks, fetch etc is extra to what he got before between 8-4. Also, we vaccinate our dog, so vaccinating Finn wasn’t even a thought for us.
I’m about to put down my phone and cuddle with Owen right now!
I had the same feelings about getting up and getting ready when I went out of the house and we were out and about within the first week! I never understood why everyone said it wasn’t going to be possible. It was a must for me to feel like ME and have some sort of normal in a world where I was feeling so not normal… You do what is right for you and your family and try not to worry about what others think!
I’m glad you can relate!!!
This makes me so sad that you would risk the health of your child, and others’, based on scientifically-flawed claims that have since been refuted. I have never, event met a fellow physician who does not follow the evidence based facts that vaccines save lives. I never took you for a Jenny McCarthy type. Disappointing.
Get a grip, take your judgement elsewhere
I never said I wasn’t going to vaccinate her.
But clearly you are struggling or you wouldn’t have posted about it. I’m sorry this is one topic I can’t sit idly by and not say anything. Why are parents so scared of needles but not scared of the DEADLY diseases they protect your precious babies from? Seriously. I’m wondering what the answer is.
It’s not the needles she is afraid of. She hasn’t said she isn’t vaccinating
Did you even read what Ali wrote?
Your daughter is adorable!! I had the same guilt when my son was born with my black lab. My son is 2 now and the two of them are best buds 🙂
I totally agree with your statements about moms supporting each other and not judging other moms for their decisions. I think this holds true to almost all things, but vaccinating your child is not one of those things. I’m not going to tell another mom she should breast feed her child, or home make her baby food, or tell her where her baby should sleep etc. but I am going to tell another mom to vaccinate her child. I say this as not only a mom, but a Physician. Doctors disagree about many topics in medicine, but the vaccination schedule is not one of those things. There is not one piece of evidence that links vaccines to Autism. Not. One. But let’s say there was a link between the two (there still isn’t). Why in our country is it more frightening for a child to be autistic and healthy than not autistic but have meningitis/measles/whooping cough? Those are just three examples and I’ve personally witness children die of those diseases. Not to mention if the child doesn’t develop a dangerous illness, he or she is putting immune compromised children who cannot be vaccinated at risk for other diseases that would complicate their already poor medical condition. Please try to put yourself in the shoes of the mom who has a sick child that is now at risk because parents aren’t vaccinating their children due to some silly myth. I’ll get off my soap box, but it’s just crazy to me that people still believe in this stuff. When I go to Uganda every year, we have patients walk 20 miles for the vaccines we bring.
Enjoy that baby!!!! 🙂
You are doing amazing… Just remember that. You love your sweet girl and that’s all that matters. Do what feels good and what feels right. There will be amazing dats and super hard days. Your heart is in the best place and it will always point you in the right direction!! Best wishes to you and your gorgeous family!!
Thank you Vic!
You should read Dr. Sears book on vaccinations…it’s very middle of the road and unbiased. We vaccinated our first on schedule (now almost 3) and were going to do the same with our now 8 month old until she had a bad reaction at 2 months to the DTap (encephalitis…which is nonstop crying for 3+ hours that night due to swelling of the brain). We’re waiting to vaccinate again–per doctor’s orders–until she’s at least 2. There are definitely side effects that can and do happen. Vaccination is scary stuff and living in California it’s even scarier with the changing laws. Anyways…don’t let anyone pressure you into vaccinating without looking into what is being injected into Molly. It just makes sense to know what is being given to your child and making an educated decision that is right for you!
This post made me cry because Im 5 months pregnant and I love my dog so much that I just dont want her to feel left out. ?
Where is your pink baby carrier in your snap stories from?! It’s so cute! Also, I think you’re an amazing mom!
I was lucky enough to have a Pediatrician who supported my desire to put both my children on an alternative vaccination schedule. I knew they needed vaccinated, but I was very overwhelmed by the thought of getting FOUR shots each visit. Instead, my pediatrician put a schedule that allowed my kids to get two vaccinations at a time. Then I brought them back between well-visits for a "nurse" visit where they got the other two. So there is more back and forth to the Drs office, but I was happy to do it. She explained to me that much of the reason they administer four at once is because they are afraid parents won’t bring them back to get the rest. I assured her that I would and thanked her so much for working with me! Im sure you’ll figure out what’s best for Molly! (Did I mention my daughters name is Molly, too?!) #greatmomsthinkalike
Ali – I never write comments, but I follow your blog from time to time (all the way from Australia), and the new mummy in me can relate to so many things in this post. I have a gorgeous 7 week old boy, Max. My husband and I were just saying this morning that for the first month, our response to his cries was for me to feed him. Now that we know him better, we are able to comfort him in so many other ways, which has also helped me feel more human and not just like a feeding machine! I also get dressed every day and go on walks and outings with my little man – I am lucky that he is a good kid that lets me do all that, as it makes the hard times a bit easier knowing that we can have fun and stress free times together as well. Parenting is hard, but the absolute best! So thanks for all the middle of the night (which is probably day time for you on the other side of the world) entertainment on your Instagram and blog x
I totally understand the dog part!! I had a breakdown over my fur baby as well, you’re not alone!
Please Vaccinate your precious baby the outbeaks are around and real measels, Pollio, hepatitis, and wopping cough. If you dont you wont be giving ur baby a fighting chance. The only one I always oppose to is flu shot.
Hi Ali,
What a lovely post. I don’t have children, nor am I pregnant but I do have a lot of children with babies, I’d say 40 babies in the past 7 yrs. I’m not saying it’s the same but I’ve been fortunate enough to be up close and personal to lots of wonderful woman learning about being a mummy, the biggest thing I’ve learnt is there is no perfect way to do anything or make any decision.
Also I’ve noticed that those people who are nice people (nothing to do with their parenting) don’t judge other parents. They look at every parent and see the hard work, the massive amount of thought, the tears, the sleepless nights and sheer determination behind every decision. So even if they don’t necessarily agree they know what goes on behind making that decision, supporting them and knowing the other parent has made the decision that is best for their parent.
It so lovely to see that throughout all the unnecessary judgement you’re keeping your glass half full and enjoying every moment and learning from the tricky ones
Hello-About vaccinations, my husband and I also had a debate about it but I am glad here in Quebec Canada the list of vaccine are clearly suggested and also the age to do them. It really simplified the process. It is a very personal decision to do as parents but the more information you get about it the better your decision will be! Good luck!
Thanks for this post!! I have a 3 week old son and it’s been inspiring to read these mommy posts. I also have a fur baby who has been my "baby" for the last 3 years and I couldn’t agree with you more about giving him attention. Keep up the great work as a mom!!!
Have you read "The Science of Mom" by Alice Green Callahan? I’m finding it very helpful for sorting out what’s best for my little one who is 23 weeks old. It explains the evidence based research that forms the basis for all the advice and guidance you’re probably hearing.
My baby is 6weeks old,my first but a boy. and my first breakdown was about our dog! I felt the same way and I was so sad that her world was rocked. I think my crying helped because she has been so supportive since and we have found her new normal and we are all happy! We were also told that she would be annoying after baby but that is so not true for us. I need her more than ever. Her snuggles and kisses keep me calm and I need her companionship! Our stories are so alike!
Ali, you’re the best. That’s all I have to say 🙂
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I never once had thoughts that you weren’t portraying what a real mom looks like. I applaud you for being honest, getting up and dressing up, and sharing your personal life with your fans. There will always be those who hid behind social media and bully people. It’s so easy these days to be judgemental on social media. I also, applaud you on questioning vaccines. You really have to wonder why the US gives the most vaccines than any other country. Our government sold out to these big pharma companies back in the 70s/80s and now we are being affected by it. You can space them out to make them safer for your little girl and not do every one of them. No one can make you. Please to what you think is best for your family. Thank you Ali for being a roll model and sharing your story.
Role 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story about Owen! We have a 9 week old baby boy and I have felt the same emotions about our cat! Happy to hear I’m not the only one that feels bad for the lack of attention to our furbabies!
You’re doing just great! Keep enjoying maternity and the normal you!
People are judgmental a-holes on social media…you do you girl!
Molly is beyond cute. So happy for you and Kevin. I just have to say that I think you are wonderful to worry about Owen. That shows you have real character not to forget him. I think it sounds like he loves Molly and will adjust and he does appreciate your concern even though he cannot show it. All the best to your family.
Ali I think you’re doing amazing! Love your story and congrats on little Molly. I think it’s very important to still feel like a woman and dress up and put make up on – even if it’s to just go out and run errands. We all have days when we feel like and look like a hot mess, but becoming a mother should not be a reason to look sloppy all the time!
Most importantly Ali – you shouldn’t have to explain yourself. Haters are going to hate. You’re doing amazing!
Take care and good luck on your journey as a mother!
Ali, thank you for sharing your thoughts. I am 5 days overdue, and your experiences with Owen, breastfeeding and everything else really resonate with me. Your honesty had made me feel a little more sane over the last couple of months. 🙂
Hi Ali,
Congrats on the newest addition to your family. I agree with others, please vaccinate. If the concern in vaccinating is receiving more needles in a visit than you would like to give her, check out buzzyhelps.com. It was recommended by my four year old son’s doctor at the Children’s Hospital here in Toronto. The Buzzy is great since it is uses vibrations and an ice pack on the site, no chemicals (versus an EMLA patch/cream or lidocaine spray). Unfortunately, it isn’t the needle that hurts the most, it is the medicine being injected. 🙁
Not that you have so much time to read, but if you google Baby Whisperer’s EASY schedule, it gives a good overview regarding nursing, naps, schedule. I have a three month old and nurse every 3 hours. And the best book when you get towards sleep training is Sleeping Through the Night by Dr. Jodi Mindell. We also used Dr. Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child.
I’ve realized as a mother that everyone thinks what you do as a parent is crazy and we look at other parents and think what they are doing is crazy. At the end of the day, we all have our child’s best interest in mind, so we’re all doing what is right, for us. 🙂
Hi Ali
I just want to say I love your blog. I find it so sad that you are getting criticised for being HAPPY!! You have a beautiful family and you should be proud. I have a 8 m old, and I LOVED dressing up after he was born. It felt so good to have my body back and I took pride in how great I felt! (Though of course there we many struggles). I do want to say how happy I am that you are so open about breastfeeding, and so committed to it. I find that there is 1. Still a lot of shaming when it comes breastfeeding and 2. Limited accommodations. I have had to nurse in target isles and have given dirty looks doing restaurants which just silly! Best feeding so good for baby so easy. I absolutely love breastfeeding and want all of my friends to experience experience the amazing bond (and hello weight loss) that breastfeeding entails. You set an amazing examplexampl for woman and mothers!!!
And people who are lecturing you about vaccines (and please don’t yell at me- I’m pro vaccines)- Ali just said she was struggling and that’s it. Maybe she is struggling w getting them all at once bc it’s painful or because if baby reacts you don’t know what she us reacting to… Don’t think she was trying to start a debate!
Oh! I remember that break down over cluster feeding! Mine is about to turn 3 but that was one of the hardest things I had ever gone through! I think I cried a few days over it so you’re lucky if you just cried once! The good thing is, that phase doesn’t last forever! Enjoy! It does go fast!
Here you go, I’ll give you the answer. I have 10 years of experience as a pediatrician, after 3 years of pediatrics residency and 4 years of medical school. The right answer is to vaccinate your baby on schedule. That’s the best way to protect her as soon as possible, as much as possible. CDC.gov
aap.org
vaccinateyourbaby.org
You do what you sleep better at night doing. I respect you for wanting ALL of the information. Not just what is on a piece of paper (that paper, and most Doctor recommendations are sponsored by big pharma) if you would like some more information on the topic I would be happy to share with you. In the end of the day fear won’t serve either of you. So what you choose.. Choose it out of love and confidence! (The links below are very one sided lol)
Great post- we all have meltdowns and I think it’s pretty awesome that you only had two in a whole month- you’re entitled to at least twice that! Anyway, it’s okay because the sleep deprivation really does a number on you, and it’s like nothing you’ve ever experienced before. Also, hormones are a bit crazy in those first weeks and months and can add to it all. I think it’s great that you recognize the need to get out of the house and still be you. It’s a balance we all strive for.
I found the book "The Wonder Weeks" was such a huge help – it let me know what was going on developmentally each week and why my child was suddenly nursing more, or waking more, or extra fussy– and it helped to know when it was coming up, too. It helped me understand how hard his body was working to do something totally new and that he just needed some reassurance that everything would be okay. Oh, and there’s an app to go with it, too!
Do what you and Kevin feel is best for Molly regarding vaccines. It’s hard when they’re so little and we don’t know yet what they might be allergic or sensitive to- and if you’re nursing and she’s at home, you can certainly wait a year and do them one at a time to not overload her system all at once. There are options to fully vaccinate but do it in a smart, safer way. Best of luck to you and I think it’s a good plan to keep it to yourselves whatever you decide since people can be overly judgmental.
To another amazing 11 months! Enjoy and soak it in.
Please vaccinate your child!!!! It will be so much worse if you don’t!!!
Best resource for vaccines out there is the article " Clear Answers and Smart Advice About Your Babies Shots" by Dr. Ari Brown. She wrote a very popular baby book " baby 411" Just google it, you’ll be thankful. Super easy to read and she breaks down all the scientific data out there. Even annotates where she gets her info. Best of luck making an educated choice that is best for you, for Molly, and for your community.
Our animals are absolutely part of the family. They live for us! We felt the same way about our dog of 8 years when we brought home our little girl. He use to be my baby, now he doesn’t bother with my much when my little girl is awake and up, but at soon as she goes down at night, he curls up in my lap and cuddles ( I love this!) Its so hard to find the balance with everything, but it will come in time!
I’m 8 months pregnant a bit emotional (surprise surprise) and also a die-hard dog-mama so your part about Owen has me big-time tearing up. Our pup is our baby and both my husband and I dote on her so much. We love her to death and call her our ‘first born’. It’s a huge concern of mine knowing that I won’t get to love on her as much as I do now. But dogs are amazingly resilient and fortunately love our babes (even those not here yet). I’ve never commented before but since getting pregnant it’s been a joy following (a few months behind) on your journey. Also – can’t belive there are haters on you looking cute. You do you girl.
Yay! Congratulations on your precious little girl! Motherhood is truly an amazing journey. 🙂 🙂
I was a dog mamma before I was a human mamma…..don’t worry. owen will adjust and so will you. He’s figuring out his role, and he will be amazing. the four of you will settle into a new normal and you wont even remember what is was like to be a family of 3…..including owen. Love seeing the pics of your beautiful family! sending hugs to you all…and puppy nose kisses to owen!
I also meant to add….no need to justify what you do or don’t do for you or your family. You will never have 100% agreement, so save the stress and don’t respond to the naysayers. It would seem that you are all adjusting well, and who cares if there are people that don’t agree with you. I just wish all moms could support each other and learn that it is okay to agree to disagree. xoxo
There is someone "all knowing"… It’s called your pediatrician. They have had many years of extensive training and formal education and are better informed than any Google search you will come up with. If you would trust your pediatrician when Molly has a fever, or a rash, it’s because you know they are the experts. Vaccinate your child. Use your status to help educate, not be part of the problem
Not all pediatricians are "all knowing." I went to one for a fever and they told me to use oragel for teething. A month later I met with our primary ped and they warned us of the dangers of it, and l upon doing research of my own I learned our pediatrician was right. pediatricians are people to, it’s important for parents to also be educated and trust or guts!! I do agree to vaccinate but Ali wasn’t asking for our input!
You have got to quit worrying about what others think or write,
vaccinate your child. I agree with Motherof2. Use your status to help educate.
You are awesome. I don’t have a child but I love how open you are knowing you’ll get criticized by certain people who can’t help themselves but to do it. And I’m a complete dog lover so I love that you care about Owen so much. Thanks so much for your posts!
Aw I totally understand where you’re coming from regarding Owen. I have a cat and I get really emotional about him too. He was my baby before my daughter was born, he even used to snuggle with me every afternoon for a nap during pregnancy but I too, can tell that he feels left out. It’s his time in the evenings now that our daughter goes to bed at 7pm, ha ha, rock n roll!! :-p
Enjoy every second xxx
I have been really enjoying your posts as a new mom myself! While I completely believe that every mom has the right to choose how she wants to raise her children with 99.9% of decisions, vaccinations are different because it not only affects your child but all the other children she will interact with. I’m sure you are well researched on the subject, but the reason we don’t have to worry about things like measles, polio, etc. anymore is because of vaccines and there is no scientific evidence that links vaccines to autism. I think you are doing a great job but get those vaccinations, girl 🙂
Oh and Molly is super cute!!
-Rose
I love your blog! You bring an effortless, relatable style! I get that vaccinations can be polarizing but not getting them can be deadly. I worry so much about my babies and not having to worry about them getting terrible viruses is such a relief. There have been no links to vaccines and autism. Molly is beautiful and you can tell you’re an amazing mom!
For me it was easier to do stuff that I did pre baby- like go for dinner- when my son was under 6 months. Then he started crawling and now he’s 19 months and full on running / climbing things.
So if Molly is happy in her carrier or being worn go and do whatever you can cause once she’s running around its a whole new ball game.
Omg vaccinations had me in tears for a week! We looked up the ingredients in the vaccines and my husband almost passed out. To do a combination shot or not, ugh was so stressful. We read a lot from Dr. Sears so that helped a little. Best advice the nurses gave us in the hospital is that you’re the very best parents for that baby. Do what you think is right for her and she’ll be just perfect! Xo
I have been following you on snap chat and reading your blog- I was pregnant with you and delivered my son on August 14th. I can relate to you in so many ways! We have a dog too and everything you said in this post I agree 100%. He was our first baby and I know he sees we have a baby now and I want him to feel as loved as he did before and today I was in the same situation feeding my son and could see my dog was sad. I understand completely. You are doing a great job and I love reading your blog to relate to you being right behind you during pregnancy and a few weeks behind you with the baby now!
I love your blog 😉 You are just too cute! Molly is precious and I wish that you didn’t have to spend one single second worrying about what other people think (although I completely understand why you do). You are obviously doing everything in your power to be the best fur mama and actual mama that you can, and that is all anyone could hope for in a mother. I think you should keep your head high and just continue being you! You can add me to the list of people who think you are awesome and a great mom! Extra kudos for looking so darn cute so early on too <3
Hi Ali,
Can you share the wooden box you used as a Molly’s photo backdrop?
Love it!
Thanks,
Ketty