Last night’s Bacheor was really hard to watch. I know many are you are with me when I say that I was very angry with Arie while watching last night. So let’s discuss…
Can You Really Love 2 People?
Once again, it really frustrated me how Arie would say things like “I love you so much!” to the girls. No you don’t Arie! You couldn’t possibly love them both “so much!” Instead you should say something like I love you 50% of the time because I love someone else the other 50% of the time. It just made me so upset. And here’s the thing, I like Arie. I’m sure Arie and I will be friends and I’m gonna see him at some point in the future. And he’s probably going to get on my case for giving him a hard time on my blog all season long. But I also have to call it like it is. And he royally messed up by dishing out so many I love you’s. He just over-did it.
But here’s the thing, Arie has never been faced with a direct question from one of the girls on whether or not they were the one, or whether or not he was feeling the same way about the other girl until Becca asked him on their last date. And I have to say I think he could’ve totally swept it under the rug by saying something like “try not to be in your head and just trust me” like every other Bachelor on every other season. But instead he was totally honest with her and told her that he was conflicted. Obviously that’s not what you want to hear but he chose to be honest and I totally respect that.
And this is totally random. But for those who are wondering, yes the producers tell the Bachelor or Bachelorette to let the contestants speak first when they go down for the final Rose ceremony. That’s why Lauren spoke first and that’s why Becca spoke first. Arie is instructed to basically not say anything until after they speak. However, it’s really up to Arie whether or not he wants to follow those rules. I wouldn’t have. Which is why I sent my runner up home BEFORE the final rose ceremony.
Saying Goodbye to Lauren
His goodbye with Lauren was truly heartbreaking to me. Honestly, he made me believe that he was really in love with both of them in that moment. And who knows, maybe he was. I don’t personally believe you could be in love with two people at once, but that’s also because I’ve never been in love with two people at once. I would love to hear from any of you who feel they have actually experienced that. Maybe it is possible and I just don’t realize it. The look on his face and even the way his hands were trembling just broke my heart.
And Lauren had a good point in her limo when she left. She questioned how he could be ready to get down on one knee if he was unsure about his choice until that morning. And I know the editors let us see her say that because of what ended up happening with Arie and Becca in the end. But here’s the thing, every person who leaves runner up probably said something similar to that, because almost every season of the Bachelor or Bachelorette says they were unsure until the last moment. Keep in mind editing plays a big role in how we perceive these things.
Becca Breakup
Speaking of editing, I really appreciated that they showed us Arie and Becca‘s break up unedited. We got to see both of their faces in an unedited, raw version of what happened. But here the thing. That breakup should NEVER have been filmed in the first place. That is where Arie REALLY lost some major points in my book last night. If you talk to Jason Mesnick about his public breakup with Melissa Rycroft on TV years ago (Google it if you don’t know what I’m talking about) I guarantee you he would say that his biggest mistake was breaking up with her on TV. Why didn’t Arie call him for advice beforehand?!?! Doing it on camera made it feel like he was the producer’s puppet and doing this for ratings instead of really caring about Becca’s feelings.
But I will say that since we DID see that footage of the breakup, and knowing how REAL it was, it made my heart break for Becca even more. I honestly believe with everything in me that those were the most heartfelt and real tears we’ve ever seen on the show. It was gut wrenching to see her go through what she went through. But with that said, I actually respect Arie’s decision to call it off. I know MANY of you arne’t going to agree with me but I need to say it. Just like he said, he knew his decision was not going to be a popular choice. He could’ve very well stayed in the relationship and tried to make it work even though he was still thinking about Lauren in the back of his mind. Heck, he could’ve done what most Bachelor’s and Bachelorette’s do, and dated her for a few months and then break up afterwards. That would’ve been the easier thing to do. But he didn’t do that. He went with his heart and even though what he did to Becca is absolutely awful and heartbreaking, in the end I actually think he did the right thing. What would’ve been way worse would’ve been staying with her knowing that he wanted to be with Lauren. But like I said, he lost all sympathy from me and I’m sure many of you when he brought a camera crew with him to film it.
And also, during his conversation with Becca, we learn that Becca was aware that Arie was struggling. She even knew that he had reached out and had a conversation with Lauren after the show. So it kind of seems like he was trying to be somewhat honest with her after the show even if it was hard.
Becca for Bachelorette!
And I know we’ll find out what happens with Lauren and Arie tomorrow night, but honestly that’s gonna be hard for me to stomach watching (But I will be watching and posting Insta Stories so follow me HERE). It just feels a little bit too soon. What I mostly care about right now is that Becca absolutely, 100% without a doubt, needs to be our next Bachelorette! She deserves it, and I know there are so many people out there including myself who are rooting for her to find love! The real kind of love that I believe you can only feel for one person!
Anyway, I really want to know what you guys think! I keep going back-and-forth thinking Arie is a terrible guy, to thinking he made a big mistake in choosing Becca and he’s doing his best to make it right. I’m honestly not sure which one to think! What do you guys think? Tell me in the comments below!
Before you go, I want to tell you to check out yesterday’s blog post because I am giving away 2 pairs of free shoes! Check that out HERE.
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I can’t help but feel terrible for both Becca AND Lauren! Becca (for obvious reasons), but Lauren too…because at the end of the day, he chose another woman over her but then is gonna go beg for her to take him back. I don’t know, it’s just sad all around to me! Both of these women have been put through the ringer.
I agree with you that I think Arie is just trying to be true to his heart and is trying to do the right thing. He just had a hard time with it. Becca was so right when she asked him why did even get down on one knee.
Interested to see how it all plays out on tonight’s show. It will be hard to watch if Arie and Lauren are a happy couple…I just can’t get behind that yet (still recovering from last night!!!)
I completely agree with you! I also want to address that I have a 25 year old daughter… I feel the age gap is too wide… any thoughts on that?
I agree the age difference is way to much at this point in her life. Not enough life experiences to his. He will tire of always trying to comfort her and it will be over in a short time. I feel for both young women and know that Becca is really better off even though it doesn’t feel that way right now and Lauren may feel that way in a short clip due to not really sure when he tells her stuff will it be the truth or not. Both young women deserved better and shouldn’t have been handled in the manner it was. My heart broke for Becca to have to go through that break up so public and no time to really recover privately before going on TV. My best to all three and the decisions they made and hope they find happiness and comfort soon.
But Becca K. is 27 so what is the difference? I don’t understand how 25 is too young but 27 isn’t? The other Bekah was right, she got a lot of flak for being 22 when there were 23 and 24 year olds on the show.
I agree with you
I actually have a 25 and 36 year old daughter and they are in different places in their life… just my opinion!
Becca is way more mature. Maybe the age gap isn’t that much, but Becca is a solid girl. Strong in her mind and knows her direction. Look at Lauren. Always needing comfort, reassurance, no real direction in life. Arie loved the fact that he had to comfort, console her, and constantly reassure her. He admitted that. The strong women scare off these middle aged men. They want to have a weak one to control.
I do not believe age was s a factor. My husband and I have been together for 18 years and married 15. He is 11 years older then me. We started dating when I was 24 and he was 35. Older men to me were way more mature then younger men. And do I believe he was in love with both of them yes I do. I have been there and it was hard I was way young and ended up ending it with both of them and finding myself and when I did I let my now husband.
I am 25 and married to someone 9 years older than me. I thought it’d be weird (when we first started dating) and even broke up with him temporarily because I was so freaked out of the age gap. But honestly I learned that age is just a number and maturity & compatibility are much more important.
I was 24 when I married my husband who was at the time 35. It’s not meant for everyone, but the age doesn’t have to be an issue. I’m 35 now and we’re still happily married with two beautiful children. I think her need for reassurance will be a bigger issue if she doesn’t let that go.
I completely agree about the age gap. My daughter just turned 26. First of all did you see how ecstatic her family was on the finale. Hugging Arie etc. The whole thing was maddening. I felt like Arie is like many men these days. He wanted the weaker one. The one he can control. He admitted that he likes the Lauren “needs” him and his reassurance constantly. Arie chose the weaker girl. I actually called it out before he did it. I was at home sure he would chose Lauren because of how needy and insecure she is. Don’t get me wrong she’s only 25 so of course she’s immature, but guys these days love their ego stroked by these young girls.
I agree with you that he has to be true to his heart but the thing is, he knew he was conflicted at the very end and he should have been smart enough to realize that and not propose. That has happened before when they are just not ready and he obviously wasn’t ready. Lauren would be a fool to get back with him, I would not trust his sincerity, and who wants to be the second pick? But she seems very young and very insecure so may say yes. Agree about the age difference. Lauren is very immature to me, as was the other Becca with the short hair. I loved her but she was so very immature for marriage and babies and the big,age difference was obvious. Very hard to watch the heartbreak last night!
Does any one know how long after the show they actually dated ? And didn’t Becca wonder why the camara men showed up on their weekend together ? Is this a few days after the final taping ? It’s confusing
They got engaged in mid-November, Arie spoke with Lauren via phone around when the shoe premiered, and he broke it off with Becca the weekend of January 12th. So he and Becca were only engaged (aka together exclusively) for about 2 months.
How do you know those details??
You can read all the details on Reality Steve.
My Boyfriend had to chose between me and his EX of 17 years when she asked him to take her back after we had only been dating a few months. So a person can love two people at once. I knew he was worth it so instead of ending it I said I would give him time to decide. It was torture and came during the holidays. He picked me and we are going on 7 years! I could so sympathize with Becca when she said if she heard Lauren’s name one more time she would puke. My boyfriend had so much history with his EX that it was hard not for him to talk about her even after he picked me.
Ann, I agree with your 2nd sentence. A person can love two people at the same time. However, I don’t believe they can be “in” love with more than one person. There’s got to be “one” person they can’t imagine living without, and that should have been Arie’s choice.
As Arie said, he picked Becca because she was the “safe” choice even though he loved and cared greatly for Lauren. Keep in mind, Arie and Becca spent time alone (off camera) for approx. two (2) months. He could have realized during that time that he and Becca weren’t such a great fit after all. Lauren said he didn’t call her until the night of New Year’s Eve to ask if he had a chance to get back together. I’m sure in her mind her prayers were answered. I wonder if Lauren had said no if he would have tried to work things out with Becca. We’ll have to see how it all works out with Arie and Lauren. In the meantime, I hope Becca finds true love on her season as the Bachelorette.
I heard her broke up with her after two months.
They were together for about 1 month and a half. But keep in mind that they really only saw each other a couple of times because the show doesn’t want them to be seen together until the show ends. As far as the camera crew, I thought the same thing at first but they told her they wanted to get moments of them together to show at the end. The producers of this show really have to stop manipulating people. This show is really out of touch with the times and now with “Me Too” and other groups they have to be aware that they should let this program be more honest and not “edit” the show to be manipulating people into someone they are not.
Yeah I understand why Becca would be questioning why he even got down on one knee and proposed. Here’s the thing, the show is known for falling in love and always at the end getting down on one knee and ending the show with an engagement. So, I feel maybe he had felt a little pressured on the last day feeling like he needs to propose but didn’t really know who and was too scared to take a risk on Lauren so he just went the safer route with Becca but after realized he messed up and shouldn’t have proposed at all and just should’ve kept dating Lauren and see where that goes. I knew he wanted Lauren the whole time. You can tell by the way they are together and how he talks about her rather than with him and Becca. He’s not a bad guy in my mind because he realized he made a mistake and dealt with it right away rather than staying with Becca for months or whatever then breaking it off. He was just following his gut and head and I don’t think there was anything wrong with that. I know it was said he shouldn’t have had them film it when he was breaking it off, but I do think it was better that way for the show and so we all could understand more about the situation. I feel if they didn’t show anything about the breakup everyone would be pissed and confused as to why no one showed anything and confused for why they even broke it off. In the end, it’s a tv show and yes those people have real feelings but they all know there on the show and what that comes with is having cameras on them all the time so it made sense to me as to why they did it that way. I am rooting for Lauren and arie, always have been and I hope they are together and happy. I feel bad for Becca and think it would be awesome if she could be the next bachelorette because I did really like her too. In the end, I just knew he wanted Lauren because of the way they spoke about the undeniable bond and things like how he has this pull toward her. I hope she was able to forgive and they were able to move on together. Everyone deserves to be happy and I hope all 3 of them have made peace and are okay.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 You read my mind. Agree 1000%
Agree with you 💯. I think if the cameras were or weren’t there people would have got made either way. I am happy he and Lauren are happy and he proposed to her. I really believe they truly love each other so much.
Exactly my words.
Really kind of disgusted with him and ABC for exploiting Becca like that. It was just mean to do it in such a manner that everyone knew but her. And than for him to just sit there and not say anything expecting her to talk. Like he was hoping she would go crazy and ABC was probably hoping for it as well for ratings. This was just the lowest of low. Becca dodged a bullet, hope Lauren does too.
I agree. ABC push for proposals when people really aren’t ready them exploit them for money and ratings. Hey ABC last nights breakup wasn’t fun to watch. Those of us with hearts and feeling and compassion didn’t need to see Becca’s private moments.
Would you rather than f him done it on live TV. Because I feel if he didn’t do it with the cameras. People would have been like well what really happen.
I totally agree. The breakup never should have been taped. Shame on everyone involved in that. I can no longer support this show.
I agree he did the right thing letting Becca go. I love her and have been rooting for her since week 1. It’s not right to lead her on and have deeper feeling if you don’t feel the same.
With that said, he lost me when he brought the cameras and didn’t respect her when she asked him multiple times to leave. I get he cares about her , but she needed space. I feel horrible that her break up was for the world to see. That should be personal.
I couldn’t agree more…..he totally crossed over into creeper status in my opinion. She asked him to leave, he did….pondered….then comes back into the room to find her??? and has the nerve to ask if she is OK? um….nooooooo, she’s not ok for a long while after this. WTH?????
You are so right!!! I kept thinking the same thing and he just kept starring at her which was so weird. Even when he came in the last time and asked her if they could sit on the couch and talk for a few minutes and she went to the couch again he just sat there like an asshole starring at her and didn’t say a word, what a weirdo!!!!! If I was her I wouldn’t have dragged it out that long when she told him to leave for the last time and he didn’t right away I would have either asked the camera crew or someone to make him leave or I would have got my bag and walked the fuck out….. I think she should be the next Bachelorlette.
I agree with you. Arie looked like such an idiot. I don’t know why either girl would want him. I kept thinking Becca might tell the camera crew and Arie to get out.
Yes!! He should have respected when she asked him to leave!! And then to come back and ask her to talk and then sit and not talk? It was awkward and a little creepy. If I was her I would have just left myself. (But then again, I’ve never been in that exact position so who knows what I would have done)
Arie looked like a total narcissist. He didn’t show an ounce of empathy for Becca plus he made it seem like it would be the first time he was going to see if Lauren would take him back , but they’d been talking all along. He had her lined up already
Exactly! My husband and I kept yelling at him at the TV to get out! How many times does she have to tell him to leave before he takes her serious? The more he says the more he hurts her–it’s not ok, she’s not going to be fine with this, and she’s not going to want to talk to him. He made her believe she was the only one for him when he proposed, told her how their relationship was better than what he and Lauren had because he couldn’t see a real future with her (in an attempt to reassure her of his feelings), and then betrayed her by breaking the engagement to go be with the woman he told her didn’t measure up to her. I think Becca dodged a bullet. It hurts now, but she deserves someone who is absolutely sure of what he wants, and is not doing what he’s doing because of outside pressure or because he feels that’s what is expected of him. I hope she finds that real love soon, she deserves it.
Exactly what I said! Becca dodged a bullet. He is a weak insecure man who needs to be made to feel manly by a needy woman. He had that with Lauren. Becca is a strong, self assured, composed, independent woman who is just too much for this boy. He would never be able to catch up with her, and Becca wouldn’t be able to stay long in that relationship. He’s the one who is needy!
Omg I agree with you 100%. Guys like him need the insecure girl they can control
I think honestly the producers needed to step in and say “enough” give her space but no instead they followed her around room to room for footage.
Two HOURS ago ABC news. Becca next bachelorette!
Yeah I wonder if Arie had the choice to have cameras or not. Maybe the producers said that it had to be filmed. I was thinking that Becca must have thought it was weird cameras were there since they have never shown footage of the couples in their secret locations in any of the past seasons! Overall Arie was definitely awkward and should have been saying I’m sorry more!
I believe someone said contractually cameras had to be there. I also think that it’s easy to armchair quarterback in the situation but reality is that make up was never going to be easy.
With other couples who broke up prior to the Final Rose they never filmed it. I honestly think he got paid to have them film it. Becca will way better in the long run, not being with someone who is still thinking about someone else. He did the right thing, but in the wrong way having it filmed. Becca for Bachelorette!
Jason Mesnick tweeted that it wasn’t contract related (https://twitter.com/jason_mesnick/status/970884215372853248), so it was ultimately Arie’s decision to break it off with her on camera.
That may be true in his case but those rules could have changed. It sure seems like they wanted him to stick around and elicit some more drama and emotions from
Becca for TV. But she did hold it together pretty well, considering. Since he’d talked with her about his conflicting feelings prior, it couldn’t have been a total shock!
It was a very sad ending to this engagement but I thought it was ridiculous how the show just dragged on and on and on. Poor Becca the camera crew should’ve finally stopped taping. Dumb how they dragged it out. And Arie should of left. I would of slapped him and said get out!!!!!
Money is the
Root of all
Evil.
I can’t help but think the producers insisted it be filmed per his contract. He seemed very anxious to get out the first time, so I think he was made to go back in for more drama. But he needed to say ‘I’m sorry” much more than he did!
Yes!!!! It’s like they wanted him to do it for more drama and attention!!! And wasn’t even really trying to comfort her….if she would of even let him!!
I agree hard as it was he did the right thing. I wanted him and Lauren and hope they end up together. Just wrong of show having him breakup with Becca on live tv. So sad for her. It will all work out.. Becca will be new bachelorette.
It was sooooo uncomfortable to watch. And hearing her sob and then Arie keeps walking around. And then —-
Says please sit down with me again? For what! ABC and Arie should both be ashamed. What a humiliation and poor girl. Who wants to face him and his new girlfriend ON NATIONAL TV! ABC wants another hour of TV at Becca’s expense.
I was shocked at how the episode unfolded last night! I completely agree with you that it’s better to end the relationship if he’s thinking about someone else, because I wouldn’t want to be in that situation only to hear that the other person stayed in the relationship so as not to hurt my feelings. No thank you! I do think it could’ve been handled better and that it definitely shouldn’t have been filmed. I just don’t think that was necessary for us to watch and it was such a personal and embarrassing moment, which should’ve been kept between the two of them. I don’t think I would’ve been as composed as Becca was, so kudos to her.
I think the way you handled it on your season was the classiest way to do it – if you know you’re picking someone else, why would you want that other person to go through more hurt than necessary.
I can’t wait to see what happens tonight, and hope Becca becomes the next Bachelorette!!
I have been in love with two people at the same time and know what it feels like when you can’t let go of either one. I felt for Arie and respected his honesty. Him staying after Becca asked him to leave, I viewed more as unable to leave just yet, because he was still dealing with the breakup himself. It is easy to criticize and say what he should have done and I am sure that he is doing that himself. I feel for everyone involved. This is not a normal setting to find someone so unusual things can happen.
I agree and I think he stayed because he did care about her a lot, it would be easier to get up and leave but he wanted to stay for her. He went about a lot of things wrong but he was honest with Becca saying he was conflicted. Poor gals:(
I agree as well. He stayed because he wanted to make sure she was okay and give her some closure. I feel like it would have been worse if he just left.
I also don’t think Lauren will need the constant reassurance once the show is over. I would probably need constant reassurance on a show like this as well. You are expected to give your whole self and you aren’t sure how the other person is feeling and you’re watching them date other people. How are you supposed to trust that?
I agree o have been there also. I think he handled it the best he knew how to. And you can not help what your heart feels deeply in the end. And where is everyone at after tonight’s episode. So now Becca is the new bachelorette and they havnt been broke up 2 months. How can she be over him that quick. It works both ways.
I agree! She also now knows how manipulative the producers of this show can be, and how low ABC will stoop to get ratings. The segment about the return of her ex was just ridiculously scripted. SHE could have also gotten up and walked away from the cameras when the breakup was being filmed. She didn’t (contractually obligated… most likely).
Becca will probably end up toward the end of her season saying that she loves more than one person, and now understands how that happened to Arie. Go figure.
She lost credibility with me when she accepted the offer of being the next bachelorette.
How much time is there between the time of the proposal and the time The Bachelor/Bachelorette lets the runner up go? I know your situation was different was just curious.
According to Reality Steve, the proposal was in November, and he called Lauren on January 1st to see if she would be interested in taking him back. Arie was with Becca on New Year’s Eve. The breakup was filmed in early January, and then he met with Lauren at her parents’ house on January 18th, I think.
Oh, sorry. I misread that. It’s a couple hours in between. Other Bachelor people have said before that the later in the day it is, the more likely you’re the “winner”.
Thank you 😊
I agree with you Ali about Arie doing the right thing by breaking up the engagement. What I have an issue with is how they stretched out this young lady’s heartbreak for over a whole hour. After 15 minutes we got the point that she was devastated. I didn’t necessarily hAve an issue with the camera being there. My issue is how they showed all that hurt for an entire hour. I was over it after 15 mins…heartbreaking!
I could not agree more! What was sickening to me is that it felt more like they were waiting for her to cry and wouldn’t leave or end filming until she did. It did not feel like he needed more time to talk to her. It felt forced that he stayed so long and that it was solely until she gave them the reaction they wanted. I actually felt good for her at first for not crying. Don’t give them what they want, be strong. I could just see it all over his face, like “Why isn’t she crying yet? I’m gonna stick around until she cries over me.” I finally told my husband, come on, we get it, we don’t need to stare at their silent, blank faces this whole time. That was purely don’t for TV, and it was sick and unnecessary.
I absolutely agree. I fault the Bachelor franchise for dragging it out so long. It could have been 3-5 minutes. Arie kept asking if they could talk, yet he didn’t say anything. I’m sorry I didn’t like him from the beginning and I don’t like him now.
I know! So annoying! Can we just talk and then he would just sit there in silence! Dragged on forever. Should have never aird as long as it did, shame on the show!
Yes! I want to talk but I think he wanted HER to talk. I was waiting and waiting for him to apologize and it was at the very end! He just didn’t seem that sympathetic to her and what he was doing. Almost being selfish about it, that it’s what he wants. I feel like he could have really been more loving and explained more.
I don’t think he should have professed his overwhelming love to both. He should have kept it at a minimum until he was sure. Also, shame on the producers for making this break up drag out for an hour. Made me sick to watch. Totally unprofessional. I too didn’t like Arie from the beginning and to the end. No wonder his is still single. If Lauren takes him back, which I assume she will, she will end up in heartbreak as this guy doesn’t know what the heck he wants.
I agree with you. I felt he was too weak right from the start.
I agree! I would have screamed at him to get out now!!!
I don’t believe it’s possible to TRULY love 2 people at the same time. I think it’s lust. If Arie TRULY loved either one of them, he wouldn’t have felt so conflicted. His heart would’ve made it easy. He wouldn’t have gone to bed thinking about BOTH of them and both of their qualities. I think he got caught up in the process and all of the romantic trips and fantasy suite action. I feel bad for Lauren too but think she’d be a fool to get back with him and marry him. Ben H. “loved” 2 women at the same time and now he’s single. I would love Becca as The Bachelorette but hasn’t the show put her through enough??
I do not think she is ready for it. she might not be over him.
I agree with you Ali! It should never have been filmed but I really think he did the right thing in calling it off. And yes, Becca for the next Bachelorette!!
Becca fpr Bachelorette!! Honestly, it doesn’t bother me that Arie went back on his word, it’s sad he proposed when he wasn’t 100% sure but it was the most heartbreaking thing to see it being filmed. Becca handled herself so well and I was SO mad when she asked him to leave and he stuck around. Then he asked her to sit down and talk, and he DIDN’T talk, it was like he was waiting for her to give him the approval or say it’s ok. I wasn’t the biggest Arie fan throughout the show but still love a great love story, I was hoping it would all work out. But, the way that break up was handled was terrible. I’ve always been rooting for Becca so I hope we get to see her find love as the Bachelorette, if she is ready!
I thought the same thing about Arie sticking around. He was selfish enough to actually think Becca was going to let him off the hook.
I think Arie likes all the attention and doesnt want to let go of the limelight. He left and stuck arnd outside for air time. Then he came bk in to “talk” and didn’t talk at all – in the most hurtful awkward nonexchange – for a big ol’ dose of airtime…bc clearly none of that was for HER benefit. #ick Hope both girls walk. JMHO
I have to completely disagree. I think he hates the limelight. He has admitted to not knowing a thing about social media and has admitted to needing help to navigate being public. He has no desire to be famous. I think that is why he royally messed all of this up. He has no idea what he’s doing and he genuinely wants to get married. He knows he messed up.
Of course he loves the limelight! He’s been on the Bachelor TWICE! If you hate the limelight, you are not on tv!!! TWICE!
I agree with you completely re him not liking the limelight. I thot it was great of him to stay there – there was nothing anyone could do but to leave her alone hurting was worse and that’s why he stayed. He’s a super super decent guy imo. I often say “go away” and I was married to a man that I wished read behind my words – when I really meant “your better not go away. Even tho I’m mad at you I need you”. I’m not married to him now btw lol. Even tho this was different, still I really think he felt it would be indecent of him to leave here alone and stayed awhile for her to at least start to process it. As I said on his IG and also here below, I hope in return she gets to be Bachelorette. Going through that humiliation is not the reason to be Bachelorette, I’m just saying if she is, it’ll make that horrible thing a little less painful.
I think he wanted her to hug him goodbye and that’s why he hung around. Good for her for not touching him.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I think he wanted some kind of closure by hugging and saying he still “loved” her but she wasn’t right for him. But she wasn’t giving him any of that. It was just super awkward and I think once she saw those cameras walk in the door, she knew something was up.
I also feel like he was waiting for her to say “it’s okay” or something along that nature so he could get the closure he wanted. But good for her for being so strong and levelheaded in that moment! I can’t imagine having the resilience she did when getting hit with all of that.
I wonder if the whole break up was recorded for Lauren or at Lauren’s request. She was so unsure of everything the whole season that it wouldn’t surprise me that hearing what he had to say to Becca was a stipulation of getting together. And, I also think that’s why Arie was so cold with Becca at the breakup and not really able to say as much as he wanted. He knew Lauren would see it and wanted to keep what he told her mostly as him just wanting a chance with Lauren…and being “sorry”.
Also, I think it’s so weird when Becca and Arie were celebrating their engagement “dancing” around abd Arie asked her something like “so when are we going to start having babies?” You changed your mind just a few weeks later yet you wanted to talk having babies???
YES! The whole time during the “break up” all I could think about was the baby comment! I am glad that Arie is following his gut, I don’t think that it is easy to do when “caught up” in the emotions of the show! This whole thing has thrown me for a loop! I can’t wait to see how things turn out tonight! Congrats on your baby BOY! You are a fabulous Mama and have {TWO} babies BLESSED to have you as their Mom!💙🎀
But how many people break up on a daily basis after being engaged and have talked about having babies? It’s only weird because it was recorded for tv. He is truly trying to make this real life and find his wife in my opinion.
Agree. We can all sit here and throw rocks at a glass house. It is a show and millions watching. None of us know what it’s like to be in the spotlight and on the show. Maybe these were his true feelings. I really think he did love both of them for different reasons. I think he chose Becca a lot based off his family. I could see the pain inArie when he broke up with Becca he was probably just as nervous and awkward with the cameras there as she was. My thing is why is no one upset at the fact it hasn’t been 2 months since they broke up and she’s already excepted to be the bachelorette. Little confused how it’s not ok for a guy and his love but it’s ok for a girl to get over it so quick.
I felt so bad for Becca. Especially when she wanted to be alone and Arie wouldn’t leave. I kept shouting to the t.v. “Leave Arie!” It was so frustrating watching this play out.
I agree, I don’t think it’s possible to be IN LOVE with two people at once, but it is possible to feel love for them. I was engaged and loved the person, but fell in love with “the one” and broke off my engagement. It was the hardest thing I have ever done, so I feel for Arie, but he truly showed no emotion or remorse. In my experience, I sobbed breaking off my engagement… because he was a good person and I cared but I couldn’t let go of the undeniable in love feeling I had for the other. You have to follow your heart. Luckily I am marrying that person this year and couldn’t be happier! Unfortunately, I don’t think Arie and Lauren will work out, although I do like her. Both girls deserve better!
I think he should not have proposed to Becca at all but with that aside, calling ABC before he broke up with Becca was AWFUL. He might defend that decision by saying the fans “deserve” to know what really happened and that’s why he wanted to film it but at that point, it’s honestly more of a reflection of his lack of decency and desire to be “blameless” than it was about Becca.
I don’t think Arie is evil, I think he’s a person who is very indecisive and goes along with whatever is going on until he absolutely has to make a decision. And ends up hurting more people because he is trying to avoid confrontation. Clearly, we can see how sloppy his dating habits must be if he’s behaving this way on the show. I don’t doubt that this is the first time he’s felt this way about two women.
It’s definitely possible to love two people at once if you are good at compartmentalizing (which Arie admitted on the show). But, even in the show’s environment that is something you don’t want to overdue. Which he clearly did.
He should have taken more time and told ABC he would propose to one of the girls on the final rose or something. At that point, what are they going to do?
I watch this show over and over again and ask myself …..why? You may have answered this somewhere, but if you had the chance to do the show again, would you? I do believe in love at first sight, but I just don’t know how people can fall so “in love” after having 3 dates. How much time are you actually with the final 2? I would like to put a little more time and thought into picking my life partner. Lastly, my husband and I dated for 7 years. We NEVER used the words “vulnerable” and “journey”. Are you told to say that???? Sorry for so many questions 🙂
I’ve read they are supposed to use the word journey and if they say process in their interviews (contestants or leads) then then refilm?
And who goes around talking about their relationship in so much detail with their partner’s family?!
It seems to me he actually cared more for Lauren based on the last few days and the convo he had with his family, but Becca was the safer choice and her love was obvious and not hesitant and that’s why everyone including Arie picked her in the end. I felt similar in Chris Soules season – he picked the one more ready and not necessarily the one he felt more connected to. Now saying that, I can’t see what makes Arie love Lauren because she didn’t open up on camera at all (or so it appears), but clearly there is something between the two of them.
I agree with this. I think that Artie felt more Lauren but was conflicted as all of his family thought Becca would have been the better choice bc of her personality. He seems like a total people pleaser and just wanted to go along with what others thought and not his own personal feelings. You could see he was a little caught off guard when his family said they saw him more with Becca than Lauren.
I also believe that filming the break up was horribly wrong and I felt so sick to my stomach for even watching it.. which is exactly what the network wanted. Like I said Arie seems to want to keep others happy before himself so whether his family, producers of the show, whomever, he is going to do what he thinks they want over what he truly wants. I’m not okay with how he’s putting these two women through the ringer.
However, I can also see that he’s just human and not making the best decisions.
No way Becca should be next Bachelorette..she needs to run away from that show as fast as possible…would be setting herself up for more drama and possible heartache..
and Arie should have run away from Becca as fast as possible when Ross showed up…clear he’s not going away…
Couldn’t agree more. The way she was treated by Arie and the producers in general is atrocious and I can’t imagine her wanting to be involved in it anymore.
I don’t fault Arie for wanting to follow his heart and understand that he fell out of love with Becca; to me, that wasn’t the problem with the season. You can’t “fake it ’til you make it”; end things before it goes any further and move on for both of you.
But her coming back as the Bachelorette after all this?
Very rarely is the “runner-up” the Bachelor/Bachelorette on the next season anyways, much less after what the producers did to her. Such a heartbreaking, raw moment that was paraded around for ratings and drama. She handled it all with such dignity and class; made Arie and the show look even worse. I truly wish her the best but think it might be better for her to find love elsewhere outside of this franchise.
I listened to a podcast today featuring her friends, who said she’s not that upset about the cameras being there for the breakup. She’d have been asked millions of questions about what happened anyways, and this showed everyone.
Agreed! She deserves much better than this show will ever be able to give her. Those producers are swine.
I can’t see how she is emotionally ready to jump into dating 20+ men after what just happened to her. I know everyone keeps saying she will be the next Bachelorette, but if they are filming this aftermath live, then it is still raw for her. Too soon.
I said the same thing. If she was in love with Arie and it hasn’t been 2 months since the break up how can she be ready. I feel like people think it’s ok for a girl to feel and do certain things but not a guy. Little confused. I think what Arie did was what he at the time felt his heart wanted and he was in love with Lauren still and I think he handled himself the best he knew how. Especially being on a tv show in f not of millions of people. That’s a lot of pressure.
When the Bachelor first started so many years ago, there wasn’t so much pressure to propose. But then again, Neil Lane wasn’t handing out rings! ha! Why is there so much pressure now? Is the Bachelor/Bachelorette allowed to leave the show “dating” the final rose recipient?
I felt like Arie’s family was so into Lauren, they made Becca feel terrible by talking about her all of the time! That bothered me also.
Also, I think that Becca and Lauren didn’t think to ask Arie if he was telling the other contestant he “loved them” because each thought they were the only one!! I think Becca picked up on it at the end. It was obvious that Arie’s entire demeanor changed after the family meeting. He seemed stressed all the way through the engagement.
I thought I loved 2 guys once. I was in high school so does that really count? Anyway, I ended up picking the one who told me to take a hike! lol
I wish Arie the best – in the end I think he fell for Lauren late in the show when he thought his mind was already made up. But shame on the producers for allowing the breakup on camera. CRUEL!!
Does anyone feel that it was all produced and they told him that since you love both wouldn’t this be a dramatic ending…you should do this but tell Lauren to wait for you and it will be her in the end? I just feel she took breakup a little better than I thought she would and she obviously takes him back so I don’t know.
Just makes me think the season was tanking and they needed him do so something dramatic and not seen before.
I absolutely feel like that’s what happened. He’s so desperate for fame, this seems like exactly the stunt he’d go along with to keep people talking about him and give ABC the best ratings it has ever had. His season was awful, but this ending sure has everyone glued to the TV.
I agree. I think a lot of it was that the producers understood that this season was a controversial season in who they picked. Ratings for the show dipped and they freaked out, pulled an audible, and set this all up. They knew Arie was a bad choice from the beginning and that his season was (arguably) one of the most boring we’ve ever seen. Come out with a “truly dramatic ending” to things and bump ratings…
It’s the next day and we’re all talking about the show, aren’t we???
What stinks is that there were so many nice women on the show this year. Only drama was Krystal. Too bad they wasted them on Arie. He’s boring. I didn’t watch his season with Emily so I had no idea who he was at the beginning. They made a bad choice having him the Bachelor.
I definitely think it was produced for ratings. I think both Lauren and Becca’s reactions were not as dramatic as would be expected. I don’t understand why he proposed to begin with. He was very clearly conflicted. I don’t think he should be engaged to anyone at the moment. The live breakup was definitely dragged out. Would like to see Becca as Bachelorette.
Totally agreed with this. Even Becca didn’t seem as surprised as I thought she would. She did stay strong until the end. And Arie just stuck around until she finally cried. Shame on the producers and Arie for doing this on camera
Omg I just realized all season long he was saying his fear was choosing the wrong person. It was totally set up and was the plan all along. That’s why they picked him because they knew he didn’t care about his image and would go along for it.
You said it. I think there is way to much pressure to propose at the end. If he wouldn’t have proposed people would’ve still hated him for THAT decision and called him a player, yada yada. It’s like you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. I think once he had time to step away from the excitement of the show that’s when he realized his heart was still with Lauren. I applaud him for breaking it off since he had feelings for Lauren that seemed to only grow in her absence, rather than drag out the engagement and break up down the road after becca made some serious life changes (like moving, planning a wedding, etc). People change their minds, it happens all the time, and this is not the first time this has happened on this show. Jason did the same thing, and look at him and Molly now. I don’t know why he’s such a monster. As far as breaking up on camera, who knew why that was. We know all the show cares about are ratings so they jumped at the bit, but that’s really the only pressing question I had. Why on camera?
I totally agree with your comment.
Agreed!!!!
I was a bit irritated with his family. They said they were going to focus on Becca as a separate thing and then kept bringing up Lauren! I also think I saw much more emotion during the family visit from Lauren (and Arie, actually). Personally, from what I saw, I would not have said Becca was the best choice. But his family did and so he went with them and his mind saying logically she was the one when his heart was really with Lauren.
On a different note: I already knew the spoilers. So knowing that, I saw the broken rose and thought “well, that’s a bad omen”.
I’m so surprised that I haven’t heard/seen anyone mention what happened at the end of Charlie O’Connell’s season. He, too, was conflicted in his feelings, but he handled it like a man and told Chris Harrison that he needed more time. He didn’t make his choice between Krissily and Sarah until ATFR. If Arie was feeling that conflicted, I feel like he could’ve done the same and told the show he needed more time instead of handling this all so horribly.
And then there was Brad Womack. He didn’t choose either of his final two. He was vilified for it, but I have far more respect for him ending things they way he did than leading either of those ladies on.
Yes!!! I remembered there was another bachelor that asked for more time! He should have done that. He likes the chase I think.
Both of these ladies deserve someone way more respectful of their feelings than Arie was this entire season! I feel like the break-up on TV was completely gross and unnecessary. I agree that it could have been handled off-camera in order to respect everyone’s privacy. The Bachelor happens in a compressed period of time and we all know it does not always work out, but no need to sensationalize on air! Becca would be an awesome Bachelorette and I feel like that is the least that ABC could do for her after not only airing the break-up, but having her sit in studio for an interview.
I feel that he truly loved Lauren more and that he was just scared of the relationship because just like Becca said in an interview, she was just like every other girl he had dated in the past. His head was telling him not to go down that same road again even though his heart was more invested in that relationship. His family saw it too. I think at that point it was going to be Lauren but I feel his family really swayed his descion and saying Becca would fit better in his life so he went with the thought of what would fit better. I think it was wrong for doing the breakup for tv but don’t hate him for doing it and really following his heart. It worked out for Jason so i hope it works out.
I really want Becca for bachelorette!
100%
I just replied to anothe comment with the same thought! I think that’s why he couldn’t get over breaking up with Lauren. He chose logic and family opinion over his heart. Yes, she may be like the others he’s dated. But doesn’t that mean that is what attracts him?
Love your blog, Ali! I really admire Becca’s strength. She was way more composed than what I would have been. Also, I don’t know how long between tapings is but for me, I would need more time to heal. Not sure I could jump straight into being Bachelorette…. Although, she has a fantastic personality and would make a great bachelorette!
I totally agree with your post Ali. I have followed you for years and usually agree with your thoughts. One thing that I HATED that arie did last night was that he just SAT there and watched Becca cry after following her around asking for her to talk to him “for two seconds.” I just thought it was super insensitive of him to basically beg her to talk to him and then just sit there without talking! At one point I actually blurted out “just say something already!” I understand that it was hard for him too, but it was frustrating to watch him follow her around asking her to talk to him and then just sit there and watch her cry. I also didn’t feel like he was very sincere when he said “I’m so sorry.” To me it just seemed like he thought that’s what he needed to say in that situation.
I felt like he was waiting for a cue from the producers to leave. Like someone was telling him to stay and try to talk to her and then they finally gave him a green light to go. Why else did he stick around so long? And ask benign questions like “Are you OK?” And the fact that he led the conversation with- “Wow, look at your ring!” (I am about to take that back from you, so let me point it out….) He is so rude and so cruel.
I thought he was commenting on her tattoo not her ring.
I agree with you!! In the end, it’s better that he broke it off now instead of waiting say 5 years down the line married with kids telling Becca he never loved her blah blah. I don’t think it should have been on camera, in fact I would have knocked it out if the way! Ha! People say she was really calm, but I think it was because the cameras were there. Throughout the show she has said a few curse words so I think she would have totally gone off on him if it weren’t for the cameras. I hope she keeps it classy on the live show tomorrow! As for Lauren, she shouldn’t be getting any hate because it’s not like she forced him to break it off or said embarrass Becca on national tv. I think they should try to be together! That would be the cutest love story minus the filming of the breakup on TV. Can’t wait for tonight!
so agree
I totally agree with you me and my hubby both watch and we both agree that it is a good thing he did it now and not down the road being half in with her and having another girl on his mind the whole entire time I personally wouldn’t want to stay in something like that so I’m sure Becca is happy now… But I feel so bad for Becca I can’t imagine the heartache that came with and for that I hope she’s doing well now. And for Lauren I feel so bad for her because now she is going to fee second best and not get that magical moment she deserved being proposed to on TV and the beauty of it so my heart breaks for her too so sad I cried for both of them and I don’t even know them but I feel for them.
Per the spoilers, the engagement party for Arie and Lauren was at a property used by the Bachelor in Paradise organization. Tonight they may show his filmed engagement proposal to Lauren.
How do propose to someone you dumped 2 months earlier and just dumped the one you did propose to. I would said let’s take some time and see how it goes. Not sure the relationship will withstand th test of time.
Great blog, Ali. Bottom love is that he should have never gotten down on one knee and proposed to Becca. In my opinion, watching his face during that proposal spoke volumes. He didn’t look overjoyed to be asking her to marry him; he looked positively broken (from sending Lauren home). From watching him with the 2 girls, you could tell his *feelings* were stronger for Lauren, but Becca as the F1 made more sense.
I saw a clip in the beginning of the show last night that showed Arie talking with Jason. I wonder when that was?
We all know how produced this show is and he was probably pressured to “do a proposal”, but I think it knew deep down that day that he wasn’t ready to say bye to Lauren OR propose to Becca and I have to give him props for being honest with himself and Becca.
As for the filming of the break up, no way should the have been filmed, but I blame production for that more than I blame him.
Becca will definitely be the next Bachelorette & I am looking forward to seeing if he and Lauren can make it work. From what I’ve read, he’s never been very good at sticking with one girl. I wish everyone the best of luck.
Ughh, so many typos! 😂
All I have to say is Jason and Brad Womack are looking pretty good right now lol.
I can’t help but wonder if he ended up choosing Lauren in the end if he would have done the same exact thing. Initially questioning his decision, and instead every night thinking about being with Becca and what life would be like with Becca. Honestly, I feel like he would have done the same exact thing. I think he was in love with both of them the same and it is unfortunately one of those cases where he wants what he can’t have type of scenarios.
YES! Sienne (contestant this season) brought this up on a podcast I listened to this morning and I totally agree. If he would have picked Lauren, he’d have flip flopped for Becca. He doesn’t know what he wants/wants a combo of both women.
It was definitely painful to watch last night’s episode. The 2 things that upset me the most was that if he was so conflicted he should’ve not propose to Becca, to me he was more conflicted and unsure about his decision than most bachelors. Also, doing it on cameras was just awful! I completely understand your point about letting her go and that he was somewhat honest, and I agree with you. The way he did it was just the worse way to do it. Becca needs to be the next Bachelorette!!!!!! She has been my favorite since the beginning
I feel like he should of broken up with Becca AND Lauren because he was obviously unsure about both of them. I guess he “loves” Lauren, but I don’t think he will ever end up marrying her.
Hi Ali,
I completely agree with you in that Arie definitely did the right thing in ending the relationship if he was still thinking about Lauren, however it was disgusting and unfair to Becca to have that filmed!! She deserved so much more and at least to have that as a private conversation, it was truly heartbreaking! I REALLY hope she is the next Bachelorette!
On a side note, I do also feel bad for Lauren in this whole situation as I think she will receive a lot of negativity for a decision that wasn’t hers. If her and Arie are still together, I think this will ruin her “happy couple” moment which is unfortunate since she does seem like such a sweet girl. I think she will receive a lot of negativity for choosing to stay with him after what he did to Becca (even though it wasn’t her fault).
so true.I hope people give her a fair chance. this is not about her. He felt more in love with her and if she was still in love with him,good for them.Hope it lasts.I could tell when he was proposing to Becca he really was not into it.To me Becca just wanted to win.Lauren seemed so much more sincere..
Oh man, that was painful to watch. Arie is one confused puppy. You could tell in the final date with Becca his heart wasn’t with her. He should’ve chose Lauren from the beginning and saved himself and the ladies a lot of heartache. It was clear when he was asking for his families advice that he was disappointed when they said Becca would be a better choice. Becca is clearly a better choice, but not for his weak personality. She’s too strong for him. He needs someone to coddle. Sounds harsh but it’s true. Also, if they ask Becca to be the Bachelorette I hope she says no. That girl deserves better all around. Also, shame on you Arie for publicly filming your break up with Becca. You have zero class. Heartless.
That was so hard to watch last night… I was screaming at my TV. He stuck around to long after he broke her heart. I’m helping to get in trouble for saying this but he had a change of heart and he didn’t string Becca along, she was aware that he was having troubles. But in the end I don’t believe the break up should have been aired. Becca for Bachelorette. My heart breaks for her.
I would assume Lauren will take him back but I hope she doesn’t.
He was the most awkward bachelor to watch.
I agree with Ali except on one thing—I just can’t like Arie! I’m glad he did the right thing by ending something his heart wasn’t in to; but honestly. He’s 37 and doesn’t know how to behave with more sensitivity? There was no need for such a public breakup. I couldn’t even watch all of it, I felt it was too disrespectful to Becca to just sit there and listen to someone’s pain. I don’t fault him for his change of heart. It’s terribly sad, but it happens. It’s not like they had known each other for years—it was still a young and vulnerable relationship. But. Constantly telling two girls you love them? And Arie was careless with his words in general. He promised to choose her every day and could not have ever fully meant that, given what happened. Also, I wondered: When Becca asked him during the breakup if he was going to be half out with Lauren and he said no…Well, wouldn’t that imply that he was really saying he was no longer in love with Becca? At what point did he stop loving her? And how long did he plan that breakup? No wonder Becca felt deceived. But I will say this: I know this doesn’t help with the hurt, but I truly hope Becca knows she dodged a bullet on this one. He didn’t even cry during that breakup. Don’t give someone your tears who can’t give you theirs. Becca deserves so much better—as does Lauren, actually—and they both deserved better than what they got during the finale. We all deserve someone who wants us and no one else, without hesitation. I hope Lauren doesn’t stay with Arie—for her own sake—and I don’t doubt Becca will meet someone amazing, because she handled this whole thing with grace and class. Good luck ladies!
I honestly have wondered how many Bachelor/ettes have been through what Arie went through and not followed through. Like you said, I do think it’s better that he went through with the break up if he knew how much he wanted to be with Lauren, instead of saving face and breaking it off ATFR like he said. He knew that’s what would happen. I think his family influenced his decision saying Becca fit into his lifestyle more, had they of said Lauren, I believe he would have been more inclined to choose her. I’ve been there, listening to my friends/family when making a life choice and the strong influence they have.
I hated watching that breakup. As much as I think Becca deserves to be the Bachelorette and probably will be, it just feels so soon even though it was January when it happened. Her pain last night made me think she wouldn’t be ready (can’t blame her!)
One other thing that I remember from a past season.. does anyone remember Brooks(?) dumping Desiree right before their last date and she was HEARTBROKEN and she told him she was in love with him and then the next day Chris proposed to her and she said yes?! Now they’re married with a baby.. I think it’s more common to feel in love for both than we know, Arie just wasn’t smart saying it over and over for 2 weeks to both girls.
Anything can happen and I hope the best for Arie and Lauren and whatever Becca decides to do.
How much time passed between the proposal and the breakup, do we know? I guess it seems plausible that he just realized after spending more time with Becca, that his feelings for her were not what he may have thought. ALSO, I feel like Arie felt obligated to pick Becca bc on paper they were a better personality fit, and his family all even said that. So maybe he felt like Becca made more sense even though his heart was with Lauren. I think it sucks that he didn’t realize all of these things BEFORE proposing, like it REALLY REALLY sucks, but I can see how under the circumstances of reality TV, maybe he just genuinely felt confused and conflicted and people make mistakes all the time, just not everyone does it on national television.
I agree 100%!!!
Arie shouldn’t have done the breakup on camera. No excuse.
BUT Arie did the right thing in following his heart and not forcing himself to stay in the relationship.
We still don’t know if Lauren reciprocates his feelings about getting back together! He could end up alone in the end!
First- I’m disappointed in myself for giving the show my viewership all season, and especially last night. This has been the most boring season, Arie is a complete snooze and now we find out his also not very intelligent, especially in terms of emotional intelligence. I wish I hadn’t wasted my time on this season and don’t plan to watch tonight. The only thing I want to know is who the bachelorette is!
In the end I am happy for the breakup because Becca is WAY to good for him. Like WAY too good – he needs to end up with Lauren so they can live thier boring lives and have conversations that consist of 10 words or less.
Also- why did he have to be such a creeper? It was bad enough to bring the cameras, but when she asked him to leave, why did he linger for so long?
I 100% agree with this post!! I thought he loved Lauren more the whole time…he kept saying that there was something he couldn’t explain and I think that was very true. I applaud Arie for breaking things off with Becca if she wasn’t the one for him and he felt he made a mistake. But it NEVER should have been aired. No one should ever have to go through all of that and have a camera that close to your face. I think Lauren also made a good point – he shouldn’t have proposed at all if he was that conflicted. I am a MN girl so I have been rooting for Becca from the start and completely agree that she should be the next Bachelorette. She is so deserving and what better comeback story than finding someone she is head over heels for?
Ali,
Is he required to propose at the end?
I mean was he like pressured to do it from ABC?
If he was so conflicted… I wonder why he couldn’t just say I can’t choose right now… and give it more time.
MJ
Brad Womack didn’t propose at the end of his first season. So I don’t think it’s a requirement unless they changed the rules
I’d be really interested in hearing some of your thoughts after listening to Ben and Ashley’s “Almost Famous” podcast — in particular, how void of emotions Arie is in regards to us never seeing him cry or show emotion during ANY break ups. Not even without Lauren and ultimately Becca as well. I’m also curious your thoughts on when they talked about how filming the break up was necessary to set up Becca for the next bachelorette and show “Bachelor Nation” why how necessary it is that she be next.
Love your blog! I do disagree with your claim that Arie did the right thing mostly because he not only proposed, but told her he’d choose her every day. That’s a commitment. Get some couples counseling before you call off an engagement when you make a promise like that.
One more thing.. WHERE WERE ARIE’S TEARS. He seemed like a robot. Okay, that’s all. I like both women, and regardless, I truly believe everyone of them deserves happiness.
I agree. He looked sad, but absolutely no tears. No tears for letting Lauren go. He drove me nuts when he said “byyeee” to her. Nice to meet you, see ya. And then no tears for Becca either. Not as hard on him as he is saying.
Also, so wasn’t a fan of Jason M. when he did it to Melissa, but he at least was bawling when he had to say goodbye to Molly. Tons of tears and Arie had none. Hmm.
Ali, I really do agree with you about the editing. I was happy that it was unedited because I do feel like so much of the show is orchestrated even if the conversations during those are real. This felt real and made me believe in the show once again…BUT…it should have never been filmed. I felt guilty watching such a real private conversation. While you would know better than I about how those private weekends work…I am sure there was a while for him to do it without cameras.
I do think it was strong of Arie to call it off. In the long run, it is the best thing for her to be out of a relationship with someone who isn’t 1000% in love with her. I think she’d be a great Bachelorette but I hope they wait to announce it…tonight would feel too soon.
Love all your posts!
My biggest issue with the whole thing was that Arie didn’t HAVE to propose to Becca at the final rose ceremony. He could have chosen her as his final pick, but it was so hurtful and betraying to propose to her mere hours after he said goodbye to Lauren and STILL said “I love you too” when she got in the car!!!! Becca was ready to commit and had no idea he said that or felt so conflicted. So the proposal felt unfair and I completely agreed with her when she voiced that to Arie, saying he stole that from her. He could have chosen her, dated and see where things went. And I completely agree that he lost ALL respect from me when he decided to film the break up, not even try to console her, just STARE at her crying for what felt like forever (so uncomfortable to watch) and then finally just going after being asked 1,000 times. He’s a major jerk.
I actually agree with you. Leading her on a few more months to appease the public would be awful. However, he lost all respect from me when he agreed to film his break up and completely blind side her. I hope it was not his idea, and production came up with the whole terrible idea. But he still agreed to it. Therefore he’s just as responsible for his jackass move as the producers.
I think if Becca is smart she would say no thanks to being the bachelorette. After they ambushed your heartbreak on national TV just for ratings… I hope she’s smart and doesn’t subject herself to that environment again. She deserves better and more respect.
I’m very curious about the timing of everything! I think Becca or Arie mentioned dating for about 3 months after Peru until he breaks up with her on camera in LA? How long ago did their break up happen compared to airing of the show last night and ATFR? I hope we are clued in more tonight to get a perspective of how raw it still might be for Becca and how much Arie has had the chance to speak with Lauren before tonight!
I will say this for me he knew that he was in love with Lauren and he should have just broke up with Becca before going through the whole proposal to her and saying that she was the one knowing all along that is not how he really felt. I think that honesty is always the best policy and the way he was with her when they were breaking up unedited or not was cold and he didn’t have remorse at all. Becca deserves better than that and I totally agree she should be the bachelorette.
It was so hard to watch. I listened to Ben & Ashley I’s podcast this morning too so a lot of my thoughts in this comment are coming from what I heard there and agree with, but I think they have some good points about how emotionless it felt on Arie’s end. Like… he is calling off the engagement for someone he is supposedly in love with, and he was so stone faced. And the way he wouldn’t leave, left and came back, and then kept insisting he wanted to talk but then was silent and just staring at her….it almost seemed like he wanted to see her cry, and it was so uncomfortable. He definitely lost major points for having them film it. I felt so horrible for Becca.
I also kind of wonder now that he is probably with Lauren, if he has the same thoughts about Becca. I personally am with Bekah M. and don’t see a relationship with Lauren lasting either at this point, but if it does, more power to them. Or if he’d chosen Lauren at the final rose ceremony if he’d have done the switcharoo and broken up with her for Becca. Just because he was SO confused. It almost didn’t seem more like he wanted Lauren over Becca but rather that he wasn’t ready to make the decision, so in the end he went back to the one he said goodbye to too early. So I wonder if he’d have chosen Lauren originally if we would have had the same problem. So hard to tell since he looked so emotionless!! I have no idea what he was thinking. (Disclaimer: Not saying he WAS emotionless… just that he looked it)
No matter if Arie is following his heart he is a complete player and has probably cheated on Lauren already. I’m proud of Becca for being so strong and I do feel bad that Lauren will get some back lash for taking Arie back but honest what an idiot for taking him back. Can’t wait for that break up to happen! He doesn’t deserve anyone.
My thought on filming the break up 1. She knew it was coming – (doesn’t make it easier) but they had conversations about his conflict with his feelings 2. She allowed the cameras to come in and film (Melissa was blindsided with Jason) so she probably wanted that so everyone could see what an ass Arie was being. 3. We don’t know if Lauren is going to agree to give Arie another chance – we just know he is going to try 4. I feel like Becca didn’t show much emotion at first, she just seemed pissed but not shocked or devastated.
Who’s decision was that to have the cameras there? Was it suggested by the show? It seemed real, but, staged in some areas, too..like was he told to hang around when she wanted him to leave?? I don’t know. Wasn’t crazy about that part at all. The show got ratings for sure…
He did the right thing for himself. It’s always been Lauren.
I agree that I think he did the right thing breaking things off now rather than later after knowing he was thinking about Lauren but it was humiliating for Becca! Becca your better off! I always thought he liked Lauren better and that his family might have influenced him to pick the wrong girl. Under these circumstances, I hope Lauren doesn’t take him back and at least gives it more time and see what happens.
Okay…I know they are supposed to choose someone in the end but if he had any doubt in his mind he should have never proposed to Becca. I knew he didn’t want to send Lauren home but I guess he had no choice but then go and propose to someone else?!?!?!?!?!
The whole Becca breakup thing broke my heart and it shouldn’t have been done that way…too long and drawn out. Do it off camera and then after the final rose say they broke up bc of his doubts and then see what happened with him and Lauren.
Another 2 hours tonight……way to drawn out!
I would have enjoyed an edited version much better, it was to long and repetitive. This should of never been filmed it’s personal. While Arie did show signs of concern when breaking up with her, he should of also listen and left when asked and not come back and constantly remind her that he is in love with someone else.
I agree with follow your heart but I disagree with filming the breakup and would not feel good about being his second choice.
I have huge issues with the way everyone is portraying Arie right now. Did he make a mistake? Yes. Do we know why he choose to do it on camera like he did? No. Everyone is assuming HE brought the cameras to break up with her. He seemed just as uncomfortable as she did. I don’t think it was easy for him. I don’t think he went in to this thinking “oh, I think I’ll propose & then break her heart on national tv, cause that’ll be fun!” Should he have proposed if he was THAT conflicted? No. But everyone seems to forget that he is human. He made mistakes. He hasn’t acted like he hasn’t messed up in any way.
As for Becca. My heart broke for her last night. But questions again, why didn’t she take her mic off sooner or ask them to stop filming? She kept saying how embarrassed she was, I can’t even imagine how embarrassed she felt in that moment. But still. Take your mic off. Ask them to stop filming. Tell them to get out of your face. But maybe that thought didn’t cross her mind in that moment because she was so upset. I can’t say. I’m not her. I’m not going to pretend to know how she was felling in that moment.
I guess my take away from all of this is, these are real people, we only see what ABC shows us, we shouldn’t be judging something we don’t know, & by all means I wish some of these people would show a little kindness.
I think the problem is that, from my understanding, there aren’t usually camera crews on the “happy couple weekend” visits. Arie could have gone there, had that conversation in private, and moved on. But there were tapes of him talking to Chris and the cameras BEFORE he actually broke up with her. Maybe they were from afterward and were faked to be before, but the presence of cameras when there usually are none was a bit of a giveaway that he had given them heads up.
As far as Becca and the mic situation…. I think she was a little in shock. Like she said, she felt like her future was being taken away. I think she was a little more preoccupied thinking about that rather than thinking about the cameras. But she did go into the bathroom to cry out of the camera’s view.
I don’t think anyone is insinuating that Arie went into it planning to be hurtful, but they are pointing out that he did it in a very hurtful way. It’s more of a “how he did it, not why he did it” situation. Most people aren’t upset that he made the decision in the end that he thinks was right for him…just that he went about it in the wrong way. It doesn’t make him a terrible person, but people feeling turned off by it or losing some respect for him is a natural reaction.
Completely agree with all of your points. And yes I hope Becca is our next Bachelorette!❤️
I agree with you, i feel like he did the right thing and broke it off with her when he couldn’t stop thinking of Lauren and he was pretty honest with her the whole way. He did the right thing when he wasn’t feeling it anymore. I do feel bad for him in the fact that could you imagine how much turmoil was going on in his head and how scary that would be for him to own up to his mistake and then go and have to rip somebody’s heart out? (Sorry for the run on sentence) I mean what he did was wrong and it was horrible and i am so so sad for Becca. I couldn’t even imagine being in that position. But i still think Arie shouldn’t be ripped to shreds for doing something that was right instead of taking the cowards way out. Honestly i would feel horrible to be Becca or Lauren. Even though he wants Lauren back i would feel like chopped liver if i was Lauren. I was getting annoyed he didn’t leave her alone and kept staying but i think he wanted to make sure she didn’t have any questions and he felt like an ass and didn’t just want to walk away like it didn’t matter. He made a valid point is that he wanted to talk it out before the final rose and it be even more awkward. As for the cameras being there i don’t think that was a big deal. I mean i couldn’t do that personally but they did sign up to be on a show in front of cameras. And yes he could of broken up with her off camera. But then it would still have to be discussed on after the final rose. So at least it being filmed you could see how honest they were with each other and at how strong Becca was during it. My opinion probably isn’t a popular one, but I’m trying to give the benefit of the doubt to all of them for such a hard circumstance. But he shouldn’t have gotten down on one knee with her, but in the end it did happen and he tried to correct his mistake. Everyone is human and screws up.
Oh my GODDDD – that was the most drawn out episode e.v.e.r.
I feel like Arie did love both Becca and Lauren, but loved different things about them. I feel like if he could combine them, he’d have his “perfect person” … if that even exists.
I can’t get over one of the first things Arie said to Becca after he proposed – “So, when can we start having babies?” Like, dude, you’ve literally known this girl for 2 months (and do you even really know her???) Also, it just kinda shows me that he really just wants a “stay at home mom” / someone to dote on him. I don’t know, I feel like Becca is so ambitious that being with someone like Arie would hold her down. She needs someone who has a little more adventure in them. #BeccaForBachelorette
Just my opinion!!!
Can’t wait to spend another 2 hours on the couch tonight… oy!
I guess what I’m confused about is the decision to film the breakup, and it seems at least portions of their other getaway weekends prior to when he actually broke up with Becca. Is that routine practice with each season? It seemed fishy to me that all of it was being documented, as if the show’s producers were looking to drive more mileage out of the season, and in the process, Becca was unassumingly in a most vulnerable position. Not sure if this was the show’s call, Arie’s, or a combination of both.
Ok, here is my two cents for what it is worth. I lost all respect for this program. So much emphasis is put on a proposal that people are asking people to marry them when they are not ready. If someone is as conflicted as he was he should have expressed his love and asked to see where the relationship can go but not propose. After hearing them discuss how he was still conflicted after selecting Becca why didn’t she give the ring back and tell him to come back if/when he was fully committed to her. The fact he broke up with her is not the issue but how they portrayed it. She told him to leave multiple times but he just kept sitting there. I appreciate the comment when she said now he got to see her cry. This is such a personal heart wrenching thing to go through and for them to film it they way they did I find disrespectful and disgusting. I thought this show was about finding love but now wonder if really to see how many hearts can be broken. Long term not sure hold out much hope for his relationship with Lauren. I think if I was her I would wonder if he could do that to me.
I’m am totally fine that he broke it off with Becca, however, it should not have been done on camera and I wanted to slap him when he kept following her and wouldn’t leave when she had asked him like 10 times to just leave! I was with Becca when she said “what else is there to say?” I also felt like he just wanted her to make him feel better about breaking up with her and that wasn’t her responsibility and he just kept telling her over and over that he had feelings for Lauren. I felt like he was almost trying to hurt her and get her to cry.
Ok done with my rant now 😊
I have to start out by saying, love your blog and insight! I look forward to your posts!
On to my thoughts on last night. I can honestly say I don’t fault Arie for the switch. We have all had moments in our lives that we were in the difficult situation, and to go back on a decision we made. People get divorced and break off engagements every single day. The thing I have a have a huge problem with is the hype ABC has been playing, and the way they did the show last night. They essentially took three full hours to poke around what we all knew. (Let’s be honest, the media broke this news to even people who didn’t want to know. It was pretty hard to not know at this point.) They brought out everyone to “talk” about it, but no one truly said anything about the situation. To top it all off, they bring Becca out for all of 2 minutes… Just to say “We will continue this tomorrow.” Let’s have some respect for everyone involved. They didn’t need to show the awkward break up for a full hour. I personally don’t think it needed to be played at all. What did it honestly do for anyone? Now we have to sit through two additional hours of awkward.
It kills me to see everyone bashing everyone online over this. What happened to loving and supporting people? Why are we so quick to get online and judge an edited TV show? Let’s all have some sympathy and remember these are people’s lives! Ps- I immensely respect how you recap the show. It kills me to see what other previous “contestants” post online.
Rant over! Happy Tuesday!
Thanks for clarifying the part on letting the women speak first because I was wondering why he was letting her go on. I completely agree with you. I think he was following his heart and it was the right thing to do to. I also agree he should NOT have done it on camera out of respect for Becca. I am wondering if he’ll be turned down by Lauren.
I feel like Arie’s family got him conflicted more than ever. They persuaded him to pick Becca. Also, the book Becca made about the first baby really hit home to him. He’s 36 and his clock is ticking!! He made it clear he’s ready for marriage and kids ASAP. He listened to his head and not his heart. It made sense to be with Becca, but his heart was with Lauren. I feel so bad for Becca. Arie wasn’t my favorite bachelor. He blew it! Also, he kissed and lead so many girls on during the whole show, he’d be hard man to trust at this point.
He never should have proposed and he only picked Becca because his mom chose her and he was so torn he wanted a guide. Better to break off engagement then after he married the wrong girl ugh
Like watching a car crash though.
Jason Mesnick did do an interview where he said he wished he hadn’t waited until ATFR to talk to Melissa. He regrets doing it on TV and waiting until ATFR.
As for Arie that’s where he royally messed up. To film the break was wrong. ABC was messed up as well. To film Becca so happy talking about the future, the meet up, how happy she was, all while knowing Arie was about to break up with her. Just wrong. I get it, it’s a TV show, but I lost respect for the show just a little bit.
I think Arie breaking things off was the right move if he wasn’t into her 100%. No one wants to be in a relationship where their fiancé is still thinking of another woman and it wasn’t fair to Becca. What was interesting to me was when he said he couldn’t love with his whole heart but when she asked if he could love Lauren with his whole heart he said yes. Interesting.
yep, should’ve respected Becca enough to not film it. I can see changing your mind but 3 weeks later and do it on film, yikes. I definitely think Becca would be the only choice for the next Bachelorette if she even wants to after all that..She is a strong young lady, I wish her the best.
After watching that breakup, I feel that Arie never cared for Becca at all. In fact, I don’t think he ever had intentions on finding love. The way this all is playing out makes it obvious (to me anyway) that he needed more public attention and fame. With that being said, let me explain why I feel that way:
1. As he was sending Lauren away, he still told her he loves her. Shortly after, he proposed to Becca. How can you propose to someone and still love someone else?
2. If he loved Becca or even cared for her a little bit, why would he blindside her with a breakup and film it? If you love and respect someone, you just don’t do that.
3. He tried so hard to show emotion during and after the breakup, but couldn’t. There were moments where it even looked like he was trying to force a cry.
4. The fact that she had to ask him to leave so many times is repulsive. He appeared to be looking for affirmation when all she wanted was space.
When Arie was announced, I was so excited. I loved him on Emily’s season. I was one who didn’t believe anything negative I read about him. Sadly, his actions proved all of those things to be true. I feel bad for Becca and Lauren. They both deserve better. No one deserves to be discounted and embarrassed just for the other party to gain fame. I’m so disappointed in Arie, but also the producers. There are people who go through this experience to truly find love. Those are the people I will continue to support.
I don’t think you can love two people at once. Not the type of love that it takes to build a life together. It was clear to me in that break up with Lauren that he loved her. He didn’t want to see her go at all. And I think he thought he should get engaged at the end of this and Becca was ready for that.
It’s totally okay he broke off the engagement, people do that all the time. But it’s not okay to lure someone to their break up with the pretense of a happy couples weekend WAIT FOR ALL THE CAMERA CREW to get there, and go for it. That was awful. Shame on ABC and shame on Arie for putting whatever contract he has in place over Becca’s feelings.
I know this will be a wildly unpopular opinion but I say no to Becca for Bachelorette! The whole season would just be about what we saw last night and I just can’t take it. Maybe give it a few years like they did with Arie. I’m hoping for Tia or Kendall for Bachelorette!!
As for Arie and the way he just kept sitting there staring at Becca even after she’d repeatedly asked him to leave – it was like he wanted her to tell him it was okay and give him a hug and make him feel better about what he’d just done. I was so glad she stayed strong!
Agreed! It’s too soon! I love Kendall. I would love to see her as bachelorette and I really think she deserves it. It would be along the same Ben H feeling unloved line, because Kendall said she’s always a “novelty” to other people.
I think my main issue is that, yes he’s allowed to change his mind but he didn’t need to break up with her on camera, also it felt like he didn’t value their relationship at all because he didn’t want to fight for her, he was cold and not empathetic at all during that break up, if it was Lauren all along then why the hell did he propose to Becca in Peru, it doesn’t make sense at all, I just think Arie is a douche to be very honest
I thought it was excruciating to watch that breakup. I blame ABC! And when she tells you to go, GO!!!!! I’m sure she would have had a lot more to say if the cameras were not there! Horrible.
I agree, Pam! Then he says he wants to talk for a few more minutes but sits there and just stares at her. The only talking he DID do was to keep reminding her that he was in love with Lauren. Talk about pouring salt in a wound!
I agree. I was sitting there watching it and telling him to LEAVE! She said go, so go. You’ve said what you came to say. Very hard to watch but I do hope she is the next bachelorette.
First of all, congratulations Ali on finding out you’re having a boy! How exciting for you and your family! About the Bachelor and what transpired last night, I agree with pretty much evetything you said, Ali. Too many “I love yous” and he should have never agreed to televising the break up. However, didn’t Becca have a say in that as well? I wondered why her first question to him upon seeing the camera crew show up wasn’t “Why are THEY here???” That alone seems like it would have sent some red flags flying? I am by no means a fan of Arie’s after watching this season play out. Regardless of whether he’s ever been in this situation before or not, he totally disregarded the girl’s feelings when he started throwing out the “I love yous” left and right. After a while it didn’t seem real to me. It didn’t seem like it meant anything. They were just words.
I agree that breaking up with Becca was the best thing to do. Where my problem lies is he should have never proposed to either of them to begin with! He was way to conflicted and there is no way he could have figured it all out in one night and magically had “clarity” (I swear if I hear that word one more time!.. LOL) the next morning. I would have had tons more respect for him and it would have been a redeeming quality in my eyes had he told them both the truth.. That he was too conflicted in his feeling and could not propose to anyone until he worked it out. It was too soon! So for whatever reason he felt he had to dive in and propose to SOMEONE, it was obviously the wrong choice and hearts were crushed. The only good thing is, Becca, in the long run dodged a bullet in my opinion. I think she is too good for Arie and deserves someone who measures up to her. She will find him I know. In the meantime, Lauren pushed for this “love” when I just didn’t see it. I saw “infatuation” between them. I almost see her as a teenager and him as an immature older man who is infatuated with her because she is pretty and reminds him of Emily. Also because she is needy and makes him feel more like “a man”. These are just my thoughts. I really do hope it works out for all of their sakes.
Hi Ali
Your blog was great & very well written!
I sincerely hope they all find love/happiness.
p.s. i’m sending Arie a bouquet of thorns. 😉
I personally think Arie’s parents influenced his decision to pick Becca. He seemed so much more into Lauren until they all suggested Becca was the better choice.
I liked Becca the entire season, but something about this episode turned me off from her. She kept making comments that she was a totally different person than Lauren and I almost felt like she was hinting that she was the better choice/ had the better personality. I also don’t like that she told Arie’s mom that she wasn’t close with Lauren because I was easier to befriend other women in the house. Thy being said, I don’t agree with the on camera break up. It was u comfortable to watch, and Becca did not deserve for that to be broadcasted across America.
I thought it was thoughtless of his mom to ask Becca if she like Lauren. She didn’t say anything bad about her just that she was closer to other women in the house. Not sure why his family keep bringing up Lauren to Becca, I have never seen this before from the families
Did you notice twice he said he wanted to tell her in person. That’s how most adults do break up. He’s very immature for being in his mid 30s. She’s better off without him.
I just cannot fathom how he could get down on one knee to propose if he was not certain she was the ONE for him. He broke both their hearts! I truly understand why this man is 36 and single! Run Lauren, this guy will break your heart all over again if you let him! Hope Becca is the next Bachelorette!!
It was almost expected! He was a flip flopper the whole season! His family got to him too with they’re endorsement of Becca. His breakup on tv was the pits! And he seemed like he fell out of love quite easily! He should of seemed more torn. Anyhow, if he’s with Lauren, which I’m assuming he is, she’s got a lot of guts to let him back in. How long were Becca and he together before he did this? I think it’s pretty much a sure thing his relationship won’t last! Sorry! He’s just too flaky and Lauren is too insecure! Glad this is over! Well almost! NOw we get to see more humiliation tonight. I hope Arie appears sincere and sure!
P.s. Arie needs therapy and so don’t the girls!
Hated that they drug out the breakup for so long. All of that didn’t need to be on tv. And for goodness sake, she keep telling him to leave… why didn’t he leave!!! He just kept sitting there like he was waiting for her to hug him or something. She said leave, he should have gotten up and walked out!
1) Arie should have known better and his horrible decision making regarding everything makes me question his ability to really have any kind of long term relationship. 2) Shame on the producers 3) What are we teaching our daughters?! 4) I have lost all respect for Arie. 5) I feel bad for Becca but I feel worse for Lauren – she is going to be highly scrutinized and personally I feel like their relationship is doomed – 6) I truly hope Becca is NOT the next bachelorette and takes time to heal and put the pieces of her life back together 7) that’s all 💜💜💜
It’s hard for me to commend him for being a good guy just because he was honest with Becca about his feelings for Lauren. That does not make him a good guy or show that he has good character.
If he truly was a good guy—and if he was as conflicted as he said he was—he never should have proposed to Becca. That’s why it killed me when he said, “I choose you today and every day.” How could he say that when he was still thinking about Lauren? That was not fair to Becca.
Why he chose to film the breakup was beyond me. How humiliating for Becca. Have some class, Arie. I lost all respect for him at that point, especially when she kept asking him to leave and he wouldn’t go. He looked so cold and emotionless while he was talking to her, which made him look like even more of a jerk.
As much as my heart broke for Becca, I am SO HAPPY that she is not with him now because she is way too good for him. Becca, he chose a woman who is so completely different from you because you are out of his league and you deserve better!
I feel terrible for Becca. As hard as it probably was for Arie to break it off and go back to Lauren, he most definitely should not have proposed in the first place if he was feeling so conflicted, up to hours before the proposal. Wrong move dude!
Also, everyone keeps saying how he stayed too long when Becca kept telling him to GO. I think he was trying to give her time to process it and talk about it to get questions answered and maybe have a little more closure, rather than breaking it off and leaving right away. As much as I’m not a fan of Arie’s, I thought it was actually sweet that he seemed concerned about her and did feel terrible for putting her through the pain.
I feel like Lauren has been insecure the entire journey and him choosing Becca over her the first go around, will only intensify her insecurities and trust issues even though he did go back to her. Time will tell. I think Becca is great, too good for Arie and hope she’s the Bachelorette too!
Total snooze fest. This has been one of the most boring seasons ever. I wanted to fast forward through 2/3 of last nights episode.
I do agree though, Becca would be a fantastic Bachelorette. No matter what, i can’t wait for the next Bachelorette. The girls are so much more grounded and handle these things so much better
To me he was in love with Lauren, but he was thinking about someone in his family saying they should be able to talk for hours, and Lauren is just quiet. I think he didn’t follow his heart, I could see a difference in how he looked at Becca versus how he looked Lauren. I just saw something different with him and Becca more like friends.
Ali, thanks so much!! It was totally wrong to watch Becca for so long through this breakup!! So wrong and demeaning for her : (. Sorry, I don’t care for Arie and I have very little respect for Lauren if she accepted Arie ~ I mean, seriously, do you really want to be 2nd choice?? If I were Lauren and watched last night, I would have to really question Arie and his sincerity…
I have three main thoughts on the finale and break-up:
1. Arie never should have proposed. If he really loved both women and felt so conflicted, he should have said he needed more time and wanted to continue to date both of them to figure out whether he could see either one of them as his wife.
2. I was convinced that Arie did love both women until last night. Either he is a robot or he didn’t love either one of them. Did Arie shed a single tear when he was breaking up with Lauren? No. Did Arie shed a single tear when he was breaking up with Becca? No. Where is the emotion? If you are saying goodbye to someone who you are truly in love with, how can you not cry?
3. On filming the breakup, I think this is how it went down:
Arie: I don’t want to do it on camera. Let me do it off camera and then we will explain what happened on After the Final Rose.
Producers: Look, you are going to break Becca’s heart. If you truly care about her, at least give her a shot at being the next Bachelorette. The only way we can make her the Bachelorette is if we film the breakup before After the Final Rose. Otherwise, everything will be too fresh for the viewers to get on board with her being ready to be the Bachelorette.
Arie: OK.
I actually have a lot of respect for Arie and how honest he was and for breaking up with a Becca. Though I agree it should not have been filmed. Yes it was heartbreaking to watch and I feel so bad for Becca but he was following his heart. If I was her I would be heartbroken but also wouldn’t want to be with him if he was still thinking of someone else. Clearly he was very conflicted and felt very strongly for those two women. But I don’t think that he loved both those women “so much” at the same time. He just needed some more time to sort through his feelings. I’m sure there’s a ton of pressure to decide. I just wish he would have kept all the “I love you’s“ to himself until the VERY end.
Hi Ali! I think it’s definitely possible to love two people, but in two different ways, if that makes sense. I wish he didn’t propose to either of them to explore his feelings more. I guess that’s where I feel like he felt pressured into “needing” to do so because of the show. When he had his last date with Lauren I just felt like he loved her more. The way he looked at her I just felt it so much more with them. And like she said I feel like he went the easy way out. I thinm because his family had said they liked Becca as a more fit for him. He almost even looked disappointed when they said that, too. I really wish they didn’t do it with cameras around, too. Becca would be a great Bachelorette but if she was in love with him as much as she said she was.. does she even have enough time in between this and next filming to get over it? I feel like it wouldn’t be, but I’m not sure.
Lauren and Becca should run away fast. Away from Arie and the Bachelor/Bachelorette.
I think Arie enjoyed dating and being adored by two women. Both break ups were so bad. I wish that Becca would have told him off or at least grilled him a little. Arie just sat there forever, just leave or say something.
Becca handled it so much better than I would have. I would have been throwing things at him AND the film crew.
Shame on ABC for exploiting Becca’s pain. It was awkward and embarrassing for her and us. I truly hope she finds love. And I truly think it would help her Ali if a kind caring person like yourself that relates to this show speak with her and consoles her. On another note, we love Molly!!! Xoxo
For me, it wasn’t the fact that Arie changed his mind that’s making me think he is the worst bachelor of all time (yes,
I am putting him above Juan Pablo because at least JP didn’t propose when he wasn’t ready!)
Besides the obvious that he should not have allowed that to be filmed, Arie seemed emotionless during the whole break up. I don’t think I saw one tear shed, and he just kind of had a blank look on his face. I’m sorry but you are breaking off an engagement! – he cried when he went Becka M. home, but not when he absolutely blindsighted and crushed his fiancé of 8 weeks? That was the most disturbing part to me!
Oh and knocking on the bathroom door and said “hey, are you okay?”
You are right!! Arie is such an emotionless tool!!!
Hi Ali!!
I have to say you set the bar on your season for sending Chris (I think that was his name) home BEFORE the final rose ceremony. You’re still the best ever in my book. Anyway just had to say that before I get into my reaction.
I can totally understand being in love with two people in this particular situation. BUT there’s a difference between loving someone & being IN love with them. I don’t think Arie took the time to explore that. I think Arie should have been more honest with both Becca & Lauren that last day. If he needed more time, he could have asked them for it. He NEVER should have proposed to Becca if he wasn’t completely over Lauren.
I agree that if Arie still has feelings for Lauren that breaking off his engagement was the right thing to do. The thing that he did that angered me most was lingering around after he broke up with Becca. He obviously felt guilty, BUT instead of doing what SHE needed in that moment, he hung around to try and make HIMSELF feel better. I was sitting there the whole time cheering Becca on to take control of the situation and tell him to go. I’m glad she ignored him while he sat there staring at her while she was crying. I’m sure Arie cares about Becca and felt awful for breaking her heart, but it wasn’t about him at that point.
I was also a little disappointed that Arie broke up with her on TV. I’m also disappointed that the show made her think it was a fun weekend with her fiancé. I feel like Arie could have at least told her he wanted to talk to her in person. OBVIOUSLY we all know what that means, but at least she wouldn’t have been expecting a fun getaway with her fiancé.
I don’t think Arie is a terrible person. He made a mistake that unfortunately hurt people he cares about and now he has to deal with that. I hope that when Becca faces him he’ll do what she needs instead of trying to make himself feel better. I’d love to see her become the Bachelorette, but whatever she decides I hope she finds the love & commitment she deserves.
I’ve been a fan of the show for YEARS. I remember when everyone hated Brad Womack for breaking it off with both DeAnna & Jenny at the end of his first season. I honestly respected him for it. He didn’t to what Jason & Arie did. He knew that he hadn’t found his wife and he spared both women further heartache by not getting down on one knee.
I’ll be interested to see what Arie has to say & if Lauren took him back. I also hope that Becca gets closure.
Hi Ali! I am sooo mad at Arie how he broke up with Becca was AWFUL. Why did it need to be filmed? I truly think Becca will be the next bachelorette.
My opinions are mostly the same. I feel that he did do the right thing by breaking it off with Becca as soon as possible and not continue to drag her along for a miserable future. However, the whole filming it part I’m a little bit on the other side. Becca didn’t know it was coming but I’m sure she did have a say in whether to air it on tv or not. That part obviously wasn’t live and could have stayed off tv if they so chose. I feel that Arie wanted his side heard and he wanted people to know that he was being honest and up front with her about his lingering feelings for Lauren from the beginning. How many of these break ups come back as a nasty he said she said mess and nobody knows the REAL RAW TRUTH. Arie is already getting so much hate for doing this but he could have been nastier and shadier about it. I give him credit for dealing with it the way he did. I felt as if Becca was in so much shock she couldn’t cry until he left. That was hard to see. I feel so bad for her being there alone and not having family or friends to lean on. I wanted to reach through the tv and hug her. My biggest question of all, will Lauren take him back and fully trust him? I wanted it to be her in the end and was really sad to see her go but now I worry that they will have a rocky future because of the way things were handled. I guess tonight we will find out.
What I think is that perhaps he picked Becca because all of his family was routing for her especially his mom. He somehow convinced himself this is the right choice no matter what. At the end of the day he then realized , what did I do!!! I picked the person that everyone else routed for . He didn’t follow his heart and his gut. And with that said, he did what he did, which was the right thing to do and follow “his” heart. Even though Becca is a wonderful person. Becca needs someone that will whole heartedly love “her.” I think many people including a close ex love of mine has done that mistake and lives miserably. The live camera deal was a huge mistake. No one deserves that. Becca was very strong to hold her composure even after the fact. And as for Lauren, she is a sweet girl as well. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her too. She was blind sided as well. I’m sure she didn’t take him right away. Who would . Imagine how confused she was as well. We’ll see what happens today.
I am probably going to get a lot of replies on this one, but I hope not. But I love Arie, and yes it was hard to watch last night. But I truly believe that Arie loves Lauren more than Becca and that he was so torn. If you remember during the season on two different occasions Arie had to excuse himself and walk away, when Lauren told of her feelings, I believe at those moments Arie knew that he was falling in love with Lauren and it scared him, because he had been hurt so badly before. Anyway, I am excited to watch tonight and I am team Arie all the way and I hope he is truly happy with Lauren. And I am sure that we will probably see Becca in Paradise and she will not be in so called love with Arie anymore.
Yes… still love him and hope he & Lauren end up together. I wanted her from the start and believe he did as well.
Breaking Just shouldn’t have been televised.
He should have never proposed to either one of them. They drug out the breakup live footage and that made me mad.
I want to know if he would have picked Lauren, would he have been thinking about Becca the whole time? Or what makes him think if he goes to Lauren, that he won’t be thinking of Becca?! He kept talking about finding a wife, but he doesn’t even know what he wants. Didn’t another bachelor ask for more time before he proposed (Byron??!?) I don’t know what the producers encourage or not, but it’s so bad that Becca had to go through a proposal and a breakup like that. I feel like Arie only wants Lauren because she is blonde, like all of his past gfs. Just so upset.
I totally feel like he made the right decision to break it off, but obviously he should have done it off camera. He needs to follow his heart that’s what finding love is all about.
I’m also glad she asked him why he got down on one knee if he was so conflicted. Maybe he felt pressure to do it because that’s what you’re supposed to do at the end of this show. Who knows!
But I’m actually really glad you brought up Jason Mesnick. Some bachelor fans may not have watched the show back then (I totally did I’m an addict!) . I just feel like people are going to put Arie through the ringer when he’s not the only bachelor to ever do this. I’m a little disappointed that Chris Harrison said this was the most dramatic ending ever when we’ve actually seen this happen before, just in different settings!
All in all I would love Becca to be the next bachelorette because she’s incredible and deserves real love and I really hope that Arie finds his happiness too! If that’s with Lauren then I hope it works out for them. This show is about finding love and everyone’s journies are different and we as human beings should respect that!
Can’t wait for tonight’s episode to see how it all unfolds!
While I agree almost 100% on what you said, I think it might be too soon to be the Bachelorette for Becca. Didn’t this breakup just happen in January? If I were her, I’d take some time out of the spotlight.
Here’s the classic example of a “dick move”. Congrats to Reality Steve for getting it right again!
Arie not leaving and saying let’s talk. He really should have said, “I know I did wrong and I am a jerk. Don’t ever forgive me.” Something along those lines!!!! He’s a physical person and of course, he wanted to hug her or worse, kiss her, to comfort her. That was what he did all season long!!! Thank goodness, Becca told him not to touch her!!
He is despicable. He clearly is confused about love and doesn’t even know what he wants. If Lauren dyes her hair brown or red, the relationship will lose its sizzle. Because, Arie is clearly into blondes!!! Asia’s mom is blonde and so are all his female relatives!!!
I think Becca needs a break from the whole Bachelor franchise for now. It’s too soon for her to be the Bachelorette.
I think my biggest problem is the production and exploitation of it all. Sadly, I am getting really turned off on how this show is done in recent years. Arie telling Chris FIRST before talking to Becca?!?! Hmmmm…..I know that everyone knows what they sign up for and probably have some contractual obligations but everything feels so forced. I was more uncomfortable when it would come back to Chris and the live audience last night. I know, I am big girl and can turn off the tv but it really turned into a ratings push and less of a concern for human emotion. Just my 2 cents. Side note: I can’t get enough of your blog Ali! 😉
Not just Chris, but 50 other people who walked in with big was camera, everyone in the know except for Becca who should’ve been the first one to know. Following her around and not giving her any space.
Can we talk about his family for a moment? Bringing Lauren up repeatedly to Becca! And even asking her how Lauren is as a person! What the hell! His dad’s comment that he’ll be okay with either one! That’s one messed up family or they know either one is not going to last so why bother.
Arie is a jerk for walking in with 100 other people and giving Becca no room to find a private space to sort out her feelings. Everywhere she went there was someone standing there with a big ass camera! They even followed her to the bathroom. I mean I can see this is the only “exciting”thing to have happened the whole season and you want to milk it but it was really someone getting their heart broken. The producers really crossed a line.
I didn’t read any other comments, but since you are bachelor/bachelorette alumni, can you PLEASE, please, please strongly encourage Ben Higgins to ask Becca out on a date. Then all would be right with the/my world!!! In other news, Becca was my top pick from the start, but I really thought he was picking Lauren (well, actually, I though he was picking the other Becca, but then he was suddenly all about Lauren – it was all so confusing). The only other time the bachelor or bachelorette has chosen my top pick from the start was when Jason picked Melissa (what are the odds?). In my opinion, if Arie’s family would have “recommended” Lauren, he would have proposed to her. I think they melted his brain. How can so many people in Arie’s life (including me) know him better than he knows himself?? I hope it works out for them. I feel like everything about this season seem staged or scripted. Back to my request though – if Ben refuses to ask Becca out, do you have enough clout to get her lined up as the next bachelorette??!!?? Please and thank you!
Ooh that would be so amazing. Ben H and Becca K!!! Ali, hook that up please.
Maybe I didn’t hear him right, but when they were talking about him being conflicted and that he had talked to Lauren I thought he said the feelings that he was having for Lauren were starting to fade and he wanted to try it with her before they were gone. I read all of the other posts and no one mentioned this so I guess I’m wrong.
I was also very uncomfortable that he didn’t leave when she asked him to.
I thought it was funny that Jimmy Kimmell said something about being a racecar driver you would think he would understand the meaning of the word “go”.
Honestly, I feel like he made the wrong choice by picking anyone period. If he was so conflicted up until the morning of then it was obvious his heart wasn’t with just ONE girl. I could tell he wasn’t as into Becca as he was Lauren, it was OBVIOUS. But since what happened did happen, I think he made the right choice because he didn’t want to be half in with Becca. But when Becca asked if he would be half in with Lauren he answered too quickly and my heart instantly broke for Becca. I know we’ll be finding out tonight what the deal is with Lauren and Arie but the b*tch in me hopes Lauren was smart enough to not accept him with open arms. AND I know everyone is rooting for Becca to be The Bachelorette but honestly I’m really hoping it’s going to be Tia! I just love her cute bubbly personality.
I agree Ali… being honest NOW was the right thing for him to do since he had doubts.
Wish I didn’t believe Harrison that this had never happened before – it has!
I agree with you I respect his decision 100% and I’m no less of a fan of his or either women!!!! What’s worse breaking off an engagement or breaking wedding vows?!! I’d rather someone break off an engagement and spare me the humiliation of getting dumped at the altar or where ever the ceremony may take place!!! Yes it hurts I’m sure I cannot imagine!!! I don’t think Becca would be emotionally ready to be Bachelorette after this kind of trauma to be honest, I mean she probably hasn’t truly begun processing what happened and is probably still in shock and working through feelings!!! I think Kristina Schulman should be Bachelorette she is emotionally ready and had earned it more than anyone!!! I also have to say how I just didn’t like how Becca treated her ex on national tv, not that she owed him, but I think everyone should be respectful, especially when someone flies so many miles to take a chance!!!! Girls like that ruin it for girls like me who actually appreciate romance!!! Like he probably feels so stupid and will never go out of his way for a girl again!!!
Yes he did the right thing. Was it horrible to watch play out on tv, yes! However, that’s real life. I think we all know that and that’s why it was so hard to watch. Do I feel bad for Becca? Absolutely! It was horrible. However, she signed up for her life to be displayed on tv. I am really not trying to be insensitive; I’m a very compassionate person. It’s just the reality of the show. Arie not leaving when she asked – I was torn. I honestly felt that we were seeing him have true emotion for the first time. I think he felt responsible for her (as he should!) and he wanted to be able to comfort her but also knew he couldn’t. This kind of heartbreak is not easy. Of course Arie could of done this privately, his choice. But ABC also has responsibility in the way this went down. And should we really fault them for airing real life and the messy side of finding love?
I do agree Arie did the right thing but went about it the absolute wrong way! From what I understand pursuasion from production can be tough, but at some point you’ve got to protect the people you care about and he does obviously care for Becca. I would love to see Becca as the bachelorette but if I was her I would be very upset with not only Arie, but the Bachelor production as well. I get show biz is show biz but dang that was harsh.
I cannot see how Lauren could take him back. I would have a huge trust issue there. Who’s to say he won’t be thinking about Becca night and day?! This can’t possibly end well. I would hate to be in either woman’s shoes tonight.
Ok, I get Arie being honest, but what a jerk to put her through that on national television. Jojo even tweeted that The Bachelor doesn’t film “happy couple” weekends. So I look at it as Arie and the show will do anything for ratings. My 3 girls and I watch this show “very light heartedly” and even we went to bed last night just sad for Becca and debated on ever watching the show again. As far as Becca being the next bachelorette, I would tell the show to shove it.
Now for Lauren, I don’t know how she could trust him. Move on find someone who will build her up. Maybe Lauren and Becca’s ex. Now he is a cutie!!!
Good luck to both women, they will be fine. Arie on the other hand, this is probably why he’s still searching.
Here’s the deal… Arie shouldn’t have ask Becca to marry him but he was right in breaking up with her but it shouldn’t have been on camera! Becca girl , you did nothing wrong! Lauren is no villain n doesn’t deserve any hate online as it was Arie who did this. Remember ladies girls got to stick together! However Lauren should really watch last nights show over n over to be sure she wants to marry this “kind” of man. Just be sure girl and good luck to her I truly hope she gets what she wants with Arie. Now personally think its too soon for Becca to be the Bachelorette but she does deserve it:) She needs plenty of time away from the show to find herself again. Kudos to her for the strength she showed through that nightmare!
I lost respect for Arie for giving up so quickly. I don’t think it was a better decision to end the relationship before giving it a fair try. I think he ended it because he was obsessed with the thought of getting Lauren and he was afraid she would move on from him if he waited to long. He absolutely should have NEVER had a conversation with Lauren (which was done face to face just days before he broke off his engagement). He needed to respect the relationship he was in and take advice given to him from former Bachelor/Bachelorettes which was that its normal to still have feelings for the runner up and it will fade in time. Instead he stalked Lauren on social media and had to see her in person because he felt guilt over ending it. All of those things are asking for trouble. We all know he shouldn’t have gotten engaged being so conflicted. But he did. He needed to take that seriously and nurture that relationship. He needed to give it more time. Honest time. Even if Lauren was in his head, he was open about that, but Becca was trying to work through it with him. He acted like he was trying to keep both relationships after the show ended. Sorry, I don’t see leaving the engagement after only 3 weeks as a more honorable way. And I think if he chose Lauren he would have obsessed with the thoughts of “what if” with Becca. I just hope Lauren doesn’t pursue anything with him. He’s afraid of commitment and that’s why he’s single at 36. Too many “what ifs” floating around in his head.
I am so upset by the way this whole thing was handled. I truly think Arie is a womanizer who will never settle down and was only looking for fame by going through this whole process. Don’t get me wrong, I think he had feelings for both of them but I don’t think Arie has it in him to be with one woman for the long haul. Just my opinion. I think Becca dodged a bullet with that one and even though she is heartbroken I think she will be so thankful it ended in the long run. I think she is a classy, beautiful, and an intelligent woman who will make any lucky guy happy. I truly hope she is the new Bachelorette!!!
If Lauren is smart, she will not have anything to do with him. I honestly don’t feel he is ready for any type of relationship at this point. Brutal to watch last night but I feel Becca is better off and she would be a great bachelorette, so I do hope that is announced!
First off I think this show is cruel….but any of the girls who have watched it know what could happen. That said, I do think that in real life if would be hard to be in love with two people because most likely you are in a monogamous relationship not dating several women at once. In Aries situation I think he could love two people because its the nature of that show. What I don’t understand is all of a sudden he doesn’t love Becca anymore? Did he ever really? Will Lauren take him back? My guess is yes because she really seemed to love him. She has had a rough past as far as relationships go so she doesn’t want to get hurt again. I honestly don’t think it will last but we’ll see I guess. I do think he should have left Lauren go before the final rose and maybe the outcome would have been different. By that I mean that he would have realized sooner that she was the one and then Becca would not have been the one he proposed to.
I do think Arie did the right thing by being honest with Becca. Yes, they shouldn’t have aired it. I think that’s very disrespectful to Becca.
The way I take it when he said “he loves both Lauren and Becca” I think he did love them both, but I think he was “more in love” with Lauren, and just “loved” Becca. I don’t believe he was “in love” with Becca. To me I think he proposed to Becca because by choosing her it was the easiest relationship and that his relationship with Lauren scared him more.. I hope this makes sense! 😊
I was not an Arie fan on Emily’s season. It was Jef (with one F) all the way. But I must say I liked him more as the Bachelor.
As heart breaking as it was for Becca, by breaking up with her, Arie did the right thing for both of them.
People are saying it was his idea to do it on camera. I simply can’t believe that. It had to be done for ratings. Whether he had an option to do it on or off camera I have no idea. But then again, Becca could have also refused to be on camera once she knew he was breaking up with her. So it leads me to believe it was not their choice.
I do not believe Arie is a terrible guy, he made a mistake and chose head over heart. I just can’t get my head around what it was about Lauren that was so unforgettable. She’s sweet but I just didn’t see any magic between the two of them.
Anyway, I hope it works out for them. And I guess Becca will be the next Bachelorette.
And if Bekah M doesn’t find love in Paradise, she gets my vote for the next Bachelorette.
do they usually film after the proposal in between after the final rose? I was so confused by this. Why did Becca think that they were filming? Seems she must have known something, right?
Although it was hard to watch, the cameras being there for the break up was all for setting her up to be the Bachelorette. Everything is orchestrated. Nothing makes people root for you more than being broken up with in a devastating way on national television. It’s sad but true.
Ali, what fun to find your blog today, sorry it took me so long. I adored you on the Bachelorette and loved to read about you finding happiness in so many ways. So…for last night’s show, I had heard that this was going to happen (through a source that predicts the endings every time) so I wasn’t shocked, but it’s always hard to see the emotion of such heartbreak, even when I “knew” he was going to tell Becca the truth. I can’t hate Ari, or anyone who knows that continuing the relationship would be worse, even though it will cause many to be hateful. You are one of the few who can probably attest to the fragility of honest emotions on a TV show that can never be true “reality.” I can only imagine that it’s really hard to separate what’s love and what looks like love…especially in exotic locations, with new friends, a film crew, and the reality that there is a “winner” at the end. Anyway, I imagine that Becca will someday say in an interview, that while she was embarrassed and heartbroken, she learned a lot about herself and couldn’t have found happiness unless she’d gone through that horrible ordeal. And for that, Ari has to take blame and responsibility, but kudos for not leading her on and doing the hardest thing of breaking it off. Film crews? Makes me wonder if he talked to Chris and the producers and asked what he should do and they came to this conclusion of having another show, which airs tonight. You are a testament to what works, what doesn’t and yet, you still found happiness…just maybe not how you thought it would happen. And that is worth some tears…’cause look at your smiles now! Happy, happy for you!!
Opps, spelled Ari wrong…sorry. Arie!
You know what I’m super annoyed about?! 1) Thay Becca knew how he really felt and she still kept him around. Uuggghhhh that fristrates me to no end. I don’t care how charming you are or how popular you are or if you’ve already told me you loved me – the minute I find out your ex girlfriend is still on your mind is the minute I break up with you. Instead, she stayed to “try and make it better”. WHAT?! WHY. NO. 2) Thay Arie wouldn’t leave her alone after she told him multiple times to leave. Like, hello- you just broke her heart. LEAVE. 3) Has anyone ever considered the fact that Lauren looks like Emily?! That’s why he loves her so much. My 2 cents. Hehe
Agree. I just hope Lauren is not foolish enough to take him back.
ABC sould NOT have stretched the break up out like that. You got the point pretty quickly that she wanted him to leave ….and him hovering around was a waste of all our times. I had to leave the room & came back not missing anything. That’s not on Arie but the network … I screamed “enough” at the TV multiple times. Arie was stuck bc if he left he would have looked heartless but him staying around was painful to watch. I agree with your blog Ali… I respect him for doing it as soon as possible. People make mistakes … nobody is perfect. Will be interesting to see what happens with Lauren in the long run,
I completely agree with you Ali. I think even if you feel love for two people, there is one that’s stronger and that’s when you’re in love. I think he was conflicted even more when his family shoved Becca down his throat. It seems like in the back of his mind he really wanted to hear Lauren’s name be said from family and he didn’t and it may have swayed him in the wrong direction especially being so conflicted already. However, he’s a grown a** man and should’ve went with his gut feeling unless he doesn’t know what that is.
Breaking up with Becca with the crew filming was just so wrong. It killed me. He should’ve done it privately and trying to be a pawn in the ratings game was so mean towards Becca. I would not accept his sorry when it was done is such poor taste. I understand him recognizing that he made a mistake and rectifying and being honest without dragging it out but doing it with a camera crew there was really cruel and showed a lack of respect for Becca’s feelings.
Every time he said I love you to each woman made me cringe. It was too much and he should never have said it so much. I really hope that Becca is the next Bachelorette. She so deserves the best and to be number 1 choice to the right man. I wish him and Lauren all the best but I’m not a fan of Arie, not for changing his mind and coming to realization that he made a mistake but for how he broke it off with Becca and treated her. He didn’t seem to have remorse and respect for her.
Another thing, is it common to have filming like that after the final rose? I all the years of watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette franchise shows I have never seen any such footage being shown. This was so confusing and seemed super staged. Did she not think it was suspicious?
How do we know that Arie was the one who called the camera crew?? What if it the producers decision??
I’m sure it was but an decent man would say no thank you.
I agree and respect him for following his heart! But man you have to commit with what you are saying as well! I’m not saying he would have stayed but at least give it some time with that short period of time and those emotions he didn’t even gave the chance or fight for it he just cave… so if he always knew she wasn’t why did he chose or or even proposed… he could have said you know I’m uncertain but I choose you and want be with you… and then get down on the knee…
What happens if he gets know with Lauren and she’s also not the one just his idea he is… I honestly think he doesn’t even know what he wants and he hasn’t had the chance to actually realize it.
Bad moves:
Televize the breakup
Not going away when she asked him to, what was there more to say… also she knew the faster he went away also the cameras will turn off… he could have call her later to see how she was doing after she had time to digest it and without the cameras
Also not cool to contact Lauren being with Becca even if he had being honest with her… why waste time with other person instead of working with the person you are with ?
Not cool calling Lauren before te breakup probably yo see if she would take him… not cool from Lauren to talk to him their girl code
Also don’t agree she should be the next bachelorette the show doesn’t usually work is putting her through another breakup see Ali she found her hubby bit on the bachelorette even if she was,
I agree 100% that he should let Becca go. However, that does not exempt him from every single decision he made before that point that led him to be in that predicament in the first place.
Not only did he lead both of these women on with an “i love you”… it was said MULTIPLE times, in deep kinds of ways that would make any woman believe she was the one. He also decided to get down on one knee when the morning of, he “made up his mind”… which to be is extremely unhealthy. I think when you see successful couples in the bachelor/bachelorette world.. or even couples whom lasted a long time but maybe didn’t get married.. they may have had love/care for two people but werent conflicted as to who they were IN love with. When in that degree of doubt—dont make a major decision like proposing marriage.
Perhaps Lauren was the one he was IN love with but chose Becca because it made more sense. I agree that leaving Becca was the best choice (for her too!! she deserves someone 100% in). But what led him to this crazy place is because of his own missteps.
I must admit… no matter how much I felt for Arie.. if I were Lauren.. I would in no way shape or form feel like I won the prize. Sad for both women but in a way.. even sadder for her. (in my opinion). I also did find it tasteless that she posted a pic of herself at the final rose ceremony preparing… meanwhile america was watching Becca hysterical crying.
Both women seem to be beautiful, kind and sweet and I hope they both are happy with however this ends up.
Yes, I agree with these for sure. He should’ve never allowed the break up to be filmed in that way. My heart truly broke for her and it was totally embarrassing. He did not win any brownie points for publicly humiliating her like that. I do agree that he shouldn’t stay with Becca when he’s thinking about Lauren but at the same time, he shouldn’t have proposed to her in the first place. He said “I Love You” to both of them multiple times in both the Fantasy Suites episode and the Finale. That’s just not fair and I don’t think you can be in love with two people at the same time. Yes, you can love two people but not be in love. (just my personal opinion there). I think Becca handled it with such class and grace considering she got completely blindsided with the breakup. I think it all could’ve been prevented if Arie had known what he wanted from the beginning AND been more aware of both of the girls feelings/emotions at the end. He didn’t even apologize or show any emotion in the breakup and then to constantly ask her if she’s okay when clearly she’s not, just seemed really inconsiderate. I do hope that Becca becomes the Bachelorette b/c she really is looking for love and ready to commit. I’m interested to see how the After the Final Rose Show goes tonight.
I knew something was going to happen when he shuts the door to send Lauren away & makes a statement that he should be saying “I love you ” to lauren not saying goodbye.
Having said that, he should not have proposed to Becca. I think he was going with what his family thought was a good fit for him & rushing a decision for a show.
I think its terrible that he & Becca go on a mini get away knowing they are probably intimate shes thinking this is the real deal & he is thinking about another woman. Just grosses me out.
The show was boring from day 1. Ive watched it bc i always have. But i guess there had to be something that caused ratings to go up? And this ending would do that.That is my guess.
My heart goes out to Becca & really Lauren too. Bc girls should not be treated this way. He lost some of my respect for him. However, im glad the breakup happened now & not after a wedding. I just dont see him and Lauren lasting. But who knows.
I have never thought Arie has been very honest this season. It’s the way he talked with the girls in very general, non-specific ways.
I felt terrible for Becca because of how the breakup was on camera but a small part of me wonders if she was really too surprised after knowing he’s spoken to Lauren and talked to Her about how he was struggling. Maybe she just thought it was leftover breakup emotions and that after some time they’d go away.
I felt terrible for Lauren as well. I think throughout the whole show (most of it at least) I could tell it was Lauren he wanted most….despite having to always reassure her. I’m glad she said that he shouldn’t have picked anyone—and we all agree but the last time Brad didn’t choose anyone everyone freaked out!
It’s going to be brutal tonight watching the three of them and I don’t know if Lauren takes him back??
I just wanna say Ali – I agree with you once again on almost every point! I first want to say I probably like Arie more than anyone who has been on the Bach. I don’t know if it’s bc I’m also older and I love his maturity or what. I think he’s just human like all of us, and who has ever been on a reality tv show going through all that? Except you Ali? None of can know what that is like – pursuing a relationship on national television. So having known the spoiler most of the season I was still shocked bc his time with Lauren in the last moments of the show showed to me how in love he was with her too. I think he was conflicted as he said bc his family thought Becaa was the better “business” match but after being with her afterwards, he realized Lauren was the heart match. I do admire him for doing the hard thing, but I also had the most problem with her humiliating her on national television. But as I posted on his IG last night, I hope that after all that – and also kinda because of that! – she also gets to be the Bachelorette. She is just so mature, so fun, intelligent, AND beautiful! What I DO admire about the awful breakup on tv and I feel awful for saying “admire” is how Arie hung around. We all say “go away” when we are mad and/or breaking up but often do not mean what we say and men should learn that about women. And I think men in the situation would just ditch after something like this think: “phew. Thank god THAT’s over!!” And going running into the arms of the other woman. But I think Arie is a super decent guy who yes says I love you too much and kisses too many women too intimately but in the end I loved him and wish he and Lauren all the best. I am just betting they make it. Only question I have for her is he wants those babies NOW! Are you ready for that Lauren?
I said it before ….. Arie just had no idea what he wants. Not ready for a REAL commitment….
I feel terrible for these girls. However they knew going into this… their ❤️‘s could be broken.
SIDE NOTE:
I live in Az and many yrs ago met Arie… He is a very touchy….passionate guy. I knew that JUST meeting him. Not to mention…
His eyes are amazing and I could see how girls fall under his spell.
I hope for all involved … They find TRUE love and happiness and I am TOTALLY “Team Becca” for the NEW Bachelorette 🙂
Arie was so wrong to plan with the production to lie to Becca about their honeymoon home. She was told that it was a getaway again and production is coming to show fans how they’re doing. Good for you Arie that you got the chance to prep what you’re going to say, how you’re going to do it when Becca was kept in the dark about it all. Yeah he might’ve told her he was conflicted but he would have NEVER left her without talking to Lauren and being sure she’s going to be with him. I think it was incredibly selfish and inconsiderate of him to just put her on the spot like that – and to NOT leave her when she kept asking him to? . At least Melissa was in the know of the whole situation. Poor Becca. I was starting to like Arie, but he really messed up with that move..
I feel Arie only made one bad decision. Proposing to Becca instead of walking away from both saying he needed more time. I have no doubt that Arie was pressured into breaking up on tv for the “drama” of it all. We seem to forget that he was feeling conflicted at the time. I also feel that had his family backed Lauren from the start, the outcome may have been different. These are real people with real feelings and as much as my heart broke for Becca, I respected Arie and the decision he had to make for himself.
The thing that gets me is her ex tried to come back for her. Maybe she should have taken him back. Its like the universe was trying to tell her something (or maybe her dad). Also the line when Ari said I pick you everyday. That’s the knife in the heart. Then as she is trying to process everything he kept coming back.
Although I agree with you that the right choice was to break of the engagement, I do think Arie is a horrible human being.
1) He was thinking just about his benefit and emotions, not Becca’s.
2) Bringing the crew to the break up WOWWW just WOWWW.
3) He didn’t look upset at all, that “I have gas” face is the same one the did through out the season, it wasn’t like he really care at all about Becca.
4) And last, what the hell did he proposed!!!!??? What a selfish move.
He is a selfish joke of a man, that’s what I feel and Becca is better of and If Lauren takes him back, well…she is just plain stupid and with low self esteem, nobody who loves themself would agree to be with a guy like that.
Everything Arie did was understandable except for bringing a camera crew. That was unforgivable. Even if it wasn’t his idea to do so, he was spineless to allow it.
Arie did not have to have the breakup filmed. He could have said no or just simply broken up with her in private and then told Chris H about his decision. Instead he went to Chris first and asked or told which ever way it happened that was so wrong. Apparently he is known for having a bad reputation with the ladies so I jus hope he doesn’t treat Lauren in the same manner and hope that they date for a while before jumping into the next step like engagement which I have heard that may already be. Ugh he is not a class act whatsoever and I am glad that Becca dodged a bullet even those it was so hurtful she deserves a guy who treats her as #1 and Is 100% in
It just makes me so upset he let the breakup last on camera so long. She asked him to leave repeatedly and he just kept lingering, and all for camera time if you ask me. Nobody should stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel right, but then he shouldn’t have proposed and I just can’t believe Lauren would want to take him back. Feel so bad for both girls
It was absolutely heartbreaking to watch this episode. I feel so bad for all three of them. You can tell Arie was so conflicted. I feel it would have been best to not propose to either, but unfortunately that’s not what happened.
I’m not so sure that the decision to breakup on tv was fully his, it felt like he was uncomfortable about it. So it might have been the producers who made him bring the camera people along.
I’m looking forward to seeing what After the Final Rose reveals.
I am totally in agreement about Becca being the next bachelorette, she is a great woman who deserves to find a great love.
I do agree that he did the right thing by ending things, especially if he knew that he wasn’t 100% in it. But he absolutely should NOT filmed the break up. I wanted to like Arie. But this was a hard season for me to watch. And now I really don’t like him. The entire season I’ve never once felt like he’s given any of the girls a proper explanation on why he’s sending them home. I feel like this is the reason so many of the ladies this season have left feeling blindsided. That and he leads them all on. Even with Lauren he doesn’t have an explanation for her. And with the break up with Becca, even though he made it know he’d been struggling, it doesn’t seem like he had really explained it to her, and he still couldn’t when breaking up with her. I also hate that he didn’t seem concerned for her feelings and emotions. And maybe I was just too angry to notice, but I don’t believe he said he was sorry until the end, and it didn’t seem sincere when he finally did. I really hope Lauren doesn’t give him a 2nd chance – how does she know he won’t do this same thing to her in a few months? Because he’s missing Becca and feels bad for what he did. I feel like it would end up with heartbreak all over again. He’s the most indecisive Bachelor I’ve ever seen. Sorry, I’m all over the place. Lol
I am so curious, did he ask for the second chance with Lauren before breaking up with Becca? I wonder if Lauren had told him to hit the road if he would have stayed with Becca even though he was only ‘50%’ with her?
According to the rumors by Reality Steve (prob accurate since he got everything else right) he called Lauren when the show premiered (which is what Becca referred to during the breakup) and asked her if she would consider giving him a second chance and she said she would fight for their relationship.. I also agree that if she had said no he wouldn’t have broken off the engagement (at least not yet)
Sienne just confirmed!! This is where I have no respect for him!
I honestly thought the break up was awkward. Her reaction was a little off and he just wouldn’t leave.
It almost seemed like maybe she didn’t really love him. First of all when he walked in they gave each other a casual kiss on cheek. Secondly, she really wasn’t crying at first ( I would be hysterical and hiding my face in the bathroom)!
Aww the whole thing is so heart breaking. I just respect the fact that Arie was so honest. He was just following his heart. He was obviously in so deep with both of them that he was torn! I think if he had proposed to Lauren first, he would still be thinking of Becca.
In this situation he was rushed into making a decision & I feel sad for all 3 of them.
I wouldn’t Hate on him for just following his heart. It must have been awful for him too & I think the producers told him he must do the breakup on camera for more ratings for sure. Either that or he truly wanted to show the nation the reason he broke it off instead of have false rumors spread about it all.
As heartbreaking as it was to watch him break up with Becca, I had to ask myself why she didnt ask about the camera crew being there. Is it that normal to film private stuff like that after the shows tapping that she wouldnt say “whats with the cameras?”
And dont even get me started on the 6!! Times she asked him to leave and he didnt but asked to talk to her then sat there not saying a word. I felt it dragged on too long and i wasted an hour of my life watching one person cry while the other watched. I hope Lauren doesnt take him back and he ends up alone. I know that sounds harsh, but what he did was wrong. If he was soooo conflicted why choose either girl none the less propose to one!?! I only give him slight respect for “going with his heart” but in all honesty he shouldve never picked either girl and to continue to let Becca think she was the wrong was a dick move.
Becca think she was the one was a dick move***
I have not been a huge fan of Arie’s since the start. The way he kissed all the gals from the first episode up until he let them go. I honestly feel he let his family’s feeling and opinions sway his decision to choose Becca over Lauren. There is definitely a difference in personality one being so outgoing and the other a little more reserved. As for the unedited airing of the break up, I think they should have stopped once she had nothing more to say to him. She was in enough pain going through the whole thing, but to keep the cameras rolling and in their faces, especially when she told him there was nothing more to say. It should have ended then. A lot of dead air time just looking at her absorb what had just happened and nothing being said. Personally I don’t think he is ready to settle down. Because had he been, I don’t think we would be here talking about all of this today. Time will tell, but I give it less than a 3% chance of survival (if he in fact is dating Lauren). Very disappointed in this season of the Bachelor. They wasted some great gals on him (sorry but I have to exclude Cuckoo Krystal in that statement, not thrilled with her treatment of the other gals). I wish them all the best in finding the love and happiness they deserve.
Omg they just need the I love you’s to the final rose ceremony.. I don’t think they should have dragged out the break up. My heart went out to Becca. Arie should have left the first time she asked him to and not go back in the house, damage was already done. As for tonight two hours is gonna really drag it all out.. I think next season of Bachelorette they need to star with a whole new cast.. lets leave the old behind and start anew.. go back to how the show actually started…
Seeing Lauren, Arie, and Becca in emotional pain and heartache during the finale- I feel for all of them! I especially feel for Becca because I can relate to being blindsided like that. It worked out for the best because down the road I was actually able to meet the love of my life and marry him. At the time, though, it was hard! So my heart goes out to Becca!!!!!! *hugs*
But, I think it was important for Arie to be honest with Becca whether it was on camera or not. I am not mad at Arie and I don’t hate or dislike him. The cameras should have never been there, though! But I don’t think that was all of Arie’s fault that the cameras were there. I do agree that he should have declined the cameras!
I wish Becca all the best! 🙂 At this point, she should be the next Bachelorette, for sure!!!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
I really hope Lauren and Arie can work things out and be together. Look at Jason and Molly!!! I watched their wedding after they both were raked over the coals by America. Of all people they should have the most empathy and sympathy for Arie and Lauren. I hope they do! Jason and Molly followed their hearts because they are the ones at liberty to make these decisions about who to spend the rest of their lives with…NOT BACHELOR NATION!
I was against this bachelor from the beginning and didn’t watch hardly any of it.
I hope the franchise can learn from this better choices. What everyone is saying is all good opinions!! I don’t think Becca or Lauren would be good for the next Bachelorette. If they love him and can’t see their life without Him that is not fair to the Men who want to find love. Kendall and her Sister should be the next Bachelorettes. All the way through together. They each should have their own 20 men even if you bring 50 and they both pick 20 from that group. This would be exciting and totally take everyone’s mind off this season.
I wish Arie, Becca, and Lauren all the best with their futures. If Arie and Lauren are meant to be our opinions don’t matter. Becca you should be so glad and I really don’t know how either of you fell in love with Him!!!! You will understand after seeing the whole show. Even Kissing the crazy girl when he was letting her go.
#kendallandsisterforbachelorette
I admit I had read the spoilers before this aired, but still.. it was way worse than I expected. Why on heart did he propose to Becca? What Lauren said on her way out about how could he propose to someone if by his own admission he didnt make up his mind until that morning, is so right. How did he possibly think that would be a good foundation for a life together? And yes, for him to put Lauren through the whole speech at the time, was just cruel. But wait, there was something way more cruel just waiting to happen.. to film the breakup with Becca was just horrible. That’s where he really stooped to a new low, that and not leaving when she kept asking him to leave. When he asked if she needed a few minutes by herself? Just downright ridiculous. Because of course you get over a broken egagement in a few minutes.. I felt it was really cruel to not give her the space she so rightly needed. Becca was a real classy lady throughout the whole thing. The way she handled herself.. I was amazed, even more of a fan after that.
Also, I felt like he kept trying to talk to her some more just to come off it better.. just like when he kept saying “oh I was upfront with you”.. OK pal, one thing is saying that you’re struggling with feelings for your runner up, which I think is human (otherwise it’d mean you just lied to one person til the end).. but quite another is to break off an engagement after 2 months cos you love the other person more.. and I agree with you Ali, I believe that while you can develop feelings for two people, you cannot love them both equally.
Arie totally lost me last night. He did the right thing breaking it off rather than dragging it along.. but sorry, he is a grown man and should have acted like a MAN before proposing to anyone.When he was first named the bachelor, one of his exes said something like “oh he’ll be a great bachelor until it comes down to having to choose just one person”.. at the time, I thought, wow.. this is one bitter ex girlfriend (I loved him on Emily’s season and was so excited to see him find love again)… but clearly, she knew what she was talking about!!
Ali, I am curious, I know the whole show is about proposing and all that.. but, considering these circumstances, wouldn’t the producers try to talk some sense into Arie? I mean, it seems to me that all the ex cast develop good friendships with the producers etc.. at the very end, wouldn’t you want to save someone you care for from such a situation? Maybe I am just naive..
Can’t wait to see what happens tonight and absolutely hope that Becca is the new Bachelorette
http://people.com/tv/bachelor-becca-kufrin-talks-arie-luyendyk-jr/
this girl deserves sooo much better
I never did read a spoiler but certainly read and heard enough hints on social media to know what was going to occur on last night’s episode. I agree with so many comments shared in Ali’s blog. I adore Becca and we could all see from the first episode of the season what a gracious, lovely, confident, bright, positive, steady person she is every single day. Of course Arie felt completely relaxed and happy with her! What I kept seeing, even though I kept trying to see the long-term romance thrive between Arie and Becca, was the girl next door, best friend, best buddy and confidante for Arie, not wife. Becca DID fall in love with easy going, kind, doting and physically loving Arie. He fell in love with feeling so at ease with her, and really thought it was true love. His facial expression told the story of his heart when his family shared they thought Becca was the best fit for him. He was shocked and it was not what he wanted to hear. His family saw the fun-loving, happy, bubbly Becca being such a different kind of woman than Arie usually fell for. They were hopeful and excited about what a more out-going, confident woman could bring to Arie’s life. That is NOT the kind of woman that truly attracts him. Lauren, the sweet, quiet, doting, emotionally fragile woman is his type. He needs to feel needed and the stronger person in a relationship. Becca deserves an adventuresome, happy, secure, fun, bright guy. She will find him. She is incredible. She was so strong and respectful of herself during that long-drawn out break up. I think he stayed so long, even though we viewers were all squirming with discomfort and screaming at him to leave, because he respects her and did not want to run out and not allow her the chance to ask him questions or tell him off. It was awkward and painful. She was so humiliated and embarrassed. If Lauren and Arie are still together and have a chance to survive and marry, the public break-up may reassure Lauren, unfortunately at Becca’s expense. Much as I love Becca, I hope she says good-bye to The Bachelor franchise forever.
I feel for Arie. I agree he probably shouldn’t of taken the cameras with him to film the break up but I give him huge props for being honest and trying to make things right. I can’t imagine going into this situation and trying to find your soulmate in such a short amount of time. I almost wish his family didn’t tell him who they thought was the better fit for him. I honestly think that was a game changer. They should’ve discussed it without Arie if it was that important to film. I hope the best for Becka and hope she can have her own shot at the bachelorette. I also hope people can have some compassion for Arie and stop tearing him down. We are all human and there is so much hate in this world.
I think it is possible to love two people at the same time, but I think it would be pretty hard to RESPECT two people at the same time if you are telling them both you love them “sooo much”. I feel like love is the emotion you can’t control and respect is the choice. If he truly respected the two women he wouldn’t have told either of them he loved them until he had chosen “the one”. What he did to both of them was completely disrespectful and that is where I get hung up. He shouldn’t have kept telling them over and over that he loved them both, he should’ve been at least 95% sure before he proposed, and he shouldn’t have brought the cameras in to break up with Becca.
Ali, I watched your season and I thought sending Chris home before the proposal was one of the most respectful things to ever happen in the bachelor franchise. It was respectful to Chris and also to Roberto.
So for me, this whole things boils down to Arie making a lot of disrespectful choices. The whole thing could’ve been handled so differently and everyone would’ve been much better off.
Everyone that has made a comment has a valid point. I agree he should have never said he was in love with both ladies. That’s just wrong…i also agree that when his family said that becca was the best fit for his lifestyle he shouldn’t have based his decision on those words. He’s been telling Lauren for awhile now how he was falling in love with her. On a positive note….i do give props to Arie for ending it sooner rather than later so Becca can get on with her life!!
I think Arie did the right thing in breaking up right when he knew. Like you said, most bachelors/bachelorettes break up a couple months later. I think he is a good honest guy. Watching Arie’s and Becca’s breakup you could see it killed him to do that to her but he had to go with his heart.
It’s reality tv and if you go on a show like this you have to expect and be prepared for anything. I don’t think they needed to show the breakup on tv especially not the entire part. I don’t think it needed to be more than last night either. Why draw it out. I stand by Arie’s decision to end things as soon as possible rather than drawing it out and getting Becca more invested. He was honest with her all along and I respect him for doing what he feels best even if it hurts feelings. Better now than later. Look how happy Jason and Molly are now.
I don’t know if it’s possibe to be in love with two people, I think loving two people VS being In Love with two people….is two different things, also is it just me or has every bachelor/bachelorette said that they are in love with the finale two!?!? ever since Ben Higgins season?!? seems to me like he started all this about being in love with two people, lol
I agree and feel EXACTLY the way you do, 100%. I truly believe this kind of setting is difficult so it’s hard for me to judge, but he went WAY over board with “I Love You’s” –
I think this was a situation where he followed his head instead of his heart (by choosing Becca). That’s what I want to add… I strongly believe he chose Becca because of the influence of his family thinking she fit best into his life, and that ended up being his mistake. It was so obvious to me that Lauren was “the one”, so I was shocked, but again immediately believed he chose the girl with confidence that his family felt was a better fit. It’s who YOU think is the best fit for YOU, period. You can’t help the way you feel.
I was in love with two men at the same time and it tore me up inside because I knew I had to choose just one and break the other ones heart. I didn’t want to make a mistake and choose wrong. In the end I made the biggest mistake of my life! I met both of these men at different times within three months of each other after a 25 year marriage which was not my choice for a divorce. The man I did choose had a one year old daughter and even though her dad and I are no longer together I gained a daughter who will be 23 this month!
Correct me if I am wrong but I read in order for Arie to go after Lauren, he had to do the break up on camera as the ABC contract states. Could there be such a clause?
Anyone else think that he would have done the same thing if he picked Lauren and would have ended up with Becca? He kept doubting himself picking the right person from the beginning almost like he foreshadowed this happening!
There are so many comments, cant read them all, so dont know if this was said but I feel he should go by his heart. I feel like maybe he chose Becca since his family liked her better and felt she would be a better match. It was stated in the show that his type was more like Lauren. Also, he did let her know he was having doubts. No matter what it is still heart breaking for Becca and brutal to watch. Better he broke it off now than later.
I really had mixed emotions watching this last night. When he had finally proposed to Becca and thing he had said to her about choosing her everyday. That just brought me to tears because I knew that was not going to be the case and than to show them together at happy times it just broke my heart more. I do believe that if his heart was not in it with Becca than it was right to let her go. But after to just stay around and follow her asking her to talk and than saying nothing and just watching her cry. I mean she told him to leave so many time and he just stayed not respect her wishes and that really pissed me off. I felt he was very cold and it felt like he was caring for Becca’s feelings. I feel like it should have not been filmed and that he should have put his foot down and said no to the show. But to be honest I feel like he had to do to show Lauren to give her some kind of reassurance that he no longer had feeling for Becca. I just really wish he would have done this differently,but everyone should be happy and hope that Becca get her happy ended and ends up with someone that puts her first and truly loves her.
If I was Lauren I would feel like second place but look at Jason and Molly it worked out so who knows and for that matter Jerry Seinfeld met his wife on her own honeymoon cruise and she was with a new husband who crazy is that?
Becca posted an Instagram story on Sunday before the premiere. She was at a concert with another guy and he kissed her in the Insta story. Becca took it down not even a minute later. I saw the post, and I know she must have realized to take it down immediately. But I doubt she is going to be bachelorette because it looks like she already moved on.
This guy was very careful to protect himself from suffering any public humiliation – he first contacted Lauren, who most likely assured him she’d take him back, and only afterward he broke off his engagement to Becca. I guess he was so concerned with protecting himself, he had no thought left to spare on Becca’s humiliation at his hands.
One has to wonder how differently things would’ve played out had Lauren not given him any positive assurance.
I agree with Bekah.M. If he was so indecisive, than he should of just pulled a Womack and picked nobody. What Arie did is unforgivable, if he truely loved Becca and truely respected her, he would of broken up with her in a more professional manner and not on live television for the whole world to see. I wish Arie the best and I really hope that Lauren turned him down.
Agree with you. I hope Lauren is not foolish enough to take him back, no one should settle for second choice. He knew he was conflicted at the very end, he should have not proposed.
Agree Ladies!! I am not enrolled in Arie, as I feel he doesn’t know who he is and comes across as all kinds of awkward no matter who he is with on the show. No more proposals please, and wish him all the best.
I totally agree with you! I don’t really see a problem with him breaking off the engagement. In the needed to be honest with her and his feelings for Lauren. But the camera crew was too much. I think they were only there to set her up to be the next bachelorette!
I love Becca she is so down to earth, outgoing and beautiful. That’s be awesome for her to be the next bachelorette, but personally I don’t think I could be ready only after a couple months of my broken engagement but I guess everything moves at super fast speed on the bachelor. Lol. I am surprised he chose her tho and not Lauren to begin with. I saw from the very beginning how he catered to Lauren in a way that he did not with the other women. I actually mentioned last time how I thought he looked at her like she was his high school crush. Lol. I think we can all agree that it’s good he followed his heart because leading Becca on while he was in love with someone else is so much worse. What I am thrown off about, is he seemed so disconnected when he was breaking up with her. It’s been mentioned before how he was “cold” when breaking up with other contestants, but this was someone he claimed to love and spent time with beyond the show ! Why behave so disconnected and cold towards her ?! Was it a guard that was up ? Was it because sure he was sad for her but ultimately he had Lauren back home so he got his happy ending ? I remember when Jason Mesnick did it he was so distraught for breaking Melissa’s heart. Btw ! Wonder if Melissa has any thoughts on this having been thru it herself ! I don’t know, all in all so sad for Becca and disappointed that Arie did Display any sympathy for her.
*didn’t display any sympathy for her* ^^^
Hi Ali!
Long time reader – but never commented, though I wanted to weigh in!
I agree with your thoughts about Arie: He really did a disservice to Becca by bringing the film crew. He could have done it off camera and revealed all at the after the final rose; it wasn’t necessary. Either way I’m sure they would have had to face each other on that show, so better to do it before but he should have respected her privacy; breakups are hard enough than to have it projected across millions of tv screens (and on the internet for years to come!). It really showed me that he’s not very empathetic; also, did you notice he really didn’t cry much during the season did he? Not even much when he sent Lauren home, if at all? He doesn’t seem to put thought or emotion into his actions, just does things on a whim (or for fame, perhaps?). Also, it really bothered me how he kept saying “Can we talk for a minute?” and even when he came back after ‘leaving’, he said that. Then he proceeded to LET HER TALK AND JUST STARED AT HER. Why didn’t he say anything to explain himself more and see if she had any further questions? I know it was hard on Becca, but I think he wasn’t doing any good by sitting and letting HER talk about the situation.
I unfortunately DO NOT agree Becca should be a Bachelorette. This was a terrible, heartbreaking situation. They were engaged too! I would hate if the whole thing changed her as a person. Making her turn around and try to get engaged quickly again, would be a mistake, and she may not even be in the right frame of mind. I don’t think this show will work again for her. She needs to cut her losses – she dodged a major bullet where Arie is concerned. She’s a beautiful, successful, down-to-earth woman who is still young. I think Becca will do fine on her own, she just hasn’t given it the time due to her 8 year long relationship. She needs to move away from her town, have some fun and meet new people. I’m certain it will happen elsewhere; I don’t think she has a place finding it on the show though. It’s too soon, and she deserves SO SO SO much better!!!!!!
Thank you for your wonderful blogs 🙂
Kaitlyn (From Canada!)
I have been in love with two men at the same time. It is AWFUL and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. For me, I was in love with a man who I thought was the one I was supposed to be with. I was close to 30, happy and on the path to getting married. Then out of nowhere he ended it. I started dating a younger guy who I thought would just be a bit of fun – then fell for him completely. Cue significant birthday, my ex turns up declaring undying love and commitment {complete with engagement ring}. The next few months wer torturous as I went from one to the other, totally unable to decide where I should be. Ultimately it destroyed both relationships. Hideous.
My tragic dating past aside, they should never have filmed that break up – it was awful. And WHY DID IT TAKE ARIE SO FREAKING LONG TO SAY HE WAS SORRY?! I hope Lauren turns him down and I vote for Becca to be the next Bachelorette.
{all the way from Sydney, Australia!}
I read in one of these comments that he called Lauren the day after New Year asking if she would take him back, it makes you wonder if her answer had been no if he would have still broke up with Becca. If he really wasn’t in love with her he should had the respect to end the relationship before calling Lauren. I don’t have much respect for him and how he treated both of these women. I was thinking of how Dean treated Kristina and Danielle on BIP and believe Arie has surpassed Dean as biggest jerk.
Did you ever blog specifically about your seasons of Bachelor and Bachelorette?
I’m happy for Lauren’s happiness I think Becca is the next bachelorette or tia
While i’m Happy for Arie and Becca, this whole thing should have been handled better. Arie going to Jason for advice shows how selfish he is and how little he really respects Becca and Lauren. If he truly cared about their feelings he would have first gone to Melissa then Molly for advice. And all of this should have been off camera.
??? I’m completely perplexed with your statement. It makes no sense to me. Sorry!
A person cannot be in love with two people at the same time—at least not that kind of love. It is possible to love many people at the same time; were to love all humans.
Arie should have never proposed to Becca if he was not sure. Actually, the show is horrible…period. And the breakup should have never been recorded either. Kissing and carrying on with more than one person in order to find the right one is just wrong.
First of all, I wish that ABC would not insult the intelligence of Bachelor Nation by stating that what Arie did has never been done before…of course it has!! (Jason Mesnick). Although I was shocked, I had more respect for Jason then I did for Arie. He showed no respect or feelings for what he did to Becca. I think that Arie did love both women (for as much as he is capable) for different reasons. Lauren is a needy, emotionally unavailable woman, who is very much like the other women he dated, including Emily. Becca realized this and commented on this before the Final Rose. Lauren is what is familiar to him. He kept justifying that Lauren opened up to him, but she really didn’t. Becca is a strong, intelligent, independent, loving woman, whom he would have been better off staying with, as his own parents recommended. Arie has made a very big mistake, which I believe he will come to realize, by letting Becca go so quickly. He stated that Lauren always needs reassurance, and that can get old really fast. I have no confidence that the relationship with Arie and Lauren will last. Lauren is very naive, and that is why she took him back.. As one reader commented, Arie cheated on Becca, and he will cheat on Lauren, when he realized he made his second big mistake.
I completely disagree. I believe that Arie found his soulmate in Lauren. Becca is extremely extroverted. Lauren is an introvert. What is wrong with that? Many of us introverts are lovable people too, and yes I am extremely introverted but I can open up to the right people.
There are just way too many assumptions being made about Arie, Becca, and Lauren.
As far as Lauren goes, just because she needed reassurance during the show, doesn’t mean she will need reassurance now away from the cameras and other women vying for Arie’s love.
By the way, introverts tend to be more intelligent statistically speaking. 😉
I agree with most everything everyone is saying but here’s one thing I don’t quite get…
Becca and Arie broke up in January (I’m assuming). If she was so heartbroken and so in love with him, how is she already ready to date to be engaged again so soon? It hasn’t even been 2 months. I just don’t get it and it kind of makes me wonder about how real their feelings were. I just don’t understand how you can get over something like that so quick! Just my 2 cents. 😉
However, Becca has to be the classiest girl ever. She seems so sweet!
Becca displayed signs of classiness and grace when forgiving Arie. But sadly, not her foul mouth throughout the show.
Many of us hope Becca will clean up her mouth for The Bachelorette.
I doubt Arie forced ABC to film the break-up. Seriously, Becca seemed to allow the break-up on film too. Arie’s human and flawed, and so are the rest of us. 😉
I hope Arie and Lauren tie the knot soon. I’m so happy for them!
Becca recovered far better than I would have recovered. No way after what happened could I be doing a show after only two months. Her love for Arie couldn’t possibly have been as deep as my love is for my husband. While we were dating, my future husband betrayed and lied to me. I took a long business trip and even dated while away. I couldn’t get over my future husband. We’ve been married for 32 years this May! Now that’s love! ❤
Ali, to answer your question, “How could anyone love two people at the same time?” I am not a super emotional person Arie obviously is. But getting caught up in the whole “Bachelor/Bacherlorette travel and dating experience, I could see how someone could be confused. Becca was very confident. Lauren wasn’t. Arie most likely struggles like Lauren and so when he’s talking to Becca, she’s 100% sure about their relationship. Plus Arie’s family put it in Arie’s head, that Becca would be better suited for him. Some people struggle with confidence. They just do. Jason Mesnick did it as well. I say, let’s be happy for Arie and Lauren. Becca appears to be over her break-up and moving on as the next Bachelorette. Becca will be better off finding her one and only soul mate. However that happens.
I feel like we also all must really think through what Arie must have been going through during the show and give him a little grace. He must have felt pressure to propose because after all, this is The Bachelor, and a proposal is almost expected and desired by the millions of people watching. I know there have been people before that didn’t get engaged or even pick one of the two women at the end (i.e. Jaun Pablo and Brad Womack) but, for me as a watcher, it was a less than desired ending. We all want to see that “Fairy Tale Ending.” I think after spending many weeks with these two women, while I’m not sure what it’s like to love two people simultaneously or at least care deeply for them, but I could see how he could’ve been conflicted and thought he was in love with both of them. I think it also must have been easy to be swayed by his parents since they thought he should be with Becca more. In my opinion, after watching the season, I had a feeling that Arie was deeply in love with Lauren, more so than any of the other girls. They may not have had the best edit but by the way he spoke about her in his interviews, it seemed to me like he had a connection with her that he didn’t with the other girls. I think he knew that deep down Becca was the logical and safe choice. His parents loved her, she was super confident and open about their relationship but he truly loved Lauren. I think he was trying to make the “right” decision by choosing Becca and then realized soon after that he made the wrong choice. Anyways, I feel bad that Becca had to go through that because that would be so hard to go through, however, I also feel bad for Arie as well because that must be hard being blasted on social media when in reality, the audience will never know the whole story.
I actually think the the break up and seeing Lauren happened without cameras. And THEN the producers promised Becca to be a bachelorette IF they could redo the whole break up on film.
That is why a Becca was so cool calm and collected and why lauren was so happy to see arie bc everything had already happened.
One final thought. If Arie ever becomes the father of a little girl would he want a young man to do what he did to Becca?