First let me say happy National Breastfeeding Awareness Month! This picture of me and Molly was taking minutes after Kevin and I said our vows. We walked back down the aisle, had a quick celebration with our family and bridal party and then every left so I could feed Molly. He took this photo of me in my wedding dress feeding Molly with an iphone, in the bathroom of the hotel – and it remains (and always will be) one of my absolute favorite pictures. Breastfeeding was such a beautiful experience and I feel so lucky that I was able to share it with my daughter.
That said, as many of you know, I officially stopped breastfeeding Molly last month. Thursday, July 20 to be exact. It wasn’t an easy decision. I had actually planned on stopping on the 18th since that was the day that I left for New York City and left Molly overnight for the first time. I just felt like that was a good time to wean her off since I was leaving for my trip and was really (and I mean REALLY) tired of pumping. But I’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me start to where the weaning process all began.
Around 10 or 10 1/2 months I was really having trouble keeping my supply up. Molly was exclusively breast-fed up until 11 months. Which means she never had formula or milk and only had breast milk and solids. So around 10 or 10 1/2 months, we started blowing through my frozen stash of milk. What was starting to happen was Molly would refuse to nurse in the evening because I wasn’t making enough milk supply. And she would get very frustrated and push away when I tried to nurse her. So the last feed of the day was always a bottle of breast milk from my frozen stash and pretty soon after that, the second to last feed of the day also became of bottle (for the same reasons outlined above – she was frustrated because I wasn’t making enough). Every time Molly took a bottle I would pump. But she was drinking about 6oz from the bottle and I was only pumping 2 to 3oz. Which was crazy because from birth until around seven months I would pump up to 13 ounces at a time! And at other times we would put 6oz in her bottle and she would only drink 3oz. It crushed me to warm up the frozen milk only to throw it away because she wouldn’t drink it all. So not only did the amoutn of milk I was pumping drop, but my frozen stash was starting to disappear.
It was at 11 months that we got down to our last few bags of frozen milk and I really started to panic. So silly that I was panicking because at the end of the day I could have given her formula. I think that in my mind, I had made it this far exclusively breastfeeding her so I really wanted to try to make it to the point where I could start giving her regular milk (well we actually get her cashew milk and that’s just a personal decision. So please don’t judge me on it. That’s not the point of this post). Thankfully, our pediatrician gave us the go ahead to start giving her cashew milk at 11 months! Once we could start mixing breast milk and cashew milk to make sure she was getting as much as she needed, my life got so much little less stressful! I remember thinking at the time that I could breastfeed for two years at this rate because mixing in the cashew milk relieved so much pressure on my body to produce everything she needed.
But once we introduce the cashew milk, Molly started weaning herself. What ended up happening is since she was getting a bottle for her last two feeds of the day (she would nurse or take a bottle 4 times a day), she started realizing that it was so much easier to drink out of the bottle then to try to suck on me for a few minutes before anything came out. And then when something did come out it was it wouldn’t be that much. So she started refusing the breast for her 2nd feet of the day. So around 11 1/2 months maybe a little bit later, she was only breastfeeding in the morning when my supply was the strongest. And then taking a bottle of breast milk mixed with cashew milk the other 3 feeds of the day. Sometime a bottle of just cashew milk.
NURSING FRIENDLY FASHION
By mid July when it was time for me to take my trip to New York City. She was 12 1/2 months old and down to only nursing in the mornings. I just felt like if I wanted to have full control over my body back it was time to stop. Could I have gone on nursing in the morning for a while longer? Maybe. But honestly I didn’t even feel like she liked nursing anymore. She really prefered the bottle (or sippy cup now) of milk because she got the milk so much more easily and more of it!
And I’m sorry if any of this is confusing. It’s really hard to explain all of the steps and how I ended up weaning her. Also just for anybody wondering, we give her solids always 45-60 minutes after she gets milk. So her schedule looks something like this (Although we are about to transition to one nap because she’s refusing her second nap these days. Help us! Ha!):
6:00am – wake up + sippy cup with milk (she doesn’t drink it out of a bottle anymore)
7:00am Breakfast
9:00am – Nap
10:30am – wake up and milk
11:30am – lunch
1:30/2:00pm – nap
3:30pm wake up + milk
4:30 – dinner
6:15pm – milk before bed
6:30pm – bedtime
So why did I decide to stop breastfeeding when I could have pushed through is a question some of you might have. Ya know what, this may be a little bit selfish but a big reason is that there are things that I want to do that I can’t do while breastfeeding. And Kevin and I want to have another baby soon (Which is on hold right now because I have major hip issues sadly). So I thought if I stop now, then maybe I’ll have a month or two to get certain things done. For example, I want to get laser treatments on my acne scarring on my chin and I can’t do that while I’m breastfeeding. I also want to try some detox programs to try to lose a little bit of weight I’ve been holding on to (and gained b/c of my hip issues) and I couldn’t do those things while breastfeeding. So there are some self maintenance things that I want to take care of and I want to have my body to myself for a little bit before I get pregnant again!
All that said, I am so proud of myself for making it as long as I did. It’s crazy to me that I even feel the need to defend stopping at one year because I think making it to one year is such a huge accomplishment! But at the same time I can’t help but feel guilty. Isn’t mom guilt the craziest thing? We put so much pressure on ourselves to be super moms and do everything perfectly. No one is perfect! I have to remind myself of that and be proud of all of accomplished in my first year of motherhood.
And let me say this as well. If you didn’t make it this long breastfeeding or if you didn’t breastfeed at all that’s totally fine too! Everyone has a right to make their own decisions when it comes to raising their children and no mom is better than the other. Heck for some moms, it’s very painful to breastfeed and other just can’t! So what I am trying to say is that I’m not better than anybody because I breastfed for year and nobody’s better than me because they breastfed for two years.
So anyway, many of you have asked me about how I weaned Molly off breastfeeding so I wanted to share that in today’s blog post. And hopefully raise some awareness because it’s breastfeeding awareness month.
I leave you with my FAVE breastfeeding friendly options. The hoodie was a STAPLE in my closet when I was breastfeeding Molly (FYI this hoodie is slightly different than mine since mine was last season and this is their new version for this season).
Ali, Such a beautiful picture in the white dress. I’m well past child bearing and breast feeding, but you and Molly make it look joyous.
It was special while it lasted!
Thank you for sharing this! Your experience was so similar to mine and it means so much to hear someone else going through the same thing! There are so many things to love about nursing, but it’s also a huge sacrifice. It’s ok to say it’s time for the next phase with Molly. Going a whole year is an incredible act of love you should be proud of!
Thank you Nicole! We are all SO hard on ourselves.
Congrats on making it to a year! My daughter is still breastfeeding (13 mos.) and I hadn’t even thought about weaning her. But after reading this.. It would be nice to gain my boobs back! Lol
We give her hemp or almond milk, but I honestly treat milk as a beverage during breakfast and that’s pretty much it. She eats so well, loves her fruits and veggies, beans, almond butter, avocados, brown rice so I just give her the milk for some of the fortified benefits like vitamin D. Plus, she still nurses at least 3 times a day and drinks a lot of water. We do a plant-based diet at our house. Going to try giving her milk as soon as she wakes up from naps to see if that lessens our nursing sessions. I do still love nursing her in the morning though. That’s our time 😊 Thanks for sharing your schedule. Ours is similar, except 7:30-7:30. My daughter is definitely not ready for one nap! I am also having really bad hip pain. And lower back pain. Just made an appt with a chiropractor! Wish me luck!
Good luck at your appointment! Hip pain is no fun! I need to go to a chiropractor too! I just HATE bones popping. Ugh.
Forgot to mention I think I remember reading on your blog that soft-sole shoes are better for walking. But that’s actually false. My aunt who is a developmental therapist bought my daughter high top walking shoes because I only ever had her in mocs and she was immediately so much more comfortable. I told her about what I read and she yelled at me and sent me a bunch of research studies about why they helped lol It’s actually the support on the ankles that help with stability. 🤷🏽♀️
Love this post. I thought I would comment on this because I am a chiropractor who sees pregnant women, babies, children, elderly…everyone…including pets! There are many techniques in chiropractic and it doesn’t have to be manual or bone cracking/popping. Torque release technique, activator technique or Thompson drop technique are all gentle non-popping techniques. I see patients all the time that are scared of hearing noise in their spine and then I see patients that want to hear noise. And just to clear this up… the noise that you hear is the air or gas being released within the joint space it is NOT you bones popping or cracking. Just let the chiropractor know what you’re uncomfortable with and they will work with you. Wish you the best.
Wow! This I so encouraging! Good for you! Why in the heck are we so hard on ourselves! I’m a new mom with a 6 mo old and I have the same plan as you and I’m just grateful everyday I have milk to nurse my child! Thanks for sharing!!
Ali, thank you for sharing. I fed my first child for 15 months and we transitioned much like you. She never had formula and everything was so easy for us. My second child was tongue tied and lip tied and we have been struggling through nursing for almost 10 months. I am trying to transition from bf but the mommy guilt is too strong. Our pedi told me to wait until 11 months to begin introducing any true milk. I’m glad I found a lactation consultant to help even though I thought I knew all the answers after being so successful with the first. Every child is different and the bf journey will be different as well. Thank you for sharing your story.
I am a full time working mommy and I weaned at 5 months and have no shame about it. Way to go for a year! I say do what you can and what you feel is best for your baby 🙂
5 months is a huge accomplishment, ESPECIALLY working full time!!!
Have you ever tried Rodan and Fields instead of laser treatments. They are the number one skin care line.
I also gained 10 pounds when I stopped breast-feeding. I was devastated but I cut out wine during the week and started walking with the baby a lot more. I also tried not to eat after 6:30 PM and go to bed very hungry. I lost 18 pounds!! Now I’m back to having my wine in moderation! Good luck. I love following you. Our babies are only three weeks apart!
I know I need to slow don with the wine at night but it’s SO hard!!!! Ha! I have gained 10 lbs too. I’m at ET today and BARELY fit into my dress.
You looked so beautiful! You are such a natural! ♥️
Such a great post! I nursed my daughter until she went on a nursing strike at 9 months and then I just pumped, pumped and pumped some more. I finally stopped pumping at 13 months and I felt relived. It’s such a hard/sad decision but like you I was ready to have my body back and get ready to start trying for baby number 2 here soon! Great job, and I always enjoy your mommy posts 🙂
Wanting to start trying for #2 was a BIG reason why I wanted to stop. But then this hip issue started. So we’ll have to wait a bit longer unfortunately.
I love these photos and I’m so impressed that you made it as long as you did! I nursed my son for 18 months and it was the hardest thing ever when he weaned himself. It was around a work trip of mine, and the most special thing ever is that I came back from that trip and he nursed one last (long) time and then he was done. It is the most amazing bond any mama can have with her baby and my heart aches for women who have a hard time nursing or keeping up their supply. I hope your hip gets better soon. I have the exact same hip issue and I’ve had to do a lot to make it better. xoxo
This is pretty much exactly how it went down for me, too. My son was born the day after Molly and I breastfed him until July 19th! For the last week or two, he was only doing the morning feed. He never refused the breast, but I was simply running out of my supply and even though the lactation cookies my husband was making helped, I just couldnt pump anymore. I loved nursing, I hated pumping. Congrats on nursing so long! That Molly is a cutie.
Did she nurse for comfort, of course I’m sure she did in the beginning, but mainly closer to you stopping? I feel that will be our hardest part as far as weaning goes. My daughter is almost 14 months old and I’m ready to stop, but she is definitely not. She loves to nurse! Hungry or not lol
My daughter is 13 months & we have the same thing. She nurses for comfort & to fall asleep. She’s no where near ready to start weaning but I feel like we should start trying soon.
I’m a longtime fan and reader, but it wasn’t until I got pregnant with my first, a girl, that I’ve really started to value your blog as much as I do. I’ve saved everything from your newborn recommendations (the name onesie was the first thing I pinned when I found out!) to sleep training to your breastfeeding journey. It means so much that you’re as candid as you are, because the Internet is just full of unrealistic expectations and conflicting advice. I still have a few months to go, but I’m constantly reassured by your resilience, positivity, and how much you LOVE being a mom to your baby girl. Thank you so much! You’re crushing the mom game and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise:)
I’ve been following you for such a long time, but this is my favorite post yet! I had a baby girl about a month before you and I’m going through the same thing right now. 2 nursing sessions a day but I can tell my supply is really dropping. It’s a hard decision to stop, but this helped me realize that I should be proud of exclusively nursing for over a year, and not guilty for stopping soon. Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly! And congrats on your nursing journey…it’s not easy but SO worth it!
I’m not a mom yet, but I have LOVED reading and learning from you and Jillian Harris as y’all have started the journey of motherhood! Thanks for sharing and guiding so many!
Love this picture! My little one is 13 months and is down to only night feeding. I’m having a hard time letting go of it. I have weaned him of his other feedings. if it was up to him we would still be nursing. It is a huge sacrifice and I’m happy I made it a year but I can’t pull the trigger to stop. It’s me not him. I follow you and your blog and cried when you wrote about your New York trip because I could relate. I also have selfish reasons for wanting to stop like some detox tea and maybe more than a drink or two. My husband and I are going away at the end of the month to celebrate our 2 year anniversary and my goal is for him to be fully weaned. Wish me luck. Thank you for always being so open and honest.
One year is amazing and especially as a working Mom! My little guy was born 7/5/16 (almost birthday twinsies) and I feel so blessed to have had a very successful breastfeeding journey. I’m looking into weaning him because I just am so over pumping… but that GUILT! Reading your story helps me feel better about the process. Thank you for being so candid about motherhood and all the challenges and rewards. 😊
Well done. I breast fed until 17 months the first time round but was never exclusive ! I never made enough milk even from the beginning to feed my hungry bubba 🙁 but it was always boobie first then bottle to top up. With my second the same happened but i only made it to 4 months with her until I dried up completely and she would get so angry and frustrated with me, pulling at it that I had to stop as it was stressing us both out :'( we all do what’s best for our babies and ourselves in the long run. Well done for how good you did!
Just as an FYI you don’t need to pitch the breastmilk with the next baby if they don’t take the whole bottle! Just store it in the fridge and offer it FIRST before any other defrosted bags! I did that with both my girls and am a pediatric nurse practitioner! That should help keeping defrosting bags to a minimum! Also if you have a keurig running it with just water is PERFECT for defrosting bags and warming up bottles 😜! Congrats in making it a full year!!!!!!
Such a beautiful picture! My son and I struggled so much with breastfeeding, but I hope with number 2 (when the time comes!) I am able to have a better experience. Would you ever do a blog post about how you approached solids and good recipes? Molly seems like such a good little eater and even though my son has been eating solids for 3 months now, the whole thing is still intimidating at times!!
Thank you for sharing this! My daughter turned 1 on July 26 and I’m in the process of weaning her as well. It’s so hard! But I’m also pregnant again (surprise!) so my supply has taken a huge dip and will probably make weaning pretty easy (physically, anyway). Thanks for always being so real and honest!
As someone who is in the midst of trying for a first child, I really want to thank you for your honesty and perspective on things. It seems like there is so much pressure on what you should or should not do for your baby in the world today. Your insights are so positive and uplifting!!! Thank you, Ali! Love the blog and seeing sweet pics of Molly!
I am also hardcore struggling with getting my 13 month old to one nap!! And it needs to happen bc she’s totally only napping like 30-40 mins in the afternoon now.
Congrats on making it that far! You sound very similar to my experience, around 10 months of exclusively breastfeeding I couldn’t keep up. It was so hard on me and at the end of the day I had to realize I had given it my all. I also gained 10 pounds after stopping with my daughter but with my son I tried to ween myself off the big portions of food and when I quit breastfeeding with him didn’t gain any weight! Awesome work, you should be proud of yourself!
Ali ~
First off, high five lady! Your one amazing momma. My son turned one July 10th. Our breastfeeding schedule was exactly the same as yours listed above. I love hearing your story. If there’s one thing I’ve personally learn from our breastfeeding experience, it’s….
It’s you and your lo’s journey. Do how you want. Love every moment and be excited for the new adventures ahead.
Brandy
I know the mom guilt! I was never able to bf for long with all 5 of mine! No matter what I tried, I could never produce enough to feed them. I was always told I was doing it wrong or not trying hard enough. Others thought they knew my body more than I did! In the end the important thing is that our babies are nourished whether that’s with breastfeeding milk or formula. You seem to have done a great job with bf!
Congrats on a year of breastfeeding, that is a HUGE accomplishment! How did you wean Molly off the bottle? We are currently struggling with this in our house! XOXO
I’ve loved following your story with nursing and it’s been so encouraging!! Weaning off the kids is always so difficult! I also loved and adored your style while pregnant and nursing (if you need to get rid of some of your nursing clothes I’ll take them all – finding affordable nursing clothes has been so difficult!)
Curious how you were able to switch her from bottle to sippy cup? My baby boy Asher is almost the same age as Molly, and he will drink water from a sippy all day long (we introduced the sippy @ 6 mos), but refuses milk 🙁 I’ve tried the transition sippy cups, about 10-12 different ones and nothing… he gets mad and throws it, and eventually I give in with a bottle and he’ll suck the milk down so fast! I too weaned him from BF @ 12 months… it’s a huge accomplishment making it that far! Thanks for sharing this story 🙂 So funny because my experience was so similar to yours… we got down to that final morning nursing session and eventually just gave it up.
Oh – side note… we already transitioned my guy to one nap… same thing, the second was always a battle. It’s SO much better… he has one nap from 11:30ish – 2:30ish and it’s consistently long and great 🙂 Makes it hard to do lunch dates, but I’ll take that long nap everyday. Good luck! XO
Interested about the transition to the soppy cup, as well!
Same!!! Ali, help!!
Honestly, it’s probably just different for each child. My 13 month old daughter will only drink water from her sippy cup, no milk! We’ve officially cut off bottles, as our doctor assures us she doesn’t NEED milk if she is having her cheese, yogurt, spinach, etc… so at this point, we are on day 5 of no milk. None.
She seems happy, but I’m still curious how Molly was transitioned to milk in the cup?
Thanks! Love the blog, especially the mom talk!!
Strong work, mama! I’ve leatned in my 4 year of motherhood and 3 boys later, two important things. (Well many more thab 2, but 2 overarching things) You dont know until you know. And Never say never. I was “never” going to tandum nurse, and here I am, nursing my 2 year old and my 4 month old. Breastfeeding is a gift I was given and I enjoy it, so do my babies, so we’re rollin with it… I get judged for nursing too long! We’re all doing our very best! Many blessings Mano Fam!
Hi Ali,
Thanks for sharing such a beautiful photo. I’m a new mom myself, my son Holden is 9 months old. I was never able to breastfeed and sometimes wish I pushed myself to keep pumping longer. That also didn’t last very long. I would pump 1 oz if that, at a time. But the pressure was lifted off my shoulders when I gave him his first bottle of formula. His eyes opened and he was a total different baby. I still struggle and question myself, am I doing the right thing. Our pediatrician told us on our 9 month check up we could switch to 2% milk. It’s nice to read your journey and the struggle that you go through as well. I think as a new mom the reassurance that you are doing a good job is all we need. In the moment of struggle, you have a very hard time thinking you are good and or doing the right thing!
Thank you so much for sharing this. You’re right, it’s sad that we have to defend ourselves and I appreciate your honesty. My daughter has been exclusively breastfed for 10 1/2 months now and I plan on going to one year. One because, I feel she is ready and two I want my body back for a few months before we plan for baby number 2. I have loved this journey, but I selfishly want to do things that I haven’t been able to for what is 19 1/2 months now, and that’s okay.
On another note now that I will soon be weaning I wanted to ask you a question. My daughter has never drank from a bottle so when we switch her to regular milk I was planning on using a sippy cup. I first bought the B box straw cup because I saw that you used it with Molly and I wanted to ask if you now like the Zoli better? And also does she still drink water from the same straw cup as well or does she only want to drink milk out of it? I struggle with deciding whether I need to get a different cup for when she starts drinking milk. Thank you in advance!
I love reading about the cashew milk. That gives me faith that you have also researched what is being injected into our children. I’ll stop at that as it is highly controversial. Cheers to you. Great job!
It’s amazing the amount of guilt we do feel as moms! A year of breastfeeding is a huge success! I last 2 months 😕. When my super short maternity leave ended (6 weeks) I was driving my son to my mom, heading to work ( I teach) picking him up and going to school one night a week it was too much. I almost had to defend myself when I told people I was formula feeding! Kudos to you for making it this far and doing what you need to do for YOU!
Great job mama! Breastfeeding is such a special bond. I’m weaning right now (at 25 months, the time got away from
us and we’ve both enjoyed it so much!) and man is it tough. It helps to know that we will always have special bonds with our babes, nursing or not, because we’re their mamas <3
This was a great post! And kudos for making it a year! I have an almost 2 month old and I’m praying I can exclusively breastfeed for a whole year(that’s my goal). I’m headed back to work in about 5 weeks so I’m stressing a bit about pumping enough.
Loved the realness of this post so thank you!
I literally just got done nursing my 9 day old.. breast feeding is hard & wonderful & special & confusing all at the same time.
The fact that you made that commitment for over a year is incredible!
Thanks for sharing such intimate pieces of your life with the world- you are a strong and wonderful woman & mom!
Beautiful pic!! I regret not having a pic like that breastfeeding my little girl. I breastfed for about 9 months. I am now having trouble getting her to hold her bottle or drink from a sippy cup. She’s only 10.5 months, so still little. Feeds herself solids so well. I just think she likes being fed. Any suggestions on cups you used or did it just take
Patience?
Thank you for sharing! I so enjoy reading all your Molly updates as my little Isla is 15 months old now (so just a few months older than Molly, I think) and I can soooo relate to many of your mommy stories. I weaned Isla at 13 months old and found it to be harder on me (and a lot easier for her) than I expected. On the one hand I was ready to be done but on the other hand I was sad about not having that special little bond anymore. Those moments are so precious and it’s easy to take them for granted until you realize it’s the end of the journey. The picture you shared is gorgeous and such a special memory you’ll have forever!
What sippy cups do you use? My daughter is 11 months and refuses them all! She’s EBF too so I would like to start weaning soon but I need her to take a cup! 😫Haha
Thank you so much for posting this! It really gives me strength to push through. I go back to work on Monday and I am really nervous about pumping and still having the sweet connection to my little guy. Is there a pump that you would recommend? You are doing an amazing job!
This was great to read and a big reminder that no mama is perfect and we all need to support each other all we can. I felt very guilty about choosing not to breastfeed my son (who is 13 months) out of pure disinterest. For so long I thought something has to be wrong with me to actually have zero interest in wanting to breastfeed and do something that is supposed to be so natural for my child who I love more than anything in the world. It was very difficult and I did feel shame as people would be shocked that I choose not too – not because I couldn’t or had trouble simply had no interest. So it made me feel worse as if I didn’t have a valid reason! But I need to remember that forcing it would have been stressful for both him and I and he is a happy healthy boy and that’s all I can ask for. Sorry for the long comment but I’ve been holding that in for a long time so thank you so sharing this. You should be so proud and you are an amazing mama to Molly, she is so very lucky to have you!
Such an awesome post Ali!!! And the picture from your wedding is beautiful! I’m at 13 months with my little girl and down to just bedtime nursing (I am grateful to have been able to nurse this long). I’m dreading stopping the night time nursing. Do you rock Molly while she drinks her milk in a sippy? Do you use one with a straw?Trying to figure out the best way to do everything at night without too much change and without mik going everywhere. 🤣Anyone have any tips? Thanks in advance for your help!
A year is an accomplishment!!! I also went to one year. My daughter would not breastfeed to save her life and I made the decision about a month into it to exclusively pump. It was the hardest thing in the world and I was super proud of myself to pump and give her exclusive breastmilk until she was almost 13 months. So yeah, it could have been two years, but honestly it was sooo draining to pump ALL the time and I had another older child that also needed attention. We all do our best.
Also, can you share what brand of cashew milk you use? I toy with whatnis better because I know some brands of nut milks add unhealthy components. I doubt I could make the switch with my oldest daughter, but it’s worth a try!
I think a lot of it depends on your baby. My son will be 11 months old in a few days and still nurses 8-10 times a day in addition to eating 3 meals and snacks. He’s a big boy, was almost 10lbs at birth and is now over 27lbs 32in and in 18-24 month clothes and is walking and climbing so I think he just needs a lot of food. Lol. He refuses to take a bottle but I am fortunate enough to own my own business and take him to the office with me so I’ve never had to pump out of necessity. It would be nice to have my body back, there are lots of things I’d like to do or wear but can’t right now. But I love our time together and I know it won’t last forever so I’ll just take my cues from him and go as long as he wants to and enjoy our special bond.
Thanks for sharing-I am at the 11 month mark with breastfeeding and when my cycle came back last month my supply tanked. I have been supplementing with frozen milk but the supply is dwindling. The guilt about having to potential supplement with formula in the homestretch of the breastfeeding marathon is real (goal for me is a year). The guilt part is odd b/c I do not judge other moms that choose/were not able to breastfeed! As a working mom- I am excited to be done pumping, but weaning I am sure will be emotional. Thanks again for sharing your story-helpful to know that other moms feel the same way!
Congrats on making it a year!! Whether its a year or one month, it is never easy and should be celebrated. What detox are you planning on trying?
My little girl was born on July 4th just before your little Molly! I’ve been following your journey since our kids are the same age.
I had a great time breastfeeding this go around, and we are still nursing twice a day, but definitely ramping down.it was a struggle with low supply for me too, but we made it through with I think 4oz left in the freezer!
It’s a blessing for me because I exclusively pumped with my first. I got horrible mastitis that turned into an abscess the size of a softball. I’ll spare the medical details, but it was the last straw that denied me my breastfeeding journey with my first. I was determined to pump for an entire year. For the first month, I only pumped a couple ounces and supplemented with formula. But by 4 months in, I was pumping almost a gallon a day! I actually donated 1000oz to other mothers in need. I gave him his last breastmilk bottle on his first birthday.
It’s a crazy rollercoaster. It’s amazing how many different experiences there are, but we can all find some commonality in between 🙂
Hi Heather,
Can you share a little more about your pumping experience? I go back to work soon and will be pumping to keep my supply up. As of now I’m only pumping about 1-2oz on one side and 3-4oz on the other side. How often did you pump to increase your supply? I’d love your advice!
This is my all time favorite post of yours! Kudos to you for breastfeeding for a whole year. That’s an amazing accomplishment. I struggled with breastfeeding & couldn’t handle all the pressure on me when it came to feeding my baby. I decided to exclusively pump and have been doing that for 6 months! It was a very hard decision to stop nursing because I felt like I was letting down my baby. (Mom quilt is a REAL thing!) But I’m so happy my daughter is at least getting the nutrients of breast milk. Us mom need to support one another no matter what way we decide to feed our little ones! Btw Molly is so adorable and you’ll definitely treasure that photo forever.
Thank you for always being honest and sharing your journey with everyone. Did weaning Molly cause you any breast pain?
I’m breastfeeding my 7 month old son (my first) and always wonder if there is any pain associated with the “drying up” process.
Thanks so much!
I have been waiting for this post!! My girl and I have been breastfeeding for 5 months, but it’s more of an exclusively pumping situation. As much as I want to make it to a year, I can’t wait to have my body back! I will have to reference this post when the time comes to start weaning. Thank you for all your advice!!
Hey Ali!
Not sure if you get notifications for old posts, but I figured it would respond to my comment! The time has finally come. Our girl is almost 10 months old and my period just came back today 🙁 My supply has totally tanked but selfishly I am excited about this transition — to not be tied to my house or pump any more! Thank you so much for this blog post. This will come in handy or the next few weeks as we transition her off of breast milk!
Ali!–
How do you style your cute short hair? I have a similar hair cut, but love the way you style yours! What’s your secret?
This picture is stunning!!! Thanks for sharing your journey with us! My guy is 13 months and is down to BF twice a day, and I stopped pumping a few weeks ago. I’m going to be so sad the day he weans. They grow up too fast and it totally sucks 😭😭😭
Girl, you sweet babe is just a couple months older than mine and anytime I read your blog you’re always one step ahead right where I see us heading. We just hit one year (tear) and I’m ready to end nursing but yet, as you mention I’m starting to feel guilty and like I need to defend the idea and concept… but to who? Who knows, it’s just that pesky mom guilt. But thank you for sharing your experience it has been helpful to me right now as I have this on my mind and my sweet pea seems to be going in the same direction. We have our one year dr apt on Monday and I want to ask and get more info on cashew milk also. Thanks so much for sharing, keep up the great job mama!
Loved this post! I’m down to night time nursing with my little one so I’m right with ya! I feel like I’m hanging on to it and having my own mom guilt- but I need to let go of that! We’re giving him almond milk and never thought of cashew milk?? Just curious- what is the difference between the two? I’d be willing to try cashew if it’s better! Thanks again for sharing Ali!
I love this post, Ali! Thank you for sharing. I am still breastfeeding my 9 month old and just starting to REALLY struggle with my supply. I’m feeding by breast 3x/day and frozen stash/formula 2x/day. I feel like each month I’m adding more bottles and less breast. I was beating myself over not being able to exclusively breastfeed and have tried everything (oatmeal, flax seed, fenugreek, adding brewers yeast to my food) and nothing is working. Your post has already made me feel better about it!! Some people have told me that a baby self-weaning off the breast is a myth.. but Brielle is so social and just doesn’t want to latch unless we’re in a quiet room with no distractions … which is so limiting!!! So I agree with you, sometimes a baby is just ready to move on! Props to you for making it to 1 year and reaching your goal! I hope I can too! 🙂
My son is 10 months old and I’m about to switch to strictly bottle (except the bedtime feed). He is constantly moving and gets so distracted that he pops off several times before finishing. It’s especially hard in public. I hate pumping but I’ll have to exclusively pump until he does wean himself. And, I do notice that I’m not pumping as much as I used to. I can get maybe 5 ounces during one pumping session. I am starting to drink mothers milk tea. Hopefully that helps. He is also showing way more interest in solid foods. When did you start giving Molly solids? I think we’re going to start giving him 3 meals a day on top of my milk.
Ali congratulations on your breastfeeding journey!! I’m a huge fan of yours as I know many women are. I’m still breastfeeding my 8.5 month old little boy. I only produce from my left breast as I had to dry up my right due to two nasty bouts of mastitis that landed me in the hospital twice. It was so hard to dry up the right side but I’m glad I can still produce from my left for my little guy. He does get some formula when I’m at work as I’m trying to spread out my freezer stash for as long as possible. Once again I appreciate you sharing your story!
Thanks for this post my husband and I are going to start trying for kids soon and I love reading all these informative posts! Have you tried seeing a physical therapist for your hip they are great for hip and back stuff with less concern of bone popping and truly help fix the problem at the source!
Beautiful post. I’ve always loved your blog, but pregnant as a first time mom, I’m starting to rely on them and bookmark posts that I’ll know I’ll need a refresher on! I feel more comfortable with situations I may encoutner. However, and please don’t take this the wrong way, you may want to proof read your posts/have someone else read through them quick, before clicking post. There’s often a handful of little errors and it takes away from your wonderful posts. Again, please don’t take it the wrong way.
Ali-
Breastfeeding is no joke and takes a ton of patience. I nursed both my kids to a year and both have severe food allergies, so I had to eliminate dairy, eggs, all nuts, sesame seeds and wheat from my diet. Be proud of yourself and in no way, shape or form put mom guilt on yourself!!!
As for the napping transition…be strong! My son is 20 months and up until 6 weeks ago was pretty much on Molly’s schedule. I pushed his nap from 9am to 12/12:30 now! He wakes at 6 and goes to sleep at 6:30. How I did it was every week starting on Monday I pushed his nap back half an hour. So the first week I put him down at 9:30. The next week, 10…etc until I got him to noon. Again, like nursing, takes patience. Good luck!
Juls
This was an encouraging read. Its so unpredictable how your body will react. My son was born and breastfeeding was among one of my favorite moments with him. The bond is indescribable. But after returning to work and not having a secure and private place to pump during the day my supply began to diminiah significantly. I had to start suplimenting at 4 1/2 mo and was absolutely crushed. He is fine. Healthy and perfect but we are our own worst critics. I am glad to see a post like yours to normalize the changes we all face and show that whether 4 mo or 12 mo, we are still mommas. And they are forever our babies. No one can take that away.
Any nursing is good nursing. Every baby and every body and every person’s boobs are completely different!! What works for one mom will not work for another Its awesome to share what you’ve been through!! It’s encouraging you went almost a whole year that’s amazing!!
My daughter is almost 5 months and she no longer wants to nurse at all. I feel like my experience is similar to yours; it’s just much sooner. My daughter became very frustrated at my low supply but I keep pumping everyday and just take one day at a time. Thank you for posting Ali; I appreciate you sharing your experiences.
I love this post! This is SO relatable to my life right now. I have a little boy going on 9 months and is EBF with solids. The struggle is real to keep the supply up! I feel guilty too when I find myself kind of excited to be done and have my body back. Don’t get me wrong, nursing Calvin has been amazing and quite a journey (bachelor terminology 😉 haha) but we’re human and having a baby on your boob for as long as you have is a HUGE accomplishment. I love your blog and keep up with your sweet family all the time! Thank you for being so open about your motherhood story, you’ve touched this moms heart all the way from Michigan! 🙂
Hi Ali!
I luuuv your posts 😉 My guy is 10-months-old and exclusively breastfed too. When we start weening, we plan on using a plant-based milk instead of cow’s milk… So, I’m wondering, how did you guys decide on cashew milk? There are sooo many options, I’m having a tough time figuring out which one to try!
Thanks!
<3 Allie 🙂
From one breastfeeding exclusively momma to another: WAY TO GO! thanks for sharing your journey. I’m in the same exact boat (minus the hip pain) and have been processing when to quit so that I can get preggers again. Side note: I’m a PT and you may have already gone to therapy but if not–TRY IT post injection. A good manual physical therapist can do wonders with SI pain. Good luck!!
Congrats to you Ali for breastfeeding as long as you did… it is such an amazing bond between us mommas and our babies. I was blessed to be able to nurse all 3 of my daughters until they were 2 years old and cried each time I realized that it was time to wean them. I will always cherish that special time I had with each of them…. I see that you are thinking about doing a detox… Have you ever heard of/tried Plexus? Plexus is a holistic approach to treat gut health with plant based supplements. It has truly been life changing for me and so many others! I have read tons of testimonies of Mommas that also use the products before/during pregnancy and breastfeeding and they all say what a difference it made. Gut health is so important to everything we do!! Let me know if you would like more info! Shopmyplexus.com/jenniferdugan
Beautiful picture. I also weaned this year and it was a hard decision. My supply was going down also, just as you explained. She preferred the bottle! I was happy to make it to a year breastfeeding! I just found out I’m expecting baby # 2 and I cannot wait for that nursing relationship again!
Thank you for sharing! My little guy is two days older than your Molly and he is wanting to BF more now than ever! 90% of the time he refuses solids and doesn’t love cows milk yet. He also would never take a bottle but does do well with a sippy. I am envious that you have your boobs back LOL, however he is my last baby so our final days of nursing will be very bittersweet.
What kind of sippy cup do you find Molly likes best wig her milk. We are having trouble finding one to sudstitute the bottle for. Thanx!
Hi Ali,
Way to go breastfeeding for a year! That is a huge accomplishment in itself. Breastfeeding is extremely hard especially in the beginning so to make it a whole year is something to celebrate. My son is 16 months and still breastfeeding. He could very easily be weaned but it’s more me that is holding back from really trying. It’s just so sad! It’s something you’ve done since the very first day they were born and the thought of not doing it anymore is just heartbreaking! My point though is that I’m thinking its easier to stop when theyre younger. The older they get I feel like the harder it is to stop. I kinda wish I stopped sooner bc it’s harder for me to stop now especially since he’s getting older and growing up and that alone makes me sad, and to think about stopping breastfeeding confirms it even more. Ah. So heart wrenching! But don’t be so down on yourself. You made it a whole year! You’re badass! 😉 Sending love from Missouri!
Than you did posting such a personal decision. I am torn right now on it myself – my son has cancer and my supply dropped with not being near my daughter so much (mostly pumping).
So now she still nurses at night but my supply has dropped. I want to wean so I can lose weight and have a bit more time with my son. But then I feel guilty stopping at 10 months cause she does love to nurse.
*for posting
Thank you so much for sharing your journey and being so open! I nursed both of my babies until 16 months and it was TOUGH at the end. I wanted my body back so badly (I was either pregnant or nursing for almost 3 years) but struggled with if it was the right time. Luckily both of mine self weaned, so while it was sad and emotional for me, they were totally ok with it! I absolutely love your posts because they are so real and refreshing.
Thanks for sharing Ali. It’s nice to read about other Mums breastfeeding journeys. I am now nursing my second who is 3 months. I nursed my first until he was 18 months and I was about 13 weeks pregnant. He loved to feed but I just couldn’t carry on and being pregnant my milk had dried up anyway. Part of me still feels guilty for stopping even though the logical side of me thinks we did so well! I agree Mum guilt is crazy!
Thank you for your honesty Ali! It’s hard not to want to comment here with our own stories 😉
I tried and tried to pump when I went back to work at 12 weeks and only got 3-5 oz. each time. It was devastating to switch to formula… and it shouldn’t have been! Wish I had the support I needed back then and not the incredible pressure. My gorgeous girl is now going to college 🙂
Glad you mamas have each other for support. 💜
I love all your post but this one has to be one of my favorites. I have two kiddos my son is 3 and my daughter is 19 months. My son nused until i was a good three months pregnant with my daughter. I nursed my daughter until she was 14 months. They were, and still are such amazingly different kids. My son nursed like a champ and I always had a ton of milk. My daughter I had much less milk and that would cause me to panic I remember talking to my sister-in-law so worried I wasn’t making enough for her. Although she was growing and thriving we still are so hard on yourselves. My supply started to drop when I hit 11 months as well. I am stay at home mom so I didn’t do much pumping but I remember all to well my daughter being so frustrated when it would take forever for my milk to let down, and kinda feeling sad that our last nursing memories would be of her crying and pushing me away. Then at about 12 months we got into a good grove she was nursing some and eating a ton and drinking some cashew or almond milk (I don’t do cows milk with my kids either but no judgement on people who do). And we had a good month and a half of nursing before I weened her and I had such bittersweet feeling of being done. After 4 years of either being pregnant or nursing I couldn’t want to have my body fully back which made me feel a little guilty but looking back I gave everything I could to my two kids and loved the bond and sweet connection i still have with them. Sorry I’m a bit long winded but your post brought back some beautiful memories, and emotions that I’m happy to relive in writing this comment 😊
I had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding the entire 10 1/2 months I did it but I was still sad to stop. Like you, in the end I was only nursing first thing in the morning but I loved that time with my girl 🙂 I feel like I could have done it longer if I hadn’t gone back to work full time when she was 14 weeks old. I HATED pumping at work.
You are such an amazing mom!!
Do you have any tips for pumping? I have a one month old and pump for a night bottle so that Dad can do that and I can get a chunk of sleep. I typically pump 3-5 oz when I do it (about 10 minutes after my daughter’s first feed of the day). Would love to be able to pump more to build up a supply in the freezer for when I go back to work!
First of all, beautiful picture! I was wondering some ideas of what you feed Molly? My almost 1 year old is soooo picky so I’m always looking for ideas from other moms!
You are so lucky you made it a year. That was my plan originally. I thought it would be no big deal to breastfeed for a year especially since my sister was a milk makin machine. So I thought I would be the same. Unfortunately though once my little guy was born, one breast was my super producer and the other I would only get an ounce out. So my supply couldn’t meet his demand. He was born 6 pounds, which isn’t super small but small enough that he was eating like crazy. Also he didn’t nurse extremely well, sometimes it would take almost an hour of feeding and switching sides before he would be satisfied. I felt like I was being a terrible mom when I switched him to bottle feeding and then supplementing with formula, but I didn’t want him to go hungry. Now as I get closer to going back to work I will eventually have to wean him off breast milk completely since it will be entirely too hard for me to pump at work. And frankly I am tired of pumping and there are other things I want to be doing than pumping. I guess that does sound selfish but I have to do what works for me. So for me making it 2 months of breastfeeding is a huge accomplishment even though I had planned for a year but I didn’t realize it was going to be such a challenge. Thanks for sharing your story and congrats for making it a year and for being able to produce 13 ounces!!! I wish my body was able too.
What a beautiful photo! I really regret not having someone take a photo of me nursing my son. Our newborn photographer asked if I wanted one and said no, too embarrassed. Silly me! CONGRATS on breastfeeding for a year. What a huge accomplishment! I felt completely the same as you…I drove myself mad over insufficient supply and then weaned when I was just ready to put myself first for a bit (at 19 months; my son, however, was not ready and it was a struggle). Thanks for the post!
Hi Ali!
Good job little momma! Beautiful tender portrait of you and Molly. Hope all goes well with your hip…I have the same problem! Injections help. Good luck! Can’t wait for baby #2!
Hugs, Karen ❤
I cannot love this picture enough! It is the definition of beautiful! I will be getting married when my son is 11months and I told my photographer I want a picture of me feeding him in my dress!!! I am currently on medication and I am unable to feed because of it, I am so nervous my supply will drop and won’t be able to get a photo like this. The whole Mom guilt thing I totally understand, we are completely out of our frozen stash and now he is on formula, which I’m not against by any means (my oldest was all formula) but I still have that guilt, I should have pumped more, Taken better care of myself, used my frozen milk more wisely, etc. Thank you for sharing your story! It does help a lot!
Thank you for sharing your story! My baby turns a year next week and I have also made it one year of breastfeeding and am ready to wean her and start regular milk. I’m nervous though because my supply is great and I’m afraid the transition will be hard. I am a working mama and can’t wait to stop pumping so maybe I’ll remain breastfeeding and give her reg milk when I’m away. Either way I’m looking forward to having my body back too! Keep up the good work!
What kind of sippy cup does she drink milk out of before bed? We are having a hard time transitioning!
How cool is that of Kevin n to have known what a special, beautiful moment that was and to capture it for you.
I think I’ve finally found my asnwer to the age old ‘who would you have dinner with?’ question – Ali Fedotowsky-Manno! I’m a first time, breastfeeding momma to my little sweet pea Bailey, born 4/25/17. I love following your blog – thank you for sharing your journey with us and keeping it so real. You give me hope that I can work, continue breastfeeding and attempt to look cute while doing it! Keep it up – you’ve been such an inspiration to me!
Hi Ali!
Thanks for posting this! My daughter is almost a year old and I’m not necessarily wanting to stop breastfeeding but my supply isn’t what it used to be and my freezer stash is very low. My hubby and I are going on a trip for a week the end of August and she is staying with my parents. I don’t think I will have enough milk to give them so I’m thinking about using have breast milk/half some other kind of milk (haven’t decided which yet). If you don’t mind me asking, what was your reasoning for choosing cashew milk? I’m not really wanting to do dairy because I keep hearing such bad things so was considering almond milk. I keep going back and forth though.
Also, when you stopped breastfeeding, did you get the blues at all? I suffered with post partum depression and I’ve heard that when you stop breastfeeding you can get those feeling back. I’m very nervous about that.
Any advice is greatly appreciated!
Thank you!
Thank you for sharing Ali! First, I love your blog and your stories of Molly. She is just the sweetest! I have started the weaning process myself, my sweet girl, Nora is 11 months and I’m just about out of breast milk. Currently she is only nursing in the morning (first thing) and then before bed (which she barely nurses because she just had a good hearty meal an hour and a half prior). So, after reading your post, I’m think I’m going to drop the PM feed, since like you, I’m producing more in the morning. I needed this today!! Thanks again! 🙂
Made it 19 months and I miss it everyday, but my little guy is happy with whole milk. He was ready, so we learn to be ready too. Congrats on making it a year, 6 months was my goal, and then a year and then 19 months. It’s hard work!
Thank you so much for sharing this! My little guy is 11 1/2 months and I really want to start weaning him at a year. For the same reason as you, I want my body to myself for a little bit before I have another kid. You Help me understand it can be done all kinds of ways and no ones way is perfect. I am nervous to start at a year since we will be going to Hawaii around that time and I will probably need to pump to relieve pressure. Ah! Hate pumping! He also doesn’t take a bottle so we are going to try and introduce a sippy cup with cows or almond milk slowly. Not sure which one yet! Thank you for sharing your breastfeeding journey. You did amazing mama! 😘
THANK YOU so much for sharing this! The exact same thing happened to me with my daughter, but it happened at seven months! I was traveling a lot for work, and my body stopped responding to the pump. Then when I got back home, I would never have enough supply to satisfy her. She was frustrated, I was frustrated, and feedings were usually ending with tears (hers and/or mine). It was devastating, because I had fed my first through 12 months, and planned to do the same with my younger one. Big props to my husband for pointing out that at some point, if both of us are just stressed out and miserable all the time, it’s just not worth it. So, I made the switch to formula, and after dealing with all the guilt feelings, both of us were SO much happier! It was like all the pressure was off, and we were free to just enjoy that feeding and bonding time again!
It’s so encouraging to hear that I wasn’t the only one who had to deal with this!
Would you be willing to share Which detox diets you’re looking into? Thanks in advance!
I’d also love to know what brand of cashew milk you’re giving Molly! I’m about to wean my 12 month old and avoid dairy personally so I have been looking into non dairy milk options to give to him, but some have so many additives!
Thank you for sharing this and congratulations on making it so far with your sweet girl! Nursing can be such a beautiful thing. I nursed my Little until he naturally weaned around 20 months. I was actually certain that I would miss it so much, but I really didn’t since it lasted so long and I felt so comfortable knowing that the time was just right since it was so natural and not forced.
Keep on keeping on, Mama! You’re doing great!
Reading this Post, I could swear I wrote it! I experience the same things you did! I didn’t want to give formula because I had made it this far without it. I didn’t want to pump anymore , it was exhausting, but I pushed through and kept going because I knew I wanted to breastfeed at least a year. But I was feeling like I had no supply left. We have now gotten through my frozen stach… we’ve got 18oz left, But my babe is only having two bottles a day, AM and PM so luckily we have enough to help get her used to the milk …which I don’t love giving her, I have given her ripple milk also, but it’s backordered where I live. (what brand is the cashew milk you give???)
I actually stopped breastfeeding July 21st and it was incredibly hard on me. I did 1year 11 days and I was ready to stop when I did but I still felt to sad and guilty.
You’re a great mama. Thank for sharing this experience! It really helps knowing there’s other real people going through real challenges and getting through the tough stuff!
Beautiful picture & beautiful journey! I am exclusively breastfeeding my 9 month old and it is SO hard but so rewarding and I didn’t realize what an accomplishment it really is! I have enjoyed following your first year of motherhood and thank you for being so open about it! I have mom guilt all the time (so silly!) but I just remind myself you are doing the best you can for your baby and YOU are enough!
Way to go for as far as you did make it! Breastfeeding is such a commitment and pumping is down right awful 🙁 I planned to breastfeed for a year but my body wouldn’t allow it, my baby boy was a big eater and I pretty much had to supplement from the get-go because he was starving! At about 5 months my milk factory just stopped. I am hoping for a better outcome for baby #2. My son is just 2 weeks older than Molly. I think you did a great job and our babies grow up faster than we’d like. You gave Molly so much of what she needed as a baby so be proud!!
That picture literally gave me goosebumps!!! What a beautiful picture of you & Molly on such a perfect day!
I love reading your posts and watching your Insta stories. It is really helpful seeing someone go through the same things that you are going through. Breastfeeding is so tough and rewarding at the same time. You did great!
Thanks for sharing for this! Definitely no judgement on the cashew milk – we follow a plant based diet as well and I would love if you can share what brand of cashew milk Molly drinks! I also know hemp milk is an excellent option.
I seriously called my sister crying today because my eight month old daughter has been refusing to nurse. It started after I had to spend a day away from her for a job and I wasn’t able to pump. My supply just dropped significantly. It happened one feed at a time, first she took a bottle before bed then after last nap and she just started refusing to nurse after her morning nap. I’ve been pumping like a mad man trying to keep up with her. And we both have been so frustrated. I have a very small supply of frozen milk left so I just returned from the grocery store with formula and a broken heart. That’s when I read this and it helped a lot. I wanted so badly to make it to a year. I put even more pressure on myself because I chose to stay home with her for the first year so I thought I had no excuse not to keep up my supply till at least a year. But I fought hard through a nursing strike when she was 2 months old after she took her first bottle (even feeding her with an eye dropper to get her back on the breast) and she has been exclusively breastfed since. I really did my best but my heart still hurts a little bit. Mom guilt is so real and such a jerk! Hopefully she still nurses in the morning. Thank you so much for sharing and helping me through this tough day. A part of me is looking forward to the freedom that comes with being done with nursing!
Reading you expirences is making me excited and scared for my own journey. My husband and I recently discovered that we are expecting and only been married a short time it was unexpected but so exciting based on me having Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. We definitely thought we would need help to start a family.
I am very scared over the whole thing, and breastfeeding is one of my fears. I am a larger women with very large breasts that I hate. I am panicked over my breasts getting larger. I keep thinking I hate them and so will my baby.
Anyways long story short your blog (I read every post but this is my first comment ) has been a bit of a enriching support that I didn’t expect. So thank you so much. Your family is beautiful.
Such a beautiful post. Congratulations on nursing for so long! It has been great going this crazy breastfeeding journey together! My daughter is 18 months and only nurses a few times a day so I think the end is near for us as well. It’s all so bittersweet.
I’m in the midst of weaning my almost 14 month old and I always feel so guilty because it’s for totally “selfish” reasons. Olivia (my daughter) isn’t refusing any feeds…so this weaning is 100% momma lead 😢.
My husband and I had to cancel our honeymoon because we were preg and the Zika outbreak was a concern. We have a Napa trip booked for next month.. Sept was our goal to be totally off feeding and our first time leaving Olivia (she’ll be with family). Down to one feed right before bed only and I definitely feel sad and nervous of cutting that one in the next week or two.
So hard to explain. I want to be done but feel sad at the same time. 🤷🏻♀️
Loved this post. The picture of you BFing Molly in your wedding dress brings tears to my eyes. Such a lovely moment. Almost 6 months in exclusively BFing and donated 150 oz to a Mama in need today. I love seeing Molly eat… can’t wait to start my little girl on solids soon!
Mommy guilt is so real! I breastfed my daughter until she was 22 months and I was 32 weeks pregnant and had to quit nursing her immediately due to problems with preterm labor. My 2nd baby was born with a cleft lip and cleft palate and due to that I couldn’t directly breastfeed him. It was heartbreaking and one f the hardest things I have ever done but I exclusively pumped for him for 19 months and have enough frozen milk to get him to 2 years and was able to donate over 50 gallons of milk to a NICU. The guilt I felt stopping pumping was terrible I even started having anxiety attacks about it which I have never had before. Being a mom is the hardest and best thing ever. Now that I’m not pumping I don’t know what to do with all of my time except love on my kiddos and it is great to have my body and some time back! Breastfeeding is wonderful whether done for a day or 3 years! Moms who formula feed are just as amazing too!
Thank you so much for your vulnerability and willingness to share your experience! We are 10 and 1/2 months into breastfeeding and she has decided she wants to bite me at every feeding 😩 So I’m thinking it’s time to wean! We don’t want to do cows milk so I’m glad you said you use cashew milk! Where can you find that?? I’ve never seen that (except for at juice places)
Such a beautiful picture Ali! I loved this post. My daughter is 10 1/2 months and I have a ton of frozen milk but starting to think about the weaning process and how to know when/how to do it…so this was very helpful! P.S. Molly is soo cute! Good luck with your hip problems too!
This picture is gorgeous!!! And thank you so much for sharing your process, I am in the exact same situation right now so I could really relate reading it. My son will be one next week and we are down to 3 nursing sessions a day and getting ready to slowly wean him completely over the next month and I am having so many mixed emotions about stopping! Ah it’s hard, no matter what you always second guess yourself as a mom!!
Thank you so much for sharing this as I am currently experiencing the same thing with my son. He turns a year this month and has been exclusively breastfed up to this point. I’ve struggled so much with the idea of giving him milk and weaning him off, although I think it is time to do so. I’ll miss the intimate moments between the two of us and I’ll miss that feeling of being needed in that way. In a weird way, it’s so reassuring to know that you and other momma’s have struggled with this same feeling. I so appreciate your transparency!
Hey Ali!
Just wanting to know why you chose cashew milk over all the other milks? I am too in the transition of switching to “big boy milk” and I’m trying to figure out what to give him. We did organic soy milk with my 3 year old because she couldn’t do cows milk but I’m not sure I even want to try cows milk with my one year old! Would love to hear your thoughts on it all! Thanks in advance!😊
Good for you for making it so long! That’s longer than most. My son developed a milk protein allergy so had to start Alimentum formula at 4 months. I felt like a failure. But you know what? He didn’t care. He loved the formula and preferred the ease of the bottle feedings. Congratulations on your accomplishment! And, yay, for getting to reclaim your body! 😊
Hi Ali! I love your blog! My little girl is almost 10 months now. I so appreciated your statements about no judgment about NOT breastfeeding. I was only able to breastfeed for a month, and even that was pushing it. Physically I just couldn’t- the pain nearly landed me in the hospital! I felt such guilt switching to formula. I still do sometimes, despite the fact that my daughter is thriving. It’s always nice to be able to read about someone else’s experience and not feel judged for mine. Thank you!
I have never commented before, but I LOVED this post so much! The first thing that caught my eye was the picture of you breastfeeding in your wedding dress. It is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. As I read on, it only got better, from your breastfeeding journey, all the way to the awesome sweatshirt that I will 100% be ordering! By the way, as I type this, my 2 year old is asleep in my arms, where he fell asleep after nursing, which brings me to what I want to say next. The way it went for you seems so wonderful to me! It is how I imagined my breastfeeding journey to be exactly. However, it hasn’t quite gone that way. I started off with not enough supply, and had to supplement with formula for the first 2 months, while I worked effortlessly and tried everything imaginable to increase my supply. Once I did, my son started refusing the bottle 😫, which has made the last 2 years VERY DIFFICULT! I completely understand what you mean by wanting your body back! Breastfeeding is beautiful and magical, but I am so ready! So so ready! It was important for me to let my son self wean though, just like Molly did. I didnt want to ever have to deny him. Hes 26 months now though and showing no signs of stopping! I would like to try for another soon also, and the same as you, would like to have a break to do some things I can’t do while breastfeeding. I know exactly how you felt!
Thanks for sharing Ali! Breast feeding is so much harder than people think and you should definitely be proud of breastfeeding as long as you did! You are an awesome Mama and Molly is lucky to have such a good mommy! 😘
Hi Ali,
I had a similar experience with my first born who self weaned at 13 months after about 2 months of only one feed. I was working full time so he was used to not much nursing. I ended up gaining about 20 lbs before getting pregnant with my second. (This was after getting back to my prepreg weight quickly after my son was born.) My second child was weaned in April at 17 mos and I had to go out of town. She was still nursing all night plus 3 times during the day. I have gained about 15 lbs since then or maybe a little before after not only going to prepreg weight but about 5 lbs below. I think my weight gain isn’t that noticeable except to people who see me naked but I can’t fit into my clothes which bothers me. We have also had a summer of travel with lots of eating out and not as much exercise. I am trying to lose the weight but we are also currently trying to get pregnant again so part of me sees it as a lost cause. Good luck with your hip issues, weight concerns (you of course look fab by the way), and getting preggo again.
Awww what a lovely post. Thank you for this. You are a wonderful mommy. Being a fan of yours I have been wondering how your journey of weaning off breastfeeding has been the last month. No judgement at all because you do what you need to do for your child but also for yourself. Theres no way anyone should judge you for that. I’ve had a very different relationship with breastfeeding. Unfortunately due to some complications after birth and a few ER visits after coming home I never got a full milk supply. I think I missed the peak of it and then it never ramped up. I pumped and pumped and pumped. I took herbal drops and the teas. My baby girl had a small tongue tie under her tongue that made it difficult for her to latch. Once that was fixed she was eating so much that I could never keep up. My doctor said I should be bonding with her and not my pump. Duh. To say it was the most emotional time in my life would be an understatement. I cried all the time cuz my birth plan was to breastfeed or at least bottle feed breast milk. I was anticipating making so much milk I could stock the freezer. But no such luck. But you know what, my formula baby is fat and happy and healthy and that’s all I could ask for. Hormones are no joke but I’ve had to be easy on myself because everything will be alright. I’m hoping that when I have baby number 2 that I get to be that milking cow I’d always hoped for. And if not it’ll be okay too. I was actually the girl who asked you on your Facebook live “what advice would you give a new momma”. Your advice was to enjoy being pregnant and I totally did. I had a beautiful 9 months and even tho my birth was not glorious, I do plan to have a second child in the next three years. Btw, I had my girl on June 30th this year and her name is Everly.
Thr picture of you in your wedding dress brought a tear to my eye! My babe is about to turn one year, and in a very similar way to you, we have started weaning. You inspired me to take pics of me breastfeeding him before bedtime tonight. Breastfeeding has been such a positive experience, and it is sad to think our days of doing this are numbered!!
Congrats, Ali! And congrats to all the other moms in the comments who made it so far. The fact that you feel guilty whatsoever is so hard for me to wrap my head around because I would give anything to have had the chance to nurse my son for even one day. He is now almost 11 months and is doing wonderful, but the guilt still lingers. It was so hard for me to accept the fact that I wasn’t physically able to breastfeed and every single time I pulled out my bottle in public I felt ashamed. In the beginning everyone had their comments and opinions and it really took a toll on me as a new mom. Ever since I was young I always envisioned myself nursing my babies and bought all the fancy gear and creams when I was pregnant. I’m such a perfectionist and that was my plan so you can imagine how heartbroken I was when I realized I would have to turn to formula. It’s like I was just dying to be in this exclusive mom club so I could be so proud of myself and know I gave my baby the best from the very beginning too. However, now I’ve realized that the only way I can give him my best is to let go of the feeding method and just love him for the sweet boy he is and continue the amazing bond we have developed over the countless bottles day and night. Congrats to you and please don’t feel guilty! You are so very blessed
Currently nursing baby boy 💙 We are almost 10 months and I was working full time- pumping 3x a day. Now I’m home with him and it’s all so much more enjoyable. My goal is a year. Anyone that gets to experience breastfeeding whether it be a day, weeks, months or a year should be proud ❤️❤️❤️ Love to you Ali
That picture of you and your daughter is beautiful! How special! I am currently a breastfeeding mama! We are at a little over 9 months and still going! (Sometimes strong, some days are hard) Loving every second of it. I have the same BF friendly hoodie and I lived in that in the winter. Thanks for sharing your story!
Congrats Ali! You did an amazing job! I’m feeling total Mom guilt right now because my princess is 9 months and I am feeling like it’s about time. I too am over pumping and haven’t been producing as much since I haven’t been as strict with my pumping schedule at work. That you for sharing and for sharing the schedule molly is on. I hope a can push through and make it a year as well!
Oh Ali, you should be so proud! I love that you had such effort to breastfeed for so long. I am a Speech-Language Pathologist and I treat swallowing disorders. Last week I had to evaluate a preterm infant for feeding issues and when I asked parents if Mom is planning to breastfeed, they said, “No way! Absolutely not.” Now, everyone is different and have their own reasons. And I respect that and it’s completely their choice! But it made my heart twinge a bit from their reaction. Good for you in doing it! You speak of Mom guilt. I totally have that to this day. My children are 11, 8, and 5. I breastfed my first for 5 months and my other 2 for only 2 months. They ALL weaned themselves. It was absolutely devastating! I cried and cried with guilt each time. Pumping was awful for me. Despite having a wonderful breast pump, I never could pump for than a couple of ounces. I used to beat myself up so much for not being able to. It still pulls on my heart. But I need to realize that sometimes it’s just not meant to be, despite our best efforts. You had a wonderful 11 months to provide her the best. Cheers to you! And have a glass of wine on that! 😉
So amazing that you made it as long as you did! I’m in a similar position with my little one who’s about to turn 1…I had to start supplementing at 11 months with soy milk because my pumping supply (also refused to nurse aside from that morning session) wasn’t keeping up with how much he was drinking. How many ounces of cashew milk do you think Molly drinks per day now? Love your blog! Xo
I love reading your posts! They are so real and down to earth. I am a first time mom myself-had my baby girl in June just over 9 weeks ago! Trying to breastfeed was so emotional and tough. Not being able to produce enough for what my baby neeeded was hard and so hard to understand.
That’s so great that you could feed for so long! It’s important to recognize moms and how different their journeys might be! Like you said being a mom is hard work and we are often so darn hard on ourselves!
This is a such a beautiful story! I have exclusively pumped for my daughter for 10 months now and I have a large enough stash that I get to wean in 12 days! I am very emotional about it as well! Awesome job!
P.s. Let’s be best friends!😊
I love this post! My daughter, Haylie, is 17 months and our breastfeeding journey ended very similarly to yours at around the same time. 🙂 I also want to mention that to me, life got a lot easier when she started taking only one nap a day. Made it easier to get out in the morning and not have to rush home for the morning nap 🙂
Thanks for sharing this! My daughter will be 15 months next week and she’s down to just the morning feed but she seems to be pretty much over that so I think we’re about done. It’s sad to be done and then also I totally selfishly want my body back as you said. Congratulations on making it a year! It can be so hard but it’s so rewarding!
I love your post! Mom guilt is the worst 😭, but similar to you I’m trying to get my body healthy and on track for baby number 2. 😍
Please blog about transitioning to one nap a day !! I’m struggling with that now. My son is 11.5 months (I know it seems early) but he fights his afternoon nap and if he doesn’t take one , he won’t go to bed very easily because he has too much energy still- sometimes it’s pushing 8pm!! Very interested to hear how you approach it with Molly !
What beautiful pictures! Can you tell me how much milk your give Molly with each feeding? Thanx Ali!
Thank you for sharing this – I just stopped nursing at a year and feel “mom guilt” from mom groups that I’m in for not nursing longer – and think it’s ridiculous (especially when I asked advice on how to mix my huge stash of breast milk with another form of milk). And on top of it, I originally planned to nurse for 6 weeks – so I thought it was a major accomplishment.. You should be so proud of all you have done for her… she is happy and healthy and that is the greatest thing you can hope for with your child. Congrats!! And again, thank you for sharing!
Ali,
I am so happy you have shared this with all of us! I have felt the same way. My son just turned 13 months and I stopped breastfeeding around 12 months. Around 10 months I was experiencing the same feelings as you. My supply was decreasing and I was pumping so much just so I didn’t have to put my son on formula. Ahhh but I was able to stay strong and keep at it. Anyways, now my life feels easier since weaning. One tip I will share that helped me so much during the weaning process was using cabbage leaves…it sounds so weird but it seriously was a lifesaver for me!!
So Beautiful and Sensual. Calling to Love.
💕💕💕
Unrelated to nursing but I highhhly recommend staying on a 2 nap schedule longer. I know you struggled with sleep training and transitioning to 1 nap too soon can mean big sleep disasters. Hang on to 2 naps as close to 15-18 months as you can. I looked at your schedule and pinpointed the issue. You need to cap nap 1 at 1 hour and your second wake window needs to be consistently 3.5 hours. So if she’s waking at 6 this would be your day:
6am wake
9-10 nap
1:30-3 nap
6:45-7 bed
Trust me girl – don’t go to 1 nap yet!!!
Ali, I love this post so much! My son is 12.5 months and I’m thinking about weaning in the near future and would love to hear a little more details about your experience. Did you just stop the morning nursing session cold turkey? Did your boobs get engorged and hurt? I’m so we worried about pain…
Thank you for sharing! My little man is almost 10 months and I feel like you telling my life haha. We are still breastfeeding but it’s definitely become harder. I don’t pump as much at work as he eats at daycare so only days off I get up between 4/5am and I barely get by having enough. But I’m gonna keep at it. It’s such hard work and dedication for sure. I know I will miss but part of me wants to get back to me and we also want to start trying for baby #2. 🤗
Can I ask why you choose cashew milk? I’ve not done my research yet on milks so I’m open to others besides cows milk.
Read this while nursing my 3 year old! Never thought I’d be one of “those moms”, but here we are! I also still nurse my one year old! Everyone’s nursing journey looks different! Congrats on the year and congrats on your body being yours again (for now!)!
Ah ! Thank you so much for this post ! Amazing & so helpful. I am currently trying to wean my 11.5 month old. What kind of sippy cup do you use? Also, sippy cup during night time feed?
Thank you so much for sharing all of this. Motherhood is such a journey, huh? I have 3 girls–a 5 yo, 3 yo, and 8 month old. I had a really hard time breastfeeding my first two but with my third the stars have aligned and we have both loved it and are still going strong. Your post brought tears to my eyes because I know my baby is my last one and I know I’ll miss nursing her when we are done. ❤️
Hi Ali,
I love following you on your blog! I’m not one to offer up advice to strangers but just wanted to let you know about pelvic floor physio in case you haven’t heard of it. I’m a Pelvic Health Physioherapist and I recommend all women see a pelvic health physiotherapist following their delivery. A lot of changes happen with the pelvic floor during pregnancy and delivery and physio can be very beneficial. Definitely a personal choice but thought I’d throw it out there for you to look into as an option.
That pic made me tear up! Can you do a post on breakfast and meal ideas for Molly. I feel like I struggle with that and would love to see what you do! My daughter is almost the same age. 🙂
Hi Ali! one piece of mom advice- don’t necessarily rush to transition her to one nap. my daughter is 2 and she definitely went through a kind of annoying 2-3 month phase where should we sometimes take just one nap a day- other days 2 naps. some people told me to just transition but at the time, she was napping at like 10am and 2pm and there was just no way she would make it to a 12pm nap- so we just had to roll with it and eventually she naturally made her way to just one nap around 12pm. when we went through this phase, on days where she didn’t nap in the afternoon , we would just put her to bed 30 or so minutes early. anyways, good luck! and thank you for being so open and honest about your journey as a new mom. I had to do mostly formula as my daughter wouldn’t latch and my milk supply never came in we’ll- and quite honestly I didn’t like breast feeding- but that was MY journey and I respect your message that you always say which is you are just sharing YOUR journey. at the end of day as a mom, we all have to do OUR thing- whatever that might be. rock on!
Not sure if you read all of these comments, but in case you do, look into Platelet Rich Plasma injections. I got mine through an orthopedist and it truly changed my life. I had horrible hip pain which was the result of bursitis and piriformis syndrome (took them 4 years, 3-times-a-week physical therapy, and too many cortisone shots to correctly diagnosis me), but after all that, I simply had one PRP injection and my life changed. I am cozy again! No more pain! It’s been a couple years and I am still comfortably. It’s almost always covered by insurance, and if not, it’s roughly $500.
Side note: kick add job on breastfeeding for a year! I am at the 5 month mark and itching to make it that far. My little cutie refuses to breastfeed so I exclusively pump. It’s a labor of love…! Ouch. Sore nipples, but mostly sore self-esteem. I read all the books, I was prepared to breastfeed…and then she wouldn’t. Bummer. But, I sucked it up and am still pumping strong!
Fingers crossed that you sort out your hip pain soon and get another little love bug in your arms asap!
Thanks for sharing! I appreciate putting it all out there! Maybe a silly question but do your breasts just adjust as you wean and eventually they stop producing once you stop breastfeeding and pumping?
Ali, thank you so much for sharing your breastfeeding journey!
I love the photo that Kevin captured of you nursing Molly on your wedding day. What a special moment for you all to cherish forever!
I’m 9 months into exclusively breastfeeding and my goal is two years. I am definitely taking that goal day by day though. For the past couple months, my baby girl has been such a snacker! The length of time she nurses for has never been long, but it’s gotten shorter and shorter, to the point where I can’t help but wonder if she’s getting enough. And then those other mom worries creep in like, am I doing something wrong? Is she big enough? What else can I do? But I’m reassured by the fact that she is a healthy, happy baby who is hitting all of her milestones.
You did such a great job breastfeeding Molly for one year and you should be so proud of yourself!! x
Thanks for sharing your story! My son was born 9 weeks early and was in the NICU for 54 days. I was able to pump and get my supply in and only needed a couple days of donated breastmilk (God bless those women!) and then was lucky enough to start nursing once home with him. I made it just shy of his adjusted 1st Birthday (his due date) with nursing/pumping with a little supplementing towards the end. I stopped when my husband and I went away for a weekend with friends. It worked out well because he got used to being fed a bottle every feeding. Up until then he wouldn’t take one well from me, knowing I had the good stuff and I’ve been able to get him to take a bottle from me ever since. Morning & bedtime routines are so much faster now! What sippy cup do you use? I haven’t found one he will take, which his doctor thinks is partly due to him being a preemie. Oh, and did anyone warn you about the pain when you stop nursing?! None of my mama girlfriends warned me! Holy moly that was not fun. I couldn’t even hug my husband without it hurting. Anyways, thanks for being so open! Love reading your blogs.
Such a sweet memory you will cherish forever.
I found it emotionally rewarding to breastfeed. It was like I was doing my job. I breastfed until my daughter was just about 18 months but after 12 months it was only at night and before bed. She had cows milk during the day. I think I knew deep down that breastmilk was the best thing for her so I had this desire to do the right thing for her. It’s a personal decision but one that you need to be ok with first. I’m worried about baby#2 one day because I know I will feel like a failure if I don’t make it to 1 year. No idea where that sense of failure comes from…. hmmmm….
Oh, Ali, how inspiring this blogpost is! I understand you so much… my baby is now nine months but she was born three months in advance which means that now she is six months. My plan is to breastfeed her until next winter is over but my milk supply has lowered in the past weeks Since we’ve started to feed her solids. And I am so frightened with this. So I totally get you!I also can’t be more sick of pumping , it’s so good to read that I’m not alone in this trip … so thank you for that and I would love to read some more motherhood posts… I love your blog!!!
Thanks so much for sharing your journey! I was pregnant at the same time as you and my baby girl is a couple of weeks younger than Molly. I have been following you and have found all your motherhood blog posts so interesting! I am still breastfeeding too but feeling the same way as you! Great to hear your story about weaning. Xx
Ali, I want to thank you for this post. I haven’t been able to get pregnant yet (which I am totally fine and at peace with)… but maybe someday my hubby and I will have a bundle of joy. Having all this time married without kids (10 years to be exact) as given me some opportunity to observe others, learn, wonder, grow…when it comes to maybe someday becoming a mother. What the community of mothers sometimes don’t realize (I wonder sometimes?) is that there are ladies out there watching, reading, curious…
Ladies who may someday become mothers.
I see a lot of mother shaming, judging, criticizing not just with breastfeeding but with formula, discipline, you name it it’s been judged. Heck, even I have judged and then have to stop myself and realize how ridiculous I am.
I realize that yeah the thought of becoming a parent is scary and unknown but what makes me scared is the amount of crap parents have to go through in society when it comes to parenting and the amount of crap that parents throw at each other. I can barely handle someone judging the fact that I don’t eat cheese on my pizza sometimes…how can I handle judgment towards me as a parent?? What support will I have when all the mommy blogs are just riddled with things that are going to make me feel bad about myself??
And then I read Ali’s blog post here on breastfeeding and it was just a breathe of fresh air. Maybe, just maybe, I have found a safe haven for a time when I become a mother. So, thanks Ali. Someday hopeful mothers are reading too.
Thanks for sharing!! My goal is to breastfeed for a year, but I totally know what you mean about wanting some of your freedom back. I’m proud to have already made it 7 months and have been curious about how you “know” when to stop. Congrats on doing it for a year! I really struggle with having to wear nursing friendly clothing ALL the time…I want my wardrobe back! Did you wear normal bras ever or did you wear nursing bras and tanks under your clothes for the past year?
What a beautiful photo! I was pumping exclusively because my son had a difficult time latching, this was so emotional for me and I felt I was letting him down because we just couldn’t get the hang of it. Then my supply dropped when my little one turned 4 months. For the last 3 months I have had to supplement with formula for a few feeds a day. I tried everything to get my supply back up, power pumping, Mother’s tea, Fenugreek tablets, drinking plenty of water and it just wasn’t working. Last week I made the very difficult and emotional decision to stop giving my breastmilk. I put so much pressure on myself to give him my milk for as long as I could but I am proud of myself for making it the 7 months attached to a pump! I keep repeating that to myself 🙂 -Alyssa
Thank you so much for sharing! I love following you on Instagram stories and was especially interested in this post 🙂 I am almost done weaning currently, made it eight months exclusively breastfeeding and have been weaning for about a month now. I have also gained weight (insert cry face emoji here), so I hope you also share the journey after breastfeeding as well!
Thanks for always being so honest!
Betsy
Hi Ali! I love reading your blog! I had a quick question. What’s that brown necklace and ankle bracelet Molly has been wearing in recent pictures?
Hey Ali!
First off, way to go momma! Breastfeeding is so much work, but so rewarding, and the bonding – well it’s just the best. We are still nursing over here (almost 17 months), we’re trying to wean, but it’s proving more difficult than I thought it would be. Little miss brings me her boppy when she wants mommas milk. She drinks almond milk no problem, but still wants to nurse a few short times a day. Any ways none of that is relevant to my question. Haha.
How did your body handle stopping? Did you get any engorgement or discomfort? We have a short trip planned on October (this will be my first time away for her 😢 In 18 months… slightly stressing about it 😫 I know I know, it’s time – and good for both of us). Anyways that will probably be the end of our breastfeeding, but I’m just curious about how my boobs will handle it! Haha.
I can totally relate to your feelings about stopping breastfeeding! I felt the same way. I exclusively breastfed my daughter until she was 13 mos. and I’ll admit the last month was a lot more about me than her. Having my body back to being mine and drinking as much caffeine and wine as I wanted was nice though! Good luck to you! You’re a great mom
I am not a mom, but just reading your schedule of naps and feedings, I don’t know how I would ever be able to work full-time and breast feed! I think that is a huge reason a lot of people my age (26) are afraid to start a family, all of my friends are so career driven so it just seems so hard to do both! Props to all the moms that do!
My daughter will be 1 year next month and I’ll have to wean her off of formula. I wanted to EBF for a year but, like you my supply just became so low and I was pumping 8 times a day to barely get any milk. It was so hard especially bc I was back at work. I cried a lot and felt like such a failure but in hindsight I wish I hadn’t been so hard on myself because sh*t happens!!! Anyway, I’m worried about cows milk bc I can’t drink it and it frankly humans shouldn’t be drinking it, can I ask what made you choose cashew milk?
This was one of my favourite posts Ali, thank you.
Question, honestly not judging because I prefer cashew milk (or basically any other kinds of milk) over regular milk as well, but was there a reason you picked that particular kind of milk over regular? Or cashew over other nut/soy milk?
Additional question, why would people judge you for that? I’m obviously not a mother but is it known in the motherhood world that cow’s milk is better for babies than nut milk? It’s still protein and calcium right?
Why does breastfeeding make us so emotional??? I tried so hard to breastfeed my first daughter and my milk never came in good enough for what she needed. I was devastated!! I wanted nothing more than to nurse her but she wasn’t getting near enough and at the end of the day she was hungry, so I had to switch to formula. But, I cried for days because I felt like I couldn’t give her what she needed. She, on the other hand turned into a totally different baby. She cried a ton (I mean a ton!!) when she was first born but it was because she never got full. Once I switched to formula, she became a different baby!!! So happy all the time! (Well, most of the time!)
So, as much as I would have LOVED to nurse her longer it just wasn’t meant for us and that’s ok! You are right about Mom guilt…..it will suck you in and we have to try and not let it!
Kudos to you for making it that long! Amazing!!!
Hi Ali! I’m an exclusively-pumping mom of a 10 month old so I was really interested in reading your post about weaning! My son didn’t love to breastfeed beginning at 8 months, so I just decided to pump and give bottles. I had a question about cashew milk… does it contain all of the nutrients that babies need? I don’t drink cow’s milk myself so I’m interested in other options. Do doctors say cashew milk is better than almond or coconut milk? Just curious about which one is best for 1 year olds! It’s crazy I need to start thinking about this!
Thanks!!
Ali,
Great post! My daughter is 11 months and I know the struggle of stopping breastfeeding. I heard about your hip displaysia. I had the same thing two years ago and ended up with a seriously sore SI Joint- all the muscles in my hip were a mess. I had an MRI and they found I had hip impingement. I got the FAI surgery, and by 8 weeks out I was as good as new. I’m back to running races, hiking, and biking again. Hopefully yours doesn’t result in surgery, but if it does, know that it’s a pretty easy surgery to recover from!
Thank you! My babe is now 8 months old and I have been pumping since I went back to work at 3 months. He nurses at night but also refuses in favor of the bottle so I end up pumping at home too. It’s exhausting! I also went away for a weekend recently to attend a wedding and left the baby back home with dad. Huge implications for my supply. Your post came at the perfect time because I don’t want to rebuild my supply at 8 months but I’m also not ready to stop breastfeeding/pumping just yet (MOM GUILT!). It is crazy how we make ourselves feel so terrible. Every mom I have ever talked to about stopping lists a million reasons why she did which is just unnecessary. We shouldn’t feel like we have to explain ourselves. Anyway, I still don’t know when I will end up stopping completely, but I just wanted to say that I am so thankful for your honesty. You mentioned in your post that it might be confusing to read, but I think every mom probably understands anyway! It’s not an easy thing. Thank you, Ali!
Hi Ali and readers… I’m a mom of 2 kids. A 3.5 years old boy and a 13 months baby girl. I breastfed both my kids up to 1 year and specially with my first one I pumped a lot. I introduced formula to both my kids at 6 months around the same time I introduced solid to them and their last feed of the night would be formula. I think and clearly as I personally experienced, as special and magicall the breastfeeding experience is, there shouldn’t be so much pressure on moms on “exclusively breastfeeding”. Scitifically the main benefit of breast milk that a child needs is up to his or her first 3 months after that is more about the bond than source of nutrients for the baby. There are lots of good formulas out there not to mention doctors promote introducing babies to Homo milk prior to their first birthday too. I loved and enjoyed the experience of breastfeeding my kids however I don’t agree with promoting and putting all the pressure on moms about “exclusively brrastfeeding” there’s enough pressure there with lack of sleep, adjusting to the new baby, routine, etc… that we should have an open mind about any source of support we can get to go through this. Let’s face it being at a positive mental state and not stressed all the time is far more important that a baby being only breastfed at 10 months.
How hard was it to wean Molly off bottles?! My little girl is just 3 weeks younger than Molly and I am dreading the transition! Especially since she only has one tooth right now. 😩 Congratulations on an amazing accomplishment! Momming is not for the faint of heart 😉
Any tips are helpful!!
I LOVE this ! momma you rock! im 8 months in right now and my goal is to strictly breastfeed for a year as well ,but we are already catching up to my stock as well! so this is helpful! thank u!
Way to go, momma! My daughter is 11.5 months old right now and we are literally on the same weaning schedule. I started her on whole milk at 11 months when my frozen milk started getting low (ahh, it was scary huh?), and now she’s nursing just in the mornings. It’s amazing how we can make ourselves feel guilty, but in fact, we should be so proud of ourselves for nourishing our babies with our bodies for so long. I love
following you because it seems like we have a lot in common 😀 thank you for your insights! Also, isn’t it amazing not lugging your pump around anymore?! 😂
Thanks for sharing and congrats on making it to a year!! You are right, pumping is the worst, it’s a true labor of love. I’ve made it 5months so far and really hope to reach a year of exclusively breastfeeding my daughter. I wanted to ask about your decision to give Molly cashew milk, I’ve been doing research and am not comfortable giving my daughter cows milk when it’s time, how did you decide on cashews milk?
I love your blog, and met you once at the grove, you were so sweet & truly are such a nice person!
I love to read about your journey with Molly. I have a daughter one month older than her and I identify with you guys so much every time I see your posts. Thanks for sharing your experience and making awareness on breastfeeding. I breastfeed exclusively for 9 months and wanted to make it to the year but as you said, I too NEEDED to do things for myself and my marriage that bestfeed was hampering (and hated to pump too).
As hard as it was to make the desicion to wean I don’t actually regret it.
My life started to feel so much more in place and, believe me, I loved to breastfeed my baby. It is simply the greatest pleasure we, as women, get to experience and I’m forever grateful I had the chance to share the most amazing bond with my daughter. So, I feel you! And you have all of my respect for trying to keep it up and make it all the way that you did! You should feel very proud of yourself. Congrats!!! Love from Mexico
I’m planning to start weaning my daughter in October. How did you deal with the pain/”full” feeling? I know you were nursing in the morning and pumping when she would take a bottle, but I’m interested/worried about how it will be when I cut out a feeding or pumping session during the weaning process.
Ali- I never watched you on your season of the Bachelorette but I just want to say that I appreciate how real and normal you seem… you could be faking it, but you’d be a really great actress if you were 😉! You are hard on yourself, but we all are as Moms. I couldn’t breastfeed, but pumped for 7 weeks and wasn’t getting nearly enough milk simply because mine never came in. I took every supplement, drank more of that tea than I care to share and come to find that milk doesn’t come in sometimes with bad post-partum depression. So, my hormones were going crazy, I was struggling with depression AND I had Mommy guilt!! My sweet girl had formula for 12 months and she’s not a smart, thriving, beautiful almost two year old. We need to give ourselves grace. Now, back to you; Ali- you are lovely, dedicated, intelligent, caring, loving, mindful and dynamic. Your blog is all of these things as well… and that wedding picture is one to cherish forever; how lucky you are that Molly was at your wedding. Please give yourself GRACE and recognize how great you are. You are raising a human; a healthy, smart & beautiful little girl.
Good for you Ali! Don’t feel selfish, you gave her the best nutritious start to her life! I’ve been breastfeeding and/or pregnant for the last 3 years-with no end in sight of either! lol I can relate to wanting your body back. You’re a beautiful, amazing, smart woman and mother. Congratulations on breastfeeding as long as you did! Good luck with your hips and future pregnancies!
Hi Ali! Can I ask what sippy cup Molly uses? My daughter won’t drink her milk out of anything besides a bottle…help!
I felt so guilty stopping but my little could care less about the boob. Now 2.5 years in I wish I didn’t put so much pressure on myself, and let the mom guilt go sooner because they all end up eating fries off the floor anyways! 😀
LOL!!
Aloha, Ali!
I had my first baby boy 10 months ago and have loved following your social media and blog throughout pregnancy, birth and babyhood 🙂 I bought quite a few of your maternity clothing suggestions and loved them.
My son had his first bottle of formula at 10 months old. I beat myself up because my goal was to make it to a year and for him to never have formula. Now, two weeks later, I am supplementing formula at every other meal because my body is just not producing enough for him. I had my “last” morning pump session a few days ago and feel slightly failed but slightly relived and free.
My question for you is – when you weaned Molly – are you still expressing milk at all or producing milk? I’m wondering if my body will just stop producing all together or if you have to not express and just let your body do away with the milk production. I know every body and baby is different but thought I’d ask since you’re recently going through this process.
Secondly, what made you choose cashew milk? I drink cashew milk but am wondering if you’ve done research on babies drinking it vs whole milk.
Thanks for any advice you can give. Oh, yes, and sippy cup recommendations! We’re on the level one sippy cup but am wondering what brand/model you like.
Sincerely,
Stephanie
Beautiful post and beautiful pictures!
Question – when you got down to one feeding in the morning. Did you pump during the day? Or quit pumping cold turkey? My daughter will be a year in December and that is my goal if it is in God’s plan to breastfeed up until then. But I would slowly like to start weaning her off instead of going cold turkey. (I don’t think my girls can handle that! HA!)
Thank you for sharing! And congratulations on making it to a year!!!
So glad you posted this! My baby is almost a year old and we’ve made it this far exclusively breastfeeding. I would love to wean soon, but he’s showing no signs of wanting to stop! I hate to be selfish about it so I’m going to wait it out a little longer and see if he’ll start to self wean.
Question: Why cashew milk instead of almond milk or another milk alternative? I really don’t want to give dairy so I was curious what your insight was on this.
Wow! This was such a great post for me to read right now! I currently have a 4 week old and am a new mom. Breastfeeding has been harder than I realized it would be and I even took all of the classes and thought I was prepared. We stuck it out through those first 2 crazy weeks (why does no one really tell you how insane that time is!) and we are doing much better even 4 weeks in. My goal is to make it a year breastfeeding but right now I’m just taking it one month at a time. Thank you for being honest about your experience and sharing. It is so helpful to hear real experiences from people instead of it being made to look so easy and natural.
What an amazing post Ali!! Thank you for posting this. I starting weaning my daughter off breastfeeding around 9 months because I was going back to work after she turned 1. I felt so guilty buying formula and really didn’t want to do it but I knew that I would have to start warning her off slowly and also start weaning myself from producing so much. I never really produced a lot while pumping and my daughter hated my frozen breast milk because I have heard that sometimes the smell and taste can change after you freeze it, and that’s what happened to my milk. So pumping and freezing wasn’t really an option for me anymore. Now that she is 1 (turned 1 on July 25th), she is down to only nursing at night. But I’ve been considering stopping that as well, because I feel like I’m not producing enough anymore and that she’s going to bed hungry. And I also want a break from bedtime routine. I have literally put my daughter to bed every single night since she was born because she as well was exclusively breastfed. Don’t get me wrong, I love snuggling her and that bonding while breastfeeding her, but bedtime was always a struggle in our house and took her sometimes 2-3 hours to go down. After a year of this, I feel like I’m done and want my husband to start taking over some bedtimes so I can relax. Especially now that I have returned to work. But I feel so guilty thinking this and wanting to stop nursing her even though she still enjoys it. We also want to have another baby soon, hoping by the end of the year. I also want to be able to go out at night on the weekends and not have to worry about putting my daughter to bed before I leave. I’m glad you posted your story. So inspiring. One thing I regret throughout my breastfeeding journey is not having any photos of it. Looking at your photos are so beautiful and it makes me sad now that I have none of me and my precious baby. That will be something I will try for with my second. Thank you for always sharing your raw and honest emotions Ali. Really love following your blog and Insta stories!!
Hi Ali, thank you so much for sharing your experience with us. I love your mommy posts (love all the others too!) as a new mom myself I look forward to reading about you and your little family and how you dealt with major milestones.. it’s great help and inspiration. My seeet baby Leonardo is almost 3 months old and so far I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding him.
My family is very much women driven, lots of aunties and cousins who are big advocates of breastfeeding so I felt there was a lot of pressure on me to do it right. I admit I was terrified l, but have been so lucky because Leo latched immediately after he was born, still in the delivery room and started eating properly right away! 🙂 I feel so lucky to be able to provide for him and at the same time share such beautiful moments with him. That being said, I am not planning to be breastfeeding until he’s 2-3 years old (one of my aunties loves to emindmehow her son went from the boob straight to the grown ups cup). I know breastfeeding it’s extremely important for babies development and immune system but I also think that comes a point when it is not necessary anymore and there’s no shame in stopping. I have also set myself the idea of breastfeeding Leo until he is one year old, and really hope to make it.
I have never pumped milk until now and just got myself a pump as it happens I may be out running errands as he sleeps and my mom/sister stays with him and he tends to want to eat when he wakes up (no matter how long before his last feeding was). I am a bit worried that once we start bottles though he’ll get tired of”working for” it on the beast.
I wanted to ask you why you decided to go with cashew milk specifically for Molly? I know lots of families decided not to go with regular milk, which I understand, but was wondering if there’s any specific reason you chose cashew and not say almond or sky or coconut, etc? Sorry if it is a silly question.
Once again thanks for sharing these things with us, I am a big fan and look forward to any new post.. also, I am a little in love with your beautiful family. 🙂
PS. This pic of you and Molly is so beautiful.
Hey Ali!
My little one is almost 1 and I’ve slowly started to wean off breastfeeding too. For him it had become a sleeping ritual more than anything else and it was (still is) exhausting for me, since noone can get him to sleep other than me. He loves to breastfeed and it’s heartbreaking to see him cry and try to undress me and not give him what he wants. But my doctor said it’s for the better and it will be good for everyone when he develops good sleeping habits. As you said – close to a year of breastweeding is pretty good, when I gave birth a was hoping to get to 6 months of breastfeeding!
Thank you for sharing your story!
Ali,
I have really enjoyed your blog over the past year. You are an awesome momma!
Just a few things I have learned about breastfeeding that can hopefully save you stress next time:
1. Normal supply at 9 months is about 24 ounces/24 hours. As baby starts taking more solids, that typically decreases to 16-18 ounces/24 hours by 12 months. So it’s totally normal for supply to start dropping around this time.
2. Totally normal for supply to drop some after sleep training. This is usually not a big deal at all especially when you have sleep trained after 6 months, but just something to be aware of. It’s also completely normal to lose some supply if you change from physiologically based “on-demand” feeding to choosing to put baby on a feeding schedule.
3. Breast milk is awesome in that your body changes its composition as time goes by, so older babies are actually getting different fat content, calories, etc. than newborn babies are. So older babies do not actually need more ounces in one setting. Breastfed babies, even at 1 year old, rarely need more than 3-4 ounces in one setting. Paced feeding helps. If they’re still fussy after, it’s probably not hunger. It’s a common misconception that babies need increasing amounts of breastmilk in one sitting over time (unlike formula, which obviously does not change in content over time, so babies DO need increasing amounts of it).
4. It’s okay to reuse a bottle for the next feed. If baby has started it but not finished, you can still use it next time X 1. Totally fine. Breast milk has awesome antimicrobial properties.
You have done such an amazing job. You should be so very proud! It takes so much dedication and effort to feed our babies in that first year however we do it, and you have done a remarkable job. Strong work!
Thank you for writing this! Sounds like my experience but it happened earlier! I exclusively breastfed my son till 4 months but once I was back to work my supply plummeted. He soon started to refuse the breast because the bottle was easier and he could get more milk. It pained me to supplement with formula and honestly I felt a little rejected but now we’re in a good rhythm. He’s almost 6 months and still getting majority breast milk. Hoping to make it to a year!
I had read you blog a lot lately while I was pregnant and after my son was first born because we were going through the same things about one month apart. Now that my son is running everywhere I don’t have as much time to read blog posts, let alone write my own, lol. I was happy to read this post though, I actually blogged about my own weaning process the day after your post! My son was also nursing 4 times a day, about every four hours and I was fortunate enough to be able to exclusively breastfeed. It is so much added stress and pressure when formula is just fine. But I feel lucky to not have needed formula for my son. I’ve weaned off the third feeding and the second one is about to go very soon. It’s going to be hard to stop the morning and night ones! But I know it will feel good to get my body back to myself!!
I would love to hear your reasons for cashew milk instead vs dairy and vs other milk alternatives and what brand you are using, if you are willing to share (I know so controversial) as I’m thinking of doing the same with my daughters! Thank you!
Congrats on making it as long as you did! I had to stop at 5.5 months. Once I started back to work at 3 months it was hard to keep up with while I was working and my supply dropped significantly and made the switch to formula and my little gained some weight. The pic of you and Molly in your wedding gown is beautiful!
Ali, I love reading your blog (was also a big bachelorette fan of yours!). You are amazing for making it over a year and no formula yay!!!! I had similar issues with supply around 10 months, and I am a L+D nurse and lactation specialist so the pressure is extra real!!! The advice nurse told me to only nurse my baby before his naps and bed. It was a lifesaver. And I pumped so much, got an ounce here or there and it added up. Anyway at 12 mo we started some cows milk and then my son also fully weaned naturally (preferred the bottle too!) around 15 months. But then he got terribly constipated so now we give him plant based milks and that has solved the problem, but again now I feel guilty for not breastfeeding still (only a TAD though it is so nice being done!). Anyway so nice to hear about your weaning and cashew milk choice. You are such a loving mama!
Hi Ali,
I’m approaching the year mark and would love to know if you had any informations or websites you could recommend on alternatives to cows milk. I’m very interested in this option and hesitant to go the cow route 🙂 Thanks!
What a perfect time to post this! I have followed your journey with Molly from day one because my daughter was born very close to Molly and we seem very similar with our goals. We are at 13 months now and I am in the process of weaning… and it’s harder and more confusing than I ever thought! I always wanted to make it to a year and be done and I’m a so glad I did… but the mom guilt is real! I went away to DC this weekend for a girls trip and she was completely fine without me and my milk .. it’s all so bittersweet but I’m so blessed to have the experience. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Ali –
I’ve been exclusively breastfeeding for 5 months now with a goal of getting to 7 months. Every time I feel like I want to stop I feel extremely guilty as well. Thank you for sharing this and all of your stories. Hearing what you go through helps to make me feel more normal!
Thanks for sharing Ali! My youngest daughter is 15 months. I was so proud of myself for EBF her as long as I did. I was anticipating a much harder time breastfeeding with another little toddler running around. I planned to breastfeed her until at least her 1st birthday if not a few months after. To my surprise she completely weaned herself off at 11 months. As much as I was ready to be done and have my body back it really took me by surprise and made me a little sad. I am happy to say though, just like with my oldest, the absence of breastfeeding hasn’t caused us to be any less bonded. She’s still a mamas girl and loves her cuddles. I also wanted to meantion that with both of my girls I found that extra last bit of baby weight came off around now (15 months old) once I was done breastfeeding for a few months. I vaguely remember my midwife meantionig something about your body holding onto some of that fat to help with breast milk production. I don’t remember the specifics but it has happened to me twice now. So fingers crossed that maybe the same will happen for you!
I just weaned my 12 month old little girl and it’s my first trip (to LA!) without my baby. 🙁 I love reading about your experiences and the maintenance is spot on. As sad as I was to wean I’m excited to detox and get myself back together. Congrats to nursing for a year to us – such a huge accomplishment!
Such a beautiful photo! I always wanted to get a photo of me nursing my first born son and never did and feel sad about it. I just had my second boy in March so this is a reminder that I need to do that because it’s such a beautiful experience!
Random question regarding cashew milk! So my first born is deathly allergic to cashews (we found out the hard way last fall after he turned 2 and had literally eaten everything under the sun with no problems) but I am wondering if I should maybe introduce it to my second son in the hopes that it might actually prevent an allergy like his brother has (although would obviously need to be careful having it in the house, I realize). Did your ped happen to say anything about why cashew milk was suggested? (I personally am not a fan of cow’s milk and give my toddler goat’s milk) and whether there would be any allergy concerns? Just curious to hear his/her perspective and experience. I’ll bring it up to my ped as well, as I never thought of it instead of cow’s milk!
Love your blog and seeing you happy! Molly is adorable! Since I have boys I will live vicariously through your posts of her! 🙂
Do you use the zoli straw cup for milk? Is it easy to clean the straw? We love the zoli, but just use it for water so it’s pretty low cleaning maintenance.
This was such a awesome post! But I have a question…how did you transition Molly to take her milk from the bottle to the sippy cup? My 12 month old will only take the sippy with water. I tried putting her milk in there and she just refuses even if she’s hungry.
Ali,
That picture of you and Molly in the bathroom, in that beautiful white dress is GORGEOUS!!!!
As a mother of 7 children, I think its a blessing that God made us to feed our children. The closeness you feel when feeding is wonderful.
Still in the progress of reading all your stuff. Its all great!! Thanks
Have a great day.
Donna
p.s. I feel the same about Dean!!!
I’m 5 months in to my breastfeeding journey and it’s inspiring to hear you can make it to a year! It’s such an amazing gift we can give our kids! I’m curious, did you deal with postpartum hair loss? Did you ever use anything like Sugar Bear Hair or Biotin to help? Thanks!
Congrats on making it so far! I’m starting to weaning off my 11 month old baby girl and I honestly don’t want to stop but I work full time and i hate pumping too. Also, I producing less milk maybe because she is eating more solids now. I’m debating between giving her cow’s milk, could you please tell me why you choose cashew milk? I’m not judging I’m just looking for other options that cow’s milk 🙂 Thank you! I followed you on IG and I love to see Molly’s insta-stories. Take care!
I just got around to reading this. Is it weird that I am jealous you made it that far and pumped so much?! Right from the beginning I would only pump about 3-5 ounces consistently. No wonder my son was so frustrated when we would nurse! 🙁 We only made it about 4 months, but we gave it our best, and in the end, my son just needed more than I could supply. I wish we as moms didn’t feel all this mom guilt! At the end of the day, our kids just need to be fed, safe and happy and we’ve done our job. 🙂
Hi Ali! Just saw your Snapchat story and thought I would ask you about Molly drinking milk and reading this post found out you give her cashew milk. I just stopped breastfeeding my 13 month old and he won’t drink milk I’ve tried whole milk, chocolate milk etc no luck! He never took a bottle…. can you tell me why you chose cashew milk I’m thinking about trying that! Thanks!!
Thanks so much for sharing this. I am in a similar situation right now, my almost six month old daughter is wanting a bottle at night when my supply is low. Unfortunately, I don’t make enough when I pump to keep up with her needs so we do supplement with formula. Reading this really makes me feel better about it. Best of luck to you with your next baby, love all of your posts. xo Tina
Hello Ali,
I know this is an old blog but I am just now starting to think about weening my 11 month old due to my supply dropping as well. Did you introduce the cashew milk slowly? Were you concerned about a nut allergy? I have been supplementing formula since about 7 months but it has been a small amount and I am a little apprehensive about using so much more to compensate the supply drop. My pediatrician would like for me to wait until she has her one year appointment to introduce cow’s milk, which I am ok with but I would rather give her an alternative type of milk then use so much more formula. Sorry this is so long winded! Main question, how did you introduce the cashew milk?
Girl, sometimes it’s damned if you do and damned if you don’t. When I breastfed past a year I would get snarky comments about how my daughter was too old to breastfeed and that she should be weaned. I say, we are all different and need to do what is best for ourselves, our family, and our situation! You don’t need to explain yourself, none of us do. We all need to support each other. 💖 love and hugs!