Hey guys! Thanks for coming to my blog today. I wish I could say this is a blog post where I write all about Molly fighting her nap and then leaving you with some amazing tips of how we solve it! But the truth is, I’ve got nothing for you! Today, I need your help. That’s one of the things I love so much about this blog. I am able to share things that I’ve learned about parenthood or just life in general and then you guys come on here and help me so much too! We’re community of amazing women helping each other out and I just think that’s so special. Here’s what’s going on with Molly.
Naps.
No naps? I wasn’t too alarmed because this happened in the past when she was 2 1/2. We thought it was a rough patch but quickly she started napping like normal again. But this time turned out to be very different. At first, she was fighting it here or there or even for 10 minutes beforehand. Then, she was fighting it every single day and for a good hour beforehand.
1. FLORAL BLOUSE | 2. JEANS | 3. SUEDE BOOTS | 4. MOLLY’S DRESS | 5. MOLLY’S SHOES
I feel like we tried everything. We tried letting her know one hour before so she had plenty of time to mentally prepare for it. And we tried only 30 minutes before and then only 15 minutes before. And then we wouldn’t tell her until five minutes before and then that turned into an hour because she would fight and scream as soon as she found out and it would be impossible to get her in her crib.
Some days we tried the really calm approach of trying to hear her out and assure her that she needed a nap and everything was going to be fine. We also tried just telling her she didn’t have to nap and she could just have quiet time in her crib and she thought that as well. And then there were days when we tried to be more strict and put our foot down and not take no for an answer. I felt like a total, complete jerk on those days but I knew I needed to try something else. And then, of course, there were some days when she would scream and I would scream right back and then those days I felt like a complete failure. I’m human. It happens to all of us parents.
There are so many different scenarios so I want to try to lay out most of them because as any parent knows, when it comes to figuring out a sleep schedule for your child, whether they are a newborn or toddler, there are so many different scenarios. Anyway, if we were able to get her in her crib for quiet time, it was usually after an hour of arguing and by the time we actually got her in there, not only was she exhausted but we were mentally and physically exhausted at that point.
Essentially we put Riley down for his nap at noon and then try to put her down afterwards and couldn’t even get her in her crib until 1 PM. Then usually from 1 PM to 2 PM she’ll just sit there and talk to herself and then start screaming at some point for us to come get her. And meanwhile, I would just anxiously sit next to the monitor watching this all happen and get absolutely nothing done. So then I go wake her up and about 15 minutes later Riley would be up. Nobody was getting any rest! It was beyond frustrating. Let me rephrase that, it is beyond frustrating!
1. FLORAL BLOUSE | 2. JEANS | 3. SUEDE BOOTS | 4. MOLLY’S DRESS | 5. MOLLY’S SHOES
Dropping the nap.
So about a month into this happening, Kevin and I just decided it was probably time for her to drop her nap. So we did. It was so much easier just to let her sit on the couch quietly and read for an hour because she would totally do that no problem! The issue is is that sometime around 4 PM she starts getting really cranky because she is so over-tired. And often the last hour of our day, which used to be our favorite part of the day because we would dance and sing as a family, has now turned into Molly being fussy and throwing fits about 50% of the time. She’s totally fine the other 50% of the time, so it’s really hit or miss.
Sleeping at School?
And the bazaar thing throughout all of this, is that she never actually stopped napping at school. This all honestly started happening around the time that she moved up in classes and started napping at school. So for the first week we actually started picking her up from school at noon instead of 1:30 before all the kids were napping because we didn’t think Molly would nap at school. I mean why would she nap at school when she for sure as heck doesn’t nap at home? Then after a week of her continuing to be a nightmare during her breakdowns at home, we decided to let her stay at school until 1:30 during naptime just to see what would happen. And we were both absolutely astonished to learn from her teachers that not only does she nap but she does every single day. How?! I just don’t get it.
And lately she’s been so tired at home that we will try for the nap sometimes and it will be unsuccessful and she’ll be so exhausted that we end up having to take her for a car ride because we know she will knock out in her car seat. This is happening way more often than I care to admit. Well, it’s happening every time she actually naps during the day.
How Bedtime Has Changed.
I have to mention bedtime, since that is important when thinking about all of this. The days were she does nap at school or get an hour to an hour and a half car nap, she does go to bed a tiny bit later. We will put her in her crib about 10 to 15 minutes later and then maybe it will take her 20 to 30 minutes to fall asleep. Whereas on days that she doesn’t nap, she falls asleep pretty much instantly. But it’s not like it’s a huge fight at bedtime to get her to sleep when she has napped. Granted her naps aren’t 2+ hours. They’re really one hour, tops, I would say. Even at school it takes her a little while to fall asleep and she usually gets a good hour in.
So grateful for all of you!
Anyway, I’m writing this blog today in hopes that anyone has some sort of magical advice for me! Or maybe you’re here looking to read the comments and hoping you’ll get advice as well. And if you don’t have the magic solution! Anything that even helps you a little bit would be so useful for me! Thank you guys so much, I adore all of you, and I’m so grateful to have you all as part of my tribe. This shit is hard. We need to stick together!
Oh, and I thought I would link a few old blog posts here about when it was the good ole days and she slept so well thanks to her sleep training! I wrote a post all about the items that I think are best in the kiddos bedrooms to help get them the best sleep (some items were recommended by our sleep trainer!), and also another post about if I think sleep training is worth it or not! I definitely recommend checking both of these out, especially if you’re an expecting or new mama!
Maybe she’s ready for a big girl bed? She may feel trapped in her crib and transitioning her to a toddler bed may make her feel comfortable enough to sleep. Just switched my son a couple months ago (he just turned 3) and I think he felt trapped. Wanted us to stay with him and would get really upset when we walked out. He’s always been an amazing sleeper. Once we switched he is back to normal and only occasionally asks for us to stay but doesn’t throw a fit if we don’t. Just a suggestion.
Yip the big girl bed fit for a princess will definitely help. Let her help decorate it as she wishes and u will have her excited to go to bed
Yes, we did the same for our son. He loves his bed and his naps.
Have Molly pick a super soft blanket to take to bed with her. Her “snuggle bedtime blanket”, it helps them get cozy, warm and tired along with sleepy music, it works perfect even for mine for who are 11&12.
So correct! It’s not the nap she’s fighting it’s the crib. I’ve never heard of a crib past 21/2 but it’s been a while since I had a toddler. 💕
I have no firsthand experience to lend you any advice, but I have read recently that sometimes at Molly’s age kids may be ready for a big kid bed and that will help them to want to nap. Just a thought! You’re doing a great job!!
Is it time to transition her to a big girl bed instead of crib? My boys both slept and napped so much better once they were in an actual bed instead of a crib. We converted my youngest to his real bed around 2 years old and my oldest at around 20 months! They are both tall for their age and they would hit the side of the crib if they moved and would wake themselves up. I think maybe converting to a big girl bed may help
I agree. Maybe it makes her feel like a baby still. She is over 3 years old. I always switched my kids around 2
Hi! Have you thought about maybe a big girl bed and giving her some books to read in bed of her choice? You can use the okay to wake alarm for her naps so she knows when it’s okay to come back down if she doesn’t fall asleep. Chances are she will end up reading in bed and falling asleep. But to give her that freedom in the room with your restrictions. Either sit quietly in bed and read your books or nap, but either way she has to be up there for “quiet time”.
Agreed!! I was soooo stressed about naps (us parents these days are trained to be so insane about Sleep aren’t we??!! My mom always says she doesn’t remember sleep causing so much anxiety!) things got better for us when we gave him quiet time in his room (big boy bed) and explicitly told him he didn’t need to sleep just rest. He could read play legos whatever. He really loved the freedom, many days he’d fall asleep, many days he’d come out and visit me. I’d let him cuddle or walk him back to his room. It wasn’t perfect but we were definitely all happier through the transition. Also, as we went through this transition and he was soooo tired at 4-5 o’clock, there were many nights we popped him in the car at 5 and let him conk out and we’d transfer him to bed for the night. We don’t need to do this anymore but it helped us transition and him get rest. Eventually he moved through it and can hang happily through the evening. You WILL get your fun hour with molly back!!! The transitions are just hard, and normal!
It is true that there is such a big deal with sleeping these days. There are even people you can hire for sleep training! Back in our day, lol, we just put our kids to bed!
So true…times have certainly changed. I need to check the “baby book” to see when we switched our daughter to a big bed.
I think it is time for Molly to get a big girl bed! Dont know what they use at her school, but This may help her to be excited to be in a big girl bed and she will enjoy laying down. let her help pick out new bedding for it, maybe a new Bedtime only book or nightlight? I started to wean my girls off the naps at 3 1/2yrs old because their school starts preparing them for all day kindergarten. They were super tired and cranky but it just meant earlier bed time. ..and more wine time for this girl! Hang in there, it does get better. Best of luck!
Stephanie, I did this exact thing with my son but I let him watch TV but he couldnt come out until the time went off.
Maybe she’s ready for a big girl bed and not more crib? Since she doesn’t sleep in a crib at school I imagine she might feel like a big girl and it’s easier? Stay strong and implement at least one hour of quiet time and that time ONLY begins when she’s quiet and not pitching a fit. Use a timer and set it with her and when it goes off if she’s awake and rested (read quietly, played quietly alone) she can get up. Most of the time my kids would still just fall asleep and I’d go in and take the egg timer out of the room. Be persistent and don’t give in and let her out! It may be hard for a few days but she has figured out that if she cries enough you’ll let her out and she likes that lol. Keep it up Momma! Their bodies still need rest and we still need breaks in the day as parents! You’ve got this!
I’d say it’s not time to completely drop if she’s so fussy. My daughter is 3 as well and we have a puppy that is holding a ball that lights red for when it’s time to stay in bed and green for when it’s time to get up. We set it for 90 minutes and let her know she can sleep or just lay there and relax but she has to stay in bed until the green light. I also highly suggest getting a big girl bed. At 3, I really think she’s too old for a crib. Hope you get some great advice that works for you!!!
It could be an issue with your schedule. I know ideally you’d like both kids to nap at the same time but she might not be ready yet at noon when Riley goes down for nap.
What time does Molly wake up in the morning? She might need more time awake before nap. She could need as much as 8 hours of wake time. As an example, if she is waking up at 6:00, she might not be tired enough until 2:00.
I would try playing with the schedule and at least try to get an hour or quiet time in. Which I know is easier said then done. Then I’d only let her nap an hour so you don’t have issues at bedtime.
I was going to say this. The older toddlers get, the more wake time they need. I bet you can find a wake time chart on baby sleep site or even google
Hi Ali!!
I love you and your family and I thought I’d drop an email to share some things that work for us, I am married to my best friend of 10yrs and we have two boys 3 & 5 years old. I have been through the nap struggle multiple times.
As the kids get older and talk more we actually have a “family meeting” and sit and talk with the kids about health. It can’t be long because they are small and can’t stay in tune for much but the ideal thing to try is just talk about it with them. And then find a solution. Maybe ask molly if she can pick a “quiet place” for resting versus calling it nap time or a nap. And letting her know the goal isn’t to sleep but to rest her body so she can keep going the rest of the day. Most kids pick a spot like a mat in the library area or if you have a tent— bean bag.. something. And then just work with rest time versus falling asleep. Also maybe ask her why she doesn’t like to sleep, you might be surprised at her answer and can help her if she answers (you might have already asked her but I thought I’d just let you know all of My ideas) I hope this helps in some way!
My boys both still nap at 3 & 5. It’s later in the day like between 1 & 3pm.. and it’s not long, an hour maybe sometimes 1.5hrs.
I hope this is helpful! Your an awesome mom and I enjoy your social platforms.
Also just thought of this (sorry if this is too long lol) but maybe ask what she does in school? Or her teacher what the routine is to get her to the mat/crib bed?
Love ya XOXO
Kaitlin Dewey
I’m going through this exact thing with my 2.5 year old. Seriously. Though she’s not in pre school yet, when she rarely does nap it takes her forever to fall asleep. We just started to do bedtime earlier and enforced “time outs” when she started to get cranky around 4-5 PM. It’s a struggle because you never know how they’re going to act and be. Trust your gut, you’re doing great!
Our little guy went through the same thing earlier this year (he’s 3). At first we tried getting him to nap because he’d just be super cranky if he didn’t nap at all but eventually we decided to just let him stay up until bedtime. It was tough at first and a bit of touch and go but now he’s totally fine without his nap. It’s much easier for planning things now too!
He still rests at daycare when he’s there, and bedtime can be tough if he does. But because he uses so much energy when he’s there bedtime is usually welcome lol.
I hope that helps give you some reassurance ❤️
My thought was also maybe a toddler bed. May have to deal with taking her back to bed a few more times. But has a bit of freedom at the same time. She will feel it’s more of her choice to go to bed when she can do it herself vs being put in and stuck in there.
I agree with the others regarding transitioning her into a bigger bed. Also, my 4 yr old still takes 3-4 naps per week, but it usually requires me laying with him. Although the type A in me wants to say he should just do it himself, I’ve learned to let go a little and enjoy laying with him until he falls asleep since he’ll be starting kindergarten next year (sometimes I even grab a little nap with him.) Good luck!!
Do you think maybe it’s the crib? If she naps on a cot at school maybe you could ask her if she got a cot at home would she nap? Make her a part of the solution. Or just tell her she needs to have quiet time in her room. Don’t mention sleep and don’t require her to get in her crib. But insist she has to stay in her room and be quiet for x amount of time. Get her some floor pillow and some books and she’ll probably fall asleep.
Give her a big kid bed 🙂 Our son of three years old started napping like the old days when we switched. Also instead of noon he now goes to bed at 1 o clock.
And we changed his routine to just going upstairs right away (instead of cleaning up toys first) reading 1 book and leaving right after one big kiss.
Goodluck!
First of all, I love watching your family on instagram and seeing the videos of Molly and Riley every day! Just a thought I had when I saw you talking about needing to drive her around and have her fall asleep in the car, but have you thought about transitioning her into a bed? That way you can make taking a nap in her new bed something she’ll get excited about because she can go sleep in her big girl bed.
Kid sleep is so hard! Our 3 year old is going through something too and we are doing the same before nap screams and struggles! I used to put him down at 130-200pm and now if I don’t get him down before 1pm it isn’t happening! If he is too tired there is no nap! If he nap too late bedtime is rough! My suggestion is try putting her down earlier. Maybe she isn’t getting a long enough wake window between nap and bedtime? Good luck momma!
Ali! I’m on your blog today looking for advice myself! My little girl was 3 in August and man were having a heck of a time too with naps. If we forego the nap she is ready for one at 4 or 5 too and then I’m like NO WAY! She’ll never sleep at night! What I picked up here is maybe moving her to a jig girl bed as she is still in her crib as well and I’m going to do it… because, she’s been asking for one for a few weeks now. Must be a sign! We got this!
Maybe time for a big girl bed. You could get her really excited about it by letting her pick out the bed, or the bedding? We put my daughter in a big girl bed when she was a little over 2.5 and she LOVED picking out bedding and watching us assemble it. I kinda want to say Molly might be a little grown out of the crib, maybe she feels confined? I would try something new and if it still doesn’t work then maybe time to drop the nap. Good luck!
Hello! I have an almost 4 yr old daughter and a son that just turned 2. My daughter does not like to take naps either and sometimes she wakes her brother up. It drives me crazy. I make her quietly play in her room and I play music in the hallway or have some sort of story playing for both of them. That way if my daughter is whining or throwing a fit, he cannot hear. Sometimes she just ends up playing and sometimes she plays and then falls asleep. I don’t know if this is helpful but I know how difficult it is to have a cranky child. I hope that you find something that works.
Hi! It seems like she’s just transitioning. My daughter recently went through this, and she’s actually younger than Molly! My kid will be 3 next month. But it was the same thing. Fighting, screaming about taking a nap. For MONTHS I kept a log of when I put her down/if she would nap etc and it was no nap after no nap for months and months. I started driving her around and she would fall sleep in the car for 45mins/an hour. Then she stopped doing that too. Sometimes they’re just ready to be done with the nap. I wanted my daughter to keep napping SO MUCH and I thought it was crucial for her development but some things can’t be forced. And yes, she was definitely crankier during this transition (which we are just now seeing the end of after months). But that’s just how it goes sometimes. Also- gifted children tend to drop their naps earlier than the standard curve. Just putting that out there.
I agree with you. It’s that transition from needing a nap to no longer needing a nap and you have to go through some fussy nights and crankiness, or even kids trying to fall asleep during dinner, to make that transition, None of my kids napped much past 21/2, but also all were in beds before 3. And your right. If they’re done, they’re done. You can’t force a child to nap. Dropping the nap is just another part of growing up.
Hi Allie!
Totally agree on the big girl bed as
Does everyone so far. Time to give Molly a little control on making the new bed a reward and pleasant experience – love the idea of the awake clocks also. She is so advanced with language development and such that you can communicate what is expected (rest or sleep) but that this new bed and big girl privilege is a reward for her as she is older… but that afternoon rest is required for her ( and you!)
You GOT this – stay strong and remember you are def smarter – honestly!!!
We actually turned my daughters bed into the “toddler bed” because she would just scream in her crib. It was like she hated that fact that she knew she couldn’t get out of it. I was worried about doing it because I thought she would just get out of the bed and play or whatever, but it’s acrually the total opposite. We do the same routine every time. She eats her lunch, she goes in the bed and I put her blanket on her and the. She has this little bunny stuffed animal that she snuggles. She tells me “night night” and then she’s out within minutes. I know some people are totally against it, but she also has a small tv in her room and I play a movie for her but turn the volume really low and I think that helps her fall asleep also. Kids are hard sometimes lol. I hope you find something that works for you! If your opposed to a tv, maybe even some soft lullaby kids songs or radio would help also. Goodluck😁
Have you thought about moving her to a big girl bed? Let her help you pick the new furniture and sheets and make it a huge deal that she sleeps in there like a big girl? It doesn’t always work, but if she could just have her rests in her room for an hour she’ll probably be more likely to fall asleep where she’s not distracted by people walking around or anything. Basically I’m saying she can read for an hour or so everyday, but in her new big girl bed.
I went through this when I was a nanny. The last thing we tried was deciding on getting him a big boy bed. That was the game changer! He took naps like a champ again for another year.
It sounds like she may still need a short nap if she is cranky by 4pm without one. We have twins with special needs and have seen it all when it comes to sleep. It is SO hard when they struggle. I know you guys are always so busy and doing fun stuff, which is awesome.. We have to be really intentional about our twins not getting too overstimulated that first half of the day. Her routine at school is predictable and probably pretty low-key compared to busy family days. That be why she is napping so easily there. Our twins are 4 now and don’t always need a nap anymore. When they do nap, waking them up after an hour helps the rest of our day go smoothly. It also doesn’t sabotage bedtime. Good luck with whatever you end up trying. ❤️
Maybe time for big girl bed! That made a big difference with our daughter & May explain why she naps at school and not home.
We also started having trouble with our daughter falling asleep at night after days she napped, but then after 2 or 3 days in a row of no nap she was a nightmare.
So we started doing every other day naps. Not sure what her school schedule is like or if that is happening, but that is what we found worked for us.
We’re going through the same thing with our 3 year old – he hasn’t had regular naps in months and the days he doesn’t nap he gets so wound up it drives us crazy! Yesterday he was a stinker from the second he woke up and at around noon we laid him down in bed with us for a family nap time and amazingly he fell asleep. He was an angel for the rest of the day! Some days he might pass out in front of the TV he’s so tired, others he’ll pass out in the car like Molly. And of course when he does nap, it takes some extra time for him to fall asleep at night 🙄 So I don’t really have a solution but we’re going through it too, you’re not alone!
Big girl bed for sure! She probably sleeps in a cot at school and not a crib. Also, it may help to implement a similar nighttime routine like read a book and some snuggles. Good luck!!
Hi! Molly and my daughter Lucy are the same age (even born in the same month), and she has also been fighting naps more lately. Here a a few things that worked….have you thought about about moving Molly to a toddler bed instead of a crib? That might give her a big of “freedom”. We tell Lucy that she needs to have quiet time in her room, and we allow her to bring some books with her. Sometimes, she leaves her bed and we find her sitting in her chair with books. Other times, she will read and sing, and eventually fall asleep. Some days she naps, and some days she does not. The other thing we have found is that we cannot put her to sleep too early. If we put in her bed before 1pm, then she will most definitely not nap. Also, on the days when her morning is busier (school or gymnastics or something outside the house) she is more likely to nap than mornings where she is at home. It seems that she needs a nap more like 3-4 days per week. Good luck! The struggle is real with these girls! My 6 year old could nap every day still if it was appropriate!
I agree with others. Maybe it is time for a big girl bed. She may want to nap in it, and even if she doesn’t she may enjoy “quiet time” more because she doesn’t feel trapped. Make sure her room is safe, and she needs to stay in her room. She may nap some days and not others. I think you’re doing a great job, trial and error is how it works for most of us! But also, she may just be finished with naps… and the transition from nap to no nap always takes a while to adjust… they are always so tired by late afternoon/dinner. I’m a mom to 3, and each has been different in how they nap.
Yep, all three of my kids were done with naps by age 3, and you’re right, that transition from needing a nap to not needing a nap can be a rough stage! You just have to deal with it and work through it as best you can. I do think she’s just done with naps, which is not unusual for age 3+.
When my daughter wouldn’t nap, I told her we all were taking naps in our own bed. Just a short nap. I told her I would set the timer and when it went off I would come get her. I told her she had to rest and close her eyes, even if she didn’t fall asleep. I told her we all had to take a break to rest.
You should take the vitamin “oil of oregano” by solgar. Gel caps. It prevents the cold.
If she’s 3 I think she should be in a big girl bed ,we transitioned our both kids at 1 and they still nap to his day for about an hour ish and heir 4 & 2! She may feel trapped during nap time in a crib..
My thoughts as a veteran mom of three kidlets two who are disabled and have profound sleep issues. 1. Molly needs to get out of that crib. I would assume she’s not napping in a crib at school.
2. Consistency is key. Nap or quiet time should be at the same time every day. The alarm goes off, she goes to her room. She can sleep or read. You talk about that nightlight thing all the time. Set it for when you want it to go green and be done with it. No more monitor watching.
3. She and Riley are miles apart in their developmental development as this age. She shouldn’t be napping when he is.
4. Who doesn’t get tired at 4pm? Adults included? Have an activity, make dinner, do something fun. Make that your fun hour instead of riling everyone up right before bed.
5. Lastly stop telling everyone how “awful” (your words) Molly is being when is tired. If you’re yelling right along with her as you indicated in your blog, why just call her out? And lately I doubt she’s just tired. You have mentioned a lot lately that your kids have been sick. If that’s the case, let them rest. Have some down time. Everyone needs it.
I have actually thought the same thing regarding activity before bed. Dance parties are great but maybe not in evening when winding down is in order. BTW, I am a former teacher with Early Childhood specialization and a Pre School Director.
Hi! I don’t have much experience on the topic, but I do think that it is important that she continue her naps since she is still so young. I think that if she were to be sleeping in a toddler bed, or in her crib without the side on it, she may feel less pressured and therefore not fight it as much. If she continues to fight it, take away something that she often gravitates towards playing with, and tell her that she can have it back if she takes a rest/nap (and make sure she knows how long she has to nap/rest for).
I’ve seen clocks that when it reaches a programmed time (That you set), a light will turn that indicates the child may get up. She may also find something like that more fun and helpful during her nap and rest time.
When I was younger, when I didn’t want to nap, my parents would tell me to rest for a particular amount of time (and give me a clock so I could keep track), and I would more often than not just end up falling asleep. On days where I wouldn’t sleep, they’d put a movie or tv show on a portable DVD player in my bed and I could watch that. So that way I was happy, but also getting some rest.
That’s a lot, I know! I hope some of this helps (I have a relative that uses the light up clocks and it works miracles!). I’d love to hear if any of this ends up working for you!
Best of luck! Xo
Ugh. Same thing over here with our 3 year old. We did just switch her to a twin bed and she does seem to sleep better in it since it’s more comfortable, more room for all the stuffed animals she insists sleep w her, too! But then yesterday she had a no nap day and yes from 3-5 she was very cranky. I’m going to keep fighting for her nap though because she really needs the rest! My daughter also almost always naps at school. My thought was always bc its routine and all the other kids are napping too. Hang in there, year 3 has been sort of an uphill battle so far!
Hang in there mama.. it’s normal! Maybe it’s time for a big girl bed and changing a few things up. I think we are always afraid of giving them that freedom, but it’s retraining them in the beginning to have quiet time or rest time and they can’t come out until the light is green. But she’s 3 now and giving her a little bit of control/freedom may help her and it may excite her to have a big girl bed. Make a big deal out of it and how exciting it it is, etc etc. hang in there!!
Hi Ali! My granddaughter is just about Molly’s age. She turned 3 in September. The past two weeks she has started skipping naps. Not everyday but probably 2-3 times per week. As a grandmother, I can tell you that this is how the elimination of naps begin. They don’t just stop completely. So this sounds like where Molly and my granddaughter Hannah are both at. One thing we do is put her in for a nap everyday, with the realization that it will either be a nap or just quiet time laying in her bed. That brings me to a suggestion. Hannah transitioned to a toddler bed at 2 years old, which was really just her crib that turned into a toddler bed. She then moved into a big girl’s regular size single bed about 6 months later. She loves her bed. It makes her feel like a big girl and takes away that trapped feeling. I’m wondering if you transitioned Molly into either a toddler bed or even a single bed, if she may be more willing to lay down and even just have some quiet time in her bed with her baby doll, or favorite stuffed animal, or even a special book. Set the timer for one hour and let her know when it goes off she is allowed to be “awake.” Or maybe use a light like you do with Riley. Also, when Hannah does not take her 1.5 hour nap, she goes to bed 1.5 hours earlier to compensate. That helps a lot with not having that total meltdown towards the evening hours. I wish you lots of luck. The fact that she is taking a nap in school is amazing. But on those days when she doesn’t nap, she probably needs at least a bedtime that is a full hour or so earlier. ❤️
I’ve totally been in this same dilemma as you are! Consistency is key! Regardless of if my son naps or not, he goes into his room for “quiet time” so that I can get a break too. This usually turns into him playing quietly with a few toys or reading a few books and then he eventually falls asleep. Some days he doesn’t end up falling asleep and that’s okay too bc my husband and I just put him to bed early.
We’ve done this for awhile now and my daughter who is in first grade still has quiet time on the weekends! Good luck!
Since Molly’s getting overtired and cranky at times I don’t think dropping her nap would be beneficial for any of you. Since she’s napping at school she’s capable at napping at home too. Have you considered transitioning her to a toddler bed? Sounds scary I know as they can get out whenever but it was our saving grace! We switched to a toddler bed due to our 2 yr old refusing to nap in her crib, nights were fine but for the life of me I could not get her to nap in her crib and I tried everything! As soon as we switched her to a “big girl” bed she started napping. I only wished we made the switch sooner! The first day she slept 2 hrs which was a shocker for me. Everyday is different but she usually naps for at least 1 hr which is great compared to no naps at all. You might want to make the switch! Tip: I’d stop putting her in the car for naps b/c she’s probably used to that now so try and ease her out of that habit. Good luck and I hope you find something that works for your family
My 4 year old stopped napping at age 3. Is Molly almost 3 or 4? Something about when they hit 3 they just stop napping. My daughter like yours would only nap at school just not at home. We would drive her around just like you till she finally slept. Some days we just let her be and she’s asleep by 7pm and wakes up 7am which is great for us but you can just see the bags under her eyes & know she’s tired and should nap so I’m those days we ensure she’s not watching any TV, or any technology in general before her nap time & we go for a run outside or let them to buck wild at the park or we read them books to wear them out and some days if we’re lucky she will even ask us to put her down for a nap but it is very rare. They stop napping in Kindergarten anyway so I uhh j you just need to also prep for her not napping anymore which is unfortunate for us parents lol but at least your little one naps still. Try also using chamomile scents or lavender scents in her room to get her sleepy too. There’s not really a trick honestly just at her age their mind is super active which doesn’t allow them to nap
By this age they’re kind of done w naps, I know it sucks I remember this with my girls they didn’t want to nap anymore unless they were wiped out ☹️ Best of luck
My oldest dropped naps by 2 1/2 and my youngest by 18 months. 4 o clock was definitely the time where it got rough! That became our neighborhood walk time. Fresh air and stroller if completely exhausted. Early dinner and an even earlier bedtime. Bedtime for a while was around 630. Kids will do things at school that they won’t do at home since all the other kids are doing it! 🙂 My girls do it daily with food that is prepared at school. They’ll eat things there that they’ll never eat at home. For a while, bed may not be as peaceful as it used to be but they will adjust. Hang in there!
I would say if she’s still throwing tantrums and fussy in the afternoon, then she still needs a nap! I’m going through similar times with my almost 4 year old. She hates to nap at home but she definitely needs it. She goes to Mother’s Day Out 3 days a week and has no problems napping there. When she’s at home, I try to stick to the same sleep schedule as school and I’m firm with it. Napping is an absolute necessity. My daughter is no longer in her crib so I usually sit with her for a few minutes and then she falls asleep on her own. I think the important thing is to stay as close to her school schedule, be firm and do not let her go too long before napping because then you’re fighting the overtired game. It’s a game you’ll never win!!
Hi Ali!
I live in Norway and don’t know how the schoolsystem in the US works, but I do have two kids and my youngest is only a few months older than Molly.
With both girls we started reducing the naptime when bedtime became an issue. I would spend up to 1 1/2 hours to put my youngest to bed. She would nap for 60-90 minutes at 2 years old, but about 10 months ago we reduced it to 60 min as max. Then after 2-3 months we reduced it to 30-45 mins, and right after her third birthday we stopped the naps (April/May this year). It will be a few weeks of cranky kid to start with (and toss in the troubling threes of wanting to test limits and indepence), but our girl doesn’t need more sleep now. She will fall asleep faster on Mondays and Tuesdays, but our 6 year old followed the same pattern and have been doing just fine with this kind of adjustment.
My advice: try cutting down her naptime in school for a week or two, to see if just 30 mins makes a change. Ask her teachers for advice. If it takes time for her to fall asleep at school it’s a sign that she might be ready to stop the naps.
And eventually she will not have the same four o’clock-blues. But it is an exhausting period. Best of luci to you all! 🙂
With love from the freezing cold in Norway 😉
Honestly it sounds to me like she no longer associates naps with her crib because she doesn’t nap in a crib at school. She also sounds like she still desperately needs some down time during the day. Based on your stories she seems to go to bed really early so I don’t think an earlier bed time will help, but maybe instead a different location for downtime? Maybe a mat that she can lay on like she does in school? In an area that’s not completely dark like school? She might now only use her crib for bed but that doesn’t mean she isn’t still tired during the day. And the fact that she naps in school and the car I believe attests to that. Best of luck! I hope something will help 🙂
👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
One time I was a little shocked at what time she went to bed but then I remembered the time difference. She is three hours earlier than me
Hi Ali!
Have you thought about changing her nap time to later in the day? She may not be ready for her nap at 12 and fights it because she’s not ready yet.
My son is 3 and over the last year, we have kept moving his nap time back in the day. The fight at dinner time is terrible and I feel your pain! Maybe push it to 1 or 2 pm for an hour and would help the afternoon/dinner time tantrums. For example, my son gets up between 7-730 am and I usually plan nap around 1, 5-6 hours after he gets up. Before, I would still put him down around 11 or 12 and he would fight constantly until I pushed it back a few hours and he is napping again!
If she’s not napping then maybe move up her bedtime? My friend has 2 twin boys age 3 and they have given up their nap but moved up bedtime to 7pm.
Just some thoughts! Hope it all goes well and love following you!!
Quick question to consider….is she napping in a crib at school? Or toddler mat/cot etc? She may refuse the nap at home because she doesn’t have her autonomy in the crib like she does at school (assuming no crib at school). Also, with my newly 3 year old, we have instilled quiet time. She may read, play with dolls, draw, whenever she wants. We use the nest to switch her color from orange to green when she is allowed to come back downstairs. We give her the freedom to choose play, draw, read or take naps. And every time, she will eventually settle into her bed and nap. But she chooses when that happens. I always tell her “when you’re finished playing and a little bit sleepy, you can go into your cozy bed and close your eyes”. She plays for 15 min, naps for hour – hour and half. Now, This only works because we have her in a big girl bed that she can get in and out of on her own. I’m a big believer in empowering your children to make choices for themselves. They often choose wisely. And when they make mistakes, we discuss what their choices were, what choice they made and the outcome. They will remember for the next time. So maybe switching her to big girl bed and instilling quiet time will help. And even if she doesn’t nap, you still get quiet time while she uses her imagination solo in her room. Hope some of this helps for Molly!
As others mentioned, have you tried moving her to a big girl bed? We moved my daughter when she was around 2.5, and she does SO much better now. She will have a “rest” sometimes without sleeping, but most of the time we will put her in her bed with a bunch of books, she reads to herself for about 10-20 minutes, and then puts herself down for a nap. We found this is a lot more manageable in a big kid bed than in a crib. Good luck!!
Couple things could be going on here. Could be the bed at school and crib at Home issue that others are suggesting. She may feel like she has less control when being put into a crib in the middle of the day. Also, at school, if all the other kids are napping, she may not feel like she is missing out, because it’s not like all of the other kids are playing while she has to sleep. Where as at home, she may feel like she is missing out since you and/or Kevin are there and are awake. She may also feel more comfortable opposing it with her parents than she does for her teachers and with her peers around. I don’t know her or you, but I definitely don’t believe that putting your foot down about what she needs or her behaviour is being a “jerk”. You’re the parent and kids need to know that they are not in charge. They need guidance and they need to be able to antipate the consequences of their actions. I’d say if she doesn’t want to nap at home then quiet time is a good option. But it shouldn’t require you to entertain her during this time. It should be family quiet time so that she understands that she isn’t missing out on activities. Everyone needs a rest or you need to get adult things done. If she doesn’t want to sleep then there has to be consequences to her misbehaving later in the evening, such as not being part of the dance party or no play time before bed (taking away something she enjoys, so that next time she is misbehaving you can remind her if it continues she will lose x,y,and z). If she is going to be tired she will have to learn how to control her emotions and her behaviour eventually. It won’t happen overnight but with consistent and expected consequences it may help her either decide to rest or help her behave better when she is tired.
She might be ready for a big girl bed! Especially if she’s napping at school she may like the independence she has there not being in a crib! I know it’s scary to drop the crib especially when they are comfortable in it still but it’s worth a shot!! 🙂
I don’t think she’s fighting the sleep, she’s fighting the crib. She’s old enough to transition to a big girl bed. She’s more likely to sit and have quiet time if she’s not stuck behind bars- days will be hit or miss on if she just enjoys quiet time or she actually falls asleep.
I agree on the big kid bed. My daughter moved to a big bed at 2 because she had a brother coming. She is 4.5 and still naps most days! She is hit or miss for napping at daycare now but on the weekends we put both kids (4.5 and 2) down for nap and she naps about an hour. My son got moved to a big kid bed before 2 because he was climbing out of his crib. The first 6-8 weeks in a big kid bed were hard (waking up 2-3 times a night, climbing out of the bed, etc) but we stayed strong, didn’t let him sleep with us, took him back to his room and said it was night time and he needed to sleep and we’d always come get him in the morning. We also bought a thing on Amazon called a door monkey that keeps the door open a crack but keeps the kids in the room and safe from wandering the house at night. We couldn’t find a door knob cover that worked for us, so this was a better solution. Again, the first few nights, my son was mad that he couldn’t get out of the room, but now he knows it is there to keep him safe and we always come back in the morning. Molly is a smart kid. Maybe tell her that she is big enough for a big bed but she has to rest in it every day to grow big and strong. Sometimes when we explain things to our kids, they actually understand our reason for things. Good luck!
Letting him wear my comfy Bluetooth headphones to listen to a kids podcast. He will fall asleep on his own while I get the baby down. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll lay down with him until he falls asleep.😬🤷🏻♀️ Without a nap, he is a mess by dinner.
Hey, first off your doing great!!! I would suggest maybe transition her until a big girl bed because I am not sure what she sleeps in at school but if it’s a cot or something she may like that. Then when she’s home she’s like I am big girl I want a big girl bed. Maybe just try it!
I see a lot of people recommending a big girl bed. Mine was four before she tried to get out of hers, but if you’re not comfortable with switching her over then what about making a little cozy area in her room where she can rest in the afternoons. A mat or blankets, she can cuddle with her stuffed animals and have a few books. When mine started dropping naps we would do the quiet time with her and sometimes she would sleep, sometimes not, but she knew she had to stay in her room. I know you guys have the hatchbaby rest (we have it too) but do you use it during nap time? Maybe try setting it for and hour or 90 minutes so she knows when she can come out of her room. Otherwise, every child is different and you will know what’s best for Molly. I know you said she hasn’t been feeling well a lot lately and that may be part of the issue too, and it’s hard because you know they need that rest to stay healthy.
And I was reading through the comments, there was one pretty nasty one in there, don’t let that get to you! I’m glad you have a place you can come vent to. All mom’s needs that. And honestly, it’s nice to see on Instagram that life for a lot of people isn’t as perfect as they always show. We’re here to listen!
Big girl bed! Our daughter who is Molly’s she was never a good sleeper but she became a good sleeper when she got her big girl bed!
Yes, you need to not tell her it’s time. Put riley to sleep first and then just pick her up and put her in the crib and walk away. Almost like sleep training all over again. If she has gotten better even alittle bit after a few days. Tell her you will take her to the park if she sleeps. And sleeps, not just laying there. I have kids the same age as you. A couple months off.
At some point the “I’m human” line doesn’t cut it anymore. Do you know how many times you have said that you have lost it with Molly? You do it AT LEAST 2-3 times a month. She’s 3; she’s still learning how to control her behavior. You’re an adult; you’re the one modeling how to behave. If she sees you screaming, then guess what? She’s gonna scream right back.
The main reason that Molly is struggling with naps is because SHE IS TOO OLD FOR A CRIB. Do you ever wonder why she naps at school and not at home? She’s not in a crib at school.
You’re making a big deal out of something that has an obvious answer.
Do you or have you ever had kids? I have a 3 year old, and she will push and push and push a boundary that can make any sane person question their sanity. I’m sure yelling is not Ali’s first response. At the end of the day, Molly is loved and clearly Ali has her best interests at heart. Of course Ali makes mistakes sometimes, but Molly will be fine. Judgmental comments like this are not helpful.
As a public figure, Ali puts herself out there for criticism and judgement; not my fault if she can’t handle what people have to say 🤷♀️
Well said Ciara. Ali sounds like the 3 year old in this post and if she can’t handle the criticsm, well that’s her problem!
The original poster gave a valid observation based on everything Ali puts out there. It is not judgmental. Children watch what we do and how we behave. Little ones don’t know got to self calm yet. Moms can show them how to do that. Why can parents who are adults and have the capability of managing emotions be excused and littles are not?
I tend to agree with you. I think she is giving Molly too many choices. If you tell your child its rest time or quiet time that is it. You don’t take them out riding in the car. They are letting Molly make her own decisions and she is too young for that
Exactly! The lack of consistency is confusing her, so she doesn’t know what is expected of her!
I agree with you. And Molly is smart enough to know someone is coming to get her and take her out in the car. So she will scream.
This sounds EXACTLY like my oldest who is now 4. Before she turned 3 she started fighting her nap and it was a huge battle. We decided then to drop them. Yes she was more cranky in the evening but we moved her bedtime up a whole hour. IT WILL BE an adjustment because it’s changing but after a week or so it was great. We got time with her younger brother in the evening who did nap and she wasn’t exhausted. Molly seems VERY on the ball like my daughter. I think her brain is telling you she may not need it. Even if she’s napping at school, it’s probably from being so tired and having fun with the kids. If she’s fighting it that hard at home she’s probably not too tired. Trying switching her bedtime to earlier and she may sleep in some too. My daughter slept about 8-10 hours a night while napping but since she dropped it she sleeps 12 hrs at night at least and has the last year.
I agree, I think it’s time to transition her to a bed. Three year olds are generally ready and if she is napping at school (probably on a mat?) then she is ready at home too. Just my two cents from raising my three kids who were always good sleepers. Also, a good transition at the beginning is to lay down with her in her big girl bed. That worked for one of my daughters because it calmed her as she got used to the change. Then after a week or two she was happy to be alone.
I couldn’t find your post awhile ago on the animal print dress you wore from Nordstrom. I ordered it and LOVE it! And it is true to size. I have gotten SO many compliments on it. Thanks for sharing.
JoAnne
I would try to mimic her school schedule before nap as much as possible. Have you also considered moving her to a big girl bed? My 4 yo daughter before moving to her big girl bed would fight naps and bedtime. Once we moved her to the bigger bed(even just the toddler bed) made a huge difference.
Follow getmooresleep on Instagram, her name is Maggie Moore and she is a sleep goddess!! Not some one who writes books or gives advice and then you find out they don’t have children!!! Good luck and just know all is mommas are cheering you on!!
Hi Ali! I have been through this with my son and we started calling it quiet time and sometimes he wouldn’t want to. But at first, we gave him some books to read in bed and he would just fall asleep reading. Also, maybe let her pick out a new bed and new bedding for it may help her feel like a big girl and make her want to be in her bed! Currently, our 4 year old only naps now if he falls asleep in the car or if he is just so tired that he falls asleep on the couch reading. Trial and error! But I think at this age, they don’t want to miss anything and want to use every opportunity to play! So its hard to explain to them they need to take a nap so they can actually play more!
Hi Ali! I would transition her to a toddler bed (lower her crib and take the railing off) and give her the option to nap or have quiet time in there for a certain amount of time. If she had the autonomy to lay in her bed or read a book etc. she will be less likely to protest. Also I would get an “okay to wake” clock and put it in her room during this time – when the light is blue that means you need to stay quiet unless it is an emergency, when it is green it is okay to come out/ call for mom. It seems like this is a control thing – giving her more control will probably help!
Although I am not a parent, I was a Child Development major and have worked with children for awhile. From the other comments I have read, I agree with a lot of others. I think it’s time that you transition her or consider transitioning her to a big girl bed. I think it’s about the right time and far to do so. She may feel more comfortable sleeping in a bigger bed and a place where she will have more space. I’m not sure what her school bed/mat/cot situation is like, but if she is used to that space at school, then maybe she needs that bed space at home too. Just a thought. So I would highly recommend transitioning her to a bigger bed.
Try the book “ healthy sleep habits, happy child” we read the baby version and it saved us with #3. I’ve read a ton of comments about big girl beds.. I think she is way to young for that, especially if she isn’t crawling out or complaining about it at night. You might try putting her to bed earlier now. She still needs sleep and is cranky, she will get it that way
I think she is too old for a crib and would maybe enjoy a big girl bed!! Get her to help pick out the bed etc.. Maybe she will want to sleep in a bed instead of a crib she may just feel trapped!!
Hi Ali!
I’m a huge fan of yours and love your little family and really admire you and Kevin as parents.You all are doing such an amazing job.
I’m not a parent (yet) but I am a final year Education student (soon to be graduate) specialising in Early Childhood Development and Foundation Phase Education.We have to extensively study children at their stages from birth to 9 years old and their possible outcomes in all situations so I feel like I have a small idea what this might be and it’s linked to a things that you’ve mentioned.
The first thought that comes to mind is that Molly may need to transition to a Big Girl Bed.
Also a while ago you mentioned her “birthday parties” and how Riley wasn’t invited.Riley is fast becoming a more active and independent member of the family so it could also be a little insecurity caused by sibling rivalry.That’s 100% natural considering that Riley is his own little person now and fast approaching being bigger than Molly.
That may be a little confusing for her to understand visually because she knows that she’s the big sister and he’s her baby brother but now he’s getting to be as big as her and she may still see him as just being a baby.The more independent he’s getting,the more it could be confusing her.Getting her the big girl bed may help her see that she’s also growing up and is her own independent little person as well.
It’s also highly possible that Molly refuses to nap at home because she’s afraid of losing out on her time to be “the only child”.That would explain why she can sleep at school and in the car but not at home because in those places she’s not in an environment to be doing much else other than sleeping but at home, she’d have attention just for herself or she could be playing uninterrupted and doing stuff on her own that she wouldn’t necessarily be able to do alone if Riley was awake, atleast in her mind.
Please don’t feel like I’m saying Molly isn’t getting enough attention OR alone play time,that’s not what I mean at all.From my 4 years of studying and years and years of practice with cousins,nieces and nephews-it’s almost always been the issue of them not wanting to miss out on their parents doing something fun without them or with their sibling.It’s the fear of missing out but Toddler Edition.
Perhaps try explaining to Molly that everyone is going to nap at her nap time or that you need some quiet time if she isn’t going to nap.Have her go to her crib and let her know that you’ll be napping too and you’ll wake up and come get her when it’s time.
The worst thing you could do is engage in the negotiation battle.As you said, it’s exhausting physically, mentally and emotionally and upsetting for all of you and it especially leads to Molly getting upset and hence you getting upset with yourself for being human.Your pre-nap ritual of letting Molly know she has 15 minutes before a nap is great but make it seem like it’s a negotiation for the first few days.”Molly you can start naptime now or you can nap in 15 minutes.You choose-Now or later.” Either way the outcome is that she has to nap but she’ll feel like it’s her choice and on her time.
If she resists,simply remind her that she chose this option so now we have to do it. Also remove the option for her to be doing something else during that time like reading etc.That’s a treat anyone would willingly give up sleep for.It may seem a bit harsh but it’s not a punishment,it’s simply removing the distractions.
Set her in her crib,remind her it’s only so many minutes until you’re coming to get her,reassure her of what you’re going to be doing ie:nothing without her and Riley because he’s also napping and you’re going to have yourself some quiet time and leave her room.If she screams and calls for you guys when fighting the sleep,as much as it hurts,don’t go to her because you’re not doing this for yourself,you’re doing this for her.She will eventually tire herself out and go to sleep and will probably only resist sleep for the first day or two and that’s enough time to reset her internal clock and have her back on the napping schedule.
I hope this helps and I wish you and your family love,light, happiness and good health!
I feel like there is some really great advice here! Piggybacking off of this – one of the things I read in a toddler behavior book that has helped me immensely is dropping the use of the word “Okay” at the end of every sentence (for example, “naptime is in 15 minutes, okay.”) The book went on to explain that this wording makes it seem like naptime is a question and/or up for negotiation. Once I became more aware of the words I was using when speaking to my toddler, I was so surprised at how many times I was saying “okay” at the end. And that’s just one example, but the point is, how we phrase things to our toddlers is so so so important! It must be communicated as if there is no other option. Oh, and Ali, if you read this, I have yelled at my toddler so loud that once I genuinely became concerned my neighbors might have heard me. We have all been there, and we have to give ourselves some grace and let go of the guilt. We are not perfect! But we love our kids and they will be just fine!
I agree with you.
The words we use with kids are equally as important as the manner in which we say them.
I’m wondering if you could somehow recreate the school nap environment at home? Are they on a mat on the floor? Is there soft music ? Does the teacher rub her back til she gets sleepy? I’d try that! Maybe get her a mat or put her crib on the floor and stay with her til she falls asleep.
Try Zarbees Melatonin chews (with your ped’s approval, of course) Start a naptime routine (has to be around same time as her daycare naptime) give the chew 30 mins before you want her to sleep, lower the lights, read her a book….she should fall asleep if she’s tired.
By now, the consistent comment is that it’s time for a bigger bed. Aside from making it special, get a cute or cozy blanket (or a sleep shirt) that she uses just for nap time. That makes naptime special.
Be consistent. Start without books because Molly is so into books that I doubt she’d sleep if she had them in her bed or room. Be strong. Another friend had trouble with her daughter napping but she told her that is what her daughter was expected to do and didn’t bargain with her. Her daughter accepted it.
To start the nap, you can set a timer and let the timer be the one to tell her when to nap-not you. Its amazing how much better they accept it from an inanimate object vs a parent.
Also, noon is pretty early for a nap. You might have to put her (and Riley?) down a little later.
Good luck. Molly is a darling little girl who doesn’t want to miss out on anything but you know best. Children need sleep.
Been there! You need to just make a hard rule that she has to stay in bed/crib for 1 hour. She can read, nap, just tell her she has to be quiet. Eventually she will relax ..know what is expected of her & she will nap some days. Main rule is QUIET. She is old enough to handle 1 hour by herself. Good Luck
I second all the posts about a big girl bed. Most kids her age are no longer in a crib. We always went straight from the crib to a regular bed, for me, I felt that the toddler size bed was a waste. We also let the kiddos pick out their new bedding, and help set it up. It was a big deal and we took pictures and made it that way! My oldest moved to a regular bed on her second birthday. Also, many children Mollys age no longer need a nap, and some preschools don’t do them for age 3. It could be, too, that she naps at school because ‘all the other kids do’, (kind of like how your kids will eat certain things only when they are with other kids who eat them). We did have quiet time, though, where they had to sit and read or do quiet activities like puzzles and or workbooks. I honestly do think she is too old for a crib, though. I would start there.
Hi Ali! My son had similar issues. He would nap no problem at school, but never at home. What worked for him was actually getting him a toddler bed! He got to pick out all the bedding that he wanted, and he was along to watch us set up his nee bed. We tried to make it really exciting and engaging, so he would hopefully be willing to try it. It worked wonders! After about a week of adjustments, he was napping every day, like clockwork. And bedtime became so much smoother as well. Also, maybe try something like a light. Amazon has one where if the light is red, to stay in the room, and when it’s green, it’s time to get up. I didn’t try that one, but it’s just another idea. I hope this helps and you guys all can get some rest!!
I also hated naps as a child, even got in trouble at school for chatting and not napping! My mom let go into my room while my younger brothers napped and have ‘quiet playtime’ where I would read books in my bed or play with my Barbies. It was usually just an hour. It was just quiet alone time and sometime I would fall asleep reading or end up crawling into bed on my own. Maybe adding a little daybed or something for naps that doesn’t represent a long sleep like the crib would help. I’m not sure how she would do with the quiet playtime idea but it was the only thing that worked for me. Maybe using your light system like you did with Riley to get him to sleep longer to tell her when it’s ok to get up might help too.
Hi Ali! I love following you on social media, you’re so real and I truly appreciate that! All I can do is share my own experience with my 22 month old son. My little guy has been sleep trained since 4 Months old, starting in June he went through this regression we couldn’t figure out! He would need to be held at night or cry through his nap. The pst few weeks he’s been boycotting naps and we’ve been at our wits end! This weekend we figured we had nothing to lose so we converted to the toddler bed. Guess what?! He has been sleeping PERFECTLY ever since!!! He loves being a big boy and being able to climb in and out. So far he has not abused it at all! Happy to talk through it with you!
A very similar thing happened to my oldest when he was 3. I got so tired of fighting with him everyday to take a nap. My advice has a few parts. First I would switch to a big girl bed. Second, my son also LOVED to read (still does).. We moved him out of the crib to eliminate the “trapped” feeling. Then nap time became “reading time”, or “snuggle with stuffed animal time” etc. This was different depending on the day and I gave him a little freedom in choosing what he wanted to do. It just had to be on his bed and it had to be quiet, and had to be for an hour. Sometimes he did take a little nap, most times he didn’t. If he didn’t sleep, bedtime was just a little bit earlier to make up for that missed nap. Those wake up lights are great for this as well. He knew he couldn’t get out of bed until the light was green. I’m pretty sure somedays he just fell asleep watching the light and waiting for it to turn green.
I mention this next part because my son loved books like Molly. He started reading at an early age and I didn’t realize it until he got to kindergarten how academically ahead he was compared to his peers. I learned some of his frustrations and outbursts would come on days where his brain wasn’t “tired”. We still struggle with this to be honest, and he is 9. I don’t know what non-school days look like in your home, but maybe supplementing a few more activities where she has to work her brain would help as well. With my son, having him work his brain during the day actually helps him turn his brain off when it’s time to sleep. Sorry for the long response!! But Molly just reminds me so much of my oldest! Have a wonderful day!
My daughter is 4 and we still have rest time most days, unless we are out and about, she rests. She doesn’t fall asleep anymore – but I have an “ok to wake” clock and she is good about reading in her bed (crib converted to toddler bed) she gets up if she has to go to the bathroom and then goes back to her room. She is chatty and talks to herself or reads etc. The biggest thing is being consistent and not flip flopping, we have done this routine since she was a baby so she is used to it. Before rest time sometimes I set a timer and say when the timer goes off it’s time to go upstairs. We always read one book together first and then she gets in her bed. Sound machine and ok to wake light on, and I leave. Works great for us. The timer method works really well for us for a lot of things – ending bath time, leaving the house etc. Good luck!
It doesn’t sound like she is ready to drop the nap, but it does sound like she is trying to push that boundary at home, to see what she can get away with (normal toddler behavior). She’s napping at school because she’s not comfortable pushing her boundary there (usually because they save this type of boundary pushing for mom and dad). By no means am I an expert, but a few thoughts. I would try the following. First, transition her to a toddler and/or regular bed. That transition has to happen eventually, and the last thing you want is to get her napping again and then mess it up as soon as you are ready to transition her out of the crib. Once you have her all set-up, clearly establish the boundary/set the expectation that she will have naptime every day (I believe you use the hatch, so use this to let her know, when the light is green, for example, it’s naptime). You cannot make her sleep, that’s her job, but you can stand firm on the expectation that for xxx amount of time, she will be in her room with an opportunity to nap. If you have to resort to locking the door from the outside so she doesn’t wander out of her bedroom, don’t feel like this is cruel. Completely child proof her room and trust in knowing that she is safe, and she can learn to do this. Consistency everyday is key. If she screams for a few days, that’s ok. It will be hard, but she will eventually learn that this is a boundary she can’t break. Set a naptime routine and stick to it (i.e., read 2 books together of her choice before laying her down or a simplified version of her bedtime routine). Keep naptime at home the same time as it is at school. As she has already showed us, she is perfectly capable of napping at that time! Lastly, you have to stop watching the monitor! She is putting on a show, and that show is for you!! And she knows it is working. You must trust in the truth – she is loved, she is safe, and she can learn to do this! Good luck!
This is exactly word for word what I wanted to write but didn’t want to overwhelm but I did this exact thing and it worked like a charm. I even locked the door. My kids are well rested and happy and better for it. Thanks Andrea for writing it out so well.
Thank you! I also locked my toddler’s door from the outside at first when we transitioned her to a toddler bed. After a few hard days, she got the hang of it! Now we no longer have to lock her door, she’s got this!
This is all amazing advice, I could not agree more with all of this!
From a momma of 3 beautiful kids, 110% it’s time for a big girl bed! I’ve been reading through all the comments and we all seem to be giving you the same advice. Try moving to a bed before attempting to drop her nap. Also she may need more awake time before her nap. I’ll only caution you that making the transition to a big girl bed won’t necessarily be without it’s challenges in the beginning. But you need to set the expectations and expect her to fulfill those expectations. Just remember like sleep training, don’t go backwards, it will get easier as you go and you will confuse her if you aren’t consistent. Do your research and Good luck!
Hi Ali!
After watching your videos and reading your post my thought is that Molly has FOMO. She is afraid she will miss out on something when she takes a nap. It makes sense why she will nap at school, because everyone else is napping.
Just may idea, I’m not a parent yet so I don’t have a great solution. Maybe the whole house can have nap time.
Keep the videos coming, your family is the most adorable!!!
Have you considered giving her melatonin? They make the gummies and you can get them over the counter. They work well. Good luck!
I don’t think you need to overthink it. She can feel how badly you want her to nap, she knows that’s your expectation and that she can choose whether or not to do it. Give up the control. Just say after lunch we all lay down in our beds for an hour or whatever. Even set that clock you use to indicate how long she needs to ‘rest her body’. Be consistent. Don’t drive around desperately trying to get her to sleep on the go. Be consistent but no pressure. We lay down to rest our bodies. It isn’t a choice and then walk away.
Sounds like it’s bringing you too much stress! My 3 year old doesn’t nap and she adjusted fine. Sleeps longer at night now. It just takes some time for them to get used to their schedule. Not worth the fight!!!
My personal opinion is that she needs a big girl bed and i think she needs to drop the nap but if she drops it at home she has to drop it at school too. My girls stopped napping at 18 months and we in a big girl bed by then too with my youngest. . It isn’t fun dropping the nap. They get super tired around dinner time and cranky as hell. Sometimes falling asleep during dinner but after a week or so they get used to it.
I agree that it might be time for the transition into a big girl bed. And, adjusting the schedule a bit. Adjust the time she goes down for her nap a little and stick with a solid bedtime. Thats been key for our family. When my little was taking naps, she is 6 now and only passes out in the car on long drives, if she went down for a nap at noon, and her bedtime was 7, she still went down for the night at 7. To this day, 7 is a hard bedtime for her. Granted, if it’s a weekend and we have plans that makes us miss her 7 bedtime, that’s fine. But during the week it’s a hard 7. She’s that kid that craves and functions so much better with a solid schedule and routine. Just my thoughts! 🙂
We used Tara to sleep train our little one and she’s phenomenal! She works over the phone/Skype and trains children up to 6 years!
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Hey there,
This must be so hard for you guys, I’m sorry you’re going through this. Does Molly sleep in a crib at school? Maybe a big girl bed would help?
This may sound crazy, but my toddler son actually started napping better after we moved him into a toddler bed. We made a really big deal out of being a “big boy” now and that big boys nap in big boy beds. When it is time for his nap we will walk upstairs together, go potty, and he gets to pick 2 books to take into the bed with him. Then he climbs into his bed all by himself. I watch him on the monitor and he will sit and read for about 20 minutes and then lay down and fall asleep. With his crib he was just so upset about being trapped in there all he could focus on was getting out. But with his big boy bed, he has the freedom to get out if he wants, but it isn’t a power struggle anymore. I will say, the few times that he has refused to get into his bed for nap (which really isn’t often) I remind him that he gets that bed for being a big boy and he needs to show me what a big boy he is. I also act like its not a big deal – I tell him he doesn’t have to nap, he can just sit in his bed and read. I think because it gives him the freedom to decide if he wants to nap, which he always ends up doing, he doesn’t fight back. I hope this helps! I know its a huge transition to move into a toddler bed, but it’s actually been SO much better than I expected and he absolutely loves it. Even when he is having a terrible tantrum, he will sometimes go up to his room and get into his bed by himself to help calm down. He will be 3 in November. (On a side note, I love following you and your blog, you’re a great Mom and a huge source of inspiration and encouragement for me, thanks for sharing your life and advice with us!)
Ignore nasty comments. Toddlers, toddlers going through sleep transitions, make for very very very exhausted and frustrated parents. You’re tired, but you also hate seeing your child exhausted. There are so many conflicting pieces of advice and many are adamant their way is the only way. You’re doing a wonderful job, at the hardest job there is. Try different things and do what works for you. You’ll get through it!
Check the gold the cradle coach, I heard a lot of moms good reviews about this
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I’m with everyone else suggesting the toddler or twin bed. I just switched my (almost) three year old and overall it is going well! We also use the Hatch Rest light and I tell him I’m not coming back until the light is green. Sometimes he just plays in his room and honestly, I’m ok with that. He will lay down on and off so there is some resting happening. Sometimes I will talk to him via the baby monitor and tell gently tell him to get back in bed. Anyways, maybe a big girl bed would make her feel more independent and excited to be in her room.
I’m a mom if 4. All my kids stopped napping early! Like 20 months. But I’m the mom that would rather an easier bed time then fight naps
My you gets will be 3 at the end of the month. He does not nap at home BUT will at daycare! The days he naps bedtime is a disaster. I actually hate bed time those nights! I’m talking he’s in bed at 730 and I’m still fighting him to go to bed at 9!!!
So I have told daycare no more naps !
That’s just me and what works for us. I personally ally would rather deal with a cranky 3yr old (almost) duding the day and have my evenings free to hang out with my older 2! 2/4 go to bed at 7-730
Maybe molly is ready for a big girl bed. More room to read and cozy with her stuffies?
All my kids were in double beds at 19months. My 2/3 boys are monkeys and my daughter she was in a double bed at 16 months because her brother was on his way and I didn’t want 2 cribs
Good luck
Your family is beautiful
All my kids (5) napped until kindergarten. And would even, from time to time, sleep during rest time in kindergarten. Their sleep schedule was never affected. Naps, or not, were never an option. We had lunch, then naps,
I also have a degree in childcare and ever child I’ve watched over the past 20 years has napped at my house and rarely at home (at Molly’s age). But, again. Naps at my house weren’t optional. It was just part of my routine.
I’ve noticed a few things in this time-
Routine helps. I know you talk of Molly being big on routine. Same every day. (Or close to it)
Nap is not an option. During this time you’re in your room. Period. (Whether she falls asleep is her choice.)
I would suggest using something like Riley’s light, to reduce or eliminate her telling for you. And reminding her you will come get her when she is finished. Not the other way around.
Last suggestion- time for a big girl bed. All my kids were out of a crib by 2. She’s plenty old enough to have one. And that may help her desire to nap in it. Being able to get in and out, not being confined.
Just thoughts. Of course. Everyone’s parenting style is different.
We are going through the same struggles with our 3 year old son! And he’s in a bed not a crib so I don’t think that changes anything. He naps at preschool no problem but that’s only twice a week, the other five days are a fight. Most days I don’t even try because it turns into a big battle. It’s usually every second day he absolutely needs a short nap so we do the car ride as well! I don’t have any suggestions just letting you know you’re not alone!
I think it’s time to try out a big girl bed before you give up on the nap completely! Good luck!
My son turned 3.5 in July and I have to say…those first 6 months of age 3 were rough!!! I think it is a tough age where they try to push back and be in charge of a lot. He is an easy-going happy kid and it was still an off time developmentally for him. Nap is a really easy place where kids can assert control. Now that he is 3.5 he is awesome again. I vaguely remember my older daughter going through similar 6-month behavior swings.
I also think the time when kids drop nap is an awkward time. There’s a real weird in-between where they don’t really need the nap but they also can’t make it to bedtime. I’ve found with our son that he doesn’t need to nap every day but he does need to nap a few times a week. Is there a way she can take a longer nap at school?
I’d also move her awake light a little bit later. We pushed my son’s from 6:30 to 6:45 am and we’ve noticed a positive difference in his behavior since we did that. Essentially we are trying to slowly get him to sleep longer at night. It really does take awhile for these shifts to happen.
Have you considered taking everything out of her room that can possibly hurt her and put her in a toddler bed!? Make it like she is moving into a big girl bed? You may have to lay on the floor with her the first few times but after that she should be able to go In and lay on her own. Maybe she feels the crib is two confining with the rails. Hang in there momma!
Sarah
I would say molly is growing out of her naps, when my son grew out of his naps we stopped naps and started putting him to bed at 6:30 which turned out to be amazing he went to bed early and it gave me and hubby much needed time together at night. Good luck
A big girl bed might be great motivation!
Maybe a big girl would help and let her pick out the type blankets and sheets she would like for her big girl bed maybe that will help her be excited about going take a nap.
Check out busy toddler on Instagram she has lots of good info on naps and transitions etc.
Hi Ali!
I’m with everyone else. A big girl bed for sure! also, if she is throwing fits and having meltdowns because she didn’t take a nap, I would suggest talking to her when she is not having a meltdown and tell her how important sleep is and if she doesn’t nap, clearly she needs it, maybe not letting her watch her favorite show etc.
I wouldn’t make it a punishment, but basically she earns her favorite show by doing what’s important and that would be a nap.
If my daughter carries on like that daily, something is being taken away because she’s smart enough to understand. 🙂
Hugs to you. Parenting is so hard some days. My top suggestions would be 1. Transition to a big girl bed. 2. Be consistent. Her fits are showing you that she still needs a nap even if she doesn’t want one. You may just have to feel like a jerk for a few weeks to get her back in the habit. 3. Try a toddler weighted blanket. 4. Don’t show stress or fear or hesitation when starting the sleep time process. She will pick up on it. It’s just a matter of fact. It’s nap time, this is what we’re doing, this us why we’re doing it. I love you goodnight. 5. Try a rewards chart. This works great for some kids, others not so much but its worth a try. If she lays down without a fight she gets a sticker, if she rests quietly for an hour she gets 2 stickers, if she sleeps she gets 3 stickers. Come up with a prize fit whatever is a realistic amount of stickers for her to earn. You can do a small daily prize and a bigger weekly prize. My kids favorite prizes are dates with mom or dad without siblings, new books, dessert before dinner. 6. Last but not least do something either super active or super relaxing before nap time. Depends on the kid which works next. My oldest needs to read or do kids yoga before bed. My middle needs to jump on her trampoline or have a dance party to get her wiggles out before bed.
I am here for the comments! Though I do agree with the others that a big girl bed will probably help. My girl just turned 4 and she refuses to nap on the weekends. We don’t even try anymore. The only place she’ll sleep is in the car. But she does sleep everyday at school!
I sent you a DM on instagram last night but maybe you don’t see those, so I’ll post here too. I’m thinking maybe it’s the crib. I’m sure at school she sleeps on a cot and in the car it’s a car seat. Both are not a closed in area. Just a thought to maybe help. I transitioned my daughter many years ago to a toddler bed with a rail when she was 2, same with my son and they both loved the freedom of feeling like a big kid. They slept so much better and loved climbing into their big kid bees. We made the whole process exciting from them picking out their bedding to helping make it the first night. I hope you get some relief with nap time. Best wishes.
Hi Ali, I sent you a DM about what I did with my son when he was that age. He stopped napping around 3 as well and also was the only kid in preschool who WOULDNT nap. The teacher had to entertain him during that time. What worked for me was 2 things. 1) I would put him in my bedroom where the TV was and told him he had to have a rest time. He didnt have to fall asleep he just had to rest and watch TV. I would set a timer for an hour and he knew that he could not get up at all and he didnt. Some days he fell asleep but most days he fought it. It helped immensly because I knew I had that hour to get things done. It was the only way to keep my sanity. 2) I would put him in the stroller and walk him around our culdesac until he fell asleep and then lower the stroller and actually bring it in the house and put him in his room. He stayed asleep and it worked like a charm. He is grown now but oh how I remember those frustrating days so I can sympathize. Hope this helps and good luck. I dont think they are totally ready to give up naps at this age so even a rest time consistently every day really helped.
maybe she is ready for a big girl bedroom. Maybe you can persuade her to read books in her big girl bed for quiet time instead of taking a nap.
I have a 3 year old too. She hasn’t consistently napped since she was 2 years old, but she naps at her current school (sometimes). I think she naps at school because 1) her friends are doing it, 2) it’s an expectation from her teachers, and 3) she has been engaged all day (she should be tired at school from all the playing and school “work.”) Molly might not be tired at home simply because she is not as engaged mentally and physically compared to her time at school. I think if you give her quiet time/quiet play and set the expectation that she is to play by herself and keep quiet to avoid waking brother, you can still have “nap time” at your house. But it sounds like Molly might be ready to forego her daily naps.
Good luck!
My Daughter the sane age as molly and she’s has not been napping for some while, yes at first it was hard she was cranky for the last hour and now she honestly does not get cranky at all. She Definitely will adjust. each kid is different but I would stick with the no napping. My daughter would have a really hard time falling a sleep after a nap. Also she’s been in a bed for a while. Not sure if that helps as well.
Does she nap in a crib at school? My 3 year old daughter was having issues with sleep through the night without me in her room. My husband and I decided to buy her a full sized mattress( her crib converted to a toddler bed ten a full sized bed) and now it’s night and day. She loves her bed and I still go in her room every once in a while but not like before. We do have a bed rail on her bed so she won’t fall out.
I’ve been watching your struggles on IG and didn’t comment because I’m afraid it will come off as too harsh. In my opinion, Molly is napping at school because it is an expectation. Her teachers have done a good job of establishing their routine and they don’t back down. Molly has won some battles with you. You have given in and not made her nap and her teachers never have. I guarantee she pushes their boundaries in different ways but they won’t back down from the hard and fast nap rule. I would give her a choice…you can nap in our bed or your bed but you are napping. Also, consider adding a twin bed in her room. She might be ready to transition out of her crib. No Matter how exhausting…don’t back down from this. You are setting expectations every day. Good luck ❤️
Just a general comment not really advice but anytime your child hears you say “she won’t nap” they start to do just that. The other day I was swimming at the pool with my son and a mother yelled to her boys that were interested in my baby you’re wreckless leave that baby alone! Haha that’s not what you are doing but the boys are thinking to themselves they are wreckless but they were actually being wonderful. but it is just a reminder that the way you talk about it makes a difference and they hear you. If she hears she isn’t napping she might be doing just that. Maybe a little reward system for napping? Like start small if you stay in your crib for 30 min quietly we can do something fun this afternoon. If not, then we will have to miss family dancing. Or all of that might be too much negotiation! 😃 i would ask those teachers for sure!! They just don’t make it an option it sounds like and at home she has a choice and it is a hot topic. Good luck!
Also maybe tell your daughter school to please not give her nap that’s what I did with my daughter school it kept throwing her off schedule.
Then what do they do with her? I was a preschool teacher for 11 years and it was nap time in the entire school. If they didn’t want there child to nap, they can come pick them up. You can’t ask a teacher to create an area for your child to lay quietly or stay awake because they would have 15 kids not wanting to sleep and that’s not fair to anyone.
Agreed… big girl bed!
Adding to my previous comments, if you dont put her in a big girl bed right away, let her take her rest time in your bed. I did that with my son and let him watch TV, set the timer for 1 hour and he couldnt get up until it went off. He may or may not fall asleep but he loved the fact that he could take his rest time in mom and dads bed.
I’m sure some have mentioned it but maybe she’s ready for a toddler bed, maybe she’s feeling to confined in the crib. My oldest was in a toddler bed at 3 and my youngest at 2. And they both slept so much better. I would definitely consider this
Probably time for her to transition to a big girl bed. Worked when mine was her age, and we let her be involved with the sheets and blanket choices, etc. Especially when they are not napping in a crib at school.
Hey! I have worked with kiddos Molly’s age and helped raise a few kiddos. I know nap time can be a pain. It is all about routine and never backing down. You are in charge, not her. 2 years and up are master manipulators. They will do whatever they have to do in their little minds to get what they want and it is exhausting for the adult. However, you and Kevin are the adults. my suggestion is To put her in bed with a couple books if you want or nothing at all, and tell her you love her and it’s time for EVERYONE to rest. Mommy and Daddy need a break too. Do not go in to her room or in to get her for any reason. You have to be firm and you will feel like a jerk, especially in the beginning. However, after a couple weeks, maybe sooner, she will figure out that she won’t win and the fight will be over. You just have to stick to what you do without wavering. It is HARD!! 3 year olds are very good at manipulation and convincing you to let them do what they want. Good luck, sister!
I have twin boys, 3.5 yrs old, and same thing! We dropped their naps. Her are my tips. It’s time for a big girl bed. And when she doesn’t nap bedtime has to be 6:30pm. My boys are still brutal between the hours of 4-6pm cuz of the no nap situation but we suck it up. If they do nap it’s just for an hour and then they stay up later, I can’t deal with that. I like my whole house quiet by 8pm or so! Ha! Best of luck!
Hi Ali, My little girl wont nap either for me the last few weeks. I dont know what has happened. She is almost three. My husband got her to take one yesterday some how. I’ve just about to give up trying. I have been just trying to get her to go to bed early. I totally understand how frustrating it is. I dont know what to do either. May go read my Supernanny books by Jo Frost and see if she has advice in there.
Jenny
Our son did this same thing. We switched him to a big boy bed and it corrected. Basically he was sleeping in a cot at school and was in a crib at home – that was the only difference and when we switched to a bed he went back to napping. Hope you figure out what works for Molly soon!!!! It is so frustrating when they don’t nap but you know they need to.
My daughter turned 3 in August & she does not nap on the weekends anymore. Rarely she will take a car nap if we are in the car for an hour + but if we are hanging at home we do not push it and we just put her to bed a little early. Seems to be working so far. She does still nap M-F at daycare.
ps still in a crib at home because she puts herself to sleep like a CHAMP
I agree with a lot of the above- ditch the crib, and make her have rest time in the quiet. I just do not believe at 3 yrs old she is ready to drop nap. I have 3 kiddos, and they laid down for nap until kindergarten. They did not have to sleep, but they had to be in their bed in the afternoon. If they were tired they slept, if not, the quiet time was enough to recharge them(and me, too!). Yes, she may fight you, but consistency is key, and sometimes some tough love is necessary.
I think a big girl bed would help! My daughter just turned 3 and went through a phase of refusing to nap. We transitioned her to a big girl bed a few months ago and told her she didn’t have to nap but had to have quiet time in her room. Sometimes she would go right to sleep, sometimes she would roam around her room for a bit. Sometimes she would get in and out of her bed a few times, grab a few books and a stuffed animal and read in bed and every time she would end up passing out. (She only has books and stuffed animals in her room, no other toys) She also has a princess castle with tons of pillows and blankets, so sometimes when I feel like she’s going to protest the nap I give her a choice of sleeping in the bed or in her tent. She likes options and we always kind of change it up (new books or rotate stuffed animals to take to bed). I know every kid is different but hope that helps!
I concur what others have suggested, it’s time for a big girl bed. Also, find out from her teachers what their nap time routine is. I am a preschool teacher and we often do about 10 mins of yoga with soft music on. It helps relax and transition them to nap. Start a sticker chart, giving her a sticker or stamp for every nap or quiet time she completes. After so many days, let her choose either an activity to do with you or some sort of reward. I hope this helps! Much luck to you!!
I think a big girl bed may help because it does sound like she is trying to exercise her will. She is not yet at the age of dropping the nap fully but she has the will to try. With determined kids its just a little harder because their brains are so focused on what they want. I would encourage supervised and restricted freedom for naps in a big girl bed. My 2y10m old has had his since 2y3m because of a baby brother coming in the picture and most days he naps and others he just lays in bed singing and reading. Those days I just know to put him to bed earlier because fighting with him to nap is a no win for everyone. Plus I know in those moments he’s just busy absorbing his environment and stimuli and also learning to Choose what to do with his time. Its not always the battle parents think to give a child some freedom. Boundaries need to be learned as with all changes but they learn fast and as with anything consistency brings results. As for you I would just try to relax. If she doesn’t nap be prepared to put her to bed earlier but don’t worry about why she doesn’t nap. Its too much energy and its not worth it. Let her feel freedom enough to explore the ability to stay awake and after the rush of it goes away she’ll decide if she wants to nap or not. I found he naps more than I ever thought he would in his bed. And when he doesn’t he enjoys he’s space. It’ll all work out! Good luck!
We are going through this exact same thing in my house with my daughter who will be 3 next week. I read somewhere about getting a “quiet time” box. Fill it with books and small toys that they are only able to use during the designated quiet time. I’m going to give this a try and hopefully it will be a win for every one! Good luck mama and thanks for always being so vulnerable and sharing your life with us!!
I went through the exact same thing with my 3 year old but I knew she wasn’t ready to drop her nap because of how tired she would be by mid afternoon and how poor her attitude was. We pushed back her nap time which helped so much! We also change the time depending on when she woke up that day or how she’s acting.. For awhile she wasn’t going for a nap until 2/230 and she would fall asleep almost immediately. Now for whatever reason she’s back napping at 1230/1pm. Try playing around with her schedule to see if that helps! You also may need to push back bedtime if she’s napping later that’s the only down side. Good luck!
Just a thought. I’m not sure it will work, but maybe transitioning her to a toddler bed. We actually got our son a full size bed and he loves it.
We had the same issues with one of our daughters; she had outgrown her naps a little before she turned 3 years old. The biggest thing that helped us was transitioning out of a crib to a toddler bed. We still told her that we expected her to have quiet time, but that could mean different things. Some days, for her, it meant grabbing a book and laying in bed and reading it or having a “quiet” tea party with her stuffed animals. She still stayed in her room and was quiet for that period of time, but she didn’t necessarily have to nap. Some days we were lucky and she would fall asleep while reading.
Hang in there!
Maybe sleeping at school and feeling like a big girl on a mat near other kids makes her feel upset when she has to sleep in a crib at home? I have no idea, just a thought. Maybe having her take a nap in the living room, or even transitioning into a toddler bed or a mat in her bedroom during the day like she gets to at school? I am thinking sleeping at school where she can get up whenever she wants might make her feel more independent whereas she is stuck in a crib and can’t get out unless you get her when she is at home.
My 4 year olds naps are kind of hit or miss (she’s honestly probably ready to drop them), but before this she was always a great napper. She has never liked laying down, but has always fallen asleep. One thing we do is let her nap in our bed. She’s in there alone, but she likes the idea of napping in a big bed I guess. I don’t know if Molly would just get up and leave or not, but our daughter knows that she has to lay in bed for one hour and then I’ll come check on her. If she’s still awake she gets to get up. We put white noise on and she usually goes to sleep. But, I do always go in and check and if she’s still awake after an hour she can get up. I think it helps her feel like she has an out if she’s really not tired that day. We’ve been doing this for over a year now and it works for us ☺️
How about just letting her nap on the couch or in your bed? Switching her out of the crib may also help! Good luck!
I’ve been so impressed you had her napping for this long. The struggle is soooo real. My 2.10yo dropped the nap at school months ago and at home even earlier. I’m incredibly jealous of all the napping 4yo in her preschool class. I have no idea how they do it! The only chance we have of her dozing at home is driving around in the car (or boat in the summer) because she wants to be part of EVERYTHING and fights to stay awake. At school she has “quiet time” which I’m trying to start on weekends as well. I’ve been putting her in her room sometimes calmly and sometimes screaming to have some time alone. She can sit in her bed, talk to herself, read, as long as she has some time alone to rest. I find that way the days she needs it she does fall asleep. I’ve been using the 1yo as a way to encourage her to nap and explaining that everyone needs some time in their own space.
She’s also been in a big girl bed since before turning 2, since she threw herself out of the crib in a tantrum all because of nap time. It takes time and patience to adjust into a routine of staying in the bed. However, not worth risking a concussion so would definitely encourage the move out of the crib if she’s visibly upset during naps or bedtime.
The good news is that with or without the nap mine is a great sleeper at bedtime. So as frustrating as it can be, hopefully it won’t switch over to anything more than nap transitioning. Good luck!!! Stay strong!! Everyone is different and you know what’s right for Molly.
Maybe it’s time for a big girl bed. My son did the same thing (only for naps and never at bedtime). We switched to a big boy bed and he started napping again. I was really scared of no crib because he loved it so much but he LOVED his new bed even more.
Hi
I was thinking try getting her a toddler bed and make it exciting… a great place for naps and hype up being a big girl etc
You’re doing a great job!!!
I love ‘quiet time’ with mine. They have to play in their room by themselves. And mostly if they are super tired they fall asleep playing or will go to bed alone and fall asleep. Big girl bed needed for that. But if I would say it’s nap time, they would fight it! My biggest is 8y old and she has her attitudes and quiet time is good for that, no nap, but time for her to think, lay down, be alone….
Hey Ali,
I’m not a mom but a behavior analyst so these are just my thoughts. I’d say find something motivating for molly and then create a reward system. Create realistic expectations about what she acts like before nap, how long she stays in her room, etc and then provide reinforcement. Maybe every 5 stickers she gets an extra dessert at dinner or 5 extra minutes of book reading at bedtime. Or maybe mommy or daddy and molly dates. 🤷♀️ Increase the expectations as you see her following the guidelines. I always tell my clients they are so smart we have to “level up” so their brain can keep growing bigger and bigger. It works for some kids. Good luck and I look forward to all your posts and stories!!! Thanks for being you!
Our girls are 23 months apart, and it was hard when our oldest dropped her nap. I have several friends whose child napped at school but not at home (so you’re not alone on that one). We decided to make “nap bins” for our oldest that she could only play with during naptime. I rotated them and kept it interesting (hello Pinterest!). That way she had quiet time while my youngest slept (and I could get a break). I also set her “wake-up Light” during naptime so she knew when she could come out. It wasn’t always perfect, but she got the hang of it! We probably had a reward system too if she stayed quiet. Good luck!
Time for a big girl bed! She’s probably sleeping at school because she enjoys something different.
She is definitely ready for a big girl bed. Does she nap on a cot at school? She’s ready!!! Princess bed!
She is way too big for a crib anymore. I almost think you are giving her too many choices. You need to just say its time to rest and that’s it. You have to catch her before she gets too tired. Make sure it’s at or about the same time as they do it at school. Lay in her room with her for the first few times. Just say its rest time or quiet time. You don’t have to call it nap time. She just needs that quiet resting time instead of going non stop all day long.
I have 3 year old twins and over the summer, they started flipping out when it was time for naps. They didn’t have a problem at our sitters house, only when they were at home. So nap time turned into “quiet time”… sometimes they don’t sleep and that’s ok, they just play quietly. But on the days that the girls don’t nap, my husband and I are pretty consistent on putting them to bed early…. and typically on those days, they don’t fight us. Good luck to you!
As a previous preschool teacher, I would read a story(same one every day) in a normal tone next I would read a new story in a whisper voice before nap time. Then during nap time would play classical or lullaby music and all this would help them know it’s quiet time.
Hi Ali.
You are doing a great job riding your
Children. You are only human so don’t be too hard on yourself to find the answer right away. Sometimes it really is trial and error and sometimes it is a sign that miss Molly is changing and evolving.
My little bit of advice is to have her school teacher whisper in her ear … to remind Molly that nap time at home is as important as it is at school. Maybe her teacher can give her mermaid or princess stickers when her mommy tells the teacher she had her nap at home … and maybe once she reaches a calendar full of stickers she gets to go do something special for someone or have her favorite snack!
Hang in there. It will all be ok!
Sally xo
My son is 3.5 and we have the same battle. He is hit or miss with napping at school, days he doesn’t he will usually fall asleep on the car ride home (I pick him up at 5 so this is annoying because it really messes up bedtime). On the weekends I have found the only way to get him to nap is me laying with him. He has a twin “big boy bed” and I give him about a 30 min warning and we go in together and cuddle in the silence and he will be out pretty fast. He will not fight me either as long as i lay in there until he falls asleep and honestly it’s kind of nice to lay there quietly together – sometimes i fall asleep too! But this is the the ONLY way. Trying to put him in bed by himself creates world war 3. And just like you, bedtime is FINE just naps are touchy. So my suggestion would be maybe it’s time for a regular bed and you can lay with her! 🙂
I think it may be time for a big girl bed 🛌
😉 good luck
Hi Ali.
You are doing a great job raising your
children. You are only human so don’t be too hard on yourself to find the answer right away. Sometimes it really is trial and error and sometimes it is a sign that miss Molly is changing and evolving.
My little bit of advice is to have her school teacher whisper in her ear … to remind Molly that nap time at home is as important as it is at school. Maybe her teacher can give her mermaid or princess stickers when her mommy tells the teacher she had her nap at home … and maybe once she reaches a calendar full of stickers she gets to go do something special for someone or have her favorite snack!
Hang in there. It will all be ok!
Sally xo
“Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child” by Dr. Marc Weissbluth, MD — this book was a godsend for me and literally solved every issue we ever dealt with, especially in the transitional years.
Best wishes! 💜
FYI There is no link to your website on your Instagram page. It only brings up a frosted mini wheat page
First I just want to say I think you’re an incredible mom and it’s super, super neat to see someone like you be transparent and reach out to other mamas.
My suggestion is definitely a big girl bed! Make it a big ordeal to go pick it out and have her super involved! Make her feel like she gets it because she gets more responsibility because she’s older and ready to have her quiet time and her naps in there. I know it can be a super scary transition but she’s at the age where a crib can feel too restricting. Oddly they demonstrate more restraint sometimes when given more room.
Good luck mama!!! 💕💕
Hi! I see some opinions about getting her a “big girl bed”. I’m not sure what is best but my amazing mother is a Pediatric Sleep Consultant and everyone she works with says she fixes their sleep problems in two weeks! I highly recommend her, you’d love her 🙂
https://www.pediatricsleepstrategies.com (her name is Joanie:))
Big girl bed and a sticker chart. She earns a sticker when she does quiet time in her room for an hour. No screaming when she’s done, just assure her you will get her when time is up and she earns a sticker. Maybe she falls asleep,maybe she doesn’t but consistency is key! After a certain number of stickers, a fun treat! If she does drop the nap altogether she definitely needs an early bedtime, maybe 6:30 to ensure she’s getting enough rest.
Sweet mama! You’re doing an amazing job. I’m a preschool teacher and support lots of parents with sleep stuff…it’s so tricky! I see lots of ladies recommending a big bed, which could help! I also swear by visual timers. They are great for self-regulation! Since Molly is so bright and cognizant, she might be able to handle a “you can’t make noise until the timer goes off” and then she can do what she wants in her room as long as she’s quiet! Have you tried asking the teachers what sleep music they play? I have sent my rest time playlist to parents before so the kids get the same music at home and school. Just some ideas of things to try! Keep us posted! 😘
Time to take her out of the crib and put her in a bed either toddler or twin. I bet at school she naps on a mat. Sometime at her age a crib starts feeling very tight or claustrophobic for them. They feel they cant move on their own.
I understand this bc I did not like to nap as a kid. I had terrible FOMO! I thought my family went to Disneyland if I caught one extra ounce of shut eye. My mom got rid of my crib and got me a bed room set not just a big girl bed. I had this super tiny room bc my parents didn’t plan on having more kids when they built the house. So my mom redid my room a little with my new twin bed and matching furniture. I would go in my room and read quietly or play quietly for an hour at least. She would let me watch the Brady Bunch if I stayed quiet. I didn’t nap much at school bc again, FOMO. I definitely think her crib could be making her feel trapped. Maybe the freedom to move about would help. Move about, but stay quietly in her room. She may fall asleep more naturally. These transitions are never easy and not the same for any kid. Best of luck with it all! Hugs!
First of all, you are awesome! I say stick it out and stay with the naps. Do not give it up, she’s just in a stage and pushing the limits as they do at that age. It may be time for a big girl bed and some big girl expectations with reward. Lots of different options to make it a reward system and we’ve changed it up as necessary to re engage the desire to get rewarded. We have done a reward of a small treat right when they wake up if they stay in their bed and go straight to sleep. Or a reward sticker chart, if they can get a sticker x amount of days then they can _______. I let them fill in the blank: go out for ice cream alone with mommy or daddy, go to the indoor jumping place, go to the aquarium, stay the night at their cousins, whatever is reasonable and age appropriate. When we transitioned from crib to big boy bed I even mean mom’d It and only allowed him in new big boy bed if he acted like a big boy and went to sleep as expected. I still threaten to move him and or take away things he loves to sleep with (specific blankets and stuffed animals). And I have had to really take them away and follow through so he knows I mean business. Anyways, I have three boys. Not one specific technique has worked every time or with every child. It’s forever evolving and I expect it to stay that way.
Hi Ali came to read your blog after watching your Instagram story! I’m here to help!
It sounds like your baby girl wants to be grown up just like her momma. Which is perfectly normal.
I would suggest looking into getting her a “big girl” bed. That she gets to pick and decorate. This will get her excited to spend time in her new bed and hopefully nap.
Second I would keep a nap schedule. Preferably around the same time she naps at school. Children often are able to nap at school because they follow and do as all the other children do and as teachers say. They always want to be good listener, so when it’s nap time at school, it is nap time!
I would ask the teacher what they do before nap time? Do they play music or sing a song? Try to do the same routine. Or you and molly can come up with a routine together. I have found that laying in bed and letting the child pick out 2 books to read and then 2 songs works great. Makes sure to keep it the same each day. Most of the time children will agree to two books but then ask for “one more” each time. This is them tricking you into prolonging nap time. Don’t fall for it. You can tell them “we can read 2 more book tomorrow or when you wake up”. I also suggest turning the light off after reading the books and singing two songs while the lights are off. And encourage your child to listen with their eyes close.
I noticed you mention you reminded molly one hour before and then decreased the reminder each day. That can actually confuse children and make them believe you have given them an hour yesterday and only 15 mins prep time the next. Try to remind her each day at the same time. I suggest 30 minutes before. It might also help to set a timer on your phone and let her know when it goes off it is nap time. Set 30 minutes and then reminder her how many minutes are left as time decreases, 30 mins, 20 min, 10 mins, 5mins and 2 mins. Sometimes it can help if you ask her, “how much time would you like before naptime”. This is where you need to strategically tell her a time frame. Let’s say you want her to take her nap in the next 30 minutes. Ask her “how much time do you need before nap time, is 10 mins enough?” She will most likely say “no” and bargain a higher number. Maybe she will say 15 or 20. Which is completely fine. Then you set that time on the timer and reminder her how much time she has left and that when the timer goes up it’s time to get ready for nap.
Another thing I suggest is to make it about her dolls. Say “hey you baby doll looks tried, I think she needs a nap” and see what she does. Encourage her to put her dolls down for naps just the way you would put her down for her naps. Essential she will be putting her dolls and herself to nap without realizing it.
Remember consistency is key. I hope this helps! I wish you the best of luck
-Gabby
We moved my daughter before 3 years old to a twin bed. I highly suggest the same. A toddler bed is a total waste btw. No need to be confined to a crib at her age. Also, after that move to a twin bed, perhaps lay down with her for the first few minutes and read a story together in her big girl bed.
We used this to help with bedtime and transition into the big girl bed. My daughter also loves to read so she uses it every night before she falls asleep. It is self shut off. https://www.amazon.com/Munchkin-Light-My-Way-Nightlight/dp/B009UPUC36/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?keywords=owl+lantern+for+kids&qid=1570486086&sprefix=owl+lante&sr=8-1
Is she in a crib at school? Probably not. I think she should start sleeping in abed of her own. Make it nice for her. Then whether she sleeps or not she has quiet time in her room. She can read or talk to herself. It worked at my house. Good luck!
I am Grandma and my baby boy Grandson is now 16… But when he was little he fought naps, we then tried the couch and he would fall asleep watching a movie or reading a book. That being said he started getting really crabby and cranky, melt downs. We finally figured out he was hungry and didn’t understand what was wrong so acted up. Maybe try a good enough snack(real food not cookies or junk) to hold her over until dinner and see if it helps. May not help but does not hurt to try. And a big girl bed is a plus, I think she will love it … You are such a great Mom, all Moms and even Grandmas have bad times…
You might also try a ready to wake light. We set ours for an hour and tell our son when the light turns green, he can come out of his room. Some days he just has quiet time and some days he falls asleep, but he does like the light. Good luck!,
Another vote for the big girl bed. Don’t beat yourself up over getting frustrated. Parenting is crazy hard. Good luck, Mannos!
I would ask her teachers at school what they do for nap time and see if you can add those into your routine at home. She might not want to be in her crib anymore and is ready for a big girl bed
First off… you are amazing. And this mom thing is soooo hard! My toddler is only 19 months and has always been a terrible sleeper. So I’m probably not the best person to be giving advice. Lol. But…. my only thought is to move her out of her crib. Does she sleep in a crib at school? Maybe try and recreate her sleep environment from there. Like if she sleeps on a blanket on the floor. Try and put a blanket on the floor in her room. Not sure if it will work. But worth a shot! Good luck and keep us updated. Your mommy suggestions are always so helpful. So thank you!
Is she possibly having nightmares and not telling you about them?
As a preschool teacher I think it’s time for molly to get a big girl bed. I know from being at a preschool that the “older” preschool kids do not like being associated with anything baby. She might think she’s being treated like a baby in her crib. When my daughter cut naps I made her lay in bed with books and dolls. She could NOT get out of bed unless she had to pee. Hopefully everyone’s advice helps!
I have one boy, he stopped completely napping at 3 years old. But that down time was still necessary. So a few things, I would definitely transition her to a big girl bed. If she’s napping at school that may be part of the issue at home. Another piece is even if she doesn’t nap, I would definitely have a “quiet time” for one hour in her room. She can lay down, read, do a quiet activity but definitely a time to chill. And it should be the same time every day. You mentioned bedtime is later if she naps. That time is so crucial. Bedtime should stay the same time everyday, regardless of nap or no nap. If she’s going to bed 15-30 minutes later, and it can take up 30 to fall asleep that could be causing a very cranky child. Give yourself grace mama, some days are going to be rough, and the one thing I try to remind myself is that you can always try again tomorrow.
No im not A parent. But I have experience with kids and taking naps. Im a early headstart teacher. It it’s definitely time for a big girl bed. A few of my kids at work have beds like race cars etc in their parents room.
We switch our daughter at 1.5 years, (Needed the crib) now 2 to a big girl bed. We use the hatch light and she maybe gets out of bed once a week and reads books silently. I don’t understand with sleep training why they want the kids in a crib so long. I’ve seen it with Jillian Harris too but I’ve missed the why. You should switch her, she’s definitely ready!
We are going through the same thing. And he will nap when other people are watching him but not for my husband or I! After a few months of fighting him for an hour at a time for naps (and he would never actually sleep) we finally started letting him do “quiet time” by watching a tv show in our room… but be now ends up falling asleep every time!! So it’s probably not ideal for him to be in my room or watching tv but in the end it’s a win because he doesn’t fight us and he ends up getting a good nap in.
Have you tried quiet time with the light that says when she can come out of her room?
I have a July 2016 daughter who also doesn’t nap often anymore. If she does it’s much later in the day, there is no way she would sleep at noon or 1pm anymore. So on the days she does fall asleep it’s usually around 2 and it’s on the couch when I’m putting her little sister down. We now call these her catch up naps and they happen about once a week. Her bedtimes also got very late and difficult, so we weren’t too upset about dropping the nap as it made bedtime so much easier. However there was a transition period where right around supper time she was “not her best self” shall we say. It took a few months for her to be able to stay up later without the meltdowns. So I’d bet if you give it time the same will happen for Molly. Also ours has been in a big girl bed since 18 months old, so I’m not sure if still being in a crib is discouraging her from napping or not but it might be worth transitioning her to a toddler bed (we went right to a queen so we could lay with her easily when needed- I recommend it!) Good luck!
My son (he’ll be 4 in January) gave up naps at home once he turned 3, although he sometimes still naps at school. We stopped pushing it because it just became a battle we didn’t want to fight. We also moved him to a big kid bed at 3. Definitely think he was ready for it but it stinks once they can get out on their own. 🤪
I agree with everyone else. It’s time for a big girl bed. Both of my girls were in queen size beds by the time they were 2. My youngest was actually in her bed at 18 months and we never had a problem with naps. In fact, both girls took naps until they started kindergarten. It’s extremely important for them to get the right amount of sleep for their age and naps are essential. Good luck and I can’t wait to see her room transformation. You’re an excellent mother for asking for help!
I disagree with all those saying get her out of the crib. If she’s sleeping well at night it’s not the crib!! My daughter was in hers until she was 3.5 years old!
Try putting her down before Riley…she may need it earlier and be so overtired she’s fighting it. Check with school. What time do they start nap, is it dark? Do they play music? Is it on a nap mat? Maybe at home she can do a nap mat in the living room.
Just don’t ruin bed time by ditching the crib!
My 4.5 year old still naps daily. She’s required to stay in bed for 1 hour, most days she passes out within 10 mins. 1-2 days a week she just reads books and plays w her bears.
Maybe a diffuser with Lavender in room before her rest time ! Sounds like everyone saying a big bed and just maybe nap tome is over for her . My oldest daughter stop napping at 2.
Have you ever laid down with her to see if she will fall asleep? My son went through a phase where he was fighting naps and we started laying with him until he fell asleep (or took a nap with him if we were really tired lol). Each day he would fall asleep in a shorter amount of time, until we just had to rub his back for a few minutes. Now he has no problem!! Good luck! It’s rough
In my opinion, she’s too old to be in a crib. I’m guessing at school she is on some sort of mat on the floor which means she has more space to relax and/or doesn’t feel trapped. Also, maybe she gets more energy out at school and is ready for nap at noon but when she’s home, she’s not tired enough by noon to nap. Best of luck!
Transitioning her to a toddler bed may help. She seems very independent and having a big girl bed may make her feel better. I know my son we got him a bed and he slept better. She may end up walking to your room at night but that is part of training them to be independent.
Don’t beat yourself up about yelling and getting frustrated – it’s all a learning experience with these little ones. They are loved and safe; and they know that. Also you (and Kevin) are doing an amazing job!
Try getting her a brand new toddler bed that way it makes laying in it or sleeping in it more enticing.
You could set up the bed and leave the crib in there and give her the option of staying in bed for the quiet time or having to spend it in her crib if she decides not to listen. You can use the wake up light so she knows she can get up.
You could also just take of the side of the crib and use that as a toddler bed.
Had my son in a crib until he was 4 years old. Not once did he try to climb out. Naps weren’t a problem.
A switch to a big bed could help. Get her involved in picking things out and get her excited about it again. Ask her if she’s ready and wants that.
If she naps no problem at school and not for you it could just be that she’s being a typical toddler for Mon and Dad lol.
I find 2.5 and 3 means pushing boundries and exerting will. I like statements with options. Do want to go to bed in 5 minutes or 10 minutes? Do you want a nap or just quiet time today? Or explaining how napping helps her. “When you nap it gives you more energy to play longer. I would love to play more.. lets go for a nap so we can get our energy back”
I would try having her nap either in a bed on even on the floor with a sleeping bag. I think it might be the crib since she is still napping at school. Is there a way that you can lay your son down and then sit with her to rub her back or the forehead/eyebrows if she likes to lay on her back. I hope you can figure out a way that works for you guys.
I could have written this myself! I’m right there with you with my almost 3 year old daughter. We are struggling and I don’t feel like she’s ready to drop her nap and I’m terrified to get rid of the crib. Hoping to read some good advice in the comments. I’ve definitely struggled and had days where we argued and yelled and have found that just being patient and reinforcing/staying firm but keeping my cool has been the most affective. It’s so hard not to react sometimes though. Ugh. Lord help us!
Contact @getmooresleep on IG. She is amazing. You’ll enjoy her POV bc she’s a working mom and side sleep consultant…super smart and will help you troubleshoot this sleep struggle.
I have a daughter who is a month older than Molly. (I have to imagine she’s ready for a big girl bed but I don’t think that will touch your nap sitch. She may adjust quickly but it could take some time for sure.) If you’re totally committed to get a nap at home, I’d look at her overall sleep hours and consider adjusting nighttime sleep so that it’s an hourish less. Also – know that it’s totally normal that she sleeps at school but not at home. We also tire our girl out a ton before nap – lots of outside park time running around – so that she’s sleepier at naptime. If we don’t do it, she will fight nap like crazy. Hang in there tho!! Be as super consistent about your expectations and stay calm through the chaos!!
So my kids are much older now but we had a very tough time with my oldest (now all grown up) who just really did not sleep. We finally made an agreement that she did not have to sleep but went to her room, she could read or even watch an old video she has seen a million times. I know awful tv and we swore that wouldn’t be us but she is so like me and she can’t always calm her mind so something else to go us on let her relax enough to fall asleep. I think sometimes the silence of just laying there to sleep is overwhelming at times. She didn’t always nap and often didn’t but she rested and was so much happier. On the days she needed it she did sleep. I wish you so much luck and I don’t think there are any right or wrong answers we are just all trying to figure out what is best for our kiddos.
We let ours nap in our bed. He could watch TV always the same movie (cars) He’d always be out in the first few minutes. I think he felt like in our room he wasn’t missing out. We also later learned that in preschool they watched TV too. He napped till he was 6.
I think it is time for Molly to get a big girl bed! Dont know what they use at her school, but This may help her to be excited to be in a big girl bed and she will enjoy laying down. let her help pick out new bedding for it, maybe a new Bedtime only book or nightlight? I started to wean my girls off the naps at 3 1/2yrs old because their school starts preparing them for all day kindergarten. They were super tired and cranky but it just meant earlier bed time. ..and more wine time for this girl! Hang in there, it does get better. Best of luck!
Nap struggles are so exhausting. I’m sorry you guys are going through this.
She may be confused by the different sleeping arrangements/routines at home and at of school. Try putting her mattress on the floor and follow the sleep routine that she has at school. Sometimes kids just need consistency in order to feel secure.
Best of luck!
Hi Ali!
The struggle is real!! I would maybe inquire about the routine for naptime at school. If that is working, maybe they are doing something that you aren’t. Will she only sleep in her crib for naps? Maybe creating an alternative special space like a tent or something will encourage her to at least rest and maybe fall asleep. Or… like any good Mom does- bribe her 😂😂. The things we do for our babies.
You are doing such a good job! In the end I think these worries will be small on the radar. I try t convince myself of they daily.
Good luck!
Appreciate you sharing! Just a thought, maybe there is some correlation to the setting for her naps at school and her not wanting to nap at home? Is she in a crib there or some kind of cot or mat? Maybe she likes the openness and that she knows others are napping too? Perhaps she’s found comfort in napping there but at home feels lonely or like she’s missing out on something if she goes down.
My daughter just turned 3 as well and she still very much needs her naps. She has been in a big girl bed for ~6 months and toddler bed for 3 months before that (she starting climbing out of her crib in January so we had to convert!) Anyway, she’s never really napped in the bed, only our nanny can get her down in there. Otherwise we take her for a walk in the stroller or let her lay on the couch with blankees on the weekend and she’ll usually conk out for an hour/hour and a half. I only say this to make you feel better about the car rides. Trust me, we use that trick plenty! She gives us a little fight going to bed at night so I definitely understand how frustrating it can be when you know they are so tired yet fighting it so much.
Kids don’t want to eat or sleep and that’s all I want to do! Lol.
Stick with it. You’re doing great!
Hey Ali,
First of all I want to say you are a great mom. Not only because of what I see on your Instagram but because you ask for advice. When my daughter turned 2 we put her in a toddler bed. Honestly I was more nervous than she was. She will be 3 in December and she has no trouble sleeping in there. So my first suggestion is a toddler bed. My second suggestion is more of a question. How different is your bedtime routine than your nap time routine? Kids love routine. My daughter knows the routine at bedtime and nap time and most of its the same. So is your routine the same? I wish you the best of luck because not sleeping stinks. Thank you for all your sharing and I hope this made sense.
Jennifer
I agree about the crib, it is time to transition her to toddler bed. Also, since in school she is able to nap in more of a bigger/ open bed, then at home it should be pretty similar. We transitioned our son to toddler’s bed at 2 years old because he would fight his naps in the crib. We decorated the bed and the wall with cars that he likes and a year later, he continues to nap for 2h and continues to sleep for 10h at night. Since you guys already tried everything then changing bed wouldn’t hurt to try. Good luck and keep us posted. 🙂
I think it all comes down to a power struggle. You vs Molly. And whenever that happens you have already lost. I think that is why she is napping at school. All the other kids are napping and she has not duh in her heels.
Quiet time is the best idea and if she doesn’t sleep then she doesn’t sleep. I also like the idea of talking to her and telling her that when she doesn’t nap she gets grumpy and that is hard on everyone. Share with her your frustrations and listen to hers. The most important thing is to side step to power struggle. Good luck!
I am seeing a of comments about a big girl bed, and honestly, that was my thought. I’m not a mom, but I’m an aunt and a preschool teacher, so I deal with her age a lot. If she is napping at school, then I am guessing she sleeps on some kind of mat. Maybe a big girl bed would do just the trick! Huge jump for you and Kevin! Good luck!!
Perhaps time for a big girl bed:) worked like a charm for my 3year old. Naps came back perfectly. Try!
I remember when our girls gave up their naps. It happened at different times. Our oldest stopped napping at about the same age as your daughter. We changed nap time to rest time. Our rule that she had to stay in her room, preferably on her bed, for about an hour and quietly “read.” She thought it was great and we no longer had the no nap struggle. We moved dinner time and bed time back a little earlier. So worth it! Btw, our girls are now 15 and 17. Every phase is hard but they all pass 😊
Hi Ali! It’s not abnormal for kids to outgrow naps at age 3. Some kids are just not sleepers. I found that both my kids slept better at night when we dropped the nap. Just move bed time at night earlier. Also might as well let her keep taking naps at school as long as she’s fine with it there. She’s probably way more stimulated there with all the kids and activities, so it’s easier for her to drift off…and of course she isn’t going to argue with her teachers the way she argues with you. By the way, being strict doesn’t equal being a jerk. Kids need boundaries and consequences or they’ll try to rule the roost for life. I believe it’s actually more loving to put your foot down sometimes, even though as moms we feel so guilty about it. Lastly, I totally agree that it’s probably time for a toddler bed. If that doesn’t work, get her excited about an actual big girl bed. They do get so excited about being in their new beds, but be ready to lay down the law, because she won’t be stuck and need you to get her out anymore. That right there is a whole different struggle! Best wishes!
When my kids went to daycare they took naps at the same time every day. I would mirror that on the weekends when they were at home. I kept them on the same schedule as they had at school during the week. Keeping kids on a schedule is key. It’s a little different because Molly doesn’t go to school/daycare 5 days a week, but my kids took 2-3 hour naps until they went to kindergarten. Now they’re actually adults and they still take naps haha! Good luck!
I would absolutely try a big girl bed.
My 5 y/o needs quiet time. We just lay on the couch while she watches a couple shows & we both feel refreshed after vegging out.
I’m going to give the same suggestion as everyone else. We transitioned my 3 1/2 year old to a toddler bed a few months after he turned 2. He wasn’t so sure about it at first because he would only fall asleep when he was in mommy’s bed but we would eventually move him so he would get used to waking up in his bed. He just recently started sleeping in his bed all on his own without any issues. She might be ready for a toddler bed before a big girl bed. Toddler beds fit the crib beds so it great not having to buy a regular bed until it’s needed. And my son still naps on a daily basis but only at home or the car ride home from grandma’s house (she watches my 2 boys on everyday while my husband and I are at work).
I would try putting a clock she can see in her room by her bed and show her on the clock what time she can get up and explain to her she doesn’t have to sleep, but she must lay in her bed and rest. Let her listen to an audio book while she rests and if she is tired enough she will fall asleep while listening to the book, if not she will have at least rested. It would be worth a try. ❤️
First I’ll start off by saying you’re doing a great job mama!! I am struggling with this too now with my 3.5 year-old. I think the fact that she is showing pure exhaustion is your answer that she still needs them.
Here are things that are helping us… everyone is different though:
1. Big boy/girl bed: you mentioned she’s in a crib. Have you converted it to the toddler bed? I didn’t until around her age, even though my friends were way ahead of me. I was so concerned my son would climb all over the place like a monkey, but he did the opposite. I think knowing he can get out takes the fight away from it. If our son doesn’t nap, he at least has to stay in his room for one hour and quietly play (I still leave the lights off).
2. Reward system: there are tons of free reward charts online and we use one for all the things that he gives us a hard time with (no pee accidents, eating dinner w/o fussing, going to bed w/o fussing, cleaning up toys, etc). You can write whatever your task and reward is. Ours range from 10 extra minutes of special time, an extra book at night, a popsicle or a small toy). It has helped immensely with me getting out of his room quickly at night; he would keep me in there for 30+ min previously!
3. Be honest with them: I tell my son if he doesn’t nap then he has to go to bed early. I also remind him at nap time the reason we nap is so we aren’t so grumpy at night, and remind him how he was the night before.
Also I’ll add dropping naps at home and not at school is totally normal! Pretty much all of my son’s friends are doing it. I guess they just don’t want to miss a moment with us!
Good luck ❤️
Are you using the ”light”to let her know green means she is able to get up? Maybe try giving her a countdown clock & let her count down the 60 minutes she has to “rest.” Maybe suggest, you don’t have to close your eyes, but your body needs a rest. Good luck!
I’m the retired clinical social worker with a specialization in children. To me she sounds like she is ready for a big gig girls bed. And rather than napping put on a DVD that is a story. If she is tired she will go to sleep, if not she will still lay quietly a d regroup. If she has a meltdown earlier in the day tell her that tells you she needs some time to group and give her that time immediately.. there is one other possibility. She may want you all to herself when her little brother goes down. Stagger the time they go down and let her stay up later after he goes down. She needs to see she is older and being treated different That may help. Contact me if you have any questions.
What about creating a similar environment to how she naps at school? What music do they play? Do they lay down on a mat? Do they rub her back? Maybe that will help. The big girl bed can be cool and fun for them. I got some advice from a sleep trainer and she said keep them in the crib as long as you can. Bedtime gets waaaaay more difficult without the crib. I agreed, as I thought about how we transitioned my daughters too early from their cribs to beds at two. Every child is different. Do what works for your family. Best of luck for your sweet baby girl, Molly.
Maybe try to have her sleep in a cot or may likes she does at school. That worked for a friend of mines son. Hope that helps.
For my toddler, transitioning out of the crib helped once he started protesting naps. Consistency and routine is key also for us. Making sure that we take naps consistently around the same time every day helps. I also bought the hatch nursery light after watching one of your stories about it and this has also become crucial for naps for us. He knows he has to stay in his room when the light is orange and when it’s bkue it’s time to get out.
I will say that we still rock our almost 3 year old so I’m not sure this next bit of information will help you but… I have noticed for naps we have to rock him until he’s completely asleep or he won’t nap on his own. However at bed time after a few minutes of rocking he goes and lays down on his own and can fall asleep all by himself! I think they just become super aware during the day and they know things are still going on while they are napping so they protest it a little bit harder! Good luck mama!
Our girl is Molly’s age and stopped napping once we took her binky away just after age 2. Sounds like Molly still needs one though! I say stick with quiet time and maybe do an earlier bedtime? Idk. The suggestions about a new bed are great too.
I started doing “rest time” everyday with my oldest son while his little brother was sleeping. It was our time together everyday. We would sit on the couch together with a snack and watch two 30 minute shows or read books. It worked for us and 10 years later…we have the best “rest time” memories. He got his much needed down time and alone time with me, I enjoyed those time so much.
Hi Ali!!! My daughter is the same age as Molly. It’s been monthssss since she started fighting me for a nap. Then of course, she was so cranky and I was so.frsutrated.Throw my newborn son into.the mix and I was just at a loss like you are now. The more I stressed her napping ,the harder she fought me. Now what I do is quiet time, she lays down and relaxes..One in a blue moon, she will nap!!! I know Molly is.still in her crib.Im thinking that if she goes into a big girl bed she will be more excited to lay down.Good luck hang in there! It gets easier.Mommy of 5 here
Hi Ali! I have a daughter the same age as Molly and I agree it might be worth trying a big girl bed! We surprised our daughter with Paw Patrol sheets, a new pillow and she loved it. She knows she has to lay there and cant get out of bed. I sit and pat her back for a couple of minutes and she sleeps about 80-90 minutes. We also still let her have one day a week with no nap. We base that on the weeks activities but she thinks that’s a special day and doesn’t fight naps at all on the other days! Good luck!
Our biggest help has been adding in the hatch light. We have it turn blue when it is time to sleep and pink when it is time to wake up. For whatever reason, having something else dictating naptime helped alleviate any protesting!
I truly believe sleep between the ages of 2-4 is the most difficult! The issues that crop up are a lot harder to fix. I disagree with the comments about a big girl bed- it is so much harder to contain them once they have a big kid bed- I say keep her in her crib as long as possible. If you do go to a big girl bed, I recommend a child door lock or gate at the door from the get go, otherwise the next problem you will have is a toddler crawling in your bed every night. If naps are consistently that much of a fight I would just drop them and be done, but she may need a much earlier bed time for awhile until she adjusts (like 630 pm). She will adjust, its so tough!
My son is 3 and we’ve been all over with this as well. He has trouble going to sleep at night but not naps. Our best solution so far has been capping his nap at 60 mins or so and he does ok at night. My daughter (now 6) was like Molly in that it was such a fight to get her to nap. Once we dropped them completely and she adjusted, she was sooo much better. Shes a great sleeper now! Good luck, toddler sleep is truly the toughest!
Agree with you on the earlier bedtime until she adjusts to the nap drop. I’m curious though on the child lock or gate…..how do they get up to go to the bathroom? My 2 1/2 year old daughter who moved into a big girl bed on her 2nd bday sometimes got up to go potty at night. We had plenty of nightlights so it was safe. All of my kids were in big beds by age 3, and so could get up for the bathroom. When they’d come out of bed, we’d just keep putting them back till they got the idea. Agree, toddler nap between 2-3 while they are preparing to lose the nap is a tough transition!
Hi Ali,
Just wanted to help with Molly not napping. Have you tried phrasing it as “Molly time” instead of quiet time? I follow Emma (play_at_home_mummy) an Aussie mum who has her 5 and 3 yr old have quiet time in their bedroom and has them listen to a book on audio, through an app or iPad that is just playing the story and she can follow along, though I know maybe watching something isn’t the first choice. After 30mins of the book, if they are awake they are then able to play quietly while there’s a sand timer (visual aid) going. When the sand is at the bottom that means quiet time is over. Different strategy of tv or complete silence. Plus them not having the expectation of sleep and it’s their choice helps. Sometimes they sleep and others not. Thought since Molly loves reading it might work? Maybe phrasing it as Molly Time instead. And giving her the choice of playing after the story ends and playing quiet activities that are independent, like colouring, stickers, building, birthday parties without Riley lol, fine motor activities like threading shoelaces (there’s the actual activity can’t remember what it’s called), wipe board activities etc . And hope she falls asleep listening to the story. Converting her crib since you have the conversion kit would be the easiest, if it goes well awesome maybe Christmas she can get a big girl bed but easy to change back if it’s a lot of work. Basically having a talk with Molly way before nap time is scheduled and explain big girls sometimes are tired and sometimes they aren’t so I think because your a big girl we need to try something new etc
HI! Oh the 3 year old power struggle is real! I love your blog and how real you are, and you are a great mom!
I wonder if its a combination of phasing out of naps and her wanting control. Like every transition its not an over night thing so the next 3-6-12 months it may be some days she naps and some days she doesn’t. At some point if you are all just miserable with the struggle (and I have been there!) I would just give up the nap and put her to bed waaay earlier. It will be a harder transition for both you and molly! I truly think one of the hardest transitions it going to no nap because it was such a nice break for everyone mom/dad included!
That is awesome she naps at school (everything is always easier when someone else is in charge, they are hardest on their parents!) but this can catch her up. Is she still able to get to bed at a decent time with the nap? A lot of times dropping the nap is because with it they are up to 9/10 pm and that is not fun for any parents!
I would suggest the quiet hour and use the hatch with the light to let her know when she can come out. Some days she may nap and some days she may not, but regardless she needs at least an hour of quiet in her room away from everyone (also so you can get a break!).
I thought of you this week because my 7 month old is waking up every 2-3 hours at night and I am exhausted! I worried that he was hungry so I would keep going in and feeding him and this week I realized there is no way that he needs to eat that often now that he is 7 months old! I remember you saying that we think we are helping them by getting them when he is crying but in this instance he needs to soothe himself back to sleep without me feeding him! Thank you for the reminder!
There are a million decisions we make everyday with our kids and sometimes there is no right answer! You just follow your gut, and remember you are an amazing mom- truly you are.
You could try the big girl bed! Our daughter (same age as Molly) never fights naps, BUT she went through a phase where she fought bed time tooth and nail. Sometimes there would be tantrums until 11 pm. 🥺 It turns out she was scared. We had to sit with her while she fell asleep. Then after 2 months of that, we got her to sleep on her own. It’s been better, but it’s still a struggle some nights. A sleep consultant told us to make sure it was a positive experience, so we drastically changed how we were handling it. That probably helped the most. These toddlers have wills of steel!!
My kids are teenagers now, but the biggest rule we always followed was consistency. So if they didn’t want to nap, I’d say fine, but you’re still spending an hour of quiet time in your bed, every day at the same time, regardless. More often then not, they would eventually fall asleep. And bed time was always the same too, with same routine leading up to it. Also, I would for sure move her to a regular bed, and if she has issues staying in, explore a reward chart as an incentive (stickers for every day she stays in bed), some small treat at a certain number of stickers. Good luck!
Try mimicking what her teacher does at naptime. What she says, how they sleep (on cots, or the floor with sleeping bags), darkness of the room, etc. Are there consequences for a child who acts up at naptime? Keeping her routine the same everyday whether she is at school or not is important. Definitely agree it’s time for a big girl bed. Sending prayers for you and the family..you will figure this out.
Time for a big girl bed, and turn it into “rest” time PERIOD. Get a clock, colored light bulb, timer, whatever works as others suggested. She goes to the room, STAYS in there for the agreed upon time, reading or whatever. My daughter used a reward/bribe chart with stickers for every day this was accomplished successfully. It WORKS. It helps establish a pattern for Riley too. Offering kiddos too many choices puts them in control, not you! You’re doing FINE Momma..❤
My advise would be toddler bed or big girl bed and/or later nap.
I personally like to do slow transitions because it’s less shocking so I’d likely do a crib to toddler bed conversation. And then if that works I’d move to a big girl bed. Or have both in her room. Like keep her crib and a big girl bed. At three it’s all about having control of any kind so she might sleep if she feels like she can get out or if she can pick which bed to sleep in.
Another thing I’d do is move her nap later. I know it’s convenient when your kids naps over lap but it sounds like she kinda just needs a power nap to get through the rest of the day. Maybe do a 4pm cat nap. So for just about 30-45 mins. Then it will get her through the rest of the night but it’s not enough of a nap to disrupt bed time.
One last thing, she might not need it every day. I know a schedule and consistency are nice but when a kid is transitioning to less sleep, they sometimes can make it through the day fine and other days not. I think as her parent you can pretty much predict what days she’ll need naps. With my daughter who is the same age as Molly, I can almost tell from the time she wakes up for the day if she will need a nap that day.
This is what we have done with my oldest and my daughter who, like I said, is the same age as Molly. Good luck. I hope you can find something that works for your family and you can all feel happier and lesser stressed, exhausted and frustrated. Love!
Big girl bed time! Also, ours was fighting it as well so we started letting her take some toys to bed and she has to stay in bed but she can play. Pretty much 99% of the time she plays, then nods off all on her own. Usually with toys all around her. Some days are shorter, some longer but she gets some rest and we keep our sanity because we aren’t fighting with her or forcing her to sleep. I think as soon as they feel like they have no choice, they fight it.
Is she a child who is enticed by food/ treats? My suggestion would be to transition to the big girl bed ( full size mattress like a real big kid 👸🏻) and let he pick her decorations for that . If she goes to her bed and STAYS in her bed without getting up she gets a treat after nap and overnight . Some suggestions are a few little candies or get a big box of treats and fill it with really inexpensive toys 🧸. If she is consistent for a week or month or whatever you all decide she gets a special outing ( build a bear ? Fair? Park with just mommy?) . She can track her progress on a sticker calendar so you can say “look Molly you made it a week with quiet time and night time in your big bed with no getting up!” Now
It’s special molly trip time!” .
I don’t have any solid answers for you but just wanted to say that you are doing awesome, your kids are amazing, you and your husband are a great team and together you guys will get through this! Also I don’t think that there is a right or wrong age to transition a child from crib to bed or to drop naps. Go with whatever works for you and your family. My son who turned 3 in May stay in his crib until he was 3 and we never experienced any issues with nap or bed times or refusals to sleep in his crib. Maybe if you decide to drop the nap, try putting her to bed earlier in the evening and see if that helps with the evening crankies. Good luck and stay strong!
I think she for sure needs a big girl bed. When my oldest started fighting naps he was already in a big boy bed. So we started quiet time instead of nap time. We have an ok to wake clock ( from Amazon- similar time the hatch) and set his “nap” timer for 1 and a half hours. Then we leave him in his room and he can read books, do puzzles, or color ( magic markers and their special paper only). We then tell him if he’s tired he can lay down but he doesn’t have to. He does great with quiet time and will willingly put himself down for a nap when he feels like he needs it. And if he doesn’t, he knows to stay in his room until his clock turns green and to do his quiet activities. He’s 4 now and we still do this and it’s a great break for me and for him!
Thanks for always being so open and vulnerable in sharing hard seasons of parenting because we all have them for sure! My advice would be treat the fits before nap time as more of an obedience issue and not a napping issue. You can say when mom or dad says it’s time for nap you need to obey “right away with a happy heart” and if she throws a fit she gets disciplined the first time ( let what you say be what you mean and don’t argue with her). And also I always say that if the kid is quiet and happy in bed its restful, whether they actually sleep or not it doesn’t really matter, just think if you sat quietly in your room that would be restful to you, so I wouldn’t stress about whether she actually sleeps or not.
Good luck! We’re all on the same team as parents, just trying to survive and do our best!
My daughter is about Molly’s age and she did this about a year ago. I moved her to a big girl bed just before her third birthday and the fights COMPLETELY WENT AWAY! She was ready for a big girl bed for months and I didn’t realize it. She loves the bed and sleeps so much better now!
We started quiet time and found our four year old will naturally put herself down when she’s tired. She has to stay in room two hours quietly playing until her clock turns green and it’s worked awesome!
I started following you on Instagram when Riley was born. You were home a lot and I love the family posts the most.
You are so genuine and real and you seem to be becoming more and more in demand for marketing & TV. Bravo for your success but Molly might be feeling it. Be sure and schedule special alone times with her. She maybe feeling disconnected. I know I am missing you being relaxed and being with your family, but I understand.
Hi
You were talk about getting molly toddler bed you and molly go and look at them to what she like and to have mommy time with and she would happy to pick out what she likes too so she can feel apart of this
What is she napping on at daycare? Maybe you can get the same cot or bedding, since she’s used to napping at school on that. It might save you the headache of a full big girl bed transition while undergoing naptime stuff. Regardless, you’re doing a great job. We all have days where we aren’t at our best (just like our kids!). You’re still a great mom
We are in similar situation with our 3 year old son. He naps most days at preschool but then won’t nap at home unless it’s in the car or he passes out on the couch. He’s in a big boy bed but he mostly sleeps on the floor by his door! We just figure he’s at the stage where he may start dropping his nap? 🤷♀️ Best of luck thru this toddler phase!
My almost 3.5yr twins also don’t nap at home anymore either. Probably started right after they turned 3. But they both diligently nap at school, I swear their teachers have magic powers!
Sleep. Is. Everything. I am going through this with my three year old. Because I drive a long way to take him to speech twice a week, car naps are inevitable on those days. On other days, some times he can go without a nap (but oh the crankiness) and other times he will take a long nap (even if we try waking him he’s like no way people) but then he will barely sleep at night. It’s such a tough transition. Yesterday he woke me up at 5:30 and I was so sleep deprived all day I felt I could barely function. I just kept thinking that I desperately needed to sleep but couldn’t because I needed to take care of my two boys. Those are my least favorite types of days. You can’t even think rationally when sleep deprived and physically or mentally exhausted – or both. Parenting is peaks and valleys constantly.
This is kinda late, but when my kids stopped naps, they had to have quiet time for at least an hour in their rooms. They could do whatever they wanted. Sometimes they fell asleep or just read quietly or played with toys. I think I had some kind of timer or something so they knew when the hour was up.
I sleep trained my kid with this very gentle HWL method that Susan Urban wrote about ( I’ve found her guide on this website: http://www.parental-love.com ). The method is without CIO and that’s why I gave it a try. After only 3 days my son started to sleep 12 hours straight and stopped napping. Amazing!
This guide is brilliant! I’m surprised that I haven’t heard of it before. I’m so grateful that I stopped by here for a moment to read this article and your comment. Thank you for sharing the link. I can easily say that my life as a mom has changed and I’m finally well-rested
For us it was 5 days (nights in fact) but I believe it is still good enough! Susan’s method is the best. It’s my 4rd child and 3rd sleep training but first one ever without the guilt!
I know the guide from a few years back, it is fantastic.This is the definition of a COMPLETE GUIDE to sleep training! Perfect!
Hey Ali,
My daughter is a month younger than Molly and was exhibiting the same behavior — fighting naps and bedtime. I wanted to share that about a week ago, I took the advice from the other readers via these comments and switched our daughter to a toddler bed. So far, the switch has been FANTASTIC! She climbs into her bed at nap time without fights and even if she doesn’t end up sleeping, she plays quietly in her bed and rests. I am so happy we took this advice — I hope it works out for your family as well! 🙂
I would suggest a big girl bed and let her pick out the bedding and stuff for it. I would suggest using a bed rail at least for a little bit until she gets used to sleeping in the big bed. This will help her to feel more like a big girl and could help with potty t raining also, if you are having trouble with that. Does she go to school Monday through Friday? I know in your blog you said that she has been napping at school so I am wondering if you are just having problems with naps on the weekends. If this is the case maybe ask what the nap routine is like at school and try doing things the way they do.